Chapter 8

The day of the custody hearing Drew and Lola arrived together with the children. Even though most of their friends and family had already been interviewed prior to the court date, Kate and Jim came to show their support for them as well as babysit the kids. When it was time for them to enter the courtroom, Drew stood and began to give their kids hugs and kisses before leaving them in Kate and Jim’s care. Lola picked up Emma to get her situated on her hip before giving the older two the same treatment as Drew had. Kate hugged Drew before moving to Lola.

Leaning into her daughter’s ear, she whispered, “You have to have faith, Lola. Believe in the love you have for Drew. Let them see that. You can do this.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

As Drew and Lola walked toward the courtroom, Drew paused just before they got to the door. Lola looked up at her questioningly when she stopped. Drew extended her hand to the young woman and waited for a response. When Lola hesitated Drew whispered, “For the children, Lola.”

Lola suddenly realized Drew was planning on giving the acting performance of a lifetime by pretending that they were indeed still in a loving relationship by showing affection to her. Nodding in understanding Lola said, “Of course. For the children.” Slipping her hand into Drew’s she suggested, “Why don’t you hold Emma as we go in?”

They entered the courtroom just behind their attorney before moving to sit next to her. Drew held out Lola’s chair for her and waited until she was settled to sit in her own before the hearing began. The judge they had was a woman and seemed sympathetic to their situation, but she raised issues about Drew’s ability to provide and protect the children given her accident. Fortunately for them Melissa had volunteered to come speak on Drew’s behalf. However Drew insisted on addressing the judge herself much to the disapproval for their attorney, but Drew felt compelled to answer to the questions raised by the judge. Standing up Drew moved around in front of the table.

“Your honor, I appreciate you giving me the chance to speak. It’s true that I was recently involved in a serious accident, but as you heard from the specialist that attended to me, a full recovery is definitely possible if not expected. No one has mentioned the reason I was in an accident, but I would like to tell you about it. Even though I don’t remember the details, I’ve been told that the child that I call my son, five year old Jack, had gotten into some mischief with some of the horses at our ranch, and I actually had to save him from a potential accident himself. The point, your honor, is that I would do anything for these children to ensure their safety and well-being. From the moment each of them has entered our lives, they have brought nothing but happiness to Lola and myself. Lola and I have been in a serious committed relationship for six years, and even though it is not recognized by our state, it’s recognized in our hearts and in the hearts of our family and friends. She is a special woman to give me these three gifts, and I love and cherish each one of them. It is Lola’s and my greatest wish that I become the children’s legal guardian, and it is my desire to give my wife everything I can within my power. However this is not within my control, but it is within yours. I am a good mother to those children and a good wife to Lola. We have an ideal home full of love and understanding. The kids live in an atmosphere where they can grow and be their own people with our complete support. I provide well for them financially and will continue to do so. The kids already recognize me as their mother, even share my last name, and heaven forbid anything ever happen to Lola, I need the law’s protection to do what is best for these kids. If the children and I ever lost Lola, it would be devastating, but I could and would go on, because the children would need that from me. However if I lost the woman I love and then my children on top of that because of a law that doesn’t recognize me as their legal parent just because I’m another woman, I don’t think I could go on, and I know my children wouldn’t be able to either. They need me, your honor, for their emotional, physical, and financial well-being, and I want to have that responsibility. Regardless of the ruling here today, Lola and I will continue to raise the children as if they are of my flesh and blood, but it would a great comfort to us to have the state’s assurance that I can continue to adequately protect these kids in case something were to happen to Lola. Please show my children that our judicial system is not prejudice against two people who love each other completely and have the means of supporting them simply because we are not what is considered a traditional family by society. Thank you.”

When Drew took her seat again, she spared Lola a smile as she squeezed her hand on the top of the table. They all looked at the judge expectantly who was staring back at them with equal intensity. “Well, Sheriff Bailey and Ms. Emerson-Bailey, this is a difficult decision to make, because your relationship is not recognized by the state. If you were a man and a woman, you wouldn’t even be here, but since that is not the case, you have come here seeking legal protection under the law, the same law that does not recognize you. Sheriff Baily, I understand the way you feel about these children. Children are easy to love, especially when someone you adore gives them life, but the fact remains that they are not of your blood regardless of their name, and I could deny your petition on those grounds alone. Plus the fact that you are not in your top emotional shape as admitted by your own doctor, should give me more of a reason to dismiss this case. Thirdly you are indeed a woman who has chosen to spend her life with another woman, making it extremely difficult to grant your petition for custody.” The judge paused for a moment as if she was collecting her thoughts. Drew cast a look over at Lola, seeing the young woman’s eyes full of unshed tears. Drew’s heart was beginning to sink as well, but she refused to let the judge see her emotions. Setting a determine stare on her face, Drew looked back at the judge. “Having said all that, Sheriff Bailey and Ms. Emerson-Bailey, I am granting legal guardianship to Drew Bailey effective immediately.” Both Drew and Lola gasped as the judge continued. “Sheriff Bailey, you have proven yourself to an excellent provider for these children thus far, even putting your life on the line to protect them from harm. Between you and Dr. Johnston, you have allowed me to see that your feelings for these kids as well as Lola extend far beyond what some parents have for their own flesh and blood. You have taken this role seriously since day one according to the interviews of your family and friends, and you have demonstrated to my satisfaction your commitment to the well-being of these three children, so from this moment forward Jack, Libby, and Emma will have two legal parents, Lola Emerson-Bailey retaining her rights as the biological mother, but you, Drew Bailey, having the rights and responsibilities of their legal guardian. Your petition is granted. Case dismissed.”

Without even thinking about it, Lola threw her arms around Drew’s neck, hugging and kissing her frantically as the reality settled. “We did it, Drew. We really did it.”

Drew smiled demurely, allowing the blonde her moment of excitement. “Yes, we did, Lola. Come on. Let’s go get our children and celebrate.” she stated taking her wife by the hand and leading her from the courtroom. As soon as they cleared the doors, Drew dropped Lola’s hand and moved to where Melissa was standing waiting to hear the verdict. “Thank you for coming today, Melissa. Your testimony made a difference.”

“Glad to have been of help, Drew. It means a lot to Lola.”

“It means a lot to both of us even though things are not going they way she wished them to with us.”

“She told me you had moved out. Drew, it’s going to take time to get back to the way things were. You really shouldn’t be making moves in haste.”

“Thanks for the advice, but I know what I’m doing, Melissa. The time away has been good for me. I’ve started to remember some things.”

“That’s great. Every memory recovered is one more piece of your life restored. Hopefully it’ll all come back to you eventually.”

“We’re having a little celebration back at the ranch, Melissa. We would love it if you could come.”

“It would be my pleasure. Thank you, Drew.”

The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly. While Drew played with her children, Lola entertained their guests. However once everyone had left the party, leaving the two of them alone, they didn’t speak directly as they sat next to each other on the floor with the kids. When it was bedtime, Drew helped Lola give the children their baths and tuck them in before they found themselves alone in the family room.

Lola looked at Drew who she knew was only pretending to be engrossed in the tv to avoid conversation. Even though she knew Drew was only acting, Lola had felt so close to her during the hearing. Drew had gone out of her way to give her emotional and physical support, making Lola’s heart ache at what they once shared. “Drew, I want to thank you for all that you did today. You really are a born actress I guess. You nearly had me convinced that everything was fine between us.” she mentioned.

“I told you I would do whatever it took for the kids, and I did. I knew we had to look like we were really together. It was a means to an end, Lola.”

Lola gave a nod as she tried to retain her composure. “Well, thank you anyway. Now I can be assured that our children will always be safe if anything should ever happen to one of us.”

“That’s why I did it.”

A moment passed before Lola tried again to get the older woman to talk. “Listen, Drew. Jack is going to be starting school in a few weeks. I was thinking that maybe we could both take him on his first day. I know he’s a little anxious about it.”

“Okay. That’s fine with me. I’d like that.” Drew answered still not opening up at all.

“Drew, please. I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Even if we aren’t going to be a couple any more, we still should at least be friends for the sake of the children. Don’t you think?” Lola inquired in exasperation.

Drew looked at the young woman. Giving a small nod, she conceded, “You’re probably right. They’ll begin to notice something wrong if we don’t try harder.”

“If you don’t try harder, Drew. I feel like I’m out on this limb alone. Give me something to work with.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do here, Lola. I’m really uncomfortable around you, knowing what you want from me and that it’s an impossibility.”

“I guess I understand, but we’re still going to have to try to move beyond that, both of us are. I’ll do my best to stop trying to see you as the woman I love, but you have to stop seeing me as your enemy. I am not some sort of vixen who coerced you into marrying me in the first place even though that’s the way you’re making me feel. Even though you don’t remember it, we did love each other at one point enough to believe that we could have a marriage, and furthermore we believed that it would last forever, or else we wouldn’t have done it in the first place, not to mention added children to the mix. No one could convince you to do something you didn’t want to do in the first place. I know you know that much about yourself, Drew. Things have changed now much to my disappointment, but we both have to deal with that. As much as it hurts me, I have no choice but to let go of the best thing that ever happened to me, because you refuse to believe in us. You want me to give up on you, Drew, but I’m having a hard time with that. However, I will do my best to respect your wishes, but I need you to do that same for me. I need you to respect that fact that this is a difficult situation at best. The children need us to get along regardless of how we feel about each other, and I need you to at least pay enough attention to me, so we can get along amiably. I’m tired of being ignored by you, Drew, because you’re uncomfortable. Well, guess what? You’re not the only one. Do you think it’s easy for me to sit here knowing how you feel about me?”

“I guess I never thought about it that way. I’m sorry, Lola. I will try to do better with this.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, Drew. Now that the hearing is over, I wanted to talk to you about something else important regarding the kids.”

“What’s that?”

“I know we agreed that you would continue to support the kids and me until I got a job, but there is a distinct possibility that even with my getting a job, it could cost us both more money with trying to find full-time childcare for three kids. Are you prepared to deal with that issue? The reason I quit my job in the first place was because neither of us liked the idea of having strangers look after our children.”

“Yeah, I don’t like that thought. It would be better if one of us could look after them.”

“I agree, so that begs the question of which one of us is going to do it. You are too busy with your career to take a leave of absence for the kids. You wouldn’t have anything to go back to, Drew.”

“That’s true. I’d have to retire, and I don’t want to do that. If you didn’t mind, you could always keep looking after them.”

“I don’t mind. In fact I enjoy it, but are you prepared to support me financially for the next five years until Emma enters school? You really will have to pay for everything, except mortgage or rent. Mom has already said I could move into the old place when you’re ready to take the ranch back, but I would need help with everything else.”

“I know, but I don’t see another way around it, Lola. If that’s what I have to do to ensure my kids’ well-being, I’m prepared to keep supporting you and them for as long as it takes. I do feel a sense of responsibility to you too, Lola. I will take care of you.”

“Thank you, and when the time comes that I can return to work, will you allow me to take my job back as the office manager at the stables?”

“I don’t see why not? Horses are your life. You should do what you enjoy.” Drew replied.

Lola looked at her quizzically. “How did you know horses were my life? I mean it’s true, but where did that come from?”

Drew shrugged. “I just knew. Well, I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”.


Chapter 9

Life between Lola and Drew began to settle into a routine over the course of the next few months. Even though Drew couldn’t remember her life as Lola’s wife, the two of them had formed a congenial but tentative friendship. Drew spent all her free time with the children, allowing Lola time of her own to relax and enjoy some of her forgotten hobbies such as riding. One afternoon Drew had picked Jack up from school and took him home to find a strange car in the driveway. Escorting Jack into the house, Drew was surprised to find Lola and Melissa having lunch at the kitchen table.

“Hey, Drew. How are you?” Melissa greeted with a smile.

“Hi, Melissa. What surprise to see you here.” she stated looking to Lola.

“Oh, Lola was kind enough to invite me to go riding with her this afternoon. She’s convinced she can turn me into an equestrian.”

Seeing the uncertainty on Drew’s face, Lola asked, “You were planning on staying with the kids this afternoon, weren’t you? Did I get that wrong?”

“No. I was going to stay here. You two go have a good time. Don’t worry about us.” nonchalantly Drew replied feeling an emotion that she could’ve sworn was jealously strike her at the thought of Lola spending time with the attractive doctor. Dismissing it she continued into the family room where she and Jack promptly started to play. She barely even looked up when Lola announced that they were leaving and would return in a few hours.

Drew didn’t give Lola any thought until Jack had been put down for his own nap. Since neither of the girls were awake yet, Drew just straightened up the house before sitting out on the back deck to enjoy the fall weather. She let her thoughts wander to Lola and Melissa. Even though no one had said anything, Drew sensed that Melissa had more than friendly interest in the blonde. Drew thought about what she knew about Melissa. The doctor was in her mid-thirties and beautiful. Lola had made her admiration known for the young brunette on several occasions, making Drew wonder if their was a budding romance between them. Drew admitted to herself that she could see Lola with the doctor, but the thought of Melissa living with her children made her uneasy. She had never considered that Lola may find someone else, potentially making the children have a three-parent household, which made her concerned. To her knowledge the kids still believed that Drew was living there so to introduce a new adult into the equation might confuse them. Drew was still contemplating the situation when she saw Lola and Melissa riding back toward the barn triggering a recollection of a time when Lola had gone riding with another brunette.

Drew noticed Lola and Jess, her friend from college, coming back from their ride.She and Kate were setting the table and placing the food down, when Kate suggested, “Why don’t you run down to the barn, and tell them it’s ready? I’ll finish this.”

Drew sauntered down to the barn to do Kate’s bidding. The barn door was open enough that Drew could step through without opening it further. As she rounded the corner to the row in which Lola stabled her horse, she stopped short in shock. Lola was leaning against the stall door, her arms around the young brunette’s shoulders. Jess was leaning into her, and they were exchanging a methodical kiss. Drew felt her stomach lurch. They didn’t notice her presence, so she quickly retreated back to the barn door. Even though she felt pain searing through her, she knew she couldn’t let on that she knew anything. Slamming the barn door open as loud as she could, she announced herself. This time as she rounded the corner, the girls were just casually standing next to each other looking at Lola’s horse. Drew saw Lola cast a guilty glance at Jess, but she didn’t comment on it. “I just wanted to tell you that supper was ready, so hurry up.” Drew turned and left without waiting for a response.

Drew’s heart seized in her chest and she suddenly found it difficult to breath. Taking to her feet she began to pace as she pondered the memory that had just come back to her. She had learned from Lola and Kate that she had Lola had broken up when Lola was a freshman in college, so Drew wondered if she had remembered the moment of catching her in the act of cheating that Lola had previously confessed to. The pain associated with the recollection was almost too much for Drew to bear as she realized she had to have cared a great deal for the blonde to be hurt so badly. Hastily the knowledge that she had loved the young woman enough to be crushed swept over her, and Drew wasn’t prepared to deal with the fact that she truly may have had romantic feelings toward Lola at one time. Trying to regain her composure, Drew convinced herself just because she may have felt that way once held no bearing on their current relationship. She didn’t have those kinds of feelings toward the blonde presently, which calmed her almost immediately.

When Lola and Melissa returned from the barn, Lola sensed something amiss with Drew instantly. “Hey, what’s up? You look like something is bothering you.” Lola mentioned with concern.

Drew shook her head trying to clear her thoughts as she answered, “No, I’m fine. Just taking it easy. You know how I am. I can’t stand to sit still too long.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Lola joked patting Drew on the shoulder.

“So, how was the ride?” Drew inquired of Melissa as the doctor took a seat at the table next to her.

“Great. Lola was right. It’s a great sport. I can’t wait to go again.”

Lola poured to drinks and brought them to the table, passing one to Melissa as she took a seat. Drew was quiet as the two women conversed, but she kept sneaking small glances at Lola throughout the conversation, realizing Lola could talk easier to the doctor than her. Feeling like an outsider, Drew excused herself from the room.

“What’s up with her?” Melissa asked when they were alone.

Lola shrugged. “I have no idea, but she didn’t look right. I wonder if she remembered something.”

Drew was quiet the rest of the evening, making Lola curious as to what was going on in her head, but she didn’t ask. Instead she and Drew went about their roles of caring for the children until it was bedtime. Then as soon as that was complete Drew excused herself for the night. Going back to her place, Drew sat out on the back porch and closed her eyes, willing any memories to come to her. Abruptly she was struck with one of Kate and her on that very porch.

During the party Drew helped Kate play hostess, but as the group gravitated to the back field, they stayed behind on the porch.

“That necklace you gave her is really something, Drew. You shouldn’t have.” Kate mentioned.

“Well, I gave Natalie a pair of diamond earrings and roses for her eighteenth birthday, and I remember Lola saying that’s what she wanted too, so I delivered. By the way, did her roses arrive?”

“Yeah. They’re in her room, so she hasn’t seen them yet. They are stunning.”

“Good.” Drew answered quietly.

“Drew, are you all right? You seem upset.”

Drew shrugged. “I’ve just got a problem that I need to work out on my own.”

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Kate inquired staring at her with concern.

Drew crumbled under the gaze. “Lola asked me to have sex with her.” she blurted out under the strain of Kate’s eyes.

“What?” Kate asked in shock.

“Lola told me that she was glad I was a lesbian, because she wanted a sexual relationship with me.” Drew stated slowly.

“I’m sorry. Did I hear you correctly? You just said Lola asked you to go to bed with her?” Drew nodded. “What did you say, Drew?” Drew paused long enough for Kate’s eyes to shoot open. “Do I want to know what’s about to come out of your mouth, Drew Bailey?” she asked with controlled hostility.

“I told her no, Kate. After all, she was only seventeen at the time, and she is your daughter.”

“I have to talk to her.”

“I haven’t told you everything yet.”

“There’s more? I’m not sure I could take it, Drew.”

“I know, but I have to tell you. Ever since the assault, every time we’re alone together, she has tried to seduce me. She’s been everything from subtle to obvious, but the fact is she is determined to have me.”

“Drew, I’m so sorry. This must be awkward for you. I’ll talk to her about it.”

“No don’t. I don’t want her to know that I told you. I don’t want her to resent me for the rest of her life. For now, I think I have it under control.” she lied.

Kate saw through it. “You’re keeping something from me, Drew, and I’m afraid to ask what. Have you taken her? Have you given her what she thinks she wants?”

“No! I haven’t had sex with her, Kate!” emphatically Drew emphasized. “But...”

“But? But what? What have you done with my child?”

“She’s gotten into kissing me. At first I kept trying to stop her, but she keeps coming. I haven’t been able to stop her with my words.”

Kate scowled at her. “I want to know everything, Drew! Tell me, or I’ll get it out of Lola!”

“Okay. Today she came on to me with another oral assault, and I couldn’t stop her. I caved to it. I’ve felt so horrible since it’s happened. I feel like I betrayed you.”

Kate’s eyes were shooting daggers at Drew. “Let me see if I have this right? You have touched my daughter sexually? You have had your hands on her in intimate ways? That’s what you’re saying, right?”

Drew could hear the anger in Kate’s voice. “Katherine, please don’t be upset.”

“Upset? I’m a little more than upset, Drew! I’m so angry with you, I don’t know what to do! She’s a child and even worse, my child!”

“She’s an adult by law.” Drew feebly pointed out.

“I don’t care about your law, Drew! You can take it and shove it up your ass for all I care!” Drew moved to touch her arm, but Kate swatted Drew’s hands away. “Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again! I trusted you!”

“Kate, I’m sorry. You have every right to hate me right now.” Drew stated beginning to feel Kate’s friendship slipping away from her grasp.

“Hate you? Oh, I hate you all right!”

Drew gulped holding back tears. “Maybe I should just go. I’ll just tell Lola good bye and then I’ll be on my way.” Drew said standing.

“No!” Kate yelled jumping from her chair. “You stay away from her! Don’t go near her! You don’t see her! You don’t talk to her, and you sure as hell don’t ever touch her, or I swear I’ll make you suffer!”

Meekly Drew nodded. “Fine. Good bye, Katherine. I love you.”

Drew scurried down from the porch and walked around to the front of the house where her truck was parked. Leaning into the driver’s side window, Drew wept uncontrollably, mourning the turn of events. She had no idea how long she had stood there, and to her it didn’t matter. All that did matter was the fact that her beloved friendship with Kate was gone. She never even heard a car pulling up behind her but felt a disorienting blow to the back of the head. She tried to recover but felt a punch to her kidney, shooting pain throughout her entire body. Her assailant grabbed her by the shoulder to turn her around. Her eyes were so blurred by tears and the knock to the head that she couldn’t see the punch to the jaw. There was an audible crack as Drew went face first into the window before falling to the ground. Gaining enough sense, Drew reached for her gun in her side holster but found it empty.

“Looking for something?” the familiar male voice mocked.

“Steve?” Drew mumbled through a broken jaw. Then she heard the sound of gun fire as pain pierced through her chest.

“Oh God. I ruined my relationship with Kate.” Drew mumbled. “How could I have done that? What kind of hold did you have on me, Lola?” she asked aloud. “How could you ever forgive me, Kate?” Just then another memory struck.

As she came up the sliding glass door on the porch, she saw Kate standing in the kitchen draining the end of a bottle of vodka. Drew knocked on the door but was ignored. She then tired to open it but found it locked. Banging louder Drew yelled, “Katherine, open up.” Drew saw Kate look over at the lock but didn’t acknowledge that Drew was there. Suddenly Drew caught a glimpse of what was in Kate’s other hand as it came off the counter. Drew’s eyes grew wide in fright as she noticed Paul’s .45. “Katherine, let me in or I’ll break down this door!” Drew yelled. Once again she was ignored, so Drew took a running start at the door barreling through it with her shoulder and stumbling onto the floor. When she rolled over to rise, she found the gun pointed between her eyes.

“Dammit, Drew! I said 5:00, not 4:30! You’ve ruined everything!”

“Katherine, I don’t know what you’re about to do, but I suggest you put down the gun. Killing me will only make it worse.”

“I don’t want to kill you, Drew! I was supposed to be dead by 5:00! You were supposed to find my body, but you ruined it!” Drew gulped. “Doesn’t matter, though! I’ll be dead soon enough!” she screamed taking a few steps back from Drew.

“Kate, have you taken something that I should know about?” Drew’s eyes scanned the counter and saw several bottles of pills. “Okay, Kate, I’m going to stand up now.” Drew slowly got to her feet. “Will you please put down the gun?”

“No! I don’t want you trying anything either!”

“Katherine, you don’t want to die. Think about your family, children, friends. Think of the pain it’s going to cause them to know you’re gone. Your daughters are too young to be without a mother.” Drew stepped toward her. “Please, Katherine. I love you. Let me help you.”

“I can’t go on, Drew. It hurts too much.” Drew noticed her body start to sway. “I’m so tired.” she mumbled lowering the gun to her side.

“I know. Why don’t you sit down?” Drew suggested stepping to her. Kate didn’t move, so Drew pulled the gun away as she collapsed into Drew’s arms. Immediately Drew put her on the floor and called for an ambulance.

“Drew, I don’t feel good.” Kate mumbled incoherently.

“I know, sweetie. Help’s on the way. Hang in there. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Grasp her head in her hands, Drew frowned as a headache came out of nowhere from all the recollections surging through her mind at once. “Too much! It’s too much!” she cried out, realizing that last one was of a suicide attempt that Kate had made in the house she now occupied.

Going into the house, Drew took some aspirin as she tried to clear all the thoughts from her head. Even though things were coming back to her, she still couldn’t make sense of them. Picking up her guitar, Drew found solace in playing well into the night before falling asleep in exhaustion on the couch. The following morning Drew was aroused from sleep by a vision in her mind of she and Kate in the living room.

“You want something to drink?” Kate asked from the kitchen.

“Sure. I’m going to start a fire if that’s all right.” Drew answered.

Kate entered a few minutes later. Drew had Kate’s favorite jazz CD on the stereo with all the lights off. Kate laughed at the ambiance. “Always were the romantic.” she commented extending a bottle of wine and an opener to Drew. “I’m going to change into something more comfortable.”

A few minutes later Kate came back in. Drew noted the flowing autumn frock that Kate had slipped on. Handing her a glass of wine, Drew raised her glass. “To Lola, the most beautiful queen our school has ever seen.”

“To Lola.” Kate replied sipping her wine.

Setting her glass down, Drew extended a hand to Kate. “Dance?” she asked.

“I don’t think we’ve ever danced together before.” Kate mentioned taking Drew’s hand.

Leaning to Kate’s ear, Drew whispered, “There’s a first time for everything, Katherine.”

“What are you wearing?” Kate asked feeling the unusual hardness of Drew’s chest.

“Bulletproof vest.”

“It’s uncomfortable. Take it off.” Kate demanded.

Drew looked down into Kate’s hazel eyes as she untucked her shirt. Kate’s hands joined Drew’s in working open the buttons. Neither spoke as they stared deeply into each others eyes before being drawn into a gentle kiss.

The shirt was soon forgotten as their mouths communicated latent needs. Drew smiled to herself, wondering if that had been a dream or a real memory of her best friend. Regardless it left Drew feeling amorous at the thought of being sexual with Kate. Concentrating Drew tried to recall any other memories of Kate together and grinned as their first intimate encounter came to her mind.

Raising a glass in toast, Kate whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Drew.”

Silence prevailed for awhile as they drank their champagne and watched the fire as they listened to soft music. Finally Drew extended her hand to Kate in invitation to dance. “You look absolutely beautiful, Katherine, and you smell incredible.” Drew whispered as their eyes met.

“Drew, there’s only one thing missing to make this perfect.” she mentioned softly.

“What’s that?”

Kate said nothing as she brought her hand up to Drew’s face. She tucked some of Drew’s graying hair behind her ear before her hand moved to cup Drew’s cheek. Drew saw the answer in Kate’s eyes. Slowly she leaned down and gently claimed Kate’s lips in a tender kiss. It was full of softness at first, but just as Drew was pulling away, Kate’s tongue licked Drew’s lower lip before sliding into Drew’s moaning mouth. It left them both breathless momentarily.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Drew hoarsely inquired.

“Yes.”

“And you’re sure?”

Kate stared deeply into Drew’s eyes. “I’m sure. Twenty-four years has been enough of a wait, don’t you think?”

Drew’s heart quickened as she realized what Kate was saying. “Yes, it has.” Drew answered.

They began to kiss again, and Kate pushed off Drew’s jacket before beginning on the bottons of her shirt as Drew’s fingers found the zipper of Kate’s dress. The foreplay was gentle and methodical. Once Kate was down to her undergarments, Drew’s hands came up to cup Kate’s breasts through her silk bra as her head dipped to taste the flesh of Kate’s cleavage.

Kate whimpered softly. “Drew, Drew, take me to bed.” she begged.

Drew hoisted Kate up, so Kate could wrap her legs around Drew’s waist. They continued to explore each others mouths as Drew ascended the stairs to the bedroom. Drew laid Kate against the bed. “May I turn the light on? I want to see you, Katherine.”

“Yes.”

Drew turned the bedside lamp on low and gazed over at Kate lying there, wantonly staring at her. Kate sat up keeping her eyes glued to Drew’s. Her hands worked open her bra before slowly pulling it from her shoulders, baring herself to Drew for the first time. Drew sucked in a sharp breath. “You are...wow. I never knew you still looked like that after all these years. You’re... magnificent.”

Taking one of Drew’s hands, Kate guided it to one of her soft mounds, seductively whispering, “Touch me, Drew.”

Drew gave her a dreamy smile. “Anything you desire is yours, darling Katherine.” she replied pushing Kate down into the mattress.

Moaning her best friend’s name, Drew drifted back into slumber until a ringing phone woke her a second time. “Morning.” she mumbled beginning to stretch.

“Well, I didn’t expect to wake you, Drew. You’re usually up by now. Do you have the morning off?” Kate inquired.

“No. I had a hard night last night, so I just slept in a little. What’s up?”

“Not much. I was just calling to check on you. It had been a couple of days. I talked to Lola yesterday, and she mentioned that you didn’t look to good. Are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah, I’m doing all right. I had a lot of things come back to me yesterday, and it really threw me for a loop I guess.”

“Really? What did you remember?” Kate asked in excitement.

Drew grinned into the phone. Dropping her voice to a sexy timbre, she replied, “Making love to a beautiful woman in a red dress on Valentine’s Day.”

Even though she couldn’t see her friend, she knew Kate had to be blushing. “Oh. Anything else?” she asked, choosing not to ask for details on that memory.

“Yeah, there were some other things. I’d like to talk to you about them in person if that’s all right. They all involve you. Could we met for lunch today?”

“Sure. You want me to come out there?”

“That would be great. I’m planning on being in the office most of the day, so if you could just stop by the station.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you about one. Does that work for your schedule?”

“Yep. I’ll see you then, Kate. I’ve got to get going.”

“All right. See you then.”

When Kate got to Drew’s office, Drew took them over to a small café for lunch. After placing their orders, Drew began, “As I said earlier, I remembered some things yesterday and this morning, but I have no idea where they fit into my life. I was hoping you could help with that.”

“I’ll try. What was the first memory?”

“Well, this morning I recalled us making love for the first time. That was incredible. Glad that one came back to me.” she joked.

Kate gave a shy smile. “Well, that took place after you and Lola had broken up, so that would’ve been the second semester of her freshman year. We actually started dating from that point, and you proposed to me shortly after that.”

“I see. So that would’ve made me about thirty-eight then?”

Kate nodded. “Yeah. Sounds about right. What else?”

“There was also a moment of dancing with you in your and Paul’s living room by firelight. There was something about Lola becoming Homecoming queen or something. We were making out.”

Again a flush came to Kate’s cheeks. “Yeah. I do remember that as well. That was Lola’s senior year of high school. You two hadn’t started dating then, and you and I had been feeling each other out a little, but we decided that night after Lola and her friends walked in on us that it would be best not to pursue anything. At the time I was still mourning Paul, and I didn’t think it was fair to either of us. Was there anything else?”

“Actually, yes there was, and these three are more disturbing to me. It was Lola’s eighteenth birthday, and you and I were fighting about Lola. Apparently I had done something with Lola. I couldn’t gather exactly what had happened, but you and I got in a huge fight, and you threw me out. Then I ended up getting shot.”

“Not one of my finest moments.” Kate mentioned. “That’s the first time you admitted to me that Lola had stated her sexual interest in you, and you had fallen to her wiles.”

“You mean I had sex with her?” Drew inquired in confusion.

“No. You didn’t have sex with Lola until Valentine’s Day of her senior of high school.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because we fought about that too, and even temporarily stopped speaking to each other, but what came back to you was the day Steve shot you. He was one of your farmhands, and he tried to rape Lola.”

“Oh God. He didn’t, did he?” Drew asked with fear.

“No, he did not, because you came to her rescue. He was arrested but out on bail when he shot you. You almost died, Drew, and that’s when Lola told me how she felt about you. That was basically the moment your relationship with Lola began, her eighteenth birthday.”

“Interesting. I’ve got one more for you, and if I tell you about it, I want you to promise not to tell Lola.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want. What is it?”

Drew paused to clear her throat. “I recalled Lola kissing a girl in the barn and it destroying me emotionally.”

Kate smiled at her friend. “That’s wonderful, Drew. You’re finally starting to remember your relationship with her. That was Lola’s freshman year of college. You broke up over that.”

“Yeah, I know. Lola told me about it. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for the feelings that accompanied that memory. I can’t even describe the pain I felt when that came back to me, like my heart had been ripped from my chest.”

“I know, Drew. You were crushed. You ran off to a bar and got drunk, and I had to come get you. The following morning you broke up with Lola. It was a terrible time for you emotionally, Drew. I think you had honestly believed at that point that Lola was the one, and it hurt me to see both of you suffering. Out of curiosity why don’t you want me to tell Lola?”

“I just don’t want her to read into it is all. Just because I’m starting to remember her then doesn’t mean I will ever remember our marriage or the feelings we supposedly shared. I have no feeling for her beyond friendship, so I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.”

“All right. I won’t say anything right now, but you can’t expect me to keep this a secret forever. She would want to know that you’re recovering your memories.”

“I’ll tell her, Katherine. I’m just not ready to deal with her like that yet.”

“What was the last memory that came back to you?”

Drew looked her friend deeply in the eye and reached for her hand. “I remember you trying to take your own life with pills and alcohol. You had a gun, with which I assume you were going to shoot yourself, but somehow I arrived to the scene before you did, and you were madder than hell about it. Why did you try to do that?”

“That was the one year anniversary of Paul’s death, Drew. I was in mourning, and I was emotionally dead inside. You saved my life that day, Drew. It’s because of you, we shared all those wonderful things that developed between us, and it’s because of you that I met Jim. Had I died life would’ve been very different for you and the girls. I’ve always been glad that I didn’t succeed.”

There was a pause in conversation as their food arrived. Trying to be subtle and change the direction of their talk, Drew inquired, “May I ask you something? When I was in a coma, how did Melissa and Lola interact?”

Kate gave her a quizzical look asking, “Why are you interested in that? She was a fabulous doctor to you, and she went out of her way to be there for Lola. I truly think Dr. Johnston is one of the finest doctors I’ve ever seen. Why do you ask?”

Drew attempted to be nonchalant as she stated, “It just seems to me that Melissa might like Lola as more than a friend. That’s all.”

“What if she does? How is that any of your concern, Drew? You’ve made it clear you have no interest in Lola that way yourself. Melissa is nice woman, and she treats Lola well. If you and Lola can’t work things out, I’d like to see Lola get on with her life by being with someone else. You’re not jealous, are you?” challenged Kate.

“Of course not. Lola can see whoever she wants, but I am concerned about my children. I don’t want them to be confused. As far as I know, they still think Lola and I are together. It would be traumatic for them to see her with someone else intimately. They are too young for that. They wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, if you’re really distressed over it, you should talk to her. The two of you are going to have to deal with each for the rest of your lives, because of these children, so you better get used to sensitive chats. She needs to know where you stand. There may come a time in which you or she may want to be with someone else. You’re going to have to figure out how the kids will play into that. This is just like any divorce. Compromises will have to be made. You both gave up your freedom by getting married, and just because you’re calling it quits, doesn’t mean you get it back. You’ve got three children that are the priority. You and Lola’s thoughts and feelings should be secondary to them.” Kate took a sip of her tea before stating, “Personally, Drew, I just think you’re scared. You’re scared of her finding someone else, because you might come to realize that you really did love her, but I also think you’re just as scared of realizing that you still love her.”

“I don’t, Katherine, not like that, not like a lover. I’m still stuck on you that way.” Drew teased with a sexy grin.

“Drew, I’m flattered, but you’re going to have to get over that. Not only are you married to my daughter, I’m married. Even if you were to divorce Lola and I divorced Jim, we could never go back to way it once was, because you still were married to her. It was weird enough the first time. I wouldn’t do it again. Talk about confusing to your kids, having Grandma in a relationship with Mommy. I would never do it. There are so many levels of why that’s impossible. Surely you can see that.”

“I know. Part of my mind tells me it’s impossible, and for the kids alone, I wouldn’t really try to do it, but there’s just that part of me, I guess it’s just the frame of mine of being stuck in a place where I’m still mostly twenty something years old, that still gravitates toward you, Katherine. When that memory of us came back to me, it about knocked me for a loop. It was hot. I just want to know what it was like between us, Kate. Please tell me. What were we like as a couple?”

Kate sighed at the request. She didn’t normally like thinking about her sexual relationship with Drew too much, but knowing it was important to her best friend, she relented. Leaning in toward the sheriff, she whispered, “Drew, what we shared was nothing short of amazing. You opened my eyes to a world I never really knew existed. I mean I knew about lesbianism. After all you have been my best friend forever, but what I thought I knew and what was out there was completely different. You touched me in ways no one ever had and probably never will again. What we had was so loving and tender but also torrid and passionate. The sex was undeniably the best I ever had, because you really brought me out of my shell. You encouraged me to be experimental and wild. I mean some of the things you convinced to do with you sexually were things I never would’ve imagined doing with anyone else. It was incredible between us sexually, and the other facets of our relationship were easy as well, because we had been so close so long, but the fact that we had to hide from our families did make it difficult. With Lola being in love with you, I felt guilty for our relationship, even as much as I was enjoying myself. When I felt you pulling away from me, the summer before her senior year of college, I knew what we shared was coming to an end. I couldn’t give you everything you wanted, Drew. You wanted children, and I didn’t want to be pregnant again, but more than that, you really were in love with Lola. There was just no way that we could go on.”

“Did you hate me for that?” hesitantly Drew inquired.

“No, not at all. There was a part of me that knew when we got involved that it wouldn’t last. I mean after all you had already been with my daughter in a relationship, even had sex with her, but I just so wanted to know your touch once. Fortunately once turned into two years. I always appreciated that opportunity to be with you that way, Drew, even if it was twenty-five years later than you would’ve liked.”

Drew nodded as she took all the information in. “So, we weren’t in love?” she clarified.

“No. We loved each other deeply, but we were not in love.”

“Then why did we get engaged?”

“Because we both wanted the other to be happy and thought we could provide that. We were going to be content to settle for each other. In the end I’m glad we didn’t.”

“Well, thank you for sharing that with me. I know that talking about us that way makes you uncomfortable. You really have shed some light on the situation for me.”

“Then it was worth it, Drew. I hope you realize that Lola was truly the most important woman in your life, even then. She was the one you were meant to be with. You reluctantly recognized it then, and I hope in time you come to know it again.”

Continued: Chapter 10