~ October ~
by Day


Disclaimer: This is an uber story so I donīt need any which is nice for a change cuz theyīre so tiresome to write.

Author's Note: So far I have written this story in episodes and only posted them on my own site, but since I occasionally have had problems with it, I decided to post this story other places as well. However, here Iīll wait until I have material enough for 5 episodes before posting, so if you think itīs too long between updates, check out my own site where Iīm posting an episode as soon as itīs been written. Which doesnīt mean it canīt take some time now and then, I might add. <s> Before I forget, thereīll be both sex and hurt feelings in this one.

Comments are welcome at: dayze11@hotmail.com

Copyright (c) 1999 by Day


Part 1

Episode 1

We met a Friday in October, in the beginning of the first really cold month. September had been surprisingly but pleasantly warm and I remember feeling slightly startled when I stepped outside that day and felt cold, having to zip up my jacket for the first time in many months. It was a few hours past noon and I had just finished at the office, deciding to go home early after having worked late for weeks. But as I stepped outside, I didnīt feel like driving home to an empty apartment and somehow found myself walking away from the parking lot, down the street.

At that time, I pretended I didnīt know where I was going, but of course, deep inside, I knew exactly where I was heading. I had walked past the place many times, never daring to go inside, both out of fear what might happen or, I suppose, what might not happen. What compelled me to go inside that particular day, Iīll never know, but Iīll always be grateful that I did. Otherwise, I wouldnīt have met her.

The Stage was a small, cosy cafe/bar and in spite of not having any stage at all, or any other place to perform, if one doesnīt count the bar as a stage for various performances, itīs a nice place with friendly and relaxed people. Gay people to be exact, both sexes. Straight people go there too with their gay friends or just to drink the Stageīs famous coffees, but the main clientele is gay men and women looking for a place to relax and be themselves without having to worry about being hit on if not interested. That was one of the reasons I dared to go in there, I wasnīt sure how Iīd react if anybody tried to pick me up, and to be honest, I wasnīt sure how Iīd react if nobody tried either. In spite of my twenty-seven years, I had little experience with, as it was in this case, the same sex. Iīd had a few fumbling encounters during college, but fear had always held me back, either fear of being found out or fear of being hurt. It had been a couple of years since I had been with a woman, not that I had been living a chaste life ever since college, far from it, I had my share of men, but as people in my situation probably know, it hadnīt quite been the same, hadnīt quite been enough. Sure, they were sweet and gentle, perfect gentlemen, intelligent and funny, and I cared for them, a lot, but I was never in love. So it was with a feeling of both excitement and nervousness, I opened the door to the Stage and went inside.

When you walk inside the Stage, the bar is to the left, together with a huge mirror going all the way from one end to the another, thus ensuing that the various patrons at the tables to the right in the room, never have to worry about not being able to see themselves for a second. The mirror is probably the only thing I donīt like about the place, since it makes me feel rather self-conscious being able to see myself constantly, drinking or eating. People tell me Iīm pretty, some even say beautiful and when Iīm feeling good and self-confident, I know that Iīm not bad looking, but that doesnīt mean you feel that way in general. Itīs sufficient to say that I donīt, or didnīt. She changed that. Looking into her eyes, seeing the adoration and love has helped me think more of myself, and one day, I might even see myself the way she does.

While weīre at it, I suppose, I might as well tell you how I look, to get it over with so to speak. Iīve short blond hair, green eyes and a pale complexion that during the summer stubbornly refuses to tan and insists on taking on a shade of red instead, no matter how much sunblock I splash on my skin. My built is slender and feminine and my height is about 5.3-5.4 depending on my shoes. As most short people, Iīve always wanted to be taller, but since wishing things donīt necessarily make them happen, Iīve resigned myself to my fate and try to take pleasure in the fact that I never have to duck when entering places.

The Stage was relatively deserted, I had entered between the two busiest periods, after lunch and before the pre-dinner crowd arrived, so I had no trouble getting to the bar where the friendly, but professional bartender supplied me with the club soda I asked for. She gave me a little smile and for a moment, I feared she was going to ask what a nice girl like me was doing in a place like this, but she didnīt and just resumed polishing glass like she didnīt have a care in the world. Feeling way too exposed sitting alone at the bar, I turned around and eyed the tables before me. Three were occupied with both men and women talking amiably with each other, laughing and gesturing loudly. Two other tables were occupied with a gay couple from each sex and around the last occupied table sat three women who, in spite of it only being around 3 p.m., had several empty bottles and glasses in front of them and judging from the laughter, it wasnīt just lemonade they had been drinking.

I made my way past the taken tables and sat down at the corner table, slightly away from the rest, providing me with a clear view of the entire place. Low, non-distinct music started to flow from the speakers in the corners as I sat and fiddled with my glass, wondering what the hell I was doing there and how soon I could get up and leave without being too conspicuous.

I had just finished my drink and was about to get up when, in the periphery of my vision, I saw the door open and a figure step inside. I know, Iīm probably not the most objective person in this case, but to this day I swear that all talk faded and all eyes followed her as she casually strode over to the bar and sat down on one of the chairs. The bartender, who had managed to pull her attention away from her polishing, approached the new customer with something resembling a predatory grin, not bothering to hide her frank appraisal of the strangerīs body.

"Hey, gorgeous. What can I serve you with?" The remark was followed by an even wider grin and I found myself getting irritated on behalf of the newcomer, but she didnīt seem to mind or care and just smiled briefly in return.

"Iīll have a gin and tonic, a double, please."

"Coming right up," the bartender spoke with considerable more enthusiasm than when she received my order, but I canīt say that I blamed her. The stranger was gorgeous. It was a simple as that. Short, pitch black hair stopping just short of her shoulders and a tanned, almost bronze skin which I in that instant was ready to kill for. She was wearing a grey shirt tucked into khaki trousers, a black leather jacket and black leather shoes. When she turned her head slightly to study the area behind her, I couldnīt help but notice the prominent cheekbones and the casual grace in which she moved, but these thoughts perished the moment I was caught up in the most intense, blue eyes Iīd ever seen. I felt my heart skip a beat and parted my lips as if to say something, but in that same instant the moment was over and she returned her attention to the bartender whoīd just brought her the drink.

For a moment I just sat there, feeling my heart pound furiously in my chest, my mouth suddenly dry. The stranger at the bar seemed oblivious to the several pairs of eyes at her back as she sipped her drink and pulled out a paperback from her left pocket and started to read. I strained to see the title, but was unable to, partly because my attention kept drifting back to her eyes, wanting her to look at me again and partly because, one of the women from the table closest to me, the one with all the bottles, chose that moment to approach the stranger, effectively obstructing my view of the black-haired woman.

Not woman, girl, my mind instantly corrected. She can hardly be more than twenty, sheīs almost achild, for Christīs sake. Get a grip.

But another part of my mind refused to pay any attention to the first, as I desperately tried to follow the conversation at the bar without appearing like I was. I saw the woman casually, (casually, yeah right!) put her hand on the girlīs arm, just above the elbow and lean forward as if saying something very important only meant for the two of them to hear. I saw the blue gaze focus on the hand on her arm, then slowly return to the armīs owner. I could swear her eyes darkened just a little before she shook her head and said something to the other woman, something I of course wasnīt able to hear, no matter how much I wanted to.

The woman spoke again and I was tempted to shout, "Move away from her! Canīt you see sheīs not interested!" But of course, I didnīt and thus saved myself a lot of embarrassment, although when I told her about it later, she smiled and said she would wish I had done just that. But back then, I could only sit paralysed on my chair and watch the exchange at the bar, feeling strangely powerless and helpless, like something was being taken away from me, something that was meant for me and me alone.

I let out a sigh of relief as the woman finally relented and returned to her table with a small shrug, but just as my heart rate returned to normal, I saw to my dismay one of the womanīs friends rise from the table and walk towards the bar, her intent clearly written in her eyes. I knew it was silly, but I felt rather homicidal at that moment and although I tried to pretend, I was just upset on behalf of the girl, I knew it wasnīt true. The woman, a brunette, seductively sat down beside the stranger and leaned forward whispering something. The black-haired girl who had resumed her reading after her first pursuer left, looked up again, casually studying the reclining woman next to her. I held my breath, terrified that I would see just the slightest spark of interest in the blue eyes, but nothing appeared and the friendly, but distanced look remained. As the brunette leaned even closer, practically whispering into an ear, of which God would have been proud to have created, I saw the girl sigh and gesture at the book momentarily lying on the bar beside her, then smile and shake her head.

The brunette sat back a little, then smiled herself and patted the leather clad shoulder gently and walked back to her table. As she passed me, Iīm sure I heard her say, "that one couldnīt blame a girl for trying." I had just started to relax again and was about to pick up on my close study of the stranger when, to my great annoyance, I saw the third woman at the table make a move to stand up. To this day, I donīt know what went through my head, but suddenly I found myself walking away from my table, practically cutting in in front of the other woman, before sitting down on the chair beside the girl. My heart was pounding furiously again and I didnīt dare look to my left and instead stared at the mirror, seeing a slightly flushed and nervous looking woman stare right back at me.

I threw a glance at the reflection of the women at the table behind me and was shocked when the woman Iīd just outrun, raised her glass in silent recognition, an amused smile playing on her lips. I immediately looked away, down at the smooth wood of the bar and a few seconds went by before I dared to look up again and into the mirror. My gaze darted to the left and the girl chose that moment to look up and our eyes met in the mirror. It was a strange feeling watching her in the mirror, knowing she was within armīs reach, but I still wasnīt brave enough to turn around to face her. All too soon it was over. She gave me a pleasant smile, one you would give any stranger, and resumed her reading. Something inside me screamed that it was now or never and with courage, I till then didnīt know I possessed, I turned around.

"It must be a very captivating book since you prefer it to the company of not one, but two beautiful women."

Immediately after the sentence had left my mouth I was horrified that Iīd had the nerve to say that, but also strangely proud. Iīd never been very good at small-talk or pick-up lines and although I at that moment, wished I was anywhere but there, I felt it wasnīt the worst attempt I could have made. The girl looked up, her blue eyes unreadable. Without a word, she slipped in a bookmark and showed me the cover.

"Keats," she spoke softly and I felt a shiver run down my back from the low, smooth tone of her voice. "Selected poems."

I gathered myself, deciding that since Iīd made it this far, I might as well try to move on from there. If I screwed up, I could always excuse myself and run.

"Do you always bring poetry with you?" I asked, hoping it sounded casual, yet interested.

She gave me a crooked smile which I later learned was a trademark of hers, "Nah, I just like to show off in bars."

I felt a smile emerge on my lips and she smiled again in return before reaching for her drink. When she noticed it was empty, she gestured for the bartender who instantly materialised in front of her, another wide smile on her face.

"Yes, gorgeous? What can I do for you?"

The girl ignored the endearment and just pointed at her glass, "Iīll have another one of these." She looked at me questioningly and I realized she was waiting for me to voice my order.

"Uh, Iīll have?" I suddenly didnīt want to order another club soda, but then I felt silly. I was a grown woman and shouldnīt let others dictate what I drank, so I just smiled and said, "Iīll have a club soda, please."

The bartender nodded and walked away to get our drinks. I looked back at the girl and noticed she was looking at me curiously, but the moment our eyes met, the expression was replaced by the now familiar friendly, but distanced look. We sat in silence until the bartender returned with our drinks, and the black-haired girl raised her glass in a silent toast and took a few healthy gulps before putting the glass back down.

She watched me take a sip or two from of the water and as I looked into her eyes, I noticed a slightly mischievous twinkle appear, "Thanks for rescuing me," she whispered conspiratorially and I must have looked as confused as I felt because she indicated the table behind us with her head. "From them?" She smiled and I couldnīt stop myself from returning it. "I didnīt think people still did that."

"Did what?"

"Rescued maidens in distress," she smirked and took another gulp from the glass.

"Oh, youīre hardly a maiden and you were hardly in distress," I heard myself say and instantly felt myself blush. The girl had the grace not to notice and looked away for a few seconds.

"Nah, guess you got a point there," she then drawled and looked back at me again, "but itīs nice nonetheless."

I didnīt know what to say so I did the only think I could think of; I smiled and she returned it gradually and I couldnīt help but notice how the smile lit up her face, making her features even more striking. We sat together in a comfortable silence, sipping our drinks. I was desperately trying to think of something clever or just remotely interesting to say whereas she looked like she was far, far away, the blue eyes even more distant than before.

"Whatīs your name?"

Okay, it might not be clever, but at least itīs a natural thing to ask and she didnīt seem to mind as her gaze slowly focused on my face again.

"Teresa, people call me Terri."

She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Oh, my nameīs Sarah, people call me?Sarah."

She chuckled quietly, "Nice to meet you, Sarah."

"Likewise," I replied instinctively and I saw her smile briefly while finishing her drink. She pushed the glass away and rummaged through the pockets in her trousers and pulled out various notes and coins. She picked one and tossed it on the bar before taking her book and putting it back into her jacket. Suddenly I felt desperate. She was about to leave and if I didnīt do anything, I would most likely never see her again and for some reason that thought terrified me more than the thought that I might embarrass myself completely in front of her.

"What are you doing tonight?"

I was surprised by my bluntness, but not ashamed. At least if it didnīt work, I could say I gave it my best shot, that I tried. The blue eyes contemplated me for a long time and I felt both warm and cold under the close scrutiny.

"Well?" She spoke slowly, clearly still making up her mind as she went. "I had something planned, but nothing that canīt wait till later. Why? Do you have anything in mind?"

And there it was. The opportunity for me to retreat and pull back with some kind of polite excuse and hurry home with my dignity more or less still intact, or I could continue this game Iīd instigated myself and ask a total stranger, a girl who Iīd known for less than an hour out for a date. I didnīt have to think twice.

"I thought we could? I donīt know, perhaps do something?together?"

As the blue eyes continued to stare at me, I felt my confidence melt, but I was unable to look away.

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "I was thinking about going to the planetarium tonight, catch a show or something, you know, one of the omnimax films. You can come if you want to."

Her voice was casual and her posture relaxed and maybe it was just in imagination, but I was sure, I heard her hold her breath, waiting.

"Iīd like that," I said. "I havenīt been to the planetarium for years."

"Itīs a good place, they show some great films. I like it when they make it seem like youīre flying?itīs a nice feeling."

As I looked into her eyes, I knew exactly what she meant.

"What time?"

"Uh?" She reached inside her leather jacket and pulled out a brochure. "The one, I wanted to see starts at 9 p.m.. Itīs about Egypt. Is that okay with you?"

I wasnīt sure whether she meant the time or the film, but I couldnīt care less. "Thatīs fine." I paused, feeling strangely brave again. "We could meet a quarter to nine outside the planetarium?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "Iīll be there."

She started to rise, but I reached out and put a hand on her arm, "Perhaps, I should get your phone number, just in case something comes up. I donīt want you to wait for me in vain."

By now, the careful, self-conscious and suburban part of my mind had thrown in the towel and wasnīt the least shocked by this audacity. Apparently, Terri wasnīt either as she just smiled another one of those crooked smiles.

"Well, we wouldnīt want that, would we?"

She took a napkin from the bar and looked around for something to write with. I took a pen from my shirt pocket and handed it to her. She studied it closely, "Sarah Marie Kingston, Bachelor of Laws," she read slowly before scribbling down her number. "Nice."

I smiled, suddenly feeling self-conscious again. "It was a graduation present from my father. Heīs a lawyer too."

She nodded and handed me back the pen together with the napkin, "Youīll probably get my answering machine if you call, but just speak anyway and wait a little. Sometimes, I just donīt feel like talking to people."

I wondered if that meant that she would pick up if she heard it was me, but I was finally running out of bravado and decided to keep that one to myself. She stood up, but instead of leaving, studied me again with those beautiful blue eyes of hers.

"Perhaps?" She spoke slowly, "Perhaps, I should get your number too, you know, just in case."

I couldnīt keep the smile from my face as I took another napkin and wrote down my number. She looked at the number for a brief moment as if memorizing it, then she looked back at me.

"See you tonight then."

"Yes, see you."

Without saying another word, she turned and walked out of the bar and I couldnīt help but stare after the lean, graceful body even long after Terri had disappeared out of my sight.

Episode 2

I arrived at the planetarium at exactly 8:43 p.m.. To be honest, I had parked in the parking lot a few blocks away around 8:15pm, but Iīd forced myself to wait in the car, not wanting to wait outside for more than half an hour in case she didnīt show up.

On my way home from the bar, the more rational part of my brain had kicked in again and the last couple of hours I had spent respectively going through my closet to find something appropriate to wear, (what does one wear in a planetarium anyway?) or standing in front of the mirror, staring in disbelief at the woman reflected there.

What the hell do you think youīre doing? Have you lost your mind? Youīre about to go on a date with a girl whoīs at least six or seven years your junior, subtract a year or two and she would be a teenager! A girl you know absolutely nothing about except that she likes Keats and gin & tonic? And omnimax films, the romantic, daydreaming part of my brain added helpfully. Yeah, youīre as close as you could get! The rational part sneered.

After having stared at myself for about five minutes, I decided to finish dressing and stop watching reruns of "The Wonder Years," the constant commentary obviously affecting my life in a less than constructive way.

So here I was, outside the enormous grey building that housed the planetarium, waiting for my date to show up. Okay, I admit I wasnīt sure it was a real date, after all, she had been planning to go there anyway, but some part of me liked the idea of considering this a date, and after a brief struggle with myself, I decided to leave it at that. I mean, even if it didnīt work out, if we had an awful time together it would still be a date, a bad date, but a date nonetheless and since it had been much longer than I cared to remember when I was last on one of those things, my ego and I compromised and called it a date.

When the clock ticked close to 8:55 p.m., I was feeling very silly and very stupid. Perhaps Terri was right now sitting with her friends, telling them about this lawyer who first came to her rescue then tried to pick her up herself. I was just about to leave when I heard running footsteps behind me and turned to see Terri run towards me. Again I was mesmerised by her graceful movements and had to force myself not to stare directly at her body as she stopped in front of me, slightly out of breath, but not much. She gave me an apologetically smile and I instantly forgave her for being late.

"Sorry," she breathed. "The bus was late and then the bridge was up. I had to run all the way from the station."

"No problem, I tend to arrive a little late myself most times."

Which of course was a lie, Iīm more punctual than Father Time and always have been, but already I was feeling the need to make Terri feel good, make her happy. A need that was to grow stronger and stronger as time went by. She smiled and looked towards the entrance.

"We better go in. This place actually starts the films on time."

"No trailers, huh?"

"Exactly," she replied as she, to my great delight, placed her hand on my lower back and gently guided me through the doors. She removed her hand the moment we were inside and my body instantly felt the loss while my mind was swimming with warm, pleasant sensations.

She strode over to the box office, (or whatever you call it in a planetarium) and asked for two tickets. The young man selling the tickets was obviously having a hard time concentrating on his task, instead letting his eyes roam Terriīs body which caused him to give her the wrong change twice, and although I was aware that nobody else knew that Terri wasnīt just my friend, but my date, I felt strangely proud as I watched her make her way back to me, rolling her eyes.

"Geez. Some people need to get a life."

I chuckled quietly as I followed her through the corridor which led to the auditorium, wondering if Terri knew I was one of the people who needed to get a life. I was having a hard time not to stare her, not just her body, although it was pleasant enough to look at for itself, but all of her. The way she moved, the way she would give me a casual grin while telling me something that amused her, the way she kept brushing black strands away from her eyes or behind her ears, or the entire way in which she carried herself. So confident, so relaxed, like she had never had to worry about anything in her life and didnīt care about what people might think, but only what she thought herself.

As she stopped to show another young man our tickets and waited for me to walk into the darkened room before her, I realized I was jealous. Jealous, not so much of her looks, but of the air around her. The quiet self-assurance that seemed to emanate from every pore. As we walked along the side of the huge auditorium, slowly bringing us closer and closer to the ceiling above us, I thought about how you attained a confidence like that. Whether it was something you were born with or something you developed yourself. I was about to step down an aisle when I heard Terriīs voice in my ear.

"Itīs better if we go a little higher, otherwise weīll have to crane our necks all the time."

I nodded and moved a couple of rows further up, acutely aware of Terriīs presence just behind me. She was taller than me, but not that much and since Iīd been used to looking up at people all my life, I didnīt really notice.

"Here," I felt her hand on my lower back again. "This should do."

I stepped down the aisle, somehow managing not to step on the feet of the elderly couple taking up all the space between the seats, and walked as far away from them as I could get before sitting down. Terri slumped down in the seat beside me, sighing contentedly and took off her leather jacket to reveal a black shirt tucked into a just as black pair of jeans.

She turned her head and I was vividly reminded why the cinema was a favourite place for couples to go; you get to sit together close, very close, in the dark. She gave me a small smile for no apparent reason and leaned back in her seat to look up at the enormous dome-shaped ceiling above us. I on the other hand leaned forward to look down, coming to the conclusion that a planetarium wasnīt a place you should go if you were afraid of heights. Luckily, I wasnīt and even if I had been, nothing could have compelled me to leave the dark girl sitting close beside me, her right arm resting on the elbow-rest separating the two seats.

As the lights dimmed, I leaned closer, for the first time inhaling the intoxicating scent that was Terri, "How much for the ticket?"

"Hmm??" She answered absently, her gazed already focused on the star filled sky that had suddenly appeared above us.

"The ticket? How much do I owe you?"

"Oh?" The blue eyes returned to my face and I could swear she frowned for a second. "Nothing, this oneīs on me."

I knew I shouldnīt, but call it some self-sufficient feministic streak or just an old fear of owing people anything, whatever it was, I opened my mouth to protest.

"Itīs okay," she interrupted before I could get going, "youīll just get the next one." Then she made herself comfortable in her seat again and looked back up, blue eyes intently taking in the sight of the flowing Nile.

When I think back to the film we saw that night, Iīm sure it was very interesting, very enlightening and beautifully made, I know Terri loved it, but all I remember is my mind going over one sentence again and again.

The next one? The next one? The next one?

It was a few minutes after 10 as we walked out of the planetarium and out on the street. Not surprisingly it was already dark outside, and I must say that the stars above us were just as beautiful as those we had just spent the last five minutes watching inside while getting a crash course in astronomy.

Terri zipped up her jacket and hugged herself, shifting her weight from one foot to another. She glanced up at the sky, her warm breath leaving clouds of steam around her face, "Itīs gotten cold real fast."

"Yeah," I replied, trying to ignore my cold feet. "I was surprised myself today that I actually had to close my jacket. I havenīt done that for quite some time."

She nodded and looked down at the ground. "I like the cold, it clears my head. Makes me feel alive again."

She spoke so softly that I wasnīt sure whether she was talking to me, the pavement or herself and instead of thinking of an answer, I started to consider my options. I didnīt want the night to be over. I didnīt want to say goodbye to Terri, not before I knew for certain that I would see her again. As if reading my thoughts she looked up.

"Now what?" She hugged herself a little tighter. "Although I like the cold, it doesnīt mean I feel like getting friendly with pneumonia tonight."

And what would you like to get friendly with tonight? The ever existent voice in my head shouted. Are you interested in a boring, old lawyer who doesnīt have a life and who hasnīt had a decent lay for years?

Of course that wasnīt what I said when I finally opened my mouth to speak, after having had to chase some rather vivid images of Terri naked in my bed from my mind.

"We could go for a drink somewhere?"

I could immediately spot the reluctance on her face as she checked her watch.

"Well?" She looked back at me. "Itīs not that I wouldnīt want a drink, but?" She paused, searching for the words. "But I donīt think Iīm up for a bar or a club right now. I think Iīve been around enough people for today."

I looked at her curiously, "Donīt you like to be around people?" She shrugged, giving me a slightly embarrassed smile. "Iīm not much of a peopleīs person. I mean, I like company, but not all the time and usually only when I feel like it."

"And you donīt feel like it now?" I asked, feeling my heart break into a thousand tiny pieces. Terri shrugged again, tapping her right boot against the pavement in some internal rhythm only she could hear. "We could go for a walk? Walk around a little?"

If she had been looking at me, she would have seen the worldīs biggest grin appear on my face.

"Sure, Iīd like that."

She glanced at me briefly as if deciding whether I was serious or not, then nodded and indicated with her hand the direction she wanted to go. We walked in silence side by side down the street, past closed shops and darkened windows. At first I searched my mind for something to say, but then I noticed that Terri seemed to be more than content with just walking and not talking.

I have a tendency to become nervous when people donīt talk, always feeling I have to say something to keep the conversation going, fill out the gaps, but that night I rebelled against my awkwardness and managed to relax and just enjoy the cold fresh air and Terriīs quiet, but comforting company.

We walked for almost an hour and were both starting to feel the chill in our bones as we ended up in front of the now closed planetarium again. Terri looked at her watch.

"I have to go now or I wonīt catch my bus."

"Do you always go by bus?" I asked, not because I was terribly interested in her commuting habits, but because I desperately wanted her to stay just a little longer before walking out of my life, perhaps for good.

"Nah, usually I walk or go by bike. I live within walking distance to practically everything that might interest me, and most times itīs faster to walk."

She checked her watch again, but seemed reluctant to leave, almost lingering? waiting.

"What do you do?" She arched an eyebrow. "I mean do you study or work or?" I let the last part hang in the air, giving her the possibility to change the subject if she wanted to.

"I study history and literature at the university. Or at least I do officially?" She grinned, "I must confess I havenīt actually been there as much as I should."

"Why not?"

Her answer had surprised me. Terri seemed like a very intelligent and determined young woman and I wondered what would keep someone like her away from the university.

She shrugged, her grin fading. "I donīt know? guess Iīm a lazy bastard or something like that."

"It doesnīt interest you?"

"Well? yes, it does, but so does a lot of other things and sometimes I have to prioritise." The crooked grin returned, "Although, I seem to prioritise the things I like over the things I dislike quite frequently."

"What do you like?" I asked, feeling like a damn game show master who couldnīt shut up.

She smiled, almost shyly. "I like to write."

"Write? You mean prose, novels and so?"

"Uh huh, although I havenīt actually written a novel yet. Iīm working on one, but it wonīt be finished for quite awhile. Iīve written a lot of short stories, though."

"Are you any good?" I wanted to kick myself hard for asking that, but Terri didnīt take offence. Her eyes just became thoughtful for a moment, distant. "I think so?" She spoke slowly. "I hope so."

She looked at her watch, frowning. "I wonīt make it to the station now." She looked down the street without really seeing it, contemplating her situation.

"I can give you a lift home?"

Blue eyes returned to my face, "You donīt have to. I can get home on my own." I gave her a reassuring smile, "I want to."

And I did. More than anything I wanted spend more time with this black-haired girl, wanted to see where she lived, meet her friends. Somehow become involved in her life, become a part of her world, if only for a little while.

"Okay," she spoke hesitantly. "Itīs not far."

"This way." I gently put my hand on her arm, leading her with me. "My carīs only five minutes from here."

If she wondered why I hadnīt parked in the parking spaces belonging to the planetarium, she didnīt say so.

We drove in silence through the city, the streets still being rather crowded, but it was after all Friday, and as I reminded myself, some people did have a life. I glanced at the proud profile beside me and felt a warm tingling inside. Perhaps, just perhaps, I would have a life too. Terri turned to look at me, but I didnīt manage to read the expression on her face before she looked back out of the window.

Soon, much too soon for my taste, we drove down a road surrounded by several apartment buildings both left and right. She pointed towards at redbrick building further ahead, "That oneīs mine."

I parked the car and as I turned off the engine, I heard the sound of at least five different kinds of music, coming from at least five different parties. I turned to look at Terri and she smiled wryly, "It tends to get a little loud out here, itīs not too bad now though. Itīs worse after the exams, when everybodyīs done for the year, then you might as well stay up and enjoy yourself because thereīs no sense in going to bed in that noise."

I had gotten the distinct feeling that Terri was a person who liked silence so I looked at her in surprise, "How do you stand it? Iīd go crazy if I couldnīt get any peace and quiet when I needed it."

She shrugged, "You get used to it. Itīs only when itīs really bad that you notice. Besides it can be a lot of fun, too. You start in one end and the next morning you can have been to twenty different parties all over the place." She looked out of the window. "Itīs okay."

I nodded to myself, trying to remember what it was like when I was a student, but to my dismay couldnīt really pinpoint the feeling. It wasnīt like it was that long ago I had attended studentsī parties and danced till four in the morning. I shot a glance at Terri, wondering if she danced. The dark head turned and I looked into the blue eyes that once again took my breath away.

"How old are you, Terri?" I asked softly.

"Iīll be twenty-one next month."

She searched my face, trying to gauge my reaction, but I was looking straight ahead, studying the dark building with the many illuminated windows looming above me. "Iīll be twenty-eight in February," I then said, not knowing why I did it, or if I wanted a response from her.

I could tell from the low creaking of leather that she shifted slightly in her seat, turning her body towards me, "Do you want to come up?"

It was the last thing, I had expected her to say, but as I turned around to face her, I felt my heart start working overtime, causing my blood to race through my veins and my mouth went dry. I knew I should smile and decline graciously, but as I looked into the expectant blue eyes, you might as well have told me to stop breathing and before I knew what was happening, I felt myself nod. She gave me a gentle smile and opened the door.

"Letīs go."

Episode 3

She put her hand into her right pocket and pulled out a set of keys, finding the one she wanted without difficulties in the dim light. She unlocked the door and then another that appeared immediately afterwards, pushing it open and holding it for me to step inside. I walked into a hall that instantly reminded me of a hospital at night or a school during the holidays with its harsh impersonal colours and empty and deserted feel. Terri followed my gaze around and waited until my eyes came to rest on her.

"I donīt know why they insist of painting this place in all the colours of the rainbow, itīs enough to make oneīs eyes hurt."

I smiled, "Maybe theyīre getting a discount at some paint dealer, buying all his surplus stock."

"Maybe."

She started to walk down the hall, past an enormous gathering of orange mailboxes and to a lift, sporting a yellow door and a purple frame.

She raised an eyebrow good-humouredly when she saw the look on my face, "After awhile you donīt notice."

She pressed the only button there and after a few seconds opened the door for me, again waiting for me to step in before her. Inside she pressed three and only a short moment later we arrived at the third floor. This time she stepped out first and walked down a long narrow corridor with several green doors on either side.

"Is everybody here studying?"

"Most," she answered without looking back. "You have to be enrolled at some place of higher education to live here and if you donīt pass your exams you have to go."

"Shouldnīt you be studying at bit more then?"

"Probably."

I could hear the smile in her voice as I followed her down the corridor and although I couldīt see it, I felt compelled to smile myself. I watched the strong back in front of me, the casual movement of the long legs and the elegant fingers absently playing with the keys and I had to swallow, suddenly feeling very nervous. Was the reason Terri had asked me to come up, the reason I thought it was? The one I wanted it to be? Or was she just in the mood for coffee and conversation?

You know she doesnīt talk much, my mind interjected. And she didnīt ask you up for coffee, did she?

I swallowed again, wondering if Terri would think less of me if I turned on my heels and ran, but before I had the chance to do anything, she stopped and inserted a key into the last door to the left of the corridor. She unlocked the door, but before she opened it, turned to look at me.

"It might be a bit messy in there. I wasnīt expecting company tonight."

I could only nod, not sure if I should be pleased by her last remark or not. She opened the door and stepped inside, leaving the door wide open for me to follow. I stepped into a very small, narrow corridor with something resembling a kitchen to the right, not more than a sink and two hotplates with some cupboards above, and directly afterwards a door leading into what appeared to be a small bathroom. I soon realized that nothing was sacred, the bathroom door and the door separating the tiny corridor from the main room being painted in a screaming yellow.

I closed the door behind me and continued ahead, stopping in the doorway to take in the sight of Terriīs room. And thatīs what it was. It was only a single room, but large enough to be comfortable and with small windows making up the entire outer wall supplying me with a brief view of another redbrick building just opposite this one before Terri walked over and closed the blinds, leaving the room in darkness.

I could hear her move around and a warm, orange glow filled the room as she switched on the lamp on her desk that was placed directly in front of the window. Still standing in the doorway, I looked to the right and saw a bed taking up the space of the entire wall and corner. My eyes rested briefly on the carelessly tossed around covers and pillows, then I forced myself to look away and study the rest of the room. Two bookcases not only filled, but stuffed with books were at either side of her desk, close to the window, which had forced Terri to practically lean in over her desk when she drew the blinds, and I silently added another thing to my mental list of Terriīs attributes.

Nice arse.

Getting my thoughts back on track, I looked at the table pushed up against the right wall, almost completely covered with CDs, books and various papers and magazines. A chair had edged itself in between the table and the right bookcase and I noticed Terri hastily remove a few books and a t-shirt before sitting down. I felt her eyes on me as my gaze went to the left side of the room, my eyes widening and I heard her chuckle.

"What can I say, I like music."

I studied the huge collection of CDs before me and then my gaze moved on to the TV and VCR before stopping at the bookcase fronting the left wall.

"Whereīs your stereo?"

She pointed at something under the table and I leaned down to look, "One has to be creative when living like this," the voice was warm and relaxed. "I got most of my videotapes in my closet and the rest of my books are under my bed."

I straightened up and looked at her. She gave me an enigmatic smile, "Sometimes it can be a real bitch to find something, I keep forgetting where I put it."

I nodded in acknowledgement, my eyes for the first time straying higher, up the walls.

"You like R.E.M.?"

"Gee," she smirked. "Whatever makes you think that?"

The walls were decorated wherever humanly possible with huge posters of the band, some displaying the original four and others the now three remaining members of the group.

"You prefer them?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I like a lot of music, sometimes I think itīs easier to ask what I dont like, but R.E.M?." She spoke the word slowly, almost tasting it. "R.E.M. are my favourites."

"They have made some great songs," I replied helpfully and she laughed out loud.

"Please! You donīt want to get me started. I can go on all night."

Iīd hope so.

Before I could banish the treacherous thought from my mind, I felt myself blush and was grateful for the soft, orange glow that only partially illuminated the room, although I doubted that anything escaped the intense blue eyes I could feel at my back as I stepped over to the CD collection and kneeled down.

"Tori Amos, too, huh?"

"Yeah, a friend recommended her to me once and Iīve been hooked ever since."

I let my eyes roam the hundreds and hundreds of CDs, finding everything from Bach and Edith Piaf to P.J. Harvey.

"You were right. You do have a rather versatile taste when it comes to music."

I turned around to find her still watching me.

"I like to keep my options open," she replied slowly and I could feel a shiver run down my back. There was that sultry voice from the bar again. I stood motionless before her, feeling how her eyes slowly ran up and down my body without haste or impatience. I could swear she licked her lips as our eyes met again and a languid smile appeared on her face.

"Have you satisfied your curiosity now?"

I know my eyebrows must have disappeared up behind my bangs and I saw her smile broaden.

"The CDs. Have you finished looking at the CDs?"

I could only nod mutely as she slowly rose from the chair, taking a few steps forward.

"Do you want to hear anything?"

I must have looked like one big question mark and I must admit I didnīt really feel capable of thinking straight at that moment, my entire body crying out for the girl who was standing so close, but still keeping her distance.

"Music. Do you want to listen to some music?"

"Do you?"

Terri seemed to contemplate the question for a moment, her eyes darting away from my face to her CDs. "I guess a bit of Loreena McKennitt wouldnīt hurt," she then mumbled, more to herself than to me. "Sheīs always good for creating a mood."

She knelt down and expert fingers immediately found the CD she was looking for. I watched Terri disappear under the table and had to smile at the picture of her longs legs peeking out while the rest of her was hidden beneath the tabletop, and I felt how the tension in my body began to ease. A low, caressing and haunting tune filled the room as Terri appeared again, almost jumping back up. Instead of saying anything, she closed her eyes and swayed gently to the music for a moment, her lips silently voicing the lyrics, before she opened up her eyes and focused on me again. A content, almost happy smile showed on her face and I stepped forward until out bodies were practically touching.

"Kiss me, Terri," I whispered quietly and she smiled again then leaned down to meet my lips.

When our lips met, I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body and I had to put my hands on her shoulders to steady myself. I felt her arms go round my waist and soon afterwards she deepened the kiss, gently teasing my lips with her tongue and I willingly opened my mouth to let her in. The arms around me tightened as she hungrily explored my mouth, leaving me both breathless and dizzy from desire. My body was responding to Terri and to Terriīs touch in a way I had never experienced before, in a way I hadnīt thought possible.

When she finally drew away to study my face, I felt her absence as an almost physical ache and I reached up to pull her head back down. She looked slightly surprised, but didnīt resist as I brought our faces together and kissed her, trying to communicate through that single kiss what kind of sensations she was creating in my heart and in my body. When we finally had to come up for air, we rested out foreheads against each other, both breathing shallow and fast.

"Whoa?" Terri murmured softly. "That was?something."

I could only smile and tightened my grip around her neck.

Yes, that was indeed something.

"Perhaps you should take this off."

She made a vague gesture that could imply anything from my jacket to my trousers, and I hesitantly started to unzip the first. She took a step back and tilted her head slightly, watching my every move. As the jacket fell to the floor and my hands slowly reached for the buttons of my blouse, I started to feel self-conscious again and even the dim light in Terriīs room felt like a spotlight focused directly on me.

The four buttons were soon history and I was very much aware that Terri now had a generous view of my cleavage, and I looked up nervously. She gave me an encouraging look, herself looking focused, but otherwise fully relaxed like she had complete strangers undress in her room on a regular basis, or maybe it was because she wasnīt the one stripping.

Shoes and nylons were next and then my hands went to the fly of my jeans where they lingered briefly before unzipping. I pushed the fabric down my hips and tried to appear casual as the cool air of the room engulfed my bare legs. As I stepped out of the jeans and bent down to pick them up, I could feel Terriīs gaze on me and instantly the chill room wasnīt a problem, my body creating enough heat to manage just fine on its own.

"Leave them," Terri spoke in a tone so husky, I almost didnīt recognize her voice, but I dropped the trousers and straightened up. As I stood before her, a virtual stranger, in only a blouse and panties, the part of my mind that hadnīt already gone out the window, tried to tell me it was not too late. That I could still pick up my clothes and leave and everything would turn back to normal, but the moment I met her eyes I knew I was lost. Even if I wanted to, I wouldnīt be able to walk away and some distant part of me whispered that my life would never be the same.

I allowed myself to fall into the dark blue depths of her eyes, and maybe she saw the surrender reflected in my own, maybe she knew victory was at hand. No matter what, she smiled slightly and I felt her gaze almost as a caress as it moved from my face to my blouse. I obeyed the silent request and the blouse joined the rest of the discarded clothes on the floor. When I dared to meet her eyes again, my breath caught as I saw desire there for the first time. The thought that Terri liked what she saw, that she desired me, my body, made me feel powerful in a way I never had before and it must have showed on my face, because Terri suddenly smiled.

"Beautiful," she said, her eyes never leaving my face.

It was all the encouragement I needed and with an ease that should have shocked me, but didnīt, I stripped the last two pieces of clothing from my body and stood in front of her naked. Terri sighed deeply as she took in the sight of my nude body and another smile appeared on her face.

"If youīre not careful, Iīll never let you out of here again."

"And that would be a bad thing?" I asked, suddenly feeling brave.

I could see my words startled her a little and for the briefest of seconds I saw her withdraw into herself and her eyes become distant, then she was back.

"Maybe not," she drawled and then without further ado or ceremony she stripped, and before I knew what had happened I was lying on the bed with my hands in her hair and my mouth eagerly tasting hers.

I had expected, I would be the one who couldnīt wait, the one who couldnīt slow down, but to my surprise, Terri seemed to be just as impatient as me, if not more and the way she tried to touch all of me at once, to claim me with hands, mouth and tongue all too soon pushed me over the edge and as my body fell spent and exhausted back on the bed, I gave her an embarrassed smile, feeling like I should apologize to her. But Terri just moved to lie down beside me and let out a contented sigh as she snuggled closer, resting her head on my shoulder while her right arm was possessively placed around my waist.

Within minutes she was asleep whereas I lay awake for hours, trying to come to grip with the events of the last twenty-four hours and with the fact that I was lying in the bed of a girl who had taken over my heart and soul without even having to try. As I kissed the dark head, still resting comfortably on my shoulder, I knew Iīd just given my heart away and a part of me wondered if one day, I would get it back and if I did, whether the damage done to it wouldnīt be too great to ever fully repair.

Episode 4

I woke the next morning by the sound of Terri turning off the shower just on the other side of the wall. I listened to her move around in the bathroom for a moment before I sat up on the bed, draping the covers over my nakedness.

The digital numbers on the VCR showed it was almost half past eleven and I was surprised I had managed to sleep for so long. Of course Iīd been through a rather vigorous workout the night before guided by an enthusiastic Terri, but sleeping for the first time in a strange place has always been difficult for me, and still is, except this time.

I decided not to think too much about it, but instead figure out what to do next. What was expected from me? Did Terri want me to get dressed and leave before she came out of the bathroom, or did she want me to stay? My heart knew exactly what it hoped the answer would be, and my inborn insecurity waged a great war against the part of me that couldnīt forget the way Terri had held me during the night.

I was just about to get up and collect my clothes from the floor when I heard the door to the bathroom open, and Terri came into the room followed by a big cloud of steam. Without really looking at me, she wedged herself between the desk and the bookcase, opening the blinds a little and then a window. She turned to look at me, leaning against the desk and the expression on her face was relaxed, if a little distanced and I didnīt know what to make out of it.

"Morning. Slept well?"

"Morning," I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "Yes, I slept great."

She nodded in acknowledgement then picked up a pen from the desk and started to swirl it between her fingers. Although I felt my heart protest violently, I came to the decision that I might as well find out where I stood. Whether Terri was only searching for a polite way to tell me to get lost, or if she just wasnīt much of a morning person.

"So? Now what?" It wasnīt the most eloquent approach, but it was all I could think of at that moment.

I could almost sense it as her attention returned to me and some of the distance in the blue gaze disappeared.

"Perhaps you should get dressed."

If she had plunged a knife into my heart it couldnīt have hurt more and I cursed myself inwardly as I reached down for my clothes, feeling my eyes tear up the moment my hair hid my face.

"And then perhaps we should get some breakfast or something."

I looked down at the floor just long enough for her to wonder and as I leaned up again, she looked at me curiously.

"You okay?"

There was a worry in her voice that caused my heart to dance in a way that would have made Ally McBeal jealous, and I know the smile that appeared on my face must have been blinding because her brow furrowed slightly and then she grinned.

"I hope youīre hungry, 'cos Iīm starving."

I nodded, not quite trusting my voice.

"I suppose you want to take a shower before we eat?"

By now I was in fully control of my voice again, "Yes."

She walked past me and out to the tiny corridor and I noticed for the first time two closets opposite the kitchen. Terri opened one of them and rummaged around inside.

"I got socks and underwear you can use." A tanned arm appeared and tossed the objects on the bed beside me. "I got a shirt too or a t-shirt if you want that instead. The shirt might be a little big for you, but you can always roll up the sleeves." This time a dark head appeared and looked at me questioningly.

"A shirt will be fine, thank you."

She disappeared into the closet again without a word before returning with a white cotton shirt. "Will this do?"

I nodded and stepped closer still with the covers around me, trying to read the discrete text on the shirtīs left pocket.

"When they discover the centre of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it," Terri read out loud when she noticed where I was looking. "A friend made this for me, she knew I liked the quotation."

I looked at her and smiled, "You would, wouldnīt you?"

She smirked a little and gently pushed me towards the bathroom. "Get moving, Iīm hungry."

I was just about to enter when a thought struck me and I stepped over to stand in the doorway to Terriīs room. She was sitting cross legged on the floor with a book, but looked up as she heard me approach.

I smiled a little sheepishly when the blue eyes met mine.

"You know? I donīt even know your surname?"

"Oh," she looked a little surprised. "Itīs Cavanagh, Teresa Cavanagh."

"Thank you," I grinned. "Thatīs always nice to know."

She raised an eyebrow then grinned herself. "Yeah, I guess."

She resumed her reading and I used the opportunity to just drink in the sight of her on the floor. She looked totally at ease and relaxed, dressed in faded blue jeans and grey t-shirt, the black hair still damp and slightly tousled and I had to stop myself from going over and wrap my arms around her, knowing if I did, I would never want to let go.

I have never showered and dressed so fast in my life.

Less than ten minutes later, we stepped out into the corridor and Terri got out her key to lock the door. She had informed me that she didnīt have any food in the house and that her eating habits might be a little unusual, but suggested we went out for breakfast somewhere or buy something and bring it back. I had asked her what she wanted and she had scratched her cheek and told me she felt like having tacos.

"Tacos? For breakfast?"

"Uh huh."

"Youīre kidding, right?"

"No, I like tacos and I feel like having some now, but of course if you want something else thatīs okay. Iīm flexible."

She had looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes and soon I found myself walking down the corridor behind her on the way to get some tacos. Just before we reached the lift, I heard a door open and a voice call out.

"Terri!"

Terri turned slowly, "Yeah?"

The voice belonged to a girl with fiery red hair and a pretty smile. She looked like she had just gotten out of bed and stifled a yawn before speaking again.

"I thought I heard you come out." She stepped a little closer and came to a halt just next to me, her eyes still on Terri. "Where were you last night? We waited for almost an hour."

"No, you didnīt," she smirked. "Ten minutes maybe, but not an hour."

"Hahaha," the red-haired girl replied in a teasing, but friendly voice. "Thatīs not the point. The point is we did wait for you. You said youīd be there."

"No, I didnīt. I said I might be there."

The girl tilted her head, looked at Terri then sighed good-naturedly. "Whatever you say, Terri, whatever you say." Then for the first time she turned her attention to me and gave me an odd smile. "I donīt believe weīve met."

Terri raised her hand and gestured carelessly from the redhead to me, "Alison, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Alison."

The girl smiled again, but the expression in her eyes didnīt quite match the smile. "Nice to meet you, Sarah. Youīre Terriīs latest friend?"

I heard Terri inhale sharply behind me, but before she could speak, I smiled and said pleasantly, "No, Terriīs my latest friend." For a moment Alison looked puzzled, then she gave me another sweet smile, "Nice shirt. Terriīs got one just like it."

"Itīs a small world," Terri drawled from behind us. "Come on, letīs go. Iīm hungry."

I gave Alison a brief nod then turned to meet up with Terri who was waiting in front of the lift.

"Terri?" It was the redhead again.

"Yes?" The impatience in Terriīs voice was clear, but apparently the girl was used to it and she didnīt seem put off.

"Dean wanted me to tell you that the party starts at eight tonight."

"I know," Terri replied and opened the door to the lift. "I think heīs managed to tell me that about ten times already."

"Well, he just wants you to be there, thatīs all." Alison leaned against the wall next to her door. "You are gonna be there, arenīt you?"

"Yeah, sure. I told him I would."

"Good." I could hear the smile in Alisonīs voice even without seeing it. "Iīll see you tonight then."

As the doors closed behind us, I looked at Terri, "Donīt you want to go?"

She shrugged and muttered something I couldnīt decipher. We exited the lift and Terri made a brief detour to her mailbox to see if anything interesting had arrived, before we headed outside.

"You still up for tacos?"

"Yes," I grinned. "I might as well live a little on the wild side today."

"Okay, tacos it is then," she said and started to walk down the road. "I know this place thatīs quite good and itīs not so expensive so lots of students go there."

I caught up with her, "Donīt think about that, Terri. Itīs my turn to pay, remember?"

She stopped and looked at me. "Yeah, I know but?"

"But what?"

"Well?" She seemed suddenly uncomfortable. "I mean, you stayed at my place last night, youīre?youīre kinda my guest and that makes me your host?" She faltered as if that explained everything.

I had to control a strong urge not to just jump into her arms and kiss her senseless, thatīs how cute she looked, but I stopped myself and just smiled, "Your guest, huh?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay, tell you what. Youīll be my host for now, but then you got to give me an opportunity to make it up to you sometime."

It wasnīt exactly subtle, but it wasnīt direct either. In one sentence, I had just told Terri that I wanted to see her again and that I would leave it up to her to decide if it was going to happen. She looked away, a gesture I by now knew meant she needed to think.

"Make it up to me, you say?" She spoke slowly and returned her gaze to me. "Do you have anything in mind?"

I let out a breath, I didnīt know I had been holding, "Dinner, my place, Sunday. Does that sound fair?"

"Hmm," Terri smirked. "That depends on what you serve."

"Iīm a great cook, I can tell you. Iīve never had any complaints before."

She looked into my eyes for a long time and I let her, somehow knowing she was searching for something and desperately hoping that whatever she found, it would be to her liking.

"Well?in that case..." She drew out the words and then a smile appeared on her face. "Besides Iīm a student and a student never turns down a free meal. Iīd be kicked out of university if they heard."

"Well, we wouldnīt want that, would we?" I replied as we started to walk down the road again.

After a quiet, but comfortable breakfast of tacos and milk, (Terri hadnīt been kidding when she said she had unusual eating habits) she walked me back to my car.

I took my time finding my keys, trying to postpone my departure for as long as possible. I knew in my heart that from the moment I stepped into my car to the moment I saw her again on Sunday, the only thing on my mind would be Terri. What she was doing, what she was thinking, who she was with and whether she felt the same way about me as I felt about her.

And how do you feel? The annoying little voice in my head asked. I ignored it and finally held the right key in my hand. Terri had been standing quietly a few steps away while she waited for me to get ready and as I looked up, I couldnīt read the expression on her face. I wondered if it would be okay to kiss her. She hadnīt kissed me or touched me in any way the entire morning, or made any other indication that we were anything more than friends and not two people who had made passionately love just the night before.

As I looked at her, I felt more confused that I had before in my entire life. Terri was one walking contradiction and I had no idea of what I was to her in that moment. What we were or werenīt to each other. One minute she would give me a gentle, almost affectionate smile that would make my heart melt, the next she would be lost in thought and withdraw from me for no apparent reason, hardly acknowledging my presence. I had noticed several times during breakfast that she simply wasnīt there, that her eyes were distant, almost unfocused and not until I had spoken her name three times or more, she would return and give me another enigmatic smile.

The thoughts must have been reflected on my face because she suddenly frowned.

"You okay? You seemed a little distant there for a moment."

I had to smile at her remark. "No, Iīm fine, just thinking."

"Oh, okay?" She relaxed again, her gaze not directly on my face, but not quite away either.

"Wait?before I forget." I opened my purse and took out a small notebook. "Youīll need to know my address."

"Yeah, that probably wouldnīt hurt."

She stepped closer and looked over my shoulder as I quickly wrote down my address on an empty page, before tearing it off and handing it to Terri who took it, and without looking at it put it into her pocket, then stepped away again.

"Iīll wash your shirt and your other clothes when I get home so theyīll be ready for you on Sunday."

"Sure, no hurry," she said. I wonīt be running out of things to wear right away."

We stood in front of each other in silence for a few seconds.

"So? 7:30, my place, Sunday?"

"Iīll be there."

We fell silent again, but before it could become awkward, Terri suddenly closed the distance between us and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek before moving away again just as swiftly. She then smiled briefly and turned around to walk away.

"Terri?"

She turned to face me again, "Yes?"

"Do you really think you can leave me like that?"

"What?" She looked genuinely concerned that she might have offended me. "What do you mean?"

"This." I stepped over to her and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulled her head down and kissed her hungrily. I felt her stiffen for just a second then she relaxed and returned my kiss with equal passion. When I finally released her, I could see both amusement and desire in the blue eyes.

"Isnīt this way better?" I asked, feeling rather flushed and out of breath myself.

"Oh yeah," she grinned, "much better. A girl could get used to this."

I reached up and touched her cheek, "Iīd hope so." Then I gave her a quick kiss on the mouth and practically jumped into my car, not daring to look at her. Shortly afterwards as I looked into the rear-view mirror, driving down the road, I saw Terri standing on the same spot where Iīd left her, her hand touching her cheek and an unreadable expression on her face.

Episode 5

I was feeling so full of energy that I actually took the stairs instead of the lift to my apartment, and it wasnīt till I turned the corner and was met with the sight of a fuming best friend waiting outside my door that some of the cheerfulness left me.

"Oh shit!"

Paige gave me her most sarcastic smile, "Oh shit? Is that all you have to say, Sarah? I waited for you at Labelleīs for forty-five minutes and then when you didnīt answer your phone either, I rushed over here wondering whether you lay dead in the bathroom or something else that would qualify as an acceptable excuse." She stepped aside so I could unlock my door. "Obviously you arenīt dead so it better be good whatever it was that kept you away this morning."

She followed me into the apartment and kicked the door shut with her heel, crossed her arms and looked at me expectantly.

"Well??"

Paige and I had known each other for about three years. We met when one of the lawyers in my firm was handling her divorce and we quickly became friends, and every Saturday morning whenever possible we would meet at Labelleīs for brunch and then a bit of mindless shopping afterwards.

As I sank down on a kitchen chair and kicked off my shoes, I could feel her accusing gaze on me, but I didnīt take it too seriously. Paige had always loved to be melodramatic and tended to exaggerate everything, but she always returned to her usual friendly self pretty fast and I donīt think I had ever seen her really upset. This time wasnīt an exception as she suddenly stepped closer, an intrigued look on her face.

"Thatīs not your shirt," she stated and looked at me suspiciously. "I know your entire wardrobe and that oneīs not yours."

Slowly a big grin showed on her face and before I could say or do anything, she walked over and looked into the plastic bag I had carelessly put on the kitchen table. She triumphantly pulled out my blouse and bra and showed them to me.

"Well, well, well? What do we have here?"

Her grin broadened as I made a futile attempt to get the pieces of clothing back from her, "Paige, donīt be silly. I?" I stopped, suddenly realizing I didnīt know what to say.

Her brown eyes twinkled as she graciously put the clothes back into the back and then made herself comfortable on the kitchen table. She leaned closer and studied my face and I was helpless to stop a blush which only caused her to laugh out loud.

"So thatīs what was so important that you forgot our date this morning. You had sex last night, you lucky devil!" She gave me a teasing smile. "In that case youīre forgiven, but only because I have no life of my own. I want all the details! Tell me everything or I might have to reconsider my forgiveness."

"Well?" I squirmed under her close scrutiny, but couldnīt help being affected by her mood, and besides, I was feeling a strong urge to tell the entire world about this fantastic thing that had happened to me. I was about to speak when the mischievous look on Paigeīs face suddenly faded and she looked almost hurt.

"Why havenīt you mentioned that you were seeing someone? I always tell you all about my dates. Okay, I admit theyīre horrible most of them, but I still tell you about them."

"Oh, itīs not like that, Paige," I hurried to say. "You know I wouldnīt keep something like that from you. Itīs just, well?" I gave her a smile. "This is rather new to me, too."

She looked a little doubtful, "How new?"

I blushed, "Well? We? we met? um? yesterday."

"What?" Paiged asked incredulously. "You jumped into bed with someone youīd only known for a day?"

"Hey," I said indignantly. "Iīm a grown woman, I can do what I want."

Paige was still looking slightly stunned, but she reached out and squeezed my hand. "Iīm not questioning your virtue, Sarah, far from it. I mean, itīs not like I havenīt done that myself, but thatīs exactly the point. Iīm the kind of person who does stuff like that and youīre?youīre?"

"Yeees?" I said, giving her a see-if-you-can-get-yourself-out-of-this-one look.

"Not," she finished meekly then shook her head. "Wow, this guy must be quite something to blow you off your feet like that. This calls for a celebration."

She jumped off the kitchen table and fetched two glasses, then looked inside the fridge. "No white wine?"

"Second shelve, but Paige I think you should-"

"I know, I know," she interrupted, "itīs way too early for wine and your neighbours would be horrified if they knew, but?" She returned to the kitchen table and sat down on a chair beside me, "This is a special occasion and besides, if I get you drunk itīll be easier to get all the juicy details."

She filled the glasses and gave me an encouraging look. "So spill it!"

"Well?"

"No! Wait, wait! First we have to make a toast." She adapted a serious expression and raised her glass, "To?being swept off oneīs feet!"

"To being swept off oneīs feet," I repeated dutifully.

"And to great sex!"

"Paige!"

"Well," she smirked. "Am I wrong about that part?"

I could only give her a silly grin and she grinned wickedly in return, then turned slightly more serious.

"Okay, now you got to tell me everything."

She looked at me expectantly, but I was suddenly overwhelmed by the entire situation and my own feelings and could only look at her helplessly. For a moment she looked at me strangely, then she gave me a sympathetic smile. "Iīll ask, you answer. Okay?"

I nodded gratefully.

She rolled up her sleeves as if preparing for a boxing match and started to roll her head back and forth to loosen up her muscles.

"Paigeeeee?"

"Okay, okay," she grinned. "I just had to warm up. Itīs not everyday that my best friend comes home and tells me sheīs spent the night with a total stranger. I didnīt want to strain anything." She grinned again, "Okay, Iīll be serious. So, whatīs the name of this superhuman who managed to break through your defences so easily?"

"Terri, Terri Cavanagh."

"Terri Cavanagh, " she repeated. "Well that sounds nice enough. Where did you meet?"

I paused, knowing what Paige would ask next. "We met in a bar, the Stage to be exact."

"The Stage?" She frowned. "But isnīt that a-"

"Terriīs a girl, Paige. Her real nameīs Teresa."

"Oh?" Paige stared at me for a moment then looked away. "I see?" She took a big gulp from her glass.

We were silent for a few minutes.

"Are you shocked?" I asked quietly.

"No? no." She looked back at me and gave me a little smile. "No, Iīm just? surprised, thatīs all. I mean, I know you said you liked women once, but we were both drunk so I didnīt really take it seriously."

I smiled, not knowing what else to do. "I was serious, Paige. Iīm sorry that I didnīt make it more clear, but you know me, Iīve never been very comfortable talking about my personal life and I didnīt think... I mean, at that time I had more or less decided that I liked being single and independent." I gave her another pale smile. "I never thought it would become an issue, I never thought Iīd be attracted enough to someone, be it a man or a woman, that I would? would?"

A look of understanding crossed Paigeīs face. "You really got it bad, donīt you?"

"Yes, itīs so?so? Iīve never felt this way before," I almost whispered. "I didnīt know it could be like this."

Paige reached out and took my hand, "Iīm happy for you, Sarah. I really am. The look on your face right now is enough to make me jealous. This Terri, she must be very special to make you feel like this."

"She is." I looked into my best friendīs brown eyes and saw nothing but affection mixed concern. "So this? I mean, it doesnīt change anything between us, does it?"

"Hey," Paige smiled. "What do you take me for? Youīre my friend no matter who you have in your bed." She pointed a finger at me, "As long as it isnīt George Clooney because heīs spoken for already."

"Oh," I returned her smile, feeling both happy and relieved. "Does he know that?"

"Not yet, but he will." She became serious and raised her glass. "To you, Sarah, and your happiness."

We touched glasses.

"And I hope Terri knows how lucky she is or Iīll personally have to go kick her arse."

"I hope so too," I said quietly and finished my wine.

I spent the rest of the day being grilled by Paige about every little detail, and then spent most of the night fretting over what to make for dinner the next evening. I felt reasonably sure that Terri could eat almost anything, but I desperately wanted to make something special and original, and only just managed to stop myself from calling my grandmother and ask for a recipe.

Surprisingly enough, the hours until Terri should arrive passed quickly, but being on the phone for two hours with Paige telling her not to drop by unexpectedly Sunday night to see for herself what all the fuss was about, and the time I spent going through my closet to find out what to wear might have had something to do with that.

When my watch showed 7:45 p.m., I had to force myself not to open my door and stare down the hallway to see if Terri was on her way. I knew I was being silly and was also quite surprised about my own reaction, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I was feeling like a teenager going through her first crush and in a way I was. I have always been a rather balanced and calm person, but in the last twenty-four hours I had had more mood swings than a woman in her menopause, feeling deliriously happy one moment, fantasizing about a future with Terri and in the next I would be full of doubt and insecurity, cursing myself for believing that Terri would even show up. Nobody had ever affected me like this before and if that wasnīt enough to tell me how bad I had it, the triple somersault my heart made the moment the doorbell rang was proof enough.

I straightened the pretty, but not too classy skirt I had decided to wear, took a deep breath and opened the door. Terri was standing a few steps away from my doorway, looking a little hesitant.

"Hi," she smiled briefly. "Sorry, Iīm late. Something came up."

"Hey, no problem." I stepped aside and she walked inside. "Iīm just glad you made it."

She took off her leather jacket then looked at her shoes. "Want me to take these off?"

"No, keep them on."

As she turned around to put her jacket on a hanger, I shamelessly used the opportunity to study the tight white t-shirt she was wearing that didnīt leave much to the imagination, and the black jeans that seemed to be painted on her.

"Hope I didnīt spoil dinner."

"Oh, uh, no," I replied and managed not to blush in spite of the fact that Terri had turned around again and must have caught me staring. "Itīs still in the oven. Why donīt you make yourself comfortable and Iīll check on things in the kitchen."

"Okay."

She walked left into the living room and I went right into the kitchen. The dinner was just about ready and I used the last couple of minutes to drink a glass of wine to steady my nerves, before heading into the living room with the food. Terri was standing over by my desk, looking at the photographs placed there as she heard me come in.

"Need a hand?"

"No." I put the dish down on the already laid table and lit two candles. "I got it all covered. Hope youīre hungry."

"Always." Terri stepped closer and sniffed the air. "That smells good. What is it?"

"Trout." I turned to look at her. "You do like fish, donīt you?"

"Oh yeah," she grinned. "Love it."

We sat down at the table and I started to pour the wine.

"I like fishing, too."

"Oh?" I said and handed her a glass.

"Yeah, I used to go out fishing with my dad when I was younger. We would be gone for hours and most times we didnīt catch that much, but it was fun nonetheless." She took a sip of her wine and licked her lips appreciatively, "Ah, thatīs nice. Much better that the vinegar Iīm usually served."

We started to eat and little by little, Terri appeared to be more at ease and became less monosyllabic, and she readily answered all the questions I had in my overwhelming desire to know more about her.

"So youīre not raised in the city?"

"Nah, I was born in a very, and I mean, very, little town that wonīt mean a thing to you if I say its name. I moved to the city to study the moment I got the chance."

"Didnīt you like it there?"

"Sure, it was an okay place to grow up. Lots of kids to play with, lots of nature and so, but when you got older you found out that there really wasnīt anything to do." She took another bite, "This is good. You were right, you are a good cook."

I smiled at the compliment, but wasnīt about to abandon my quest for knowledge so soon. "And your parents? Do they still live there?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. "My mumīs got a medical practice there and my dad works in a hospital about 25 miles away."

"I take it theyīre both doctors?"

"Yes," she grinned. "And to make it even worse my older brother is studying medicine as well. So much for creativity, but then again, my brother has never been a very imaginative person, so I guess it makes sense in the end."

"In contrast to you, I suppose?"

Blue eyes looked into mine for a moment then Terri smiled a little, "Yeah, you could say that."

She seemed to drift off for a moment, lost in thoughts or memories, but only for a couple of seconds.

"So?my turn to play twenty questions. I know youīre a lawyer and your dadīs a lawyer too, but thatīs it." She pushed her empty plate away and refilled our glasses. "Tell me something about yourself, Sarah."

She leaned back in her chair and waited for me to begin. The wine was starting to affect me which was why I dared to say the thing I did, "I like the way you say my name. You make it sound so?so sensuous, like a caress."

"Oh?" Terri grinned a little and I think she might even have blushed, but she recovered quickly. "Well, thatīs? thatīs good I hope."

"Oh yes," I gave her suggestive smile. "Very good."

As I looked into her eyes, I felt my pulse quicken and suddenly the relaxed dinner atmosphere had become quite tense, then Terri broke eye contact and I started to breathe normally again.

"So? Now I know you like the way I say your name." She returned her gaze to me, "Anything else I should know?"

"Oh well, there isnīt much to tell really. I was born in the suburbs, my father is a lawyer as you know, my mother is librarian. I have a younger sister whoīs married and has one daughter whoīs absolutely adorable. Hmm?" I searched my mind. "I think thatīs sort of it."

Terri looked at me, "Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure," I replied, sounding more confident than I felt. "I wonīt have to answer it, will I?"

"No," she smiled briefly. "You donīt have to."

She drank some more wine and by the way she fidgeted with her glass I realized she was nervous. The sight released a wave of mixed emotions inside of me. One part being glad that Terri wasnīt so cool about the entire situation as she appeared to be, and the other part was worried that I might not like the reason why she was feeling nervous.

"Umm?" She stared at the wine in her glass. "Itīs all very nice, the dinner and everything and I was wondering?"

"Yes?" I asked and swallowed lightly. "You were wondering??"

"Well," she still wouldnīt look at me. "I was wondering if that meant that you might, I donīt know, maybe wanted to?"

"Yes, Terri?" I spoke softly and finally she looked up and met my eyes.

"That you might wanted to meet again sometime?"

I was unable to stop myself from asking the next question, "Would you like to meet again, Terri?"

As I looked into the blue eyes, I saw how the nervousness disappeared and was replaced by a confident, almost daring expression, "Yes, I would." Her voice was just as daring as the look in her eyes.

"Well then," I stood up. "In that case Iīll have to inform you," I stepped around the table and stopped in front of her. "That that can most certainly be?" I took her hand and pulled her up to stand beside me. "Arranged."

"Oh?" Was all she managed to say before I pulled her down for a kiss.

Continued in Part 2.



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