Chapter VIII

Randi rode for a long while with no particular destination in mind. The sound of the engine drowned out everything else, including her thoughts. By unintentional design, she found herself speeding down the road that she and the bard regularly took on their Saturday morning rides. The scent of barbeque wafting in the clear air made her stomach rumble, and she realized how long it had been since she had eaten.

Rosie came out to greet her, looking around deliberately when she saw Gwen was nowhere to be found. Her questioning eyes came back to meet Randi's.

"Her father was terribly injured. She's helping her mom out a bit while they try to get him back on his feet."

"I see. And you're not with her because...."

"It's a family matter. There really isn't a place for me there. And I had stuff here that had to be taken care of." She bit her lip. She couldn't say any more, for fear of either bursting into tears, or flying into a rage. The older woman's sharp eyes missed little though, and she accepted the Sabre's words without questioning. It wasn't her place, at this point and time, anyway.

"Well, c'mon in. You can share dinner with an old woman."

Randi made to protest, and then thought better of it. Why not? She's a lonely woman who wants a bit of company. It won't kill me. Besides, she's always been kind to Gwen and me. It won't hurt to repay the kindness.
She took a deep breath and followed Rosie inside.

Their talk was light and general. Rosie kept the conversation rolling, telling Randi about her family, and the latest exploits of her grandchild. The Marine listened politely, even adding occasional commentary. The hour passed pleasantly, and it was only when Randi stood to go that the old woman asked the question that had been bothering her.

"What happened to your face, hon?"

The Sabre turned away reflexively, becoming more self-conscious about the scarring with every inquiry. In a society where deformity was unheard of, it was difficult to suddenly be in the possession of one.

"Cut," she answered briefly.

"And you haven't been to regen.... ?"

"Yes, I have. It won't," briskly. "Look, I appreciate lunch. But I gotta go." She was on the bike and gone before Rosie had processed all her words. The old woman stood looking after her for a long time. Then, tapping her fingers on her lips in thought, she turned and headed back into her cottage. "Oh, Athena," she prayed aloud, "Let me be wrong about this, please."



"Honey, are you sure you don't mind?" Jill and Gwen were having breakfast together. The bard's long soak the night before had become a very short bath, and she had fallen into bed without the benefit of dinner first. Her exhaustion had taken precedence, but now her hunger was coming to the fore. The mother just watched in amazement as her daughter continued to devour her breakfast. "Were you starving, dear?"

Gwen nodded and swallowed. "Pretty much. And no, Mother, I don't mind." She took a sip of juice and cleared her throat. "You go find a place for you and Daddy. I'll go home and pack up your stuff."

The doctor had come in before Jill had left Geoff's side the previous evening, and they had spent a bit of time going over treatment possibilities. The one that looked most promising was quite drawn out, and would require at least a temporary move to the capital city. So now Jill was going to find a place for them to live. Gwen had offered to travel back up north to retrieve enough of their things to make them comfortable during their stay.

"I'd really appreciate it, dear. I'll tell you what... I'll make you a list of what I need and where it is. You should be able to get it done, and be back here in a day or two."

The blonde nodded her agreement again, and swallowed her last morsel of food. "While you're doing that, I'm gonna go say goodbye to Reed and Tiny. They should be headed back home before I get back here."

"All right. I'll meet you there then."

Gwen got up and kissed her mother absently, then went to the medifac.

It was quiet when she stepped inside the small building. The few staff members seemed to be elsewhere at the moment, and a peek at her father showed him back in the regen chamber, soundly asleep. She looked around for Tiny and Reed, hoping she hadn't missed them. Chance took her out to the garden, and she saw them sitting contentedly wrapped up in one another's arms. It sparked a longing within her, but she pushed it aside.

"Hey, guys! How ya doing?"

Two heads turned in her direction at the sound of her voice, and both smiled a welcome. Tiny wondered at the flinch he felt tremble through his partner's body as the bard neared them. He looked down in concern, but she didn't say a word. He knew it would be up for discussion later.

"Better," he answered for both of them. "We are waiting for the doctor to give us the go ahead, and then we are out of here." He smiled. "We've gotta get home before those puppies arrive."

The bard smiled back. "I had forgotten all about that. Is it still okay for me to come out for the birth?"

Reed nodded. "Of course. Ditto would never forgive any of us if you weren't there."

Gwen looked squarely at the breeder now. She could see the newly healed tissue in and around her eyes. "How are your eyes, Reed?"

The woman shrugged. "Sensitive, but much better. They still have some healing to do, but they are going to be fine."

"I'm glad." The bard sighed. "I am so sorry you...."

"Enough. I was glad we could be there, for you and for Randi. And they will heal fine. How is your dad?"

"Better. Taking it one day at a time. They are going to try a new treatment therapy on him. It is still gonna be a difficult road to travel, but he's willing to try it to regain the use of his legs."

"Well, given his incentive, I don't see anything stopping him from walking again."

Gwen's brows creased in puzzlement, but then she agreed. "I'm gonna go back home and pack up some stuff for them to have here, since they're gonna have to live here for at least a while. But I wanted to come say goodbye to ya'll, and wish you luck. You'll be gone before I get back."

"Yep, but you'll be coming out for the weekend. Still, I'm glad you stopped by to let us know the news." Tiny noticed she never mentioned Randi. "You travel safe, and we'll see you in a few days, all right?"

"Ya'll too." She stood, and patted Reed's hand. "I'm glad you're gonna be okay, my friend."

"Thanks, Gwen." They watched until she walked out of sight. Reed looked up sadly at Tiny. "It's gone, love. Their bond is gone."



Randi returned to the beach house very late. She had long since turned the rumble of the motor off, losing herself in the night sounds of crickets and wind and waves. She parked the motorcycle, taking care to wipe it down meticulously and tarp it before entering the dark structure. Almost immediately, the familiar aromas assaulted her, and for a very long moment, she feared becoming physically ill. Knowing there was no where she could go to escape them, she shed her clothes, and crawled into the big bed she and Gwen had shared so happily only a few days before. The sheets still held the bard's scent, and the warrior was helpless to do anything, aside from curling herself around Gwen's pillow, and crying herself quietly to sleep.

When the sun rose the next morning, Randi woke from a fitful doze. The first few hazy moments, she lost herself in the familiar scent that surrounded her, and she smiled with pleasure. But awareness came to her abruptly, and she found she craved the gentle fingers tracing her features in discovery. She got up, and made a haphazard toilet, before taking off down the beach for a run. She needed to make a few decisions, and running would give her the clear head she needed.

It didn't take long, relatively speaking. By her second lap around the island, she had come to a decision, and formulated a plan of attack. Well, love, if you don't remember, I'll just have to remind you. And this time, I'll court you like you deserve to be courted."



Aphrodite smiled to her sister when they heard these words. "You go, girl," she whispered the image in her scrying bowl. "This might work out better than we hoped."

Artemis smiled. "I'm glad she finally figured it out. She had me on pins and needles for a while there."

"You and me both, sister. You and me both."

Athena walked into the room, a worried frown on her face. "We may have a more serious problem here than we thought."

"What's wrong, The? Randi has finally figured out what she needs to do, and Gwen is actually trying to understand what happened from the Sabre's point of view. Things are slowly coming back together." Dite smiled, quite pleased with the turn of events. The goddess of wisdom chewed her bottom lip, her nervousness causing her sisters grave concern. "Athena?" The smile turned to a frown.

"I just spoke to one of my priestess. You remember Rosie?" Twin heads nodded simultaneously. "She comes from a line of shamanesses, well practiced in the art of healing." She hesitated, and the pause grew so lengthy, that Artemis felt the need to nudge her along.

"The? Is there a point here somewhere, or are we supposed to guess?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Randi went out riding today, and stopped by to see Rosie. And the shamaness noticed a scar on Randi's face."

"I know about that. I saw it the other day."

Athena whirled on Aphrodite then. "Did it occur to you that it might be a problem?"

The blonde goddess looked thoughtful. "I did wonder about it. She flinched when I touched it, and it didn't heal for me." Now she frowned. "What is up with that?" She looked at her sister. "Did you want to leave her scarred?"

Athena sighed. "I had nothing to do with it. I didn't stop it from healing. I didn't even know it was there until Rosie called it to my attention."

Artemis held up her hands. "This is all very interesting, but could we get to the point here? I'm beginning to get a little confused."

"Rosie called on me shortly after Randi left. She noticed the scar, and wondered what had happened to cause it, and it's continued lack of healing. Assuming that I hadn't decided to punish Randi for something, she started doing some research." The goddess heaved a sigh. "We know that this Ben person used some ancient practices to hide Gwen's heart from her. I suspect he's done something to Randi as well. You will remember after Ares lost the warrior to you and the bard, he had his priests brand his warriors to ensure their loyalty to him. I could never prove it, but I am almost certain many of them were coerced by drugging."

Both goddesses sucked in a breath. "How long before we know?"

"I'm thinking it will be extremely slow acting, to hide any trace of itself as a gradual change."

"How do we counteract it?"

Athena simply shook her head. "I don't know that we can. We never had an antidote for it because I could never find anything to work with."

"Then how can you be sure that's what happened?"

"I'm not. I'm just telling you it is a real possibility. We will have to do some investigation, see what we can find out about it. Because if Miranda Valiant has become one of Ares chosen, branded warriors, even against her will, there is no telling what kind of effect this will have on the world."

"Um, why hasn't he tried this before now?"

The goddess of wisdom sighed again. "I don't know. Rosie is doing some research. We need to keep an eye on Randi. I'm thinking Gwen may be the key to all this. This has been the first time Randi has been truly vulnerable."

Dite's head dropped into her hands. "Just when you think things couldn't get any more complicated...."



Gwen stepped into her parent's home with a sense of pleasure. Even all grown up, she found comfort in the sights, sounds and smells of her childhood home. It was mid-afternoon, and she'd decided just to stay overnight, so she wouldn't have to rush.

She went to the kitchen, fixing a pot of coffee before she moved to the den. She collected the email there for her folks, knowing her mother hadn't taken the time to do it in the past few days. While it downloaded, a file with her name on it caught her eye, and she sat down to look at it. Her eyes grew big as she read the most recent one, and she stared at it for a long moment, before going to the beginning of the folder.

*********************************************************** Midas is one of the most fascinating places I've ever worked. The people here are kind, and pretty friendly. I could really learn to like it here. I made a new friend today, in fact. Her name is Randi Valiant, and she's a retired Marine gunnery sergeant. She's very decorated, and quiet. A private individual, but she strikes me as exceedingly complex. I think I'm going to like getting to know her better. More later. The more I talk to her, the more I have to wonder about what makes her tick. Randi is such an interesting person. Extremely intelligent, and knowledgeable on any number of subjects. We have a lot of common interests. I stayed the night with Randi last night. Tommy had a party at his place, and Randi asked me to stay over. We talked until the sun came up about everything, and nothing at all. I don't think I have ever had so much fun. She asked me to help her decorate the spare bedroom at her beach house. Well, I'm not *helping* her decorate, I'm doing it for her! She said, since I'm gonna be the one using it, I should pick out what I like. She seems very lonely... worse than me, I think. I'm glad she's let me be her friend. I think she needs me as much as I need her. I wish I knew what I could do to help her. She's so lost, so alone, and she won't talk to me. She won't talk to anyone. She's closed off, and I don't know how to help her. It hurts to see her like this. I hate this. I finally have a best friend, and now I have to be gone for the next eighteen months. On the plus side, she's promised to keep in touch with me faithfully, and she's never broken a promise to me. But, God, I am going to miss her. I don't know if I laughed or cried more this Festival. It was so wonderful to see everyone, even via vid comm., but damn, it made me miss everybody so much more. Already I am counting the days until I get to go home. Funny, it is the first place I've been I ever looked at as home. Oh, God! That was the best week of my life. I haven't had that much fun in years. But it was so hard to leave again. I will be so glad to settle here. This military tour scares me a little bit. But then I think of Randi, and I know that her service career was tough. Maybe it would have been easier if she'd had some kind of diversion like this. I have to hold on to the thought that this might help someone, even just a little. I've been out in the heat too long. I could have sworn I saw Randi here this afternoon. This is really bad. I miss my best friend so much that I am seeing her in places she can't possibly be. I'm so glad this will be over soon. I want to go home. My heart hurts. She wasn't her to meet me when I got home, and she's been avoiding me since she got back from... wherever she disappears to when she leaves. It's time for a showdown. We can't keep on like this. My God! She sings... and dances! Why has she been hiding this talent? She could be part of the Artists' Guild, if she wanted to be. What an awesome birthday! She sang to me. And the song she chose... so beautiful. One of my very favorites. But she's gone again. Why does she leave like that?? Is she running from something?? Oh, um... God! Randi is so beautiful. I've known that I suppose, but seeing her naked today.... It makes my skin tingle and my mouth dry just to think about it again. I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Best friends don't react that way to each other, do they? But I can't help it. My body is responding to her ways I never thought I'd feel towards anyone. I can't think about this anymore. It's making me crazy. Can you believe her? Thinking I would choose Scott over her! Even if he wasn't engaged to be married, God, I would still choose her. She's my best friend, and the things she makes me feel.... Can I let go and just let myself feel? I don't know. I don't know if it's worth the risk. Because if she doesn't feel the same way.... Maybe I'll just play it by ear. Be still my beating heart!! She sang... she sang for me last night! The urge to just... I wanted to kiss her, so badly. But.... The party was so much fun, and I am exhausted. We are going to an awards ceremony tonight, and she's promised to dance with me. I am so excited. I'm gonna run with this feeling. I can't stand not to any more. ***********************************************************

Gwen sat stunned looking at the screen for a long time. She couldn't fathom why she had sent these snippets of her diary to her mother. She certainly didn't remember having written with this particular slant. She rubbed at her suddenly aching head. She would have to go back into her diaries, and investigate this further. For now, though, she had things to do for her mother, so she got up, and went upstairs.

It didn't take long, really, though it was good dark before she finished. Her mother had been quite thorough and accurate in her lists, and Gwen breathed a sigh of relief when she got done. Who knew two people needed so much stuff to live? Then her thoughts turned briefly to the massive amount of stuff she and Randi had moved from the penthouse apartment to the beach house. On the other hand.... she smiled as she went down to the kitchen.

She scowled at her first sip of coffee. Having sat for most of the afternoon, it was now strong enough to make her hair curl. "Ugh," she groaned, pouring it out, and looking into the fridge for some water. She fixed herself a bite of supper, cleaning up after herself neatly. Then she made a sweep of the entire house, making sure it was set to be closed for a while. Satisfied, she turned off the lights, and headed upstairs to her own room.

The bard paused at the threshold, sensing something unfamiliar in well-known room. It was a scent, a presence that hadn't been there before. Her mind tried to place it, and failed, but she found it comforting. With a shrug, she changed for bed, and crawled beneath the sheets. As she dozed off, her body gave way to her heart's desire, and she traced a familiar pattern on the pillow she cradled.

She slept past dawn, her dreams making her smile. When the green eyes finally opened, the dreams faded, but the feeling of contentment they gave her remained. She stretched, and crawled from the bed, heading for the shower. She was anxious to get back, and see how her folks were faring.

Midday found the bard back at the hotel she and her mother had been staying at. Jill was nowhere to be found, so Gwen left the things she had brought with her, and made her way over to the small medifac where her father was.

Geoff was in the small exercise room, working his upper body under the watchful eye of his therapist. He smiled when Gwen walked through the door. "Hi, little girl."

"Hey, Daddy. How ya doing?"

"Better, I think. I'm glad to be out of the chamber for a while, though this is not the first way I would have chosen to spend my time." He glared in the therapist's direction, who merely shrugged and smiled. "On the other hand, I'm gonna have to work to walk again, so...."

"Do you regret having gone... having done this?"

Gray eyes met and held earnest green ones. "Gwen, if you never believe anything else, believe this. I would do it again in a heartbeat, even knowing what the outcome was going to be. There are some things in this world that are always worth the price, even when the price is high." He paused. "So don't let it concern you any more, little girl. No one on this team would have stayed behind, even knowing how it would end."

The bard thought on that for a moment, then looked her father in the eye. "Sabres are a breed apart, aren't they?"

Geoff chuckled. "Pretty much, little girl. Pretty much. Now," looking to the patiently waiting therapist, "let me get back to work. I'd like to be able to leave here nights and stay with your mother again as soon as possible."

The blonde gave her father a hug, and walked out of the room. She went back to the hotel, at something of a loss. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. She didn't want to sightsee alone, and she had nothing else to do here. She felt as though she were marking time, in limbo, waiting for something momentous to happen.

Finally, she took herself out to the pool area. She thought about writing, but couldn't seem to get motivated. She fell asleep. Jill returned, a fond smile lighting her face at the innocent expression on her daughter's face. She sent up a brief prayer to Artemis to help Gwen remember.

"Hey," lightly shaking the bard's pink shoulder. "You're getting quite a bit of color out here."

Green eyes opened, surprised at how far the sun had dropped. "Um, oh. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Musta been the heat. Hi, Mama." The bard sat up, and rubbed her eyes.

"Hello, daughter. I think we better get you in out of the sun." Jill smiled indulgently. "I know you and Randi stay out in the sun a lot, but you've still got quite a bit of pink going on here."

"Hmm, yeah. Besides," her stomach rumbling loudly, "I'm hungry."

Jill chuckled. "Nice to see some things never change. C'mon."

They were sitting at an early dinner, the bard digging in happily to her pre-dinner salad. If it hadn't been considered bad manners, Jill felt fairly certain that she would be humming happily. "How did your house hunting go?" Gwen asked, as she took a sip of water.

"Quite well, I think, actually. I've found three that have possibilities. I'd like you to come out with me tomorrow, and give me your opinions on them." The blonde nodded her agreement. "How'd the packing go? Did you have any problems?"

"No. Everything was just where you said it would be." Her eyes took on a far off look, and she grew quiet. Jill let it continue, until she realized her daughter was in another world completely.

"Gwen? You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah. Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

The bard dropped her head, studying the plate of food that had just been placed in front of her. "Mama, when I downloaded your mail, I found a file with my name on it." She took a deep breath. "I read it." Now she looked up, and found her mother's eyes trained on her. Jill waited patiently, knowing there was more. It didn't take long for that patience to be rewarded.

"I'm not sure I understand it. I don't know why I'd send things so private to you, and I...." She trailed off. "Some of the things I wrote just don't make sense to me."

The mother took a deep breath. Here then, was her first chance to help her daughter remember. She whispered a prayer for wisdom, and spoke. "Gwen, first... if it makes you feel any better, the things in that file are things you put there. Your father and I have never read them." The bard gave a silent sigh of relief, and Jill had to smile slightly to herself.

"As for what you wrote, I know you started keeping an actually written diary after Randi taught you how to write. Perhaps the answers to your questions are in that part of your journal. It might be a good idea to go back and read them in their entirety." A beat. "It might help you understand."

Gwen nodded her head slowly. "It probably would. I guess I'll have some reading to do when I get home."

Jill smiled. It was only a tiny first step, but it was a step in the right direction.



The following day was spent going from house to house, looking, studying, and discussing possibilities. As it happened, they didn't choose one of the three Jill had mentioned. The house they settled on they found quite by accident.

It was a small cottage, set on a bit of land in a quiet neighborhood only a couple miles from the medical facility where Geoff would be continuing his therapy. It was small enough to make it easy to take care of, but large enough for them to be comfortable. Jill was very pleased by the find, and her enthusiasm carried over into her visit with her husband that evening.

"We'll be comfortable there, Geoff, until you can walk again, and we can go home."

He squeezed her tight in his arms, smiling at her optimism. "That may not happen you know, sweetheart."

"Geoff, you are going to walk your daughter down the aisle, and give her away to the woman she loves. I know that in my heart of hearts."

"You have that much faith then? In them and in me?"

"No doubts, love. This will happen." She turned to face him, and kissed him passionately. "Now, you concentrate on getting well. I'm going to have Gwen help me get the house set up tomorrow, and then I am sending her home. She has some discoveries of her own to make."

The man's eyebrow rose. "You know something." A statement of fact.

"I know something." She grinned at him impishly.

"Would you like to share?" he drawled.

"Gwen found the folder she sent us. Apparently it had some pretty thought provoking items in it. So I want to get her home, so she can do some more reading." He continued to look at her. "I know it's not much, but it's a start, and I have faith. They are meant to be together. Gwen will see that again."

He kissed her again. "I love you, Jill."

She smiled. "I love you, too."



The morning found the two women moving the boxes Gwen had brought back with her into the cottage. "This is gonna be nice, Mother."

"Yeah, I think it is. Even given the circumstances, I think your daddy and I will be happy here. Thank you for your help, dear. I don't think I could have managed without you."

"I was glad to help, Mama. After all, ya'll wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me."

"You know, I don't think that's true. Your father has been headed for a decline for a long time. There have been some mornings... well, I think, in a perverse way, he's glad it happened the way it did."

Gwen looked at her mother askance. "There is a mentality here I am missing completely."

"Hmm, well, I'll admit I don't understand it, either, but there you have it. Now, let's go get your father, so you can go home."

It was quiet when they entered the medifac. Geoff was still in the regen chamber, and Jill excused herself to speak to the therapist. Gwen headed out through the small garden to the tiny stream. She found peace here, and sat soaking it in. She heard the gate click shut and sighed. So much for peace and quiet. She started to get up.

"You don't need to leave, Gwen. I heard you were going home shortly, and thought we could finish our talk before you left, if you'd like."

Dr. Litzer stood casually by the gate, hands in his pockets, waiting for her to grant him permission to approach. She found she appreciated that, the fact that he didn't just force his presence into her solitude. Besides, there was a part of her that wanted to finish their conversation, so she nodded for him to join her.

They sat quietly together for a while, simply listening to the melody of the rippling water. H e finally glanced at her, before looking out at the vista again. "Did you think about what I asked you?"

Her brows knit together in a thoughtful frown. "Yes, I did." She paused. "I spent a good deal of time thinking about it actually."

He nodded, understanding both the spoken and unspoken words. "Did you come to any conclusions?" He didn't ask until it became clear the bard wasn't going to continue. He turned to her again, this time keeping his eyes focused on her expression. He watched, fascinated, as a myriad of expressions crossed her face. It took another little while before she returned his gaze unflinchingly.

"Anything. I would endure anything."

"Then remember this. A Sabre has taken a vow to endure anything, both to protect the ones they love and those who cannot protect themselves. It is a heavy burden to bear, but one we shoulder gladly to keep the peace safe from those who would destroy it. Think about it when you think of the killing. It's not nice, but it is necessary."

He left her then, and she sat a while longer, thinking on his words. Her mind pictured Ben dying again, only this time, she stood in Randi's place. And she realized, with a sudden intake of breath, that she could very easily have killed him if their situations had been reversed. It wasn't a pleasant discovery of self, she noted, but one of truth nonetheless.

The bard swallowed hard, and got up. She had some business to take care of, then it was time to go home.



Chapter IX

"Randi? Randi, I'm home."

The bard was calling out before the door was completely open. She was surprised when only silence met her. She looked carefully around the beach house. Everything was tidy and in its place. There was no sign of occupation at all. "Randi?" knowing it was a futile gesture.

She sat down on the sofa, facing the portrait of the two of them that Sal had taken years prior. There was something between them... she could almost see it. Her mind struggled to put a name to it, and failed. Sighing, she got up, stepping out the French doors, and heading to the boathouse. The utter stillness, the silence was oppressive. The bard paced to the end of the dock, noticing that even Pilot and Peanut seemed to have abandoned her.

"WEN!"

She smiled when the childish voice reached her ears, and she walked back up the dock to meet the approaching pair. Ella held Randall in her arms, and he leaped for Gwen when they got close. It was only the bard's fast reflexes that kept the boy from taking a header into the water.

"This child is gonna be the death of me," Ella half-joked. Her pale face belied the teasing of her words.

"Wen! Wuv miss Wen. Miss Wuv." She kissed the boy's smooth cheek, accepting his rather sloppy affection before she turned to look at the boy's mother.

"Where is Wuv?" smiling at her own use of the warrior's nickname.

Ella looked at her in puzzlement. "Don't you know? She's gone to Reed's place. Ditto is due to have those puppies this weekend. I figured you'd be there, as a matter of fact."

"Damn! I forgot about that, but... that's still a couple days away. Why isn't she here now? It's not but an hour trip by shuttle."


"She took the bike. I guess she felt the need for some space." Ella didn't mention the restless energy that seemed to pulse through the woman when she'd stopped by the day before to say goodbye. "How's your dad, by the way?"

They walked back up to the house, with the child humming contentedly in her arms. Before she could answer Ella's question, Randall demanded her attention.

"Wen! Tory, pwease?"

The bard thought for a moment, before looking the boy in the eyes. "This is the story of a brave knight, who risked everything she had for love."

Ella's eyes grew big, as she listened to the bard spin her first tale since Randi disappearance more than fifteen months ago. It was a simple tale, and nothing like her normal storytelling, but it was a first step. Ella wondered what had happened that brought the muse back to the bard. As she listened further, she realized Gwen was telling a story of Randi's heroism. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what had happened, but she checked herself. The first rule she had learned about the Artist's Guild was to never interrupt the creative process.

Upon further study, she figured out the bard was not even aware of the transition. So she sat quietly until the tale was finished. "Lovely story, Gwen. Is it new?"

"Um, yeah," the bard rubbed her forehead. "I'm not sure... hmm. I...." The soft voice trailed off in confusion.

"So you were gonna tell me about your dad," Ella reminded her kindly. Gwen smiled, grateful for the diversion.

"He's doing better than they expected him to at this point, actually. Mother says his motivation is strong enough to make it possible for him to beat the odds, but she won't tell me what his motivation is." She looked at Ella. "Do you ever feel like you're the only one missing out on the joke that everybody else is getting?" The curly head nodded solemnly, though there was a distinct twinkle in her eye. "That's the way I feel, but I'm not pushing the issue. As long as he gets better, I don't need to know."

"What are their immediate plans?"

"Well, Mother found them a house. They will be staying in the capital city for a while to try a new recovery treatment therapy. As I said, things look very promising for him right now. It's just gonna take a lot of time and effort on his part."

Ella patted Gwen's knee, and reached for her sleeping offspring. "I'm glad things look so good for him. I like your folks. They are real people." She grunted a little as she hefted her son up. "You gonna head out to the ranch?"

The blonde thought, then nodded. "Yeah. In the morning. Ditto would never forgive me if I missed this."

"True. I gotta admit... Randall and I have missed having her around the past couple weeks." She sighed. "I'd better get home. I have a ton of stuff still to do today. Lemme know how things go with the puppies, all right?
And ya'll let us know when you get back. You have no idea how we worry."

"That's sweet, Ella. I'll make sure to keep you posted... about both." She looked at the still sleeping boy. "You want me to give you a ride home?"

"Would you mind? He's getting so big. It won't be long before I can't carry him at all." She smiled sadly.

"Let me get the transport."



Gwen had conveniently forgotten how quiet the beach house was without Randi's presence. She couldn't figure it out, really. It wasn't like the Marine was a loud individual, nor was she particularly messy. In fact, the bard grinned to herself, they had had a discussion once about Randi's meticulous neatness. So it bothered her when she returned from having dropped off Ella and Randall to the sterile quiet of an empty house.

She moped around for a few minutes, not really sure what to do with herself. What is up with you today, Gwen Goldman? What has put you so out of sorts? Finally, she went up to her room, rooting around in her closet until she came up with a good-sized polymer box.

The bard sat on the edge of the bed, fingering the cover for some length of time. She remembered the day she'd asked Tony to craft this for her, wanting a special place to store her journals. She'd never realized how much more personal her thoughts became by actually writing them down, but she was so thankful Randi had taken the time to teach her the almost forgotten art of handwriting.

With a sigh, and not a little trepidation, she lifted the cover, and took in the scent of ink and paper. She smiled now, and lifted out the first book. Gwen frowned after a moment's reading, realizing that she had not started *writing* on paper until after she and Randi had known each other for just over two years. Disgusted with herself, and her faulty, selective memory, she set the box to one side of the bed, and trudged downstairs to the large computer system.

Hours later, she was rubbing her eyes. The holo program had been reading entry after entry, and she was only just a few months into their friendship. The temptation to skip this was almost overwhelming, but something held her back. It was a fascinating to watch, the ever-so-slowly changing dynamic of their relationship. Already she had heard them go from being mere strangers to very good friends. She had smiled a lot, even laughed a couple times. But the most startling difference was the way she was able to view the separations the Sabres had forced upon them time and again.

It broke her heart to realize that every time the warrior had left her, it was to kill... to keep her and the rest of the world safe for another day. The hurt was compounded by the knowledge that Randi shut out everyone when she returned, bearing a burden no one should ever have had to bear. She wondered what other secrets her own words would reveal to her, but her eyes were heavy, and she yawned.

She would continue her research when they got back from the breeding ranch, but for now.... she turned off the holo emitters, and set up the security system. Then she trudged upstairs, and fell asleep, still fully clothed.



Her dreams were a mish mash of confusing images, and she frowned before she slipped into a deeper, dreamless state.

"What happened, Morph?" The blonde tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she stood in Morpheus' realm observing the bard's sleep.

"I'm not sure, Cuz. I think it may just be a sensory overload on her part. I'll keep an eye on her, though."

"I know you will, and I totally appreciate it. I swear, these two are enough to make a goddess pull her hair out sometimes, ya know?"

He just chuckled at her expression.



Gwen slept much longer then she intended to the next morning. She got up, and immediately put in a vid call to Reed. She was surprised when the breeder chuckled at her in greeting.

"Just got up, huh, and haven't looked in the mirror?" Reed chuckled when the bard frowned grumpily at her words. "I'm sorry, Gwen, I shouldn't laugh. But you look so cute, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see that." She went on without giving the blonde a chance to answer. "What can I do for ya?"

"Well, I was wondering if Randi was there yet?"

"No, not yet, but I wasn't expecting ya'll til tomorrow. Looks like the puppies will be right on time."

"Um, okay. I'll probably come in sometime tomorrow morning. She's riding the bike over." She said this with studied casualness.

Reed's eyes nearly popped from her head at this pronouncement. It was quite a long trip to be making on the bike. Randi must have had some issues to work out, and not knowing if or when the bard would be able to make it out.... She tucked the thought away for further study.

"That's fine, Gwen. You're welcome whenever you want to come over."

"Thanks, Reed. I'll see ya'll in the morning, then." The Sabre pilot just chuckled again, and waved goodbye. The bard cut the connection, and wandered over to the mirror, stopping in horror as she stared at the reflection of herself. Then she burst out laughing. "Reed, you are a woman of amazing self-control." With another wry chuckle, she went in to the bathroom, and shut the door behind her.

"Well, since I'm not going until tomorrow, let's see where I left off." She had gotten comfortable after her shower, and was happily ensconced in a pair of running shorts and a sports bra. She found her place in her holo-diary easily, and let it run while she went to fix herself something to eat.



Randi had left for the ranch at daybreak. She craved the peace and solitude traveling on the bike gave her. She had several things she wanted to work through in her mind---among them what she would say to Gwen when they sat down to talk. It would have helped, of course, if she knew what the bard was going to say to her first. But she didn't, so she spent most of the first day's travel running through different scenarios, trying to imagine all the possibilities.

A couple of times, she'd actually had to stop the bike. Some of the things she envisioned literally hurt her very soul, and she was forced to stop and simply breathe until the pain passed. When night came, exhaustion forced her to stop and seek shelter. She grimaced wryly to herself. Never had a Sabre mission been as wearisome as dealing with all this emotionalism was.

The inn she stopped at was quiet and quaint, and she was glad of the chance to rest. She stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed, too tired to eat, and sound asleep before her head hit the pillow. Morpheus took pity on her, and sent her immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The following morning, fueled by a good, hearty breakfast, she mounted the bike, and headed out again. And when Gwen arrived home, she was almost halfway to her destination. Her thoughts on this day were much more pleasant. She passed the hours thinking of different things she could do to court Gwen properly. Her mind reviewed many of the things they had done together when they were still just friends... long before they realized and admitted their love for one another. Aphrodite had accused her of unconsciously courting the bard then. She could use some of those ideas, and make a conscious effort to woo her girl.

She was smiling when she stopped for the evening. There were a lot of things she could do to show Gwen her true feelings without being overbearing or invasive. The only thing gnawing at her in the back of her mind was that little talk they still needed to have. The Marine consciously put it aside, knowing she could do nothing until she and the bard had the privacy to talk.

It occurred to her when she sat down to eat, that she didn't know if Gwen was going to be at Reed's for the birth or not. This wasn't something she wanted to do in their home or with an audience. The Sabre shook her head. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it. Worrying in advance was gonna get her nothing but an ulcer if she wasn't careful.

Her last day on the road was one spent in thoughtful meditation. She was deeply attuned to everything going on around her, but her mind was on another plane of awareness. And just about dusk, she pulled into the long driveway that led to Tiny and Reed's home.

Tiny was almost ready to put supper on the table, and Reed was setting their places. The odd disturbance of air outside drew both their attentions, and together, they stepped out onto the front porch. The big man's face broke into a delighted grin. "Guess Gwen was right," and headed down the steps to meet his friend. The seer hung back a moment longer, scanning Randi's aura before approaching her. Satisfied with what she found, she joined the duo, and welcomed the Marine into their home.

Reed took Randi up to her room, so Tiny could finish up in the kitchen. "You look better, my friend. How are you doing?"

Randi looked at the seer, puzzled. Reed had been unconscious or in regen for most of the time they had been together during the last week. How could she know? The breeder smiled.

"You remember we talked about your aura?" Randi nodded. "Even unconscious, I could see it, feel it. For a while there, I was afraid." The seer reached a hand toward the Marine's face, who drew back reflexively from the pain she knew a touch would cause. Reed stopped. "It's still not right but it is better. You've found a focus, a center, yes?"

"Yes," smiling and looking away bashfully. "This time, she's gonna get the treatment she deserves."

"Then I wish you much happiness and joy, Randi. You are sure to win her heart."

Earnest blue eyes met the seer's fathomless ones. "Do you really think so?"

"My friend, I know it in my heart. You won her last time unknowingly, didn't you? How will she be able to resist a deliberate attempt to win her love?" Randi set her small bag down, and crossed to the bathroom to wash her hands. "Have faith, Randi," Reed continued when the Marine stepped out of the enclosure. "This time, I think you may have help.



Ditto howled in delight when Randi stepped into the kennel after supper. The Marine instantly went to her knees, allowing the shepherd to give her a good face wash. She returned the attention by scratching the dog behind the ears for long minutes. Ditto fairly purred in delight, and rubbed up against her like a cat.

"How's she doing, Reed?"

"Very well. Everything is on schedule, and Phil has been strutting around here like he was king of the mountain for the past two days. I'm thinking these pups should arrive right on time."

"Good. These guys already have places to go."

"Yep, I have your list right here," waiting for Tiny to hand her the vid chip she needed. She slipped it into her comm. link, and watched the list come up. "Hmm, one for the sound technician, Liz." Randi nodded.

"She's always taken care of my girl well, and when her dog passed away recently, it seemed like the right thing to do."

"Okay. Then I have one for Lacey, one for Scott and Tory, and one for Tommy. That covers all the puppies I've counted in my examinations. I think they are gonna be big pups, though... they are sure taking up the room."

Randi looked down at Ditto and had to agree. She gave the dog a good last scratch, then stood up and stretched. "I don't know about ya'll, but I'm beat. Would you consider me rude if I excused myself and went on up to bed?"

"Not at all," Tiny instantly responded. "Truth is, we are still turning in early ourselves. Reed's eyes are still recovering, and rest is the best thing for them at this point."

Randi took Reed's hands in her own, and looked deep into her eyes again, knowing how close the other woman had come to losing them. "Are you sure you're all right? I know how...." She paused when Reed squeezed her hands hard.

"We've already discussed this, Randi. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Even if I lose my physical sight, that doesn't affect my gift. I'm fine. I'll be even better soon. So please let the guilt go, and move on. We have more important things to focus on."

The Marine looked into Reed's newly healed eyes for a long moment, assuring herself of the truth and rightness of the seer's words. Then with a nod of acceptance, and a return squeeze to the breeder's hands, Randi slipped out of the kennel and into the house. She was asleep so quickly, she didn't hear the couple come upstairs a short while later.

At breakfast the following morning, Randi was pouring the waffles while Reed fried up the bacon. "Why is it," the Marine mused aloud, "that in this day and age of technology, we get such simple pleasure from something like cooking?"

Tiny looked up from where he was grinding the coffee. "I think it has something to do with the satisfaction we feel providing for ourselves. I know the food we prepare is always much better than anything we get at those instant places." In fact," putting the pot on to boil, "when we go out, either they cook, or we don't go there."

"I think that is probably one of the reasons Ella's place is so popular." They sat down to a hot meal. "Her stuff is prepared right there fresh. And it's set up that you can actually watch Ricky and the chefs cook."

"Sounds like a fascinating experience. We'll have to come down and try it." The conversation drifted to other places of similar quality they had each had the opportunity to experience. Reed never mentioned to Randi that the bard was expected to arrive that morning. It completely slipped her mind.

Mid-morning found Randi in the kennel, stroking Ditto's soft head. Things were right on schedule, and the pups were due to arrive very shortly. She looked up when the door opened, then looked back down again when a familiar blonde head poked in, and green eyes caught hers. She had been so caught up in the excitement that had started before breakfast was over, that she'd temporarily forgotten that Gwen would probably be showing up today. Time to bite the bullet, Valiant. "Hi, Gwen," she murmured, keeping her focus on the dog beneath her hands.

The bard didn't utter a sound as she crossed from the door to Randi's side. Neither she nor the Marine noticed Ditto's lack of reaction to the bard save an anxious whine. She placed two fingers under the Marine's chin, and urged her face upwards til their eyes met and she smiled. "Hello, Randi. We have a lot to talk about... later." The Sabre focused on what she could see in the soul held in those eyes, and felt some of the burden slip away. Gwen was here, and ready to give her a second opportunity to talk, and for now, that promise was enough. She nodded her agreement, and looked back down at Ditto. "How's she doing?"

"She's doing very well," Reed commented from the doorway. She and Tiny had been hidden in the shadows of the building, watching the reunion with interest. Reed winced at the raw energy, and the off kilter factor it contained. This was almost worse than the strength of their bond.

"She's right on schedule," Tiny said.

"Is it normal for the stud to be present?" Gwen pointed to the corner where Phil stood soundlessly, watching the proceedings with interest. He didn't interfere or get in the way of things, but his silent presence was strongly felt in the room.

"For him, yes. He takes quite the proprietary interest in each batch of puppies he fathers. He has stood sentinel at each birth."

"I think that's adorable," Gwen whispered in Randi's direction. Quite without her knowledge, her small hand grasped the Sabre's larger one, as one by one, they watched the puppies enter the world. Randi smiled to herself in quiet satisfaction.



"Well, two boys and two girls," Reed said sometime later. "Whatcha gonna call them?"

Blue eyes went big and round. "Isn't naming them, um, your job?"

"Nope, not this time."

"I don't suppose Dog One, Two, Three, and Four would be acceptable," Randi muttered. The three adult humans around her burst into laughter.

"Randi!" the bard admonished. "Um... I know. How about Mim and Rox for the females, and Carbon and Copy for the males?"

Reed chuckled, and her eyes lit up in delighted laughter. "Oh that is priceless," understanding the hidden joke. "Absolutely perfect. This little guy," holding up the solid black runt, "will naturally be Carbon."

"Naturally," Randi replied drolly.

The remainder of the day was spent with Ditto and her babies. Phil remained in the room, circling occasionally, making sure everything was fine. It was a peaceful day, right up until it was time to go to bed. When it came time for bed though, things got a little awkward.

"Um, Reed, which room should I take?" They had been too busy to worry about room arrangements before, and now Gwen wasn't sure where she was supposed to be.

"Randi's right here," the seer answered without thinking.

"Um, yeah, but where do you want me to sleep?" Gwen was a little confused over Reed's answer, but figured the stress of the day had made her misunderstand the bard's question.

"Oh!" Damn, Reed! Pay attention here please! "Sorry. You can take the adjoining room."

"Thanks." Gwen reached around and gave her friend a hug. "Thanks for letting us come and witness a miracle." She opened the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Gwen." Reed waited until the door was closed before she muttered. "If we're very lucky, we will see another miracle again very soon."



"You sure you have to go home so soon?" Tiny asked his Sabre comrade early the next day. "Seems like a hell of a long way to come to stay over for just two nights."

"Yeah, but I will have been gone for the better part of a month all told by the time I get home again. I've got work I need to do. Next time I won't bring the bike. Or better yet... next time, you come see me."

"You've got yourself a deal. Besides, we have a date to come out that way already, remember?"

"I remember. And no one is looking forward to it more than I am."

"I hear you, my friend. Safe journey."

"Thanks, Tiny." She turned to Gwen, who had just stepped off the front porch. "You sure you wanna go home this way? Shuttle would be faster and more comfortable." She really wanted the bard with her, but was trying to take the best care of her that she could. Gwen read the longing in her eyes, though, very easily.

"Would you rather I go that way?"

"No, not at all," hastening to reassure the blonde. "I was merely thinking of your comfort."

"I have always been most comfortable wherever you are, so if you don't mind, I would like to go home with you."

"I would like that best too," said shyly.

"Well, then," taking up her helmet, and dropping in her bag. "What are we waiting for? The road awaits." And with a final round of hugs and a wave, they were off.



The day was beautiful, and Randi sighed in contentment as they eased down the road. In all honesty, they were taking it a little slower than she had coming out. It felt so wonderful to have Gwen's arms wrapped around her, even loosely, and she had a good feeling about their coming talk. So they moseyed through the countryside, enjoying the breeze that their riding stirred.

Lunch was a brief stop under some shade trees, sharing the food Reed had so thoughtfully provided them with before they'd left. They didn't talk much, simply enjoying the peace of the day and the happiness of being together again. Gwen found it odd how much contentment she felt just being with Randi, despite everything. There was a place in her that felt complete. Part of her wanted to have their talk now, for better or worse. Another part of her needed to get back to her diaries to do some more reading. Still a third part wanted to curl up in Randi's arms and just be. It was this part that was causing her so much confusion. So lunch passed quietly, with each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Dusk found them pulling into a little town that seemed unusually busy for its size. And when they went looking for a place to sleep, they began to see the problem. Randi shook her head grimly as she came out of the town's second and only other hotel establishment.

"No luck?" the bard questioned sympathetically. The first place they'd stopped had been full up. There was some sort of reunion going on, and the proprietress wasn't too hopeful about them finding anything. But she gamely gave them directions and wished them good fortune.

"Well, sorta." The warrior was kicking herself for stopping here, but it hadn't been a problem three days ago. The tiny town had been almost deserted, it had been so quiet. Now, however.... "We have a room, but...." She scratched the back of her neck. "We only have *A* room. There was only one room left." She breathed. "I'm sorry, Gwen. The town wasn't like this three days ago, honest. I didn't realized there was gonna be an Amazon family reunion here."

Gwen, stepped off the bike, and lifted up her small duffle. "Randi, it's okay. We share living space at home." She paused in though a moment. "I was a little surprised at Reed last night, but maybe it was a natural assumption. I mean, no one knows we have separate beds in separate rooms, I guess huh? It's not like it's anyone's business."

Randi couldn't find a comment to make right then to save her life, so she simply grabbed her bag, and headed for the lift. The room was nice enough, though one look made the Marine put her head in her hands and close her eyes. She had to wonder if the gods were conspiring for her or against her.

Gwen eased by her, stepping into the room, and looking around with approval. "This is nice," she nodded. "Not bad." She set her stuff down on the small table, and turned to face the warrior. "Shall we go get something to eat?"

The Marine entered the room and shut the door behind her. "Do you trust me?"

"Huh?" Gwen wondered what that had to do with getting dinner.

"Do you trust me?"

Green eyes gazed into startlingly blue. "I always have."

"Then we can go get dinner. Just stay with me, please, and go along with what I say?"

"All right."

It only took them a few minutes to clean up, and they stepped back out into the melee. It didn't take long for them to find a place to sit and order some food, and they sat back to people watch. What Randi had said earlier finally sunk into Gwen's brain. "Amazon family reunion?"

"Yep. They get different parts of the nation together during the course of the year. I think their big reunion is in the fall... a couple months from now."

Their food arrived, and the next few minutes were filled with silence as they each concentrated on the fare in front of them. As they began to fill up, they noticed more and more women coming out and headed toward a big campfire area to their left. Gwen watched intrigued as several musicians took their places and began warming up. Another group of what looked to be dancers was off apart from the crowd, doing some stretching exercises. The bard watched the activity quietly, then looked to her companion. "Would you mind... can we go watch for a little while?"

Randi sighed inwardly. She had been afraid of this, but it was what the bard wanted so.... "Okay, just follow my lead, and you'll be fine." She took Gwen's hand, pleased when the blonde grasped her own firmly in return. They found a place to one side beneath a tree that offered them a decent view of all the activities, yet kept them far enough away so that they could speak without yelling. Rand sat, stopping the bard when Gwen made a move to sit beside her. "Sit here," patting the ground between her legs.

Gwen looked at her dubiously, but complied, knowing there was a legitimate reason. The tingles that traveled up and down her spine caused by the strong arms now wrapped around her middle made her look back at the Marine with a question in her eyes. It wasn't that she minded... on the contrary, it was quite the pleasant sensation. But there were still so many holes, things she didn't remember. And there was still the issue of Ben's execution between them yet.

"I'm sorry, Gwen. I don't mean to take liberties, but look around." Green eyes traveled the area and noticed a pattern. She met the patiently waiting blue eyes. "Couples sit this way. It is so the other women know to leave each partner of the pair alone. Only the single women sit side by side. It is their way of stating their availability. Unless you'd rather be single." Arms pulled back from the bard's waist. Gwen merely reached back, and pulled the hands to her front again, leaning back slightly into the body behind her. Randi sighed in relief. The first hurdle had been crossed.

The rhythm of the music was sensual, hypnotic. They watched the dancers in contented silence for a while, before Gwen decided to open up the conversation. "Randi, how do you feel about killing?"

The Sabre sucked in a breath. Well, nothing like getting right to the heart of the matter. "Can we walk? I'd like to go somewhere with a little more privacy."

Gwen looked around, noticing more and more women were getting up to join the dancers. She felt a fleeting wish pass through her, and then stood, dusting off her pants. She smiled, and reached a hand down to her companion. Randi reached up hesitantly and took it, laughing a little when the bard neatly pulled her to her feet.

"Been working out some there, hmm?"

Gwen blushed. "Guess those staff workouts have helped more then I realized."

Randi smiled gently. "Guess so. C'mon," holding out her hand. "Let's get out of here."

They hadn't moved more than two steps, when they were stopped by a huge hulk of a woman. "No one leaves without dancing first."

"Excuse me?"

The big woman looked at her patiently. "You are a card carrying Amazon, right?" She waited for Randi's nod. "Then you know that everyone is committed to at least one dance to give thanks to Artemis for her protection of our Nation." The Marine's head dropped. She didn't need this right now... they didn't need it. She looked up when the small hand still clasped in hers squeezed gently.

"C'mon, Randi. We can do this, and then we'll go talk. We don't want to offend Artemis now, do we?" Green eyes twinkled, and the Sabre had to smile.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"No." A pause. "Honestly, I wanted to try it, but I thought we should talk first."

"See, you've got a good woman here. Now go give thanks, and enjoy." The large woman slipped back to her perimeter post before Randi could make a reply. Not that she had a clue of what kind of response she could make. She felt a tugging on her hand.

"C'mon, gunny."

The dance was slow and sensual, and the press of bodies kept them close together. Gwen wrapped her arms around Randi's waist, laying her ear on the Marine's strong heartbeat. Randi closed her eyes in tortured enjoyment... praying for the moment to be over, and hoping it would never end. The music wound down, and she pulled back from the bard slightly, smiling when Gwen grinned up at her.

"That was nice. Can we do it again?"

"Let's talk. We'll see how you feel then."

The Sabre reached her hand out, and Gwen took it without hesitation. And they moved off into the cool darkness of the night.



Chapter X

There was a rise just outside the town proper, and Randi led them up onto it. It gave a clear view of the activities, without making one a part of them. The Marine seated Gwen on the smooth, conveniently placed rock, before turning her back and looking down at the activity below. The bard sat silently, letting Randi choose her time and manner to speak.

"All my growing up years, I was just a normal kid, and Tommy was my best friend. I excelled in my studies, and I had quite a few outside interests. When it was time to do my service, I chose the Corps. I didn't want to do the Navy thing... the thought of all that time at sea...." She shuddered. "Anyway, I ended up being put into the
Sabre program, and I was good at it. Hell, I was better than good... I was the best. And for a while, it was enough. The rightness of the cause, the justice in it."

She sighed, and her shoulders slumped. "But it wore on me... it wears on me still. The killing, it eats at your soul, sapping your humanity drop by precious drop. But the alternative... to let the peace, our very way of life be ruined... to see those you love and care about be destroyed. I couldn't do that either. So I accepted the responsibility Fate handed me."

"So, no Gwen, I don't like the killing. I don't like the fact that I am exceptionally good at it either. But it is very much a part of who I am. I would not hesitate to kill to protect you."

It was silent again for a very long time. Randi kept her face turned away from the bard, so Gwen could not gauge the other woman's feelings on anything except her words, and the flatness of her tone of voice. She came to a decision, finally, and slid off the rock. The bard circled around to stand in front of Randi, coming to rest between her and the view of the town below. She waited until blue eyes met her own, and drew in a quick breath at the pain and tears she found lingering there.

She reached down, and grasped the clenched hands, drawing them to her and pulling gently forward, leading the warrior to the rock. She eased the taller woman down, then lifted a hand and softly wiped at the tear that had rolled down a chiseled cheek. The bard reached down for the hand she had dropped. Now it was her turn to look down, and examine the ground beneath her feet. When she started to speak, Randi had to strain to hear the whispered voice.

"When you... killed... him... I felt so many things. Fear, anger, confusion, disbelief... I was overwhelmed. The stress was more than my mind could handle apparently, because Mama said I went into shock." She looked up to catch the dark head nod, even though Randi's eyes appeared to be closed. It was hard to tell with the face turned away from her. "Mama and I had an interesting talk when I woke up, and she asked me something that got me to thinking... something that made me start asking questions of my own."

The silence dragged on for what seemed like ever, before the Marine cleared her throat and asked, "What did she say to you?"

Gwen smiled slightly. "She asked me why, in the state of shock that I was in, caused by my reaction to what had happened... what you had done... why you were the only person I would let near me. I told her it was a matter of trust. She reminded me then that trust was unconditional, and if I trusted you, I needed to have faith, not to judge, but to talk it out with you."

She paused and swallowed, composing her thoughts. "While you were sleeping, I went and talked to Daddy, and he made me think a little more, and realize that there was a lot I didn't understand. And when you left, I decided to see if I could understand a little bit more. So I talked to Tiny, and Daddy, and Dr. Litzer. And they all made the same point you did... about it not being something they would have chosen, but a duty they were honored to perform."

She sighed, and looked at Randi, reaching a hand up and turning the warrior's face toward her. "Dr. Litzer, though... he brought things home to me in a very real, very honest way. He put me in your place, and asked me what I would have done." Blue eyes dropped. Gwen knelt until she was looking up at Randi, who closed her eyes at the unexpected scrutiny.

"Randi, look at me." Finger's touched the Marine's chin softly, careful to stay away from the cut. "Randi, please." Sorrowful blue met vibrant green. "I learned something about myself, Randi. Put in your place, I would most certainly have done what you did. I would kill to protect you as well." Tears welled in two sets of eyes. "Not something I ever expected to learn about myself, but it is the truth, nonetheless." A pause. "Does it change the way I view myself, you, Daddy and Tiny and Reed? Yes, it can't help but. Does it change the way I feel? Only in that I have grown to respect you, your inner strength so much more. I don't know how you have managed to live with this weight for as long as you have. You are still my best friend, and I still love and trust you."

"I still have some problems with it. I probably will for a while. It has changed the way I look at a lot of things. However, I want you to know I would like to share the burden, if you'll let me. We can get through this together."

For a very long moment, the stillness was palpable. Then without a word, Randi reached down, and pulled Gwen into her arms, hanging on for dear life. The bard returned the embrace glad she'd made the right choice for both of them.

They stayed wrapped up together like this for a while, until finally the bard pulled slightly away. She tipped her head back to look the Marine in the eye. "C'mon, gunny. I'm exhausted, and I hear a nice, big, comfortable bed calling my name." Without a word, Randi held out her hand, and Gwen grasped it, leading the way back down the slope and into town.

The Sabre instinctively took the lead as they approached the hotel. She keyed in the code and opened the door, keeping the bard shielded as a matter of course. Gwen smiled in reaction. She always does that... always looks out for me. It only took a moment for these thoughts to pass through her mind, and by that time, they were in the room with the door closed.

Randi looked around, embarrassed. Though they had worked out a major problem, she didn't want to assume anything. Gwen still regarded her as only a friend, and her comments earlier made the Sabre realize that a lot had changed when Ben had stolen her lover's memories. So she was caught by surprise when the bard kept hold of her hand and led her to the bed.

"C'mon, gunny. It's been a long day, and I'm tired."

"I'll make a pallet on the couch, Gwen...."

The bard eyed the tiny loveseat dubiously. "I don't think so. The bed is big, and we're both adults. It's not like we haven't shared before."

Randi nodded. "As long as you're comfortable." The bard grabbed her bag and moved to the bathroom area.

"I won't be but a minute."

Then Marine turned to her own bag, and pulled out her pajamas. She was changed, had brushed her hair and teeth, and was comfortably ensconced on one side of the big bed before Gwen emerged from the bathroom. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so long. Do you....?" motioning toward the toilet area. When Randi shook her head, she turned off the light, pausing to let her eyes adjust before moving to the bed. "Geez, I didn't expect it to be so dark." The Sabre chuckled silently. "Hush, you," reaching over and giving the other woman a light smack on the ribs.

They were quiet for a time after that, falling into a pleasantly lethargic haze. They listened to the muted sounds of the ongoing party outside. "That was interesting," the bard murmured.

"What was?" Randi asked. She'd been almost asleep when Gwen spoke, and she had no clue what the blonde was referring to now.

"That Amazon party. I'd like to do that again sometime. And what's a card carrying Amazon, anyway?"

Randi rolled over onto her side. "Yes, it was, yes, we can, and we'll talk about it later."

Gwen yawned, and nodded. "'K. Night, Randi." The bard tucked a hand under her cheek, and promptly fell asleep. The Marine lay there looking at her in the darkness for a few minutes before she replied.

"Good night, love."



Gwen was the first to awaken the next morning. She had vague recollections of this happening before but never in quite this position. They had started out innocently enough, on opposite sides of the bed. As the night wore on, however, the space between them diminished. From facing one another, they had migrated to end up wrapped in each other's arms. So when Gwen opened her eyes, her head was pillowed on Randi's shoulder, with an arm thrown across the warrior's middle. She smiled wistfully at how natural it felt to be cradled by those strong arms, then sighed.

The bard got up, surprised at how cold it was out of that embrace. She pushed her pillow into Randi's arms, which had started searching for her the moment she moved. She smiled again as the Marine wrapped herself around it, and fell back into a deeper sleep. Then she moved off to take a shower.



"Thanks, Morph. I appreciate all the help."

"No prob, cuz. You've always been good to me. I'm glad to repay a favor or two."



The two women got back on the road shortly after breakfast. The whole town was quiet, having spent a majority of the night partying. Only a very few people were out and about in the early morning sunshine.

"Wow, this place is a lot different during the day, huh?"

"No, this is how it is most of the time. This is how it was when I came through the other night. It's the family reunion thing that changes it, and then the change is temporary. Two or three days of celebration, and then the place goes back to normal."

They were making good time, until suddenly, shortly after lunch, it started to rain. Randi slowed down, but kept going, hoping to make the distance she needed to get them home the following day. When she felt the bard start to shiver, however, she began to look for a place to stop.

The inn she found was nice, and Randi got them two rooms. The Marine really didn't want to, but she respected Gwen's need for a bit of space. The bard herself wasn't quite sure what to make of it. She was at once both somewhat relieved, and oddly disappointed, and that just put her in a state of confusion she wasn't really comfortable with. Goldman, just suck it up. What the hell is up with you, anyway? She moved into the bathroom, settling into the very warm water for a nice long soak.

Because they had stopped early, it put them behind schedule in getting home. It was just coming on noon of the fourth day when they crossed onto the island. Randi's behavior was baffling Gwen. She was polite, but distant, catering to the bard's every need, but not forcing anything upon her. The storyteller decided to call the warrior on it shortly.

For now, though, a rustling noise from the tree line made them both look in that direction. It didn't take a moment before Randall toddled out, headed toward them as fast as he could manage. He squealed in delight on spotting them.

"Wuv! Wen!"

The bard knelt down and opened her arms, and he rushed headlong into them. "Wen! Tory... pwease?"

Gwen smiled and ruffled the child's hair. She picked him up, and walked to the patio table, settling down and talking quietly to him. Ella had followed her offspring more slowly, and she went to the shed where the Marine was carefully stowing the motorcycle.

"Good to see ya'll back," she welcomed. Tommy had cautioned her that something wasn't right, and Randi had in fact called the night before and given them a brief synopsis of what had happened. So she was trying to keep from intruding, knowing so many subjects were taboo now, but still wanting to get things back to as normal as possible. "We expected ya'll in last night."

"Yeah, the weather delayed us. We got caught in an awful shower coming home."

"Um, we saw that. I figured that was the hold-up. How's Ditto?"

"Fine. She gave birth to four beautiful puppies, and they all have homes already. There is one, all black with yellow eyes... Reed swears he is a throwback to some ancient wolf forefather." She smiled when Ella's brows shot up into her hairline. "Yeah, I know, but she is convinced. Says she can trace the lineage." She paused. "He does look a little like a wolf, come to think of it." The Marine laughed lightly. "They're a cute little bunch, though."

Randi picked up both her and Gwen's bags, and headed out toward the house. The bard and Randall were playing chase on the shoreline. The boy stopped, bending over slightly, with his hands on his knees. He pointed, and Gwen ambled over to take a closer look.

"Sand spider," she answered, as the other two women approached. "Let's leave him alone and play over here."

"Wuv!" The child lost interest in his surroundings as his other playmate came into view again. He ran to her, latching onto her legs, intent on pulling himself up. She lifted him up, blowing raspberries on his belly, which made him scream with laughter. Ella watched Gwen watching them, and realized the bond between the two women was altered, reverted back to what it had been in the time previous to Randi's death. She found herself wondering what had happened in the days they had been gone that could have changed the dynamic between them so drastically.

They spent a nice afternoon together, watching the boy play at the edge of the water. Several times he walked back to one or the other of them, bringing an offering of sand or shells. Talk among them was light and varied, and they were surprised to note the sun was setting as they heard Tommy's transport stop at the front.

Randall ran to him as the man came around the corner. "Pa!" waiting to be hoisted up and flown like a shuttle. Tommy gamely complied, even though the child was very wet and sandy. He brought the boy in for a landing, and leaned into his wife for a kiss.

"Hello, ladies. Nice to see you back with us again. How was your trip? And how is Ditto?"

He took a seat, and Randall was quite content to sit on his lap quietly and rest for a few minutes. Gwen answered his questions, and gave him an update on her father.

"Well, I hope he gets better pretty quick. He and I have a project to finish. But for now," he continued before they could ask, "I'd like to take the three special women in my life out to dinner. How 'bout it?"

"That's fine with me," Ella answered. "As long as we get to go home and clean up first. Somebody here needs a serious bath."

"Randi?" the man questioned, expecting her to take the lead.

She glanced to the bard. "It's up to Gwen. It's fine with me, though."

Gwen looked hard at the warrior, trying to figure out what was going on with her. Randi returned the stare with an impassive one of her own. The blonde gave up trying to fathom the thoughts running behind the mask, determined to ferret them out at the earliest opportunity. She faced Tommy squarely and nodded. "Thanks, T. We'd love to."

"Wonderful! We'll be back in an hour to pick you up."

Randi walked the trio around to the front of the house. Ella had refused to take the child through the house, citing his disheveled appearance. Gwen said her goodbyes, cleaned up the deck area, and went inside. She stood waiting for the Marine to enter from the front, facing the door with her arms crossed on her chest. Randi's face showed her surprise when she saw the bard standing there.

"Gwen, aren't you gonna get ready? I thought you wanted to do this."

"Randi, we need to talk."

"Um, okay," not sure what had happened to bring this about. "But can we do it later? We need to get ready."

"That depends."

"On?"

"Do you really wanna do this?" A confused frown crossed the Sabre's features. "I'm not sure what is going on with you, with us, Randi, but I'm getting all kinds of mixed signals from you. Now, do you want to do this?"

"Yes, I just didn't want you to fell pressured or obligated."

"Pres.... Obli.... You're right... we do need longer than we have right now to talk this out." She poked a finger into the warrior's firm chest. "But we are gonna talk about this. Soon."

"Agreed," the warrior said, wondering what kind of mess she'd just managed to land in so firmly with both feet.



Dinner passed quickly and pleasantly between the four friends. Randall's antics kept them in stitches, and it was fairly easy to avoid any uncomfortable subjects. It was very late when the Steeles dropped them at the front door.

"That was nice. We don't do that nearly often enough."

"I know." The bard yawned. "I really wanted to stay up and talk to you tonight, but I'm beat. And since we need to go to work tomorrow... can we talk later?"

"Yeah," the warrior answered, grateful for the reprieve. "I'm always around, and you know where I live," she lightly joked.

"Smart ass!" Gwen replied, lightly smacking her in the stomach. "I'm headed up to bed. See ya in the morning. Night, Randi."

The Marine waved a hand in response, and watched the bard walk up the stairs to her room. "Good night, love," she whispered when the door closed behind her.



For the third night in a row, the bard tossed and turned in the big, empty bed. She fluffed the pillows... twice. Got up and got a drink of water. Pushed all the cover off, then pulled them all up over her head. Nothing helped. Even though she was exhausted, sleep eluded her.

Gently, she traced her fingers over the pillow in a now well-known pattern. She wracked her brain, trying desperately to figure out what was so familiar about the outline. Her hand continued to move, quite without her conscious permission, until the hypnotic rhythm lulled her to sleep just before dawn.

Gwen was quite grumpy when the alarm went of a couple hours later, but she grudgingly got out of bed and got on with her mornings ablutions. She tromped down the stairs, and Randi looked up wide-eyed at her when she caught the expression on the bard's face.

"Good morning, Gwen," she said quietly. "Problem?"

"Yes," came the short answer. "I don't know what is going on with you, but I want it to stop. I want things to go back to what they were before. I know something happened while I was with... Ben. There are things I can't remember... other things that don't make sense right now. But I'm gonna figure them out. In the meantime, I want my best friend back. Stop treating me like... like... whatever it is you're treating me like! I don't like it!" She rubbed a hand across her forehead. "And good morning, by the way, although it really isn't." She sighed. "I have got the worst headache."

"Turn around."

Gwen complied with the low spoken command, and immediately felt a sense of relief as the large hands dug firmly into the knots in her neck and shoulders. "Ooooh," she moaned, "you have absolutely no idea how wonderful that feels. I haven't slept the last three nights, and I think it's starting to get to me. Sorry about the outburst, by the way. I wanted to talk about it, but I didn't want to come off sounding like a harpy."

Randi smiled. "I'm glad you said something. I wasn't sure what was going on with you, and I wanted to give you plenty of space to figure it out. I know he messed with your mind somehow. He told me as much."

"Yeah, and I'm gonna figure everything out. I'd just prefer we be normal. I need you close, not far away."

Blue eyes widened at the comment. "Good, because I've missed having my best friend around." A beat. "Now, why aren't you sleeping?"

"I dunno, but it is starting to get to me in a very big way. C'mon, we need to get to work. Maybe we can try to figure it out this afternoon."

The warrior nodded her agreement.



Things had stacked up for both of them while they'd been gone, though Gwen's class had continued on in her absence. The pile of things Randi had waiting for her, however, caused her to call down to the stable and have Excalibur saddled for her. "If I need to tour the place, I might as well enjoy it."

The stallion was happy to see her, mostly, and after a nip in scolding of her prolonged absence, was patient to stand by while the woman mounted. The ride was peaceful, and Randi was happy to see that things had been maintained so well while she'd been gone. It was coming on to lunchtime, and she decided to take the bard at her word. She angled the horse's steps in the direction of the classroom, arriving just as mess call was announced. She watched as the classroom of eager beginners emptied out, leaving the teacher alone in the doorway.

"Hello there, stranger." The blondes shaded her eyes against the bright sunlight. "What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"

"I was out taking a look at things, and thought I'd mosey by, and see if you wanted a lift over to the mess hall." She grinned rakishly, and waggled her eyebrows. The blonde laughed, stepping out to meet her.

"Sure," raising her arm to be pulled up behind the warrior. She grinned at the comfortable familiarity the sensation gave her, then held on for dear life when Randi sent the stallion into a gallop.

It was quite a ride. The Sabre took the long, circular route to get back to the barn, and they'd spent the few minutes wiping down the horse catching their own breaths. "That was fun," Gwen commented with a laugh. "We should do that more often."

"Um... I don't know that he'd be quite as anxious to run so hard if we did that everyday." The animal seemingly took affront to the comment, and stamped his hoof in protest. "Then again," Randi chuckled, "I could be entirely wrong about that." She set down the brush, and reached a hand toward Gwen. "C'mon. I'm starving, and I smelled roast beef cooking this morning."

"Oh yum! My favorite." She took the larger hand, and started pulling the tall woman with her. "Let's go."



Their table was empty, and Tommy smiled when they walked in hand in hand. Maybe things are getting back to normal between them. Their interaction had been off at dinner the other evening, and he now observed them idly while he recalled an unrelated conversation he and Ella had had after they'd gotten home.




*********************************************************
"I don't know what to make of it, hon." They had put Randall to bed, and were sitting on the patio enjoying the peace of a nightcap together. The night was warm, and the sky full of stars. The ocean breeze was salty, and they were glad of the opportunity for a bit of quiet time together.
"What to make of what, babe?" Tommy had been letting his mind wander, and had no actual clue what his wife was referring to.
"Gwen and Randi. I mean, something has obviously changed between them. It's like it was before... before Randi came home." He nodded, but didn't speak. "But, even stranger... Gwen has started telling stories again." Now his head whipped in her direction.
"Excuse me? Come again, please?"
It was her turn to nod solemnly. "It's true. Not much, not like it was before, but I've heard her tell two very simple stories in the past few days. I'm curious to know what happened. It was peculiar to see."
"Hmm, yeah, I guess it would be. Well, we'll keep an eye on them. We seem to have gotten pretty good at that over the years."
"Yeah," she smiled, "we have. But for right now," taking his glass from his hand and standing, "I want to concentrate on *us*." She reached her hand down and he took it in his own, rising and following her inside.
*********************************************************



He came back to the present with a start, and resumed his covert observation of the two women. Their interaction was much as it had been before they became committed lovers, though he sensed a new element in their relationship. It's almost as if... as if Randi is making a conscious effort to court her bard this time. He wasn't sure what exactly gave him that impression, but he'd be willing to bet the company on it. He smiled. He'd never known Randi to decide she wanted something without getting it. He sat back, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and crossed his arms over his chest. This is gonna be sweet to watch.



"Now I wonder what he is up to?" Randi posed the question to her companion as they ate. She'd caught the expression on Tommy's face. It made her senses tingle.

"Who? The boss? Why does he have to be up to something?"

"He has the oddest look on his face. That usually means he's up to something."

"Oh, I dunno... I've been accused having some pretty funny faces when I've been working on a story myself." She smiled impishly at the warrior, crinkling up her nose adorably. It was all Randi could do not to just lean over and....

"I dunno," she responded in kind. "I think you're just too cute." She chuckled at the blush that crept up the bard's face. "Maybe you will tell me a story later?"

"I'd like that. Seems like it's been a long time since I told a story." She rubbed her head. "But then...." she trailed off and rubbed the back of her neck with one hand. Randi covered the other one, and squeezed it gently in concern.

"Gwen?"

"I'm sorry," the bard replied. "So much of my memory seems... almost hazy. It hurts to think about it."

"I'll tell ya what.... You stop thinking in that direction for a while, and when we get home, I'll give you a rubdown. How's that sound?"

"Like heaven. I think I'll keep ya."

"Oh you do, huh?" with a saucily raised brow. That had sounded a lot like her lover, and not just her best friend.

"Yep. Besides, that may help me get some sleep tonight. Now c'mon... we've both got work to finish, and I've got reading to do at home."

Randi's second eyebrow joined the first, wondering what on earth was so pressing at home. Then she shrugged mentally. No doubt Gwen would share when she was ready. The Marine rose, picking up their trays and extending her elbow. "Shall we walk?"

The blonde linked her arm through Randi's. "Yes, let's."



It wasn't afternoon, but early evening before the Marine finally left for home. Randi had work she needed to finish, so Gwen took the transport home when her class was over in the early part of the afternoon. She had reached the end of her first tenure with Midas, and finally found the answer to one question that had been plaguing her.

********************************************************* I am going to send duplicates of these files and all the ones following to Mother for safekeeping. I will feel better about having them in one central location. I know the odds of anything happening to them are slim, but I'd rather be sure. *********************************************************

Well, that helps explain a thing or two, Gwen sighed to herself. I must have kept the habit, right up until.... She turned her mind away from unpleasant thoughts, and dove back into her diaries with determination.

When Randi called, indicating her soon-to-be-readiness to be picked up, Gwen was surprised to realize that the entire afternoon had passed with her reading. Even stranger were the relative lack of entries during the time she had been away from Randi. Then it occurred to her that she had been given her first written journal during that time, and realized it was time to pull the diaries from the box, and begin reading in them. Not right now though. First, she needed to pick up Randi. The Marine owed her a serious back massage.



"Go soak for a little while," the Sabre instructed Gwen when they re-entered the house. It was full dark, and they had the house open to catch the lovely breeze that was now blowing. The scent of the ocean was nice, and the sounds were soothing. "I'll be up in about half an hour."

"Okay," the bard answered, already halfway up the stairs. She was glad. Something had been bugging her since she'd made the discovery about those files, and she needed to see if she could find a quick answer. She set the temperature and fill level on the tub, and walked back into the bedroom. She pulled out the books, and looked through their dates, noting that they were in reverse order.

"Figures," she muttered to herself, then opened the one on the bottom of the stack. She flipped through the pages quickly, skimming the entries til she found what she was looking for. "Ah ha!"

About midway through the first journal, she had made a note to herself. It was even highlighted, so she couldn't miss it.

********************************************************* I find I get great joy from actually writing down my thoughts and feelings, and re- recording them for the file just isn't the same. I will record the highlights and send them to Mother. The rest of it will stay here, in written form. With the highlights, I should be able to fill in the blanks if I ever lose these. But I feel comfortable with this. It seems a natural thing to me. **********************************************************

Gwen reflected on that summation for a bit, before she made a move for the bathroom. It was true, she understood, on a multitude of levels. The she stripped and stepped into the tub, sighing in blissful contentment as the warm water enfolded her. She closed her eyes.



A full thirty minutes passed before she heard a light knocking on the outer door. "Shit!" she muttered, then spoke in a louder voice. "C'mon in, Randi. It's open. I won't be but a minute." Quickly she bathed and rinsed, stepping out of the tub, and wrapping herself in a big fluffy towel.

Randi had her back to the bathroom door when the bard stepped out. She turned to face Gwen, then whipped back around to give the blonde a little privacy to dress.

"'K, Randi. I'm ready," Gwen mumbled from the bed.

The sight before her made blue eyes widen, and the Marine's heartbeat to race. Randi swallowed hard, remembering the many times in the weeks she had been back that she'd been allowed to take the vision before her to passionate, carnal heights. And the many times the pleasure had been returned to her. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to assume a clinical attitude. Even then, she had to admire the strength of the muscular back, all the way down to the dimples just above the bard's thin waist and shapely behind. The Sabre drew a deep breath, and oiled her hands.



Chapter XI

"So, how did you spend your afternoon?" the warrior asked as she started gently probing Gwen's tight back.

"I was reading." She didn't add anything else, and Randi was about to question her further, when something caught her attention. She moved her hands over different key spots across the landscape of muscle and skin, touching lightly, noting the oddity of several key pressure point locations. She cursed to herself. That son of a bitch!

"Randi? What are you doing? That tickles."

The Marine pulled her hands away and wiped them on the towel she'd brought with her. The bard started to roll over to face Randi, before realizing she had nothing on covering herself, save the towel that was pushed down around her hips. Instead, she rose a little and turned her head toward the warrior.

"Randi?" noticing the grimness around her mouth. "Is there a problem?"

Randi's head dropped, and she contemplated the comforter's intriguing pattern for a long moment before she lifted her head, and let blue eyes meet green. "Yeah, Gwen, there is." She sighed, and scratched the back of her neck. "Ben did something to you while you were gone." She got up to pace. "It's what is causing your headaches, and most likely, your memory problem."

"Well, if you found the problem, you can fix it, right?"

The absolute faith that question conveyed made Randi smile just the slightest little bit. "I think so, but it's gonna take a bit of time."

Gwen took advantage of the fact that Randi had her back turned to rewrap the towel, and scoot to sit on the edge of the bed. One arm across her stomach, she propped the other on it, and covered her eyes with her hand.

"This means no massage tonight, huh?"

Randi dropped to her knees in front of the bard, instantly realizing her mistake as Gwen's own unique scent wafted up to her. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, opening them at the gentle touch on her cheek.

"Randi?" Concern radiated from verdant green eyes.

"Gwen, there are pressure points in your body that can be influenced, and depending on the manipulation, they give control of your mind and/or body to the person who moved them."

"Ben has control of my mind??? But Randi, he's dead!!!"

"Yes, I know, and not exactly. He had some control. He set things up to remove your memories, and then effectively locked everyone out... himself included. Now," her head dropped and then she looked up again. "There is a key to unlocking it, but I'm gonna have to figure it out completely before we try it. I don't want you getting hurt...." Here her eyes lowered again, and this time they stayed down. "... Or worse. I couldn't live with that," she finished in a whisper.

Two small hands gently cupped the Marine's face, and forced her eyes up until they met the bard's own. "Randi, I told you this before, and I meant it. I trust you. And apparently, I always have." Gwen let her hands drop now, and her eyes followed. Randi moved from the floor to sit beside the bard. She took the smaller hands in her own large ones, chafing them softly. She bent her head to catch Gwen's eyes.

"What do you mean, Gwen?" confusion clearly written in her eyes.

The bard lifted her eyes and sighed. "I've been studying my diaries, re-reading my journals in the hopes that something in them would jog my memory." Another sigh as she looked back to the ground. "It hasn't helped me to remember anything yet, but it is fascinating."

"In what way?" Randi found this little exchange extremely spellbinding. The bard had never actually talked about her journals before, and the Marine respected her need for privacy and hadn't asked. Now that Gwen had brought it up, though.... Well, she'd learned as a Sabre never to pass up a golden opportunity, and this certainly was one, handed to her on a silver platter. Still, she would let the blonde lead the conversation, not wanting to pry, but curious nonetheless.

"Well," standing and moving to the closet, "you remember our meeting?" She grabbed her pajamas and Randi nodded. "And you remember the things we've done together?" She slipped her shorts on and turned her back as she dropped her towel. The Marine couldn't help but steal a peek, smiling bittersweetly at the memories this scene provoked.

"Well," the bard continued, stepping from the closet buttoning the last two buttons. "A lot of things I remember... some things I don't. But the things I do remember... they don't make much sense. And the feelings and emotions that I've written about don't exist in the memories. It's a very confused hodge-podge for me. Is this making any sense at all?"

"Uh huh." Randi was telling the truth, though she did hope the younger woman would continue to explain. She was getting a headache from it. So she could only imagine how Gwen was feeling about now.

"Okay, well," Gwen put her folded hands to her lips and started to pace the room. She went back and forth for several minutes, muttering to herself. The Sabre sat quietly, having seen this process many times before when the bard was in a creative mode. Finally, she came to a stop, and put her hands on her hips.

"When I started my diaries here, I was very thorough. I recorded events, thoughts and emotions. And I've been listening to them... wait...." waving her hands. "You have to know that I decided to do this after I went to Mother and Daddy's the other day to pack up some stuff for them. I found a hard file copy of snippets of my diary that made me decide to see if listening to the holos, reading the actual written journals would help anything."

"Okay."

"Okay, so I've been reliving things... watching our friendship grow and change."

"And is that a good thing?"

"So far, it's been a very good thing. It's been a very enlightening experience. Do you know that we are the most unlikely of friends? We are so different. But you know," hastening on at the hurt she could see blooming in the blue eyes. "I think that is why we're are such good best friends." She sat down next to the warrior and leaned against her comfortably.

"Ya think?" smiling a little.

"Yeah, I do. We compliment each other, complete one another."

Randi rubbed the back of her fingers along the bard's smooth cheek. "Yeah, we do." She cleared her throat. "And you know if you ever want to talk about things you find in your diaries, I'll be glad to listen or answer any questions. But I don't want you to think I'm prying. You don't have to share anything you're not comfortable with."

"I know, and I appreciate it... on both counts. Now," taking the warrior's hand and pulling them both to their feet, "let's go rummage for dinner. I didn't fix anything, I got so caught up in my reading."

"That's okay. What do you say to eggs and bacon?"

"With biscuits and jelly?"

"With biscuits and jelly... and peanut butter too, if you like."

"I like... let's go."



Again sleep was difficult for the bard. The only thing that helped was the mysterious tracing. She determined to finds its origin at the first opportunity. That was her last coherent thought as her hand stilled, and her mind raced ahead.



The following day was Friday, and Gwen only had half a day scheduled. Her students had their first performances slated for the evening, so she had the afternoon free. Randi got stuck with several afternoon meetings, so at lunch she said casually, "Would you mind taking the transport out to Rosie's place, and picking us up some barbeque? I know we normally ride out there on Saturdays, but I thought we'd shuttle out to Reed's to see the puppies again." She blushed slightly, but maintained eye contact. "If you want to, that is," she added belatedly.

Gwen smiled. "I like that idea... both of them. Are you coming tonight?"

"Yep. It'll be tight, but I'll be there. I've never missed when I was in town to see it."

"Cool. I'll go and get back. We can have a late supper?"

"Yep. We need to check on your folks too, Little One."

"I know. I spoke to Mother briefly when we got home from Reed's but I need to call her again."

"Tell ya what... why don't we go up there tonight, and then head out to Reed's tomorrow afternoon?
"I'm liking this idea better and better, Stud. I'll pack your bag if you wanna make the arrangements."

"Actually, I keep a couple bags packed for emergencies. Just grab the one that says summer. And bring them with you to the theatre. I'll make sure we leave straight from here. We should get there before it gets too late. I even have a place for us to stay," thinking of the bungalows reserved as temporary quarters for use by Sabres only. She was sure Jerry would waive that little rule. He owed them that much.



Gwen smiled as she stepped out of the transport. Rosie stuck her head out, doing a double take at her familiar customer.

"Well, now... I didn't expect to be seeing you today. Come in! Come in! Where your girl? And where's that lovely bike you two usually ride in on?"

The bard shook her head, chuckling silently. She realized that Rosie was referring to Randi as "her girl" and wondered where she'd gotten that idea. It occurred to her briefly that the proprietress was not the first to refer to them together that way, but she put it aside til later, hoping her diaries would lend some insight. Meantime, the old woman was ushering her in to the inner sanctum, chattering at her the entire time.

"Now, what brings you out here on a weekday, hmm?"

"Oh, I just wanted to pick up some dinner. We're gonna be out of town this weekend again, and I've been missing your wonderful cooking. So, Randi suggested I come get something for supper."

Rosie watched the bard carefully, looking past her words and listening to the tones and intonations behind them. Oh, little one... the feelings are still there, aren't they? It is just a matter of you finding the truth in your heart again. Well, we'll make sure you find it. The world is gonna need the strength of your love for her to survive the coming tribulations. Aloud, she answered Gwen cheerfully. "Well, then. I guess we'd better take care of you then, hmm?" And she started moving about in the kitchen, getting their supper together.

"So tell old Rosie what you've been up to. I've missed seeing ya'll around for the last few weeks."

"Um, this and that," the blonde answered vaguely. There was so much that had happened that was so personal she didn't feel comfortable sharing. "My dad hurt his back, and is having to go through some rather serious rehabilitation. We're going up to see them tonight. Oh, and Ditto had her puppies!" She grinned largely at the thought. "And they are soooo cute."

"I'm sorry to be hearing about your father. How is your mother coping?"

"Very well. She's a very strong woman. And she's really come through as his support through all this. If he's able to walk again, it will be in large part due to her."

"Ah, I had no idea it was so serious for them. I'll make sure to send up a special prayer for them."

"Thanks, Rosie. Every little bit helps."

"Now tell me about those pups," hoping to get a smile from the sadly thoughtful face.

It worked. Gwen put her concerns aside, and told the woman about Ditto, Phil, and the four puppies that made up their little family. Almost half an hour passed in pleasant chatter before Gwen caught sight of the time. "Damn... I've got to get going. My students have their first public performances tonight, and I have to stop by the beach house first. Thanks Rosie," holding up their dinner.

"Anytime, child. Come back and see me again when you can stay and visit for a while, okay?"

"Will do," the bard answered, climbing into the transport. She waved to the watching woman, and headed back down the road toward home. Rosie's eyes followed her progress until she was out of sight. The old woman didn't even flinch in surprise when another figure suddenly appeared beside her.

"It's bad?"

"Everything points in that direction, yes."

"Shit," the deity cursed, and the shamaness simply looked at the goddess. "What can we do?"

"Wait and pray?? There are too many factors in flux for me to be able to give you the pat answer you want Athena."

"I know." The goddess hung her head. "I'm sorry, Rosie. You know what the consequences are here." She sighed. "Just keep an eye on things, will you? I will be watching too."

"You know I will, goddess."

"Thank you, my friend." And the wisdom goddess simply disappeared in the mist.



"I was beginning to wonder if we were gonna get a chance to eat before the performance," Randi teased the bard as they entered the security office with full hands. "You certainly believe in cutting it close, don't you?"

"Be nice to me, gunny, or I'll be forced to take drastic measures!"

"Oh yeah?" the Marine scoffed. "What could a bitty thing like you do to me?" standing to her full height, and gesturing to her neatly muscular body.

"You wait... I'll get you, and when you least expect it too." The Sabre chuckled soundlessly, and dug into her meal with relish. She wasn't surprised to see the bard moaning over her fried apple pie about halfway through the meal.

"Couldn't wait, hmm?" with a grin. "I hope you got one for me."

"Well, I had, but I don't think I'm gonna give it to you now. I'll keep it for myself."

Outraged blue eyes captured twinkling green. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Well," removing the treat from its wrapping, "You wanted to know what I could do to you, didn't you?" The blue eyes went round as the bard broke off a small piece and sucked it off her fingers into her mouth. The movement was as much erotic as it was teasing, and Randi swallowed the moan she felt rising in response. Gwen took a second bite, this time allowing her own little moan to escape. The Sabre reached across the small table.

"Give me that!"

Gwen jumped back out of her reach, laughing a little. "I don't think so."

Randi rose, and so did the bard, and they had a short chase around the room. The Marine's obvious height and reach advantages came into play, and she captured Gwen rather quickly. She pinned the small body between her own and the wall, intent on taking the pie away from the blonde. Her body turned traitor, though, and she felt herself mesmerized by the feel of Gwen in her arms.

The bard felt the change, and the electricity running between them caused her darkened green eyes to meet their deep blue twins. They stood still for a moment, breathing each other's air before Randi pulled away a bit, and stole the last half of the treat.

"Thanks Gwen!" with a smile on her face while her body screamed in outrage and her soul cried in anguish at being separated from its mirror twin. She popped half the pie in her mouth, and held out the last bite to the bard. "Here."

"Thanks, Randi," placing the sweet in her mouth absently, while still processing the tingling reaction she could feel throughout her body to the Marine's possessive touch. It made her very glad to have packed her first written journal. She knew the answers she was searching for were there, if she kept looking.



The recital went off quite well, and Gwen and Randi managed to make their escape rather quickly when it was over. The bard yawned for the third time in as many minutes once they were comfortably ensconced on either end of the soft couch in the private shuttle.

"Ya know, I've noticed we always have a private shuttle when we go anywhere. Why is that? Damn, I'm tired."

"Still not sleeping?" Gwen shook her head, and Randi thought about it for all of two seconds before she patted her lap. "C'mere." Willingly, the bard put her head on Randi's strong legs, closing her eyes as a peaceful warmth pervaded her senses. "This is one reason I travel privately when I can. I like the personal space." She smiled down at the blonde head whose eyes were tightly shut. "Besides," she continued, shifting a little, "it's a great way to catch a few zzz's."

She watched in fascination for a minute as the bard began her absent tracing. "Um hmm," the Marine heard Gwen agree. "It sure is." The next sound Randi heard was a soft almost snoring sound.

"Good night, love."



The bard didn't stir when the shuttle landed, except to coo slightly and cuddle closer when Randi carried her to the waiting transport. During their short trip to the bungalow, she stayed nestled in the Marine's lap, whose face was the picture of bemusement. She was quite comfortable, but more than a touch confused. What is going on with you, Gwen? You sleep with me, but not away from me? And what is with the tracing? Is your mind trying to remember?

The transport stopped, and Randi opened the door by key code and password information that controlled the security system. The driver brought the duffels in, and exited as silently as she had entered. Randi, meanwhile, carried Gwen into a bedroom, and after removing her shoes, tucked her into bed. The bard emitted a slight whimper of protest when the warrior released her, and Randi wrapped Gwen's arms around a second pillow. She noted again the fingers moving unconsciously. Then she left the room, and went to her own.

Yawning, she entered the dark room, and stripped down to her underwear. She walked into the dark bathroom, and brushed her teeth, and then slid into the cool, clean sheets. She was asleep within minutes.

It didn't take very long once Randi had left the bard alone for Gwen to wake up. She sat up and looked around, disoriented and confused. What the....? She scrubbed her face, and ran her hands through her hair. Oh, I musta fell asleep on the shuttle, and now we are in the capital city. Well, since I'm awake....

She got up and went to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and putting on her pajamas. She walked towards the bed, then hesitated. Maybe I'd better check, just to be sure. She felt a little foolish, but her feet continued out the bedroom door, and toward the only other inner door in the small cottage. The door was cracked, and she eased it open. The moonlight provided an interesting backlight, and the hallway nightlight gave enough foreshadowing that Randi's face was perfectly outlined. She stopped, staring at the warrior's profile in startlement. There was something curiously familiar about it.

A hand came up to cover Gwen's mouth, and she reached out with the other. Finally, the bard's mind commanded her feet to move forward, to confirm what her eyes were telling her was true. Slowly, step by eternal step, the storyteller made her was to Randi's bedside. She sank to the floor, hand still extended, and gently touched the soft skin of the warrior's face, confirming her suspicions.

Randi froze at the first tentative touch, hardly daring to breathe. She'd felt Gwen come in the room, heard her soft gasp, and laid there drowsily wondering what was going on. At the bard's first touch, she felt the tears gather in her eyes. Oh God, how I've missed this. It was the sobbing that brought her own tears flowing, and caused her to sit up on an elbow.

"It's you. Oh my God, it's you." The bard repeated the mantra several times, tears flowing, before Randi grasped Gwen under the arms and literally hefted her into the bed. The warrior lay down flat on her back, and cuddled the blonde up next to her, placing Gwen's head over her own strong heartbeat. The bard lay there peacefully for a few minutes, as her crying diminished. Then she propped up on an elbow, and looked down at the tear filled blue eyes gazing back at her. She raised a hand, still slightly shaking, to Randi's face. Their eyes closed in tandem as sensations now deeply engrained as the ritual itself washed over them.

Finally, Gwen placed her head back on the warrior's chest, and whispered, "Night, love," snoring before the words registered in Randi's ears.

"Good night, love." And thank you, Dite. It's only a start, I know, but at least it's a step in the right direction. And without another thought, the Sabre fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.



The Marine resisted opening her eyes when morning's light began to stream in through the window. If I can just keep them shut a little longer.... In her mind's eye, she could picture Gwen curled up next to her, gently tracing her features in the early light. Randi smiled in her sleep, then frowned when her imagination produced the very real sensation of warm, wet tears falling onto her chest.

Slowly, she let her eyes open and focused on the small hand lightly touching her face, and the blonde head tucked neatly under her chin. In reflex, she hugged the bard's body closer to her, and whispered, "Good morning."

Gwen sat up slightly then... enough so her tear-filled green eyes met the deep blue of her companion's. She lifted a shaking hand to wipe the tears, and smiled down tremulously. The Marine caught the hand, and impulsively brought it to her lips. Then she placed Gwen's hand on her own chest, over her heartbeat, and wiped the tears away with her own, larger hand. The Sabre smiled when the blonde closed her eyes, and leaned into her touch.

"It was you," Gwen whispered again, as though still trying to make herself believe the truth now so obviously in front of her. She traced the fine facial features once again. "I still don't remember, still don't understand. He took this from me, from us. He took so much."

"Yes, he did," Randi replied quietly. "But it is nothing we can't regain, if that's what you want."

"I want."

"Well, c'mon then. We need to get ready and go see your folks, and then, well, we'll just have to see."

Impulsively the bard turned and gave Randi a tight hug. "I love you, ya know. I'm so glad you're a part of my life."

The Sabre returned the embrace as fiercely as she dared. "Ditto, my friend. I love you too."



They heard Geoff cursing all the way down the short hallway as they stepped inside the medifac. He had therapy six days a week, working different muscle groups alternately. And he hadn't been allowed to stay in the cottage with Jill yet. So he was tired and cranky and frustrated. Jill plunged headlong out of his room, and crashed straight into the pair approaching. Only Randi's quick reflexes saved them all from falling butt first to the floor.

"Jill?"
"Mama?"

The older woman hesitated, then wrapped her arms around both necks. "Oh girls! It is so nice to see you both here. You have no idea."

"What's wrong, Mama?"

Jill sighed. "Nothing, really. Your father is just a little aggravated with himself and the world today. Nothing a little time and improvement won't solve." She gave a shaky smile. "It's just been one of those days. But I'm glad to see you both. What a nice surprise." The woman took a long look at them, noting their close proximity to one another and smiled a little more strongly. Things weren't back to normal, yet, but they were much improved over what they had been even just a week prior.

"Gwen, why don't you take your mom and go get some coffee and maybe catch her up a bit. I'll go talk to Geoff."

"I'm not sure you want to do that right now, Randi. He's in quite a mood."

"It's okay, Jill. I can handle anything he can dish out. I have dealt with far worse than his attitude. You let me take care of him, and let Gwen take care of you for a little bit, all right?"

Jill looked up into blue eyes, filled with caring and determination, and sighed. "I'd like that, honestly. It's been a rough couple of days. Thanks."

"No problem, Mama. C'mon. I brought some wonderful blueberry muffins," green eyes twinkled at the Marine. "They are still warm. Bet we can find some butter to go with them. Maybe go share them out in the garden?"

"Oh, that sounds like heaven," Jill answered, then turned to Randi. "You sure you'll be okay with him?"

"Trust me, Jill. We'll both be fine." She looked to Gwen. "Try to save me a muffin, will ya?"

Randi watched the two Goldman women walk off toward the small mess area, before turning and heading for Geoff's room. She heard the muttering and cursing more clearly as she approached the doorway, not at all surprised to hear the guttural yell that followed. The weapons smith caught sight of her and roared his disgust.

"YOU?! This is all YOUR fault! How dare you show your face here! Do you have any idea what this feels like??? Goddamn you!"

Randi stood still as a statue, knowing the words came from his pain and frustration. It didn't make them hurt less, but it did make her understand their source better. She was calm as she pushed off the doorframe and walked to his side.

"I will accept the responsibility for your injury, though you made the choice to go on this mission yourself. I was the commander, and therefore everything that happened ultimately lies on my shoulder. But I will NOT accept responsibility for your piss-poor attitude. Yes, I DO know what it feel like, as a matter of fact. I KNOW what it feels like to have to push and work and hurt and cry to regain the use of a body I once took for granted. I know what it feels like to have given up everything, to have lost everything. So don't you DARE presume to lie there and take out your bad mood on me or anyone else. You got me, mister?"

Geoff, shocked, simply nodded his head mutely. He snapped his mouth shut, and swallowed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the pillows propped behind him. "I was being an ass, huh?"

"Uh huh. Not that it's not understandable... it is. Especially from my point of view. But Jill doesn't deserve the shit."

"No, you're right." He sighed. "She doesn't. She has been very supportive, and exceptionally understandable about the whole Sabre situation. It's just hard."

The Marine gestured to the bed, and took a seat when Geoff nodded affirmatively. She squeezed his shoulder firmly. "I know, my friend. I really do understand how you feel right now."

He looked deep into her eyes, and realized the truth of her words. "You really do, don't you? Was it very terrible, Randi? There are times the pain is overwhelming, even with the treatments, and it seems my progress is non-existent. It's very disheartening."

"Oh I know all to well what you're feeling, Geoff. You have actually made remarkable progress. The fact that you already have almost full use of your upper body is amazing. It took me a full year to recover, and Geoff, I was very lucky. I was so determined to come home to Gwen. I really wasn't completely healed. I had horrible scars, and a very bad limp. I was still in quite a bit of pain."

"But, what happened? I mean...." gesturing to the obviously fit body.

"A gift, from Aphrodite. Because of Gwen's faith, and mine. My willingness to be less than perfect, and to let her choose, no matter the cost to myself.

He thought about what she was saying, and what she wasn't, and nodded. "I'm sorry," he finally said quietly. "This was no one's fault, and I have no right to blame you for what happened. As I recall, you weren't given an option on taking a team or who the team members were. You didn't deserve my anger. It's not your fault."

"No, it's not, but I bet you feel better for having gotten the rant and the apology out of your system, huh?"

"Yeah," he grinned slightly. "I do. Thank you. Now, how are things with you and Gwen? Jill filled me in on what happened, and I'll tell you Randi... Gwen asked some hard questions."

"I know. We've talked quite a bit. Things are not where they were, but I have faith. She wants them to be, and they will. It's just gonna take a little time and effort on my part... time and effort well spent. This time, I'm gonna court my girl properly."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well, I'm still working on the details. But if I can win her by unconsciously courting her, imagine what I could do if I TRY." She grinned broadly, and the weapons smith couldn't help but smile in return.

"She'll lose her heart to you all over again."

"I hope so, Geoff."

"I *know* so, Randi."



The air was warm, but not stifling like it had been. The bumblebees buzzed lazily past, and there was a slight breeze. The bard led the way through the garden and out the gate to the small stream. Jill looked at her surroundings approvingly before sitting and helping herself to a muffin.

Silence, save for the outdoor summer sounds that encompassed them reigned for a time, while they dug in heartily to the warm muffins and coffee. When they were satisfied, Gwen leaned back and closed her eyes to the bright sunshine. "How are you doing, Mother?" She tilted her head in Jill's direction, and waited for the older woman to answer her.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I just get tired and frustrated. I'm glad you girls are here, even just for a little while. I think your daddy will be encouraged. He loves both of you girls so much."

"How's he doing?"

"Well, he has good days and bad days. Today didn't start very well, and he is under the impression he should just be able to decide he is fine and everything will work again like it should. It's one thing to understand it is going to be a slow road of recovery... it is another to accept it as truth. But we are both doing pretty good, all things considered." She smiled at her daughter. "How are things with you and Randi?"

Gwen had been looking at her mother as she talked about Geoff, but that question made her flush pink and look away. She reached a hand up for the chain the hung around her neck, and grasped the ring.

"Gwen? Honey?"

She sighed, looking down at the ring she held. "Mama, I'm not really sure how to answer that question. It's like... I know I am missing some pretty big pieces, and I'm working on getting them back, but Mama... it's like I'm drawn to her. We're a part of each other." She looked at Jill then. "Is any of this making any sense?"

"More than you know, daughter. Go on."

"I feel connected to her on levels I didn't know I felt. She completes me." She looked down at her ring again, then looked at her mother. "And there is a story behind this, I'm almost sure of it. I've seen the one Randi wears, Mama. It is a perfect match."

"Have you asked her about it?"

"No. I... I want to find what I lost first. I don't want to force her into a position she might not want to be in. That would be embarrassing for both of us, and I need her friendship in my life."

"So you think you know what it symbolizes?"

"I think so, yes. I remember the story that Gramma told me as a child."

"Well, you take your time. I'm sure Randi won't begrudge you the opportunity to work out things for yourself. And I would imagine she'll answer any questions you ask. But remember, Gwen, she cares about you. Be good to her, and be fair."

The bard looked puzzled at the statement, then nodded agreeably. "I will, Mama. Friends stick by one another, you know, and I think that is what Randi is doing... sticking by and letting me relearn at my own pace. She could very easily have told me anything... everything... but she didn't. And I'm not losing her over something stupid like a little memory problem!"

Jill had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing aloud.

"Now, let's take her the last of these muffins, before I forget how to share," said with a grin. "Besides, I want to talk to Daddy." And the two women rose and moved as one back toward the small building.





Continued In Chapter XII