In Our Dreams by Caden Ashford

I woke up the morning after with only a little bit of a hangover, but I knew the water last night had helped, and that it was nothing compared to what Tracy would be feeling. I yawned and stretched in the bed, feeling the stiffness in my arms and shoulders from carrying Trace around so much. After a moment my bladder called, so I went into the bathroom next door and took care of business before going back into the bedroom and looking for my clothes. I pulled my pants on and considered my shirt, but I decided not to bother and left it lying rumpled on the floor. Instead, I went down the hall to Tracy's bedroom and rummaged through one of her closets, coming up with a navy work shirt that I just knew belonged to Mr. Asshole. It was neat and pressed and stain-free, so it looked like he'd either never worn it before, or had just had it cleaned. I figured I was safe from his germs, but I poked through Tracy's dresser for a t-shirt just in case. I left his shirt open over the t-shirt and looked in the mirror, giggling at how incredibly huge the thing was. Rick was embroidered over my right breast, and the name of the garage he owned was embroidered over the left. I wondered what expression he'd get on his face if he saw me wearing the shirt, and the image wasn't pleasant, so I took the thing off and tossed it towards Tracy's hamper, not surprised when it landed on the floor well short of my goal. I grinned and let it lie there; maybe he'd get mad about it being wrinkled later. I'd have to take bets with Tracy about how soon the vein in his forehead would start pulsing.

I sauntered into the kitchen and set about making some kind of breakfast. I puttered around for a while but then found myself sipping at a glass of orange juice as I watched the toaster, willing it to work faster. I heard noise from the living room and poked my head out to see Tracy rolling over on the couch, the blanket half on the floor, her shirt wrinkled and riding up her torso. I snorted and turned back to the toaster, grinning as my toast popped up.

I enjoyed my toast and juice at the kitchen table, thinking about how Kate had looked leaning against it. I must have gotten caught up in my thoughts, because all of a sudden Tracy had dropped into the chair opposite me, eyes bloodshot, hair sticking up every which way, looking a little bit like death warmed over. I beamed at her. "Morning, Trace!" I said, deliberately loud.

She scowled and glared at me. "Not a good morning," she growled.

I got up from the table and grabbed a mug from one of the cabinets, pouring her a cup of coffee. I had never liked the stuff, myself, but Tracy didn't function without it. I set the mug down in front of her and took my seat again, wrapping my hands around the cup holding what was left of my orange juice.

Tracy buried her nose in the mug and sighed, giving me a thankful look as she drank. When she'd finished her cup of coffee, she ran a hand through her hair and set the mug down, looking slightly more human than she had just minutes before. "Thanks," she said, sitting there for a little while longer before getting up and refilling the mug.

"Want some aspirin?" I asked, keeping my voice lower this time.

She gave me a look that said I was a saint, and I grinned at her before disappearing into the bathroom across the hall. I came back out with two aspirin, which she took with another muttered thank you. Now she had her coffee and her painkillers; she'd have to deal with the rest of it, and she knew it. She sank back down into the chair she'd vacated, and I stood there noting how sad and disheveled she looked.

I decided to take pity on her. "Eggs or toast?" I asked, crossing over to the fridge.

"Eggs," she said at first, but then her stomach must have rolled over or something, because she looked distinctly green as she cleared her throat and shook her head. "I mean toast."

I nodded and popped more bread into the toaster, leaning back against the counter. I stared at the appliance for a while before I remembered that wouldn't help, and refocused on my friend. "I bet Rick shows up to get his stuff today," I said.

She looked down into her coffee. "Wouldn't surprise me."

We shared the silence, but unlike last night with Kate, this one wasn't awkward, it was natural. Eventually the toast popped up and before long I was sitting at the table again with a fresh glass of juice while Trace ate her toast. She put it down halfway through the second piece, looking green again; I took it and ate the rest, and then rinsed the plate and my glass. Tracy stood and put her coffee cup in the sink. "I'm gonna take a shower," she said, "and then?tell me about last night, 'kay?"

I smiled. "Yeah, sure."

I found stuff to do while Tracy was in the shower, mostly cleaning up the kitchen. I cleaned things that didn't need cleaning, just so I'd have something to do. I had even wiped down the burners on her stove when I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to kill some more time. I got absorbed into some cooking show and was considering finding a pen and paper to write down the recipe when Tracy came into the living room, combing her wet hair. She sat down next to me and I turned the TV off.

We sat in silence for as long as she could stand it before she poked me in the side. "Well, c'mon, Jessie, what happened?"

"What, you don't remember?" I teased. She just glared, so I laughed. "Not too much, really. We both got trashed, except you drank more than I did, as usual."

Her brow furrowed. "There was a woman, wasn't there?" she asked. "A tall one?" Then her eyes widened. "A tall, hot one!" She slapped my knee. "What happened, Jess? C'mon, tell me!"

I smiled and didn't say anything, letting her sweat.

"Pleeeeease?" she begged.

I rolled my eyes and broke down, more because I hated it when she whined than any other reason. "Her name is Kate, and yes, I have her number."

Tracy's eyes lit up and she just about started bouncing next to me. "Really!?"

I sighed. "Yes, really. She drove us both?" I trailed off and groaned. "Oh god. We're stuck here."

"What?"

"We're stuck here! I was too drunk to drive, so Kate insisted on taking us home, and I had her come here because you were passed out and I couldn't haul you up three flights of stairs, even with her help." I covered my face with my hands and leaned back into the couch.

Tracy groaned too. "And my car's at your place."

I nodded, feeling miserable. How were we going to get out of this one? As much as I enjoyed pissing off Rick Asshole, I wasn't sure I wanted to be there when he moved out.

Thankfully, Tracy had a bright idea. "Let's just call Crystal and go to lunch!" she said, getting up off the couch. "I'll call her; you go get in the shower. You smell, pal."

I growled, but knew she was probably right. I stood up. "Where's my toothbrush?" I asked.

"Guest bathroom, where else?"

I nodded and headed down the hall to the bathroom, pausing at the door and glancing at my watch. "Uh?Trace?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't have any clean underwear."

She frowned, and her eyes rolled up as she seemed to consider that. "No?I think you might, actually. Lemme go look."

I went into the bathroom and searched the medicine cabinet until I found my toothbrush. Trace and I had been friends for years - I'd stopped trying to keep track of how often I stayed at her place, or she at mine, a very long time ago. Some time not long after college, probably, and that had been years ago. I started brushing my teeth, remembering how excited Tracy had been to get this house as essentially a graduation present from her parents. They'd been so proud of her for finishing college in four years, unlike her older brother Chris, who at that point had so far taken seven, including the two years he took off to "find himself." But they came from money, so it wasn't like they couldn't afford it. The house had been another gift in a long string of similar gifts - a horse when she was younger, a brand new car when she turned sixteen, an apartment to live in during college?you name it, Tracy had had it. I was just glad I'd met her in college, when by her own account she'd grown up, stopped being a princess, and learned to live like a normal person. Though, of course, we'd used the apartment to our benefit.

I smiled to myself as I rinsed the toothbrush and my mouth, tapping it on the edge of the sink as Tracy came into the bathroom and set not only a pair of underwear, but a bra and a shirt down on the counter. "I think you left them here that time the neighbors were gone and we, uh, borrowed their pool," she said.

I considered that, and started laughing. "Yeah, I guess I did. We heard them coming and, man, did we ever book it! Butt naked, soaking wet?we hopped the fence and I was so scared of getting caught I stopped in the house just long enough to grab a towel and my keys."

Tracy was laughing too as she leaned against the doorjamb. "Uh huh." She gave me a suspicious look. "Whose idea was it to go skinny dipping in the neighbors' pool, anyway?" she asked, eyes narrowed at me.

I pointed a finger at her. "Oh, no. Don't you dare try to pin that one on me. That was you all the way. The way I remember it, you practically had to beg me to go along with it!"

She cocked her head in thought, and then laughed again. "I guess you're right." She stood up and shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever forget watching that towel flap around your bare ass while you ran for the car." She smirked. "It was a pretty nice ass, too."

"Was?!" I repeated. "I'll have you know I have a great ass, thank you very much!"

She laughed again as she left the bathroom. "I know, I'm just teasin' ya."

I grumbled. "Damn well better be," I said to myself, shutting the bathroom door and going about the business of cleaning up. When I was freshly showered I put on the clothes Tracy had left me along with yesterday's jeans, coming out of the bathroom with her shirt in one hand and my underwear in the other. "Hey Trace?" I called.

"Yeah?" she answered, probably from her bedroom if I guessed right. I headed that way, and poked my head around the corner to see her piling things on the bed.

"This is yours," I said, holding out the shirt. She took it and threw it at the hamper, and it landed right atop the pile. I frowned, wishing I had that skill, but then put it behind me when I noticed all the things she was taking out of the drawers and closets were Rick's. "I take it you're packing for the ass?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I figure this way I can be sure he doesn't 'accidentally' forget something, y'know?"

I nodded, knowing all too well how that worked. My last girlfriend had "accidentally" left her "favorite" shirt in my drawer?really, she'd just wanted an excuse to show up and try and convince me to take her back. Truth be told, she hadn't left a goddamn thing - when I asked her about the shirt, she acted like she'd forgotten, then went into my bedroom and came out holding my favorite shirt. That's when I'd lost it and slapped her. Tracy had nearly killed herself jumping for joy when I told her that part.

The way I figured it, this breakup with Rick was utterly brilliant; I'd never thought he deserved her, but she was so happy at the beginning that I'd overlooked it and let her enjoy it. He'd actually been pretty decent to her then, too, so I tried to convince myself that the bad gut feeling I had was wrong. After a few months she asked him to move in, and suddenly, things started going downhill. Rick turned into some kind of Neanderthal, expecting Tracy to clean up after him all the time?and she did, even though she hated it. She kept assuring me that he was a nice guy; he just wasn't the neatest in the world. Of course, it kept getting worse - he would stay out late with his guy friends, or he'd get held up at work?it was like after he moved in, he got bored with her and tried everything he could to be out of the house when she was there. She'd called him on it once and he'd said some kind of bullshit that convinced her he was utterly devoted to her, and somehow they'd maintained the status quo until yesterday when he'd come home saying he was in love with someone else. Tracy had finally done the right thing and turned him out, saying she didn't want to see him until he came to get his stuff. It was that part that had me proud of her.

A little while after Rick moved in with Trace, I told her honestly that I didn't like him - every time we were in the same room, it was painfully obvious just how much I didn't like him. The longer we knew each other, the worse it got, until finally I refused to be in the house with him. Tracy and I had worked around it, of course, meeting up when he was out, or going out when he was staying in. I hadn't seen him in months, thank god -

My inner monologue was cut short by the noise of the door being unlocked and opened, and heavy footsteps on the wooden floor of the hallway. "Uh oh. Brace yourself," I muttered, moving to lean against the wall between the bed and the closets so I'd have a good view of the action.

Rick came into the bedroom, frowning when he saw all his stuff piled on the bed. Tracy took the last of his shirts from the closet and threw them on top of the pile, then stood there facing him, hands on her hips. "Well? There it is, take it and get gone."

He scratched one stubbly cheek, eyes darting from the pile to Tracy to me and back to the pile - then back to me, as he seemed to register my presence. I almost wished I were still wearing his shirt, just to piss him off. "What the hell is she doing here?" he asked, pointing at me.

Tracy didn't even look. "Unlike you, she doesn't need a reason to be here."

I looked at him, overjoyed when his jaw tightened at that remark. He hated me, and to hear her so openly defending me - which I'm not sure she'd ever done to his face before - was probably a pretty big blow to his ego. He glared at me and turned to the pile, gathering as much of it as he could in his arms. "Will you open the door," he said through clenched teeth. It wasn't even a question, and I found myself hating him just a little bit more, too.

Tracy opened the front door for him, and he came back for more of his stuff. It took him a couple more trips before he had everything loaded up in his truck, and once he did, Trace made it clear he had no other business there, and ushered him out the door. He stood there by his truck, a scowl marring his normally handsome features. "Enjoy the dyke, you frigid bitch," he said.

That got to me. As much as we disliked each other, he hadn't once called me names - at least not that I knew of. So to hear that from his lips?it set my blood boiling, and I was about to go down there and deck him when he climbed into his truck like a coward and drove off, leaving the two of us on the porch, me pissed off beyond belief, and Tracy apparently resigned to his bad behavior. "That asshole!" I shouted, turning to my friend. "How can he say that, Trace!"

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "I dunno, Jessie," she whispered. We stood there staring at the place his truck had disappeared, until another car came around the corner and pulled into the drive.

The woman who got out was as tall and thin as any model I've ever seen, with long, light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She leaned on her car door and took off her sunglasses. "Are we going or what?" she asked, and I touched Tracy's elbow.

We got our things together and piled into Crystal's car, and she asked what had just happened, so Tracy filled her in about Rick's little visit. She didn't mention anything about the other woman or their breakup, so I assumed that must've happened during the phone conversation earlier when Tracy asked Crystal to take us to lunch.

Sure enough, as we were sitting waiting for our food at lunch, Crystal brushed a few stray hairs out of her face and looked at me with interest. "What's this I hear about a Kate?" she asked.

I blushed and studied the table in front of me. "Not much, really. I don't know anything about her. She drove us back to Tracy's last night and gave me her number, and that's really about it."

"Is that it, or is that 'about it?'" Crystal replied, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

I sighed. There was never any hiding anything from Crystal. She was a therapist, and it was her job to know when people were bullshitting her. Unfortunately, she couldn't ever seem to turn off the therapist mode, because she always picked up on bullshit. I hesitated and then looked away. "I kissed her."

Tracy leaned forward. "What! You did not mention that before."

"Was it good?" asked Crystal.

I stared off into space, remembering the feeling of Kate's hot mouth pressed against mine, her cheeks under my hands, and then the sudden sting of the cigarette against my stomach. "Shit," I hissed, lifting up the hem of my shirt and looking down. Sure enough, there was a burn off to one side of my bellybutton. "I forgot about that," I mumbled, studying it.

Crystal leaned in and gasped when she saw. "What the fuck, Jessie! Where did that come from? Did she hurt you?"

I shook my head and lowered my shirt. "We uh?got carried away, and I forgot about the cigarette she was holding."

"She smokes?" asked Crystal, frowning at me. Smoke gave her headaches, so Kate being a smoker, in her eyes, should have been a deal-breaker.

I squirmed. There was no right answer to this question, because Crystal already knew the answer, and it was the wrong one. I didn't know Kate well enough to be able to say how often, which would have been the only saving grace, but judging by how many she'd lit up during the time we'd been together, that wouldn't save me either.

Fortunately, Tracy came to my rescue. "You didn't answer the question, Jessie - was it a good kiss?"

I felt relief roll through me. "It was really, really good," I answered, smiling automatically as I thought again of how it felt to kiss Kate.

Crystal sat back in her chair, still studying me. "Sounds like you like her."

I fidgeted with my napkin. "Yeah, I?she told me to call her, so I guess I will, and then maybe we'll find out if she likes me, too."

"Well, I hope she treats you better than Rick treated Trace."

I looked over at Tracy; she seemed uncomfortable, so I decided to change the subject. "How're the boys?" I asked Crystal, knowing this was definitely a safe topic for everyone.

Crystal's eyes lit up as they always did when she talked about her two dogs. "Adorable, as ever. And eating me out of house and home, but that's not news."

"Causing trouble?" asked Tracy.

"Well, the other day?" she started, going on to tell us all about the shenanigans the new puppy, Tex, got up to when she wasn't looking. With Crystal talking about the dogs, Tracy and I had a chance to relax, since she could go on about them for days.

I caught Tracy's eye, and she mouthed a thank you at me. I just smiled back, and we stayed on the subject for a long while until the conversation moved on to other topics, as it tended to do; work, of course, and our other friends. I managed to keep things steered away from Rick and the breakup, and when we were leaving the restaurant, Tracy grabbed my elbow and gave me an incredibly thankful look. I just smiled back at her.

We got back into Crystal's car and she drove us to the place where I'd parked my car. She offered Tracy a ride to my place, but I cut in and told her there was no point in taking two cars there, especially since Crystal had places to be. She hesitated for a second but then agreed and we said our goodbyes while I dug out my keys and unlocked the car.

It was a quiet ride back to my apartment. When we arrived we got out and Tracy came around the car and hugged me tight. "Thank you," she whispered.

I shrugged. "You don't have to thank me, Trace."

She shrugged back. "I know?but thanks anyway." We hugged again and went into my apartment building, up the stairs to the third floor, where I let us in and she gathered her things from the coffee table. When she was ready, we walked to the door.

"You're coming on Friday, right?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

She laughed. "Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

I beamed back at her. "Take care," I said, and she hugged me again before leaving. I shut and locked the door, leaning against it for a moment, considering what I should do next. I had laundry that needed to be done, dishes that needed to be put away, a book that I needed to read, and a desk that sorely needed to be organized. But it was only Saturday?

I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to the Food Network and vegged out until I noticed it was starting to get dark. Then I got up and went into the kitchen and poked through the refrigerator, only to find out I didn't have a damn thing in the house except some yogurt, onions, and beer. If I looked really hard, I might be able to find some hot dogs or something in the freezer, but I was feeling lazy, so I figured maybe I'd order in. Call?phone?I was supposed to call?

"Kate!" I shouted, and hurried through the apartment, looking for my phone. Of course, I couldn't find it, so I grabbed the land line and dialed my cell number and followed the noise, only to discover it hiding between the seat cushions of my couch. I hung up the land line and blew out a relieved breath as I sat down on the couch, cell in hand.

I stared at it for a long time, but finally summoned my courage and looked through the phone book, brow furrowing when I didn't see a "Kate" listed there, or just a plain phone number. "What the hell?" I muttered to myself, being more meticulous this time, going through the phone book name by name. I only had to get to the C's before I realized what Kate had done. "Call me." I laughed and pressed send, holding the phone up to my ear. It rang a few times, but then someone answered.

"Hello?" it was a man's voice, and I found myself wondering if Kate had played me. I was almost afraid to say something, until the man repeated himself. "Hello?"

"Oh. Um?is?is Kate there?" I asked, suddenly aware that I was biting my fingernails. I made a conscious effort to stop.

"Uh, no, I don't think so," the man said. Then there was a pause, and he came back on the line. "Oh, she is here." I heard him calling for her in the background. "Kate! Phone!" Then he came back again. "She's coming."

"Thank you."

A moment of silence, then the sounds of the phone being jostled, and then heavy breathing. "Hello?" she said, her voice low and breathy; I nearly melted right there.

"Hi," I whispered, and then realized she probably hadn't heard me. "I mean, hi."

I heard her breathing for a little while longer. "I'm sorry, who's this?" she asked.

I swallowed hard. "It's, um." Holy shit, I just forgot my name. "Jessica!" I finished, smacking my forehead with my hand. "From the bar. The girl who ruined -"

Kate's dark laughter rolled through me and I closed my eyes, clutching the phone tighter. "Hi, Jessica." As before, her saying my name sent tremors through me, though this time I was better able to control them since she wasn't physically in my presence.

"Yeah?hi." I bit my lip and searched for something to say. Kate was still practically panting into the phone. "I'm sorry?did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Nah?I was out for a run, just got back."

I sighed and leaned back into the couch. "Listen, I was wondering?" My finger was centimeters from my mouth; I realized I was gearing up to bite the nail and made myself drop my hand. "Are you, um?busy tonight?" I had no idea where this courage was coming from, but I wasn't going to question it. It had been years since I'd asked a woman out, and even then I'd only done it once or twice, so this was totally strange, but I embraced it and hoped I could run with it.

I think I heard Kate swallow, but maybe I was wrong. "What'd you have in mind?" she asked.

I froze. Shit. I hadn't gotten that far in my plans before I decided to call her! "I uh?I don't really know. Maybe?dinner and a movie?"

"Are we talking movie theatre or home theatre?" she asked.

I shrugged, but then realized she couldn't see it through the phone. "Whichever."

There was a pause as she seemed to consider this. "Well, you seem to be in luck," she said. "I'm not busy tonight."

"Really?!" The excitement in my voice surprised even me and I pulled a face before reining myself in again. "Okay, then, um, should I pick you up?"

"Unless you're gonna let me smoke in your car?" she trailed off, and I got her point. I loved my car, and as intriguing as I found Kate, it wasn't going to be exposed to a lit cigarette. Crystal would kill me the next time she was inside.

"Would you rather go out or stay in?" I asked.

"How about we decide when I get there."

"Okay."

There was a long pause, but then she asked, "It's a date, then?"

"Yeah, it's a date," I answered, knowing my voice sounded breathy.

"Good," she replied, and I thought I could hear a smile in her voice.

There was another pause, but then I filled the silence and told her where my apartment complex was; she said she knew the area and would be there soon, and we hung up. That's when I realized I hadn't done any of my cleaning - that there was shit all over the coffee table, mail scattered on the kitchen counter, and books piled to one side of the couch. I jumped to work and only stopped when I heard the buzzer signaling me that someone at the gate wanted me to let them in. I didn't even bother with the call button; I just buzzed it, somehow knowing it was Kate.

I kept cleaning right up until I heard a knock on my door and went to open it and let Kate inside. "Hi," I whispered. She smiled and greeted me back, bending to kiss my cheek again. My skin tingled where her lips had touched, and I brought one hand up to my cheek as I studied her studying my apartment.

When her eyes had finished sweeping the area, she looked back at me. "Cute," she said, and I blushed even though I was trying hard not to.

I bit my lip and stepped away from the door to allow her in. She was jingling her keys in one hand, the other tucked safely in her pocket. I took the opportunity to look her up and down. She was wearing mostly the same thing as she'd been wearing the night before, except a different shirt and perhaps different boots - they were heavy and black like the ones I'd thrown up on, so it was hard to say. My eyes trailed up her torso, noting the way her gray t-shirt clung to her curves; my mouth went dry as I kept going up, only to see that she had caught me staring. She just smirked, apparently not surprised. I blushed again and shut the door and when I turned around she was still standing there with her keys in one hand. We had another awkward moment like before, with us just standing there, unsure of what to say, but somehow I overcame it. "So do you wanna go out or stay in?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Depends."

"On what?"

She arched an eyebrow and thought for a moment. "Well, how much food you've got in the fridge, what movies you own, and whether or not you have a balcony."

"A balcony?"

"Yeah. I know most people don't like me to smoke inside." She looked bashful, and I thought it was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen.

"Well, I do have a balcony and I do have a pretty good film library?but the only things I have in the fridge are onions, yogurt, and beer. There might be some hot dogs in the freezer, but I'm not sure I'd trust 'em."

She smiled and tucked her keys into her pocket. "Do you like Chinese?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Who doesn't like Chinese?" I went into the kitchen and grabbed a menu I had stuck to the door with a magnet, bringing it back out to her. "That would solve the food problem."

She took the menu and grinned at me. "Okay, then I guess we'll stay in."

I blew out a sigh of relief, thankful she'd decided not to go out. I was still wearing the clothes Tracy had dug up from god knows where - if Kate had wanted to go out, I would've had to go change because I'd been so busy cleaning I hadn't even thought about what I was wearing. "All right. Well?I guess let's order the food and then we can pick a movie."

Kate nodded, and we looked over the menu together, picking what we wanted. When we'd made our decision I dialed the number I knew by heart. "Hello, Mrs. Wu," I said, smiling. "Yes, the usual, but also -" The woman who owned the restaurant knew my voice and my order, since I called at least once a week. It wasn't that I couldn't cook, it was that I didn't like to bother when it was just me I was cooking for. So she seemed surprised that I was deviating from the order, because it wasn't often that I called for food for more than just myself. "Yes, Mrs. Wu, I have a guest tonight." I rolled my eyes at Kate and she grinned. "No, it's not my friend Tracy?yes, that's right, a new lady friend. Thank you?yes, I'm glad she's here, too." I blushed, listening to her go on about how happy she was I'd found someone. I was sure Kate would tease me about this as soon as I hung up. Finally Mrs. Wu paused for breath and I interrupted her to place Kate's order, and after she said "I so happy for you" a few more times, I managed to say goodbye and hang up.

Kate started laughing and I turned red. "She, um?she knows my usual order," I said, trying to explain. "I've been calling them for a couple of years about once a week so she's gotten used to me ordering for myself, or for me and Tracy?" My ears burned as I put the phone back into its cradle in the kitchen.

Kate was still smiling when I came back out. "Lady friend, huh?" she asked, and I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh as she took off her jacket and leaned against the couch.

I folded my arms over my chest, still uncomfortable. "Um?yeah."

She just grinned away like the Cheshire cat, until eventually she seemed to decide I'd been uncomfortable for long enough. "So what about that movie, huh?"

Grateful for the change in subject, I led the way to the bookshelf where I had my movies. Kate started looking at the titles, but something caught her eye and she turned to face me again. "You organize alphabetically?" she asked, looking incredulous.

I blushed. "Well, yeah?it's easier to find stuff when you know where to look for it."

She chuckled and turned back to the bookshelf, one of her long fingers trailing along the spines of the DVD boxes as she browsed the titles. "A lot of romantic comedies, I see."

I squirmed in place. I didn't have an excuse for that.

She turned and grinned at me. "I love 'em too, but don't let it get around. The guys at work would kill me."

I let out a nervous laugh. "Really? You, uh, don't strike me as the type."

"No, I love 'em all." She kept browsing, but she was still talking as she looked. "I cry, too. Notorious crier."

My eyebrows shot up. "You're kidding."

She shook her head. "Uh uh. We're talking sobbing - box of Kleenex, tissues everywhere - that kind of thing."

I swallowed my surprise. "Wow. Okay. I guess we'll be taking tissues if we ever go out to the movies."

Kate paused to look at me and I realized I'd just made a presumptuous remark - assuming we'd be going out together sometimes, or even just assuming that we'd hang out more after this. Her features were blank for a moment and I was terrified I'd just fucked everything up, but then she grinned at me again and I relaxed. "Yeah. Like I said?just don't tell anyone, 'kay?"

I smiled back, feeling my head bob in agreement.

Eventually Kate pulled a couple of movies off of the shelf and held them out to me. "You pick between those two."

I looked down at my watch and saw it was barely six o'clock. I glanced down at the boxes I held in my hands. "How about we watch them both?" I suggested, again feeling a little bit presumptuous. I looked back up at Kate, but she was smiling.

"Okay," she said.

I sighed in relief and set the boxes down on the coffee table, actually looking at her choices. Two of my favorites - Pretty Woman and Notting Hill. "Got a thing for Julia Roberts?" I asked, grinning at her. This time she blushed, and my grin got even bigger. She mumbled something to herself, but I decided to let it go. I took Pretty Woman out of its case and held it up. "This one first?" She shrugged, and I took it as agreement and went and put it in the DVD player. I came back and sat down on the couch, but Kate was still standing over by the shelf. "C'mon," I said, patting the empty space next to me.

She sat next to me, pushing her dark hair behind one ear, and I saw her ear was still pink. I grinned but said nothing, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. "We'll have to pause it when the food gets here, but we can eat it in front of the TV, if that's okay?"

She nodded and seemed to relax a little more, sinking further back into the couch. I smiled and propped my feet up on the coffee table while she sat there, still a little stiff. I started the movie and reached over to touch her thigh. "It's okay, you know," I said. She sat a little bit stiffer. "Take off your shoes and relax, Kate. Really, it's okay."

She cleared her throat and turned her head, and our eyes locked. Then, slowly, she nodded and reached down to untie her boots. They clunked to the floor in front of her and she hesitated for a moment before propping her feet up next to mine. I squeezed her thigh and let go and we sat back and watched the movie until I heard the buzzer for the gate. I paused the movie and got up to buzz them in, and in a short while the delivery man was at my door. Before Kate could say a word, I paid and tipped him and he left; I sat back down on the sofa, putting the bag of food on the coffee table and pulling things out. I divided the food and asked Kate if she wanted a beer. When she nodded, I got up and opened two and brought them back, setting them on coasters on the table. Once we were arranged I started the movie again and we sat in companionable silence, watching the movie and eating our Chinese.

I finished mine and set the empty carton on the table to clean up later; I was still hungry, and I couldn't help myself - I started eyeing Kate's, especially when she started to slow down with probably a good third of her food still left. When she reached out to put it on the table, I cleared my throat. "You, uh, gonna eat that?" I asked. Kate chuckled and changed direction mid-movement, handing the carton off to me instead. I grinned and finished off her food, and then grabbed the two fortune cookies from the bag, handing one to Kate.

We opened them and shared our fortunes, and I added "in bed" to the end of them in my head and barely managed to contain my giggles, but Kate didn't notice or didn't care, because she didn't ask. I was grateful, because even the idea of sharing that with her made me blush. I was glad the room was now dark enough to hide it.

Eventually the movie ended, and I got up to put in the next one, but Kate grabbed my wrist to stop me. "I, uh?wanna step out on the balcony with me?" she asked.

I realized she wanted a cigarette, so I nodded and after hesitating only a moment outside my bedroom door, I led the way through it and onto the balcony, grateful that Kate chose not to comment on my room. She'd grabbed her jacket when we left the living room, and now she got a cigarette and her lighter out of one of the pockets before laying the jacket across the railing. There was a light wind out on the balcony and I tried my best to ignore it as we both leaned on the rail, her lighting her cigarette and me watching her, just like the night before. When she blew out the smoke it trailed away with the breeze and I found myself getting goosebumps, but I still tried to ignore the cold.

Eventually Kate noticed, because she took the jacket off the rail and held it out to me. I pulled the leather over my shoulders, instantly feeling the cut of the wind disappear. "Thanks," I said.

She smiled around her cigarette, then pulled it away from her lips and exhaled. I watched the smoke blow away. "You're welcome."

We stood there for a while, not talking, her enjoying her nicotine fix, me enjoying watching her get it. Eventually, she stabbed the butt out on the railing and we went back inside. She tossed the butt in the trash and I laid her jacket over the back of the couch, watching as she carefully tucked her lighter away and sat back down. I put our empty Chinese cartons in the bag they'd come in and disposed of it all before I changed the DVD, but then I went back and joined Kate on the couch again. I grabbed the remote and started it, humming along with the opening music. We sat and enjoyed the movie, laughing together. Every time I heard her laugh, I felt a thrill run down my spine, and I knew I'd be wet before the movie was over, but also that I'd be too chickenshit to do anything about it.

I guess I got lucky or something, because somewhere during the movie, Kate laid her arm along the back of the couch, and eventually it ended up around my shoulders. I wasn't conscious of when or how we shifted, but I know that by the end of the movie, we were sitting very close together, with me leaning up against her. Her body was very warm, and I felt her heat soaking into me; as the credits started rolling I sighed and actually leaned further into her, feeling her arm slip further around my shoulders, holding me close. I looked down and saw my hand was on her thigh again, but this time she didn't seem uncomfortable with it. I thought about getting up to put the movie away, but I was too happy to move, so instead I grabbed the remote and stopped it playing, leaving us in silence and relative darkness, lit only by the faint glow of the TV screen. I turned my head slightly, feeling Kate's hot breath on my ear, and shivered, turning even more so that I could look up into her eyes. They were silver again, reflecting the TV; I swallowed hard and we stared at each other for a long moment before her eyes closed and she bent her head, pressing her lips to mine.

I moaned instantly, feeling the hot softness of her mouth on mine. My hand gripped her thigh a little harder as I kissed back. I have no idea how long the kiss lasted, but I was breathless when she pulled away. As the night before, I remained there with my eyes closed and lips parted for a long time, reveling in the sensations I'd just experienced. Finally I opened my eyes and looked into hers again, noting they were darker than they had been however long ago it was when I last looked. "Wow," I breathed.

She nodded and I reached up and kissed her again, a little more insistent this time, though being careful not to try and suggest too much. After all, we were practically strangers - there was no way I was going to sleep with her right then, no matter how attractive I found her. I wasn't that way, and I never had been. So I broke the kiss and pulled away from her, leaning over the arm of the couch to turn on the lamp on the side table. I turned back towards her and noted her face was flushed and her eyes were dark; I swallowed hard and did my best to maintain my distance, having this feeling that I'd lose all my convictions if we kissed again right then.

We stared again in what was rapidly becoming habit, but I looked down at my hands in my lap, unable to look at her as I spoke. "If I kiss you again?you won't leave." It came out as a whisper, so I cleared my throat and decided to clarify, hoping my voice would be stronger this time. "And I need you to leave tonight, Kate. I'm?I'm not that kind of girl."

I saw one of her hands reach into my lap, taking one of mine, so I lifted my eyes to see her press a kiss to the back of my hand. "It's all right, Jessica?I don't mind." She then proceeded to kiss every one of my fingers, turn my hand over, and press a lingering kiss to my palm. "I don't want to do anything you don't want to do."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "Thank you."

She kissed my wrist, and then let my hand go. "You're welcome."

We sat in silence for a while, but eventually I tired of it - it always seemed that I tired of it first, never Kate - and decided to say something. "So where do you work that the guys would be upset with you for having feelings?"

She chuckled, and I opened my eyes as I felt her shifting in her seat. We ended up both leaning against the arms of the couch, our feet together in the middle. "I'm a mechanic," she said, and that was all the explaining she needed to do.

"Ohhhhh." I shook my head. "Tracy's ex is a mechanic, too. Well, he owns a garage, anyway."

There was another silence, but Kate picked it up this time. "What about you, what do you do?"

"I co-own a bookshop," I answered, pushing my hair behind my ear. "We carry mostly mystery novels?it's pretty small, but we do okay. I know what I'm talking about, anyway, so the clients appreciate the fact that I can figure out what they're talking about even if they don't know the name of the book or the author."

"Really? You can figure it out without knowing any of those details?"

I shrugged, picking at a hangnail. "It depends. If they know any of the characters' names, that helps, but a lot of the time people can only give me a vague description, like 'it's about a painting of a chess game, and it's all about who killed the knight in the painting.' I could tell them it's called The Flanders Panel by P�rez-Reverte. Or if you told me you were looking for a book about a woman detective that's set in Egypt, I'd know you're probably talking about an Elizabeth Peters novel."

Kate looked genuinely impressed. "Wow."

I ducked my head. "It's a pretty worthless skill otherwise, but it's something I've been good at ever since I can remember?so I kinda made my life out of it, y'know? I mean, I haven't always managed the shop, of course, but I had a job with a small bookstore in high school one summer and the owner told me it was a really good skill to have, especially with specialty stores, and I never forgot that. So I worked in a couple of bookstores during college, and really liked one of them, so I stayed there, and eventually they promoted me to manager because I knew my shit." I took a deep breath and then went on, "Anyway, the owner at the time, Susan, is an older woman and this was more a hobby than anything else, but she was really getting up there and she was tired of the city?she said I reminded her of her daughter. The poor girl died in a car crash when she was getting ready to go to college." I sighed and picked at my fingers some more. "Well, anyway, Susan and I got along really well and she was tired of running things, so she essentially left the shop in my hands. I mean, technically we're partners, but Sue basically lets me do what I want at this point." I shrugged. "I've worked at The Page Turner for about ten years now and been in charge for the last three, and we've only started really making considerable amounts of money since I was running things." I realized I'd been talking for a long time, so I shut up and forced myself to stop picking at my fingers, looking back at Kate, who, to my surprise, still seemed interested.

"I guess you have a good head for business."

I blushed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

There was a pause, and then I felt Kate's feet pushing against mine to get my attention. I looked up and she was smiling at me. "Good for you, Jessica."

I smiled back at her, and we kept talking. I told Kate more about my shop and she told me a couple of funny stories about working on cars, and before long I glanced at my watch and saw it was nearly midnight. "It's pretty late," I said, suddenly feeling shy again.

Kate looked at her own watch and seemed as surprised as I'd felt. But she didn't move from the couch. I wasn't sure what to make of that, but I suddenly remembered that she didn't have my phone number, so I hopped up and went into the kitchen to find a pen and paper; I soon came back out, folding the scrap. I held it out to Kate, and she took it. "What's this?"

"My number. I have yours, so it's only fair you have mine. I put them both there?my cell and my home number."

She smirked at me. "What about the shop? I don't get that number, too?"

I rolled my eyes, holding out my hand to help her up off the couch. "I don't have the number for your garage, so you don't get the number for my shop." She took my hand and stood up, and I walked her to the door, not letting go even when she paused to grab her jacket off the back of the couch. When we got to the door, though, I did let go. Kate stepped up in front of me, and we looked at each other for a long while before she wrapped her arms around me for a hug. I smiled into her chest and hugged back, not surprised when she got hold of my chin and tilted it up to press her lips to mine in a soft kiss.

"I'll call you this time, 'kay?" she said, waving the paper before she pulled on her jacket and tucked it into one of the many pockets.

I nodded and stepped close again, taking hold of the leather of her jacket and snuggling up against her. "I don't want to say goodbye yet," I mumbled.

She stroked the back of my head. "Then walk me downstairs."

I bobbed my head and reluctantly pulled away, smiling when she took my hand. We got to the bottom of the stairs and went out the door, walking hand in hand to her car. When we got there, we stopped and I let go of her hand, snaking my arms underneath her jacket to keep warm. She chuckled and hugged me close and I buried my nose in her shirt, breathing in the smell of her, not wanting to let go, but knowing I had to. If I didn't, I'd drag her back upstairs and we'd make mad love for hours on end - I cut that train of thought short and forced myself to focus on the moment, tilting my head up to press a kiss to the place where her neck met her shoulder, shoving my libido away. I didn't know what to say, so instead I tilted my head further back, looking into Kate's dark eyes.

She held my gaze for what felt like hours but was probably only seconds, and then bent her head, sealing our lips together. I moaned into the kiss, trying to press myself closer against her, needing to feel her, needing to devour her, memorize her, prove that somehow, she belonged with me, belonged to me. I had no claim on her, of course - one date does not a girlfriend make - but she kept this crazy fire in me brewing, kept me wanting her attention, hungry for her countenance, yearning for her touch.

When we broke the kiss I leaned my head against her chest, taking deep, shaky breaths. "You make me feel?so much," I whispered.

She cupped my cheek and guided my face so I was looking in her eyes again. "Jessica," she purred, and I whimpered, closing my eyes and leaning my face into her hand.

"God, you can't do that, Kate, or I'll never let you leave."

"Maybe I don't want to," she breathed, her mouth hovering over my ear.

I fisted my hands in her t-shirt and groaned, pulling my cheek out of her grasp and burying it in her chest again. "You need to go."

I felt her sigh. "I know," she said, and I could feel her voice vibrating through me. I summoned up what resolve I had left and hugged her extra tight, finally stepping out of the circle of her embrace.

"Goodnight, Kate."

She looked down at me, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, looking up at the sky. "I?" She grunted and shook her head, taking a deep breath as she looked back at me. "G'night, Jessica," she said, bending down to deliver a chaste peck to my lips.

I backed up, watching her unlock her car and get in. As before, as soon as she was comfortable, she rolled the window down and lit up, blowing smoke my way. She looked into my eyes as she dangled her hand out the window, and we relapsed into one of those silences where neither of us seemed to know what to say. And, as usual, the silence got to me first. "When do I get to see you again?" I asked, hugging myself against the cold.

She took a long drag and I followed her hand to her mouth and back down to the body of the car. Smoke curled from her nostrils and I felt my mouth go dry. "In our dreams," she answered, lazily rolling her eyes to meet mine. Then she winked, tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette, and drove off.