~ Vows of the Heart ~
by Alex Tryst
Copyright August 2004
This tale follows "Love in Photographs", "Georgia on My Mind", and "Stick to the Script". This is the fourth and final story in the New York Series.
As always, comments and feedback is welcome at
alextryst@hotmail.com.
Part 3
That December when Katrina and her cousins got out of school for their Winter Break, Sarah thought it was a good idea to take their kids to the mountain house in Montana for the holidays. The ten-year-old had been driving her crazy since Jamie had been away on location but hoped being with Jamie for Christmas would help Katrina. With that idea in mind, she also invited Samantha and Doug to join them with their children for the holiday.
By the time Jamie had arrived at their house, it had been decorated for the season. She smiled to herself as she got out of her rented SUV and started for the door. Things had been difficult since she had been away shooting in California. She knew Sarah and Katrina had been getting in daily fights, during which Samantha had served as a buffer, so she hoped she could give her little wife a break from the chaos. Heading up to the door with her bags slung over her shoulder, she dug out her keys and unlocked the door. As soon as she had it open, she heard voices coming from the kitchen.
"Anybody home?" she called gladly as she dropped her things in the entry and made her way towards the sound.
"Mom!" Katrina yelled excitedly followed by Eve's voice doing the same.
Jamie smiled as her two daughters came racing around the corner for her. She bent to hug them. "How are my precious girls?" she asked, kissing them both on the top of their heads before each of them took a hand to lead her the rest of the way to the kitchen. Coming in to the eating area, she smiled at Sarah, Samantha, and Doug. The brunette woman came to her wife and slipped her arms around the shorter woman. "It's good to be home," she whispered as she leaned down to kiss her wife passionately. However, even though she felt Sarah participate, there was definite coldness in the blonde's touch, making her wonder what she had done to be given such an icy reception.
"The kids are glad you are here," Sarah answered when the kiss ended.
Breaking away from her wife, the brunette moved to hug the other two adults as well as her niece and nephew. After initial greetings, she inquired, "Where's Stephen?"
"He fell asleep a little while ago. We all were just about to settle down for bed actually when you arrived," Sarah answered. "They have been staying up just to see you."
Jamie nodded, seeing that all the kids were in fact in their pajamas. "Well, I wish I had been here sooner. Things have been so hectic on the set, but I'm glad to have a the next week with all of you."
"So are we, Mom," Katrina stated.
"Well, I guess it's time to get to bed, huh, Eve? Why don't I tuck you in?" Jamie suggested, picking up her five-year-old. "Come on, Katrina."
"Yeah, let's go, kids. Everyone up to bed now," Doug stated to his own children.
The older actress tucked her daughters into bed and then bid Doug and Samantha good night before heading back downstairs for her own baggage that she'd left in the foyer. Going back to the master bedroom, she dropped her things on the bed and began to unpack as she heard Sarah in the bathroom.
A few minutes later though, the blonde appeared wearing a scowl. Looking at her in confusion, Jamie questioned, "What's going on, Sarah? What have I done to get such a greeting from you after months apart?"
"Don't even play games with me, Jamie. You know exactly what you did. You cheated on me."
"What? Where did you get that idea? I did no such thing," the taller woman countered.
"You want me to prove you a liar, Jamie? Here," she stated with a cool distant demeanor, picking a magazine off the night table and thrusting it at her wife.
Jamie looked down at it. She saw herself on the cover with two of Hollywood's most notorious harlots. The older woman shrugged. "So, there's an article of me in 'The Advocate' as Icon of the Year. So what? What does that prove?"
"You're on the cover with Savannah and Augusta Gates, Jamie, the whores of Hollywood."
"So? They came in second place for their activism. The magazine wanted us all on the cover. What's your point?"
"I heard rumors that after this shoot you got really cozy with the Gates girls, Jamie. In fact you were seen out partying with them that night."
"Yeah, I was. So what? Just because I go out partying when I'm on location does not make me a cheater, Sarah."
"Word got back to me that you and Savannah were doing more than just partying, Jamie! People saw you making out with her!"
"Well, it's not true! I wasn't making out with Savannah! She's straight for God's sake!"
"Like that means anything, Jamie! We all know about your reputation with the straight crowd! Besides, everyone knows that Savannah and Augusta travel on both sides of the street, Jamie! I know you even dated Savannah a few years ago! I'm not stupid!"
"Look! Whoever told you Savannah and I were making out has got it wrong! I did no such thing! Why would I? I'm already the envy of the world by having you! Why would I try to ruin that? It doesn't make sense!"
Sarah shook her head furiously. "You are such a liar, Jamie!" she screamed, going back to the nightstand. Opening the drawer she pulled out something else and thrust it at her wife. "I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice!"
Jamie looked at what Sarah had in her hand and felt her heart drop into her stomach. Snatching the pile of photos from her wife's hand, she flipped through them. Her night out with the infamous duo was perfectly displayed for her. "What's the meaning of this, Sarah? Did you have me followed? Who took these?" she yelled.
"They came addressed to Katrina in the mail, Jamie! Some sick person sent them to our daughter! The police are looking into it, but that doesn't discount what's in the pictures! Jamie, look at the photos! Do you honestly believe that what you're doing isn't cheating?" Sarah pointedly hollered. "Hell, there is a picture of you and Savannah kissing!"
The tall woman looked the pictures more closely. There was a wide variety of shots from drinking and hanging out with her friends to dancing with the Gates girls provocatively. It was the last photo, however, that left Jamie with incredible guilt. It was outside of the club they had all been to that night. It was a perfect shot of Jamie embraced in a kiss with an unidentifiable blonde woman. By the other people lingering around in the photo though, it was easy to deduce that it was Savannah, and due to the tight tank top Jamie was wearing that perfectly displayed her tattoo, there was no way she could deny that it was her.
Slouching her shoulders and sighing, Jamie quietly said, "It was one kiss, Sarah. We were all leaving the club, and I was about to go get into my car when she pulled me to her and kissed me. I was drunk and so caught off guard that I wasn't able to stop her. By the time I did gain enough of my senses to push her off, it was over. After that I went my way, and she went off with her sister. That's what happened. I didn't make out with her regardless of whatever anyone else said."
The blonde dropped her head as she felt tears flooding over her face. The thought of Jamie with someone else was heart-shattering. "Did you honestly think your behavior was all right, Jamie?" she quietly asked.
"What's wrong with me going out with friends?"
Sarah shook her head. "You don't dance with friends like that, Jamie, and friends don't kiss you when they know you're married. You dated Savannah. You know how she operates. She doesn't care about such things like vows and marriage. If she wants it, she takes it. She wanted you, and you let her take you from me for a night. What you did was totally inappropriate, Jamie, and you've broken my heart," she managed to say, her voice cracking with emotion as she looked up at the woman she loved.
Seeing the pain and tears in her wife's eyes, Jamie felt her own heart tearing into thousands of pieces. Instinctively she tried to reach for the smaller woman, but her gesture was rebuffed. "It didn't mean anything to me, Sarah. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. I don't love or care about anyone but you."
"It might have meant nothing to you, but it's doesn't mean nothing to me. You don't even know how I feel right now. I can't believe I allowed this to happen to me again. First, Robert and now you. I don't know why I keep falling in love with cheaters."
"Oh, for the last time, I didn't cheat, Sarah!" Jamie yelled.
"You kissed another woman, Jamie. That's cheating. I don't care if she did initiate it or that you were drunk or whatever. I don't care what the excuse is. The fact remains that you kissed Savannah Gates. I didn't realize I meant that little to you."
"Are you kidding me? Sarah, you mean everything to me. There is no one else in this world that I would ever want to be with. You're the only one."
"Obviously not, Jamie. You were lured in by another woman. Even if it had started innocently, you know that woman well enough to know what might have happened. You didn't walk away when you had a chance. No, instead you played with the fire, and now I've been burned by your selfish act. The media couldn't wait to get a hold of that juicy tidbit, but I refused to believe it until these photos showed up at our house. I stood by you, denouncing the rumors, but it turns out I was the only one fooled."
Jamie sighed as she looked at Sarah. She didn't know what she could say to take away the pain she had inflicted on the woman she adored more than life. Finally she asked, "So, what happens now, Sarah?"
"I don't know, Jamie. I can't even begin to think about what to do. Right now I just want to go to bed."
"Fine. Let's go to bed. Tomorrow it will all look better," the brunette softly said, reaching for her wife a second time, but again Sarah spurned the touch.
Meeting Jamie's dark eyes, the petite actress said, "I meant I want to go to bed alone, Jamie. This bed is not a place for you any longer."
At those words Jamie felt her own emotions start to slip. Up until that point she had not cried, but hearing her wife excuse her from their marital bed was more than she could bear. Letting her own tears fall, she nodded her head. "All right. If that's the way you want it, Sarah," she whispered hoarsely. Without another word, she went to her bags and picked them up off the bed to shoulder them. "Could I at least stay in the house, so the kids don't suspect what's going on between us?"
"I don't care what you do, Jamie. All I know is that you can't be here with me right now."
Giving a nod in response, Jamie turned and left the room. Once out in the hallway, she started crying harder, but she quickly tried to stop when she saw the door across from the master bedroom open. Samantha just looked at her sympathetically. "Are you all right?"
"I'll be fine," unconvincingly she replied, turning to go down the hall to one of the empty guest rooms. Samantha followed her. When both women were alone behind a closed door, Samantha pulled Jamie into her arms, and the brunette just started crying even harder.
"It's going to be okay, Jamie," soothingly Samantha whispered.
Adamantly the younger woman shook her head. "No. Sarah's hurt, and it's all my fault. She won't forgive me for this."
"Did you really cheat on her?"
"No. I would never intentionally do that to her. I love Sarah more than anything else in this world, Samantha. You know that."
"Then why?"
"I just wasn't thinking. No one has tried to seduce me like that since Sarah and I got together. Everyone's been respectful of our marriage. I was just drunk with my guard down, and someone I shouldn't have trusted got in. It didn't mean anything. It was just a little kiss. It only lasted a few seconds. It was a stupid thing to do. I don't know what to do now though. She's kicked me out of our bed."
"Maybe after some time she can forgive you, Jamie. I don't want this to be the end of your marriage. You two are made for each other. Hopefully both of you can come to comprehend the other's position and come to an understanding."
"I hope so. I couldn't live without her, Samantha. You know that," she whimpered.
"I know. You love her, and she loves you. There's hope for you yet. Don't give up. This is just a tough spot for you, but you two can work it out. I have faith in that."
Jamie nodded. "Thanks, Samantha."
"Try to get some sleep now. Doug promised the kids you two would take them skiing in the morning. You need your rest for that."
Once Jamie was left alone, she put her belongings in the dresser, figuring she would be exiled to this room for the remainder of their visit together. Then she changed for bed and did her nightly bedtime routine before settling down alone. She thought of what had just occurred with her wife. Never in her life did she ever think she would be in this position. She had never cheated on a woman in her life, and even though she felt she hadn't with Sarah, she still felt terrible that the blonde was hurt by her behavior. Jamie knew going to that party with Savannah and Augusta that night was not the wisest choice she had ever made, but she never thought anything would happen with her ex-girlfriend. However, in just a moment in time, the kiss Savannah had planted on her uninvited was coming back to haunt her. Someone had taken the photos of her guilt and had the audacity to send them to her family.
She wondered who was callous enough to do such a thing. Not many people knew exactly where she and Sarah lived, and they made an effort to keep that from the media as well, so it was strange that the photographs had appeared. It was also peculiar that they had been addressed to Katrina. Jamie pondered who knew enough about their family and life to do such a thing, but she came up nameless. Whoever it was obviously intended to put a wedge between she and Sarah somehow, and she wished she knew who it was, so she could rectify the matter of her invaded privacy.
The following morning Jamie was up before the children, so they wouldn't suspect any problems between she and the blonde. Dressing and making her way downstairs, she found the rest of the adults already in the kitchen. Everyone was awkwardly quiet, attempting small talk to break the tension, but it was obviously present between Sarah and Jamie. However, when the kids finally made their way downstairs, it was easier to the brunette actress to forget about the problems with her wife as she paid much needed attention to her three children.
After a large breakfast, Jamie announced, "How about that skiing now? Doug, are you about ready?"
"Sure am. All right, kids. Go get your gear on." Looking at his wife, he asked, "Are you coming with us?"
Samantha shook her head. "You two go. I'll stay with Sarah, so she can have a hand with Stephen and Eve."
"You don't have to do that, Samantha. I will be fine on my own," Sarah protested.
The redhead shook her head. "I'd prefer to stay with you. I'm terrible at skiing," she teased lightly, getting a chuckle out of Doug.
"All right. It's settled then. I just need to get dressed," the tall brunette stated. "Meet you out by the car in a few, Doug, to start packing."
Going back upstairs Jamie quickly put on her ski gear before going outside. She began loading all the children's skis onto the rack on top of the SUV she had rented. A few minutes later Doug was there to assist her with his and Jamie's things. When everyone's equipment was in the SUV, Jamie went to retrieve the kids.
The three elder children said good bye to Sarah and Samantha before running excitedly to the car where Doug was waiting. The brunette kissed both her younger children and hugged Samantha before turning to Sarah. The blonde still looked saddened by what had taken place. Knowing that she probably could not get a kiss out of the woman she loved, Jamie just smiled lovingly at her and caressed the blonde's fair cheek softly. "I love you, Sarah. I always will," she whispered before turning to go. "See you, ladies, this evening," she called over her shoulder just before closing the front door behind her.
There was silence for a moment as Samantha and Sarah just stood looking at one another. Knowing the redhead was holding back, the blonde asked shortly, "What?"
"Nothing, Sarah. It's not my business. I just don't like seeing you and Jamie like this."
"I don't either," the actress mumbled as tears came to her eyes. "I don't know why she did this. I thought I could make her happy. I guess I was just as disillusioned as every other woman that has tried to tame her."
"No you aren't. You are the only one that Jamie loves. You're the only one she wants to be with for the rest of her life. I know her heart."
"She kissed another woman, Samantha," Sarah proclaimed.
"I know, but it was a mistake. She knows that. Can you honestly say you've never made a mistake in a relationship? I mean I hate to point this out, but you had an affair with Jamie while you were still married."
"That was different."
"Was it? Jamie gets herself in situations with women that are out of her control all the time. It's the nature of who she is and the way she looks. I'm not saying she shouldn't be held responsible for her actions. I just think that you should believe her explanation instead of everyone else's. She said Savannah kissed her off guard and uninvited, and it happened so fast it was over before she could even try to stop it. Hasn't that ever happened to you? Haven't there been men in your life that have done that to you?"
Slowly Sarah nodded. "Yeah. That happened to me once. Robert was pissed. They even got in a fight the next time Robert saw him."
"And how did that make you feel? It was wrong, and you didn't initiate it, but you were still involved. Did you feel responsible? Did Robert hold you responsible?"
"I felt bad about it, but I didn't think it was my fault. He threw himself on me, and I couldn't get him off fast enough. I felt violated more than anything."
"Exactly. Do you think it's possible Savannah did the same thing to Jamie?"
Shaking her head Sarah stated, "Somehow I don't think Jamie felt violated by Savannah Gates."
"How do you know? Did you ask, or did you just assume that since Savannah is a beautiful woman that Jamie would be enticed? Just because Savannah is this incredible model and has everything doesn't mean Jamie would want her in any way. She wants you, Sarah."
The blonde shook her head as she began to cry. "It just hurts, Samantha," she confessed.
"I'm sure it does, Sarah, and I'm not saying it shouldn't. I know I would be destroyed if something like this happened to Doug and me, but if Doug was in Jamie's shoes, I would believe him. Not only would I want to but also because I would know he was telling the truth. Don't you have absolute trust in Jamie's honesty? Has she ever lied to you?"
"Never."
"Then why would she now? What do you believe in your heart, Sarah? Do you honestly think she would do this to you?"
Sarah sighed. "No. I don't think she would. Even now when I look in her eyes, I see her love for me. It just hurts me like nothing I've ever known. Not only that, some person felt the need to send those photographs to our house. Someone who shouldn't know where we live does, and that scares me just as much. Our privacy is gone."
"Even more of a reason to lean on Jamie."
"I know, Samantha. It's just going to take some time," the blonde said.
An hour later Jamie and Doug were helping the kids with their ski gear at the slopes. The tall actress wore a ski cap and glasses to try to hide her identity, but they had just gotten in line for a quick warm up run when someone first recognized her. Putting on her professional face, she did her best to seem cordial with people while she and Katrina waited on the ski lift.
When the two of them finally got onto the lift and had started to the top of their run, Katrina looked her mother. "That is so annoying, Mom. Can't you make them stop?"
"I wish I could, Katrina. I can't make people not come up to me. It's just the nature of being a celebrity."
"It sucks," the ten-year-old declared.
Jamie laughed. "Yeah, you're right. It does suck sometimes. Tell me something. Sarah told me last night that someone sent you some pictures of me. Do you know who did that?"
The little girl shook her head. "They were cool though."
"You thought they were cool? Why?" the brunette questioned in confusion.
Katrina shrugged. "You looked like you were having fun. I want to be able to do that someday."
"Well, you still have eleven years before you can do that. Clubs and bars can be fun only if you enjoy them responsibly. Do you understand those pictures are not cool to me, because someone took them without my knowledge?"
"Oh. Well, that makes sense I guess," she answered. Looking back at her mom, she asked, "Are you and Sarah breaking up?"
"What? Where did you get an idea like that, sweetie?" Jamie inquired seriously.
"There was a picture of you kissing someone else, and I heard you two fighting about it last night."
Sighing the actress took a moment to compose her answer. "Katrina, I love Sarah, and I only want to be with Sarah. If she doesn't want to be with me, that's her choice. However, I have no intension of leaving her."
"Then why did you kiss someone else? I thought you weren't supposed to do that."
"That's a hard question to answer, Katrina. You'll understand it when you're older. Sometimes people get involved in things that they shouldn't, and they regret them. That was one such moment for me. However, that doesn't mean I love Sarah any less. To the contrary, I love her more than life itself. You kids and she mean everything to me," Jamie said as they got to the top of their first slope. Getting off the lift, they maneuvered their way off to the side to wait for Doug and his kids, so they could all go together. Then the five of them made a leisurely run down their first slope.
When they reached the bottom again, more people were hovered around the lift where Jamie had been, obviously waiting for her return. She smiled at the group and waved but didn't stop as she and her family moved on to another lift. The next several runs were made with a growing crowd, but Jamie did her best to ignore everyone and focus on the private time with the ones she loved.
Unfortunately though by the time it was early afternoon, the media had been alerted and were on the mountain waiting for moments to catch a photograph of the actress. The brunette did her best to evade them, but some were more persistent that others, even following her onto the ski trails. Finally Jamie, Doug, and the kids made it to the hardest run on the mountain. Being that they were all skillful skiers, the tall actress had no worries about them being able to complete the course, but she hoped it would prove to challenging to her followers. With the growing paparazzi, she was determined to get some privacy.
Standing at the top of the mountain, she motioned Doug and the children toward her and leaned in closely. "All right. This is getting out of control. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to ski in front of all of you. Give me about a thirty-second lead before following. Hopefully all the cameras will follow me, so you all can have some peace. When I get to the bottom of the hill, I'm going to go into the lodge. You all ski for a bit while I'm entertaining these pests. I'll meet up with you in an hour or so at the lodge."
Doug nodded his head. "Be careful, Jamie. They are starting to get overly zealous."
"I'll be fine. You just take care of the kids."
With that the actress smiled at Katrina before taking off down the slope. As she had hoped most of the media went with her, leaving Doug with the three children. Jamie did her best to make it difficult for the camera people by skiing around trees and intentionally taking harder jumps than normal. The tactic worked for the most part, but there were still a handful able to keep up with her. In a last-ditch effort, she dodged between some trees, hoping no one would be idiotic enough to follow her. Unfortunately there was one photographer that did. Nevertheless, Jamie kept her eyes on her surroundings. Everything seemed to be fine when she looked over her shoulder to see if the photographer was still there close to her, and she noticed Katrina not too far behind being cut off by a media person. The ten-year-old screamed as she fell, and in an effort to stop herself to come to her daughter's aid, Jamie quickly turned her skis to come to a screeching halt, but before she could, she and the photographer pacing her collided. Everything was a daze to the actress after that until she found herself lying on her back in the snow with Doug kneeling beside her.
"Jamie, Jamie, can you hear me?" frantically he yelled.
She looked up into her former brother-in-law's eyes. "What happened?" she sputtered with a cough. Pain was radiating from her entire body. Katrina yelped as she dropped next to her mother's side. Doug didn't answer the brunette's question. Instead he ripped open her jacket and yanked off his own scarf. Pulling off his gloves, he unbuttoned her shirt and pressed his scarf to her bleeding chest. "Doug, this is hardly an appropriate time," the actress joked, but the pain was obvious in her voice.
Nevertheless he gave her a reassuring smile. "Shut up, Jamie, and keep still. Someone's calling for help. You're badly hurt."
Giving a shaky breath, she questioned again, "What happened?"
"You ran into that photographer. He hit the tree, and a low hanging branch caught your jacket. Then you fell on the tip of his ski pole I think. It punctured your chest. You're bleeding. Just do me a favor and lie here. Help will be here soon." Turning to his niece, he said calmly, "Katrina, give me your scarf."
Katrina did as she was told, handing it over to her uncle but never taking her eyes off her mother. Seeing the terror in her child's eyes, Jamie gave the best smile she could. "Don't worry, baby. I'll be fine."
"I'm sorry, Mom. This is all my fault. I saw you look behind at me. I'm sorry," the ten- year-old cried.
"Katrina, this is not your fault. I promise. I love you, sweetie," Jamie replied. Feeling things start to turn hazy again, she took her daughter's hand. "Do me a favor, Katrina. Be good for Sarah."
Half an hour later Sarah and Samantha were sitting in the living room in front of the fireplace with Eve and Stephen. They were placating the little girl by participating in her tea party while Stephen napped on his mother's shoulder when the phone rang. Samantha volunteered to get it and hurried to the kitchen.
However a few moments later, Sarah heard the redhead screaming and quickly rose from her seat. Rushing into the kitchen, she anxiously inquired, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Jamie's been hurt. She's being airlifted to the hospital as we speak," Samantha rushed.
Panic struck Sarah at the words the redhead had just spoken. Immediately grabbing the phone, she stated, "Hello?"
"Sarah, it's Doug. I assume Samantha just told you. I'm on my way back to the cabin with the kids right now. Hopefully we'll be there within an hour. Jamie is being taken to Kalispell Regional Medical Center in Kalispell."
"What happened, Doug?" the blonde yelled.
"Jamie had a serious wound to the chest by colliding with another skier. I'll explain it in detail when I get there. Just hold tight. I'll be there to pick you up as soon as I can, but I shouldn't really talk and drive right now. The weather's getting too bad."
"Okay, I understand. Please hurry."
"I will. She'll be okay, Sarah," he tried to assure.
Instead of taking comfort in those words though, the blonde just said, "Be careful, Doug, and please get here as soon as you can."
When the blonde hung up the phone, she looked at Samantha. "It'll be okay, Sarah."
The younger woman shook her head. "It must be serious if she's been airlifted," she whimpered. "I didn't even get to tell her I loved her, Samantha."
"She knows that you love her. She'll be fine, and you'll get to tell her in person. You'll see. Come on. Sounds like we're going on a trip. Let's get the children's bags ready to go."
Knowing Samantha was right, both women hurried to get everyone packed in case they needed to stay close to the hospital for a few days. By the time Doug arrived with the three kids, the blonde and brunette quickly put the youngest children's car seats into the car while Doug threw the bags in, and before any of them could get settled, they were on the road to the hospital.
Sarah sat in the passenger's seat while Doug drove, and Samantha kept the kids entertained in the back. "Tell me what happened, Doug," she demanded impatiently.
"When we got to the mountain, people recognized Jamie. She tried to downplay it, but before any of us realized it, paparazzi was there trying to get pictures of her. In trying to give us some privacy, she skied ahead of all of us, and the media followed her. However, she got in an accident with a photographer. They collided as she was coming through some trees, and from where I was, it looked like he hit the tree, and Jamie's jacket got ripped by a low branch. Then she lost her balance and fell. The tip of his ski pole penetrated her left breast and then ripped across her chest to the right one as she tumbled down the mountain. I don't know if she even broke anything. I was too worried about all the blood. She was badly hurt, Sarah. I'm sorry. I don't know any more. The EMTs wouldn't tell me anything except where they were taking her."
The blonde actress tried to remain strong for the children, so she simply nodded her head and cried quietly. To Doug she whispered, "Please hurry, Doug. I need to be with her."
The rest of the ride was quiet between the adults, the only sound coming from the DVD the children were watching. Sarah couldn't help but worry about her lover. The way Doug described the accident was horrific. She knew most people didn't survive horrendous skiing accidents, and Doug's story left little doubt in her mind of the fate of that photographer. That alone saddened her, but she was even more worried about her wife. Jamie was strong in body and mind, but she just didn't know if even she could survive such a fall.
Given the snowy conditions and mountainous route to the hospital the couple hour drive was extended far past what Sarah thought she could bear. By the time they all finally reached the hospital, she was exhausted emotionally but was determined to see the brunette. The staff, knowing who she was from her celebrity, escorted the group of them to the Intensive Care Unit where the tall actress was. However, coming to the nurses' station on that floor, they were met by the surgeon who had worked on Jamie when she was first admitted. By his countenance alone, Sarah was fearful of what he might say. Quietly he asked to speak with her alone. Giving a nod she followed him to a quiet sitting area.
When they were completely to themselves, he said, "Sarah, my name is Dr. Grayson. I handled Jamie's emergency surgery when she was admitted. Jamie suffered some serious injuries. From what the EMTs told me, her left breast was pierced by a ski pole, and in her right breast, we found fragments of a branch, leading me to believe she ran into a tree. She then tumbled for at least thirty yards down the mountain and fell off a twenty-foot embankment. Her injuries are extensive. She's broken her right collar bone and her right arm. However, even more serious than that, both her breast implants were punctured, and the silicone started leaking into her body. We had to remove what was left of both of them, but silicone is a dangerous and potentially lethal element to the body. Once it gets in, it's hard to tell if that person has a chance of survival, depending on how much was introduced to the system. From what I could tell by what was left of hers, a significant amount got into her system before she even arrived at the hospital. Jamie has a strong body and what looks to be a strong immune system, but I just can't tell you with certainty the outcome yet. We're doing everything we can for her at the moment. She's in critical condition, and these next few days will be crucial."
Sarah nodded her head as she tried to take in what he had just told her. "What happened to the other person involved?" she inquired.
"He was killed instantly by running into the tree."
"May I see her, Dr. Grayson? I have to be with her," she stated.
"Of course. All of your family can see her. However, I don't want more than two of you in there at a time. Just to prepare you. There is a lot of equipment that she is hooked up to at the moment, so we can monitor her every second. It's not going to be easy, Sarah."
"I understand," the little blonde whispered.
"Very well. I'll take you to her room."
Going back to where the rest of the family was, she asked Samantha and Doug to watch the kids while she went into the room alone. Since she wasn't sure what to expect, she didn't want to subject the children to the scene just yet in case it was too overwhelming. She then followed Dr. Grayson down the hall to Jamie's room. He opened the door for her, and she took a deep breath before entering alone.
Every light in the room was on, illuminating the space brightly. However, Sarah hardly took notice of that fact as she saw the woman she loved lying in the hospital bed. Machines surrounded the brunette. One was helping her breathe and another monitoring her heart rate. Then there were some the blonde wasn't even sure what they did, only that they were keeping her beloved alive. Moving to the bedside, Sarah stood and looked down on the older woman.
Jamie was dressed in a hospital gown that had the opening in the front. Her right arm and shoulder were in one large cast. Curiously the shorter woman reached for the gown and opened it slightly to see the other injuries. Bandages covered Jamie's whole chest, but what surprised Sarah the most was the large reduction in her lover's breast size. She knew her wife had implants, but she had never known how large she was naturally. Now she saw what nature had given Jamie, and it was a far difference from the enhancement she had always known. Putting the gown back into place, she looked at her wife's ashen face. The hint of blue in her lover's lips made Sarah start to cry.
"You can't leave me, Jamie," she whispered. "I need you. Our children need you. I love you more than anything. You have to come back to me." Jamie lay unresponsive to her words. Sighing, Sarah pulled up a chair next to the brunette's bed and sat. Taking her wife's hand, she just watched her.
An hour later there was a soft knock on the door before Samantha poked her head in cautiously. "May I come in?" she asked. The blonde nodded. Moving to the bed, the redhead looked down at Jamie. She didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, though, she mumbled, "This is harder to see than I thought it would be."
"I know," the younger woman agreed.
"Katrina has been asking to see her for the last half an hour. I told her I would ask you if it was all right. May she come in, or would you prefer for her to wait?"
"She can come in. She has a right to see what's going on with her Mom," Sarah answered.
Nodding Samantha said, "I'll go get her then."
A few minutes later the door opened. Sarah looked up to see Katrina and Samantha. Samantha nodded at the little girl before the ten-year-old carefully walked over to the bed. The blonde watched her daughter gaze at her other mother quietly. However, when she saw the young blonde start to cry, Sarah immediately came and wrapped her arms around her.
"It's going to be okay, sweetie," Sarah consolingly said, rocking Katrina lightly.
"She can't die. She can't. This is all my fault. I wish this had never happened," Katrina sobbed loudly.
"Katrina, this is not you fault. Don't think that."
"But it is. If she hadn't looked over her shoulder at me when I screamed, she wouldn't have run into that photographer."
"Honey, it was an accident. She was just trying to look out for you. This is not your fault, Katrina. Please don't blame yourself for something you couldn't control."
"They just wouldn't leave us alone. Why do they do that? Why won't they just leave her alone?" the little girl questioned in tears.
"They just don't understand that your mom is like everyone else. They want to be near here. They think she's fascinating."
"But she's my mom! I want them to stop!"
"We can't make them stop, sweetie."
"She wouldn't have been skiing like that had they not been chasing her!"
"I know. Honey, we just have to think about the here and now. Right now what is important is that we are here for her."
Katrina nodded as she continued to look at her mother lying motionless in the bed. Snuggling closer to the blonde, she continued to weep as she whispered, "I'm scared, Mama."
When Sarah heard what Katrina had called her, she felt it lift her spirit a bit. Not mentioning it to her daughter though, she simply stated, "I know, sweetie. I'm scared too, but the most important thing is that we're here together." For the next hour Sarah and Katrina sat quietly in the hospital room. Neither said a word, but Sarah knew that Katrina was taking it especially hard due to the circumstances surrounding the accident. The ten-year-old sat curled up in her lap clinging to her tightly and just staring at Jamie as she cried.
Later that afternoon, Samantha kept Sarah company while Doug took the children to find suitable sleeping arrangements, since it seemed like they would need to be close to the hospital for some time. The redhead and the blonde didn't talk much as they kept vigil over the brunette. Finally though, Samantha said, "I called Jamie's parents and my own. All of them are on their way here. Do you want me to call your family for you?"
"No, thanks. That's okay. I'll do it. I just needed some time before I could. I can't believe this, Samantha. This is the second time Jamie's risked her life for one of our children. She has such a selfless nature about her, but it's gone too far. The press responsible for this is going to feel my wrath when I get out of here. My wife has been subjected to this scrutiny for far too long unchecked. She's always been too nice to them. This was the last straw though. I'm going to make sure of it."
"Sarah, what are you going to do? You can't keep them from pestering you and Jamie in public, and if you're rude to them, it'll hurt your image."
"My image? I don't give a damn about my image after this. The only thing the media is going to see is a raving, overprotective bitch when it comes to Jamie. They will not ever get close enough to her again to make something like this happen. You can count on that," the young woman vowed.
"Well, you know Doug and I will help you however we can."
"Well, I guess I should start making some calls now. Will you stay with her while I do that?"
"I'm not going anywhere, Sarah," Samantha answered, patting the actress on the arm.
With that Sarah left the room to make the calls in private. She had a long list of people she needed to inform, from her family to the current director and producer of Jamie's new project. Methodically she called each one, the whole time remaining as strong as she possibly could until she dialed the last person on her mental list.
Blake was sitting at the dinner table with her children and Georgia for dinner that night, since their nanny had already left for Christmas with her own family. The children had requested that the blonde and brunette be with them together for awhile, and since neither woman could deny their children anything, they conceded to the family time even though there was still a strain between them. When the phone rang, Blake excused herself from the table to answer it.
"Blake, hi."
"Sarah, hi. I thought you were on vacation. What's the matter? You sound upset."
"Jamie was in a skiing accident. She's been seriously hurt," the blonde reported. "They don't know if she'll...," she sobbed quietly.
"Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry. Are you alone?"
"Samantha's with me. Doug has the kids."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"I need Jamie's will and our power of attorney, Blake. I just need to be prepared in case I have to make some choices. They can't tell me anything else except to be prepared."
"Certainly. I can get those to you right way. They're at my office, but I can go up there and fax them to you. Tell me your numbers, so I can reach you," she said, grabbing a pen off the counter. Once Sarah had relayed the information, the attorney inquired, "Is there anything else I can do? Do you want me to come out there?"
"Thanks, Blake. That's sweet of you, but you should be with your own family. It's the holidays. Besides, all the family is on their way. Thanks anyway."
"All right. If there is anything though, call me. I don't care what it is or if it's the middle of the night. Know that you can call me."
"Thanks. You're a great friend. I should get back to Jamie now. I don't want to be gone any longer."
"Okay. I'll have that information to you soon. Hang in there. My prayers are with you."
When the brunette finally got off the phone and came back to the table, Georgia looked at her quizzically. "What's goin' on?"
"Jamie's been in a skiing accident."
"Is it serious?" the writer asked.
"I'm afraid so. I have to go to the office and fax over some of Jamie's papers. The doctors want Sarah to be prepared for the worst. I'm sorry I have to miss the rest of dinner," she apologized.
"It's all right. I understand. You need to go. We'll still be here when you get back," Georgia assured her.
"Okay. Thanks. I'll be back as soon as I can. Again I'm sorry."
Georgia simply nodded and watched her ex-wife scurry to the entry and grab a winter coat and her car keys before rushing out the door. The little blonde was concerned for her friends but wanted to know more details from Blake when she returned to know the extent of the situation. Until then though, she was determined to keep a happy countenance for the children's sake.
Two hours later the writer was watching a movie with Lana and Luke while they played games on the living room floor when Blake returned. Depositing her coat in the closet, she came to greet them. Hugging each of her kids, she smiled at Georgia. "Thanks for sticking around."
"I was glad to. Cain you tell me more of what's goin' on?"
"I don't really know that much. Sarah was really upset. Jamie hurt herself skiing, and it doesn't look good. Sarah asked me to fax over Jamie's will and their powers of attorney. To me that seems like they are expecting the worst to happen."
"Oh, poor Sarah. She must be devastated and their kids."
"Katrina has already lost one mother and is a hell raiser for it. I'm not sure she could take losing Jamie as well. If that happens, Samantha and Doug are responsible for her. She'd be separated from her siblings. This is just awful," the attorney said, dropping the sofa next to the blonde.
"Well, we can only pray now," Georgia mentioned. Changing the subject she said, "Listen. The kids have asked that we spend tomorrow together. It's Christmas after all, and they want to have both of us there. Would you consider comin' to my place tomorrow? I don't know what your plans are, but Mama is goin' to be there and so are Jack and Vincent."
Looking at their kids, Blake nodded her head. "Yeah. That would be nice. My parents aren't coming in town until the 26th to see the children anyway, so I was just going to hang out here after we had our Christmas morning."
"Then why don't we do a joint Christmas? We'll all open gifts together. I think the kids would like that," the writer suggested.
"All right."
"Great. Well, it's gettin' close to their bedtimes. I should probably go. Why don't I take some of the gifts with me now, so you don't have so much to carry in the mornin'?"
"Okay. Sure. Let me get you something to carry them." Blake went to get a large bag for
Georgia. Together they worked amiably to place all the packages in the bag.
However, Luke asked them, "Where are you taking the presents?"
"They're going to your mama's house. We're going to open them over there tomorrow morning instead of here. We're going to spend the whole day over there."
"All of us?" Lana questioned.
"Yeah, all of us," Georgia answered.
Both the children squealed in delight at their parents' declaration. However then Luke inquired, "Will Santa still know where to find us?"
Georgia and Blake both laughed as they quickly looked at each other. "He'll know where to leave your presents. Don't worry," Blake assured them.
"Now I have to go, but, you two, be good for Mom. Take your baths and then go straight to bed. Santa won't come unless you're asleep."
"Okay, Mama. We will," both the children said as they rose to hug their blonde mother.
Blake then walked Georgia to the door. "We'll see you around ten."
"Sounds good."
Blake stood looking at her for another moment before finally saying, "Thanks for everything. Good night."
"Night, Blake. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you, Georgia. See you in the morning."
On Christmas morning Torrance awoke early. Lying in bed gazing down on the sleeping beauty next to her, the photographer listened for sounds in the house, but all was silent. Looking out the balcony doors, the brunette thought about the day. This was their first time back to Italy since her grandfather's passing, and Torrance could see the toll it was taking on her grandmother. The older woman had lost much of her sparkle, but the photographer understood why. It had only been a few months since Nonno died, and she expected the holiday to be difficult for the family. Nevertheless seeing Nonna struggling wasn't easy for her. She wished desperately to be able to help but knew only time would heal the wounds of the loss.
Sighing she looked back at the blonde sleeping next to her. Helen looked beautiful curled up under the heavy blankets. Quietly rising from bed as to not wake her wife, the photographer went to her luggage and pulled out her camera. Turning toward the former model, she took several shots of the woman she loved fast asleep without Helen even moving. Then she moved quietly to the door that adjourned their room to their children's and poked her head in to see if they were awake. Both her children were awake and sitting in the middle of the floor of their room but looked up when Torrance stepped in to greet them.
"Merry Christmas, Mom," John said coming to her.
"Merry Christmas," Marta followed excitedly.
"Merry Christmas," Torrance replied, leaning down to hug both of them.
"Is everyone up yet?" John asked. "Can we go downstairs?"
"I'm not sure if anyone is awake but the three of us. We can go down and look at the tree though. We can't open anything though until everyone is awake."
"Can I wake Mommy?" Marta asked, scampering to the doorway from where Torrance had come.
"Quietly, Marta. Don't jump on the bed."
Marta and John both ran into their parents' room at Torrance's approval and over to their sleeping mother. Torrance followed closely behind to make sure they did as they were told. Both children climbed onto the bed next to the blonde. Marta snuggled up into her as John leaned over to whisper in her ear.
"Merry Christmas, Mommy," he quietly said, but Helen didn't respond.
Torrance knew her wife was a hard sleeper, so she decided to help her kids wake the beautiful woman. Sliding onto the bed with them, the photographer put her cold feet under the covers and placed them against the younger woman.
Instantly Helen's eyes popped open as she grumbled, "Cold feet." Torrance laughed lightly followed closely behind by her children's laughter, causing the blonde to open her eyes fully. She smiled at her Marta and John. "Well, this certainly is a nice way to wake up in the morning," she commented, pulling Marta closer as John wrapped his arms around her shoulder. Smiling at Torrance she said, "Hey, trouble-maker, get your cold feet off me."
"Merry Christmas, darling," the older woman whispered, leaning to kiss her beloved softly on the lips.
"Merry Christmas, all of you," the former teacher replied with a content smile.
Looking at the younger woman, Torrance saw the greenish color under her eyes. "You feeling all right?" she questioned in concern.
"Okay. My stomach is a little upset, but I'll be fine."
"All right. Well, I'm going to take the kids downstairs to see the tree. You stay up here and take your time getting ready for the day."
Helen nodded. "Sounds good. I'll be down in awhile."
Getting off the bed, Torrance got the kids to softly follow her from the room. Taking one last peek, she smiled seeing that Helen was already drifting back to sleep. Heading downstairs they were surprised to see Thomas and Maria sitting there with Nonna. "Well, Merry Christmas," the photographer greeted them brightly.
All of them issued a similar exchange while they hugged. Both children scurried around the tree looking at the gifts. "Kids, remember. We can't open anything until everyone is awake," Torrance said when she saw them shaking some of the boxes.
"And where is sleeping beauty this morning?" Maria casually inquired, sipping some of her morning tea.
Torrance smiled. "She's still asleep. You know how she is."
"I certainly do, especially when certain things are happening," she alluded vaguely.
The photographer looked at her mother quizzically for a moment. She knew her mother instinctively knew what was going on with she and her wife even though they hadn't spoken of it to anyone. "True," she confessed.
"Why don't you leave the kids down here for awhile and go back upstairs? The rest of the family will be getting up soon, so you won't have much time together after that."
"I guess that's true. Sure you don't mind?"
"Mind? Torrance, our grandchildren are our greatest pleasure. Go on," her father chimed into the conversation.
"All right. I'll be back later. Kids, you stay with Nonna and Nonno, and no unwrapping gifts yet," she reminded before heading back up to her room.
Helen was still in bed when she arrived, so she slipped in beside her, pulling the beautiful blonde into her arms. The younger woman moaned lightly and turned into her wife's embrace. "Merry Christmas, Torrance," she yawned.
"Merry Christmas, my love," the brunette replied. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?"
Helen shook her head. "No. I'm just queasy. You know how I get during this stage. It's just something I have to deal with the best I can."
"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier for me to watch. I hate seeing you like this, knowing that I was the cause," the older woman joked.
The elegant blonde laughed slightly and pulled her lover closer. "Well, I asked for it, so you shouldn't feel that bad."
"We should probably get up now. As much as I want to stay here with you, the kids are about to revolt downstairs if they don't get to those presents fast."
"Is everyone else up?"
"Not yet but the house is starting to stir. You feel like getting up?"
"Sure. Far be it for me to deprive my children of their Christmas morning, because I feel sick."
With the comment hanging in the air, both of them reluctantly rose from bed. The former teacher immediately went into the bathroom and closed the door while the photographer made their bed. She could hear her wife retching, making her feel terrible, but she knew this was part of the process. Helen had always had horrific morning sickness with her other pregnancies that she wasn't surprised at her wife's physical state of health.
Several minutes later the blonde came out of the bathroom in her robe and slippers like nothing had transpired. Smiling at her sympathetically though, Torrance moved in to give her a consoling kiss. However, she was greeted by a passionate lip lock in return. Giving her a searing kiss, Helen pulled away and smiled at her wife. "So, where's my Christmas present, Santa? I've been a good girl all year."
The photographer chuckled. "Well, I believe there are some gifts for you under the tree, Mrs. Whitfield. However, if there aren't, I'm sure you'll always be able to find one in bed later," she stated with a sexy grin. "Now let me into this bathroom, so I can get appropriate for the family. I don't think they all want to see me until I've at least brushed my teeth."
An hour later the entire family sat in the living room together to unwrap presents. The kids were the most excited of course about the prospect of new toys, but the adults also found a few wonderful surprises, making for a perfect morning of gift exchanging. However, later that afternoon, Helen was standing alone in the living room watching her children with Torrance outside playing with some of their new toys. She sighed in contentment at the sight of the three of them together as she wondered about the new addition to their family growing inside of her. Idly she rubbed her stomach in thought, but then a hand on her arm startled her.
"Helen, my child, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you," Nonna stated.
"It's all right. I was just thinking," she answered, wrapping an arm around the older woman's shoulders.
Looking out the window, Nonna said, "She is wonderful. I know you two will be happy together for many years to come. Your marriage is unique to any I have ever seen."
"I hope so. She means everything to me."
"I understand. This time together is a gift, Helen. Treasure it while you can."
"I will, Nonna," the blonde responded, hugging the elderly woman.
After a moment Nonna asked, "Does Torrance know yet about the baby?"
At first Helen looked at her in confusion before realizing what Torrance's grandmother was actually asking. "Yes, she does know that I'm pregnant again."
The older woman placed her hand on Helen's midsection and rested it there momentarily. "Take care of yourself, Helen. You did not look so good this morning."
"I didn't feel very well, but I'll be fine. You'll see."
Nonna nodded skeptically at her. "I hope so," she whispered before turning her attention back outside to her great-grandchildren.
Back in New York Georgia's place was beginning to stir with the excitement of the morning. As promised Blake arrived with the children shortly after 10:00. Cindy was already there as were Jack and Vincent. Even though it seemed odd for the attorney to be spending time with Georgia's family that day, she knew it was what the kids wanted, so she was pleased to be able to give them the gift of a united family, even if it was only for the day. Following her kids into the living room, the brunette took a seat on the couch next to Cindy.
"Cain I get you anything, Blake? A cup of coffee?" the writer suggested amiably.
"That would be wonderful, Georgia. Thanks."
The blonde smiled and nodded at her ex-wife before going into the kitchen. As she was pouring the coffee into a mug, she thought about the way the attorney looked that day. Blake was dressed casually in a pair of khaki pants and a heavy navy sweater. Her graying brown hair hadn't been styled as usual, leaving it looking soft and slightly disheveled in a most alluring way. The younger woman felt her body warming at the thought of the way her ex was dressed. Even though their relationship hadn't worked, there was no denying the affect the sight of the older woman had on her still. Blake was still her fantasy, and at times when she was alone in the middle of the night longing for someone to hold her, it was always the attorney that flooded her mind and fueled her passion.
Returning to the living room, Georgia presented her ex with the beverage. Blake smiled at her cordially and thanked her graciously for the drink before both parents focused on their children. Lana and Luke were both eager to rip into their gifts and made quick work of the presents to Blake and Georgia's surprise. However, when everything was complete, the brunette pulled one last present out of the jacket she had worn that day and handed it to the writer.
"This is a little something for you and the kids," she stated nervously.
Georgia thanked her in confusion. She hadn't expected Blake to buy her anything, so she wondered what it could be. Carefully unwrapping it, she opened the cover of the small card and read what was on it aloud. "This gift certificate entitles the holder four tickets to a week at Disney World." Looking at the attorney, she questioned, "Four tickets?"
"Well, it's for you, the kids, and whoever else you might want to take. It doesn't have to be Anne. You can take your mom, Jack, Helen, Sarah, whoever you want. It's your choice."
Smiling at the older woman, Georgia said, "Thank you, Blake. That's very generous of you. I'm sure we'll have a great time."
"It was just something we said we wanted to do for them. I figured now was as good a time as any," she mentioned, looking at the blonde. They had discussed it before when the children were younger. Georgia had wanted to take them to Disney so badly, but Blake knew it was more because she had never been able to go as a child herself that caused that want for her kids. By giving the blonde that particular gift, she was giving her a chance to have a bit of her own childhood again, which was a small gesture of wanting the blonde's happiness.
It didn't go unnoticed by the blonde either. "Well, thank you. It's wonderful."
"You're welcome." The two of them just looked at each other for a moment in silence while the other adults in the room began to clean up the mess the kids had created with the wrapping paper.
However after a moment, Cindy broke the spell as she said, "Georgia, want to help me in the kitchen?"
"Sure, Mama. I'll be right there." The blonde followed her mother into the kitchen.
"Well, that certainly was a sight to see," the older woman mentioned.
"What was?" Georgia inquired in confusion.
"The two of you together lookin' at each other like that. What's goin' on, Georgia? Have you forgotten what she's done to you?"
"No. I could never forget, Mama. It's just that she's bein' so nice for the children's sake. I feel like I should too. It's what makes them happy. I want my kids to be happy, Mama, regardless of what goes on between Blake and me."
"I know that look in your eyes, Georgia. Don't let her control your feelings. It's over. She don't deserve you."
"Mama, it's Christmas. I don't want to talk 'bout this. It hurts to think 'bout still. Just leave it 'lone for now."
"Fine. I'm just warnin' you. Don't let that woman back in your life. You'll be miserable."
Shaking her head at her mother, Georgia stated, "When did you become this way? You used to love Blake. Why the change?"
"Because she hurt you, Georgia. She cheated on you, and she divorced you without even so much as tryin' to make amends. That's not the kind of woman I want for you. You cain do much better."
"Mama, it's taken me time to realize I was as much to blame as she was for what happened. What if I did want to get back together with her? You wouldn't approve, even if it was what was best for the children and made me happy?"
"I want you happy, baby girl. That's all I want for you." Pausing for a moment she continued, "You don't want to be with her 'gain, do you?"
Georgia shrugged. "I miss her, Mama. I miss the way things used to be years ago. I just want to feel that way 'gain 'bout someone."
"You will, Georgia. I promise you will."
Just then Blake poked her head into the kitchen. "Do you two need any help?"
"We're fine. Thanks. Play with the kids, Blake," Georgia answered. When she was gone again, the blonde looked at her mother. "Just be nice to her, Mama. She's always been that way to you. That shouldn't change."
"I'll try, sugar. That's all I cain do."
Out in Montana Sarah had a sleepless night at the hospital. Doug and Samantha had taken the children to the best local hotel they could find to get some sleep the night before, and now on Christmas morning, the blonde actress sat by her wife's bedside in the stillness of the hospital room. Jamie hadn't changed much during the night, but the doctors considered that a positive thing under the circumstances. It meant the taller woman's immune system was fighting well for her. Nevertheless, Sarah was still despondent as she sat and kept vigil over her.
A little later there was a knock on the door before Samantha quietly poked her head into the room. "How is the patient today?" she inquired solemnly.
"No change but the doctors say that's good," the younger woman reported.
The redhead nodded. "The family has started arriving. Why don't I sit here for awhile, so you can go to the hotel and sleep a little? It'll do no good to stay up like this. You need rest, Sarah."
"I just can't bear to leave her, Samantha."
"I know, but the hotel is only ten minutes away. If anything happens, I'll call you. Your kids need you, Sarah. Let me stay here for awhile. Just go to the hotel and take a nap. Then get up and have a shower and something to eat. You'll feel better. Doug has the kids, so you'll have some time to sleep."
"You're probably right, Samantha. I wasn't able to sleep much last night. The nurses kept coming in here every hour to check on her. You'll call me if there is any change?"
"Of course. You'll be the first to know. Go on now. Here are the keys," the older woman said, handing over the car keys and a hotel key. Your room has already been prepared."
"All right. I'll go but only for a few hours. I'll be back soon."
"Take your time. I'll be right here," Samantha said, hugging the blonde closely.
"Okay. Be back soon."
"Okay." Sarah turned to leave but then changed her mind and returned to the bed. Leaning down to her wife's pale lips, she kissed her gently. "Merry Christmas, Jamie. I love you. I'll be back in a little bit," she whispered. Jamie of course said nothing, making the blonde start to cry. Nevertheless she turned to Samantha. "Take care of her. I'll be back in a few hours."
"I will. Take your time."
Slowly making her way to the hotel, Sarah used the room key Samantha had given her to go into her room. When she opened the door though, all the kids were there with Doug. He gave her a comforting smile as all of the children rushed to hug her. "Merry Christmas, Sarah. Last night I took the liberty of driving back to the house to get the children's presents, so they could have a little Christmas today. We had just finished with their presents."
"That was nice of you, Doug. Thanks."
"Well, it gives them something to do as well, because they can't really go outside in this weather. How are you? How are things?"
"There hasn't been any change yet. I'm exhausted actually."
"Well, we got the only suite this place has plus the room next door. It's not what you're used to I'm sure, but it was all there was around here."
"It's fine."
"Why don't you take a nap in the room next door? I'll stay with the kids and keep them entertained."
"I appreciate that. I'll only be a few hours."
"Take your time, Sarah. It's a long road, and we all need our strength."
Nodding her head, the actress went into the room next to the suite and shut the door. Not even bothering with her clothes, she collapsed onto the bed and immediately fell asleep from exhaustion. By the time she awoke later that day, all of the family had arrived. She took her time in showering and dressing before going to be with them. All of them were sympathetic to her and the situation, giving her some comfort by their presence. However, all she really needed was a call from Samantha that Jamie was responsive again. That call didn't come though, and by the time dinner was over, Sarah wanted to return to the hospital for another long night of watching over her wife.
The next several days followed in the same fashion for Sarah. She stayed at the hospital almost every night while another family member took day shifts with Jamie. The older actress was still not responsive to anything, but the doctors kept reassuring Sarah that Jamie was at least stabilized more than she had been when she was admitted, giving them some small assurance in her recovery. Not once had Jamie gotten worse, so it was a sliver of hope to which she clung during the long nights.
However, after the New Year, a tough decision had to be made regarding Doug, Samantha, and the kids. The children were scheduled to head back to school, but Samantha was hesitant to leave Sarah. Nevertheless, the blonde assured them that she would be fine with the other family and asked that they take Katrina back with them, so she didn't have to miss any school. The ten-year-old wasn't thrilled with the idea of parting with the brunette, but her aunt was able to convince her that it was for the best, so they finally left with their kids and Katrina in tow, leaving the actress with her younger children, her parents, and her in-laws. During that time Eve and Stephen were attended to by their grandparents while the blonde spent her time with Jamie.
One night the little actress was in the chair reading a magazine and just thinking when she heard a small moan coming from the bed. Looking over to her wife, she saw the brunette's facial muscles twitching slightly. It was the first movement the older woman had made in almost two weeks. With concern and cautious optimism, Sarah buzzed for the doctor immediately. It was only a few moments before they arrived in the room to investigate.
After a brief examination, they turned to her. "It appears as if she is almost cognizant. Give it a little longer, and with any luck we might see her eyes open."
Thrilled with the potential news, Sarah took her wife's hand. "Jamie, open your eyes for me, love. It's been so long since I've seen them. I miss them and you. Come on. Just look at me." Jamie didn't answer but for the first time, Sarah felt a response from her lover. The taller woman's hand quivered in the blonde's, filling the younger woman with excitement. "That's it, sweetheart. Come back to me," she whispered, running her hand along her beloved's face in affection. For the rest of the night, Sarah sat rapt with the possibilities of seeing Jamie's brown eyes open, and by morning that wish finally came to fruition as the blonde sat beside the brunette sleepily.
When Jamie's eyes opened, it took her a moment to focus on where she was. The room was silent except from some humming sounds. Slowly moving her head, she scanned the room. It was obviously a hospital, and there next to her, sitting there watching her anxiously was her wife. "Sarah," she mumbled.
"Jamie, I'm right here," Sarah answered, moving onto the bed to sit next to the woman she loved.
"What happened?" the older actress asked slowly.
"You were in a skiing accident, love. I almost lost you. You almost followed in the footsteps of your namesake, Jamie. You don't have to die young, you know, just because you were named for a man who did," she teased with relief that her lover seemed to be coming around finally. "Do you remember anything?"
Jamie gave a tiny nod. "I was being chased by a photographer through some trees on the slope. We collided, and then Doug was kneeling over me."
"Yeah. Let me get the doctors, baby. They'll want to know you're awake," she stated, pressing the button for the nurses' station.
Within minutes Jamie was surrounded by medical staff being examined again. The doctor smiled at Sarah for the first time since they met. "It looks like she's finally coming around. This is what we've been hoping for all along. There is still some infection in her body from the silicone, but this is a vast improvement." Then looking at Jamie, he introduced himself. "Hello, Jamie. I'm Doctor Grayson. It's about time you returned to us. We've been worried about you."
"What happened?" Jamie inquired of him.
"Well, you suffered through quite an accident. Both of your breasts were punctured so badly that I had to remove your implants. You broke your collarbone and your arm, and you fell off an embankment. You're quite lucky to still be with us."
The older woman nodded slowly as she tried to look over herself. Immediately she noted that her notorious chest was gone, and her arm and shoulder were in a cast. Looking back at him, she quietly asked, "Can you put them back in?"
"Jamie, I wouldn't recommend that you do that, at least not until you're completely well. You need to recover first before you even think about getting another set of implants. It's going to take some time to heal first."
Sarah saw the look on her lover's face and knew the older woman was upset. When the doctors left them alone, she took her wife's hand. "What's wrong, Jamie?"
"Look at me, Sarah."
"I am. What do you see wrong, love?"
"They were my career, Sarah, and now they're gone," she mumbled tiredly.
"Jamie, don't worry. There will be time to think about all that. You need your rest now. Please don't worry about anything but getting better for me. Okay?"
The taller woman nodded her head and sighed a little. "Where are the kids?" she asked.
"Katrina is back in New York, because school started again, and Stephen and Eve are with our parents. I'm sure they'll be by later. You need to just relax now. That's all that's important at the moment."
******************************************************************
By the time spring came alive again in New York, Jamie had returned almost as she had been when she was in Montana, with one notable difference. During the time that she was recovering in the hospital, she and Sarah had numerous talks about where to go from that point. A major topic of discussion was Jamie's breast implants. Even though they had brought the actress her currently popularity, the blonde had managed to convince her lover that she didn't need them any longer.
Jamie was reluctant at first to relinquish what she considered to be her biggest acting asset, but as the conversations drifted from her body to her career, the actress made an important decision. From what she did remember about the day of the accident, there was a conversation she had with Katrina that stuck out in her mind. Her daughter had great disdain for the media attention that she got. In fact, she realized it was creating a problem in their relationship, because she wasn't able to spend private time out with Katrina. Given that, she came to the only conclusion she could live with for the betterment of her family. Shortly after returning to New York, she informed Sarah and her children that she was going back to Broadway acting. She had spent enough time in the Hollywood limelight, and she was tired of not having the privacy that she wanted for her family.
Sarah was shocked at this news at first, because Jamie had decided not to complete the project she had been working on when the accident occurred, leaving her without any other films after her Oscar win a year ago. She urged her wife to consider her decision carefully, but in the end, Jamie was satisfied with her choice of giving up the glamorous movie star life for something closer to her heart and to her family. With the decision made, she immediately got work offers in several new productions. Choosing the one she felt was most right for her, she dove into her old theatrical passion. It felt good to her to be on the stage again, and at the end of every day, she went home to her children.
Sarah, on the other hand, made the choice to continue the lifestyle she had always known. Having grown up in the Hollywood scene, it was the place she felt most comfortable. She and Jamie came to an understanding that allowed the blonde to continue to pursue her dreams while the brunette followed her own on the much smaller scale. Of course having Jamie back in her natural element on the stage created its own buzz as she once again became the talk of the international theatrical circle that she had been before pursing her big-screen acting career.
As for Torrance and Helen, life was passing at the blissful pace it usually did. The blonde was into her second trimester, and as the months had passed, Torrance had scaled back on her photo shoots, leaving the two of them lots of time to spend with their children. The days consisted of the photographer and the former teacher playing with their kids and relishing the time they had.
Blake, however, was fairing much worse than her friends. With the spring Georgia began to travel a lot more on book tours, taking the children and the nanny with her. Many nights the attorney came home to an empty house, and it was getting more difficult for her to cope with her losses. In an effort to suppress her pain, she became a regular at the local bar a few doors down from her building. She always had a flock of ladies to give her the attention she craved, but at the end of every night, she always returned home without an escort. During that time she had recognized that even though she loved the attention, she was truly not able to move beyond innocent flirting with anyone yet. Georgia still had a hold on her that wouldn't allow any one else into her heart or home.
One Friday evening Blake returned home from work to an empty house. Going into her room, she changed into some casual codes that consisted of a pair of khaki trousers and a blue dress shirt. Heading into her kitchen, she peered into a bare refrigerator and sighed. It was too quiet that night. Georgia was away with the kids and Anne on a trip to New Orleans. The week and half in which she had alone had been trying for her. She missed her children dearly, but she found herself missing the little blonde as well. Closing the refrigerator door, she decided to head to the bar where she was now a regular for some conversation and food.
A few hours later the writer and nanny arrived back at the attorney's loft a few days earlier than expected, because Lana and Luke wanted to go home and see their mother. However, when they got there, they found the place unoccupied. Nevertheless, Anne and Georgia prepared the children for bed. Not knowing when the brunette would be home, the younger woman contemplated waiting for her but decided it would not be right given their current relationship. Instead she left the twins in Anne's capable hands and left the building.
Going outside to the street, the doorman greeted her politely and asked if he could hail her a cab. The writer smiled and nodded, so he went to do her bidding. However, as they were standing there waiting on a taxi, she curiously inquired if he knew of the attorney's whereabouts. With a nod he informed her of the bar Blake had been visiting only a few doors down from there. Thanking him graciously, the blonde said she would not be needing her cab after all and started to walk in the direction of the bar.
When she arrived there, she paused at the door a moment, contemplating whether she should enter. There was a part of her that knew she should leave Blake to her privacy, but there was a much greater part of her that wanted to see the older woman. Opening the door to the establishment, she tentatively stepped inside the dim place. Conversation was loud and rowdy in the crowd of mostly women, but Georgia didn't see Blake at first. Moving further into the bar, the writer scanned for the attorney. However, it wasn't until she got to the end of the long oak bar that she spotted the woman of her persistent fantasies.
Blake was in the corner leaning against a barstool and dressed in casual clothing Georgia had never known the brunette to wear. The shorter woman just watched her momentarily as Blake idly ran her hands over the pool stick in her grasp and watched the game in progress. It took the thirty-year-old back to the first night she had ever spent with her ex-wife.
Georgia had been married to Jack and living in rural Georgia. Her life was so much different then. There she had been just a few steps shy of the trailer trash associated with the poor areas of the Deep South. However, the attorney had seen past all of that at their first meeting and interactions in the times that had followed. Blake had never made Georgia feel like less of a person for her financial and social situation in life. The forty-two year old hadn't made her feel embarrassed about coming from a less-than-worthy upbringing. Blake had always treated her with respect. Instead, it was Georgia who had treated the attorney differently by her obvious financial status.
The blonde woman had been interested in how Blake had come by her money and was fascinated by the strong nature she possessed. That allure quickly transformed itself into something deeper, though, the day she saw Blake and her then girlfriend, Cara Lebowitz, in the middle of a passionate encounter. It was then that Georgia realized her own feelings as well as the possibilities in pursuing the attractive northerner. Her plan had quickly gone awry though, and she still regretted what happened to the attorney at the hands of the Georgia Klan. However, even that horrific event hadn't kept them apart in the end. Eventually, Blake had forgiven her for her part in the tragic crime, and they had been able to find the love both of them had always desired. A marriage and two children later, the writer had found herself living the life she had always fantasized about as a little girl. She had the money, notoriety, and career she wanted.
However, as she looked at Blake across the crowded bar, she realized what she had truly longed for, even though only a few feet away, was out of her reach once again. The love of a lifetime was no longer hers, and it deeply saddened her even more than she had already been. Not even the money she had received as a settlement in their prenuptial agreement and what she had made in her writing could make up for the loss of the attorney's embrace, but she knew she had made a choice to have the career she wanted. Her only wish was that Blake had been accepting of hers, but she realized it was hypocritical to ask for that approval when she had never truly given it to the brunette. The whole time they were dating and then married, she had begrudgingly endured the attorney's long hours when she had preferred her to be at home.
With those thoughts running rampant through her mind, she sighed at the sight of her ex speaking with another woman. Even as much as she felt the familiar tingle in the pit of her stomach at the very sight of the sexy attorney, she knew Blake was no longer hers to claim. Deciding it would be best to leave before she was spotted, she turned to go. She wasn't sure why she had come in the first place, and figured it would be best to escape before she was forced to vocalize why she had appeared in the bar if the taller woman spotted her. Making her way back toward the door quickly, she was just reaching for the handle when the melodious voice she had grown to love through the years spoke her name questioningly. Turning toward the sound, she prepared a casual smile for her ex-wife.
"Georgia, what a surprise. What are you doing here?" the older woman asked.
"I brought the kids home early, because they wanted to see you. Anne's with them now. I was just on my way home when the doorman told me where I could find you. I wanted to tell you they were home, but when I saw you, I thought better than to disturb you."
"Oh, well, okay. Was that all?" Blake inquired. She had her doubts Georgia's only reason was the kids.
"Pretty much. I'm just goin' to get home now."
"Do you have to rush off? You must be tired and hungry. Let me get you something to eat and drink," she suggested.
Looking around for a moment, the smaller woman conceded, "All right but only if I'm not in the way."
"Not at all. Come on," she insisted, gesturing toward the bar. The two of them took seats on empty barstools toward the window. The bartender took their orders quickly before they were left to themselves. Trying to figure out what to say, the attorney asked, "So, how was your trip?"
"Fine. Lana and Luke love Nawlins as much as I do."
"Good. It'll be nice for them then when they go there. And what about Anne?"
"I suppose she enjoys it as well. I gave her a couple of days off to sightsee while we were there. It really is a great city, Blake."
"I know. I had a great time when we were there," the older woman admitted. "I just wouldn't want to live there permanently."
Georgia nodded. Not knowing exactly what to say in response though, she changed the direction of the conversation to the brunette. "So, how's work for you?"
"Busy. As long as celebrities fall in love, get married and divorced, I'll never have a dull moment. Between prenups, divorces, and custody battles, it's always busy. The financial practice is doing well also. My fellow partners are looking into offering Jeff a senior partner position here in the near future. Right now we're just trying to work out a succession plan once we move him. It's still a year or two away, but I'm always planning for my protégé."
"Well, Jeff has always been an excellent member of your staff. He deserves any accolades and promotion you can give him. He's been loyal to you for as long as I can remember."
"That's very true. One of these days he'll be the one to take over my business. It won't be too soon, because I have a lot of good years left in me, but there will be a time to sell out."
"Speakin' of sellin' out, what's the latest between you and Jack if I cain ask?"
"He still wants me to sell, but I'm not ready. I believe the restaurant is only getting better, and it would be foolish to give up my investment due to circumstances. We're still partners, and I have maintained my silence as per our agreement. We are still able make business decisions amiably, so there's no need to change in my opinion. I know he feels differently, but I think he understands that regardless of you and me, I'm there for the restaurant's success and would do just about anything to ensure it. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize his financial interest, because I'm so heavily invested in it myself. I'm not going to sell, Georgia, but I'm not going to run it or him into the ground either."
"I guess I understand that." There was a brief pause as their drinks were placed in front of them. Georgia took a sip of hers before turning back to her ex. "Since we're here chattin', there was somethin' I wanted to talk to you 'bout," she mentioned.
"What's that?"
"This Disney World trip that you gave the kids and me. I asked them who should be the fourth person to go with us. They said they wanted you to go."
"Me? Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind."
"I know, but I think it would mean so much to them for us to go as a family. Would you at least consider doin' it? For them?"
"When it is scheduled?"
"In three weeks."
"That doesn't leave me much time to prepare, Georgia, but I guess I'll see what I can do. I wouldn't want to deny the kids if it's what they really want," the attorney conceded.
The blonde nodded her head. "It is. It'll be fun. You'll see."
"All right. I'll look at my schedule tomorrow and let you know."
"Wonderful."
Several minutes of idle chat later their food arrived. Both women were grateful, because it was just the slight distraction from direct interaction that they needed. It was difficult for them to try to act normally with each other when there was so much being left unsaid. However, they managed to make it through their impromptu meal without any problems. When it was over, Georgia thanked the brunette for their dinner and then made a quick escape before anything could go wrong, leaving the attorney sitting at the bar wondering about the encounter.
Going back to her own place, the writer got herself ready for bed. It was still early, but she nevertheless climbed under her covers with a book to relax after the long day of travel. Opening her novel she tired to focus on the text, but her mind was elsewhere. Dark eyes captivated her attention as she thought about Blake. The time at the bar with the older woman was a surprise and pleasure that evening. The attorney looked so sexy to her when she spotted her in the back of the bar, and when she heard Blake's voice calling her name, it sent a shiver through her body like so many times in the past.
During their small meal, they had to sit so close together due to the crowd that every once in awhile one of them would brush against the other. Georgia didn't know if Blake realized it or not, but every time the dark-haired woman touched her casually, the writer felt as if she was burning. Her skin was set on fire by the mere touch of the forty-two year-old's arm.
Now in the privacy of her bed, Georgia let her mind fantasize about more between them. She imagined Blake's hand stroking her thigh lightly as they ate, her fingers creating circular patterns on her inner thigh as she spoke to the blonde. Georgia's pulse quickened at the thought and her breathing caught. Letting the dream continue, she had the attorney whispering flirty notions as her powerful hand made its way up to the juncture of the blonde's thighs. Blake's mouth closed over her neck as her skillful fingers magically found a way inside of the younger woman's clothes. Managing to meet the brown eyes of her lover, Georgia's eyes said everything for her as she sat happily helpless to Blake's whims. Soon their mouths were joined as were their bodies.
Georgia's eyes began to water as she came back to reality. That Blake wasn't hers any longer. In fact, she hadn't seen that side of the attorney in quite a few years with the exception of the trip to New Orleans almost a year ago. It seemed hard to accept that almost a year had passed since that time together with her beloved and her friends. It was the last moment she remembered being happy. With a sigh she wondered if she would ever be that way again. Not knowing an answer though, she tried to force the thoughts from her mind as she once again looked at her book. However, before she could begin to read, another thought struck her. If Blake was able to go to Florida with them, she wasn't sure she could control her need. The attorney had always had a magnetism she was unable to deny, and even though they were no longer married, it was still hard for Georgia to deny herself the feeling of the brunette's touch. Knowing she had to deal with that only as it arose, she vowed not to think about it.
Three weeks later Georgia's worries from that night at the bar found themselves at the surface again as she looked across the aisle of the airplane and saw Blake sitting there. Surprisingly the attorney had been able to clear her schedule for her children, and the four of them were on their way to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Neither adult said much to each other as they boarded the plane for their destination. Instead they focused strictly on the kids, each of them taking one under their supervision. With the course of the next week already set for them, the writer wondered what it had in store.
Back in New York, Jamie was on the set of her latest musical working diligently when a lunch break was called for the actors. Heading off toward the dressing area, the brunette was off in thought when she heard her name being called. Looking over her shoulder at the sound, she saw her long-time friend and the producer of the show, Cara Lebowitz, coming toward her.
"Cara, hey," the actress greeted.
""Hi, Jamie. How are you?"
"Fine. You?"
"I'm all right. Listen, do you have any lunch plans? I wanted to talk to you if you were free."
"I'm free. Let's go. I'm starving."
Giving a nod, the producer followed her friend toward the dressing area where Jamie quickly threw on a light jacket and sunglasses. Heading out the side door to the stage, Cara inquired, "So, where to?"
"I don't care. You pick it as long as it's fast." Cara nodded and the pointed down the street toward a small French restaurant. Going inside they were immediately seated and left alone with menus. Jamie looked at her choices and quickly decided before asking, "So, what did you want to talk to me about, Cara?"
"You. I want to talk about you, Jamie. I've known you a long time. Something's not right with you. You want to tell me what it is?"
"Nothing's wrong, Cara. I'm fine."
"I know you too well. Jamie, whatever it is, you can tell me. We're friends."
The younger woman sighed. "I know. I just am having some problems lately. I'll get better."
"What kind of problems?"
"Well, as much as I like being back in the theater, it's still kind of hard. It's just going to take getting used to again."
The older brunette nodded. "Well, hopefully it makes you feel better to know that you are an even bigger star now than when you left."
"It's different though. It's not what I'm used to anymore."
"I know, but is it better or worse?"
"Both. I mean, I'm still hounded by the media, and I suppose I always will be, because I'm married to Sarah, but the focus has shifted more toward her now. I don't like that. I don't want to see her hurt the way I was."
"She's got protection."
"I know, but the fact that she has more bodyguards than ever doesn't make me feel any better. There is always a chance some lunatic could hurt her."
"If I were you, I'd be more worried about myself. You're the one walking around the streets of New York without adequate protection. Do you really think that one escort you have is going to keep you out of harm's way?"
"I don't like even having one, Cara. I wish I could walk these streets alone the way I used to. There was a time when I could. Back when I was married to Stephanie, back when I wasn't a star, I could go anywhere and do anything. I'll never have that back though. That's a choice I made, but sometimes I do wish I could reverse it. Had I not been famous, I wouldn't have almost died in that skiing accident."
Nodding her head, Cara said, "Well, had you not been famous, you never would have met Sarah. Your celebrity afforded you things you never would have had otherwise. You still would have been a star on the stage if you hadn't gone into movies. You already were, but you would have been vaulted into it even more than you had then. You're too talented not to have had the notoriety. Your voice alone would have gotten you that attention. In fact, I always thought you would go the route of a singer to stardom instead of an actor. Nevertheless, the result would have been the same. You were destined for celebrity, Jamie. Some people just are."
"I guess. It's still hard sometimes though. I mean there are times when I lie awake at night and think about how different my life could have been had I not gone into movies. I never would have been skiing that day. I never would have lost what I did, and I never would have been responsible for someone else's death," the younger woman mentioned quietly, allowing her real thoughts to finally show.
"Yeah. That must be hard for you, Jamie. I know you thought you built your career on your implants, but let me tell you something. You were beautiful before, and you're beautiful now. People stop and stare at you, not because you're a star, but because you are so stunning. Long before your name was household, you still had that effect on people. To be truthful with you, those additions made you into something you weren't. Sure they got you attention, but you hid behind them for so long. It wasn't until Sarah came along that you let your walls down and let her see the real you. Because I knew you before you got those implants, I know the real you, but I also know that many people don't. You've gotten a second chance, Jamie, to make it right. It was lucky that you survived that accident. It could have easily been you instead of that photographer who died up there. You need to make the most of this chance, and I think you've started. You gave up the movies to come back to your real passion. You're able to spend more time with your kids. I know those are things that truly matter to you."
"They are. It's just hard to know my revelation came at such a high price. As much as I am grateful for the chance to do what really matters to me, I hate the fact that someone had to die. Even as much as I didn't want him following me up there, I would have rather us both leave that mountain safely. Instead he got killed, and I almost died. Do you even know how it feels to think about the fact that if I hadn't run into him he'd still be alive?"
"You don't know that for sure, Jamie. He was obviously careless, because he went after you in the first place. It was an accident, and there was nothing you could do about it. He was determined to hound you. If he hadn't been there, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. Think about it that way."
"I know, Cara. It doesn't make me feel any better though."
"Does Sarah know about this, Jamie? Have you talked to her or anyone about this?" the producer questioned hesitantly.
"Not really. She's been through enough, as have my kids. I want them to just be able to put it behind them. It's better for Katrina that way."
"I'm not so sure. I know your daughter too, Jamie. It wouldn't surprise me if she felt as guilty as you do. That's the kind of child she has always been. Maybe you should talk to her. I bet if you did, you both would feel better."
"Perhaps you're right, Cara."
"You should talk to Sarah as well, Jamie. That's what spouses are for. They are suppose to be there for each other."
"I know. I just hate seeming less than strong for Sarah. I've always been the strong one."
Laughing lightly Cara shook her head. "Oh, are you in denial. Are you blind? Jamie, Sarah is the strongest woman I've ever known. Look at all she's been through, and she's still with us. That woman can take anything you give. Now I suggest you let her know how you're feeling. It'll be better for your family."
"I'll think about it."
"Good. In the meantime, know that you can talk to me. I'm here for you, Jamie. I always will be."
"I know. Thank you, Cara."
Giving her old friend a smile, the older brunette stated, "Now can I tell you how great it is to have you back? I'm so glad you found your way home. This is where you belong. Broadway loves you, Jamie, and it is definitely not so quick to scrutinize every detail of your life. This is definitely the place for you to be."
"I'm really glad to be back. It was like coming home the first time I stepped on the stage again. You know, as much fun as I had making films, it doesn't compare to standing in the spotlight with the other actors. The cameras got to be too much after awhile. And of course it's great to burst out into spontaneous song as well," she joked.
Cara laughed. "Yeah. Musicals always have been good to you, Jamie. I'm so glad you're in this one. It's got Tony written all over it now thanks to you."
Later that evening Jamie returned to Staten Island just as the sun was beginning to set. Immediately heading over to Samantha and Doug's, she picked up her three children, all of whom were excited to see her and made her way back to their house. Since Sarah hadn't gotten home yet, she started dinner for everyone and then sat with Katrina at the table to help her with her homework. It wasn't long before Sarah arrived back at the house.
Taking one look at the blonde, Jamie knew Sarah had a difficult day. "Welcome home," she greeted, standing to give her wife a hug and lingering kiss.
The blonde moaned lightly as she settled into Jamie's strong arms. "It's good to be home. What a day."
"What happened?" the brunette questioned, breaking away to check on the food. The blonde actress flopped down into a kitchen chair and began to rattle off all of the tedious interviews she had to endure in the city. Sympathetically the older woman listened, knowing it was hard for her wife to deal with all the media attention regarding her departure alone. Nevertheless, Sarah didn't mention anything about that. Instead, she just spoke about various people she had met that day.
When Sarah had exhausted the events of her day in full, she inquired, "And what about your day?"
"Mine was fine. Cara and I had lunch together, and the rest of the time I was at the theater working. It was great. I got to practice some of the songs for the production. I'll tell you, Sarah. It feels good to be back."
Standing Sarah came to Jamie and wrapped her arms around the taller woman from behind. "I'm glad, Jamie. I just want what makes you happy. That means everything to me."
"I know. I want the same for you, honey," the older woman replied, kissing the blonde on top of the head. "Why don't you go put on something more comfortable? Dinner is almost ready. After the kids go to sleep, I want to talk to you about something."
With interest piqued, the smaller woman inquired, "Is this a good conversation?"
"There's just something I want to tell you," Jamie answered.
Nodding Sarah went off to change, leaving Jamie to get the table ready for dinner. By the time the blonde returned all the kids were in their seats, waiting on her to begin their meal. Quickly she took her place. During dinner the conversation centered around Katrina, Eve, and Stephen. However, once it was complete, Jamie took the duty of getting Stephen and Eve into their baths and then pajamas while Katrina and Sarah took care of the dishes.
"How was school today, Katrina?" Sarah inquired conversationally. Ever since Jamie's accident, her oldest child was much more open with her, so she always tried to foster that continued growth.
"Fine. Some kids were talking about you and Mom again though," she informed the blonde.
"What were they saying?"
"Just stuff."
"Bad stuff?" Sarah guessed. Katrina nodded. "Well, you know that some people just make things up that aren't true. You know what's true and what isn't, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"And if you ever doubt anything, you can always ask us. You know that, right?"
"I know. Sometimes it's just hard, Mama."
Running her hands through her daughter's blonde hair, Sarah nodded. "I know, sweetie, but you know your real friends are the ones that don't judge you." The little girl put her arms around Sarah's back and held her closely for a moment. Sarah responded in kind, wrapping her arms securely around Katrina, who was only a few inches shorter than she. "I love you, sweetheart, and I'm always here for you."
"I love you too, Mama." After a long moment, Katrina said, "Mama, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?" she asked, looking down at her eldest child.
"Can I have the same last name as you and Mom?"
"You want to change your name? What brought that on?" Katrina shrugged. "Did someone at school say something to you?"
"I just want to have the same name as everyone else," she answered.
Nodding Sarah pondered the best response. "Have you asked your Mom? Do Aunt Samantha and Uncle Doug know about this?" she asked.
"No. Not yet. Would it be okay though?"
"Well, Katrina, it's a complicated situation, but I promise that I'll talk to your Mom. Aunt Samantha has to agree too, sweetie. It's really for the two of them to decide, but I'll tell them you asked. All right?"
"Okay."
"Now, do you have any homework to do?"
"Mom already helped me with it. Can I go across the street?"
"Sure. Let me walk with you as soon as I finish this."
Quickly putting the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher, the two blondes made their way across the street. Sarah spent a few minutes talking to Samantha and Doug before returning back to their house to speak to Jamie about the interesting development. However, when she arrived back at the house, Stephen and Eve were both too awake to settle down for the evening, so the blonde helped Jamie entertain them until Doug brought Katrina home.
Finally by 10:00 though all the kids were in their beds, leaving Jamie and Sarah some time alone together. Since both of them were tired from the day, they got themselves ready for bed and then sat on their balcony enjoying the spring night. Once they were settled, Sarah stated, "I know you said you wanted to talk to me about something, but something happened with Katrina that I have to tell you. Tonight when we were doing the dishes she asked if she could change her name."
"What? What does she want to change it to?"
"Talbot-Dean. She said she wants the same name as everyone else. We knew this day might come, but I wasn't really prepared to give her an answer when she asked, Jamie. I told her I would talk to you about it, but that it was Samantha's and your decision."
"Oh boy. I'm not sure how Samantha is going to take this. Her name is the last piece of Stephanie Katrina has."
"I know, but if she wants it changed, the two of you should seriously consider it. I think something is bothering her. I don't know if someone at school said something or what, but she wants to fit in. When you were that age, didn't you want the same thing? Maybe it was your accident that cemented the fact that we are family, and I'm not going anywhere. The two of us have had a much better relationship because of it. Maybe she's finally seeing me as the other mother I had always hoped. Nevertheless, she asked, and I promised her I would discuss it with you. Maybe you need to talk to her and see if you can get any more details out of her."
"Yeah. If she's set on it though, it wouldn't be right to stop her from doing it. It's just going to be hard for Samantha. I know it is. I don't know how she'll take it, but if it's important to Katrina, I'll support her."
"I know you will. You're a good mother, Jamie. You always try to do what's best for the children."
Shaking her head the brunette mumbled, "That's just a bomb. You know that says a lot about how she feels for you, Sarah. Essentially she's asking to take your name. The two of you have come a long way."
Sarah nodded in agreement. "As horrible as it was, the accident is what brought us together. It was the only good thing to really become of that whole incident."
"I know," the older woman mumbled. "That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," she admitted, reaching for her wife's hand.
"What is it?" the blonde asked, intuitively sensing something was wrong.
"We've just never really talked about the accident itself. When Cara and I went to lunch together today, she could tell something was wrong, and she convinced me to talk to you about it. I just haven't, because I wanted it to be over."
"What about the accident?"
Sighing the taller woman mentioned, "Sometimes I feel guilty that the photographer chasing me was killed. It was an accident, and I didn't mean to run into him, but there are times when I think about the fact that if I hadn't hit him, he might still be alive."
"You don't know that for sure, Jamie."
"I know. I know that it was just one of those things. He was only trying to get close to me, and I didn't mean to run into him. I had just looked over my shoulder, and I swerved into him on accident. It doesn't make it any easier though."
"I suppose not," Sarah admitted. Coming to her wife's chair, she pulled the older woman into her arms. "Jamie, what happened was a horrible accident. Had he not been chasing you, you wouldn't have been hurt. You were lucky, but unfortunately he wasn't. As annoying as the paparazzi can be to us, most do it because they enjoy it. It's possible that he loved his work. That's why he chased after you on skis. No one else would have done that. Someone who didn't love what they did would never go after you trying to get the perfect shot. It was the thrill of the chase, and you gave him that until the very end. The doctors said he died instantly. He didn't suffer the way you did. He didn't even know."
"But his family knows. Somewhere out there he has a family. Did I take away someone's father or husband? Someone's son or brother? Those people are suffering because of me."
"They might be suffering, but it's not because of you, Jamie. They lost someone they loved in a terrible accident, but that kind of thing happens every day. Death is a part of life. We all have to do it at sometime. It was his time, not yours. It was not your fault, Jamie. You have to believe that."
"I know that, Sarah, but it doesn't make me feel any better," the brunette confessed.
"I know, darling. Sometimes it's hard to accept the truth, but it is the truth, and you can't go on forever thinking that you caused someone's death, because you didn't."
Jamie nodded. "I guess I just need some time to get over it. It was so traumatic for all of us, and it's just going to take awhile."
"I know, but I'm going to be here for you through it all. I love you, Jamie, and I always will," the blonde whispered, leaning to give her wife a consoling kiss.
Wrapping the younger woman in her strong arms, the brunette pulled her closer. Their mouths merged more deeply as their hands began to become more active. After several minutes Jamie pulled away enough to gaze into her lover's blue eyes. "I love you, Sarah. Thank you for standing by me through this. It's been a long few months."
"I know. It's been difficult for everyone, but we have each other. That's all we'll ever really need," the younger actress whispered. "Now I think you should take me to bed. It's been too long since I've felt you." Since the accident Jamie hadn't been very interested in sex with her beloved given her emotional baggage of the incident and her new body. To the outside world, the tall woman was her normal confident self, but Sarah knew differently. She knew Jamie was somewhat self-conscious by the way she carried herself and the vulnerability in those dark eyes. Seeing that the older woman was wavering in the request, which was actually an improvement in their physical closeness, the blonde thought she would try to push a little more. "Please, Jamie. I want to feel the weight of your body on mine. I need you inside of me," she enticed.
With growing arousal, Jamie nodded at her wife. She knew she would have to face the obstacle of being intimate with the woman she loved in her transformed body eventually, and even more, she wanted to be with Sarah desperately. Putting her fears aside, she cupped her wife's cheek. "It would be my honor to give you anything you need," she answered, allowing the shorter woman to pull her to her feet.
Together they made their way into the bedroom. Sarah got into bed first while Jamie secured the doors to their balcony. Then she moved to her side of the bed and slid under the covers. Immediately the younger woman was in her arms. Kissing her with tenderness, the brunette reached to turn off the bedside light, but petite woman stopped her.
"Leave the light on for me. I want to see you, Jamie," Sarah requested. Even though Jamie was a little self-conscious about it, she nodded her consent. Soon emotions were the driving force behind their exploration as they continued to investigate each other thoroughly. When the blonde reached to remove Jamie's t-shirt, there was slight hesitation on the brunette's part, but she was determined to give her wife everything she wanted. Once it was removed, the blonde took a moment to caress her lover's chest. It still held scars from the accident where the ski pole had punctured her skin and ripped a horrific path across her torso. Nevertheless, Sarah leaned down and kissed lightly along its path in a loving gesture. "You know, Jamie, as much fun as those diversions of yours were, I prefer you like this, because it's the real you," she confessed, cupping her wife's breasts. "I love you, and nothing can ever change that."
"I love you too, Sarah, more than life," she whispered in return before giving herself over to the pleasure that could only be found in loving each other.
The following morning Blake and Georgia were having breakfast with some of their favorite Disney characters when her cell phone rang. Being that her kids were too involved with the atmosphere though, she didn't feel it would detract from their time to answer it. "Blake Erwin," she greeted taking a sip of her coffee.
"Blake, hey. I just called your office, and they said you were out. Are you sick?" Jamie asked casually.
"No. Actually, I'm on vacation with the children and Georgia," she answered.
"You're what? How did that happen?" the actress asked in surprise.
"It's a long story. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I don't want to interrupt. I just needed some custody help with Katrina, but it can wait until you get back, I suppose."
"Are you sure? What's going on?"
"Katrina asked if she could change her name. I haven't spoken to Samantha about it yet, so I'm anxious. I have a feeling this will be difficult for her. I was just hoping it can be solved amicably. That's where you'd come in if needed. As I said though, it can wait until you get back. When are you coming home?"
"Should be home on Saturday. We'll talk when I get back. I assume you want to discuss it before talking to Samantha?"
"Yeah. I don't want to fight over Katrina, but she's asking for something that could potentially harm our relationship with Samantha. I want to try to avoid that if we can. Maybe it's time to rethink custody, but I don't want to do it without your input."
"All right. Well, we'll talk more when I get back."
"Okay. You have fun with Georgia and the kids. You'll have to tell me how that came about when you get home. I'm dying to know what's going on there."
"You and me both, Jamie. I'll tentatively schedule some time on Saturday afternoon for us."
"Sounds good. Talk to you then. Bye."
"Bye." Hanging up her phone, she was met by interested blue eyes. "Jamie sends her regards," Blake mentioned casually.
"Social call or business?" the blonde asked.
"Business."
Georgia nodded her head, knowing she could not be privy to their conversation by that declaration. Nevertheless, she inquired, "How are Jamie and Sarah? I haven't seen them since the accident."
"They're doing as well as expected I suppose. Jamie's left the movies and gone back to the stage. I actually think that will improve everyone's life. It's where she belongs. That's where her true talent lies. As for Sarah, she's only gotten more protective of her family. They've all been through so much lately. It's natural to want to protect the ones she loves. She's in a place now of trying to protect them at all costs. It's understandable."
Georgia nodded in agreement. "I should have lunch with Sarah. I've missed her company."
"I know she and Helen have both missed yours."
"How is Helen? I've been so busy with this book tour that I haven't had any decent time with her."
"She's about as good as any five-month pregnant woman could be. She and Tor are just as blissfully happy as they have ever been. Sometimes I envy that," the attorney admitted.
"Me too. They really have gotten all they have ever wanted out of life."
"And it just seemed to fall in their laps at that. Although Tor would always be the first to confess she still doesn't know how she's kept that angel all of these years. She truly believes she's the luckiest woman in the world."
"She is. Helen is like no other," Georgia conceded.
"You know, she really does miss her time with you, Georgia. I know it would mean a lot to her to spend some time with you."
"It would mean a lot to me too. I've just been hesitant. With Tor bein' your best friend and all, it's been somewhat awkward. However, Helen's always been there for me. She's one of the best friends I've ever had."
"Look, Georgia. Don't let anything stop you from being friends with Helen if that's what you want. We're all adults. If she means that much to you, don't let her go."
The blonde looked at her ex-wife contemplatively as she thought about Blake's comment. She found it odd that the attorney was giving her advice on how to mend her friendship with Helen, the wife of the attorney's own best friend. Wondering if there was more to it that the brunette wasn't saying, she looked at her kids as a signal the conversation was over for the moment.
Over the course of the next several days, the dialogues Blake and Georgia had together while in the children's company remained somewhat mysterious to the blonde. Not once did the attorney say one negative thing toward her about her or the current state of their relationship. Moreover, when it came to those people that had been closest to them when they were together, the older woman encouraged Georgia to seek out individual relationships with them, confusing her more than ever.
As for Blake she was surprised to be having the conversations she was with her ex-wife. For the first few months after their short separation and then divorce, the last thing she wanted was for the blonde to be in her life in any way other than what was court-mandated. She had maintained all the friendships while Georgia had become reclusive when it came to the relationships she had with certain people, her two favorite other couples especially. Even though it was never stated, the attorney knew their friends felt Georgia's absence the way she did. It was as if one day she had been there and the next had vanished. The notion that Blake would even try to facilitate any mending between the blonde and her other friends seemed perplexing on the surface, but secretly Blake did have other reasons.
That night at the bar together led her to make a change in the way she related to Georgia. Sitting there in that crowded bar close together sharing a simple meal gave her something she hadn't felt in a long time. She was happy for the first time since the blonde had left her. The talk, though simple, sparked something in her that hadn't been there months before. Hope sprung forth like one small flame in the darkest night, and that light had started to kindle a larger fire when the writer had mentioned the idea of the family vacation.
Even though her schedule was incredibly busy, Blake had managed to clear it in hope that what had started in that bar was truly genuine. Georgia's eyes and gentle touch gave her faith that it was, but she wanted reassurance, and she knew there would be no way to know unless she had the time alone with the woman she still loved. Now sitting together over breakfast watching their kids interact with their favorite Disney characters while they simply spoke left her with the knowledge that what she had been feeling was real.
Given that the older woman wanted to assist the writer in rebuilding what had been lost when they divorced. By giving her back those relationships that meant so much to the blonde then, she hoped the younger woman would embrace her chance to have those friendships again. Additionally, the brunette thought, if Georgia was once again friends with those she spent most of her time, they would have reason to see each other more often in nonthreatening settings, such as under Cindy's watchful eyes. It was the only thing she could think of to do short of simply requesting to spend time with her ex-wife. She didn't know if Georgia would accept if the attorney was that direct in her interest.
On the last night that the four of them were in Florida, Blake and Georgia let the kids stay up a little later than normal. However, they had them in their pajamas at the regular time and allowed them to stay up to watch one last movie before going to bed. As the four of them sat together on the plush oversized couch, the blonde thought over the trip. She and Blake's relationship had changed once again into more than the writer ever thought possible. Looking over at her on the opposite end of the couch with their children sitting haphazardly between them, Georgia realized this was what she had always wanted from the older woman. She wanted someone as interested in her family as Blake had appeared to be that entire week. She had kept her business calls to a minimum and spent the majority of her time focused on the children's desires, which in turn created desires in the younger woman.
Out of the corner of her eye, Blake could see her ex gazing at her. She knew the look in her eyes by the years they had known each other. The tender regard was a sure sign of the blonde's feelings. Deciding to test the waters, the forty-two-year-old, put her arm up on the top of the couch. Since Georgia's was already there, their forearms brushed lightly. When the younger woman didn't move, Blake knew exactly what Georgia was feeling. It was the same as her own yearning. She wanted a chance to touch the woman she loved again and began to formulate a plan to achieve that goal once their children had been put to bed for the night.
All too soon the movie was over, and both adults were taking Luke and Lana to bed. Tucking each one of them into one bed, Georgia and Blake both sat with them while the attorney and the writer took turns reading them a story. By the time that was complete, the twins were sound asleep. Blake carefully moved Luke to his own bed and then followed her ex out of the room.
Closing the door she went over to the bar to fix a drink. She needed something to take the edge off the nervousness she felt at the idea of what she was going to do. Meanwhile Georgia had disappeared into her own room, returning a few minutes later in her own conservative pajamas. "Would you like a drink?" Blake inquired over from the bar.
"Sure. That would be nice," the blonde replied, anxious now that they were alone.
Blake fixed two drinks and came back to the sofa. She strategically took a seat on the middle cushion as close to Georgia as she could without being in the younger woman's personal space. "Here you go," she presented, holding the glass up for the blonde to take.
Georgia wrapped her hand around the glass to take her beverage, hers caressing the attorney's for a brief moment as she did so. The charge at the touch was undeniable to either of them as their eyes met for a few seconds. The younger woman could plainly read the look of fervor on Blake's face, because she had seen it many times before when they had been dating and just married. It was as intoxicating at that moment as it had been back then. For Blake's part she could see those blue eyes burning for her. This was the Georgia she couldn't live without, the one who so openly wore her need on her face when she looked at the brunette.
Knowing there was no way she could refrain from the temptation in front of her, Blake leaned toward Georgia with the intent on seeing if the blonde was receptive. She was immediately surprised but thrilled that the writer's mouth cohered to her own within a moment. Both of them moaned loudly at the feeling. The kiss that both of them wanted was happening, and neither wanted to be the first to break it. They let it linger as long as they could before breaking for air, but before either of them had sufficient breath their lips were melded together again, however this time with less hesitation and more ardor. Georgia's head was spinning as she held Blake tightly with one arm around her back. The attorney's touch was even more ardent than she remembered, and for several minutes she didn't want it to end. Letting herself go, she embraced the attorney around the back with her other arm that was still holding her glass. Feeling the writer's body growing more amorous in her arms, the brunette shifted her weight, so they were reclining together, Georgia's small frame under Blake's. For several minutes the intensity grew but suddenly the attorney yelped as she felt cold liquid sliding down her back. Pulling away slightly she realized Georgia had accidentally tipped her drink and laughed lightly.
"I'm sorry, Blake," Georgia offered tentatively.
"It's okay. I'll just take it off," the taller woman stated, removing her shirt with one swift movement.
Georgia gulped hard at the sight of her ex-wife's body. Even though she still remembered what it looked like, seeing it after such an extended absence made it feel like the first time all over again. Knowing that they were moving in a direction that could not be reversed, Georgia tried to clear her mind as Blake leaned down to her mouth again. However, it was impossible to think coherently with the way the older woman was making her feel. Luckily just as the two of them began to become more involved, Georgia heard noise coming from the children's room, forcing them to stop.
Blake was reluctant to let the blonde go, but she knew one of the kids needed something. While the writer was gone, the attorney simply sat on the couch shirtless, trying to clear her mind. She knew the two of them were doing something that could be potentially damaging to their tentative reconnection, but she knew Georgia was feeling the same she was. A few minutes later the blonde closed the door to her children's room and then looked at Blake. The attorney was still on the couch. Even though the body she fantasized about was on clear display for her, Georgia was in more control than she had been before, and her mind convinced her that what they were doing wasn't what was best for their relationship. Just by the look in those blue eyes, Blake knew the moment between them was over and sighed.
"I think I'm just goin' to go to bed," the blonde mentioned. "Tomorrow's goin' to be a long day."
Blake nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I guess we need our rest."
One more awkward moment passed between them before Georgia said, "Well, good night, Blake."
"Night, Georgia." Blake sighed loudly when the blonde closed her bedroom door, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She knew that what she had been working hard to rebuild had just been demolished with the incident between them and wondered how it would affect their relationship now that each of them knew the attraction was still there.
When the blonde closed her bedroom door, she just stood there against it for several minutes. The trip had just taken an unexpected twist between them that left her more confused than she had ever been when it came to the attorney. Blake's desire for her was obvious, and she had laid hers bare to her ex-wife as well, which made her wonder what was going to happen now. She did want to be with Blake again, but she only wanted it if things were different between them. She knew she couldn't go back to the way their relationship was before the infamous trip to New Orleans. Changes had to be made, or the blonde knew it would never work, but the question remained if the attorney was willing to restructure her life to be more inclusive of her and the kids. Knowing nothing would be resolved that night, she retired to her bed more aroused and sexually frustrated than she had been in the last year, leaving her no other option but to finish in her mind what had started on the sofa between them.
The next morning by the time Georgia had dressed and packed her bags, Blake had already done the same plus gotten the children's bags packed as well. Not knowing what to expect from the attorney after the incident, the blonde issued a neutral greeting, which was returned in the same manner, making her realize the older woman didn't know what to say any more than she did. They didn't speak much through breakfast or the ride to the airport, so Georgia assumed Blake just didn't want to talk about what had transpired and respectfully kept her distance. On the plane ride, they only spoke when necessary and the behavior continued when they landed at the airport. Knowing Blake had a meeting with Jamie, she tentatively offered to take the kids with her, so the attorney could get to her office, to which the brunette agreed.
Blake arrived at her office shortly before five that Saturday evening. Even though it was the weekend, the office still had quite a few co-workers milling around and taking care of projects. They all greeted their boss and one of the partners cheerfully and inquired curiously about the infamous trip the whole office seemed to know about, but Blake only responded in depth to her trusted friend, Jeff. They were casually discussing the turn of events when Jamie's presence was announced by the weekend receptionist.
When the actress arrived in her friend's office, she could tell something was wrong with the attorney, so after a brief greeting and hug, she inquired, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Blake laughed lightly at her perceptive friend. "I thought you were here to get my advice, not give me some. At least that's what I'm charging you for you know."
"Blake, I've known you a long time. I know something is going on with you. This past week had to be interesting for you. Do you want to talk about it or not? I won't force you, but I'm here, so you might as well spill it."
Shrugging the attorney said, "All right. The past week with Georgia was definitely enlightening for me. We had a wonderful time with the kids and even got along extremely well. We never argued or were short with each other. It was perfect until last night."
"What happened?"
"I did something I shouldn't have I suppose, and now she won't even talk to me really."
"What did you do?"
"Well, we were on the couch, and I thought I saw her looking at me in such a way that caused me to lean over to kiss her."
"And? Did she rebuff you? Was she mad?" Jamie inquired.
"Not exactly."
"Then what? Come on, Blake. Just tell me," the younger brunette pestered.
"We started kissing, and it was great. It was everything I remember but better. We were well on our way to reuniting at least physically but were interrupted by the kids. By the time she came back from attending to them, she had closed herself off again. There I was sitting half naked on the hotel couch just looking at her. She looked as helpless and frustrated as I did, but she just left me sitting there. Now today she won't even talk to me. I really screwed this up."
"What are you talking about, Blake? What did you screw up? You're already divorced. It's not like you want to reconcile. You both just had a momentary lapse in judgment."
"Well, that's just it, Jamie. I'm not so sure I was right to ask for a divorce now. I think I may have acted rashly, because I was angry."
"Are you saying you still love her?" the actress inquired in surprised interest.
"I never stopped loving her, Jamie. Even when I was at my angriest, I still loved her under it all. I just let other things get in the way, but I'm not so sure she feels the same. I mean, I suppose she at least feels the attraction between us still, but as far as starting over, I can't really ask her to do that, especially after all the horrible things I've done."
"Wow. This is certainly a surprise. I thought you were enjoying being single again. I mean, you were out all the time."
"Yeah. Well, that's only because I didn't want to be alone in the loft thinking about all that had gone wrong between us. I just don't know what to do."
"Well, it's always possible she feels the same, Blake. If she was actively participating in your impromptu make-out session, there has to be a part of her that still feels something for you. Georgia's not the kind of girl to do that casually. You should know that by now. My guess is that she's still in love with you as well but is afraid."
Shrugging the attorney mentioned, "Well, at this point we can't even seem to speak to each other, so it's a little difficult to get to the issue. Maybe in time there will be a chance, but for now I guess I just have to deal the best I can. Anyway, you didn't come here to talk about me. Let's talk about your situation. You said Katrina wanted to change her name?"
"Yeah. Sarah said she asked her about it, so I had a talk with her. I suppose she's getting to that age where fitting in matters. It's been hard for her since Sarah and I had Stephen. I really think she wants to do this to feel more a part of the family. I mean, she's the only one that isn't a Talbot-Dean. I asked her if she had really thought about what she was asking. She would be giving up her mother's name, but she's thought of how she wanted to handle that as well. She told me she wanted Taylor as a second middle name. I truly think this is what she wants by the thought she's put into it."
"And how does Samantha feel about this?" the attorney asked professionally.
"I haven't told her yet. I wanted to talk to you first. This is something that you can do fairly easily, isn't it?"
"Of course. It's not that difficult, but I think there is a greater issue involved. By changing Katrina's name, you are laying the foundation of possibly petitioning for full custody. Is that where this is going? The reason I ask is because Samantha is probably going to see it that way. I believe that's your reservation in talking to her, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I know she's going to see it that way, and I don't say that I would blame her. After all that has happened, I think the last thing she wants is to give up custody of Katrina, but I truly believe it would be better for Katrina if she did. Sarah has proven that she's quite capable of providing for Katrina's physical and emotional well-being. I think it would make Sarah happier as well."
"Well, are you prepared to say that to Samantha? She could disagree, and it could become a point of contention between the two of you. Are you prepared to take her to court over the matter?"
"I don't know. I am hoping we can work this out amiably before doing something of that nature. But what if it did go that far? Would Sarah and I have a chance or not?"
Blake shrugged. "It's hard to say. The political landscape is making the courts uncertain right now. You might get an activist judge that is willing to side with you. On the other hand, you might get someone so conservative that they would recommend Katrina be placed with Samantha permanently. You don't want that. I would strongly suggest the two of you settle this out of court. I really don't think either one of you wants to put the other in that position. To me it's not worth destroying your relationship. I know it's the most important one you have outside of the one with Sarah."
"That's true. I don't want to fight with Samantha. I just want what is best for Katrina. Hopefully I can get her to see things my way. Well, I guess that's all. Thanks for listening."
"That's what you pay me for, my friend," Blake teased, coming around and hugging the younger woman.
"I know. Good luck with Georgia. Let me know how it goes."
"I will. Now get out of here. I know you'd prefer to be with that precious family of yours instead of me. At least if I were you, that's what I'd want."
Heading home Jamie knew she was going to have to confront Samantha on the issue soon. Deciding it would be better just o get it over with, she went to her former sister-in-law's house before her own. "Jamie, hey. How are you?" the redhead asked with her usual hug as she and Doug tended to their kids, preparing them for dinner.
"Hey. I didn't mean to catch you at dinner. There is just something I need to talk to you about, Samantha. When you're finished, can we go somewhere to talk?"
"Go somewhere?" Samantha repeated. Jamie knew by the tone of the redhead's voice she was confused. Jamie had never requested them leave for any serious discussions, but she nodded her head anyway. "Sure. Why don't I come over after dinner?"
"Fine. I'll be waiting," the actress replied. Going to her own home, she was greeted by her own children and her wife.
Sarah saw the distress in her eyes immediately, though and asked, "What's wrong?"
"I'm going to have that conversation with Samantha after dinner. I just don't know how it's going to go."
"Well, I'm sure it'll be fine. You two have always been able to talk about things. Why don't you just relax until then? I'm making dinner."
"I'll help you," Jamie offered. By the time their meal was prepared, and Sarah had set the table, Samantha was already there. Seeing that they were about to eat though, she offered to come back later, but Jamie only stated, "That's all right. I'd rather do this now anyway."
As the two women walked out of the house, Samantha asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"How about the pier? We can sit and look out at the water," the brunette suggested.
"Fine."
Neither spoke for their entire walk. Finding a spot to sit when they got to the pier though, Jamie sighed. Not meeting the redhead's eyes, she stated, "I don't know how to say you this, Samantha. There's something I have to tell you, but it's going to be hard for both of us."
"You know you can tell me anything. We're family, Jamie."
"I know. That's what makes this so difficult. I don't want to hurt you."
Touching Jamie on the arm, Samantha asked, "What is it?"
Not knowing a tactful way to approach the topic, Jamie just decided to tell Samantha the absolute truth. Sighing she answered, "Katrina has asked that we change her name. She wants the last name of Talbot-Dean, Samantha. I've talked to her about it in depth, and she's sure it's what she wants."
Silence followed for several moments. However, then Samantha said, "I suppose if that's what she truly wants it would be wrong for me to deny her."
"I know it's hard, Samantha. I wasn't really sure this would ever been an issue, but now that it is, I think it's best that we resolve it as quickly as we can for her benefit. She still wants Taylor as a part of her name. It's just that she wants to have the same last name as the rest of the family."
Samantha nodded her head and was silent for a few moments. However, Jamie could see that the woman she cared so deeply for was beginning to cry. Trying to lend her support, she slipped her arms around the redhead, who instantly came into her embrace, placing her head on Jamie's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I always wondered if this might happen, and I thought I would be prepared."
"I know. I feel the same way."
"She's my sister's daughter. I don't want her to lose sight of that."
"I know, but she's also my daughter, Samantha, and I want to do what's best for her. I think this will improve her esteem and her relationships with Sarah, Eve, and Stephen. I honestly do, and it's important to me that all my children get along. Changing her name won't change who she truly is, Samantha. We both know that."
"I do know that. It's just hard. Katrina is the last thing I have of my sister," the older woman cried.
With that comment, Jamie knew the next thing she wanted to asked Samantha would be the most difficult conversation they had ever had. Nevertheless, she felt it best to be completely honest with the woman she loved like a sister. Taking a deep breath, the actress stated, "There is something else I wanted to ask of you."
"What's that?"
"I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I'm wondering if it would be better if Sarah and I had custody of Katrina," she proposed hesitantly.
Samantha took her head of Jamie's shoulder and looked into her dark eyes seriously. "What? You're asking me to give up custody?"
"I'm asking you to consider what might be best for her. Samantha, a year ago I wasn't so keen on the idea, but after all that has happened, I feel it's worth considering. If something were to happen to me, I'd want Katrina to be with her brother and sister. I wouldn't want them separated."
"What does Sarah say about this?"
"She thinks it's worth consideration as well," the brunette answered, not giving Samantha all the information she and the blonde had discussed over the past year.
"And Katrina? What is her stance?"
"We haven't spoken to her about it. This is between you and me, Samantha. I don't want to fight with you in court or at home even. I just want us to be able to talk about this openly. I want my daughter to feel like she belongs. That's what this is about mostly. Also, I want her to be protected should something happen to me. Sarah will be the executor of my estate should it come to that and will always have an interest in what's best for Katrina. Neither of you is going away from my life, but I just feel it might be better for Katrina if she could feel a part of one cohesive family instead of divided between two. That's all I'm saying, Samantha."
"What you're asking of me, Jamie, is almost impossible for me to get my mind around. I never thought you'd request this," Samantha confessed.
"It is difficult for me to ask this of you, Samantha. I never thought I would, but life has changed."
"Tell me this, Jamie. What should become of Katrina should you and Sarah divorce? Have you thought about that?"
"Sarah and I are married for life, Samantha. She's not going anywhere," the younger woman defensively rebutted.
"How do you know?" challenged the redhead.
Growling in frustration Jamie replied, "Because I know!"
"Well, I don't. I don't want Katrina to have to be torn between two houses then, one of which belongs to a woman she's not even related to."
"Sarah is Katrina's stepmother. She loves her, and she would always do what's best for Katrina. Don't make Sarah out to be a bad person, because she's not, Samantha! You know that!"
Samantha sighed. "I never said she was, Jamie. This is just not something you can expect me to agree with. I've raised my niece since before Stephanie even died. I was the one that took care of her while my sister lay dying in the hospital. I'm the one Katrina clung to for support while you were out making your career, and I did it because I love her and you. She knows I'm always here for her. You know I'll always be there for her. Between you, Sarah, and me I've spent more time with that child than the two of you combined. I think it would be more harmful than helpful to have that taken away. I know her mind and her heart, Jamie. This is not what's best for her. It's what's best for you."
Hearing the words Samantha had spoken, the brunette angrily stood. She took several paces in front of the bench of where the redhead sat as she contemplated what the older woman had just said. "You know, I haven't always physically been there for Katrina, but I love her with all that I am. She's my daughter. From the moment she was born, she's brought me the greatest happiness. I just want her to be happy, Samantha. If I can help her achieve that, I will. I think she's showing the signs that this might be the right course of action. I mean, after all, a name change is a serious matter. She wants to take Sarah's name. To me that means she has come to accept her as her second mother. Given that, I think it only fair to entertain the possibility of the next natural step of giving Sarah the rights and responsibility that comes with gaining another child in name. That's my point, Samantha."
Samantha was quiet a moment, signaling she was mulling over the statements. She sighed after a few minutes. "You know what, Jamie? This isn't something that we can decide over one conversation. Why don't we just let it lie for now? We've both said our preliminary feelings on the matter. Why don't we just think over the other's positions for a few days and then talk again? Maybe we'll have to simply ask Katrina what she wants," the older woman proposed.
Knowing that it was probably a wise idea, Jamie nodded her consent. With that her former sister-in-law came to embrace her. "I don't want to fight with you, Samantha. I love you too much for this to damage our relationship."
"I know. I don't want that either. I love you, too, Jamie, and I always will."
Both of them were quiet as they looked out over the water. Minutes passed before Jamie whispered, "You know, sometimes when I hold you it feels like I'm holding Stephanie."
"Big surprise there," the redhead quipped lightly.
"There are times when I still miss her. No one other than Sarah knows me as well as she did."
"I know. You're lucky to have found a second chance at love, Jamie. Sarah truly is perfect for you."
"I am lucky." Breaking away from each other finally, the actress mentioned, "We should get back. I'll call Blake tomorrow about the name change, so she can begin the paperwork. The rest we'll talk about more later."
"Sounds like a plan. Come on now. Let's get back to our families," Samantha stated, taking her former sister-in-law's hand.
Heading back into the house after seeing Samantha safely to hers, Jamie was met by her family sitting in the living room together. Eve was enthralled in a cartoon while Sarah held Stephen and read, and Katrina sat talking on the phone.
"How did things go?" the blonde inquired.
"All right I suppose. It wasn't the easiest of conversations." Looking at her daughter, she said, "Katrina, I want to talk to you. Hang up please."
Katrina did as she was told. Both of them went into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. "What is it, Mom?"
"I just talked to Samantha regarding your request to change your name. She's agreed to let you do it if it's what you truly want. However, I want you think really think about this. Is this something you really want to do? There is no changing your mind?"
"No. I want to do this," Katrina answered.
"All right. Then I'm going to call Blake tomorrow to start this process. However, if you change your mind between now and when the papers have to be signed, I want you to tell me. Don't be afraid to say you've changed your mind, because this is a serious change, and we're not taking it lightly. You shouldn't either. Know that you're making the right choice before it's too late. Okay?"
"Okay, Mom."
Reaching for her daughter, Jamie enveloped her in a long hug. "I love you, sweetie."
"I love you too, Mom. May I go now?"
"Sure."
Later that night as Jamie and Sarah were getting ready for bed, the blonde inquired, "Do you want to talk about how it went with Samantha?"
"Well, it was tough, Sarah. I had a hard time asking her about the name change, but she agreed to let Katrina do it if it was what she really wanted. I also asked her to consider giving us full custody of her."
"Really? I thought you were against it. What did she say?"
"I was against it, but I think the idea has merit now. She didn't quite see it the same way though. It's going to be a battle to get it done, but we've both agreed to think about the other's opinion and talk again. I don't want to go to court over it, and even more Blake says our chances for winning aren't great, so I'd like to be able to just convince her without taking that route."
"Do you think you're going to be able to do that?"
"I'm not sure. She brought up some valid points, but I think I did as well. It's just going to be a slow process for us to decide. It's not going to get done any time soon. We just have to be patient with each other. We all want what is best for Katrina, so if we can just keep that in mind, I think we'll come to the right decision together."
"I hope so. I just want Katrina to be happy."
Smiling at her wife, the brunette replied, "That's what we all want, and we'll make it happen. I'm sure of it."
The next day Torrance and Helen left Marta and John in the care of the photographer's mother, who had come down for a long weekend, to go to a doctor's appointment. So far the blonde's pregnancy had gone smoothly, which was a great relief to them both, especially after the miscarriage. Arriving for their appointment, they made themselves comfortable in the waiting room. Helen looked at her wife as she thought about all the things they had on the agenda that day. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of shopping with her beloved for furniture for the baby's room.
Meeting eyes with the shorter woman, Torrance gave a brilliant smile as she placed a hand over Helen's tummy. At the end of her second trimester, the younger woman was glowing as she had with her other two. "You okay?" she asked gently.
"I couldn't be more perfect," she answered, taking her lover's hand.
"Good. You know we promised we'd talk about baby names today. Have you come up with any more?"
Helen shook her head. "Not yet. You?"
"I'm still at a loss. Being that this is our last one, I want it to be a perfect name."
Chuckling the blonde inquired, "Are you suggesting our other two children don't have perfect names?"
"Not at all. They are aptly named. I just want this one to have the same."
"Well, we'll think of it. It's not like we don't have time."
"True."
A few minutes later they were called back for Helen's examination. Taking her usual seat, Torrance waited while her wife undressed and took a seat on the table. Neither spoke, but as always, it was a comfortable silence between them. When their doctor arrived, they immediately started on the exam as they chatted about plans for the rest of the day. However, once the doctor had done a thorough checkup, she furrowed her brows at the couple.
"Something wrong?" Torrance asked in concern, seeing the face.
"It's a little too soon to tell. Helen, how much activity have you been doing lately?"
"Nothing more than usual. I'm with the kids all day. Why?"
"Well, your blood pressure is a little higher than I'd like. I think you should cut back on your exertion. I wouldn't want anything to jeopardize a full-term pregnancy. It's just a precaution."
"Fine. If that's what she has to do," Torrance answered.
Helen looked at her wife and then back at her doctor. "When you say cut back, what exactly does that mean?"
"Just not going out as much, staying at home and off your feet if you can."
"And if I do that, things will be all right?"
"Well, let me put it to you this way. High blood pressure is extremely dangerous to the mother during delivery. We want to avoid that if at all possible. That's why I think it's best for you to stay off your feet and just rest. I don't want any complications."
Nodding her head, the former model mentioned, "If that's what it takes."
"Good. Don't worry. You'll be fine," the doctor assured.
Leaving the appointment the taller woman could tell her wife was concerned about the precaution she had been given. In order to try to cheer her up, she said, "Before we go shopping, I'm taking you to Georgia's for lunch. I figured we hadn't been there in awhile."
"That'll be nice, honey," the younger woman answered, her words not quite sounding sincere.
"Helen, it'll be fine. You'll see. We just have to keep you off your feet. I'll cancel all my photo shoots for the summer, so I can spend it chasing after the kids. That way you can rest."
"Thanks, Torrance. You're always so good to me," the blonde said with a smile.
"Anything for you, Helen. You're my life, and I intend to keep you healthy."
When the couple arrived at Georgia's restaurant, they were seated immediately. The older woman could tell her wife was still bothered by the news they had received, so she decided to spring the surprise on her that she had originally wanted to give her later that day. After they had ordered, the photographer reached across the table for her beloved's hands.
Helen smiled into her favorite green eyes. "What? You have that look in your eyes," she teased.
"There's something I wanted to ask you," the brunette stated with a smile.
"What's that?"
Pulling a small box from her pocket, the older woman opened it and placed it on the table before inquiring, "Would you marry me again?"
"What?"
"Would you renew your vows with me, Helen? I'd like to renew our vows. It's the perfect time. Once the baby is born, our family will be complete, and I'd really like to have a ceremony with our children to celebrate our relationship and how much joy they've brought us."
"Oh, Torrance, you're so sweet, you romantic fool. I would love to renew our vows. Nothing would give me greater honor."
"Great. I thought we could do it on our anniversary. I already took the liberty of checking with the minister who did our ceremony originally. It's a perfect day for it."
"Yes, definitely. I'm just not sure I could travel far with the newborn. The birth date and our anniversary is a week apart."
"I know, but I thought maybe we could do it at home. We could have a little ceremony on the beach with our family and closest friends. It's going to be much more like we had originally intended when we got married the first time. What do you say? You won't even have to plan it if it's going to put stress on you. I'll take care of the whole thing."
Smiling at her wife, Helen answered teasingly, "Sounds like you have it all worked out. So sure I was going to say yes, were you?"
"I would have been devastated had you not."
"Well, fortunately for you, I would do anything to make you happy, Torrance. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Helen. Here. I know you can't wear this right now with the weight you've gained, but I want you to have it now anyway," she mentioned, taking the ring out of the box and handing it to the blonde.
"It's beautiful, Torrance. Thank you. I can't wait to wear it, but let me keep it in the box for now, so I don't lose it," she said, putting the ring back in its box. "Will you hold it for me?"
"Of course," the brunette answered with a smile as she took the box from her beloved's grasp and tucked it back into her pocket. Taking the blonde's hand, she kissed the back of it in affection as she whispered, "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being the best thing that's ever happened to me," Torrance said sincerely.
Blushing lightly the tall blonde smiled. Not knowing what else to say, she merely avowed, "I love you, Torrance, and I always will."
******************************************************************
In the third week of August of that year, Torrance and Helen decided to have a get- together for some of their close friends. The blonde was almost full-term at that point but determined to have at least one fun afternoon after spending her summer off her feet per the doctor's orders. She had talked so excitedly about the idea several weeks prior that the photographer had reluctantly agreed. She knew the blonde had done her best to stay to a strict regimen during the final term of her pregnancy but that the younger woman was stir-crazy. They hadn't done their typical summer outings, so Torrance was willing to concur with the idea of a pool party for their friends and kids.
However as they awoke that morning, a steady rain had started, making them wonder if they should just cancel the event. "We can do this some other time," the older woman proposed.
"No. The kids are excited about playing with their friends. Even if we can't be in the pool, there is plenty of space in the game room. Besides we already have all the food. Let's just stick with the plan," Helen debated shortly.
Hearing a stinging tone in her wife's voice, Torrance looked at the blonde quizzically. Helen didn't usually have such a timbre in her language, so the taller woman was concerned something could be wrong. Tentatively she questioned, "Are you all right, honey?"
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You don't sound fine. What's the matter?"
Shrugging the smaller woman answered, "I'm a little tired is all. I just need to rest awhile."
"Helen, why don't we just cancel the party? It's clear you aren't yourself today."
"No. Jamie and Blake are going to come with all their kids. If anything it'll be a chance for us to relax and let them watch over John and Marta for awhile."
"If you're sure," Torrance hesitantly mentioned.
"I'm sure, Torrance. It'll be fine. You'll see."
"All right. Then why don't you stay up here and rest? I'll get the kids ready for the day and start preparing the food."
"I can help."
"No. You stay off your feet. The doctor said that's what was best for you."
Sighing the former teacher mumbled, "I'll be so glad to have this baby, so I can get back to my life."
"It's just a few more days, love, and you'll have your wish," Torrance said, kissing her wife on the head. Rising from bed Torrance went into the bathroom for a shower. She had only been in there a few minutes when the door opened and a naked smiling blonde stepped in to meet her. Grinning in return the older woman said, "Well, this certainly is a nice surprise."
"It'll be awhile before we can do this again, so I thought I might as well enjoy it while I can," Helen answered, bringing her arms around her lover's neck.
Torrance in turn loosely slipped her arms around the blonde's body. They stood in silence for a moment enjoying the feel of each other before the photographer picked up the younger woman's shampoo. Pouring it into her hand, she began to gently lather it into blonde tresses. Not a word was spoken between them, but it was clear that the shorter woman was relishing the attention. After shampoo and conditioner had been applied, the older woman caressed her wife's body as she leisurely bathed her, touching her in the most reverent of ways as she thoroughly washed her beloved's form.
When she was finished, Helen took the older woman's shampoo as she whispered, "My turn." Torrance allowed the blonde to give her the same treatment. However, as Helen's hands trailed between the brunette's thighs, the older woman leaned down to kiss her. Quickly their intimacy escalated, and it was only moments before Torrance was begging for release from her wife's talented hands.
With a dazed and satisfied gaze, the older woman murmured, "God, you're beautiful. I wish I could return the favors."
"Me too. I can't wait for that, but it's going to be a few months."
Moaning sexually Torrance muttered, "And you'll be breast-feeding. Your breasts are so sensitive then. I forgot about that. Just the slightest touch can make you amorous." The brunette's hands went to the objects of discussion and ran her thumbs across the peaks.
Helen whimpered. "Maybe you could just kneel down and say hello," she suggested.
Smirking the older woman did as was asked of her. Getting on her knees, she kissed Helen's thighs gently before settling her head where the blonde wanted it. Methodically she worshiped the younger woman's body. She knew she had to be careful with her wife, so she intentionally didn't try to bring her to orgasm, just give her pleasure.
Both of them were getting carried away with the feeling, but suddenly Helen asked, "Stop, Torrance. I'm getting light-headed."
"All right. Let's get you out of the shower then," the photographer stated quickly in agreement. Escorting her lover out of the shower, she wrapped her in her favorite robe and sent her back to bed. Torrance in the meantime dressed. By the time she had returned to the bedroom, Helen was asleep again. The older woman smiled at her wife before going off to wake her children.
Later that afternoon Jamie arrived with Katrina, Eve, and Stephen in the middle of a storm. Sarah had left on a movie shoot, so she hadn't been able to make it, but the Talbot-Deans were nevertheless excited to be playing with their friends. Shortly after that Blake arrived with her twins. Since she and Georgia had returned from Florida, their relationship had been awkward but civil. Georgia was due to return that evening and would be joining them later if she felt up to it. Torrance, John, and Marta greeted all of them warmly and then moved into the game room where Helen was lounging on the sofa. She smiled at her friends and received their hugs, but the photographer could tell she just wasn't herself.
Settling the children with a movie and some games, the three brunettes moved into the kitchen to work on their meal. "This weather really sucks," Jamie mentioned.
"Yeah. Maybe it'll clear up later. I know the kids really want to go swimming," Torrance mentioned.
"Hey, Tor, is everything okay?" Blake asked. "Helen doesn't seem right today."
"She's just tired. She's only a couple of days from her due date, and she's uncomfortable and cranky."
"Would she rather us not be here? We don't have to stay," the attorney mentioned.
"She's the one that insisted you still come. Don't worry about her. She just needs to relax."
"Well, in that case, I'll go keep an eye on the kids," Jamie stated helpfully, returning to where the seven of them were.
Blake looked at her long-time friend. "Are you sure that's all?"
"That's what she says. I'm not convinced though."
"Neither am I, my friend. Well, at the first sign of her getting tired, just let me know, and we'll be out of here."
"Thanks, Blake. For now though, let's get this lunch ready. Hopefully by then the rain will have passed. Tell me how things are with Georgia."
The older woman shrugged. "Still awkward. It's strange though. We're completely courteous to each other, but when I look at her, I see what we always had. We look at each other like the interest is there, but we're not quite sure how to approach each other. I feel like I did when we first met, except now we have Lana and Luke. It's our one link that keeps us tied together. We both use them as a crutch."
"Do you think the two of you can reconcile? Do you want to?"
"I don't know. I know I want her. I want her the way I always have, but as far as being married again, I don't know if that's possible."
"So where does that leave you? You want to bed her but not be married to her? Blake, you have the twins to consider."
"I know, which is why I haven't made any sort of advance since we came back from Florida. I realized then that to indulge in her body yet not be committed wouldn't be what's best for the kids."
"And she would never go for that either. Georgia wants to be married before being with someone like that again. Now that she has the kids, her outlook on life has changed. You two just need to swallow your pride and work towards reconciliation is what it sounds like."
"Well, I don't think either of us is ready for that. Besides, changes need to be made or else we'll just go down the same path and end in divorce again. I don't want to go through that ever again."
"I understand."
Shaking her head the attorney mumbled, "No, we're better on this course right now until we figure out what's meant to be."
"Well, I wish you luck, Blake. I know you still love her, but there's more to marriage than love."
"I know. Jamie and Sarah are proof of that. They've had some problems but have managed to work through it all. I wasn't so sure for awhile they were going to make it."
Torrance nodded her head. "Luckily they did. Now it's time to focus on you."
"Yeah, I know. Enough about Georgia, though. The sooner we get the kids fed, the better off we'll be. How can I help?"
Lunch that day consisted of hamburgers and hot dogs since it was what John and Marta had wanted on the menu. As the group sat around the table, the kids monopolized the conversation as they chatted about swimming. Torrance looked at her wife. Helen still seemed lethargic but didn't ask to be excused, so the photographer assumed she wife was all right. Luckily after lunch the weather had let up enough to go out to the pool. Each woman was in charge of her own kids, getting them ready and them taking them outside. Torrance took care of her own two while sending the blonde out to take residence in her favorite lounger.
For the next several hours the three brunettes played with the seven children while Helen sat in the shade and read. However, after awhile the blonde asked if the children wanted some ice cream. There was a resounding yes to the suggestion, so Torrance offered to get it for them. Moving into the house, the photographer opened the freezer to find that Helen's favorite was missing. Thinking she might like some though, she ducked her head outside.
"We don't have the flavor that I want. I'm just going to run up to the store quickly."
"Why? Just choose another flavor, Torrance," the blonde complained.
"It's your favorite that's missing, love," she teased.
"Oh, well in that case, I'll be right here when you get back," Helen said with a smile at her beloved.
"Kids, what flavors of ice cream do you want?" Torrance inquired. Making a mental list of what was requested, she kissed Helen on the head and said, "I'll be right back."
Once she was gone, Helen turned to her company. "Jamie, Blake, do you all want anything from the house? I'm going in for a drink."
"I'm fine. Thanks, Helen," the attorney answered.
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks anyway."
Leaving the two brunettes in charge of the kids, the blonde went inside. Turning to Blake Jamie asked, "What's going on with Helen?"
"I don't know. Tor says she doesn't feel well."
"She doesn't look quite right either."
"Well, she is only days away from delivering. We probably wouldn't feel that good either."
"True," Jamie answered with a grin.
Focusing on the kids, both brunettes lost track of the fact that Helen didn't return after a few minutes. It was only when John asked where she had gone that they noticed. Thinking it best to go check on her friend, Blake said, "I'll go see where she is. Can you handle the seven of them?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine for a few minutes."
With a nod the eldest brunette moved back into the house. "Helen," she called, heading toward the kitchen. There was no response at first. Coming into the kitchen area, Blake called again. This time she heard her name being faintly whispered from somewhere on the other side of the large island in the middle of the kitchen. "Helen?" she questioned in concern as she rounded the obstacle to find the blonde sitting on the floor. "Helen, are you all right?"
The younger woman shook her head. "My water broke. I need to go to the hospital."
"All right. Why don't I call Tor? She'll come home and pick you up," the attorney suggested.
Adamantly shaking her head, Helen muttered, "No. I need to go now, Blake. I need you to take me."
Sensing that the blonde was in distress, the older woman thought it best to do what was requested of her. "Okay. Just let me tell Jamie where we're going. Hold on for me." Helen nodded feebly but remained in her position on the kitchen floor. Meanwhile, Blake rushed outside. "Jamie, I'm taking Helen to the hospital. Her water just broke, and she doesn't want to wait. Can you watch the kids?"
"Yeah. Sure. No problem."
Looking at the children collectively, the attorney said, "All of you be good for your Aunt Jamie and do as you're told." Moving back into the house, she went to where Helen was still on the floor. "Here, Helen. Let me help you up." Gently the attorney picked the blonde up and assisted her to her feet. "Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?"
"I think I can walk," she answered.
"Okay. Lean on me. I'll put you in the car and then get your overnight bag." Once the two of them were in the car, Blake called the photographer.
"What's up, Blake? You have more to add to the list?" she teased lightly.
"Forget the ice cream, Tor. Helen's water broke, and I'm taking her to the hospital. We need you to meet us there."
"Is she okay?" the younger brunette asked.
"I'm not sure. Just drop everything and meet us there, will you?"
"Yeah. I'm on my way."
Closing her phone, the older woman looked over at her friend. The blonde looked uncomfortable. In an effort to extend her comfort, Blake gently placed her hand on the blonde's thigh. Instantly Helen grabbed it, intertwining her fingers with the brunette's. "Tell me what I can do for you, Helen. You need more air? You want the windows down?"
"I'm just nauseated, and these contractions are a lot closer together than I expected them to be," she managed to answer.
"All right. Just close your eyes. We'll be there soon."
"That doesn't help. Makes me feel worse," the younger woman said. "I just need Torrance."
"She's on her way to the hospital. She'll meet us there. Just hold on for me. Everything will be fine."
Nodding her head, Helen smiled at her wife's best friend, a dear friend of her own. "Thanks for being here, Blake."
Casting a bright smile of her own, the attorney teased, "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my favorite blonde."
Helen chuckled lightly. "Favorite blonde, huh? I think there's one blonde that you like more than me. Am I right?"
"Luke? Well, maybe," the taller woman joked, knowing full well it wasn't her son to which Helen was referring.
"You might be able to hide your feelings for Georgia from everyone else, but I see them, Blake. I know you love her still even after all that's happened between you. The two of you fight hard, but I have heard that you also love hard. It's just the nature of your relationship. If you put fire and dynamite together, you're going to have an explosion, but instead of destroying things, the two of you need to learn how to channel that for a better purpose. You're both so strong-willed and hard-headed, but I know for a fact that you love her. I knew it when it first happened, and I know it now. I just wish that you two would swallow this pride you both have and look into each other's eyes. If you did, you would see what I do, two women still madly in love."
"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Blake joked, trying desperately not to acknowledge the fact that her friend was right.
The rest of the short drive between them was quiet. When they arrived, Torrance wasn't there yet, so Blake helped Helen check in, but by that time the photographer came rushing down the corridor toward them. Kneeling down in front of her wife, who had taken a seat in a wheelchair for comfort, the brunette looked at her in concern. "You okay, darling?"
Helen smiled at her wife as she cupped her face. "I am now that you're here, love."
The three women made their way to the blonde's room. Once Helen was settled, Blake asked, "Do you two want to be alone?"
"No. You can hang around for awhile," Torrance answered. "Is Jamie with the kids?"
"Yeah. Let me call and check on them to make sure everything is okay." Leaving the room to do just that, Blake left Torrance and Helen to themselves.
Gazing down at her wife, the photographer sensed some uneasiness from the blonde. "Helen, are you sure everything is fine?"
"I just feel differently than with John and Marta. Something's different. I was never this nauseated."
Torrance nodded in understanding. Even though she didn't know what she could do to help, she stood by her and held her hand in silence. Several minutes later a nurse came into the room to take her vitals. After doing the usual routine, she turned to them and mentioned, "Your blood pressure is quite elevated."
"Yeah. That's been an issue for her through most of the last trimester," the brunette mentioned. "That's not a problem, is it?"
"It's a concern, but a lot of women can have it. I wouldn't worry about it right now. The doctor will be able to tell you the best course of action for it. For now just relax. Your doctor should be here shortly."
By the time Blake had returned, her friends were settled for their wait. "The kids are fine. Jamie has them all in the game room with movies and video games. Do you need anything?"
"We're fine for the moment," Torrance answered.
"All right. Then maybe I should leave you two alone then."
"Well, if you don't mind, it would be nice if you stuck around. My mother was here for the last two kids, but this looks like it's going to go fast. I wouldn't mind having company until it's time," the younger brunette stated.
"All right. No problem. I can stay for awhile."
About an hour later Helen's doctor arrived and smiled at the three of them. She took another round of vitals before turning to the anxious parents-to-be. "Well, Helen's blood pressure is high, too high for my comfort actually. I know you wanted to have a natural birth, but under these circumstances, I don't want to do that. It's too dangerous for Helen. We need to do a caesarean instead."
"Are you sure?" Helen asked softly.
The doctor nodded her head. "Yes. I wouldn't recommend it if I wasn't positive. You're at too much of a risk otherwise. I told you two this the last time I saw you."
"But we were kind of hoping we wouldn't have to do it this way," Torrance responded. "You know what's best though."
"If it's the right thing," the blonde added.
Nodding, the doctor stated, "It is. We'll get you prepped for it as soon as possible. I'll be back shortly."
When the doctor was gone, Blake looked at her nervous friends. Wanting to help them, she mentioned, "Georgia was the same way with the twins. Her blood pressure was too high, so they opted for the c-section. Women have them all the time. It'll be fine. You'll see."
Torrance nodded her head. "Blake's right, mon madame." Helen only nodded and closed her eyes as another contraction took hold of her body. A couple of hours passed with the three of them just talking quietly to pass the time, but finally it was time for Torrance and Helen to go in for the blonde's c-section. The three friends made their way down to the operation room, but Blake had to stay behind as Torrance and Helen went the rest of the way alone.
Just before passing through the doors, the photographer looked at her friend. "Will you stay here until it's over?"
"Of course. I can't wait to see my new nephew for the first time. I'll be right here waiting," she said with a smile. They exchanged a quick hug before the attorney was left alone, looking through the glass at her two dearest friends as they disappeared down the end of the hall and around the corner. Knowing it would be awhile, she took a seat in a nearby chair and silently prayed for their safety.
When Torrance and Helen got into the operating room, the brunette waited for instructions from the staff as to where she should be. Once Helen had been settled, they directed her to the head of the table where she took a seat near Helen's shoulders. Immediately she took the blonde's left hand into her own and smiled at her wife. "Je t'aime, mon amour."
"I love you, Torrance," the blonde answered with a smile of her own.
Not knowing exactly what to do, the photographer decided to take the time to distract them both from what was happening. "You know, Helen, you are the greatest gift I've ever been given. When you came into my life eight years ago, I never imagined this life we've created together. For my entire life I always dreamed of finding my truest love, but I wasn't sure it really existed until I met you. You made me believe in it, and from the moment we became friends, I dreamed of some day being lucky enough to win your heart. It took a long time, but every minute was worth it. You have brought me more happiness in the five years we've been married than I've had in the rest of my life combined."
"Six years next week," Helen mentioned softly.
"Yeah. Six years next week. In six years you've given me three children and a lifetime of happiness. I don't know what I would have ever done without you. You've made me the woman I am today."
With wetness in her eyes, the blonde whispered teasingly, "It's not fair to make me cry right now, love."
Torrance shrugged. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything or anyone else in this entire world. You have made my life complete in a way I never knew was possible."
"As you have done for me, Torrance. From the first time I met you, I knew you were different. I could feel it inside me the first time you smiled. This life with you has been a dream. You've given me all I've ever wanted and so much more. Thank you for waiting for me in the beginning."
"Thank you for giving me a chance," she whispered, leaning to kiss her wife's fair brow. "So, can you believe that this day is finally here? Our last baby is being born. It's hard to imagine after all we've been through in the last year and a half."
"I know. I'm so happy I got a chance to do this once more. Thank you for not giving up."
"I could never do that for something you wanted so much," the photographer mentioned. Her eyes were adverted for a moment to what was happening further down the table. She smiled at the sight of a baby being lifted from Helen's frame. When a small cry broke the air, she turned. "It's official. Our son is here."
Helen began to cry when she heard the sound of her son. Turning to her wife, she whispered, "I love you, Torrance."
"And I love you, Helen. Thank you."
A few minutes later their son was brought to them. Placing him down on the blonde's chest, the photographer and her wife just gazed at him in silent amazement. Neither woman spoke for several moments, but finally Helen whispered, "He has dark hair."
"Yeah. He's perfect." Sidetracked by the commotion going on around them, the brunette noticed the team of doctors talking urgently amongst themselves, piquing her curiosity and anxiety. She could tell something wasn't quite right by the way they were acting. Looking back at her wife, she noticed that the blonde's face was starting to lose some color. "Helen, are you all right?" she asked softly.
"Take the baby, Torrance," came the weak reply.
Doing what was asked, the older woman took her son into one arm as she gently caressed her wife's blonde head with her right hand. She looked again at what was going on behind the curtain they had put up blocking Helen's line of sight. The blonde's ob/gyn was frantically massaging the blonde's uterus as another doctor was quietly issuing orders to a nearby nurse. Torrance could see that her wife's uterus wasn't doing anything as the doctors worked on it. She watched as they started to inject drugs. With worry in her face, she looked back at the younger woman. The blonde's color was quickly fading. Finally not able to stand it, she inquired, "What's going on?"
"The uterus isn't shrinking like it should. We're trying massage and pharmacologic therapy right now," her doctor curtly replied. "Keep talking to her."
Turning back to the blonde, Torrance started to cry as she watched her wife. "Helen, I'm here. Can you hear me?"
"Yeah."
"Just hold on for me. It'll be over soon," she stated as soothingly as she could as a nurse took her son out of her embrace. With her arms free, she put them tentatively around her wife.
"What's happening?" the younger woman questioned weakly.
"They're having a problem with your uterus is all. It won't go back to its normal size yet." The taller woman looked down table again. She overheard the doctors say her wife was losing too much blood and to start a transfusion. Gazing back at the blonde, she saw green eyes struggling to stay open. "Everything's going to be okay, Helen," she asserted, even though she was worried.
"I'm tired," the younger woman whispered.
"I know you are."
Locking eyes with her wife, Helen gave her a longing gaze. "I love you, Torrance."
"I love you, Helen. Je t'aime, mon amour, ma vie," she confessed in return as she saw her wife's eyes flutter closed. Once again Torrance watched the doctors. With growing agitation she questioned, "What's happening? She's starting to turn blue."
"We're starting a blood transfusion, because she's losing too much blood. We're still trying to shrink the uterus, but if we can't we'll have to do a hysterectomy." A few minutes later the doctor looked at her again. "I'm sorry, Torrance, but you need to leave now."
"No! I'm not going anywhere!" the photographer screamed.
"You can't be in her any longer. We have to do the hysterectomy. It's her best chance," they explained.
"Fine but I'm not leaving her!" she objected. With her dissension she quickly found several nurses helping her from her seat. However, she struggled. "No! You can't make me leave my wife! I won't do it!" No one said anything as she continued to rant. "Helen! God, please be okay!" she pleaded as she was dragged away from the table. Wrestling with the two large orderlies who were removing her, she kept screaming long after being forced from the room.
Blake was reading a magazine when she heard commotion and yelling down the hall. Hearing Torrance's voice, she stood and immediately came rushing toward the sound. "What's going on?" she inquired quickly as they placed the photographer on her feet finally. The younger brunette completely ignored her friend and kept fighting with the large men to be allowed back to her wife.
"She had to be removed from the room," they informed the attorney.
"Fine. I'll take care of her. Tor, come here. Come sit," she instructed. Torrance fought her, but finally Blake got her onto a nearby sofa. "Tor, what's going on?"
"Helen!" the younger brunette screamed in tears. "I have to go back, Blake!"
"You can't go back. They won't let you. Now what's happening?"
"She was starting to loose a lot of blood, and they said they had to do a hysterectomy. They said it was her best chance. Blake, they can't take her from me! How did this happen?"
"I don't know. You need to stay calm, though," she stated as she took a seat. Immediately the younger woman fell into her and started sobbing uncontrollably. The attorney began to cry as well at the sorrow coming from her friend. She was deeply concerned about the turn of events. She knew something had gone wrong if the doctors felt a hysterectomy was the only way to help her friend. Nevertheless, she prayed that everything would be fine as she held her emotional friend.
The minutes seemed to pass like centuries as Blake held Torrance, who had finally cried herself into a light sleep. She anxiously watched and waited for any signs of Helen's doctors. Finally the attorney saw one of them and nudged her friend awake. Both women were on their feet by the time she reached them. Just by the way she held her countenance, Blake could tell something was wrong.
"Torrance," she began slowly. "We were unable to shrink Helen's uterus after the baby was delivered. Sometimes that happens, so we use massage and drugs to assist. In some cases even that doesn't work though. Unfortunately, Helen was such a case. With the amount of blood she was losing we thought a transfusion was necessary as well as doing a hysterectomy. We were successful in removing it, but Helen started to go into shock, and I'm not sure she's going to recover. I'm sorry."
"What are you telling me? Helen's going to die?"
"I'm sorry, Torrance. We're trying everything, but I don't know. I came to take you back to her."
"Do you want me to stay here?" Blake questioned.
The photographer shook her head. "My children need you," she whispered.
The attorney nodded in understanding. "I'll stay with them. Call me if you need anything."
With a nod and a hug, Torrance followed the doctor quickly down the hall again. Coming back into the operating room, she immediately took a seat next to her wife. "Helen," she whispered, wrapping her arms around the lithe shoulders. Burying her head into the crook of her wife's neck, Torrance began to weep. "You can't leave me, Helen. I need you. Our children need you. Please, God. I'm begging you. Please don't take her from me. I'll do anything. Please, take me instead. I beg you. Take me," she prayed placing a hand over her wife's heart. "Don't go, Helen. I love you. I've loved you for so long. I can't be without you. Our kids can't be without their mother. Oh, God, don't take her. Please don't take her," she begged as she wept into her beloved's blonde hair. "I love you, Helen," she mumbled repeatedly as she sobbed in heart-wrenching ache. It was late when Blake returned to Torrance's home. The house was quiet as she entered the front door, so she assumed the kids had already been put to bed. Wandering around the ground floor looking for Jamie, she couldn't find her, so she figured she was also upstairs with the children. Going into the study, she dropped into one of the leather chairs and sighed deeply.
The evening had been trying for her. She had to stay strong for her best friend in her moment of need, and the attorney did so without reservation. Through the entire thing, Blake remained strong, knowing she was the only one who could help the younger brunette at that moment. She had stoically made all the phone calls to both Torrance's and Helen's family after getting in her car, telling them what had happened at the hospital, because she knew the photographer was in no condition to speak with anyone.
However, sitting alone the feelings she had held at bay began to set in around her. She tired to take normal breaths but failed as tears cascaded over her face, and she whimpered as uncontrollably as Torrance had at the hospital. The emotions over what happened were just too much to bear. She adored Helen so profoundly herself and loved Torrance as if she was her blood. The tragedy of the night was more than she could even comprehend.
Blake was so withdrawn into her own pain that she didn't hear the door to the study open, but she looked up when she felt a hand on her head gently caressing her hair soothingly. Looking up she was surprised to find her ex-wife standing over her. "Georgia, what are you doing here?" she questioned in confusion.
"Jamie called me. She asked if I could come out and help with the kids. I guess seven was a little much for her. Then when she had to get Katrina back for school in the mornin', I offered to stay here. She said Helen went into labor but that she didn't know much else."
The attorney nodded her head. "Where are the kids?"
"They're all upstairs in bed. I figured Lana and Luke were better off just goin' to sleep since I didn't know how long I'd be here. What happened, Blake? Why are you so upset?" The brunette nodded sadly as she closed her eyes again in anguish. Seeing how much pain was coming from her former wife, Georgia knew something was terribly wrong. Hesitantly taking a seat on the ottoman in front of Blake, she reached for the taller woman's hands and held them in her own. "Blake?"
"I can't. It hurts too much to think about, Georgia."
"Please, sweetie. Tell me," she whispered, pulling the attorney into her embrace instinctively. Blake was obviously hurting too much for her not to extend her comfort. The attorney immediately slipped her arms around the blonde in return.
"It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to be like this," the older woman wept. "Tor is devastated."
"Why? What happened to Helen and the baby, Blake?"
"She went into labor today while we were here. Tor had gone to the store to get something we had forgotten for our barbeque. I had to rush Helen to the hospital. Tor met us there, and they immediately admitted her. Her blood pressure was so high they wanted to do a c-section instead of natural delivery. Even though that wasn't what either of them wanted, they agreed to it. Then it seemed like all hell broke loose. I don't know all the details."
"Then just tell me what you know, honey," Georgia coaxed consolingly, running one hand through Blake's hair while the other rubbed her back as she tried to keep her own emotions at bay until she got the whole story.
Blake held to the blonde tighter and took a few breaths before continuing. "They took her in to do the caesarean. Tor was with her. The next thing I know I hear Tor screaming and see that she's being dragged out of the operating room by security. I immediately tried to step in, because I didn't know what was happening. They said she was causing too much commotion and had to be removed. All the time Tor was just yelling Helen's name and crying uncontrollably. I still wasn't sure what was going on at that point. When they left us alone, I tried to ask Tor, but all she kept doing was clutching me and screaming for Helen. Finally Tor wore herself out and fell asleep against my shoulder. The doctor finally came out and told us what happened."
Hearing the attorney pause, Georgia kissed her on the forehead in consolation. "It's okay. Take your time," she whispered. She knew Blake just needed a moment to compose herself before continuing, so she didn't push the taller woman, merely held her and waited for her to continue. However, as she wrapped her mind around what Blake had said so far, she was scared for her friends.
Taking another deep breath, Blake resumed the story. "The doctor said that after they had delivered the baby Helen's uterus would not shrink again. They tried all the usual things, massage and drugs, but it just wouldn't contract back to its normal size, and the whole time she just kept bleeding. Apparently that's when Tor freaked and finally had to be removed. They gave her a transfusion for the blood loss, but nothing seemed to be working. They had to do a hysterectomy, but they said she was going into shock and might not recover. After the doctor said that, Tor went in to see her again and asked me to come back here to be with the kids. I didn't want to leave her, but she asked me to, so I left. I've been driving somewhat aimlessly, because I was dreading seeing the children. I haven't heard anything else."
"Oh, God. Helen and Tor. Please be with them, God," Georgia mumbled helplessly as she clung closer to Blake.
"She could die, Georgia," Blake whimpered. "All this for another baby."
"What happened to the baby?"
"He's fine."
Georgia nodded her head and wondered what she could say in the moment. "You know, Blake, Helen loved Tor so much that she wanted to give her another child. She ached for that chance. She longed for it and mourned it when it wasn't happenin' for them. It was a miracle that they conceived 'gain after tryin' so long and havin' a miscarriage, but she never gave up hope. She didn't give up on her dream and the love she and Tor share. We cain't give up either. We have to let our love surround them and give them the support they need."
"While I was driving, I kept thinking about you. The same thing happened when you had the c-section with the twins, but they were able to fix it easily. I just don't understand how this could happen."
"I know, Blake. It's hard," Georgia agreed sadly.
"Tonight made me realize that I wasn't doing what was important in life."
"Which is?"
"Spending time with my family. Life is truly so short, Georgia. After tonight I'm not sure I can go on without seeing the children everyday, because every minute is precious. You never know when that could be the last moment you share. It made me care less about work and more about my family. I'm glad I was there for Tor, because she needed someone desperately, but it just made me realize how much I wanted to be with our kids. It made me realize how much I wanted to be with you, Georgia," she confessed, risking a glance up at her ex-wife. "You were the first person I wanted to be with... the only person," she added hesitantly.
Georgia looked down into the attorney's dark eyes. The older woman's admission made her heart start pounding in her chest, because it was the only thing she had ever wanted to hear since Blake had filed for a divorce. It was what she had held onto all the months they had been living apart. Through all the fights, all she ever wanted was to tell the dark-haired woman that she still loved and wanted to be with her, but Blake seemed so adamant in her decision that she never even tried to reconcile. However, the words she had longed for had just been spoken. Giving her ex-wife a reassuring smile through her tears, the writer answered, "I'm glad to be here for you, Blake. I'm always here for you. I love you too much to not be wherever you need me."
The taller woman looked into the blue eyes she had always adored quietly for a moment as she let Georgia's words wash over her. The southern belle still loved her after everything they had experienced. "I still love you, Georgia. Through it all, that hasn't changed."
"Then why aren't we together? Why did you want a divorce?"
Dropping her head so she didn't have to look into the younger woman's eyes, she mumbled, "My ego, Georgia. My pride got in the way."
"Why?"
"Because I couldn't handle you being away doing something you loved. When we got married, it was different. You had a job, but you were still always there when I came home at night. You always had everything taken care of everything for me at home. I wanted you there when I got home at the end of the day. However, then you ran off to New Orleans, and you weren't here for me. You weren't here for our children. Yes, I could've have handled it, but the truth was, I didn't want to. I had grown so accustomed to you being at home that I couldn't embrace the change."
"In other words you wanted me to remain at home instead of followin' my own dreams," the smaller woman stated.
"I know that's not fair, Georgia, but yes, I wanted you at home. I wanted a wife who was there every night."
Nodding the writer observed, "So you wanted what Tor has. You wanted me to be like Helen."
"I suppose. That was kind of what I had in mind when we got married. I wanted to take care of you, Georgia, and I had a hard time seeing you so independent."
Taking the attorney's hands in her own, the blonde looked into her eyes. "Blake, for as long as I've known you, you've held Helen on the highest pedestal that I have ever known, so much so that if I were an outsider, I would think you were in love with her. However, I know your heart. I know how strongly you feel for her and how much you love her, but that love is as a siblin' more than anythin'. Nevertheless, you have this image of her in your mind, this image of perfection. Helen isn't perfect. She's a wonderful, lovin', carin' woman, but she'd be the first to tell you that she's not flawless. You have to be able to accept that I will never be like her. I love her as much as you do, but I cain't emulate her. My career is so important to me. For the first time in my life, I have somethin' that's my own. It's somethin' that I can be proud of, and I'm good at it. I have to have this, Blake. Do you understand?"
"I understand. That's the way I felt about my career until tonight. Now I'm not so sure it means that much to me anymore."
Georgia nodded. "Well, I have a confession to make. Just like you wanted me to be more like Helen, I wanted you to be more like Tor. She spends an incredible amount of time with her kids and Helen. I wanted to have that time with you."
"I know. I couldn't do it then though. It just wasn't me, but now, after this, I know how important it is. I want to rethink my life and how I spend my time."
"I think we can make this work if we want it to, Blake. However, we've got to work at it. We have to try. You have to let me have my career. If you cain't do that, then it's not right for us."
Blake gazed into the blue eyes of her dreams. For the first time since their divorce, they were looking back at her with such an open vulnerable expression that she knew she had to take a chance at reconciliation with this woman. Gently tucking a piece of blonde hair behind the younger woman's ear, she stated, "I want to try, Georgia. I want us to be a family again."
The writer felt tears once again fall freely from her eyes but this time for a completely different reason. Blake had just asked for another chance at a life together, something she had always wanted. "I want that too, Blake," she whispered, leaning to hug her ex-wife.
They clung together in a close embrace for several moments before the attorney pulled back enough to look into Georgia's eyes again. "I love you, Georgia Erwin," she declared.
"And I love you, Blake," the shorter woman replied before their lips met tentatively. Both of them were crying, the events of the day too overwhelming to process. However, they knew they would find their strength in each other. After several silent moments of just holding each other, the writer mentioned, "Maybe we should go to bed. Tor will call when there's news, and we need our strength for the kids."
"You're probably right," the brunette conceded. Both of them stood from their positions and quietly moved through the house to secure it for the night. Then together they made their way upstairs. Georgia stopped at a guest room that was situated in between John and Marta's rooms and across the hall from where she had placed Lana and Luke to bed. Blake lingered there for a moment. Not knowing what to say at the moment, she simply inquired, "Is there anything I can do for you right now?"
Georgia knew the question was thrown out as a stalling technique, because Blake didn't really want to be alone. Truthfully she didn't either, so she responded, "Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be by myself right now."
"Sure. I don't really want to be alone either."
Going into the bedroom together, Georgia gathered up her pajamas from her suitcase and made her way into the bathroom. Since Blake hadn't been prepared to spend the night, she didn't have anything to wear. She knew she could borrow some of Torrance's clothes, but she didn't have the heart to go into her best friend's bedroom at the moment, so she opted to just sleep in the clothes she was wearing.
When Georgia came out of the bathroom several minutes later, the attorney took her turn. She washed her face and then used a spare toothbrush to brush her teeth before heading back into the bedroom. The blonde was already pulling down the covers on the bed. Without a word the older woman went to the other side of the queen bed and did the same.
As the smaller woman got into her side of the bed, she noticed that Blake hadn't changed and asked, "What are you wearin' to sleep?"
"This. I don't have anything else, and I don't want to go into Tor's bedroom right now."
"That's not goin' to be very comfortable. You cain take your clothes off. It ain't like I haven't seen you before."
Knowing she would be more comfortable without her slacks and dress shirt, she gave a nod. "As long as it's fine with you," she mentioned before proceeding to undress. Georgia nodded her consent. Feeling a little self-conscious with the lights on, Blake went to extinguish them before taking off all her clothing. She draped it on a nearby chair before carefully slipping into the bed next to the blonde. Neither said anything for quite some time. Figuring Georgia had fallen asleep, Blake sighed and stared up at the ceiling as her mind went over the day. Suddenly though her musing was broken by a head resting against her shoulder and an arm across her body.
"I'm scared, Blake," Georgia whispered softly. "Helen's been my best friend for so long."
"So am I, Georgia," she conceded, bringing her arms around the younger woman. Blake could feel the writer's bare legs rubbing against her own under the covers, and the light cotton shirt Georgia was wearing left it very easy to feel the curves of the smaller woman as they lay pressed against each other. "But I'm here for you," the attorney said, kissing the top of the blonde head against her shoulder.
Propping up on her arm, Georgia looked down at the attorney in the darkness. Dark eyes were gazing back at her quizzically. "I'm here for you too, Blake."
Silence followed for a moment as they continued to regard each other. Instinctively Blake's right hand went to the blonde's locks. She fingered them around her ear for a moment before sliding through them to cup the back of her head. Then without even realizing it they embraced in a slow kiss. The hesitancy that had been downstairs when they touched wasn't there as their mouths melded together in a methodical exploration. Blake groaned as her passion came to life. It had been so long since a woman's touch made her feel so alive.
When the younger woman heard the attorney's moan, it struck a place deep within her that had been closed off since their separation. Blake's soothing caress helped calm her fears while at the same time lighting a fire within her that had been absent so long. Even though she didn't realize it, her instinctive desires took over, and her body found its way on top of the older woman's as their lip lock continued, shifting from consoling to amorous.
It took Blake several minutes to realize the turn of the moment, but she became aware of the fact that one of her thighs had become firmly situated between her ex-wife's bare legs and that the smaller woman's hips were rocking against her in growing intensity as both of their hands became more active. The attorney noticed that her left hand had wandered under Georgia's nightshirt and was rubbing her lower back while intuitively pushing the younger woman's hips closer to her own. As for her right hand, it was drifting from the blonde's hair to her face and all the way down her side and was currently inches away from the writer's clothed breast. Managing to pull back a little, it took a minute for the older woman to find her voice. Her breathing was so erratic as was Georgia's.
Meeting the blue eyes she loved, she gently asked, "Are we sure we should be doing this? I mean, I want this. I have for so long, but are we ready for this again? I don't want to regret this later."
Georgia broke their gaze for a moment as she looked over the position of their bodies. Going back to the older woman's face, she took a deep breath. "I've missed this between us, Blake. I want this too but only if you're ready. I want this to be a new beginnin' for us."
Blake nodded her head in understanding. "So do I, Georgia," she whispered, leaning up to the blonde's lips. As soon as they met again, everything was forgotten except their desires to be fully reconciled with each other. For the rest of the night, they made the most of their time, loving each other tenderly, crying for their friends, and finding comfort in the other's arms. It was only with the first light of morning that they drifted to sleep together, their hearts and spirits reconnected with the hope of their future.
**************************************************************
Green eyes opened after a long night. As usual the sounds of the ocean in the distance could be heard through the open French doors leading to the balcony. This was Torrance's favorite time of the morning with her beloved Helen. However, on this morning the blonde was not there as she turned to her wife's side of the bed. Instead, there was nothing but emptiness, a reminder that Helen had not been there the entire night.
Torrance sighed deeply as she gazed on at the empty place. So much had happened since that fateful night at the hospital when the blonde had given birth to their son, Emanuel, but most of it had passed in a daze to the photographer due to the long nights with their son and the numerous family members descending on their house to lend their assistance and support.
Turning from the place where Helen should have been, the brunette looked over to the night table. There sat a small box with a platinum necklace draped on top of that. The tall woman picked up the necklace and gently cupped the two rings that dangled from it. The diamond and emerald engagement ring she had given her lover and the matching platinum wedding band Helen had worn all those years sparkled in the morning rays of sun. Helen had taken them off when her pregnancy was further along with Emanuel, because her fingers were swelling and never had the chance to put them on again.
Gazing back to the nightstand, she looked at the precious box that held her heart and soul. She reached for it, caressing it with the reverence she bestowed only on Helen as she thought of its contents. It embodied the spirit of her wife and by extension the essence of herself. Her past was concealed within it, the years of selfless love she had given and received from the only woman she could ever love. The very thought of everything she and Helen had experienced made emotions swell within her. Just then there was a knock on the bedroom door before Torrance's mother admitted herself.
She spared a small smile at her child. "How are you feeling?" she inquired.
"Tired. Thanks for taking care of Emanuel last night."
"Not a problem, darling. Anything for you. You know that."
Torrance gave a nod as she sat up in bed. Her mother touched her on the shoulder. "It's going to be a long day," the photographer mumbled.
"You should probably start getting ready," Maria suggested. "Your father and I will take care of Emanuel and Marta. John and Diane are going to get John dressed for the service," she informed, referring to Helen's parents.
Nodding again, Torrance stated, "Thanks. I appreciate the help." Moving into the bathroom, she dropped her pajamas on the floor. Stepping into the shower, she let the warm water flow over her. Torrance closed her eyes as her mind drifted to the last time she had held her beloved in that same shower. It was the morning Emanuel was born. She had taken great care in washing the blonde's hair that morning in an affectionate gesture. She assumed then that it would be the last time she would be able to render such service to her wife for several days, but never in her dreams did she think that a week after Emanuel's birth she would be standing alone longing for the green eyes she adored.
Going into automatic motion, the photographer bathed herself. She thought of her three children. She knew they were all missing their mother more than they could ever even express, especially John. He often sat with Torrance over the past week, embraced in her strong arms, listening to the waves of the ocean in silence as the photographer had often done with her wife in the evenings after their children had been put to bed. Every night John had fallen asleep enfolded in her arms, much the way Helen usually did. Torrance would look down at him as he slept cuddled against her, seeing her wife in every curve of his face. He was their first-born, their love child, and held such a special place with the both of them. Every night since coming back from the hospital, he had slept in his parents' bed with the exception of the last one when he had taken to his grandparents' bed.
Once the shower was complete, Torrance moved into her walk-in closet to dress. She picked the black suit Helen had always liked best on her to wear that day and pulled it on. When she was ready, she moved back into the bedroom. The brunette made the bed slowly, knowing Helen would want her to. She lingered though as she arranged her wife's pillows on her side of the bed. They still held the distinctive scent of her shampoo even after a week of her absence. Torrance felt the tears coming and closed her eyes to hold them at bay. However, that only made it harder as she then could almost imagine the lithe blonde standing there in her embrace, the smell of her hair and skin permeating the photographer's personal space. It was also the last thing she remembered smelling of her wife the night their son was born. It had been such an emotional week for her that she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold herself together. She hadn't had any time to process all that had taken place, and that was taking its toll on the photographer.
Finally putting her wife's pillow back in its rightful place, Torrance moved to her side of the bed. She picked up the box and Helen's rings that still hung suspended from the necklace and walked out to the balcony. She knew it would soon be time to make her way down to the beach, where she would be surrounded by their closest friends and family for the service that had been arranged to commemorate the blonde and their marriage, but she wanted to spend her last moments of solitude in the place she and Helen loved to share looking out over the water.
Torrance didn't know exactly how long she stood there thinking about her lover, her wife, Helen Melbourne Whitfield. For years she had possessed Torrance's soul, and the brunette knew that she always would. Helen was the mother of her three children, her long-time companion, and her best friend. The younger woman had helped make Torrance what she was, and the tall woman knew she would never forget that. The photographer thought back to the night Emanuel was born. The excitement of their third child was quickly overshadowed by Helen's condition. As she remembered clutching to her lover, she recalled her urgent, pleading prayer. In earnest she begged God not to take Helen from her. She held tightly to the frail fair frame, hiding her wet eyes in the crook of the blonde's neck. Her river of tears had rained down on golden tresses, wetting them, and her hand covered Helen's heart as if she could will her own life into the woman that lay motionless on the operating table if she just tried hard enough. Torrance knew she would have given up her own life just to save her wife's if that was what was needed.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by two hands on either of her shoulders. Torrance knew whom they belonged to without even turning. The attorney stood just behind her to the right and the actress on the other side. Three brunette women, all dressed in black, were silent for a few minutes just looking out over the water.
Finally, though, Blake whispered quietly, "It's time to go, Tor."
The photographer nodded but didn't move from her spot just yet. "This has been a hard few days," she mumbled, her eyes still cast out over the ocean.
Jamie squeezed her shoulder in support. "I know what it feels like, Tor," she stated. "We're both here for you."
Looking over her shoulder at the younger woman, Torrance realized Jamie would know better than anyone what she was feeling. "Thanks, both of you," she murmured, looking at her best friend from college as well. A few more moments passed with them still standing on the balcony. "You know, this is Helen's and my favorite time of the day. She loves to make love in the mornings," she mentioned. "She's the best thing that has ever happened to me."
"We know, Tor," Blake answered, not knowing what else to say to her friend in the moment. It appeared as if the photographer was about to let the dam of emotions crumble after the last several days, but they knew people were waiting on them to start the service. "Are you ready?" she questioned after several moments. The photographer nodded slowly. "Do you want me to carry the box?" Blake offered.
"No, thank you. I need to carry it," Torrance replied. With the support of her friends, Torrance made her way through the house and out the back door toward the beach. As they approached, she saw the small, intimate gathering of the loved ones closest to Helen and her gathered around the minister who had performed their wedding ceremony all those years ago. She saw Emanuel and Marta being held by her parents, and John standing with Helen's siblings. Everyone was silent as the three of them neared. Coming to a stop in front of the minister, the photographer reached out her hand to her oldest son. Immediately, John came to her, putting his arms around her waist. Looking at the group, Torrance said, "I know if Helen were here now she would thank you all for coming, so I will do it for the both of us. Thank you for being here on such an important day in our lives. You'll never know how much it really means to the both of us to have this support."
No one said anything for a few minutes. Torrance just looked at the minister and waited for the right moment to begin their ceremony. She didn't have to wait too long before John screamed in excitement, "Mommy!" Breaking away from Torrance, he took off up the stairs leading back to the house. Marta scurried out of Maria's embrace to do the same. The photographer watched them and smiled as she saw her angel in a simple white dress gingerly making her way down to the crowd, escorted by her father. Helen still looked fragile from her week-long stay at the hospital but Torrance thought her flawless as usual. Seeing her children hug their mother tightly around the legs, the brunette began to cry. Looking over to Blake, she held the box and Helen's rings out for her to take. "Hold this for me," she requested.
Blake did as she was asked, taking the items from Torrance. Torrance slowly made her way over to her ladylove as she reached the last stair. The photographer was openly weeping. They embraced in a tight hug.
"You didn't think I would stand you up, did you?" Helen asked lightly, trying to soothe her wife. It was obvious that Torrance could no longer hide her emotions of the last week.
"I never thought I'd make it through the night without you. The past six days having you at the hospital was so hard, and then all this nonsense about sleeping apart the night before we renewed our vows was almost too much after everything. I almost lost you that night for good, Helen," she cried. "I don't know if I could have ever gone on without you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Torrance. It was close, but I'm still here, and I will be here for years to come. I promise," the little woman avowed, clutching tightly to the woman she loved. After a few moments of collecting themselves, the younger woman insisted, "Help me the rest of the way."
Gladly Torrance took the duty, extending her arm to her wife. Helen held on with both hands, taking tentative steps the rest of the way down to the water's edge where everyone was waiting. When they finally came to a stop in front of the minister, they turned toward each other and gave reassuring smiles.
"Torrance and Helen, you are gathered here today in front of your family and friends to renew your vows to each other. This day holds special meaning in light of the recent events of the past week. It has been a test of faith for you both, and I am happy to see you all standing here today in front of God and these people to reaffirm your commitment to your marriage and children," the minister began. Looking toward Blake, she gestured for Helen's rings. Placing them in Torrance's hand, she said, "Torrance, please give these rings to Helen as a sign of your commitment and repeat after me." The photographer took the necklace and placed it around her wife's neck since Helen's fingers were still too large to wear them again and waited for her cue. When it came time to repeat after the minister, she did so with all the feelings she felt as she gazed down into the green eyes that had been the captor of her soul from the moment she had seen them. When her part was complete, she took the blonde's hands again and waited for Helen to speak.
The blonde moved her eyes from her wife's to the minister's for a moment as she awaited her instructions. After the minister stated her vow, the little woman looked back up into the green eyes she loved. Torrance's face held so much emotion, love, relief, and joy. Since the photographer had not taken off her ring, there was none to place upon her hand, but Helen still repeated the words that had been prepared months ago for this special moment.
Once they had finished, Torrance turned to Blake and asked for the box. When the attorney handed it over, she in turn gave it to the minister. "Well, now that you two have exchanged your vows, there are three other vows that need to be made today," the minister announced, opening the box to reveal three small rings, all on platinum chains. "If John would please come up to the front and stand between you."
The little boy did as was asked of him, taking his place between his two mothers. The photographer took the largest ring and necklace from the box and looked down at their eldest son. She and Helen both placed their hands on his shoulders. "John, Mommy and I want to give you this ring as a sign that you are our son. Both of us will always be here for you through the good times and the bad, when you're sick and when you're well. Our love for you, John, is forever," Torrance said, trying to use words he would understand.
Taking the necklace from the brunette, Helen slipped it over their son's head. "John, with this ring you will always be known as our son. No matter what, know that we will both be there for you. You will always be loved, John, by this family. We love you," she stated softly. When she had finished speaking to him, both she and Torrance leaned down to hug and kiss him.
Leaving him standing between them, Torrance looked to her father, who brought Marta forward. The photographer took their middle child, their only daughter into her arms. The minister handed Helen the necklace with the little girl's ring attached to it. Gazing down at the child in her arms, Torrance said, "Marta, with this ring we give you, you are known as our daughter. Your Mommy and I will always be here for you through good times and bad and when you are sick and well. Our love for you, Marta, is forever."
"Marta, no matter what, you will always be supported by this family. We love you," the blonde added before placing the necklace around her daughter's neck. Together they bestowed the same hugs and kisses they had with John.
When her turn was finished, Torrance motioned her mother forward to turn over Emanuel. Helen carefully took him into her embrace. Torrance took the final necklace and held it as she gazed on at their son. She gave a smile and sigh as she gathered her thoughts for what she wanted to say to their youngest, only a week old.
"Emanuel, I think we named you correctly. On the night you were born, your Mommy nearly gave her life for you as I would have done for her, but as your name implies, God was with us to watch out over you both. We give you this ring today, Emanuel, as a symbol of our family. By it you will be known as our son, and when you are old enough, I hope that you wear it with the same amount of love and pride with which we give it to you," she said placing her hand on top of his dark head. He slept peacefully in his mother's arms.
"Emanuel, Mom and I will always be here for you during the good times and the bad, when you are sick and when you are well. Our love for you is forever, and you will always have the support of this family. We love you," Helen stated before both of them leaned to kiss him.
Looking at her wife, Torrance whispered, "I love you, Helen Whitfield."
"And I love you, Torrance Whitfield," she answered.
Embracing the small frail frame, the photographer kissed her wife with the renewed passion befitting another chance at life.