~ As Long As Earth Endures ~
by Bracer


Chapter Six

Xena gazed down at her sleeping partner. Thanks to a slightly too high dose of herbs, the warrior couldn't remember exactly how they had wound up naked together sharing a bedroll, but she had to admit it was a pleasant way to wake up. Gabrielle was nestled very nicely against her, the bard's head on her shoulder with a hand resting across her belly, their hips and thighs touching lightly. Oh yes, very nice. Could get used to this. Her smile widened. Gods, I just hope I have plenty of chances…
 
The rain had stopped in the night, and the sun was just getting ready to rise. In the dim light Xena took her time taking in every detail of Gabrielle's sleeping face. By the gods you're beautiful. The warrior chuckled to herself, remembering when Gabrielle had said those words to her while the bard had been drugged with henbane. How long ago? Seems like a thousand years.
 
So much had changed since then. The warrior's heart warmed at the memory of Gabrielle standing toe to toe with Androphus and not giving an inch - no matter her bard barely came up to the level of his chest. The little girl who had followed her from some nameless village and needed constant rescuing had grown before her eyes into a strong, confident young woman - a woman who could beat the stuffing out of a platoon of raiders, argue a god out of his boots, and still have the energy left to hold a room spellbound with her tales at the end of the day.
 
And in that time she had also managed to grow around one ex-warlord's stony heart. "I love you Gabrielle," she said, quietly, just to hear herself say the words. She looked at the pleasantly sleeping face once again, stroking it gently. "And by the gods, you are beautiful."
 
The smaller woman began to stir, then slightly opened her eyes. Her face broke into a dreamy grin. "Mmm, hi…"
 
"Morning," Xena replied, smiling back. "Sleep all right?"
 
"Yeah…" The bard closed her eyes again and nuzzled her head against Xena's shoulder. "Slept wonderful…"
 
"Me too."
 
Gabrielle snorted sleepily. "You would … you were kinda doped up…"
 
The warrior smiled. "So, did you take advantage of me in my drugged condition?"
 
The bard shook her head, her red-gold hair inadvertently brushing across Xena's breast. "Nahh … course not…"
 
Xena's smile broadened wickedly. "Then how come we're both naked?"
 
Gabrielle's head snapped up. "Oh gods - we are aren't we?" She sat abruptly, uncovering them both. "Um, well, see, here's what happened -"
 
"Xena! You'd better come hear this!" Meleager called out as he poked his head inside the tent.
 
He blinked. "Uhhh … aw Hades." Then he was gone.
 
"Hrrr, yah … well!" he blustered loudly from outside the tent. "I'm uh … I was just passing by somebody's tent here on my way over to where uh, the horses are tethered I guess … Got something real important to say to Xena and … Wow, I um, I just hope she happens on by in a couple of minutes or so … Oh yeah … Just headin' straight there…" he babbled as he walked away.
 
Gabrielle turned bright, absolute, beet red from head to toe just before she groaned and pulled the blankets completely over herself and curled into a tight ball. Xena pressed her hands over her face and tried desperately to hold back the screaming fit of giggles that threatened to burst out any moment - if not for the bard's sake, then for the sake of her own tender ribs.
 
Finally Xena got herself under control, then sat up and ran her hand over the fur-covered bundle beside her. "Come on my little nymph," she teased. "Looks like the real world needs us again."
 
"I'm not going anywhere," came the muffled response. "I'm staying right here until I sink into the ground!"
 
"Gabrielle…" Xena smiled warmly and embraced the lump as best she could. "All right, stay there until that cute blush of yours wears off. But we do have to get going sometime - we still have a job to do. Remember all that talk about the greater good?"
 
"That counts for being poisoned - not embarrassed to death!" The bard groaned.
 
"All right," Xena said, giving her a last squeeze and moving towards her leathers, "but I'm getting up."
 
Gabrielle gave another muffled groan and didn't move or speak further as Xena quickly and efficiently donned her leathers, armor and boots, turning to the lump as she made her way out. "Stay there as long as you want," she teased, pausing before the front flaps, "but try to get up before they pack the tent with you in it, all right?" There was a slight shifting and another groan from under the fur as Gabrielle nodded slightly. Xena grinned, then said quietly, "And as far as I'm concerned you have nothing to be embarrassed about - you're beautiful … and I love every inch of you."
 
With that, the bard's pale - though still blushing - face poked out from beneath the furs, bearing a wide, if sheepish, grin. "Meet you for breakfast then?"
 
"Deal," the warrior replied, smiling at her love one last time before stepping outside. She briefly checked on Argo, noting how her saddle had been carefully set over a nearby tree branch. Still smiling, she moved it to a patch of sunshine to dry, then gave the horse an affectionate pat on the neck. "Always looking out for us, isn't she girl?" Argo nickered in agreement.
 
Xena found her way to where the rest of the horses had been tethered. Meleager was giving Melampus a nominal brushing. "Morning," he said without looking at her, obviously trying to suppress a grin. "Guess your injuries aren't that bad … I uh, saw the, you know, bandages."
 
Xena casually leaned back against a tree. "I'll be fine," she said, "and next time, try knocking first."
 
Meleager's head dropped as he blushed. "Sorry about that. Didn't think … Guess after all the grinning you were doing yesterday, should have put two and two together." He turned to her, smiling. "I'm happy for you though - both of you. Gabrielle … she's pretty special."
 
"Yes," Xena replied evenly, unable to suppress a slight smile, "she is." She pulled away from the tree. "Now," she said with a more serious note, "what's so important you had to roust me out of bed?"
 
"Oh, yeah, that," he replied, tucking the brush into his saddlebag, "a couple of the scouts came back about a half-hour ago - with a prisoner. Come on, it's easier if they tell you…"
 
The camp was full of activity as they walked. Many more tents than usual had been set up because of the rain, and were all being taken down and stowed. Soon the two of them reached the spot where a pair of clearly exhausted Amazon scouts were seated on the end of one of the wagons. A couple of Lilith's followers had just brought them each a steaming mug of tea, which they gratefully accepted. On the ground was a bound, armored man, who snored fitfully.
 
"Tanith, Adrea," Xena nodded to the scouts. "What's the story?"
 
Tanith gulped down a swallow of tea and took a breath. "Well, we scouted ahead until nightfall, then started looking for shelter from the storm - came across a small inn and decided to stay there. There were no rooms left, so we just took a seat in the tavern, got some food. That was when Adrea noticed the men at one of the tables…"
 
"They wore the insignia of the scouts we came across outside Amazonia," Adrea finished, "the ones with messengers. The three of them were pretty drunk, and kept babbling about 'whores' and making jokes - didn't take long before it was clear they were talking about Lilith and the rest. Innkeeper said they'd been asking every traveler who came in if they'd seen our caravan. The two of us, um … well, we enticed them outside, then knocked them out."
 
Tanith spoke. "We questioned them a little, but they were drunk and angry and we didn't get much out of them except that they're part of a large force."
 
"How large?" Xena asked.
 
"They wouldn't tell us," Adrea answered. "It pretty much slipped out by accident. After that they clammed up. That was when we decided to bring this one back, right away - he seemed in charge. We rode all night."
 
"And the other two?" Xena asked.
 
Tanith gave a grim half smile. "We hid the bodies well off the trail. My call. Couldn't bring all three and couldn't risk letting any of them go." She sighed, shrugged. "It was quick."
 
Xena just nodded. "All right. Good work. Get some rest. Now, let's get him awake and see what he knows…"
 

* * *

 
"I could borrow a horse," Gabrielle tried to sound reasonable.
 
"Gabrielle, please." Xena smiled, but knew it was half out of reflex. She adjusted a buckle on Argo's saddle. "We both know you hate riding and I need to move fast - in fact I'd rather go alone. I'm only letting Morgin come because sending two doubles the odds one of us will make it back."
 
The look of shocked concern on the bard's face made Xena pause. She turned from Argo and faced the smaller woman. "Not that I think it's dangerous - it's just a scouting trip, nothing more. Even I don't plan taking on an army by myself."
 
"Then why can't the scouts go?" Gabrielle asked. "Isn't that their job?"
 
"Yes," Xena said simply, "but scouting reports are no substitute for seeing first-hand. This is serious, Gabrielle. I wouldn't go if I didn't think I had to."
 
The strawberry blonde stamped her foot in frustration. "OK, OK … It's just … I mean…" Her words sputtered off.
 
Xena smiled warmly and ran her hand over the bard's hair, then gave Gabrielle's shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "I know," she said gently, "and I don't want to be apart from you either. Like I said, my timing is awful. I'm sorry."
 
Gabrielle looked up at her warrior's face as she blinked back a tear. "I mean … we haven't even gotten a chance to kiss yet…"
 
Xena grinned, pulled the smaller woman closer. "Well that I can fix…"
 
Gabrielle found it strangely hard to breathe as Xena's lips lowered towards her own. This is happening … this is real… It was just like she remembered from limbo - those wonderful, intense blue eyes growing larger, filling her vision. She thought they were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
 
The warrior lowered herself until their lips were almost touching, pausing for just a moment. Gabrielle could feel Xena's light breath, smell the mix of leather, jasmine soap and something underneath that was just Xena, and it made her dizzy. Then the warrior gently covered Gabrielle's mouth with her own.
 
The lips were soft, so very, very soft, yet strong and warm … so different from any others she had ever felt. Gabrielle parted her own slightly and suckled them, feeling an arm circle her waist while a hand cradled her head - which was good because just then Gabrielle didn't think she could support herself any longer. The kiss grew slowly from gentle to more insistent as their mouths caressed each other for a timeless moment, tongues just hinting at the edges. Gabrielle felt the love between them so clearly she thought her heart would burst.
 
Finally, the smaller woman broke away and pressed her face into the warrior's shoulder, her breathing ragged. She didn't move, panting lightly for a few moments, then gave a strange, gasping laugh. "Aw gods … I…" She raised her head, opened her eyes and looked around. "Mmm…" The young woman smiled, "Nope, not the Elysian Fields after all…"
 
"Say again?"
 
Gabrielle gave an embarrassed giggle. "Well, I just figured if you ever did that I'd cross over for sure. Imagined I'd shake apart or burst into flames … stuff like that."
 
Xena lifted an eyebrow. "I see. Disappointed?"
 
"Nah. This is better," Gabrielle nuzzled against her warrior's neck.
 
Xena held her a little tighter. "Mmm … how so?"
 
"Oh, simple…" Gabrielle looked up into those beautiful, pale blue eyes. "It means we can do it again…" The bard giggled. "Only, maybe without the armor next time?"
 
"Deal." Xena said, hugging her bard close. The warrior gave a slow, and very contented sigh.
 
Gabrielle's heart warmed at the sound, realizing she'd never really heard her companion do that before. The bard was suddenly thoughtful, looking up again into Xena's face. "Just make sure there is a next time, OK?" She brushed a hand across her warrior's cheek. "Come back to me Xena, in one piece … promise?"
 
"I promise," Xena said softly, "two days, maybe three, no more. I'll catch up with you at Kesan - it's a nice, well defended city, and Meleager knows the councilor. You'll be there by nightfall. You'll be safe."
 
"Xena," the bard sighed, "for the next few days, my safety will be the last thing on my mind."
 
"I know," the warrior replied, giving Gabrielle one last squeeze. "See you as soon as I can."
 
Xena pulled away from her bard, then quickly turned and mounted Argo. She rode away without looking back, just so Gabrielle couldn't see the pained expression on her face. The kiss had left her feeling weak and oddly shaken in a way she hadn't felt in a very long time. Intended as a nice little gesture of love and affection, it had turned out nothing like she'd expected, affecting her more deeply than she thought possible. She didn't think Gabrielle could tell sense her reaction, but she could still feel the strawberry blonde's lips on her own, only now it burned like fire. Can't believe I need her this much, the warrior thought again.
 
Xena shook her head to clear it, scanning around for Morgin so they could get moving. Get a grip on yourself warrior, she thought sternly, focusing on what she had to do, this moment, and the practicalities at hand. Yeah, love is wonderful but you've got other things to worry about right now. Get focused or you could get yourself killed.
 
* * *

 
Xena and Morgin had ridden at a fast canter for most of the morning, pushing their mounts as hard as they dared. Just before mid-day, the guardian announced, "Xena, Dumuzi must slow down. He isn't as strong as Argo. Indeed," she laughed softly, "Argo is much like her mistress in that regard - I can think of few who are."
 
The warrior gave a playful raised eyebrow. "All right." She pointed with her head. "There's a stream a couple of miles from here - we'll stop and water the horses." They slowed to a brisk walk and continued on.
 
As they rode, however, Xena found herself becoming oddly restless. It took a while, but she finally put her finger on why: The silence. When Argo had been at full canter she hadn't noticed it, but now that the pace had slowed and there was nothing else to occupy her mind, it was deafening. She rolled her head around and tried to set aside her restlessness, then got annoyed it wasn't working. Never noticed how Gabrielle talks all the time, she thought. No, that's not true - at first it drove me crazy. Guess I got used to it. When did I start to need it?
 
"So tell me," Xena said, as conversationally as she could, "how did you meet Lilith?"
 
Morgin looked at her for a moment, as if surprised. "Perhaps," she said at length, "I should ask if you'd prefer the long version or the short one?"
 
Xena shrugged. "Got nothing but time until tomorrow. Go on as long as you want."
 
Morgin smiled. "I hoped you'd say that. I'm not a fine storyteller like Gabrielle, but this one I enjoy - even if it's hard to tell in places, it does have a happy ending."
 
Xena gave a half grin in return. "Sounds familiar. Go on."
 
Morgin looked forward and thought for a moment. "I don't know who my parents were. I don't know where I was born, or even when," she began. "This saddens me at times, but I've learned to live with it. I know only that I was sold into slavery when I was so young that it was all I knew, in a land far from here, in the city of Ubar, many weeks to the south and east. I've come to believe - perhaps hope is a better word - that I was orphaned or unlucky. I don't want to think of my parents as the sort who would sell so young a child."
 
Xena nodded. This was a story she'd heard before, too many times.
 
"Anyway," Morgin shook her head as they rode, "those first years weren't too bad. I was a kitchen girl - the house was a royal one, large and wealthy. The woman who ran the kitchen was Reyna. She was old and short and fat. Maybe my memory plays with me to think of her being as wide as she was tall, but I do remember her as roughly spherical." The guardian laughed. "Most of the other young ones were scared of her. I loved her. She had her domain, and she ruled it. I admired that, and I think she loved me too in her way. I scrubbed all the pots and pans, even the ones I didn't have to. She would hold me in her lap then, and while she scolded me for never making them shine quite enough, she would hug me. When we broke the rules we all felt the sting of her switch, but I alone was hugged, because I did my chores so well. I wanted so much to please her. It was … a happy time."
 
The warrior rode on, looking straight ahead. How many children have I sold off? I tried to spare them from death, but maybe death would have been more merciful. Gods Morgin, if that's the best you had… Xena suppressed a shudder and kept listening.
 
"I must have caught someone's eye," Morgin went on, "because when, by my reckoning, I was twelve summers old, I was sold again to a whoremaster, to live in the largest brothel in the city. I was given to Chandra to be taught - a courtesan. I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to Reyna. I cried for many days."
 
Morgin continued without a beat. "Chandra was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I was enchanted by her, and the seeming power she had over…" The guardian laughed lightly. "Um, her 'clients'? At first I was too young to understand, I only knew that those who came to her chambers every night treated her like a goddess. During the day she taught me how to dress and walk, how to serve meals and pour wine, how to use makeup and play the lyre. Like Reyna, she was quick to punish me when I failed to please, yet she also showed me how to pleasure myself, something I hadn't tried before, and encouraged me to do it often. This I loved - indeed," she chuckled, "I suppose I still do. In truth, I know now she only did it to arouse my interest in physical pleasure, so later this would make me more willing to serve the desire of others, but it was a pleasure all the same, and mine alone."
 
Xena's jaw tightened. The ex-warlord was no stranger to brothels, but hadn't given much thought to how those who worked there had learned their trade. To hear of a land where it was as institutionalized as any other guild - with "apprentices" that young - sent chills down her spine.
 
The guardian went on. "In time she let me stay with her as she worked her clients, and I learned of the sexual arts by her example. Her lessons became more … personal, and sometimes I was also given lessons from trusted others. I was blooming into womanhood then, my own desire growing, and since I was just a slave I didn't think it strange at first. In fact, I liked it, in part for the pleasure it brought me, but also because when pleasing others I felt some measure of control … and I was the center of attention. I envied those who wielded power and wished something more for myself, but I had been made to serve for so long I actually hated myself when I rebelled, although in time that would change. Not many years later my virginity was bid on, and sold."
 
Xena took a sharp intake of breath. She had bought a virgin once. The girl was young - very young - and seemed scared, but had been very pretty. At first the warlord told herself she would be easier on the girl than any of the rough men who were also bidding, might even let her alone. But once the two of them were in her room, the girl had submitted so willingly…
 
The warrior almost fell out of the saddle. She acted like property, so that's the way I treated her. Ravished her like wild animal, then all but forgot about it. Didn't think … didn't care … there was a person inside.
 
Xena hadn't realized Argo had stopped moving until Morgin placed a hand on her arm. "Xena? Did I say something wrong?"
 
The warrior pulled away. "No," Xena shrugged, smiling nonchalantly around her pain. Her ribs had begun throbbing too. "Bruise on the back of my thigh. Go on."
 
Morgin nodded as if she understood. "Ride when you're able."
 
Xena took a firm hold on Argo's reigns and kicked the mare forward. "You wish," she shouted, loud but matter-of-fact. "Race you to the stream…"
 
* * *

 
Gabrielle and Solari walked on either side of Meleager at the head of the column, the caravan keeping a slow pace as it followed the coast. Kesan offered safety, but the relatively narrow isthmus of eastern Thrace had only two main roads - it was a box ready for a trap, and they waited for the regular reports of the scouts to tell them the way was free of any threat.
 
Just to keep the conversation going, Gabrielle asked, "So um, Meleager, how are things with you and Lilith?"
 
"Oh, fine," the aging warrior responded, voice even. "We're, you know, doing fine - she doesn't get on my case about not being able to be around her during the day and we, well, spend … quality time at night. Everything's fine."
 
Gabrielle and Solari exchanged looks. The Amazon shook her head lightly, looking down the road. "So in other words the two of you aren't talking much, but you, oh Mighty one, are happy the two of you can make out like bunnies when you get off watch. A warrior's dream, that is."
 
"Hey!" Meleager began, "It's not like that! We've reached an understanding, that's all."
 
"Hey, no problem," Gabrielle deadpanned, "Understandings are good."
 
Meleager glared at her. "Well what about you, huh? Seem to have your relationship well in hand."
 
The bard blushed a deep crimson. "That's um, not the same thing."
 
"Oh?" the aging warrior pressed on. "Explain how?"
 
"Because we aren't…" Gabrielle stammered, "I mean, we haven't … I mean, I'm sure we will, but…"
 
At this, Solari's eyebrows shot up. "Wait a minute! When did this happen?" she asked, with a hint of exasperation.
 
"Uh, it didn't," the bard continued to stammer, "I mean, it did, but we couldn't … so we haven't…"
 
Gabrielle stopped walking and took a deep breath. She looked at the warrior and Amazon staring at her expectantly, then crossed her arms and stared right back. "Right now the most important thing is protecting this caravan," she stated. "Xena and I both accept that. Maybe it's not convenient, but that's the way it is. Clear?"
 
Solari and Meleager looked at each other, pieces of the puzzle falling together in both their minds. They nodded. The Amazon addressed her Queen. "Crystal clear."
 
"Good," Gabrielle said flatly. She extended her arm down the road. "Shall we continue?"
 
"Please," Meleager said, turning and hiding his grin.
 
Gabrielle reached for something else to talk about, then asked. "So, Meleager, what did you do to help the Amazons? Why did they owe you a favor?"
 
Meleager hemmed and hawed. "Oh that … Wasn't much really."
 
"Oh Meleager, please," Solari chuckled. "You're the farthest thing from modest. Even I know this one - I was a just a girl then, but I was there, remember? Just tell the Queen."
 
"Yeah … well, OK," the bearded warrior grinned. "Guess it was over twenty summers ago, when Melosa's mother, Tarendel, was Queen. A warlord, Abraxus, invaded the territories, and well, the Amazons had just finished defending themselves from another invader a month or so before, so they were a little weak and couldn't just fight him off. They decided to hole up inside the walls and wait him out until help arrived from other settlements. Lucky enough, Abraxus was kind of full of himself - he started his attack before the heavy weapons could catch up to him. I found out about it and captured the big stuff before it even reached the territories. Part of the whole 'helping people out thing', you know?"
 
Solari rolled her eyes. "OK. Hadn't thought about it like that. The Amazons have always figured you just wanted to prove your worth so you could ask for gold. Maybe you did do it just to help out. Very noble."
 
Meleager took the ribbing and smiled. "Anyway, I had my troops bring the weapons into Amazon territory and attacked Abraxus' camp with them by surprise from behind - and boy, was he surprised…"
 
"That was brilliant!" Gabrielle beamed.
 
"Nah, actually, it was kind of dumb," Meleager reflected. "I barely had enough troops to man the weapons. When he realized what was happening, of course he turned and attacked us. Guess I was a little … eager too. I mean, I'd been a warrior for years, but this was one of the first times I'd led troops in the field. I'd been on my own for a long time, and, well, leading an army … that takes a different kind of mind set."
 
Meleager shook his head and grinned. "Anyway," he continued, "as it happened the Amazons took that moment to come out of the city and rout what was left of Abraxus' men."
 
"Of course we did," Solari huffed in pride. "It took advantage of the divided forces."
 
"Yeah well," Meleager rubbed his chin. "I just wish I could say I'd thought that far. I guess it worked out in the end though."
 
"Well, I think it was very brave," Gabrielle said proudly.
 
Meleager chuckled. "There's a fine line between being brave and being stupid, kid. I learned that lesson the hard way. Lost some good men that day." He looked at his hand, balled it into a fist.
 
Gabrielle watched him, thinking how much different he was from the cocksure, compulsive liar she'd known before. Sure, she'd always known there was a noble warrior underneath it all - he was her childhood hero, and she had a scroll full of stories to back it up - but hadn't realized just how much his drinking had stolen from him until now. You really are a good man Meleager, whether you know it or not. Lilith has every right to call you a 'dear one'.
 
Then he smiled again and turned back to Gabrielle. "Anyway, the irony is that Queen Tarendel was, you know, kind of touched I was willing to risk my troops to help them. It seems no man had ever done that before," he added with just a hint of boastfulness. "Between that and helping them rebuild, I earned their trust enough to mediate a couple of treaties, and finally, she gave me this…" He reached into his shirt and pulled out a medallion.
 
Gabrielle looked at it closely. Although the design was vastly different from her own, it had the same crystal in the center that marked it as Amazon. The inscription around the outer edge read, "By order of Queen Tarendel, the Amazon nation grants Meleager of Calydon safe passage."
 
"You must have really made an impression," Gabrielle said, voice full of admiration. "I thought they only did that once - for Hercules."
 
"Yeah, well, I guess I oughta point out who got theirs first," Meleager responded with a low drawl, bouncing a little as he slipped the medallion back inside his shirt. He leaned close to Gabrielle. "You know, I think Tarendel had a crush on me."
 
"Oh please!" Solari gagged.
 
Gabrielle rolled her eyes and chuckled too. Maybe she did Meleager. Maybe she did…
 
* * *

 
Morgin continued her story as the horses drank their fill. "Working in a brothel often leaves you with a lot of free time. I knew how to read, and began devouring every scroll I could lay my hands on. I read stories, history, some philosophy. Although I'd always known it was possible to be something more than a slave I hadn't really thought about much before then, and reading the stories of heroes and the works of great scholars awakened something in me. I began wishing something more for myself, to make my mark on the world, live a life that was mine, and not one that belonged to someone else."
 
The guardian took a moment to snatch a big horsefly out of the air that had been tormenting Dumuzi, then resumed. "A few years later I was sold to a nobleman named Irydus - although I use the term loosely. I had been punished before, but he was the first who seemed to enjoy doing so. I was whipped and beaten regularly, often for nothing at all, just because it amused him. Still, he didn't keep me for very long, nor did any I was sold to after him. I had begun to despise my lot as a slave. To be so maltreated only strengthened my resolve. Even before I left the brothel I began demanding some pleasure for myself, later I demanded that I be treated as a human being and not as an animal, or piece of furniture. I fought back no matter how badly they punished me. It might sound odd, but I found strength through my slavery - I realized they could do as they wished to my body, but never touch who I was inside."
 
Some part of Xena wished she'd never asked for Morgin's story. It didn't help that the guardian told it calmly, even with a hint of amusement, as if none of it mattered now - the ex-warlord felt her soul being wrenched with every word. She was hearing the consequences of her ruthless ways from one who'd been through it. True, Xena hadn't been personally responsible for Morgin's life, but she had been responsible for too many others with similar fates, and she listened with the determination of a penitent being scourged.
 
At that moment, Morgin paused. "Is that bruise still bothering you?" she asked, with genuine concern.
 
"Don't worry about it," the warrior shrugged. She opened the saddlebag and retrieved the jar of salve. "You were saying?"
 
Morgin shrugged. "Anyway, about that time - it was ten summers ago, I think I was seventeen - I began to plan, to look for a way out. One day I was left alone and unbound and I escaped through a kitchen window and ran from the house, and the city, and into the desert. It wasn't a good plan…" The guardian gave a wry chuckle, then dipped her fingers into the stream. "My reading was sadly deficient in some areas. I knew little of the lands around me, like exactly where the next city was. I didn't even bring more than a couple of skins of water. I wandered for days. I was careful with the water - I wasn't stupid - but I got hopelessly lost."
 
Both horses seemed to have satisfied their thirst, and with a brief look and a nod, the two women mounted up and rode on at a fast walk. "The desert was flat and lifeless," Morgin continued, "but at some point I noticed a mountain and headed for it, hoping to find shelter from the sun. As I got closer though, I saw a figure standing on an outcropping halfway up the cliff. It took hours for me to reach that mountain of bare rock, and it never moved, not once. At first I thought I was seeing things … again."
 
Morgin urged her mount over a root, then flashed Xena a grin. "By then I was plagued with visions from the heat. Yet this one persisted and I was convinced it was real, probably something carved from the rock, since the color was the same. I was weak and tired, but it fascinated me, and I determined to climb there and see it more closely. A courtesan's life hadn't made me fit or strong, but I had nothing else to do, so I made myself try. It took a full day and the last of my water but I finally made it, my hands and knees scraped raw as I collapsed, exhausted at her feet. She wore a gown of white, which flapped lightly in the breeze, yet she was totally immobile and covered with a layer of fine, wind-blown sand - even her eyes. I couldn't understand why anyone would clothe a statue, or leave it in so desolate a place. It seemed to have been there for many years."
 
The guardian gave wry chuckle, shook her head. "I didn't know what to make of it, but my strength was failing, and I realized this was where I had come to die. I was saddened to think I was dying alone, with no one to know or care of my passing, never to make any difference in the world." Morgin slowed her horse. "I looked up at that face, so serene and beautiful yet hauntingly sad, and decided she had to be an idol of some kind. So I knelt before her and prayed…"
 
Morgin paused, Dumuzi coming to a full stop. Xena reigned Argo to a halt as well, watching the guardian as she inhaled slowly. Morgin looked up, her eyes searching the past. "I told her I had nothing to offer, nothing but myself, and that I wasn't worth much. Yet I promised if she gave me leave to stay with her for eternity in that place, treat me well and grant me peace, I would love and serve her forever in the next life."
 
Morgin looked at Xena, the guardian's eyes moist above her grin. "And as consciousness left me, I remember, as clearly as I see you now, what I thought would be the last thing I would ever behold … she looked at me, and smiled."
 
* * *

 
"So, that's Kesan," Gabrielle observed as they rounded a stand of trees. The small city had grown next to where the river met the sea, and its walls were high and seemed well-maintained. By looks and reputation, Kesan was a quiet, restful place.
 
"Sure is," Meleager replied. "I led the defenses here once, Captain of the Guard." The aging warrior gave a half grin. "Well, OK, I was a lot younger then. Passed through there just a couple of months ago though, and Thesocles still runs things. We'll all sleep in beds tonight … and you're welcome."
 
Solari snorted. "Find me a bath and a decent masseuse, oh Meleager the Mighty, and then I'll thank you. A simple bed in a city ain't much of an accomplishment - it's not like I don't have a few dinars on me. Gods, when I really need a bed, I can usually get one with a wink and a smile," she said playfully
 
Meleager rolled his eyes. "I'll see what I can do … Uhhh, Amazons!"
 
Gabrielle giggled. "OK, OK - Meleager, it's your job to get everyone safe lodging, and make sure we can stay for a few days. Solari … just try to keep the Amazons under control, OK? We've already got enough of a reputation as tough drunks with a lech for the locals, and now here we are riding in with a caravan of, um, sexually eager priestesses. It's a good chance to unwind, but don't let it get out of hand, got that?"
 
"Your word is law, my Queen," Solari replied, feigning seriousness. "I'll pass that around."
 
"Just don't pass anything - or anyone - else around," Gabrielle replied, fighting back a blush. "And, I guess I should have a word with Lilith. C'mon, forward…"
 
* * *

 
Late in the night the warrior and the guardian sat across from each other around a small fire, their simple meal finished. "Do you wish me to continue?" Morgin asked. "I'm not that tired, but if you wish to sleep…"
 
Xena pulled out her whetstone and set about sharpening her sword. "Go ahead," she answered simply. Morgin's story had tweaked points of guilt inside Xena the ex-warlord had tried to forget were there, and a few she hadn't known were. Still, the warrior thought grimly, I'll be damned if I stop listening now.
 
"In truth, there isn't much more to tell," the guardian shrugged, then gave a smile. "However, since we have nothing but time…" She reached for her bedroll and resumed. "I awoke in a large, cool cave. I was confused for a bit - there were so many sensations, and I'd expected I wouldn't feel anything ever again. The cave was well lit by lamps. I was lying on a soft mat, covered by a sheet of quilted silk. I realized I had been bathed, my sunburned skin treated with a soothing, fragrant oil, and I smelled food cooking. It took me some time, but eventually I raised my head and saw her, the one from the cliff, seated, relaxed, smiling at my feet. She had the ruddy glow of smooth skin, not the rock I thought she had been earlier. I thought sure it was the idol come to life." She chuckled. "In a way, it was."
 
Morgin settled over onto her side, staring into the fire. "I asked her if I was dead, and her smile widened. She said, 'Do you wish to be?'" Morgin looked thoughtful for a moment. "I wasn't afraid, but I asked what she meant, and she said, 'To die is to be reborn. You offered to love and serve me in your next life. I tell you now that you are safe, and will soon be healthy. You have a choice as few ever do - go back to your old life as you see fit, or stay, and begin a new one.'"
 
Xena regarded the other woman for a moment. Morgin may have claimed to not be much of a storyteller, but she caught the cadence of Lilith's voice almost perfectly.
 
"I know I didn't really understand her," the guardian smiled, "but the choice … well, that I understood. I felt such compassion and love flowing from this woman, such complete acceptance, I made my decision in a heartbeat. Although I was still very weak I knelt forward until I was bowing low in the most submissive posture I knew - one I had never willingly taken before, with anyone - and begged to let me serve her. It was both the hardest, and the easiest thing I've ever done."
 
Xena blinked. 'I could serve you…' The warrior's own words from so long ago echoed in her mind. Yeah, but I turned away, she thought, saddened and spiteful towards herself, went back to being just a slave - a slave to my anger, to my hatred…
 
Morgin didn't seem to notice Xena's attention waver and continued. "She knelt next to me, embracing me warmly, holding me as I shook with sobs. When they passed I was too weak to move, and she gently lay me back on the mat, drawing the covers up. Wiping away my tears, she said, 'Those who would serve me do so by serving others, and this through serving themselves. Your first step is to become healthy and strong. Then I will teach you of yourself.' She fed me some broth, and … ahhh…"
 
Morgin gave a sudden laugh, cocking her head at the warrior with a playful smile. "I tell you true, Xena - years later Lilith confessed she'd made the broth from desert mice, since she didn't have any food of her own and they were all she could find."
 
The warrior smiled back. "Ah, that's not so bad." She tried to relax. "You don't want to hear some of the things I've had to eat."
 
Morgin rolled her eyes. "This I believe." Then she shook her head, staring into the fire. "Still," the guardian said softly, "it hardly mattered - she offered it with a care and devotion I'd never known before. I thought then it was the most wonderful thing I had ever tasted. I fell asleep in her arms."
 
Morgin sighed, then a moment later gave a yawn and rolled onto her back. "The rest is simpler. We spent a year in the desert, and she taught me so many things. She told you of her gifts, how she reads people, helps them feel?"
 
"Yeah," Xena nodded.
 
Morgin nodded back. "Learning from her was such pleasure. She filled me with the song of the Earth, showed me the pattern of all living things. It was wondrous, and I found my path with an ease that surprised me." She chuckled softly. "Though I confess it took time to separate the love I had for combat from my anger and desire for revenge."
 
Xena sighed. "Probably helped you were alone, with no … distractions."
 
"True," Morgin replied. "Yet I had her love, and felt the love of the Earth so keenly. I think we could have lived in a crowded market and it wouldn't have mattered."
 
"Probably," Xena agreed ruefully. If only I could say the same. "Do you still love her?"
 
"More than anything," Morgin replied warmly. "Only the Earth brings me greater joy than her tiniest of smiles."
 
Xena paused. "But she's sleeping with Meleager…"
 
Morgin chuckled. "Yes, she is." The smaller women shifted her head and looked at Xena. "And when I see the joy he brings her, I love him for it."
 
"I'd think you'd be…"
 
"Jealous?" Morgin smiled. "No. Lilith and I were lovers for a time, and I needed it then. It helped me heal, reclaim my self-worth, to learn that pleasure can be given in love, and not just taken. It's possible we will be again, but it simply became … less important. I find pleasure in so many things now. I have her love always, and she will carry mine with her for eternity, but love takes many forms, and Lilith … Ahhh, Xena, she shares them all."
 
The guardian stared at the stars, eyes heavy with sleep. "She's my teacher, and my guide. She gave me this life I have now, and in a way, I gave her hers - she stood on that rock for untold years before I woke her with my simple plea, and every day she thanks me for that gift. She is my mother, and my sister. She is my greatest friend. Who shares her bed or mine doesn't matter. Do you see?"
 
Xena's mind drifted back over those in her own life who had loved her, and the fewer still she had loved in return. "I guess I don't know much about … love," she replied.
 
Morgin smiled. "I think you do."
 
The warrior raised an eyebrow. "And I think we need to get some sleep."
 
The guardian yawned. "I think you're right." Morgin chuckled, then made sure her sword was within easy reach before settling back. "Thank you for listening, Xena."
 
"Yeah well, thanks for talking," the warrior responded automatically. Xena blinked again. Gabrielle used to end her stories with almost those exact words for most of the first year they had traveled together.
 
The warrior inhaled and stood. "I'll check around once more. Good night."
 
Morgin shifted her blanket. "Good night Xena."
 
The warrior slipped quietly out of the camp. She made a slow circle of the perimeter, lost in thought, until for some reason she settled on remembering the first meal Gabrielle had ever fixed for the two of them.
 
Was it the second, or third night we were together? It had been a busy day. Xena was grimy and spattered with blood, and after starting the fire and satisfying herself that the girl was making a decent camp, the warrior had wordlessly headed for the nearby brook.
 
The wash had taken longer than it should have as Xena worked to calm herself down. True, the fight hadn't been Gabrielle's fault, but if the girl hadn't tried to reason with the brigands, she wouldn't have gotten close enough for one of them to grab her, and that had complicated things.
 
Then as her anger had cooled a little, Xena noted that she hadn't exactly tried to hold the young bard back - partly from wry amusement at the girl's naivete, and, at least partly, to teach the girl a lesson when talking didn't do the trick and…
 
She got nabbed, the warrior finished her own thought.
 
This isn't working, Xena had reflected, and not for the first time. I owe her. I know that. But she's nothing but trouble, she won't stop jabbering, and she's clouding my judgement. She's bound to get herself or both of us killed. Leave her at the next village and be done with it.
 
When she'd returned to camp, Xena had been a little surprised to see the young girl look up, then sheepishly walk around the fire, hand her a bowl, and resume her original spot - for once, without talking. The warrior had accepted the meal without even looking at it, still pondering where the next village might be as she sat on a log, staring at the fire while she absently took a bite.
 
Her chewing had suddenly slowed. She'd looked in the bowl. Just lumps of meat and vegetables, a slice of bread - stuff from the saddle bags and leftovers from earlier. Doesn't taste right. "What's in this?" the warrior had asked, warily.
 
"You don't like it?" Gabrielle had asked back, all open-eyed disappointment.
 
Xena had chewed for a moment longer, warrior instincts checking - she'd later remember with guilt - for anything toxic. Finding nothing she could sense, she had chewed a little more, curious.
 
Like many things in her life, food wasn't something Xena thought about much - not for a very long time. Years of overindulgence had long since given way to grim, brute necessity. Slowly, one after another, she had withdrawn from every physical sensation, every human feeling, every connection to anything. If it didn't further her goals, she simply didn't care.
 
Sure, for certain practical reasons she kept up appearances. She slept with her soldiers or anyone else she had to, but it had little to do with her own desire, holding out the promise of her body as a reward, so her troops would fight harder, or to make an alliance, or to smooth any number of rough edges. She collected gold and precious trinkets not because of her own greed, but because it made whole kingdoms try to outdo each other when they begged for mercy, and gave greedy mercenaries a reason to join her.
 
Inside, she might as well have been dead for all the interest she had in anything that happened to her. Nothing had mattered but the conquest. Some days it seemed like that was all she had known for as long as she could remember - and then one day, even that hadn't mattered anymore.
 
Food had mattered least of all. It was a base concern. For years she'd made herself eat because her body didn't work otherwise, and that was that.
 
But on this night, sitting in front of a campfire miles from nowhere, she took another bite, and thought about it. It had, she realized, simply taken her a moment to recognize the spices for what they were. It had taken moment more before she recognized … she enjoyed it.
 
She'd looked in the bowl again. This can't the stuff from the bags. Yet it was. It had simply been prepared, not just cooked until it was fit to eat. Xena had rolled it around in her mouth, a long-dormant palate coming back into use. And prepared well…
 
Then she'd looked back at Gabrielle, saw the girl still standing there with the same saddened expression. Xena finally swallowed. "No," she began, "I mean, yes…" Annoyed, Xena had made herself quit stammering. "It's fine," she said simply.
 
When the girl's expression didn't change, the warrior felt herself cringing inside. This is stupid. It's just food. Then she heard herself say, "Actually, it's … it's good."
 
Gabrielle had brightened. "Really?"
 
The warrior had raised an eyebrow. Something about the girl's smile was downright infectious. "Yeah, really," Xena assured her. She looked back at the bowl. "Thanks."
 
"Oh, you're welcome," Gabrielle had bubbled, before attacking her own portion. "I can cook for you every night if you want. I wouldn't mind at all - I mean, I'm used to cooking. Cooking is something I can do. You know, help pull my weight? If you really liked it?"
 
Xena had sighed, but gave an inward smile - her first in months. "All right. Deal."
 
And that was that - she's done it ever since, Xena reflected, leaning back against a tree, looking up at the moon. Such a simple thing really. But then it seems like every day she shows me how my senses are good for something other than telling if there's danger around - not to mention a few other things, like trust, and patience … and love. Leading me back from a world that's gray and meaningless, sharing her light. She chuckled. Guess I heard the way to warrior's heart was through her stomach. Who knew?
 
She sighed. Been away from you for a single day. By all the gods, miss you already -
 
A sudden sharp crack of wood on bone and a loud cry snapped the warrior out of her reverie. "Hades," she hissed, running back towards the camp.
 
She arrived at the low fire in time to see Morgin make short work of a stocky, badly armored man. A second already lay sprawled on the ground.
 
The guardian smiled as the warrior broke into the camp. "Not to worry," Morgin announced, flushed but not even breathing hard. "Common thieves, I think. Heard them coming long before they got here."
 
The warrior just nodded, turning the nearest one over with her booted foot. "Good work," she said absently. Yeah, just the usual thugs, she noted. So how come I didn't…
 
Xena shut her eyes. Simple, dumb warrior, because you were out pining at the moon instead of patrolling. She turned to Morgin. "You all right?"
 
"Yes," the smaller woman replied. "Shall I check for others?"
 
Xena scanned the trees, listened. "No," she said finally. "There's no one else. It's just a couple of opportunists who saw the fire. Come on, let's tie 'em up. We'll haul them to the road, leave them there. They'll be out cold at least until morning."
 
The two thieves were trussed up in short order, and afterwards Xena made a careful, determined inspection of the surroundings before finally turning in. She lay down, balling up her fists under the bedroll with anger. Better straighten up and ride right, she yelled at herself. It's not like this love thing hasn't gotten you in trouble before. Get your head together now warrior - before you wake up with it separated from your shoulders…
 

Chapter 7


The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive