Author's Note: So far I have written this story in episodes and only posted them on my own site, but since I occasionally have had problems with it, I decided to post this story other places as well. However, here I´ll wait until I have material enough for 5 episodes before posting, so if you think it´s too long between updates, check out my own site where I´m posting an episode as soon as it´s been written. Which doesn´t mean it can´t take some time now and then, I might add. <s> Before I forget, there´ll be both sex and hurt feelings in this one.

Comments are welcome at: dayze11@hotmail.com

Copyright (c) 1999 by Day

Part 5

Episode 21

The rest of that night and most of the following day was spent in the living room, being sociable and talking to the arriving relatives. Not that they were that many, only four actually, but the mood grew decidedly boisterous and even Terri seemed to be having a good time talking to her uncle Sean, a quiet and friendly man whom I later learned was Jason´s father. Then there was his wife, Alice, who was Fiona´s sister, and the siblings were pretty similar in manner and temperament, both talkative and energetic, smiling to left and right when they walked through the rooms serving whatever they had produced in the kitchen.

Terri´s paternal grandparents were the last to arrive, both very reminiscent of their son and it was clear to me that Terri was very fond of them and she immediately dragged me over so I could meet them. They greeted me with a friendly smile and we spent the next few hours talking about this and that with Terri sitting quietly next to me, occasionally nodding or answering a direct question, but otherwise she remained silent, the expression on her face unusually relaxed and content.

I was feeling pretty good myself, enjoying the laughter and the pleasant atmosphere, and I came to the conclusion that going home with Terri had been the right thing to do after all, in spite of my own parents´ objections.

Thinking that thought suddenly made me remember I had promised to call and wish them a Merry Christmas, so I excused myself and Terri´s father directed me to his office where there was a phone I could use without having to shout in order to drown out the noise of talking people and "White Christmas" on the radio.

Dialling the number, the phone didn´t ring more than once before my father picked up.

"Kenneth Kingston speaking."

"Hi, Dad," I said warmly, surprised by the joy I felt from just hearing his voice. "It´s me."

"Hi, sweetie," my father responded just enthusiastically. "Glad you called, we were just about to go to dinner."

I could hear my sister speak in the background and hear my mother say something in return and suddenly I couldn´t help but feel just a little homesick.

"So, how are things?" My father´s voice interrupted any further brooding and I shrugged although he couldn´t see it. "Oh, just fine. Terri´s parents are very nice and so is the rest of the family. I´ve just spent the last two hours talking with her grandparents without ever having to bring up the weather to fill out the gaps."

"Well, isn´t that nice," my father chuckled. "I´m glad you´re enjoying yourself." He paused for a second, "That doesn´t mean you´re not missed here, though."

"I know, Dad," I sighed, absently studying the various folders and files on Patrick´s desk. "It´s just Terri asked and-."

"Hey," he interrupted gently, just in time to prevent me from building up too big a guilt complex, "don´t worry about it, sweetheart. You´re a grown woman, you´re entitled to spend Christmas wherever and with whomever you want. I just wanted to remind you that you´re always welcome here, Ellie misses her favourite aunt, you know."

"I´m her only aunt," I laughed. "I´d better be her favourite. Give her a big kiss from me and tell her I miss her, too."

"I will. Everybody here says hi by the way."

"Tell them hi back from me."

We were silent for a moment, both thinking of something to say. My father broke the silence first, "So, how is Terri?"

I hesitated for just a second before answering, "She´s fine."

I had meant to say more, but suddenly I realized that I didn´t know what and I was only too aware of the long silence that followed. Clearing his throat, my father spoke softly, "She seems like a nice young woman. I enjoyed talking to her the last time."

My heart skipped a beat and my mouth suddenly felt very dry. It wasn´t so much the seemingly innocent comment that startled me, it was the way he had spoken it and I didn´t know what to make of it. The fact that I couldn´t see his face only made it worse.

Then, so quietly that I almost didn´t hear it, my father asked, his voice completely even and calm, "When were you going to tell me?"

This time my heart didn´t just skip a beat, it stopped beating altogether as all sorts of emotions rushed through me. "What do you mean?" I swallowed subconsciously, my brain frantically trying to come up with other reasons for his question than the one I suspected it to be. The one it had be. "When was I going to tell you what?"

I could hear my father inhale and then exhale slowly, "The truth about Terri."

By now I knew it was over, but for some peculiar reason, I wasn´t ready to admit it to myself and just repeated, "What do you mean? What truth?"

My father didn´t answer right away and I could almost feel him think. He still had the opportunity to back down. He could change the subject and we could both go on pretending that nothing had changed, that everything was like it had always been. Even though we both knew differently.

"She´s not just your friend, is she? She´s your girlfriend, your lover, or whatever it´s called. Isn´t she?"

Finally, the moment I had waited for, and dreaded, my entire adult life had arrived and all I could do was to tighten my grip around the receiver, unable to form a single sentence.

"Sarah?" My father´s voice gradually penetrated the haze in my mind. "Sarah, are you there?"

For the briefest of seconds I considered denying what he had said. Considered feigning complete incomprehension. Considered laughing and telling him he was crazy, but one by one I discarded any other solutions but the truth.

"How did you know?" I was surprised by how controlled and composed my voice sounded.

"I know you, Sarah. I know you a lot better than you probably think."

"Did Emma tell you?"

"Emma?" This time it was my father´s turn to be surprised. "Emma knows about this? And no, she hasn´t said anything… Emma? Emma knows?"

"Yeah," I collapsed down onto the chair in front of the desk. "She came by one night, Terri was there."

"Oh…"

We were silent again and I suspect we were both trying to find something to say. Something that would make this slightly awkward moment pass.

"Sarah…" I had expected my father to be the first to speak and he didn´t disappoint me. "I… I don´t want to get into this over the phone, especially not now, but I think it´s something we´ll have to talk about face to face. You, me and your mother." He must have heard me sigh deeply because he added gently before I had the time to speak myself, "I´ll break the news to her, Sarah. Don´t worry about it. It´ll give her some time to get used to the idea and when you´re back again, we´ll sit down and have a talk. We´ll work it out, sweetie, your parents are not completely ignorant of the ways of the world."

"I never thought you were," I said quietly. "I just didn´t… well, I just didn´t know how you would react. I didn´t want to upset you."

"That´s what children are for, Sarah, upsetting their parents," my father spoke, his voice sounding tired but warm. "It´s all going to be fine, I promise you."

We talked a little more, but the conversation was strained and hesitant, both of us thinking of other things and we soon said our goodbyes. After I had put the receiver down, it took me almost twenty minutes before I had gathered myself sufficiently to get up and leave the office. I headed directly for the bathroom, needing a bit of complete privacy to digest everything and to figure out what I thought of the sudden turn my life had taken. However, the guest bathroom was occupied so instead I went into the main bathroom, locking the door before sinking down onto the cool and hard edge of the tub.

With thoughts ranging from the ridiculous to the extreme, I stared blankly into the large mirror above the two sinks. So, finally, after years of pretending, ignoring, hiding and fretting - the cat had at last been let out of the bag. It was actually quite funny, at least I tried to persuade myself it was. My father hadn´t seemed too shocked, maybe a little surprised by having something confirmed that he had expected, but still didn´t quite believe possible, but not shocked.

Of course, knowing him, he wouldn´t say so even if he were.

My mother on the other hand…

Instantly, the thought of my mother´s reaction made me feel like an embarrassed and repentant fourteen-year-old having been caught smoking out of the window, and, out of nowhere, a dull, throbbing pain in the back of my head announced the beginnings of a headache.

Getting to my feet, I absently scanned the room for some kind of medicine cabinet that might contain aspirins, while the majority of my thoughts was focused on what was going to happen next. Would my parents pretend that nothing had changed? Would they be awkward or forced around me? Would they acknowledge Terri for what she was, or never mention her name?

There were so many possibilities to contemplate and my overactive imagination had already conjured up one too many unpleasant scenarios that I simply forced myself to stop. I wasn´t going to let worrying ruin my time here; especially since there was so much to be happy about.

Terri had said she loved me.

Granted, she had said it in a rather, well, emotional moment, but she had said it, and I had no reason to doubt her. And, surprising even myself, I didn´t.

Not once had I considered whether she had been sincere or just caught up in the moment. The look in her eyes when she told me, and her reaction afterwards when I didn´t return the sentiment right away, had spoken louder than any words could how serious she had been.

That thought alone was enough to make me smile broadly and all thoughts about parents and worst case scenarios momentarily left my mind. Terri loved me!

Smiling happily to no one but myself, I finally spotted something that looked like a medicine cabinet and without even pausing to consider whether it was the polite thing to do, I opened it.

Inside was enough anti-depressive medicine, including Prozac and several stronger remedies, to feed an army. An army of self-destructive, manic-depressive suicidal people.

For a long time I just stared at the many bottles containing pills of all sizes and colours, then I practically slammed the cabinet door shut, feeling very guilty as if I had intruded somewhere I had no right. Which I probably had.

Feeling almost like I was fleeing the scene of a crime, I hurried outside and somehow ended up inside Terri´s room where I collapsed down onto the bed. Those had been prescription medicine and the name on the labels had been Fiona Cavanagh. Terri´s mother was apparently taking anti-depressive medicine on a daily basis. Strong anti-depressive medicine to be exact.

I knew it was none of my business, but I simply couldn´t stop myself from wondering for how long it had been going on, and how serious it might be. Judging from the labels-

"Oh, hey, Sarah! So this is where you´ve been hiding, I´ve been looking for you. Dinner´s just about ready."

Startled, I managed to refrain from stiffening too much and just turned my head to give Terri´s father what I hoped was a warm and innocent smile, "Ah, that sounds good. I´m starving."

"Ah, that´s good. Fiona and my sister-in-law have been sweating over the stove all day."

"I know," I smiled again, recalling certain culinary "discussions" coming from the kitchen, and Fiona telling Terri to stop eating the Christmas tree decorations or she would have no appetite left for later.

Before I could say anything else, Patrick surprised me by going over to close the door, turning around to look at me almost apologetically, "Sarah, while I have the chance," he paused, indecision showing clearly on his face. "Well, I just want to say that… that Fiona and I are both glad to have you here." He trailed off once more before finishing awkwardly, "Terri´s clearly very fond of you and it´s easy to see why."

I was silent for a moment, considering how to respond, but then I decided to just accept the compliment and leave it at that. "Thank you. And it´s mutual, I´m very fond of Terri, too."

He gave me a tentative smile, "Yes, I can see that." He hesitated then spoke slowly, almost as if he wasn´t sure whether he should speak at all, "Terri is my daughter, and I love her, but that doesn´t mean I´m blind to the fact that she can be a bit, well… difficult occasionally. She´s very introvert by nature, always has been, and usually prefers to be on her own, but with you…" He looked intensely at me, "With you it seems as if she´s opening up a little, and I´m really happy to see that." It´s… it´s not good for her always to be alone, living in her own world. She needs to be around people from time to time. Whether she wants to or not."

"Terri often prefers solitude," I said eventually, after having struggled with my conscience that somehow felt we shouldn´t be having this conversation behind Terri´s back. But he was her father after all, and had known her a lot longer than I. "There´s nothing wrong with that."

"No," Patrick acknowledged and I thought I spotted several conflicting emotions cross his face. "Not as long as you don´t prefer your own world to the real one. Sometimes it seems a lot easier to live in…" he faltered, giving me a faint smile. "Terri has always had a lot of imagination. She could spend days thinking and daydreaming about some book she´d read." He smiled again, this time more to himself than to me, "I still remember the time when Terri was eight and Alan told her a horror story, and she ended up not being able to sleep for days. She was afraid to close her eyes, but too embarrassed to let us know she had been frightened and we didn´t hear of it until much later. Alan, of course, thought it was hilarious, and I had to tell him not to do it again."

He suddenly walked over to a bookcase and after a bit of rummaging pulled out an old notebook. Holding it almost reverently he said, "These are stories Terri wrote when she was fourteen-fifteen. Did you know that? That she likes to write?"

I nodded. Terri had mentioned briefly when we first began seeing each other that she enjoyed writing, and I knew she still did whenever she had the time, but she had never spoken of anything since, or showed me something she was working on. Actually, she seemed to be rather embarrassed by the whole thing.

"She´s good," Patrick stated with obvious paternal pride. "All her teachers said so. She just doesn´t want to let us read anything." Very familiar blue eyes turned to me, "I thought that perhaps…?"

"No," I shook my head lightly. "I´ve never read anything either. I don´t think she wants me to."

Her father sighed, putting the notebook back on the shelf, "I didn´t think so. I just hoped that maybe… Oh well, I´m sure she´d show us if she deemed it important." He straightened up imperceptibly and walked to the door, "Well, let´s see if dinner´s ready, shall we?"

We had a nice and, to be awfully cliché, good old-fashioned Christmas dinner with so much food that we could have fed the entire population of the third world. Well, almost anyway. I did manage to feel a bit guilty about that, and just generally disgusted with myself for eating so much, but since everybody was doing the same and spirits were high, I quickly forgot about it.

Wine flowed freely and in great amounts, and the laughter and the talking became both loud and boisterous so I also managed to forget everything about anti-depressives and paternal talks - especially since the wine had made Terri lose some of her inhibitions, causing her to casually run her hand up and down my thigh, albeit under the table, whenever she felt like it. I was drunk enough to enjoy the attention, but still sober enough to worry about the distracting effect it was having on my thoughts, not to mention, body.

Later that night, Terri pulled me aside and we discretely retreated into her father´s office. There we spent a few minutes kissing with ever increasing passion before Terri finally pulled away.

"So…" she began hesitantly. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Very much," I gave her a slightly lewd smile and was thrilled to discover a faint blush colour her cheeks.

"That´s not what I meant," she said sternly, but I could tell she was pleased by my words. "I meant are you enjoying being here? With me?" she added softly, not quite looking at me.

I reached up to touch her face, making her meet my eyes, "I am, Terri, very much so. I think you have a nice family, and even if you didn´t, it wouldn´t matter as long as you´re here with me."

Terri beamed at me and then pulled me into her arms. Holding me tightly, she whispered, "I´m glad you´re here with me, too. It´s given my parents something other than me to concentrate on. I think they really like you."

That pleased me more than I had ever thought possible and I was just about to reply, when a sharp, somewhat frantic, voice sounded from outside; "Terri? Sarah? Are you in there?"

I could feel Terri stiffen, but she didn´t loosen her hold on me, "We´ll be right out, Mum. I just needed to talk to Sarah in private."

For a long time there was silence, then, "Oh… okay, but don´t be too long, Terri. People are getting ready to leave and I want you to say goodbye to them first. It wouldn´t be polite if you didn´t."

"Okay, Mum." Terri´s voice suddenly sounded very tired. "I´ll be right there."

For a moment I felt like everybody was holding their breaths, waiting. Me in Terri´s arms, Fiona outside the door, wanting us to come out, and Terri, waiting for her mother to leave before doing so. I don´t know how much time passed with the three of us standing like this, just waiting for the other to move, but then we heard Terri´s father call out for his wife and, after a brief hesitation, she left. However, not before she had rather urgently told Terri to come and say goodbye to her family.

When we couldn´t hear her steps anymore, Terri released me and exhaling slowly sank down onto a chair. Feeling my gaze upon her, she slowly looked up and said resignedly, "I don´t know how she does it. I´m not a kid anymore, it shouldn´t affect me like this, but every time she does something like that, every time when it´s all the stuff she doesn´t say that´s important, she manages to make me feel really bad. Bad about myself. I hate that!" Terri abruptly slammed her first into the nearest wall and I flinched in shock. "Why the fuck does she have to do that?! Why can´t she just leave me alone?!"

I stood helplessly watching this sudden explosion of rage, feelings I suspected had less to do with what had just occurred and more to do with previous hurts and confrontations.

"She´s just so damned good at it, you know." Terri stared at the wall and then her fist where a bruise was already forming. "She always makes those fucking innocent remarks, and she knows it gets to me! She knows it! Even though she pretends she doesn´t and Dad… Dad, he always takes her side. He never tells her to leave me alone, even when she´s having one of her bad days, he just tells me to be patient and understanding. That´s not fucking fair!"

Terri raised her head to stare at me, her eyes wide open and wild. "It´s not fair, is it?" Her voice had turned into a pleading whisper and all the rage had left her.

Shocked and bewildered, I could only manage a low, "No, it´s not." Not quite sure what I was agreeing to.

"Why does she want to make me unhappy?" The words were filled with bitterness and pain. "I just don´t understand it. Doesn´t she know-." Terri stopped herself and looked away for a moment, and when our gazes finally met again, she was looking decidedly uncomfortable and embarrassed, "I´m sorry," she said quickly, rising to her feet. "I didn´t mean to freak out like that. I´ve had too much to drink. I´m sorry."

She tried to walk past me to the door, but I gently held her back. "Terri?" She wouldn´t look at me. "Terri, I don´t know exactly what´s going on here, or why you´re so upset, but I want you to know that I´m here for you. You can tell me anything… or not, if you prefer that. Just remember that I love you and want to help you, no matter what. Do you understand?"

She gazed at me slowly, looking more awkward and tense than ever, "I appreciate your concern, Sarah, but really, everything´s fine. I just overreacted, that´s all. There´s nothing to worry about."

"Terri, people usually don´t punch the walls for no reason," I pointed out gently, cringing inwardly as I saw the expression of anger cross her face.

"Well, maybe I do!" she retorted harshly, then instantly rushed to apologize. "I´m sorry. I know you´re just trying to be kind. I´m sorry…" she faltered as if not knowing what to say. "I´m sorry I snapped at you. I´m just… I´m just very tired."

"Terri," I began, but she carefully put a finger to my lips, speaking softly, "Sarah, nothing´s wrong, I swear. I´ve just got a few issues to deal with when it comes to my mother, but it´s nothing serious and nothing I can´t handle on my own. So please…" Her eyes practically beseeched me. "Can we go say goodbye now?"

I could tell from the look on her face that she desperately wanted to get off the subject and reluctantly I relented, allowing her to open the door and lead me outside.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting amiably to her parents, Terri acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Very early the next morning, too early for my taste, I was woken up, not by the alarm, but by Terri jumping onto the bed and then with excitement fit for a child whispering into my ear, "So… Where´s my present?"

"What makes you think I got you one?" I replied, giving her a mock look of disapproval. "Waking people up in the middle of the night is not the best way to earn any presents."

"Oh," Terri pouted, then gave me a wicked grin. "You usually don´t complain when I wake you up, and besides, it´s 6:30, that hardly qualifies as the middle of the night."

"Close enough," I muttered, attempting to pull the covers over my head when suddenly I noticed a small package lying on the covers next to Terri.

"Ah-ah," Terri sing-songed teasingly, nudging the present out of reach just as I was about to lunge for it. "Me first! I´m the youngest. I´ve got less patience than you old people."

I shot her a menacing look, whose effect was completely ruined by the huge smile I felt creep onto my face. "Under the bed," I managed to say before Terri leapt off the covers to check underneath the bed, resurfacing a few seconds later with a big package in her arms.

Sitting down on the bed beside me, Terri gave me a light kiss before focusing all her attention on unwrapping the present. "I´ll be damned," was all she could say as she pulled a black leather jacket from the debris of paper in her lap. I studied her face intently, anxiously trying to gauge her reaction. Terri had been less than communicative about what she wanted for Christmas, claiming that she didn´t really need anything, and I had been at a loss as what to give her until I noticed a big tear in her old jacket a few weeks ago.

"Wow," Terri said finally, her fingers probing and feeling the leather as her eyes came to rest on me. "Sarah, this must have cost a fortune."

It had, but I hadn´t cared. If Terri had asked for the moon I would have found a way to give it to her.

"Do you like it?" I asked, purposely ignoring her last comment.

"I love it!" Terri´s eyes left my face again and she stared at the jacket. Then suddenly she smiled, a brilliant and heartfelt smile, and leaned down to kiss me slowly and thoroughly. "And I love you, too," she whispered quietly when we at last broke apart.

"Glad to hear it," I replied, not sure what pleased me the most; her words or her reaction.

For a moment we just looked at each other then I gave Terri a questioning smile and she smiled sheepishly in return, "Oh right…" Reaching behind herself, she grabbed the small present, holding it uncertainly in her hands. "I… I hope you like it," she spoke after a brief, but noticeable pause and she suddenly seemed very nervous. "I mean, it´s not that… I mean, maybe I should´ve found you something else, but I´m so very bad when it comes to decide what to give and I didn´t-."

"Terri," I interrupted gently, taking the present from her motionless hands. "You could´ve gotten me air in a box and I would still love it."

Terri just smiled weakly, watching keenly as I began to remove the paper to reveal a small black box. A jewellery box to be exact.

For the briefest of seconds our eyes met, and I thought I saw Terri hold her breath, then I slowly opened the lid. A thin, delicate silver ring flashed up to greet me. With extreme care, I released it from its safe hold in the dark velvet and very slowly held it up to my face to study it closer. Inside the ring, a small inscription read, "Because I love you."

Suddenly feeling a very thick lump in my throat, I looked at Terri who spoke hurriedly, "It´s not, I mean, it doesn´t… It´s just… as the inscription says… I´m not… I´m not asking you to marry me or anything."

She smiled feebly, searching my face as intently as I had hers a few minutes prior. I gently slipped the ring onto the third finger of my right hand. It was a perfect fit.

"I checked the size of some of your other rings," Terri said softly as I held my hand up, studying the ring from all angles. "I wanted to make sure it was the right one." Our gazes locked. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," I said quietly, subconsciously echoing Terri´s own words. "It´s so very beautiful."

"You don´t have to wear it, "Terri continued as if I hadn´t spoken. "I just wanted to give you something that showed how important you are to me. You won´t have to wear it if you don´t want to."

"Terri," I said, looking into her eyes. "Why wouldn´t I want to wear it?"

"Well," she mumbled uncertainly after what felt like several minutes of silence. "Some people just don´t like those kind of things. They think it´s too symbolic, that it means more than they´re comfortable with."

"I´m not one of those people," I said vehemently. "I love this ring, and I love what it symbolizes."

Terri, whose eyes had strayed to the ring, now looked directly at me, "What do you think it symbolizes, Sarah?"

I met her gaze without wavering, "That you love me, Terri."

For a second or two, her face showed no emotion at all, then she nodded solemnly, "Yes. That´s exactly what it means." Then she smiled, her eyes distant and thoughtful, as she carefully removed all the paper and her jacket from the bed. I watched in silence as she stripped, throwing the few items of clothing she had been wearing to the floor. Then she slipped into bed with me, pulling the covers up over us both.

As she began to kiss my neck and her hands slowly and unhurriedly caressed my breasts, I whispered urgently, "Terri, did you lock the door?"

"Does it matter?" she spoke huskily against my skin and I shuddered involuntarily when I felt the tip of her tongue trace the soft curve of my earlobe.

"No… it doesn´t…"

And it didn´t matter either, a few hours later when during breakfast, I caught Fiona staring openly at the thin silver band that fitted so perfectly on my finger.

Episode 22

"Come on, Terri, play along, will you? It´s just for fun."

"Sarah…" Terri poked her head out of the kitchen to give me a very exasperated look. "Those tests are just stupid, and besides, I´m in the middle of cooking if you haven´t noticed."

"Oh, I have noticed, sweetheart, I have. And you´re doing so well," I called out in my most angelic voice, which only caused Terri to roll her eyes and disappear back into the kitchen. Laughing, I continued, "We´ve already passed the `Is Your Partner a Romantic Test,´ and the `Ten Things You Should Know About Your Lover Test.´ If we ace the `Are You Compatible In Bed Test´ as well then there´s no doubt in my mind that we´re destined to be together. Forever."

I could hear Terri snort out in the kitchen, but then, just as I had expected, she came to stand in the door, looking at me pensively. "Destined, you say…?"

I gave her a little smile, "Destined."

"Hmm…" She rubbed her cheek absently, inadvertently smearing a bit of flour over her skin. "Well, okay," she sighed, then smiled lasciviously at me, "but I think we´re already pretty compatible."

"You may think so," I said, managing to look very solemn as I held up the magazine for her to see. "But until we´ve been officially approved by the Cosmopolitan experts, there´s no way we can know for sure. Who knows? Maybe we have been fooling ourselves all this time?"

"God forbid," Terri shook her head, grinning lightly. "Okay, if you can quiz me while I´m cooking, then fine. I´ll bet we´re gonna pass with flying colours."

She returned to the kitchen and I made myself comfortable on my couch, flipping through the magazine until I found the test in question. As I did so, my gaze fell on the delicate silver ring on my finger and I couldn´t help but smile. It had been almost a week since Terri had given it to me and it hadn´t been out of my sight since. I had even shown it to Paige who had been very impressed but also a little puzzled by the gift. She had tentatively asked me what it meant, and I could tell from her expression that she wasn´t sure what to think of it. I told her that it was just Terri´s way of showing she cared and Paige had nodded slowly, then said that she hadn´t thought Terri was the type to do such a thing. Feeling a little annoyed, I had been about to ask her what exactly she meant by that, but then the waiter had arrived with our food and my thoughts had drifted to other things.

It was only later when I arrived back at my apartment that I began to speculate what Paige´s impression of Terri was. They had met each other on a couple occasions, but usually with one of them either leaving or arriving and only a few words exchanged between them. I knew Paige mildly resented Terri for taking up so much of my time, but it wasn´t really to be taken personally and I had done my best to make time for her as well. Although, to be perfectly honest, I had been neglecting her, often choosing Terri´s company over hers.

That was one of the reasons I had come up with the perfect plan for New Year´s. We were going to celebrate at my place and I had invited both Paige and Terri, plus my sister and her husband, and I could already see myself moving gracefully among them, being the perfect hostess, offering canapés and champagne with a smile.

Unfortunately, it hadn´t been as easy to arrange as I had expected. Emma had had difficulties finding a babysitter for Ellie, Paige had suddenly found a guy she wanted to bring along, and Terri had out of the blue announced that she probably wouldn´t be in town New Year´s Eve. I had been disappointed, but kept silent. After all, we didn´t have to spend every single minute together.

Eventually I had more or less resigned myself to the fact that I would be welcoming the new year without having anybody to kiss when Terri suddenly changed her mind and declared that she would be home after all. She had informed me of her change of plans on the night I returned from the much-dreaded visit to my parents, the first visit since the revealing telephone conversation with my father. And later, after Terri had fallen asleep, I couldn´t help but wonder if that had been the reason for her decision.

"So…" Terri looked at me anxiously as I walked over to the fridge to pour myself a glass of white wine. "How did it go?"

I shrugged, not really in the mood for talking, "Okay, I guess. My father seems to be coping, my mother seems to be needing a little more time."

Terri continued to watch me closely as I exited the kitchen and walked into the living room, heading directly for the couch. I sat down with a deep sigh, leaning my exhausted head against a cushion. Sighing again, I closed my eyes, absently hearing Terri approach.

"Um…" I could hear the uncertainty in her voice as she came to stand before me, but was too tired to open my eyes. "Everything… everything´s okay… isn´t it?"

"Yeah, it´ll be fine. They´ll both survive. It might take a while, but they´ll get used to it."

For a moment there was silence, then Terri spoke hesitantly, "That´s… that´s good, but what I meant was…"

"Yes?" I could sense her nervousness and that finally prompted me to open my eyes. Terri was standing awkwardly before me and she wouldn´t quite meet my gaze.

"What I meant was… Is… is everything okay with… with us? I mean…" she faltered, then finished in a rush. "I mean, you haven´t changed your mind, have you? About… about this? About me…?"

I looked at her curiously, frowning slightly, "Changed my mind? What do you mean?"

"Well," Terri shifted on her feet, her eyes focused on a spot just to the right of my face. "I just thought that maybe they sort of, I don´t know… Maybe that they…"

"Terri," I put my glass down on the floor then rose from the couch. "You sound like you were afraid they would talk me out of loving you. That they would make me see the so-called error of my ways." I stepped over to her and put my hands on her shoulders, "You don´t really believe that would be possible, do you?"

"No," Terri smiled briefly, but I could feel the strong tension in her body and to reassure her, I leaned up and gave her a soft and loving kiss which she returned with an almost desperate urgency. When we broke apart, she buried her face in my hair, her arms holding me so tight that I could barely breathe. However, I let her, somehow knowing how much comfort Terri took in holding me like this, and although I was surprised by her sudden bout of insecurity, I knew her well enough not to take it lightly.

I had realized that sometimes, for whatever reason, Terri just seemed to have a stronger need to know she was loved and apparently this was one of them. And I was the last person in the world to deny her that assurance.

"I don´t ever want to live without you, Sarah," she mumbled into my hair and her tone of voice was so serious I felt a shiver run down my back. "I´ve decided that I want to celebrate New Year´s with you instead of going away."

"Are you sure?" I raised my head to look into her eyes and Terri gave me the first genuine smile of the evening. The heartfelt, affectionate one that always made my knees weak. "Yes, I´m sure."

"Sarah? Aren´t you going to quiz me?"

"Oh, right." Terri´s voice coming from the kitchen startled me out of my reverie and I shook my head lightly, surprised that I had allowed my thoughts to take me so far away. "The test…"

I made myself comfortable again then read out loud, "Okay, then… 1. You and your partner have just returned home from a good night out. As you get into bed you realize your partner is in a decidedly amorous mood whereas you are tired and just want to cuddle and then sleep. What do you do? A. Kindly tell your partner you are tired and just want to sleep? B. Try to distract your partner to avoid hurting their feelings and hope they will stop by themselves? C. Give in and let them continue in spite of the fact that you are not in the mood?"

For a long time there was no reaction, then Terri looked out of the kitchen door, a thoughtful expression on her face. Her brow furrowed subconsciously as she contemplated her possibilities for a moment, then suddenly she smiled wickedly, raising an eyebrow, "How tired are you exactly?"

"Terri," I answered with a small grin, "that was not the question. The question was what you would do if your partner was in, and I quote, `a decidedly amorous mood´ and you weren´t."

Terri wrinkled her nose, staring at me silently for a few seconds, then she smiled again, "I don´t think that has ever happened." She turned quickly to check on something in the kitchen before looking back at me. "But if it should happen, then I guess my answer would depend on what you wanted to do."

"Oh?" For some reason I could feel myself blushing lightly and judging from Terri´s pleased smirk, I could tell she had noticed it, too. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Terri nodded slowly, attempting to look very sage while a grin kept trying to creep onto her face. "I wouldn´t want you to lie awake all night, being all tense…"

"You wouldn´t?"

"Nope." Terri slowly sauntered over to me, sitting down on the couch beside me. Leaning forward, she brushed a few strands of hair away from my ear before whispering, "I would want something like this instead…" She continued to speak huskily into my ear and suddenly I had the impression that the temperature in my living room had increased by at least fifty degrees.

"Ah…" I looked at her, feeling rather flushed when she finally moved away. Smiling a bit sheepishly, I said, "I don´t think we´re going to need this test after all. I think we´ll manage just fine on our own."

Terri grinned crookedly, getting to her feet, "Somehow I think so, too." Then she returned to the kitchen, leaving me to contemplate all the enticing images her words had created in my mind, giving me the very strong feeling that neither of us were going to get much sleep that night.

Two days later New Year´s Eve arrived and with it, my guests. Paige came first, introducing her latest date, a huge and muscular, but slightly dull-looking guy named Mike who immediately went over to switch on the TV. I gave Paige a look, but she just smiled and mouthed that he was cute. A few minutes later Emma arrived with Richard. Emma gave me a big hug while her husband looked around nervously, obviously searching for something. When Em went over to greet the others, Richard asked hesitantly, eyes still scanning the living room, "Is she here?"

I was momentarily at a loss as to who he could be referring to, but then the shoe dropped and I gave him a friendly smile, "No, Terri isn´t here yet, and Richard, don´t worry. She isn´t going to bite you."

"Uh no, of course." He smiled tentatively. "It´s just, I… I´ve never met anybody like… like her before. I don´t want to say something wrong."

"Richard," I looked pointedly at him, not the slightest annoyed by his awkwardness since he was one of the sweetest people I had ever met. A man who would rather die than hurt anybody´s feelings. "I´m just like her, remember? And you don´t have any problems talking to me, do you? Besides, you met her at mum and dad´s anniversary."

He looked startled for a moment, then smiled, shaking his head lightly, "Yeah, you´re right, Sarah. I´m sorry, didn´t mean to be a jerk. It´s just still a bit new to me everything that´s happened. I´m just not sure how to react."

"No problem," I put my hand on his arm, guiding him over to the others. "Just be yourself, that usually works just fine."

We spent the next couple of minutes talking and sipping wine. Mike was doing slightly more than sipping, but Paige seemed to be quite taken with him and I decided she could handle him if he got too drunk. Eventually Terri showed up, looking very sexy in tight black jeans and a body hugging black turtleneck I had bought her for her birthday. She came out into the living room and walked over to give me a kiss hello, but slowly came to a halt a few feet away from me, her eyes taking in the sight of the people around her, each of whom was watching her intently.

A look I couldn´t quite read crossed her face, then she smiled uncertainly, "Hi… Sorry, I´m late." People nodded their greetings in return, but nobody spoke and they all continued to study her curiously. Terri began to look very uncomfortable, glancing at me, and I quickly stepped over to her, putting my arm around her waist. Leaning into her, I spoke cheerfully, "So, what about those Yankees?"

Everybody just stared at me like I was mad, then gradually they all began to smile and the tense atmosphere disappeared just as rapidly as it had arrived.

I got people to sit down and talk and then returned to the kitchen to make sure nothing was amiss and that everything was proceeding according to plan. With half an ear, I listened to Emma and Paige chat amiably while Richard was slowly trying to engage Terri in a conversation about soccer, despite the fact that he knew nothing whatsoever about the sport, but at least he made her laugh and for that I was grateful. What Mike was doing I couldn´t tell, but since I couldn´t hear his voice I assumed he had continued drinking.

It wasn´t that I had anything against him as such; he was probably a very nice guy once you got to know him - otherwise I couldn´t understand what Paige would be doing with him, but still there was something about him I didn´t quite like. Maybe it was the way he had watched Terri when she arrived, the brazen and upfront way he had checked her out without seemingly being concerned by either Paige´s or my presence.

Of course it wasn´t the first time I had noticed people giving Terri the once-over. It happened all the time when we went places but it had never bothered me before, mainly because Terri always seemed oblivious, her attention always focused entirely on me or something in her mind which practically meant a bomb could go off beside her and she wouldn´t notice. No, I didn´t mind Mike looking at her. What I minded was the way he did it. There had been appraisal in his eyes, but also, if not exactly contempt, then something disturbingly close to it. And what bothered me the most was that he hadn´t even made an attempt to hide it, not even when Terri stared right at him for a second or two before dismissing him and looking back at me.

To my great, but very pleasant, surprise, all my culinary attempts came through wonderfully, and everybody did their best to accommodate my orders that I wouldn´t tolerate any leftovers. We also consumed great amounts of various kinds of alcohol and while you can write hundreds of dissertations on the damaging effect of alcohol, it was nice to see Terri loosen up and become more relaxed around my other guests. She and Richard seemed to be getting along well and at one point, while I was putting a few plates away in the kitchen, she came out and informed me that she thought he was very nice and that they had talked about going to a soccer match together once the season started again. I was very pleased by that development, but managed to look neutral and just gave her a smile, saying it was a good idea and that it was sure to make my father very happy that Richard wasn´t a lost cause after all.

As midnight approached, we all gathered in the living room in front of the TV, waiting for the big moment to arrive while watching one of the countless New Year´s Eve shows with an obnoxiously cheerful host that gave everybody the impression he had to be on something a little stronger than coffee and champagne.

A few minutes to twelve the conversation came to a natural pause and I suddenly remembered the champagne and hurried out into the kitchen to prepare everything. Paige followed me to find the glasses and we were using the opportunity to catch up with each other when in the living room Mike without preamble chose that exact moment to speak. I couldn´t see him from where I was standing, but I had no difficulties guessing who it was he was addressing.

"So… you like to fuck women, do you?"

As you can imagine, the living room, and the kitchen I might add, grew deadly silent from the moment the remark had left Mike´s lips. I stared at Paige who just looked confused, then smiled weakly as if he had only said a bad joke. For a moment, I had no idea what to do, not having expected anything like this to happen. I suspect the anger hadn´t quite had the time to take hold of me yet and instead I felt strangely frozen and powerless, waiting for Terri´s answer.

Seconds ticked by very, very slowly with everybody present feeling uncomfortable and holding their breaths, then Terri spoke, her voice as dispassionate as if she was discussing the pros and cons of pocket protectors, "That´s not quite the way I´d put it, but yes, if you must know, I do prefer women."

"Why?" Mike instantly countered, and I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was warming up to the topic. "You´re not bad looking, you could get a guy without problems. Why would you want to be with some girl when you could be with a real man? After all," he sniggered, obviously finding something amusing, "there´s something only a man can give you."

"Uh," Richard chipped in, trying to divert everybody´s attention. "It´s almost twelve, does anybody have a New Year´s resolution for the new millennium they would like to share?"

"Yeah," came Terri´s calm and unaffected answer and I could easily picture the look in her eyes, "not to be surrounded by impotent and repressed sissies who have to compensate for their own inadequacy by attacking others."

"What did you call me!" I could hear Mike rise from the couch and from the answering creak of a chair knew Terri had done the same.

"I believe I called you an impotent sissy, but if that´s too hard for you to grasp then I´ll make sure to give it to you in writing. Then maybe you´ll be able to spell your way through it."

Finally, a chilling but seething anger stirred me into action and I walked into the living room with Paige close behind me just in time to see Mike lunge for Terri, who deftly stepped back, easily avoiding his flailing arms.

"What the hell do you think you´re doing?!"

Everybody froze, turning to stare at me, Emma and Richard looking decidedly embarrassed and Mike just plain out stupid whereas Terri´s face was blank, but her eyes… her eyes were so cold that I faltered for a second before continuing.

"How dare you act like this in my home?! Who the fuck do you think you are to speak like this?! You got exactly ten seconds to get out of here before I throw you out myself!"

I did have enough presence of mind to know that if Mike decided to be difficult there was no way I could throw him out on my own, but Richard then resolutely walked over to stand beside me, arms crossed at the chest, his usually gentle eyes filled with anger.

"You heard her, buddy, get out of here. Now!"

Mike stared at us in disgust, his face flushed from alcohol and anger, then he rolled his eyes and strode to the door, speaking over his shoulder, "Are you coming?"

All eyes came to rest on Paige who looked very awkward and embarrassed, then she smiled apologetically at me before rushing after Mike, leaving the front door wide open. Just then, we all heard the clock strike twelve and we simultaneous looked to the TV to see fireworks and cheering people celebrate the new millennium. For a long moment we just stared blankly at the screen, nobody saying a word, then Richard sighed quietly, rubbing his forehead, "Well, there´s always next year."

I couldn´t help but smile reluctantly, giving his arm a little squeeze. Then I turned to look at Terri, only to find that she wasn´t there. That she had left without any of us noticing it, closing the door behind her without a sound.

It seemed like I would be welcoming the new year without anybody to kiss after all.

Episode 23

Around noon the next day, I found myself knocking on Terri´s door. I had tried to call her a few times the night before, but there had been no answer and the machine hadn´t been on, so I couldn´t leave a message either. The remains of New Year´s Eve had been a subdued, but still pleasant, affair, and more than once I had wished Terri hadn´t left.

I wasn´t angry at her for leaving, nor was I feeling that upset over what had happened; it wasn´t the fist time I had encountered a jerk and it definitely wouldn´t be the last. I just wished that sometimes things weren´t so damn complicated.

I had come to realize that Terri could be quite sensitive about certain areas and, although she was fully entitled to be that way, I secretly hoped that she would eventually develop a thicker skin. It would make life so much easier for her. And me, too, for that matter - as selfish as that might seem.

"Who is it?" a tired voice called out from the behind the door when I knocked again and I answered quietly. "It´s me."

For a second nothing moved, then I heard the sound of a body getting out of bed and bare feet coming towards me. Opening the door in boxers and t-shirt, Terri stood there, staring at me impassively for a moment, then without a word she stepped back into her room, leaving the door open for me to follow. Without exactly knowing why, I sighed deeply and then walked inside.

Terri was sitting on the bed with her back against the wall, her eyes disinterestedly watching an old black and white film on the TV with the volume turned down. The sheets were rumpled and her hair was tousled and matted, giving the impression she had only recently woken up. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I studied her profile for a few seconds then said softly, "I´m sorry."

Terri didn´t answer, but just shrugged, her eyes never leaving the TV.

"I didn´t know Mike was such an idiot. If I had I would have told Paige to leave him at home."

Terri shrugged again, still without speaking, and I began to feel a little irritated. After all, it wasn´t me who had caused the trouble last night, and I wasn´t the one who had run away. Pushing the not very constructive feelings aside, I took a deep breath and said tiredly, "You didn´t have to go, you know. There was no reason to."

"Maybe," Terri finally answered, shrugging for a third time.

I waited for her to elaborate, but nothing came forward and I shook my head imperceptibly. Apparently this was as good as it was going to get. I decided to drop the subject and asked instead, "Where did you go? I tried to call you."

"Out," Terri replied curtly and I could detect a hint of annoyance in her tone.

Having had enough of this game, I reached out and firmly took the remote control from her fingers. She didn´t resist, but just watched in silence as I switched off the TV before turning back to her.

"Terri…" I began, waiting until she slowly turned her head to look at me. "I´d really appreciate it if you didn´t take off like that again. I know you got angry and so did I, but you must understand I worry when you disappear like that."

Terri looked at me for a long time, her face blank and her eyes veiled, then she nodded lightly, "Okay." She hesitated for a second then added quietly, "I didn´t mean to ruin the evening for you. I just got fed up."

"No wonder." I leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the lips to show there were no hard feelings. "He was an arsehole."

"Yeah," she smiled faintly, but there didn´t appear to be any real conviction behind it. "He was."

Happy with the result, I moved closer and kissed her again. She pulled me into her arms and for the next few minutes we kissed without haste or frenzy, just enjoying each other´s company. Of course, as always, it gradually become more passionate and I could feel Terri´s heart beat faster against my palm on her chest. With gentle insistence, she attempted to push me down onto the bed, but I held my ground, having one more thing I needed to tell her before we got carried away with other matters.

"Terri… wait…" I knew she heard me because for a second the pressure against my shoulders ceased, but then her hands pushed down again, her lips attaching themselves resolutely to my neck.

"Terri… I mean it." This time she let out a deep sigh, but obliged and moved a few feet away, wrapping her arms around her as if to make sure they didn´t wander of their own volition.

Raising an eyebrow, she looked at me impatiently, "Well?"

The quiet frustration in her voice almost made me smile, but I managed to suppress it since I had a very good idea of what she was feeling in that moment. As a matter of fact, the same feelings were racing through my body, all of them complaining loudly at my apparently compulsive need to talk whenever other, more important, tasks could be undertaken with my mouth.

"I know this isn´t the most ideal of times, but I wanted to ask you if you were doing anything next Saturday?"

"Why?" Terri asked, suddenly wary.

"Well," I started out slowly, Terri´s attitude making me hesitate. "My… my parents would like to meet you."

She stared at me, her face carefully neutral. "They have already met me."

"Yes," I shifted slightly on the bed, feeling more and more uncomfortable without exactly being able to pinpoint why. "But this time they would like to… well, to meet you for real... As my lover."

The sentence lingered in the air between us for a couple of very long seconds, then Terri wrinkled her nose and said dismissively, "I can´t. I´m busy Saturday."

"You are?" I was aware that I sounded a lot more disbelieving than I had wanted her to know, but for some reason I just didn´t believe her and it was evident in my voice. "With what?"

Terri´s eyes narrowed and she licked her lips quickly, but then her face became unreadable again and she said evenly, "I´m helping one of Alison´s friends to move. He´s got a lot of stuff that needs to be carried."

"You´re helping one of Alison´s friends," I repeated incredulously.

"Yes."

"Why?" I asked, frowning lightly. "You don´t even like her, and you most certainly don´t owe her anything. On the contrary."

Terri blinked in surprise, looking startled by my direct statement, but then she composed herself. "She asked me, I said yes. I´m not going to back out now."

"Okay, okay… fair enough." I didn´t really want to get into a stupid argument, especially not over Alison. "How about Sunday then? Do you think you can make that?"

Terri studied me silently for a minute or two, then she sighed and said wearily, "Look, Sarah… If it´s okay with you, I think I´ll pass on that one. I´m kinda tired of feeling like some exotic animal in a zoo everybody wants to stare at. Your parents already know me, can´t we just leave it at that?"

I know it wasn´t intended, but nonetheless her blunt words cut deeply. I turned away, unable, or unwilling, to look at her and see what might be written on her face. Instead my gaze fell on her right ankle, on the small tattoo imprinted onto the dark skin.

"You´re willing to get a tattoo with my name," I spoke tonelessly and without any feeling of any kind. "But you won´t come to meet my parents…"

"I…" Terri´s voice was very tired, almost resigned. "I don´t know… It´s not that… Maybe… maybe one day, one day soon, but not this weekend, okay? I really am busy."

I lifted my head and we looked into each other´s eyes. I could see some kind of conflict take place inside her, but I couldn´t tell its origins or what it meant. Trying one last time, I said gently, "My father likes you…"

Terri smiled reluctantly, "I like him, too."

"It doesn´t have to be right away," I continued, encouraged by Terri´s admission. "My birthday´s in February, if you like we could see them then. Somewhere neutral, perhaps."

Terri regarded me pensively, then nodded briefly, "Yes, I think that´s better. I would prefer that. I´ll also have more time then, I´m pretty busy with finals as it is right now."

"Right, that´s true. When is that by the way?"

Terri made a small careless gesture, leaned back against the wall and spoke indifferently, "In two weeks´ time."

"Nervous?" I moved over to sit beside her.

She picked up a piece of fluff from the crumpled covers, staring at it for a second before flicking it away. "No."

"So… You got everything covered?" I probed carefully, clearly seeing that Terri would like nothing more than for me to drop the subject.

"Yeah, sure," she answered exasperated, the expression in her eyes boarding on hostile. "Everything´s fine." She was silent for a moment, then said slowly and hesitantly, her gaze darting away and her fingers fidgeting with a conveniently placed pillow, "Look… Sarah… If you don´t mind I would like to be alone now. I didn´t get much sleep last night."

I don´t know how, but somehow I managed to give off the impression that her words didn´t hurt me in the least. Rising from the bed, I looked down at her and spoke nonchalantly. "Of course, you look beat. I´ll leave you to get some rest."

Terri nodded in acknowledgement, but didn´t meet my eyes. However, as I rushed to the door, desperate to get out, I could feel her gaze burn into my back and just as I put my hand on the door handle, she blurted out, her voice almost frantic, "I love you, Sarah!"

I paused, then replied, my words sounding strangely sorrowful even to my ears. "And I love you, Terri."

Then I left. That night I more or less cried myself to sleep, and I couldn´t for the life of me understand why.

Episode 24

The next couple of days I remember as being some of the most miserable in my life. I got up in the mornings, went to work, spent time with Paige and my sister, but it all felt mechanical, like a routine I had to follow and not because I wanted to. Terri was never far from my mind, but I was reluctant to call her. I was tired of always being the one to reach out whenever we had a small disagreement, and I also felt that it was about time that Terri showed our relationship truly meant something to her, that she was willing to work for it and wasn´t just along for the ride.

Of course I was terrified by what my decision, based mainly on hurt feelings, might result in. That she might not get in contact with me at all. However, as tempted as I was sometimes to forget my pride and call her, I stayed firm and purposely ignored the phone whenever the need to see her became too strong.

I missed her terribly. I missed going to bed with her at nights and waking up with her in the mornings. I missed her smile and her laughter, her voice when she was telling me about something she loved, and the raise of an eyebrow and her indulgent sigh every time she realized I hadn´t been paying attention because I had been too caught up in watching the sparkle in her eyes instead.

I knew she was busy with her finals and I knew she was the type of person who preferred to let things rest and then forget everything about them rather than talk about it, but when the fifth day passed and I still hadn´t heard from her, I must confess my resolve not to call her began to waver.

Paige was being very supportive, if a little triumphant, but since she was still seeing Mike she knew better than to put Terri down, both because I informed her that I was very much aware of Terri´s shortcomings myself and because Mike wasn´t exactly something to brag about either.

"So we´re still on for Saturday?"

"Yes." I made a quick note in the margin of the page I was scanning. "Of course."

"Good." I could hear Paige adjust her hold on the receiver before sighing and asking with feigned indifference, "Is Terri coming?"

I put my pen down on the desk and subconsciously straightened up in my chair, "I haven´t spoken to her, so I don´t think so. Why?"

"Well…" Although I couldn´t see her, I could easily picture the expression on Paige´s face. "I was thinking about bringing Mike…"

"You´re very welcome to bring him," I said calmly, "but then I´m not coming."

"Oh, c´mon, Sarah," Paige whined, "he´s not that bad. I know he behaved like a jerk last time, but he was just drunk. He didn´t mean any of it."

I sighed tiredly, glancing at my watch. Thank God it was almost 5 p.m. and then I had an entire weekend to look forward to. "That may be, Paige, but I honestly have no desire to see Mike again. If you like him, then fine, but don´t expect me to swoon over him as well."

"Yeah? Well, if your girlfriend wasn´t so sensitive-."

"Paige," I interrupted quietly, the warning clear in my voice. "You don´t want to go there…"

Paige was silent for a moment, then she exhaled slowly, "I´m sorry, Sarah. I was out of line, it wasn´t Terri´s fault what happened." She paused, then said, "You still haven´t heard from her, huh?"

"No." I leaned back in my chair, debating with myself whether I should prop my feet up on my desk.

"Are you gonna call her?"

"No."

"Sarah…" Paige exasperated. "Why not? I mean, I understand that you don´t want to be the one doing all the work, but you do love her, don´t you? And even though I´m not one of Terri´s biggest fans I do know how much she means to you, and you mean a lot to me, Sarah, I want you to be happy and if-."

"Paige-" I began, intent on stopping her before she began fixing my love life over the phone. However, in that moment a knock sounded on the door and my secretary poked his head in, giving me a mildly disapproving look when he noticed my feet on the desk.

"There´s someone to see you," he mouthed, then pointed at his watch and I nodded, gesturing that he could go home.

"I have to go now, Paige, I´ll call you tonight, okay?"

I conveniently overheard her protests and said goodbye, then looked up when I heard the door open and to my surprise saw Terri step inside my office.

"Hey…" She smiled fleetingly, uncertainly taking a few steps closer to the desk before stopping. "Your secretary said I could walk right in."

"Hi." I gave her a little surprised smile, quickly putting my feet back down on the floor. "Yes, I was just about to go home."

"Oh…" Terri nodded, but didn´t say anything else, her eyes taking a slow tour of the office before coming back to rest on me.

For a long and tense moment we just looked at each other. I was consumed with conflicting emotions; one part of me being incredibly happy to see her again, another part very angry that it had taken her so long. And as my usually dormant stubborn streak hit big time, I vowed not to be the one to make the first move. Not this time.

I think Terri could sense my ambivalence because she shifted on her feet, drawing her jacket closer around her, then, so low I almost didn´t hear it, she said, "I´m sorry."

"You´re sorry?" I repeated neutrally, wanting to hear more.

"Yeah…" she shifted again, looking down at the floor. "I know I didn´t, I mean, I didn´t…" she trailed off, then looked up, nervously meeting my eyes, "I´m sorry."

I nodded, accepting her apology, just as I had known I would all along. However, I wasn´t quite done. "I haven´t seen or heard from you in five days, Terri…"

"I know."

"I know you do," I spoke quietly, then took a deep breath, stealing myself for the next question. "Look, Terri…" In spite of my determination, I faltered and to gain a little time I rose from the chair and began to rearrange some of the folders on my desk.

"Sarah?" I could easily hear the fear in Terri´s voice. "Is… is something wrong?"

I looked up reluctantly, gazing directly into wary and clouded blue eyes and feeling my throat constrict, I said hoarsely, "Look, Terri, I need to know where we are going with this. I need to know that this is what you really want."

"What?" Her brow furrowed in incomprehension. "What do you mean?"

"Terri…" I perched myself on the edge of my desk, forcing myself not to break eye contact, no matter how tempting. "I realize we are very different and that´s a good thing, but… but there are certain things I want, need, from a relationship. I need to know we can talk about whatever might be bothering us. I need to know you won´t be running away from me or shutting me out every time we have a disagreement. I understand you have your ways of dealing with stuff, just like I have mine, but if we can´t be there for each other, help each other, then I don´t see much point in us being together."

I exhaled inaudibly, watching Terri carefully and waiting for her reaction. Her brow was still furrowed as she contemplated my words, trying to understand what it was exactly I was saying, then suddenly she blanched, "You want to break up?!"

"No, no," I hurried to reassure her, "that´s not what I meant. What I meant was that I need to hear from you that you´re willing to, well…" I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I searched for the proper words. "I want to know that you´re willing to put some effort into this as well. That… that it isn´t just me who thinks this is worth fighting for."

"But…" Terri regarded me nervously, subconsciously taking a step back towards the door. "But I thought things were going well. I mean," she countered abruptly, her voice growing defiant, "we have been together for more than four months. We most be doing something right."

"Terri," I sighed desolately, looking away. "There´s more to a relationship than sex. You have to be able to talk to each other as well."

"But we do talk." This time her voice sounded almost petulant and I looked back at her, speaking softly, "Not about things that really matter."

I sighed again, then said evenly, ignoring the frantic protests my heart was shouting at me, "I love you, Terri, you know that, and I really want us to be together, but for us to be that I need something from you. I need to know I can depend on you, that you´re there for me, the way I try to always be there for you. And… and…" I had to clear my throat a few times before I could continue. "And if you can´t, or won´t, give me that, or at least give it a try, then… then I think it´s better for me to get out of this while I still can. I love you, Terri, but I have no desire to have my heart broken."

As I spoke those words, I was painfully aware that it was probably already too late for that.

Terri was silent for a very long time, her gaze centred on the ground, then she whispered, "I don´t know if I can give you that, Sarah. I want to, but I don´t know if I can…"

"Will you at least try?" I slid down from the desk and walked over to stand before her. Reaching out to tilt up her face, I asked softly, "Will you at least do that for me?"

I knew my tone had become quite close to pleading, but I couldn´t help myself. Things had escalated so fast. I had never intended for it to go so far, but once I´d started I hadn´t been able to keep it inside anymore. I needed answers, I needed reassurance that this was something she wanted, too.

Terri looked at me, her eyes seeming almost afraid, then she nodded, "Yes." Her gaze left my face again, "Yes…"

A tremendous relief washed over me and I pulled her into my arms, giving no thought to where we were or who might see us. "Thank you," I whispered into her ear, soaking up the feel and scent of being with her again that I had missed so terribly. "Thank you..."

Terri didn´t answer, but only tightened her arms around me, an almost imperceptible tremor running through her body.

That night we went out for dinner, which Terri insisted on paying for, telling me she had gotten a job as a bartender in a bar downtown. It wasn´t a very grand or fancy place, she said, but the hours were flexible and the pay was reasonable, so all in all she was quite satisfied with it. I inquired how she found the time and she just shrugged and said it wasn´t so much of finding the time, but more of not having a choice. Her rent had just gone up and her financial situation had been tight as it was already, and there was no way she would ask her parents for help. Not because they wouldn´t help her out, but as a matter of principle. She wouldn´t ask for money unless she was in real trouble. I told her that if she ever found herself short of cash, she could always turn to me, but to that she only smiled, shook her head and said she would rather work a little harder than having to come to me.

After dinner, we went back to my place and settled down on the couch to watch TV, although we quickly lost interest in the movie and began to pay more attention to each other instead. Having spent a few moments exchanging a very satisfying round of kisses, Terri opted for some wine and went out into the kitchen to see what I had. She returned with two bottles of white wine and I pointed out that I couldn´t get too drunk because I had to meet up with Paige the next day. However, that didn´t stop Terri, who poured us both a generous glass and with a big grin handed me one, saying that she would make sure I got up in time.

"So…" Making myself comfortable on the floor, I leaned back against the couch, taking a sip of the wine. "When did you first know you were gay?"

Terri gave me a slightly surprised look over the brim of her glass, then grinned a little, "So we´re gonna have that conversation, are we?"

"No, no," I shook my head, growing less cautious and taking a big swallow of the wine. "I´m just curious to hear when you first knew. Personally, I wouldn´t really admit it to myself until after I had left home."

"Oh well," Terri began, kicking her shoes off before emptying her glass. "I guess I´ve always known…" She was silent for a few seconds then turned her head to look at me, "It was the only thing that felt right, you know… I did like guys and so, but only as friends. I never had… well," she grinned, more to herself than me, "I never had the desire to get to know them intimately."

"So you´ve never been with a man?"

"Nah, well, I kissed one once, but I found that rather uninteresting." She grinned again, "It was all I could do not to look at my watch to see when it was appropriate to stop."

I had to laugh at that image, then leaned over to place a soft kiss on her lips, "You prefer this?"

Terri slowly ran her tongue over her lips, looking intently into my eyes, "Oh yeah." She reached out to put a hand behind my neck, pulling me back to her lips. Her tongue instantly entered my mouth, but took its time to explore and slide against mine. Without breaking contact, she got to her knees, slipping her arms around me to pull me closer until our torsos were moulded together. Her hands slid down to grab my buttocks and she shifted on her knees, pulling me tight against her groin. I heard the unspoken request and began a slow grind against her, more feeling than hearing her moan of pleasure in my mouth as she returned the pressure.

My pulse was pounding in my ears and Terri´s breathing had become quite ragged when we finally broke apart, both in desperate need of air. Halting my movements, but keeping the contact between our bodies, I whispered throatily into her ear, "This is more like it, isn´t it?"

I could feel her swallow and it took a moment before she could answer, her voice low and husky, "It most certainly is."

We remained glued together like this for a minute or two, then suddenly Terri pulled back, searching my face. Tracing my lips with her finger she asked quietly, "Can I stay the night?"

I kissed the tip of her finger before giving her a gentle smile, "Do you have to ask?"

She didn´t answer but kissed me soundly, then whispered, "Bedroom?"

"Bedroom," I nodded in the affirmative, smiling faintly. "I don´t have your preference for floors."

"Oh please," Terri gave me a look of mock offence. "Look who´s talking. I seem to remember a couple of times when-."

I silenced her with a kiss before getting to my feet, pulling her up with me. I was about to take her hand and lead the way when she stopped, giving me a slightly odd look.

"Yes?" I inquired, feeling rather amused by the expression on her face. "Did you change your mind?"

"Uh… no…" she mumbled, studying me intensely. "I… I just have to…" Without finishing the sentence she turned on her heels and walked over to the front door where she had carelessly deposited her bag. Lightly puzzled, I watched as she rummaged through the bag, then I shrugged and used the opportunity to bring the wine and the glasses out into the kitchen.

Putting the full bottle into the fridge and the empty in the trash, I heard the door into the bathroom close. At first I didn´t think much of it, then suddenly a thought struck and I sighed regretfully, knowing that the bedroom probably wouldn´t be used for much else than sleeping that night. Feeling just a little sorry for myself, I rinsed the glasses, absently wondering how it already could be that time of the month again.

Switching off the lights, I met Terri halfway as she came out of the bathroom, her eyes darting away the moment they met mine. "Hey…" I took hold of her hand, tugging her towards me before letting go. "It´s no big deal. I´m a bit tired anyway."

A look of confusion crossed her face, then realization hit and even in the darkened corridor I could tell she was blushing, "Oh no, it wasn´t… I mean, it´s not…"

"Well?" I questioned patiently, waiting to hear the reason for her unusual behaviour. "What was it?"

"Well… I um… I…" she spoke awkwardly and I smiled in encouragement, surprised by how embarrassed she suddenly looked. Then with sudden resolution she took my hand, hesitated for just a second, then placed it firmly over her crotch. "This."

"Oh…" I looked down to where my hand touched her. There was definitely more there than there had been a few minutes earlier. "I see…" Using my free hand, I got her to look up, giving her a suggestive smile to let her know I was very much in favour of her idea, "Been eating your vegetables, have you?"

My words made her blush again, but she seemed to have recovered from her embarrassment and just shrugged, grinning a little, "Yep. My mum always said I´d grow big and strong if I-"

"I´m pretty sure your mother never had this in mind," I interrupted with a big grin, running my hand over the hardness I felt trapped inside Terri´s jeans. "Otherwise I´ll have to seriously reconsider my opinion of her."

"True," Terri agreed, then gave me a pointed look. "But let´s stop talking about my mother, okay? It´s putting me right out of the mood."

"Uh, we wouldn´t want that, would we?"

"Nope," she stated, then dragged me off to bed before I could say another word.

The next morning I woke to the annoying sound of the phone ringing and without waiting to hear who was on the line I said placidly, "I´m sorry, Paige. I overslept. Half an hour and I´ll be there."

A stunned silence greeted me, then Paige asked suspiciously, "How did you know it was me?"

"Lucky guess," I mumbled sleepily, turning over to look at Terri who was lying flat on her stomach beside me, her deep and even breathing indicating that she was still fast asleep.

"Oh well," Paige spoke, not sounding too upset that I had stood her up. She was silent for a moment, then asked innocently, "Terri wouldn´t happen to be there, would she?"

"Um, yes…" This time it was my turn to be surprised. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," Paige shot back at me, chuckling quietly. "Is she coming with you?"

"Nah…" I smiled involuntarily, brushing a lock of black hair away from Terri´s face. "I think I´ll let her sleep."

"Oh?" Paige grinned. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing she didn´t want me to. Well, see you in a bit," I finished with a grin, hanging up and leaving Paige to come to her own conclusion in her head. Which, knowing her, she would be more than capable of.

It took me several minutes before I got so far to sit up and then unsteadily made my way toward the bathroom. I really wasn´t in the mood to do brunch with Paige, but a promise was a promise, and I couldn´t very well tell her that my reason for not wanting to come was because I would rather stay at home making love to Terri all day. Well, actually I could tell her that, but she wouldn´t understand. Okay, she would understand, but she wouldn´t approve of my choosing Terri over her again, and I valued our friendship too much to want to risk it. That didn´t mean I wouldn´t be with her in spirit, though. But of course, that wasn´t quite the same thing.

Entering the bathroom, I closed the door behind me, pausing for a second to study my reflection in the large mirror. My neck, throat and breasts showed obvious signs of Terri having been in a very amorous mood the night before, but I had as well, and I knew Terri would have the scratches on her back and shoulders to prove it.

Smiling decadently to no one but myself, I stepped inside the shower and turned on the water. Just as I had lathered my hair, I heard the faint sound of the doorbell ringing. Cursing quietly, I argued quickly with myself whether I should take the time to rinse my hair before answering, but before I could make a decision I heard Terri call out, "I´ll get it!"

For a second I froze, then, without exactly knowing why, I hurried out of the shower, threw on a bathrobe and went outside just in time to hear Terri say, "Oh… Good morning, Mr. Kingston."

I stopped dead in my tracks, then took a deep breath, praying to any deity that would listen that Terri was wearing more than a sheet when she opened the door.

Then I went out to greet my father.

Episode 25

My father has always been a remarkably pragmatic man. It takes a lot to faze him, and apparently being face to face with his daughter´s female lover, - who was wearing a lot less than she ought - didn´t seem to affect him in the least. Instead he smiled and said calmly, "Hello, Terri. Is Sarah there?"

"Hi, Dad! What an unexpected surprise." I quickly moved forward, effectively shielding Terri behind me. "What are you doing here?"

As my father moved to give me a hug, frowning lightly when he noticed the remains of shampoo in my hair, Terri gave me a faint smile and disappeared back into the bedroom. She returned a few minutes later, fully clothed, and a reasonably relaxed expression on her face.

In the meantime, my father had assured me there was no particular reason for his visit, he had just wanted to say hi, and when Terri slumped down onto the couch beside him, I got up and headed for the bathroom to finish my shower. I didn´t buy his explanation for a second, but since there was no way he could have known Terri would be here, he probably just had been in the mood to talk.

I don´t know why, but somehow I had complete faith that it was safe to leave them alone together - they had been getting along great the last time - so I took my time in the bathroom, thinking that it probably wouldn´t hurt them to spend a few moments getting to know one another. In spite of my reassurances, I must confess I was nervous about what was happening in the living room, but when I reappeared some time later, I found them chatting amiably with each other. Or almost chatting, since my father was doing most of the talking with Terri giving pleasant, but mostly monosyllabic answers in return.

All sorts of strange emotions rushed through me as I paused in the doorway, watching my lover and my father talk, a scenario that, until a few weeks ago I would have thought completely unimaginable. I recognized my father´s friendly and subtle questioning as the one he used on the couple of boyfriends I had brought home in the past, always attempting to learn as much about them as possible without them actually realizing it. I took that as a good sign, I couldn´t imagine he would do that if he didn´t consider our relationship to be serious, something to be reckoned with. However, I doubted his tactics would work on Terri. She was always too much on her guard around people she didn´t know well to fully relax, and what my father was doing would hardly escape her notice. Nevertheless I was surprised to see how at ease she seemed to be with him.

"So I hear you had a nice Christmas?"

"Yeah," Terri nodded, "it was good. Lots of snow."

My father hesitated, probably waiting for her to elaborate, but then apparently realized that Terri wasn´t in a talkative mood. Of course, he couldn´t know that was the way she usually was. Then he made another attempt.

"Sarah mentioned to me the other day that you are halfway through your finals?"

"Yes," Terri nodded again, her gaze dropping to the couch as she idly scratched her thigh. "I´m almost done."

"How is it going?"

She raised her head slowly and looked at him for a long time, then she sighed and even from my spot at the door I could hear the quiet resignation in her voice, "Not too well, I´m afraid."

Both my father and I straightened up, but before I could say anything he beat me to it and asked, "Why not?"

She shrugged, smiling briefly, "I didn´t study enough."

My father, ever the industrious and hard working man, frowned as if he didn´t quite understand the concept. I frowned as well, both because I was completely surprised by the fact that Terri willingly would admit something like that to him when she wouldn´t to me, and because I couldn´t help but feel just a little peeved that she hadn´t said something sooner.

Without announcing my presence, I inquired evenly, "Are you in danger of flunking?"

If Terri was startled by my voice, she didn´t let it on, instead she leaned back in the couch and said carelessly, barely glancing my way, "Yes, I think so."

"I see." I gave my father a tight little smile as he turned to look at me, but then turned my attention back to Terri. I didn´t really want to get into this, especially not in front of my father, but apparently that was the only time she deemed fit to let me in on some of the things going on in her life. "And when were you going to tell me?"

By the guilty look shot my way, my guess was: Never.

"Okay…" I nodded to myself, trying not to get angry. After all, it had been less than twenty-four hours since we agreed to be more open and forward with each other. With dinner the night before, and all the time we had spent in bed afterwards, doing everything but talk, there had hardly been any time for her to say something. She had probably only been waiting for the right moment.

Yeah right… And Bill Clinton never inhaled…

Sighing deeply, I forced a smile to my lips. Whether it was for my own, Terri´s, or my father´s benefit, I didn´t know. "Well, I wish you the best of luck for the last tests. Maybe it won´t be as bad as you think."

Terri turned her head abruptly, staring at me with surprise and suspicion. For a few moments she tried to gauge how serious I was and when she realized I wasn´t being sarcastic, she gave me a relieved and grateful smile, "Thank you. I hope you´re right."

The smile and the warmth in her voice almost made me melt, but a small sliver of anger remained inside me, and I couldn´t help but wonder how much it would take for it to fester. Still, I was in too good a mood to have my day ruined with pointless brooding, and suddenly remembering the reason why I was up and about in the first place, I walked over to get my coat.

Speaking over my shoulder, I said, "I have to meet with Paige in less than ten minutes, so I´m afraid I have to go now. If I stand her up twice, there´ll be hell to pay."

I turned around to face them and to my surprise noticed an almost panicked expression on Terri´s face. With an evil little grin, I realized she was worried I would go and leave her alone with my father. For a moment I was tempted to do it, just to get back at her for not telling me about her exams, but then I shook my head imperceptibly, giving her a faint smile and she smiled hesitantly in return.

"Dad?" I met my father´s eyes. "Why don´t you walk me to the car, then I can catch up on everything on the way."

His mouth opened and he looked quickly at Terri, but then he nodded, smiling warmly, "Sure, why not. Terri…" He extended his hand to her. "It was nice meeting you again, I hope we´ll have the chance to see more of you in the future. I know my wife would like to see you again."

Before Terri could answer, I interjected innocently, my eyes never leaving Terri´s face, "As I matter of fact, Terri and I were discussing that just the other day, and we both agreed that my birthday would be the perfect occasion for all of us to get together. Isn´t that so, Terri?"

She looked at me, her face unreadable, and I involuntarily held my breath, but then a very tiny and reluctant grin spread on her face as she conceded defeat. "Yes, I think we did agree on that."

"Splendid," my father rose from the couch, looking quite pleased. "Then I´ll tell pass that on to my wife."

He came over to stand beside me, waiting for me to open the door so we could go, but I paused indecisively, suddenly feeling a bit awkward. One thing was for my father to know we were together, another thing entirely was for him to actually witness it. Seeing Terri´s questioning expression, I inwardly shook my head at my own foolishness, then in a few long strides walked over to the couch.

Smiling at her, I asked quietly, "Are you staying here?"

"If you don´t mind?"

"Not at all," I answered, in spite of my resolution to be mature very conscious of my father´s gaze on us. "Shouldn´t be more than two hours before I´m back."

"Okay," Terri nodded slowly, glancing towards the door, and I realized she was waiting for a clue from me as to how I wanted her to act.

Exasperated with myself for making things more complicated than they were, I leaned down and gave her a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. After all, my father had to know we were doing more than holding hands. "See you in a few hours."

"Yeah, have fun."

My father and I walked to the lift in silence, occasionally exchanging a smile when our eyes happened to meet. I was just waiting for him to say something, but it wasn´t until we arrived at the car park under my building that he cleared his throat and inquired softly, "So this… you and Terri… you are really serious about it?"

I looked at him as we continued to walk towards my car. "Yes, I thought you knew that."

"Well…" he shrugged a little, smiling briefly. "I guess I just wanted to make sure. You know…" We stopped at my car and he was silent for a moment before speaking earnestly, "This is going to make your life a whole lot more complicated."

"Loving Terri?"

He shook his head, suddenly appearing a little sad, "Loving a woman… Like that, I mean."

I looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but gentle concern, then I nodded slowly, "I know, Dad, but I do love her like that and she happens to make me very happy." I took a deep breath before exhaling quietly, "I hope you and mum can accept that."

"I already have, sweetie," he smiled gently at me, "and I´m sure your mother will as well, she just has to get used to the idea. It´ll probably help once she gets to know Terri better. I´m just…" He hesitated for a second, his voice becoming firmer, "I´m just worried about you, not all people will be as understanding. You are my daughter, Sarah, and I don´t want to see you hurt by all the idiots out there."

His words warmed me greatly and I had a sudden flashback of him sitting on the edge of my bed, telling me not to be afraid of the monsters because he would always be there to protect me.

Without a word, I closed the distance between us and gave him a hug. He was startled at first, but then returned my embrace, whispering into my hair, "If ever there´s anything, anything all, don´t be afraid to call your old man. He might not be the centre of the universe anymore, but he still loves you and wants to help."

"I know," I answered softly, inhaling the so familiar scent of tobacco, aftershave and my father. "I love you, too."

We stood like that for a few moments, then broke apart, both of us feeling a little self-conscious. "Well…" I looked at my watch. "I´m sure to be late now, Paige´s going to kill me."

"Oh, she´ll survive," my father grinned, stepping away as I opened the car door. "Drive carefully."

I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes and exclaimed good-naturedly, "Dad, you have been telling me that every time you have seen me get into a car since I was eighteen. Don´t you think I know how to drive properly by now?"

"Hey! I´m your father, I never get too old to tell you that, and you never get too old to hear it. So…" He smiled, giving me a pointed look, "Drive carefully."

I just shook my head, but then smiled, knowing that in spite of my objections I didn´t mind one bit.

The last weekend in January I had planned to use to introduce Terri to the wonderful world of opera. She didn´t, despite a great love of almost any kind of music, seem to be too taken with that particular genre, but since I knew she loved anything dramatic I felt confident she would grow to like this one, too. I had gotten us tickets to Aida, one of my personal favourites, and Terri had without complaints agreed to come with me. On the condition, though, that she would be the one to choose the next concert we went to, and in spite of my better judgement, and Terri´s wicked grin, I said yes.

However, the evening before we were meant to go, Terri called me to say she couldn´t make it. Nicola had called and apparently she was having some kind of romantic crisis and was in need of a friend and a shoulder to cry on.

My immediate reaction was, "Oh…" The next was, "I see…" And the third, "Okay… If you´re needed somewhere else…"

Needless to say, I wasn´t happy.

The thing was that although I had only met Nicola that one time and although Terri rarely ever mentioned her, I felt an unpleasant stab of jealousy every time I thought of her. I knew it was silly and that I shouldn´t be feeling that way. After all, you can hardly expect the person you love not to have had any lovers before you, and the only important fact was that Terri was with me now. But in the back of my mind the nagging knowledge lingered that Terri had loved Nicola; that the only reason they had broken up - as significant as it of course was - was that Nicola wasn´t gay. It wasn´t because they had fallen out of love or, more importantly, that Terri had fallen out of love.

And truth be told, I didn´t really know what her feelings for her were now. I could probably have convinced myself Terri felt nothing more than friendship if it hadn´t been for a few casual remarks she uttered a day or two after my father had dropped by. She had been complaining about something stupid Alison had done and I grinned at her, asking why she kept helping her out if she was so impossible. Terri only shrugged, saying she had promised Nicola to look out for her little sister and that that was the only reason she put up with Alison´s antics.

"So…" I had asked from where I was standing behind the couch. "You´re basically doing all this for Nicola, not Alison?"

"Yes," Terri answered absently, switching on the TV. "Alison has always been real good at getting herself into trouble, and since Nicola can´t be here, she asked me to have an eye on her."

"But you don´t like Alison. You think she´s a spoiled brat."

"So?" Terri had turned to look at me, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything? It´s not for her I´m doing it."

Needless to say, I wasn´t totally happy about that either.

I ended up with telling Terri that I was disappointed she couldn´t go to the opera with me, but that of course I understood she had to be there for Nicola. After I hung up, I ate enough ice cream to make myself sick and then called Paige to hear if she was interested in coming with me instead. She was, she had just ended things with Mike, and we spent a very pleasant evening at her place afterwards, getting drunk and complaining about insensitive and selfish boy/girlfriends.

"Jesus!"

I smiled, pausing briefly in my ministrations. It never ceased to amaze me how religious Terri could become under certain circumstances.

"Fuck! That´s good!"

"I know, baby," I spoke huskily against the soft skin of her thigh, trying to rein in some control. "It feels good from here, too."

I resumed my task, grinning inwardly when I felt Terri´s legs tremble as she tried to keep herself upright. Her back was pressed flat against the kitchen door and her hands clawed impotently at the wall, trying to grasp hold of something that could steady her. Spreading her legs to balance herself better, she gasped loudly when I used the opportunity to push her jeans further down thus supplying me with more room to play with my questing tongue and fingers.

"Please…" She whimpered as I began to suck harder and my fingers slipped inside without difficulties. "Sarah…"

A wave of smug satisfaction washed over me. It was so seldom Terri allowed herself to beg for anything. She usually always attempted to stay in control, no matter how much I tried to persuade her otherwise.

"It´s okay, baby. You know I´m not going anywhere."

She didn´t answer, but only groaned as I added an extra finger, her right hand reaching down to tangle in my hair and pressing me closer. I picked up my pace, the shaking of Terri´s legs telling me they might give in before she did and I didn´t want that. I had taken her completely by surprise when she walked in, roughly pushing her against the door and pulling her trousers down, but her surprise had quickly turned to pleasure and I intended to finish this with a grand finale. Besides, the kitchen floor wasn´t exactly comfortable and my knees were killing me.

A loud gasp interrupted my jumbled line of thought and Terri´s body stiffened, her inner muscles convulsing around my fingers. She threw her head back, hitting the door rather hard, but she didn´t seem to notice as she rode out her climax, the grip in my hair becoming almost painful. Then gradually her body went limp and she began to slide down, her sweat soaked t-shirt leaving a faint trace of moisture behind.

Giving her room to sit down, I then moved back in and wrapped my arms around her, pulling my still panting lover close to me.

A few minutes passed with neither of us speaking, then Terri cleared her throat and spoke hoarsely, "Do you always greet people like that?"

I laughed, placing a kiss on the top of her head, "Only the ones I like."

"I see…" I could feel her smile against my skin as she began to nuzzle my neck. "Bet you´re very popular."

"You have no idea." I tilted my head, giving her better access. Her slow caresses were beginning to affect me and my body still hummed with unreleased tension. "Actually, it´s always been a fantasy of mine, having you like this."

"Oh really?" She pulled away slightly to look into my eyes, an intrigued expression on her face. "You planned this?"

I blushed a little, then smiled, "Well, not as such, but well… You were gone three days, that´s a lot of time to go and think of someone and what you would like to do to them when they return."

"Ah…" Terri grinned broadly. "Now I get it! You got all horny thinking about me."

I gave her a mock frown, trying to look offended. "I was no such thing. I only spent the time thinking up several scenarios in which I could show you how much you were missed, how much I appreciate you being back, and how happy I am to see you again."

"Ergo, you were horny."

I just smiled enigmatically, not wanting to admit to that, or to the fact that maybe, just maybe, in my mind I had been competing with the ghost of the blond teenage girl Terri used to love.

And then I had no time to think any further as it was Terri´s turn to make me call out the names of various deities.

Continued in Part 6.