Chapter 7

Over the next month Drew’s daily schedule remained fairly constant. She had PT twice a day, daily visits with the kids, and psychological counseling every other day. Even though there were vast improvements in Drew’s physical abilities, her memories had failed to resurface leaving Lola frustrated, because Drew had no interest in her other than through the kids. They had only friendly exchanges, nothing that Lola was used to from her usually passionate partner.

Once Drew was cleared to be discharged from the hospital, Drew’s positive demeanor became agitated. It was clear she had no intention of even trying to become close to Lola again, sleeping alone in the downstairs guestroom while Lola took the couch and Drew’s parents stayed upstairs in the master bedroom. Drew always demanded that her parents help her with her therapy, leaving Lola completely out of the process. Not knowing what else to do, Lola relented, letting Drew have her way and focused solely on the children.

Two weeks after being discharged, the situation at home had not improved between them. Drew’s parents had left in an effort to get Drew and Lola to deal with things, but the first night they were alone after the kids had been put to sleep was filled with awkwardness. Drew was sitting at one end of the couch drinking a cup of tea and just reading a book as Lola straightened up the living room. Once that was complete, Lola took a seat next to Drew, closer than she had over the passed several weeks. Drew scowled at her but then continued to ignore her.

“Drew, can we talk? We need to discuss what’s happening here.”

“Nothing is happening here, and that is fine with me.” she grumbled.

“Well, it’s not fine with me. You owe it to me as my wife to at least entertain this conversation.” Drew sighed and closed her book, giving Lola her attention. “Drew, what’s really going on in your head? You’ve been avoiding contact with me since you regained consciousness, and now that you’re home, you act as if I’m not even in the room. I can’t go on this way. I love you, and I need you to treat me at least with common courtesy. I can’t stand being pushed aside like this by you, especially since I’ve been nothing but supportive of you. Why are you doing this?”

Drew looked at her lap, knowing that Lola was right. She had been less than receptive to the young woman’s efforts to talk and be close to her. “Lola, I’m sorry. I know this has to be hard for you, but it’s even harder on me. I don’t remember anything, not you, not our kids, not our life, and not our love. Everyone around me keeps telling me how much I love you, how in love I am with you, but I can’t remember it, and I don’t feel it. You are Kate’s daughter, and for that I do care about you. I love you like a second mother, not a wife or lover. I’ve tried to picture it, but I can’t. It makes me ill with guilt. I can’t pretend that I do feel something that strongly, and I shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry. I know this has to hurt you, but I can’t be what you need. I just can’t.”

Lola felt her heart being ripped from her chest at the admission. At that moment she wasn’t sure if she could even speak as the tears began to fall in rapid streams down her face. Seeing that her confession had completely shattered the younger woman, Drew reached out to her in sympathy but was rebuffed. “Please don’t touch me, Drew. I could very likely die from your touch right now. It’s too painful. I don’t know what to say. I guess I asked for it by forcing you into a corner about it. I should’ve just let us work it out on our own time.”

“My feelings are not going to change, Lola. I’m sorry to hurt you this way, but I can’t go on living as life companions when I don’t feel that for you. Would you really want me to go on this way?”

Lola let the question sink into her brain. She knew she and Drew would both be miserable if Drew really didn’t feel deeper for her. It wouldn’t be the marriage they once had. There would be no intimacy or physical contact, and even though Lola didn’t rely solely on those things in their relationship, they were too important to her to forgo just for the sake of calling themselves a couple. “I would never want to put you through anguish like that, Drew. I do love you enough to spare you pain whenever possible, but I refuse to call it quits on our marriage. The doctors said this would take time, not to rush into things. I’m begging you to heed that advice. Please don’t make any decisions in haste.”

“I want to leave, Lola. I want out. Please let me go.”

“I can’t.” she hoarsely replied putting her hand on Drew’s arm. “You are my world, Drew. You are my life. I need you. The children need you.”

“I’m not going to walk out on the kids. I’ll be there for them. I promise. I’ll be as good of a mother as I ever was, but I need you to release me of this burden. Being your wife is not something I can do. I don’t know how I did it then, but I can’t do it now.” Hearing Drew call their relationship a burden shredded that last piece of Lola’s heart. She began to uncontrollably weep as she rocked herself back and forth on the couch. Not knowing what to do to bring the blonde consolation, Drew quietly got off the couch. “I’ll pack my belongings in the morning.” she mumbled softly before beginning to walk away, but Lola’s hand shot out and grabbed a hold of the hem of her khaki shorts.

“Wait, Drew.” she whispered. Drew looked down at her expectantly. In all her life Drew had never seen such a wounded expression on anyone before, and her heart went out in compassion to the young woman. Lola took a deep breath and stood, gazing at Drew with unguarded complete love and adoration. “Do you have any idea where you’re going to go?”

“No. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Why?” Drew asked suspiciously at the unexpected turn of the conversation.

“Do you want the kids and me to move out instead?”

“No. I want you and the kids to stay here for now. This is their home, and I don’t want to upset them any more than necessary. At some point a move might have to happen, because I think they’ll be better off with you on a daily basis, but for now the four of you stay here.”

“I’ll make you a deal, Drew. I’ll give you the keys to Mom and Dad’s old place and let you stay there as long as you want, but you have to do something in return for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me that you won’t start any proceedings to legally end this relationship for six months and also keep supporting the kids financially until I can find a job.”

“You and the kids will be taken care of financially. Don’t worry about that. As for the relationship, I will do as you ask but only because I can see how much I’ve already hurt you. Maybe in six months time, it will be less painful. I’m going to go to bed now, so I can be rested for tomorrow. Good night, Lola.” Lola said nothing as she collapsed onto the couch again.

The following morning Lola and Drew were both up before the kids. Coming across each other in the kitchen, they each mumbled a morning salutation before going about their own business. As Drew left the kitchen with a cup of coffee, Lola stopped her. “Just so you know, I’m taking the kids to Mom and Jim’s to go swimming today. I don’t think they should be here to watch you move your things.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“I’ll give you a call later as we head back, and maybe you could come see them to bed tonight.”

“All right. Thanks, Lola.” Drew said before taking her leave.

Picking up the phone, Lola called her mother. “How are you this morning, Lola? You don’t sound good. When are you, Drew, and the kids coming over?”

“Um, the kids and I will be there before lunch. Drew’s not coming.”

“Why not? She’s still on leave, isn’t she? She’s not ready to go back to work.”

“She is still on leave, but she had other things she needs to do today.” Lola whispered trying to hold herself together over the phone, but her mother sensed something wrong instantly.

“Lola, what aren’t you telling me?”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone. We’ll talk when the kids go down for their naps this afternoon.”

“All right. If that’s what you want. See you in a bit.”

When Lola arrive with the children, Kate cast a concerned glance in her direction as she hugged her grandchildren but she respected Lola’s wishes not to discuss it in front of the kids. However as soon as they went down for naps after lunch, Kate pulled Lola onto the couch in the living room. Silently she held her youngest as Lola cried what seemed to be an endless river of tears. After several minutes Lola simply croaked, “She’s leaving me.”

“What? What do you mean she’s leaving you? You mean she’s ending your relationship?” Lola nodded trying to wipe her wet face with her hands. “Why on earth would she want to do that?”

“I don’t know, Mom. She refuses to give us a chance. She won’t listen to reason. She won’t heed the doctors’ advice to take it slowly, not to expect miracles.”

“Exactly what did she say?”

“Just that it made her ill to think about us together sexually. She thinks of me as a daughter, not a wife or lover, and she couldn’t pretend to be anything else. I don’t know what to do, Mom. I can’t go on without her.”

“I know it feels that way now, sweetie, but it will get easier. I promise. What happens now? You both aren’t living in the house I suspect.”

“No. She’s agreed to let the kids and me stay at the ranch, and I gave her permission to stay at your and Daddy’s old house. In exchange for that she has to wait six months before filing a request to split our assets. She promised to keep supporting the kids and me until I found a job. I really do think I’ve lost her, Mom.”

“Don’t give up, Lola. Just because Drew has doesn’t mean you should. I don’t know why she has decided to go against all the advice of the doctors, but if she ever does remember, she’ll live to regret it.”

“Maybe but that doesn’t do anything for me now. She’s determined to just walk out on everything we’ve built together. Something is going on with her, and I don’t know what it is. I know Melissa said Drew was thinking as her twenty-one year old self and that included being in love with you, but surely she knows that you two could never be together. Could you? Would you leave Jim for her?” Lola asked, suddenly unsure of where her mother stood on the subject of Drew’s affections.

“No, I would not leave Jim for Drew. I don’t love her that way, not the way you do. You have nothing to worry about between Drew and me, Lola. I would never do something like that.”

“I’m sorry to question you. I’m just feeling so lost right now.”

“It’s understandable. You’re going through a trauma yourself. Drew is not the only one who has suffered.”

“What am I to do, Mom?”

“I don’t know, but I am sure of one thing. You can’t give up. You fought so hard to win her, fighting against everything, me, her, society. She meant that much to you. If she still means that much to you, you have to fight for her love, even if it means fighting her.”

When Drew arrived at Kate and Paul’s old house, she felt awkward at first. The last recollection she had of the place was the time she had sat with Kate and the girls the summer vacation between her junior and senior of college, and her feelings for Paul were less than friendly. In fact she had been seethingly jealous of the man who had stolen her beloved Katherine, even though she never dared mention it to her friend.

Opening the door she set her bags down at the entrance as she looked around the living room. All the furniture was covered in sheets or plastic to keep dust away, and it was clear that no one had been there for awhile. Experimentally flicking on the light, she was pleased to see that there was electricity. Drew’s first order of business was to open all the windows to air out the house, so she slowly made her way to each window. As she moved into the master bedroom, she felt uncomfortable as if she as intruding on the privacy of Kate and Paul. Looking around the room after opening the blinds, a picture on top of the dresser caught her eye. Going over to it, she picked it up for further inspection. Wiping the dust off the glass with her hand, she studied the photo of herself with a man she assumed was Paul. They were older than Drew could recall, thinking that they were at least in their late twenties if not early thirties. They had embraced each other around the shoulder for the picture even though both sported dirty clothes. Drew was holding a string of fish while Paul had two poles, and they were both smiling brightly at the camera. Drew wondered if there was any information on the back, so she proceeded to open the frame. Sure enough of the back of the photo said in Kate’s distinctive handwriting, “Paul and Drew taking the girls on their first camping trip.” Suddenly a grin broke out on Drew’s face as the memory seemed to hit her out of nowhere.

Paul, Drew, and the girls had jsut come back to their camp site with their dinner, and as the two adults chatted about the best way to cook their recently caught meal, Natalie called their names to gain their attention. When they looked over at her, the nine year old was standing there with the camera she had receieved as a birthday present from Drew. Immediately Paul and Drew embraced each other, smiling proudly as they showed off their fishing efforts.

Later that night as the four of them settled down to sleep in their tent, Drew slept on one side and Paul on the other with the two girls between them. There had been a disagreemtn between the girls as to who was going to sleep next to Drew, the winner having been decided with a coin toss by Paul. Drew was awake listening to the sounds of the night when she saw Lola’s little head pop up from her sleeping bag. Whispereing the eight year old’s name, Drew reached out for her. Lola whimpered said she was scared by the noise. Drew brought the little girl into her arms as she assured her that nothing would ever happen to her as long as she and Paul were around. She stroked Lola’s blonde hair gently until they both fell asleep.

“I remember.” she whispered to herself, relieved that something had returned to her as she placed the picture back where it belonged. She had Paul must have become friends somewhere alone the line, meaning that Drew had ultimately gotten over the loss of Katherine. Drew knew the only way she could’ve been friends with the man was if she no longer had feelings for Kate.

Leaving the master bedroom, she wandered through the rest of the house, hoping for more clues that would unlock her mind. When she came to the last closed door, she figured it had to be Lola’s room, one of the previous bedrooms obviously belonging to Natalie with some of the memorabilia. Drew took a deep breath, not knowing if she was prepared to enter the childhood room of her wife, wondering what might be inside, especially since her mother had told her that she and Lola had dated while the blonde was still in high school. Knowing she had to face whatever might be on the other side of the door, Drew pushed it open and stepped into the room.

The bed was bare just like all the others except for a tiara that had seen better days hanging from one of the bedposts at the head of the bed and pom poms hooked over the other. Surprisingly there weren’t any pictures anywhere out in the room. Seeing a photo album on the bookshelf above Lola’s desk, Drew went over to it. Flipping through it, she realized she didn’t recognize any one in there, figuring they were all friends of Lola’s from school by their ages, but just before she put the book back on the shelf, a large envelope fell from the back, spilling its contents on the floor. Drew leaned down to retrieve them when she noticed that they were pictures of her. Drew put the book on the desk to use both hands to pick up the massive collection before glancing through them. Every single photo was of her alone spanning her life from the time she was in high school herself standing in her basketball uniform to her leaning next to her squad car in her sheriff’s uniform. With over fifty photos in the collection, it spanned her entire adult life. Drew turned them over looking for any sort of background information, seeing some of them marked by Kate’s hand but the other handwriting was unfamiliar. Drew reckoned it was Lola’s, and each picture was meticulously documented with the date and event. Drew was amazed at the opportunity to glimpse back through her entire life even though most of the pictures she didn’t recognize and learn about what she had been like as well as realize that Lola’s fascination with her was more equivalent to an obsession than a crush. Having that realization dawn on her made Drew really uncomfortable as she moved to put the book back in its place. She put the pictures of herself back in the envelope but decided to keep them close to her, thinking that they might help spur some memories if she studied them enough.

Having gone through the entire house, Drew decided to stay in Natalie’s room, feeling the safest there, so she moved all her bags in there before heading out to the garage for more exploration. Hitting the garage door button mounted just inside the doorway, the door creaked open, letting the stale air escape. There was an vintage yellow Volkswagen Beetle in the garage as well as several boxes and miscellaneous items. Drew moved to the car. Trying the door, she was pleased to find it unlocked. Drew slid into the passenger’s seat as her hands roamed over the dashboard. Another memory flashed before her mind as she sat in the car of she, Natalie, and Lola.

It was sometime after Natalie’s sixteenth birthday, and the young brunette had insisted on showing off her new car to Drew the day she got it. Having gotten into the passenger’s seat, Drew allowed Natalie to chauffeur she and Lola down to the old Baskin Robbins for ice cream. Drew had bought them all cones which they ate outside leaning against the car, but once they were finished, Lola, who only had her driving permit, begged for a chance to drive the car. Natalie adamantly refused until Drew took her aside out of Lola’s earshot. Subtly slipping the teenager a twenty, Drew requested that Natalie allow Lola to drive. With an annoyed sigh, Natalie snatched the money and relented. Lola squealed in delight as Natalie handed her the keys, but instead of thanking her sister, Lola grabbed Drew for a grateful hug and kiss on the cheek before excitedly jumping into the driver’s seat.

Drew grinned to herself but abruptly a black guitar case caught her eye on top of a pile of boxes. Retrieving it off the top of the pile, Drew squatted down to put it on the floor. Even though the case had been banged up through the years it seemed to still be strong with very little rust around the joints. Drew’s name had been scratched into the paint onto the top of it. Drew smiled as she recalled Kate doing that with Drew’s knife one night when they had spent the night together in high school.

Popping open the locks, Drew gently opened the case. Pages and photos fell out of it first, revealing Drew’s old guitar that looked like it hadn’t been used in years. Drew thought of the last time she played it, the night before Kate was married to Paul, but it certainly looked like it hadn’t seen the light of day since. Picking up some of the pages that had fallen from the case, Drew smiled as she saw some of the songs she had written in high school and college but felt a bittersweet tug at her heart as she came to the last sheet. It was the last song she had ever played on her guitar, the love song that she had written for Katherine, the one that had expressed her undying love and devotion. At the time she knew Katherine had not known it was written for her, because Drew had been too scared to admit her feelings, especially since Kate was engaged to Paul, but Drew had sung it to her with all she felt in her heart before locking her old guitar away along with her emotions never to be seen again.

Drew picked up the two photos next, smiling when she realized they were of she and Kate in high school. The first one was of just Kate, sitting in the bed of Drew’s father’s truck in her cheerleading uniform giving the camera what Drew used to call Kate’s bedroom eyes. Even as Drew looked at the picture that look jumped started her libido as it had always done every time Kate ever gave her those eyes. The second picture was of the two of them on the porch swing at Drew’s ranch. They were both dressed in jeans and sweaters, and Kate was sitting in Drew’s lap, Drew’s arms around Kate’s waist and her head on the blonde’s shoulder as they smiled brightly for the camera. Drew remembered the picture as her favorite couple photo of the two of them. Putting them aside with the sheets of music, Drew gently picked up the guitar itself and tentatively plucked at one of the strings. It struck a flat note before snapping. Drew smiled nevertheless before putting everything back in the case and taking it back to the house.

Knowing there was work to be done, Drew began unpacking her clothes before making a list for the grocery store of the things she would be needing. As promised Lola called that evening as she was leaving her mother’s asking that Drew meet her at the ranch to spend time with the kids.

Drew went over to the house after a stop at the music store to buy new strings for her guitar and arrived before Lola and the kids had returned. Nevertheless Drew made herself comfortable in the living room watching tv. When she heard the garage door open, she went to meet the kids.

“Mommy!” Libby and Jack exclaimed racing to her.

“Hey, kids. How was swimming?”

“We had so much fun, Mommy. I wish you had gone though.” Libby mentioned.

“Me too but I had a lot of work to do today. Maybe next time. Did you eat already?”

“No. I thought you might make cheeseburgers here for them. They are their favorites you know.”

“You mean they’re your favorites.” Drew teased, suddenly wondering where the comment had some from.

Lola shot her a curious glance. “Drew? They are my favorite. Did you remember that?”

“I don’t know why I said that. They really are your favorite?”

“Yeah, the way you make them they are.”

“Well, let’s hope I remember how to make them then.” she joked, trying to bring light to the situation that neither of them really felt. “Speaking of remembering things though, some things did come back to me today.”

“What?”quickly Lola inquired, hoping that it had to do with their relationship.

“Camping with you, Natalie, and your dad when you were eight. I saw a picture of Paul and me, and it just came back to me. I also remember the yellow Beetle. The day Natalie got it the three of us went out for ice cream, and you drove us home.”

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad.” Lola replied trying to cover her disappointment that it wasn’t something more intimate between them.

“I think it was the picture itself that helped me remember your father. Do we have any photo albums around here? I thought maybe if I looked at some more photos it might trigger something.”

“Yeah. We have lots. I’ll dig them out for you.”

“Great. What about at your parents’ house? Are their any around there that you know of?”

“I don’t think so. I think Mom took most of that stuff to Jim’s. I’ll ask her next time I talk to her if you want.”

“That’s okay. I’ll ask her myself.”

Lola nodded, ending the conversation as she sat at the table with her children helping them complete a puzzle they had started earlier in the day while Drew prepared them all dinner. Lola kept an eye on Drew however, feeling small comfort that Drew seemed to know exactly where everything was in the kitchen without asking. Neither of them spoke about their separation in front of the children, so they spent the remainder of the evening as a family until the kids had been put down for the night. When Lola returned for putting the kids in bed, she found Drew cleaning the kitchen from supper.

“You don’t have to do that, Drew. I’ll get it later.”

“It’s okay. I’m almost finished.”

“How’s the house? I haven’t been over there in forever. Is everything all right?”

“Yeah. It’s a little dusty, but everything seems to be okay. It was interesting to be there, because I’m sure so much has taken place there that I can’t remember. I took a tour every room. Your room was enlightening.”

“My room? Why’s that?”

“I found something that kind of disturbed me. I didn’t mean to snoop, but I was looking through a photo album you had, and an envelope fell out of it. You had quite the extensive collection of my life in pictures. I’ve been told that we had a relationship when you were in high school by my mother, but I have to say that when I found those photos today, it seemed to me like your feelings for me, at least then, bordered on obsessive. Is that true?”

Lola gave a small nod. “I guess you could say that. It’s true I did have a lot of pictures of you. I even had many of you out in my room until you broke my heart the first time by breaking up with me right after I went to college. When that happened I took them all down and stuffed them in that envelope you found. I didn’t want to look at them, but I knew I couldn’t throw them away either.”

“Why did we break up?” curiously Drew inquired.

“You wanted me to have freedom, said I needed to live my life the way college kids were met to live.”

“Is that the only reason I gave you?”

“No. You saw me kissing another girl. I cheated on you, Drew.”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t ready for commitment I guess. Even as much as I loved you, I was only eighteen. I didn’t really know who I was or what I wanted from my life except when it came to you. I’ve always known that I wanted to be your wife, but for some reason the time and distance got to me. This other girl was there, and it was just one of those things. I was crushed that I had done that to you. I felt so terrible, and even though you never said it, I could see the pain in your eyes. Knowing I was the one that put it there was almost too much to bear.”

“I see. When did we get back together then?”

“Right before my senior year of college.”

“What happened in the meantime?”

Lola rolled her eyes and sighed. “In the meantime I cried my eyes out while you proceeded to fuck my mother.”

“Oh. I take it this is a sensitive subject. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“It’s okay. You don’t know. It is a sensitive subject for me. You and Mom basically lied to all of us about it, by hiding the relationship, because you knew it would destroy me or so you said when I finally confronted you about it. As much as I care about you and Mom, it still hurts to think about, because you both knew I was still in love with you when you two were sleeping together, but you did it anyway.”

Drew nodded feeling guilty about the incident even though she couldn’t remember it. Just the look on Lola’s face told her that it was traumatic for the young woman, so she felt sorry for her part in the matter. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for hurting you like that, Lola.”

“It’s in the past.” Lola mumbled. “Listen, I want to talk to you about something serious, Drew. Why don’t you come sit down?” she suggested gesturing to the chair next to her at the table. Even slowly took the indicated chair, wondering what Lola was about to say. “Drew, your moving out of the house could cause us a serious problem.”

“How’s that?” Drew asked, already not liking the direction of the talk.

“The petition for you to become legal guardian for the children hasn’t been granted yet. I’m afraid that if anyone finds out we aren’t living together, it will be denied, and I don’t want that. Regardless of our relationship, you are the children’s mother just as much as I am, and they need you. You deserve to be their guardian, but us splitting up could make it more difficult to be approved. I just want you to be aware of the fact that your actions effect more than just you and me. Our children’s lives are in the balance as well.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure no one finds out that I’m not living here at the house with you all.”

“I already told my mother, but I don’t think she’ll tell anyone. She feels the same way we do about the kids. I think it would be best if you spent as much time as you could around the house with us. I know you don’t want to be anywhere near me right now, but the kids need you, and we need to make it at least look like you’re still living here. We need to look very familiar with each other. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah. I need to make it look like I belong here with you. We need to pretend everything is fine.”

“Exactly. Now we’ve already been through all the interviews and stuff when I was pregnant with Emma, but because we recently added her to the petition, it hasn’t gone through yet. We have a hearing in a couple of weeks. We’re going to have to do one hell of an acting job to pull this off, Drew, or we can have it rescheduled for a later date.”

Drew thought about it for a moment before replying, “I think we should do it as soon as possible. We can blame my accident for any incongruencies, even get Melissa in there to say that I’ll eventually recover to make it believable if we need to. It might be harder for me later.”

“All right. If that’s how you want it, that’s what we’ll do, but I have to tell you that this means everything to me, to us, Drew. If you’re not ready, we shouldn’t go in there. We can’t afford to blow it.”

“I’d do anything for my children, Lola, and I’ll do this. I’ll give you the act of a lifetime if that’s what it takes. Don’t worry about that.”

“I am going to worry, Drew. It really does mean everything to me. Outside of us, this means more to me than anything else in this entire world.”

Drew gazed at the young woman who’s eyes were conveying the seriousness of the matter. Instinctively reaching to touch Lola’s cheek, Drew whispered, “I can see that. You have my word that I’ll be everything you need me to be in that courtroom. I swear it on all I am, Lola.”

Lola leaned into Drew’s hand, indulging in the unexpected caress for a moment. “Thank you, Drew.” she whispered.

Drew nodded before pulling her hand away. “Could you round up those photo albums now? I’m about ready to get out of here.”

“Yeah. Sure. One more thing, I haven’t told the kids you aren’t sleeping here at night. With your work schedule you never saw them in the morning anyway, so maybe with a little luck, they might not even notice as long as you make your nightly appearances.”

A couple of days passed with Drew visiting every day in the evenings. The kids seemed none the wiser about the situation much to Drew and Lola’s relief. However one day Kate had taken the children for the day with plans not to return them until it was their bedtimes, so Drew stayed at her own place, figuring Lola could come up with a reason of why she wasn’t there if need be.

Drew spent the evening on the porch watching the setting sun and strumming her guitar when she saw a car turn into the driveway. As it came to a stop, Drew smiled as Kate emerged from the driver’s seat. “How are you, Katherine?” she asked casually.

“Fine. You?” Drew shrugged. “Nice hat you’ve got on there. You look like a regular cowboy in that outfit. Lola would be drooling over you about now.” she teased referring to the cowboy hat adorning Drew’s head and the tight jeans and boots she was wearing.

“Well, this hat is better than this God awful haircut they gave me at the hospital.” Drew joked. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you and drop off those photo albums you asked for. Is that all right?”

“Sure. That’s fine. I just figured you’d leave them with Lola, though.”

“Well, my ulterior motive was to see you. It’s been awhile. May I sit down?”

“Yeah. Be my guest. Is it strange to see me now occupying your house?”

“A little, yes. When did you start playing again?”

“I didn’t realize I had stopped permanently. You mean to tell me this is the first time you’ve seen me with a guitar in years?”

“Yeah. The last time I heard you play was the night before my wedding. You left your guitar at my house, and it stayed there forever until my parents moved. They brought it me, and I just stored it in the garage. I didn’t want to get rid of it, because I had so many fond memories of you playing.”

“You want to see something funny?” Drew inquired opening the case and pulling out the pictures. She handed them to Kate.

“Oh my God. Look at us. We look so young. What a nice looking couple we made, huh?” she mentioned.

“Yeah, I think we did. Too bad I never got any action out of you, though. I wish I hadn’t been so scared to make a move on you.”

Kate laughed. “I probably would’ve given in had you put the moves on me.” Neither spoke for a few minutes as Drew idly plucked at the strings of her guitar until Kate said, “Hey. I recognize that song.”

“ You do? What is it?” Drew challenged, knowing there was no way Kate would remember that it was one Drew had written.

“I don’t remember what it’s called, but it’s the one you played for me the night before I got married. It was such a beautiful song. Didn’t you write it?”

“Wow. Ye

“Do you remember the words by chance?”

“No but I do have them written down.” she mentioned holding up the sheet she had been referring to as she played.

“Would you sing it for me, Drew?” Kate asked quietly. Drew hesitated but Kate gave her a pathetic pout whispering, “Please, Drew.”

Drew laughed. “God. So that’s where Lola got that pouting lip? All right. I’ll play it but only because you begged.” Drew plucked the strings a few times as she cleared her throat before beginning to sing. “I can’t imagine living one day without you I’d rather just lay down and die‘Cause all I care about is what I mean to you Sweet lady just knowing you is heaven I’ll always want you in my life I can’t explain, I can’t explain the way I feel You are the rhythm of my heart And every beat you give is just how I make do Swear girl nothing else could matter Just stay hear in my heart And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you There’s not a feeling in this world that can describe All of the joy you bring to me I can’t believe you found a way to maximize All the love you give and do commit Stay here in my life And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you And only everything that your heart could desire Is all that I want for you That’s all I desire And everything and anything you wanna give Say the word my darlin’ and I’m there to commit You can think it, you can dream it And I’ll make sure you receive it And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you I can’t explain, I can’t explain the way I feel You are the rhythm of my heart And every beat you give is just how I make do Swear girl nothing else could matter Stay hear in my heart And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you And I’ll always love you Deep in my heart Always love you, always love you”

As the last chord faded into silence, neither woman spoke at first. Drew took a deep breath and sighed as she placed the guitar aside. When she looked over at Kate she found the blonde near tears. “Why did I never see it, Drew? Everything I ever needed to know about the way you felt was in that song. How could I have missed it?”

“You didn’t want to see it, and I wasn’t very good about showing it, especially since I knew I had lost you.”

“All these years I believed that lie you told me about it being for your girlfriend whatever her name was. It wasn’t for her at all, was it?”

“Nope. It was for you, Katherine.”

“Of all the cold, heartless things that have ever happened to you, I inflicted you with the worst pain by making you stand up next to me in a church as my maid of honor while I gave my life to another the day after you sang me that song. I never understood your reluctance. You really didn’t want to do it, did you? What kind of a friend was I?”

“No. I really didn’t want to do it, but you wanted me to, and even then I could never say no to you, Katie. You shouldn’t give it another thought. It was a very long time ago, and I was dead inside long before you and Paul took those vows. It actually hurt worse the night you told me you were engaged. That was the worst night of my life. After I left you, I went to the bar and got wasted and proceeded to try to drive my truck home. I didn’t even care about anything any more. I could’ve cared less if I killed myself. In fact that’s probably what I wanted to do, which is why I got hammered. I got pulled over on the way home, but fortunately for me, the officer was my father’s best friend. Thank God he didn’t drag my ass to jail like he should have. I wouldn’t be the sheriff today, wouldn’t have even been able to get into law enforcement if it weren’t for him. He simply brought me home and let my dad deal with me. My father tore me up one side and down the other the next day, but I still didn’t even care. Finally after about four hours of him screaming at me, he asked what I had to say for myself, and do you know what I said? I looked up into his face and simply said that you were engaged to be married. It’s the only time in my life that I can ever remember my father cradling me like a baby as I wept. I swore I couldn’t go on another day, another hour, another minute, that I would surely die from heartbreak. You see, he always assumed you and I were together, and I never told him differently, because I wanted to believe that I could win you. He and I have never talked about that day again as far as I can remember.”

“I never knew that, Drew.” Kate said softly touching her friend’s arm.

“I didn’t want you to know that I had been so stupid. I could’ve killed myself or someone else. That really was the dumbest thing I have ever done that I know of in my entire life. And for what? A broken heart.” Drew mumbled taking up the guitar again and beginning to strum, signaling the end of the conversation.

Taking the hint Kate asked, “So, when are you planning on going back to work?”

“Probably next week. I’m doing all right physically. I can drive, and I can fire my side arm, so as long as there isn’t too much activity, I should be okay. I think it’ll help a lot. I can’t stand being cooped up like this.”

“I know. You never could handle too much inactivity. Tell me. How are you and Lola doing?”

“Fine I guess. We see each other every day to spend time with the kids. Since the custody hearing is coming up soon, we’re trying to familiarize ourselves with each other enough to make it seem like we’re still together. As of now, you’re the only one who knows we’re not living together. We don’t want that to get around at the hearing.”

“Don’t worry. As far as I know, you’re spending all your nights in Lola’s bed. You and Lola deserve this no matter what your troubles. The kids need you both. I’ll do all that I can to assure that they get that.”

“Thanks, Kate. We appreciate it.”

“Now how about you play me some more songs? I know you have other songs in there. It’s been forever since I’ve heard them.” Kate said with a smile. Returning it Drew agreed before taking off into another tune.

Continued: Chapter 8