Sex: Yup.

Violence: That too.

Angst: Probably.

This story is going to be slightly long, but I promise it´ll be updated frequently. (There´s nothing worse than having to wait, is there?) Okay, since all that´s been taken care of, I´ll just shut up and let the tale begin. Comments are welcome at: dayze11@hotmail.com

Copyright © 1999 by Day

Part 6

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Mickey?" A gentle shaking caused the blonde´s eyelashes to flutter. "Hey, Mickey? It´s time for you to get up."

"Wha-what…?" Mickey resisted the urge to return to oblivion, greatly aided by the warm breath on her skin and Jo´s voice in her ear. "What time is it?"

"It´s almost six, you´re gonna be late."

"Oh, damn," Mickey opened her eyes reluctantly and found that the room was almost as dark as with her eyes closed, and that she could barely make out Jo´s head, outlined against the faint light from a single candle on the table. "I could swear, I remembered to set the alarm."

"The power´s off, that´s why," Jo replied, her voice hoarse and thick from sleep. She hitched herself up on her right elbow and regarded Mickey calmly, "I couldn´t find a flashlight so I used a candle instead. Hope that´s okay."

"Yeah, sure, that´s fine," Mickey spoke slowly as the disorientation and grogginess left her mind and the events from the last night came back with a vengeance, and she suddenly realized that she was lying in bed, naked, with a very naked Jo beside her and a pleasant soreness in her body.

For a moment she just took in the sight of the somewhat weary but nonetheless relaxed face close to hers and the adorable tousled black hair, just barely resisting the impulse to reach out and ruffle it further. Not quite certain how the lieutenant would react, or how she would react to anything else Mickey might want to do. Her eyes strayed to meet Jo´s who was regarding her patiently with a friendly, if a little distant, expression on her face.

"Aren´t you getting up?"

Mickey shook her head imperceptibly, trying to clear her mind, "Oh, right, the clinic." She sighed heavily, closing her eyes and stretching lazily. She wasn´t in the mood for going to work today and it wasn´t at all because it was dark and cold and, if the sound from the window was anything to go by, raining cats and dogs outside as well. No, the real reason for her reluctance was that she didn´t want to leave Jo. Or the bed. Or Jo and the bed.

All she wanted was to reach out and pull Jo into her arms while her mouth did its best to consume her´s. Just like she had done last night. Just like they had both done last night. How they had touched and kissed for so long that Mickey thought she´d die from want before they had begun to move together in a first gentle, but then more and more urgent rhythm until they´d both found release in each other´s arms.

Mickey quickly opened her eyes again, feeling a flood of desire rushing through her as the pictures in her mind caused her body to remember in vivid detail what had transpired between them in the night.

She saw and felt Jo shift lightly in the bed beside her, the lieutenant obviously a bit perturbed by the intense study she was subjected to and some of the exaltation left Mickey again as she gave Jo a calming smile and sat up, draping the covers over her.

"Well," Mickey said quietly as she climbed out of the bed, doing her utmost not to touch Jo in the process, "I better get to it." She sighed deeply as she walked over the ice-cold floor towards the tiny bathroom, "I guess it´s another cold shower for me today."

"Looks like it," Jo commented and as Mickey glanced back, she saw Jo bending and then kneeling completely naked beside the bed, searching for her clothes in the darkness.

Mickey swallowed, then hurried straight into the bathroom.

***************

Silent and lost in thought, they were waved past the checkpoint at the wall and entered the Slums, both subconsciously grimacing and breathing carefully until they´d adjusted to the harsh smell of garbage and burned rubber. Something that seemed to be as much part of the Slums as the empty and dilapidated buildings towering above them and the cracked and dirty asphalt under their feet.

Jo had insisted on accompanying Mickey to the clinic, claiming that she had nothing better to do. Mickey hadn´t been sure whether she should be pleased by that remark or not, but had acquiesced without any argument, choosing to interpret it as Jo´s slightly brusque and inept way of showing affection.

And that it was. Of that she was certain now. Almost. That, in her own exasperating way, the silent lieutenant walking closely beside her cared. Cared what happened to her and that she was safe. Otherwise, Mickey couldn´t understand why Jo would get up in the middle of the night and head out into the rain and darkness just to escort an old acquaintance to work, because, truth be told, Mickey wasn´t so sure that she and Jo were friends anymore.

She knew they had been once, back in Vega, but now she had no idea what they were or weren´t to each other, and the fact that they´d slept together only served to make it all even more confusing.

Mickey knew only too well that Jo didn´t need to be emotionally involved to go to bed with someone, her behaviour last night had proved that beyond any doubt. Also, Jo had acquired quite a reputation the last few months before she left for Neo Roma. A reputation that had reached even a small, sleepy town in the middle of nowhere and whether she was aware of it or not, or even cared, Iris Messina´s right hand had been the topic of more than one conversation between both scandalized and intrigued students, all wondering how much of it was true. As had Mickey. Silently and secretly when nobody was around to witness it.

As they had been getting ready to leave that morning, the atmosphere between them hadn´t been awkward as Mickey had feared and almost expected it to be, and Jo didn´t seem to have any regrets concerning what they´d done. However, she didn´t appear to be particularly affected by it either. In fact, the lieutenant had acted pretty much like usual and aside from the fact that she seemed to be a little more at ease in Mickey´s presence, the blonde hadn´t been able to tell any difference at all. Jo had been distant, yet friendly, and hadn´t mentioned anything of importance, but only commented on the weather and the cold.

That had left Mickey equally relieved and disappointed. One part of her would have liked Jo to somehow acknowledge or say something about last night, if only to give her some clue as to how she was supposed to react, while another part couldn´t help but think that the lieutenant´s silence probably was for the best. That Jo was most likely doing her a favour.

However, as much as Mickey tried to play down the importance of the last twenty-four hours, thereby steeling herself for a possible and, she admitted unhappily, probable rejection, she found herself unable and unwilling to forget the tenderness Jo had showed her last night. The gentle touches and kisses, her patience and obligingness, her understanding Mickey´s need to touch, it all spoke volumes to Mickey about what might be going on in Jo´s mind. Perhaps speaking of a truth the lieutenant hadn´t acknowledged herself yet, a truth she might not even be aware of.

At least Mickey hoped that was the case or she was in for some serious heartbreak, and she knew that if that happened, she couldn´t afford to let Jo in again. Couldn´t afford to have her in her life. Not even as a friend.

Mickey swallowed hard a few times, her gaze locked on the ground ahead of her. She couldn´t risk meeting Jo´s eyes or the lieutenant would be able to tell everything that was going on in her heart, and Mickey knew Jo wasn´t ready to handle that. That she probably never would be.

She had long ago realized that Jo was less than perceptive when it came to people´s emotions and matters of the heart in general, and Mickey doubted that Jo knew her own heart any better which would explain some of her erratic behaviour.

If only you would give me a sign, she glanced quickly at Jo, sighing quietly when she noticed the remote expression in the blue eyes. If only you would give me some indication of what it is you want. Whether you want a lover or a friend, possibly both, or maybe neither. I´m getting so sick and tired of your mixed signals, Jo. This situation is tearing me apart and I have no defences against it. Surely you must realize that?

Mickey´s thoughts were halted as she received a brief smile from Jo who´d just noticed she was being watched. The smile was quickly replaced by her usual unreadable expression and she pulled her coat tighter around her, almost visibly drifting off again and staring straight ahead.

Mickey shook her head sadly, resignation and a little despair taking hold of her. She found that the depressing weather made a suitable background for her dark mood, and she shivered uncontrollably when a gust of cold rain hit her right in the face. She was cold, wet and perfectly miserable, but at least they´d reach the clinic soon and she could get out of the rain and have a cup of coffee before the first patients would arrive.

As to where Jo was heading afterwards, she didn´t give a damn.

Almost.

****************

At first Jo thought it was just the lousy weather and the dark and rapidly shifting shadows that´d put her on edge, but little by little she came to the conclusion it was more than that. A certain, familiar unease filled her body and as they reached the street leading to the clinic, she purposely moved a little closer to Mickey, her eyes searching their surroundings surreptitiously. There was no reason to let their watchers know they had been discovered.

They continued to walk down the street for a few minutes and Jo had almost started to believe that nothing would happen when three young men suddenly stepped out from an ally, blocking their way. One of them held an iron pipe in his hand, tapping it casually against his leg and another had a nasty looking chain slung over his shoulder. Whether the third was armed she couldn´t tell.

Without thought she reached out to roughly push Mickey behind her, silently cursing herself for not bringing a weapon. One should always be armed when entering the Slums. She didn´t even have her knife. She´d forgotten it back at Mickey´s place and hadn´t realized it was missing until they were well past the wall.

Throwing a glance backwards to make sure nobody was sneaking up on the them from behind, Jo took a step forward, her eyes searching out the pale and sickly looking man she assumed to be the leader of the gang.

"We don´t want any trouble and we don´t have any money or drugs to give you, so please step aside and let us pass."

"Why should we believe you?" He answered and pointed with the pipe towards Mickey who was partly hidden behind Jo. "We know she works with the old doctor. He got drugs and we want them. I´m sure if he hears we got his lovely assistant, he´ll be more than willing to part with a few pills."

"It´s for a good cause, after all. Namely us," the one with the chain supplied, grinning coldly and making the two others snicker in response.

Slowly they began to move closer, spreading out and Jo realized they intended to surround them. She was about to speak again when Mickey moved up to stand beside her, her body shivering a little but whether it was from the cold or fear Jo didn´t know.

"It´s true we have a small supply of drugs in the clinic, but it´s locked up and Doctor Lawrence won´t give it to you. Under any circumstances." Jo groaned inwardly. Did Mickey have to challenge them like that? The blonde inhaled quietly and then continued, "We need the drugs for the patients, the injured and the sick. People living here in the Slums just like you. Surely you don´t want to take that away from them?"

"Like we give a fuck." The young man with the pipe was now only a few yards away from them and the man with the chain was slowly moving towards Jo´s right, whereas the last was moving towards Mickey. "You´re gonna come with us now and tell the good doctor to hand over whatever he´s got, and if you all behave and don´t make trouble nobody will get hurt."

Standing perfectly still, Jo stared at his dirty and scarred face, mentally measuring him up. Apparently, he noticed the look in her eyes because suddenly he frowned and gestured for his comrades to halt their approach, and pointed a crooked finger at her, "You. Back away a little. I want you to move away from your little friend there."

"No," Jo stated simply.

"No?" He stared at her. "Do ya really think you got a choice? I´m trying to be kind here, so get the hell away from her and I might let her go once she´s fulfilled her purpose." His gaze brazenly studied Mickey´s body, "Or I might not, it´s not up to you anyway. So move it!"

Jo´s only reaction was to snort and continue to stare into his eyes. She appeared eerily calm to the man and it began to unnerve him a little. Her breathing was even and relaxed and the piercing eyes which were uncomfortably cool showed no fear, but only disgust, and if he wasn´t mistaken, contempt. He shifted uneasily, he wasn´t used to get that reaction from his victims.

When Jo still didn´t move the guy closest to Mickey lost his patience and reached out to grab her shoulder.

"Touch her and I´ll kill you."

The words had been spoken quietly, almost softly, but the icy edge to Jo´s tone was enough to stop him and his hand hung indecisively in the air, a few inches from Mickey´s shoulder. He glanced nervously back at his friend with the pipe who gestured impatiently, "What are you waiting for? Take her."

He reached out again, his fingers just grazing Mickey´s shoulder, but before the blonde had time to recoil, an arm yanked her away and Jo flew past her, the lieutenant´s fist slamming directly into the man´s throat. With a half strangled, half surprised groan he sank to his knees, eyes bulging in his head and hands clutching at his throat. For a second everybody was frozen as they watched the young man on the ground fighting to breathe. Listening to the shallow and rapid pants coming from his mouth as his face turning a sickly shade of blue.

Then Jo broke everybody´s trance by stepping forward and with a swift movement snapped his neck. Mickey gasped in horror, green eyes staring at Jo in disbelief then darting to the slumped body on the street.

Jo turned around slowly, meeting the paralyzed leader´s shocked gaze without blinking. "I told him not to touch her." She moved a few steps back to stand beside Mickey again, "The same will happen to anybody else who tries."

"Who… who the fuck are you?" He asked hoarsely, the iron pipe slipping from motionless fingers.

"Doesn´t matter," Jo spoke, her face impassive, showing no emotion whatsoever. "Just know that from now on, miss Renault here, Doctor Lawrence and everybody else associated to the clinic is under the Organisation´s protection. And I´ll personally deal with anybody who disregards this new policy, is that clear?"

The man didn´t answer, but just stared at her stupidly, trying to make some sense out of everything that had happened. It was supposed to have been a simple venture, a no risk thing, almost like taking candy from a baby. The blonde always walked alone to work. She always took the same route. It ought to have been so easy.

The Organisation? Could it really be? He´d never known them to have any interest in the Slums before, but… He felt a shiver crawl up his back as he recalled the cold businesslike efficiency with which the dark woman before him had killed Bastian. The Organisation was famous for creating callous killers and she most definitely seemed to fit into that category.

"Is that clear?" The voice was colder now, less patient. "I don´t want there to be any misunderstandings here."

He started to back away, trying not to look at the body of his friend, the oddly twisted neck and the unseeing glassy eyes. "Yes… Yes, it´s clear." He glanced at Nelson who was doing the same thing, the chain in his hand all but forgotten. For one long moment he kept his gaze fixated on the blonde´s protector, then he spun around and started to sprint down the street, knowing Nelson would be right on his heels.

Just as they turned the corner the dark woman´s voice rang through the air, making itself heard above the howling wind and the sirens, "Spread the word, will ya! She´s under protection! They all are!"

With a cold, slightly satisfied smirk, Jo turned around, only to see Mickey on her knees, throwing up violently in the gutter.

***************

"Mickey?" The blonde recoiled as Jo tried to touch her shoulder and she hesitantly took a few steps away from her, not knowing what to do. "Mickey… Are you all right?"

Mickey grimaced from the bitter taste of bile in her mouth, then wiped her face on her sleeve and gingerly got to her feet. She moved a few feet away from the gutter where she´d thrown up, but made sure to keep the distance between them. "Why," she whispered hoarsely, her eyes open wide in shock, "why did you do that?"

"He… He touched you," Jo stammered, somehow knowing that she´d done something terribly wrong, but not what. "I told him not to touch you. He didn´t listen."

There had been a touch of defensiveness in Jo´s voice, but what Mickey had noticed more than anything else was the genuine confusion on the lieutenant´s face, and the hurt, almost betrayed expression in her eyes.

"I only wanted to protect you."

"I have never asked you to kill for me, Jo. You killed that guy like he was some kind of animal!"

"He was an animal!" Jo retorted sharply, eyes narrowing dangerously as anger began to take hold of her. "What the hell do you think would´ve happened if I hadn´t been around? What do you think they´d have done to you? Do you think they´d have let you go? That they would´ve been satisfied with whatever Doctor Lawrence would give them? Do you?"

She stepped closer, forcing Mickey backwards. "Do you!? Do you, Mickey!? Let me tell you exactly what would´ve happened in case you don´t believe me. They´d have taken you away somewhere, they would have tied you up or just beaten you enough to stop resisting and then they would´ve raped you, Mickey! All three of them! And if you were luckily they might have killed you quickly afterwards, or maybe they´d just have left you there until you bled to death or somebody else came along to finish the job."

"You see," Jo moved forward again, closing in on Mickey until their bodies were close enough to touch, her threatening posture matching the blaze in her eyes. "That´s how it works in the Slums, that´s how people are."

Almost like a predator she detected the fear in Mickey´s body before she saw it in her eyes, and Jo knew instantly that she was the cause of it and not her words. However, she was unable to stop herself from continuing and somehow she found she didn´t care, that she was enjoying the confrontation. "People here lost their humanity years ago," the voice was lower now, but harsh and impersonal, "and nothing, not even an obsessed doctor and his naive assistant are going to give it back to them. Once you´ve lost that it can´t be reclaimed."

Mickey stiffened, colour draining from her face. "And where does that leave you, Jo? Did you show him compassion? Did you grant him mercy? Did you prove your own humanity?" She felt herself warming to the subject, getting caught up in the adrenaline rush of fear and anger. "You used to live here, too, remember!? You grew up here! The Slums were part of you and although you left, I think you forgot to take something with you on your way. Your soul. I think it´s still here!" Mickey gestured to the deserted buildings around them, the burned out cars and the ever existent garbage on the street. "Buried under all the filth and the concrete. Take a good look, Jo! It must be here and if you´re lucky you might find it before it´s too late and you´ve become just like them! That is, if you´re not one of them already."

She hadn´t meant to say that. Hadn´t meant to speak it out loud, but she had and as she looked at Jo, Mickey could tell that her words hat hit harder and wounded deeper than any weapon could have. The lieutenant´s face had gone white as a sheet. Wide open eyes stared at her and Jo´s lips were parted slightly as if she´d been about to say something. She was absolutely motionless expect from a small twitching of her hands and for a long, long moment Jo´s face was frozen in an expression of utter shock and disbelief, then it contorted into an inhuman grimace and for the briefest of seconds, a deep, all consuming despair showed in her eyes, then all trace of emotion vanished.

She swallowed unsuccessfully, then rasped, "You don´t mean that." Her voice sounding strangely pleading.

Mickey was hurting terribly inside, feeling like she´d delivered a mortal blow, but she´d been so shocked, so horrified by what she´d witnessed. If only Jo had killed him in anger, if it had been in a fight. She could´ve understood that, accepted it, even explained it and justified it to anybody who cared to listen. Jo was a soldier after all. A trained killer. It was to be expected, but the clinical detachment Jo had displayed snapping the young man´s neck terrified her. She didn´t remember ever being taught that in Vega 3.

Or were we? She desperately tried to recall what Pilot and Vivien had told them about combat and the necessity of sometimes taking lives, but she couldn´t remember the words which had made so much sense the first time she heard them. Were we taught not to feel?

She gazed into the lifeless blue eyes that until a moment ago had been filled with feelings of anger and betrayal, and suddenly she realized she was no longer angry at Jo or shocked. She was afraid. Not of her, but for her.

"You don´t mean that," Jo repeated hoarsely, ever so slightly backing away from Mickey. Then she spun on her heels and ran. Sprinting down the street without looking left or right just like she´d done once before so many years ago.

***************

Chapter Twenty-Five

Seven steps forward, seven steps back. Again and again. Jo angrily paced the concrete floor in the abandoned factory, her eyes two narrow slits, focused on nothing but the images in her mind.

The scene that had taken place earlier that day kept playing over and over in Jo´s head, and she felt rage grow rapidly and then fade again only to come back with full-blown force, stirring up the conflicting emotions inside her.

Jo stopped abruptly, staring at the wall in front of her. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood, but was too high strung to notice and subconsciously swallowed the coppery taste.

She exhaled slowly and deeply, her anger evaporating, leaving nothing but a cold numbness behind.

"Lieutenant?"

Jo spun around and was startled to see Frederic stand only a few yards away from her. She hadn´t heard him approach at all.

"Are you all right?"

Jo forced all thoughts of Mickey from her mind, letting discipline and professionalism take over. "I´m fine, Sergeant," she answered gruffly, angry with herself that Frederic had witnessed her distress. She couldn´t allow any of her men to see her weak. She had to be in charge, in control, at all times. "Are the rest on their way?"

The sergeant had been about to say something else, but he quickly recognized the change in his superior officer and knew from experience she wasn´t in the mood for small talk. "Yes, Corporal Pfizer and Sergeant Daniels should be here soon. However, both Lieutenant Wittner and Corporal Hansen couldn´t get away. Apparently, Hansen´s boss is starting to get suspicious, thinks he´s asking too many questions."

"I see," Jo spoke thoughtfully, going over Hansen´s assignment in her head and how valuable it was for the Organisation. Whether it was valuable enough to take the risk of him getting caught. "Keep me posted and if there´s the slightest indication that Hansen is about to be reported I want him out, immediately, and don´t wait for my permission, just do it. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma´am. Perfectly."

The sound of a door sliding open caught their attention and they turned to see two men dressed in casual clothing step inside. Sergeant Daniels walked directly over to them, giving Frederic a smile and Jo a respectful nod. The corporal followed immediately afterwards after having pushed the heavy sliding door back in place.

Jo suppressed a shiver, resisting the temptation to pull her jacket closer around her. Why did their meeting places always have to be so damn cold? She ran a tired hand through her hair and looked at her men, "Okay, anything to report? You first Frederic."

The next half our was spend with the agents briefing their leader about the latest developments. Both Pfizer and Daniels were working undercover in a large medical corporation controlled by the Council which specialized in biological weapons. First trying to create them and then attempting to develop an antidote afterwards. More often than not, they were more successful with the weapon than the cure.

The corporation also had a department with the single purpose of finding a cure for Reuma. So far they hadn´t been successful and the pill that had been used to keep the virus at bay for the last fifteen years had started to show a lesser effect on the most recent cases of the disease. A fact which of course had been kept away from the public.

Sergeant Frederic, however, was working his way through the military as a lowly private, trying to make himself useful and invaluable enough for him to get recommended to the Council´s elite corps which was the only way to get ahead in a system based on bribery and nepotism. His task was by far the most dangerous and were he to be caught it wasn´t a question whether he would die, but how. A fact the friendly and always smiling young man only acknowledged with a small shrug and another smile, saying that it was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.

Jo had volunteered for the assignment, pointing out she was by far more qualified than the sergeant, but Messina had refused her request, stating that she relied on Jo´s abilities as a leader and was confident that Frederic was up for the challenge. Jo had no doubt that he was. She just didn´t like her men taking on greater risks than she did herself and as unpleasant as her assignments so far might have been, her life hadn´t been in direct danger and if she´d been able to, she´d have switched with Frederic in a heartbeat. Gladly. However, as it often was these days, the decision wasn´t up to her.

"Okay, that sounds reasonable," Jo sighed and blew hot air on her hands, fighting the uncomfortable chill in her body after having been standing still for so long in the abandoned factory. "I want you to contact me instantly the moment you get the chance to meet the chief scientist, and Frederic, as I said earlier if Hansen gets more heat from his boss, get him out. Arrange for him to `die´ in an accident or something, you know the drill, and afterwards bring him to me and I´ll figure out whether he should be reassigned or leave the city." She paused for a moment, brow furrowing, "Oh right, there´s one more thing. A representative from our very own intelligence branch will be paying us a visit in a few days. I´ll let you know if your presence is required when I get the rest of the details."

"Do they have a special assignment for us?" Sergeant Daniels asked with interest and Jo gave him a dry grin while raising an eyebrow. "Hardly, Sergeant. They probably only want to check on us. Make sure we follow procedure and so. You know how they love to pay attention to details."

All the agents groaned, knowing exactly what their lieutenant meant.

"I wonder when they´re going to realize that you can´t do undercover work by the book," Pfizer grumbled to himself. "Don´t they realize the importance of improvisation?"

"Apparently not," Jo replied, rubbing her palms briskly. "Okay, that´s all for now. Let´s get out of here before we freeze to death."

One by one and with different intervals the agents began to leave the factory until only Jo was left. She took one last look around before she too disappeared out into the cold winter night, heading for her apartment in the city and later, the bottle of vodka under her bed.

***************

Jo caught herself straightening her shirt collar and she glared at her reflection in the mirror, angry at herself for trying so hard not to be affected and then fail miserably. With a weary sigh she gave herself one last look over, absently noting that in spite of the haggard look caused by too little sleep and too much stress, she would still be deemed beautiful. The thought made a wry smile show briefly on her face then she shook her head and left the bathroom.

Just as she´d collapsed down on the couch and made herself comfortable, she heard a quite tapping on her door. Filled with old, confusing emotions that hardly surprised her, but annoyed her nonetheless, she walked to the door and after a quick check through the peep-hole opened the door.

"Hi, Jo." Christa gave her a warm smile. "Long time no see."

Jo nodded and smiled half-heartedly in return before stepping back to allow the brunette into her apartment.

"Wow, not bad," Christa spoke approvingly, her eyes taking in the luxurious and well furnished apartment. "No wonder undercover work is so popular. This is quite a change from Vega 3, isn´t it?"

"Yeah well," Jo began, taking the brunette´s coat and after a brief hesitation placed it over a chair. "Not all agents live like this. In fact most live under worse conditions than we did."

"That may be," Christa replied mindlessly, taking a small tour of the living room and poking her head into the kitchen and bedroom, "but you most certainly got it made."

"If you say so," Jo answered noncommittally and sat down on the couch again. "Okay," she began as the brunette had finally satisfied her curiosity and come to sit on the couch beside her, "if you´d be so kind to get to the purpose of this meeting I´d appreciate it. I got plans for tonight."

"I bet you do," Christa gave her a mischievous wink, but then grew serious. "Okay, I´ll get to the point. This meeting is, as I´m sure you´ve guessed already, mainly just to check on our agents in Neo Roma, Make sure you´re doing your job and haven´t been tempted by anything the other side has to offer."

They were both silent for a minute. The Organisation had been betrayed by its own agents before and they both knew it would inevitably happen again. To some people the luxuries and pleasures of Neo Roma were simply too hard to withstand, especially since they´d never known such material richness before in their lives and occasionally the temptation had become too great with disastrous and deadly results for the rest of the Organisation´s agents. Which was why traitors were always dealt with in a swift and efficient way and there were no second chances. They couldn´t afford that.

Christa cleared her throat and met Jo´s eyes, "However, there´s also a more specific reason for my visit. The high and mighty at HQ want to know why you haven´t been inside Andreas Lingstrom´s house yet. You know as well as I do that President Anoldi is ailing and that Lingstrom is more than likely to be appointed his successor. Probably within the next year or two and a bug inside his house would be invaluable." She leaned back a little, studying Jo closely, "So I´ve been requested to ask you how that assignment is progressing and why you haven´t completed it yet."

"I´ve been busy," Jo said, hoping it didn´t sound as childish as she felt. "It took me a long time to gain his trust and I´m not going to blow that by pushing for an invitation to his house."

"Funny, from what I´ve heard you´ve never had any problems getting an invitation to somebody´s home," the brunette commented casually and Jo couldn´t shake the feeling she was being sized up rather blatantly. "You´re one of our most successful agents which is why we´re all slightly baffled by the delay."

Jo shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. "I´ll get to it. Tell them they don´t have to worry. I… I have been temporarily… occupied by… by a more… urgent issue, but that´s over now." She returned her gaze to Christa´s face, "He´s leaving the city to celebrate Christmas with relatives up north, but as soon as he returns I´ll take care of it. By the end of January, tops, the bug should be in place."

"Good," the brunette nodded. "I shall pass it on. HQ will be glad to hear it. Speaking of which," she reached into her cleavage, smiling inwardly when Jo´s eyes immediately dropped to the floor. "I have two letters for you." She pulled out two small envelopes and handed them to Jo who took them without looking at her. "One is from Basil and the other is from Iris Messina."

"Oh…" Jo frowned slightly. All her communication with Messina was electronic and she had never received a letter before. Shrugging imperceptibly she placed the two envelops on the table in front of the couch, deciding to read them once Christa had left.

For a few moments silence lingered between and to Jo it felt like they were both waiting for the other to speak. Then just as it was about to become awkward Christa spoke quietly, "So, how have you been, Jo? I didn´t get to see much of you at Basil´s graduation."

"I had to leave," Jo answered, staring intently at her hands. "I… I was called back."

"I see."

They fell quiet again and just as Jo had come to the conclusion that she was being silly and had raised her head to meet Christa´s eyes, the brunette spoke again, "I´m going to be in town for about a week." She paused lightly then continued, "I thought that if you have the time perhaps we could get together some time, reminisce about old days."

Jo looked at her for a moment, her face showing no emotion, then she gave her a pale and resigned, but still friendly smile, "I don´t think that would be a good idea, Christa. Some things are better left in the past."

The brunette moved a little closer, "I know, I hurt you, Jo, and for that I´m truly sorry, but it wasn´t all that bad, was it?"

Jo grinned reluctantly, "You know it wasn´t. We had some good times."

"We did, didn´t we?" Christa leaned forward then paused as if waiting for Jo´s reaction. When she didn´t get any, she closed the remaining distance between and softly kissed Jo´s lips. She moved back a little again, looking into clouded blue eyes, "We´re both older now, Jo, wiser. We know this isn´t about forever or lifelong companionship, it´s just about you and me and the pleasure we can bring each other. Surely you haven´t forgotten that?"

"No," Jo breathed, feeling her heart pick up a beat. "No, I haven´t."

"Would it be so wrong?" Christa kissed her again and this time Jo felt herself respond, her lips moving ever so slightly against the brunette´s.

She waited for the old flush of desire she´d always felt when Christa touched her, the old feelings of eagerness and the need to touch and posses to awaken, but slowly she realized they weren´t coming. By now she had been pushed back down on the couch and Christa was kissing her neck, the brunette´s hands running slowly and skilfully over her body. And it wasn´t uncomfortable, Jo concluded. It was pleasant, nice, but it wasn´t exciting and she wasn´t becoming aroused.

Christa must have felt it, too, because her kisses stopped and she lifted her head to gaze into Jo´s eyes. "Perhaps you´re right," she spoke quietly, "perhaps some things are better left in the past." She pushed herself off her and got to her feet where she regarded Jo in silence for a few seconds, the brown eyes warm if a little sad. "It was nice seeing you again, Jo. I wish you the best of luck for the future. Till we meet again."

Then she turned around and took her coat from the chair and as she left the apartment and heard the door close behind her, she couldn´t help but wonder whether she´d made the wrong decision all these years ago.

For a long time Jo remained absolutely still on the couch, caught up in old memories, then she smiled faintly and reached out to take Basil´s letter, smiling again when she began to read.

***************

"So when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." Christa accepted the steaming mug Mickey offered her and sipped carefully to avoid burning her tongue on the hot coffee. "I´ve been in Neo Roma for about a week and everything´s been taken care of, so now it´s time for me to head back."

"I don´t suppose you can tell me why you were here?" Mickey asked with a wry smile.

Christa smiled in return, shifting slightly on the blonde´s couch, "Do you really want to know?"

Mickey´s smile faded a little and she spoke quietly, "Probably not."

It was late Sunday night and Mickey had just been about to go to bed when she´d heard knocking on the door and had been pleasantly surprised to find Christa on her doorstep. She hadn´t seen her friend since Basil´s graduation and although they tried to keep in touch both were too busy to keep up a proper correspondence.

However, it hadn´t taken them long to pick up where they had left and they´d had a nice evening talking about old days and Mickey´s work since Christa was unable, and prohibited, to say much about her own career and had only mentioned that it was very interesting and that she got to travel a lot, but that it included a grotesque amount of paperwork which frankly was driving her crazy.

It hadn´t taken them long before they´d arrived at more personal matters and Christa had told that she´d been seeing one of her colleagues for a few weeks whenever they happened to find themselves in the same place. Mickey had asked whether it was something serious and the brunette had laughed, saying that she hadn´t had a serious relationship in her life and wasn´t about to begin one now. She had her career to think of and wasn´t about to be tied down by any emotional bonds.

To Christa´s question whether there was someone in Mickey´s life, she´d answered that she was too busy to have much of a social life and besides she wasn´t really that keen on having a relationship right now. She was doing just fine on her own.

Christa took another sip of her now cooler coffee, regarding Mickey thoughtfully over the brim and the blonde couldn´t help but squirm a little under the thorough study, not quite comfortable with where the conversation was heading.

"So since you broke up with Dane, there hasn´t been anybody else?"

Mickey shook her head, "No, as I said I´m quite happy being on my own. It´s nice, comfortable."

"Uh huh," was the brunette´s reply, brown eyes still studying Mickey closely. "Do you still love him? Is that why you haven´t been seeing anybody?"

"No," Mickey smiled faintly. "Dane´s very dear to me and I care about him a great deal, but I don´t love him. Not like that anyway."

"Why did you guys split up if you don´t mind me asking?" Christa regarded Mickey curiously. "You never told me why and to be honest I was quite surprised. I thought you made such a perfect couple. Everybody did."

"Yeah, I know," Mickey sighed tiredly, looking away. "I guess it just wasn´t meant to be. Sometimes things just don´t work out."

"So there wasn´t any particular reason for the break-up?"

Christa seemed neither judgmental nor nosy, just mildly curious and Mickey suddenly felt the need to tell, if not all, then some of the things that had happened. She hadn´t been able to confide in anybody until then since the only other person who was aware of the circumstances was Dane, and Mickey knew it wouldn´t be fair to seek his advise or ask for his opinion. He had suffered enough because of her.

She hoped that maybe Christa would be able to make some sense of it all. She hadn´t heard from Jo since the incident in the Slums and she couldn´t help but worry about her, knowing only too well how volatile and reckless she could be. On the other hand she was also fed up with the ever-present turmoil inside her and repeatedly going through an emotional roller-coaster whenever Jo came into the picture. More than once she´d caught herself wishing she´d never laid eyes on the infuriating lieutenant, thinking her life would have been so much more peaceful without her. However, whenever she forced herself to be completely honest, she knew she wouldn´t trade those rare good moments with Jo away for anything in the world in spite of all the pain in between.

It still hurt thinking about what they could´ve had, or, as she admitted to herself, what she believed they could´ve had. It had always been rather one-sided she was aware of that, but she had always considered herself a very patient person and she had been willing to wait and see if Jo wouldn´t come around, or at least give an indication that she might eventually. However, after six years even Mickey´s patience was wearing thin and she was starting to resign herself to the fact that the one night she´d had with Jo and the occasional signs of friendship were all she´d ever get. It wasn´t what she´d wanted, it wasn´t what she´d hoped for, but if that was all she could get then there was absolutely nothing she could do about.

"Did Jo ever say she loved you?"

Christa blinked, startled by the non sequitur after the long silence then she shook her head, "Uh, no. Words have never been Jo´s strong suit. Why do you ask?"

Mickey ignored Christa question, "But she did love you, didn´t she? I mean, when you were together back in Vega. She was in love with you?"

"Well…" Christa still looked slightly confused, but apparently decided to play along for the moment. "Yes, I suppose she was." She was silent for a few seconds, her eyes distant with memories then she nodded, more to herself than Mickey, "Yes, Jo did love me. At least as much as she was capable of loving anybody at that time."

"But how did you know," Mickey continued, not quite capable of hiding the eagerness in her voice. "How did you know when she never said anything?"

Christa looked at friend for a moment, surprise and then dawning understanding creeping onto her face and she gave Mickey a gentle smile, "She would do things instead. Give me small presents, help me out whenever I needed it, do stuff for me. That kind of thing. I think that was the only way she could show affection, let me know that she cared. Jo´s too awkward with feelings, her own and anybody else´s, to say them out loud. Of course I can´t tell it that´s still the case," she paused, meeting Mickey´s gaze, "but… but maybe you can…?"

Mickey was silent for a long time, looking into the brunette´s eyes then she took a deep breath and spoke slowly, "Jo was the reason for our break-up. I mean, it was just as much my fault, I was a willing participant, but if it had been anybody else it wouldn´t have happened."

Christa sighed inaudibly and reached out to take Mickey´s hand into hers. "It´s… it´s always been Jo, hasn´t it?" she asked quietly. "Ever since Vega."

It wasn´t really a question and Mickey could only nod, fighting the tears she was adamant not to shed. She had wasted too many tears over Jo already.

"I can´t believe I didn´t see it," Christa continued softly, shaking her head increduously. "How could I´ve been so blind! I´m supposed to be your best friend and I couldn´t even tell that you were in love with her."

"Would it have changed anything?" Mickey asked gently, finally getting her emotions under control. "You wanted Jo too, and what might or might not have happened doesn´t really matter since she chose you." Mickey smiled bitterly, but squeezed Christa´s hand to show she meant no harm, "Jo was crazy about you, you know that. Even, which I had no right to expect mind you, even if you had backed down, Jo only had eyes for you and hardly noticed I was around."

"That´s not quite true," Christa interjected lightly. "Jo´s always liked you and I´m sure she still does."

"Maybe…" Mickey replied wearily. "It´s possible I suppose, but I sure as hell can´t tell anymore. She´s more erratic than ever. I have no idea of what´s going on in her head."

Christa had begun to realize that there was more to the story than what Mickey had told her, but decided to let it pass. Mickey would tell her when she was ready and Christa knew from herself that Jo could have quite an affect on people. In the week she had been in Neo Roma she had thought a lot about the lieutenant and had been tempted to pay her another visit, but had then, with a certain sense of melancholy, come to acknowledge that nothing lasts forever and that she and Jo were in the past. It had been fun while it lasted, but it would never happen again.

"Maybe she doesn´t know it herself," she spoke pensively then added when she saw the bewilderment on Mickey´s face, "what´s going on in her head. Maybe Jo doesn´t know it herself and that´s why she reacts the way she does. Jo can be incredibly dense when the mood strikes her. I remember I practically had to shove her against the wall and kiss her senseless before she dared to believe I was interested in her, totally oblivious to the subtle and not so subtle hints I´d given her for the last five weeks."

Mickey laughed in spite of herself, shaking her head in mild exasperation, "Yeah, I could imagine."

They were silent for a moment then Christa asked, letting go of Mickey´s hand and leaning back in the couch, "So, what are you gonna do?"

"What can I do?" Mickey replied sadly, but smiling nonetheless. "I´m tired of waiting, getting my hopes crushed on a regular basis and yet I don´t seem to be able to prevent myself from doing it. I guess I´m just a lost case."

"You probably are," Christa smiled affectionately. "But that´s what I love about you, so don´t you go changing on me."

"Oh, I´ll do my best not to," Mickey promised solemnly then continued with a small grin, "but if Jo keeps being so damn annoying I might just solve the entire problem by ripping her head off."

"Well, that would most certainly solve it, but it would be such a waste of a good body, don´t you think?."

They looked at each other for about two seconds then began to laugh and they continued to do so for the next few minutes.

***************

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jo was drunk. She was so plastered that she was unable to see, walk, much less think straight which of course didn´t prevent her from trying to do it anyway. She wasn´t quite sure what had possessed her to stand outside Mickey´s apartment building for the last couple of hours, freezing her arse off. And if it hadn´t been for the bottle that conveniently fitted into her leather jacket the cold would have driven her home a long time go.

The few people walking by her, all hurrying to get inside and out of the cold night, shot her wary and suspicious looks, not feeling she belonged into their carefully ordered and controlled world. Jo had ignored them all except for a young man who´d tried to strike up a conversation with her. She had given him such an evil glare that he´d left in a hurry and Jo had found the entire thing vaguely amusing until the moment he turned the corner and she took another gulp from the bottle, instantly forgetting she had ever been approached.

To be honest, she wasn´t exactly sure what she was doing there or why. She suspected it might have something to do with the small packet burning a hole in her pocket, and the fact that it was Christmas Eve and that she was feeling miserable without being able to tell why. It wasn´t like she even knew whether Mickey was home or not. Maybe she was celebrating Christmas with the doctor and his family, having a good time somewhere where it was warm and cosy. They were probably even going to sing a psalm or two.

She snorted in disgust then suddenly became aware that it had begun to snow and that her body was shivering uncontrollably and no matter what she tried she couldn´t make it stop. The one small part of her brain still functioning informed that she had to get inside or she would end up with an pneumonia or worse. On unsteady legs she walked to the entrance of the building, took one look at the locked door and the various buttons and name plates beside it before she with a precise kick, kicked it open. Immediately a loud and piercing alarm filled the night, echoing all the way through the deserted building and Jo wrinkled her nose absently, her foggy mind not quite capable of connecting the sound with what she had just done.

She continued forward, but discovered to her annoyance that the power to the lift had been shut off the moment the alarm started, and that she would have to take the stairs if she wanted to get up. With a deep sigh she proceeded to do just that.

Several minutes later her breathing had grown ragged and sweat was slowly forming on her forehead. She was surprised that the relative light physical exertion was affecting her so much since it was nothing compared to what she was used to, but then came to the conclusion that not having had anything to eat for the last two days might have something to do with it. Put together with the fact that she hadn´t slept either and had been drinking far too much.

I´ve gotta stop doing that. My body can´t handle it, she thought absent-mindedly, the thought barely registering before it was gone.

Suddenly she found herself at the eleventh floor and pushed the door into the hallway open. The alarm had finally stopped and she assumed it wouldn´t be long before the police or the building´s security personnel arrived.

With a hand on each wall to steady herself and prevent herself from keeling over she covered the short distance to Mickey´s door and there she stopped, not having a single idea what to do next. It began to dawn upon her that she might not have thought it all through and that she might just have made a serious miscalculation. If she was arrested, her cover would fall to pieces and she would be on the next transport to St. Peter´s Prison where she would be most thoroughly interrogated, and then executed for treason and terrorist acts against the Realm.

Jo slumped down on Mickey´s doorstep, her head connecting painfully with the door without her noticing. She pulled out the small bottle to have another drink, but realized it was empty and put it back into her pocket. She vaguely heard voices from below, seemingly coming from far, far away and she closed her eyes when in that exact moment, the door opened and she fell backwards with a startled cry.

Lying on her back, staring directly at the figure towering above her, it took a few seconds before her vision cleared enough for her to see properly, then she grinned crookedly and slurred, "Hey Mickey! Fancy meeting you here!"

***************

Wincing as her bare feet touched the cold floor, Mickey silently padded out into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her. Flicking on the light, she then turned on the water and watched it flow out of the tap and she let out a deep sigh of relief when a small cloud of steam indicated that the warm water had returned. Cold showers might be healthy, but she preferred having a choice in the matter.

She brushed her teeth and then turned on the shower, deciding to take advantage of the water while she had the chance. She slipped out of her pyjamas and stepped into the shower, relishing the hot sting of the water on her skin. For about a second she considered hurrying in order to save some of the hot water for Jo in case she wanted to shower too, but with a wicked grin she decided not to. After all the trouble Jo had caused her last night, a bit of cold water would only serve the lieutenant right.

She hadn´t really been able to tell why, but from the moment she had heard the alarm go off, Mickey had felt that it had something to do with her. When she had heard the low thud against her door, she had climbed out of bed without hesitation and as she opened the door and found Jo lying sprawled all over her doorstep, she couldn´t really claim to be particularly surprised. Somehow it seemed fitting.

It would´ve been funny if she hadn´t heard the hurried steps coming up the stairs and she had tried to pull Jo to her feet, but the lieutenant had been too heavy and too uncooperative and she´d had to settle for dragging her over the threshold into her apartment. She had barely managed to close the door before she heard voices outside in the hallway, and for a couple of very long seconds she´d held her breath, straining to hear what was going on, but then to her great relief she´d heard the steps continue up the stairs and then fade as they disappeared out of earshot.

She had turned around to look down at Jo who was still lying on the floor, bloodshot eyes unsuccessfully trying to focus on her. Knowing she wouldn´t be able to get a sensible word out of her for the next couple of hours, Mickey had half carried, half dragged Jo to bed, ignoring the lieutenant´s half-hearted complaints and protests that she didn´t need any help.

She had been concerned about Jo´s low body temperature and clammy skin, but there hadn´t really been anything she could do aside covering her with an extra sweater she had and then tuck her under the covers, hoping that would be sufficient to stop the lieutenant from shivering and her teeth from chattering.

Drawing a chair near, she had watched Jo who in spite of her drunkenness seemed reluctant to relax and had stared at her intently, brow furrowing as if trying to remember something.

"You still mad at me?"

"What?" Mickey had been dozing lightly waiting for Jo to fall asleep before she joined her in the bed and hadn´t quite heard the low question.

"I asked if you were still mad at me?" Jo had repeated with drunken stupor and it became clear to Mickey that neither of them would get any sleep at all before she had attempted to smoothen things out. Too tired to get into a real discussion she´d just smiled wearily and shaken her head, "No, Jo. I´m not mad at you. Go to sleep."

"Good," the lieutenant had mumbled, more to herself than Mickey and her eyes had left the blonde´s face for a moment then they returned. "I´m sorry I killed him," she paused, her brow furrowing further as she continued thoughtfully, "no, that´s not true. I´m not sorry I killed him, but I´m sorry I upset you."

"It´s okay," Mickey had replied tiredly, strangely touched by the sincerity in Jo´s voice and too exhausted to contemplate the entire statement. "I know you only did what you thought was best."

Jo had nodded enthusiastically, "That´s right! I thought it was best." Then the movements of her head had registered and she had groaned, her face losing all colour. "Remind me not to do that again."

"I will," Mickey had promised with a smile then glanced at her watch. An hour past midnight, she was going to be a wreck in the morning if she didn´t get any sleep. "Do you think you can sleep now, Jo? You need it."

The lieutenant had regarded her for a few moments, "You sure you´re not mad at me?"

"I´m sure, Jo, but I will be if you don´t close those pretty eyes of yours and try to sleep."

Jo had given her a pleased smirk, "You think I got pretty eyes?"

Mickey had buried her face in her hands and groaned in exasperation, "Just go to sleep, will you!?"

"Only if you join me."

"Jo…"

"I won´t sleep unless you do."

She had raised her head and looked into slightly petulant blue eyes, then tossed her hands up in surrender and sighed deeply, giving Jo a pointed but good-humoured look, "Do you promise to behave?"

A satisfied smile had appeared on Jo´s face and she had scooted closer to the wall to allow Mickey more room, "I always behave. I´m a soldier, ya know. We always do what we´re told."

"Yeah right." Mickey had gotten into bed, secretly thankful to get under the warm covers again. She had begun to freeze sitting on the chair in nothing but her pyjamas. "Now close you eyes, Soldier, and go to sleep."

To her utter shock Jo had completely disregarded the small distance between them she had so carefully tried to establish and had snuggled close, a very strong and very determined arm snaking around her waist, clearly stating that this wasn´t a point to be argued.

"I´ve got something for you," Jo had whispered sleepily into her ear, oblivious to the sudden tension in Mickey´s body. "I wanted to get you something real nice, something special, but I couldn´t think of anything."

"Oh…?" Mickey had breathed, inhaling a mix of leather and alcohol while trying to relax with Jo now lying half on top of her and guess where the lieutenant´s muddled thoughts were leading her. "You mean like a… a present?"

"Mmm-hmm, it´s Christmas after all." Jo had sighed in contentment, fingers absently playing with the fabric of Mickey´s pyjamas for a moment before a warm hand slipped underneath to come to rest on smooth skin, "I did get something, but it´s not what I wanted. I´ll try to get you something better for your birthday."

"Oh… Oh, that´s quite all right, Jo. You don´t have to do that," Mickey had managed to get out, fighting the sensual havoc Jo´s innocent motions were creating inside her. "You don´t have to give me anything."

However, she hadn´t received an answer because Jo had chosen that moment to finally close her eyes and fall asleep.

And a good thing that was, Mickey smiled a tad guiltily at her reflection in the mirror as she stepped out of the shower. Otherwise, I would´ve been the one trying to take advantage of the situation.

She quickly dried off and dressed then stepped out of the bathroom, curious to find out whether Jo was still asleep. She wasn´t. As Mickey came into the room her eyes fell on a very awake and decidedly embarrassed looking lieutenant shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

***************

"Ah…" Jo cleared her throat a few times. "I´m… I´m sorry about… about last night. I´m not sure what came over me."

"No problem," Mickey gave her a reassuring smile, not trying to hide the amusement in her voice. She sat down on a chair and began to put on her shoes, "But the next time you decide to pay me an impromptu visit you better ring the bell instead of kicking the door in." She ignored Jo´s low groan and continued with a small smirk, "You were lucky it was Christmas Eve and the police didn´t decide to make a thorough house search, going from door to door to see if the intruder was still in the building."

She gave Jo a stern look that was softened by the twinkling of her eyes and got a wry smile in return.

"I´m sorry. I… I don´t know why…" Jo trailed off, staring at the sheets for a few seconds then met Mickey´s eyes, "I´m sorry. It won´t happen again. I guess I just had a bit too much to drink last night."

Mickey who had just finished tying her shoes, hesitated slightly before she rose from the chair and stepped over to get her coat from the peg next to the front door. Without turning around she spoke softly, "It´s okay for you to come visit me, Jo. Actually I would like that, just don´t set off any alarms the next time."

There was silence for a moment and Mickey inadvertently held her breath then she heard Jo answer, "Okay… I´ll keep that in mind."

She turned around and their gazes met. For several seconds they looked into each other´s eyes, both unknowingly searching for something then they simultaneously looked away.

"I have to go now," Mickey buttoned her coat, glancing at her watch and then the door.

Jo nodded and slowly climbed out of the bed. For the first time she noticed that she was still wearing both her boots and jacket, but decided not to say anything. She was embarrassed enough as it was already. Then she felt something in her right pocket and after a brief internal debate she pulled out a small packet. For a few seconds she held in indecisively in her hands then she looked up at Mickey who was watching her calmly.

"I… I got…" She stopped herself and just offered the small packet to the blonde. "Merry Christmas."

Mickey studied the packet in Jo´s hand for a moment then she reached out and took it. "Do you want me to open it now?" Jo nodded, "Yeah, it… it´s… Yes." She took a step back, blue eyes keenly watching Mickey as she began to unwrap the present.

As the last piece of paper fell to the floor Mickey found herself with a small box in her hands, her eyes widening as she read the label on the lid, "Antibiotics! Oh my God, Jo! Where in the world did you get that?"

Antibiotics were ridiculously expensive and impossible to purchase if you didn´t have the right prescription from the right doctor and thus were off limits to the four fifth of the population that didn´t belong to the privileged upper class. Even on the black marked it was extremely hard to come by and Doctor Lawrence had often complained about the unfairness of such a simple remedy, that would lighten his task tremendously, being limited to the one group of people who didn´t really need it.

"I… I…" Jo began, feeling inordinately pleased by Mickey´s reaction. "I pulled a few strings. I know it´s not very… very…" She stopped abruptly, not certain what it was she had wanted to say. "I… I just thought you might need it," she then finished quietly.

"Jo, it´s wonderful!" Mickey was still staring at the small box in disbelief. "You have no idea how many times these last couple of months we could have prevented small injuries and fevers to become deadly if we had had this! God, this is so great! I can´t believe it!"

Without thought Mickey threw her arms around Jo and not until she felt the lieutenant tense did she realize what she had done. She tried to pull away, but was surprised to feel Jo´s arms slipping around her, carefully keeping her in the embrace.

"I´m glad you like it," she heard Jo mumble into her hair. "I… I originally wanted to give you something that… that was just for… well, you, but I… I couldn´t think of something. So I chose this instead."

Mickey exhaled quietly, allowing herself to relax and enjoy the feel of Jo´s firm body pressed against hers. "This is a great gift, Jo. You couldn´t have given me anything that would´ve made me happier." She reluctantly loosened her hold around Jo and leaned back to look into her eyes, "I can´t wait to show Lawrence this. He´ll be your lifelong devoted servant from now on."

Jo flashed her a happy smile, enjoying the sparkle in Mickey´s eyes. She searched her mind for something to say, but came up empty and then chose to do the only thing she could think of. The only thing that felt natural. She leaned down very slowly, giving Mickey every chance to read her intentions and move away, but the blonde didn´t even flinch and just closed her eyes a hair´s breadth before their lips met.

The kiss was gentle and undemanding, their mouths barely making contact before they broke apart. For a moment they regarded each other in silence then Mickey cleared her throat softly, "I have to go."

"I know." Jo released her and stepped away. She suddenly noticed her knife lying on the small table in front of the couch and she walked over to pick it up. She stared at it briefly then slipped it into her jacket before looking back at Mickey who was waiting at the door.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" The blonde´s voice was quiet and calm and held no trace of the nervousness she was feeling.

Jo was silent for a long time then she shook her head slowly, "No."

Mickey acknowledged her answer with a small nod. They fell silent again then the blonde continued, eyes straying to the floor, "Would you like to come by tonight? You could pick me up at the clinic and… and we… could go for a walk or… something?"

Jo chewed on her lip uncertainly, struggling with the mixed signals her brain was sending her and the confusing, but almost irresistible urge she was having to take Mickey into her arms again. "I´d like that."

"Good." Mickey felt weak with relief then quickly turned around to open the door, not wanting Jo to notice the emotions she was sure were showing face.

***************

Stepping out of the door, the tall man nodded absently to the miserably looking guard who was shivering lightly in the cold. Lost in thought he began to walk down the snow covered stairs, but stopped halfway as he heard his name being called out behind him. He turned around to see his secretary stand in the doorway, holding his briefcase in her right hand.

With a small bemused shake of his head, he acknowledged his own forgetfulness and ascended up the stairs to accept the briefcase from his secretary. They exchanged a few pleasantries then ended the conversation by wishing each other a Merry Christmas and a well deserved holiday with family and friends.

Then he continued downwards and his secretary went inside, but then, without really knowing why, she paused at the reception in the hall to look back at her boss whose figure was slightly obscured by the snowflakes dancing merrily in the wind.

She watched him stop to pull up the collar of his coat for protection then he began to walk down the stairs again, slipping and just catching his balance on the slippery steps before he would have fallen and she made a mental note of having maintenance clear the stairs of snow before somebody got hurt.

She was about to turn away and walk to the lift when she noticed something odd. Something out of place. A tiny red dot suddenly showing just above his left ear.

From the moment she first saw it and to the moment she realized what it meant, hardly more than two seconds went by, but it was already too late. Opening her mouth to scream out a warning, the words died in her throat as she watched her boss´ head jerk violently to the right, a small explosion of red shooting out from his temple as he went down.

His body hit the stairs heavily and slid down a few steps before it came to halt, leaving a trail of smeared blood behind it. The briefcase had sprung open the second it connected with the ground and white papers were twirling around wildly in the air. As the horrified secretary stepped closer, they came across like abnormally large snowflakes before they floated slowly to the ground, gently covering the dead body of Joshua Parker, gifted and respected scientist, specializing in the developing of new and effective biological and chemical anti-personnel weapons.

Cold and impassive eyes lingered briefly on the scene below, taking note of the guard´s frantic calls for help and the frozen woman in the doorway, then Jo rose to her feet and with the riffle held tightly in her right hand began to jog slowly across the rooftop towards the stairs.

***************

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Doctor Lawrence eyed the motionless figure in the corner suspiciously as he washed his hands, not even trying to conceal his dislike. Mickey walked over to stand beside him, silently accepting the soap he offered.

"Why is she here?" Lawrence muttered under his breath, glancing at Jo again before looking back at his assistant. "I appreciate her giving you the antibiotics, that goes without saying, but that doesn´t mean she has to stay here." He scowled, "I don´t like agents and I don´t particularly like the Organisation either."

Mickey sighed in exasperation but couldn´t help but smile just a little, "I know, Lawrence, trust me, you have made that perfectly clear… On several occasions, I might add, however, you don´t have to worry, she´s not here on behalf of the Organisation. She´s off duty."

"Hmm," the doctor reached for the towel and dried his hands vigorously before handing it to Mickey, "in my experience agents are never `off duty.´ They´re always trying to enhance the odds one way or another. They have no scruples whatsoever and they never ever do anything without expecting something in return. Nothing´s for free in this world and that includes our glorious freedom movement, but if you say she´s all right…" He trailed off, turning his head to look at the dark woman leaning casually against the wall. He was met with an indifferent, distant look that turned decidedly sardonic when the agent noticed the unveiled contempt in the doctor´s eyes.

With a fluid, graceful movement Jo pushed herself away from the wall and directing her words at Mickey said, "I´ll see you outside." Then she sauntered out of the room, not even waiting for a reply.

"Charming," the elderly man commented dryly, just loud enough so Jo might still be able to hear him.

Mickey smiled apologetically, "She´s not all that bad, Lawrence. Once you get to know her, she´s actually very nice. Jo´s just a bit, well… reserved around people she doesn´t know." Or trusts, she added mentally, recalling how Jo´s gaze had never left the doctor from the moment she had arrived. Always following him around when he worked with the patients, watching every move, every gesture.

"Hmph!" was all the doctor had to say to that. He began to take off his white coat and watching Mickey do the same his face grew thoughtful, "Wasn´t she the one who brought the agent with the gunshot in some time ago?"

Mickey nodded, tossing her coat on a table and reaching for her jacket. "Yes, that was her."

"You know her?"

They both knew she did, but Mickey had long ago become accustomed to Dr. Lawrence´s indirect questioning, never getting to the point right away. She nodded again, "Yeah, we go way back. Grew up together actually."

"I see," the doctor scratched his chin, staring at the door out of which Jo had disappeared a few minutes ago, then he asked bluntly, "Are you two lovers?"

"Ah…" Mickey paused and cleared her throat, hoping she wasn´t blushing as much as she suspected she was. "No, no, we´re not. Just friends."

He regarded her closely for a moment, all the hostility Jo´s presence had brought on disappearing from his eyes, then he said gently, "Be careful, Mickey. I´ve grown very fond of you these months we´ve worked together, you know that, and I don´t want to see you get hurt. Physically or otherwise. You don´t become an agent, and a successful one for that matter, by being a caring or considerate person. They have different moral principles than we do."

Mickey felt herself getting angry by the doctor´s words, but she suppressed it, knowing he was only speaking out of concern for her well-being, and that he couldn´t possibly know what working undercover in Neo Roma was doing to Jo´s self-esteem. Something which, as she recalled, had always been feeble in the first place.

Jo might think herself, and most likely did, that she had everything under control, that nothing and nobody affected her, but Mickey knew better. Every time she met her, the lieutenant was looking more and more haggard, tense and guarded, stretched somehow, and Mickey had received the distinct impression that Jo was drinking more than good was. Especially since Jo´s life depended on her keeping a clear head and a quick mind and she couldn´t afford to pull another stunt like she had last night.

"I appreciate your concern," she spoke finally, giving the doctor a friendly smile. "But you don´t have to worry, I´m a big girl. I can take care of myself."

Lawrence looked at her doubtfully, then nodded slowly to himself, "Okay, Mickey, but just remember if you ever find yourself in a situation you don´t know to handle, Sophia and I will be more than happy to help." He reached out a squeezed her shoulder gently, "You´re not all alone here in this soulless city, Mickey. You have people who look out for you."

"I know," Mickey patted the hand on her shoulder affectionately. "And one of them is waiting outside for me as we speak." Then she turned and walked out of the door.

***************

"You know," Jo began, looking straight ahead of her as they left the Slums behind them and entered the Suburbs, "I´ve been thinking…"

"Oh really?" Mickey smiled and was rewarded with a small grin in return. "What about?"

"Well, I thought that perhaps you´d like to come home with me tonight." Jo glanced quickly at Mickey before looking away again. "I could show you the apartment and you could even take a hot shower if you want to."

Mickey was silent for a long moment and Jo inwardly kicked herself for asking, but then the blonde said quietly, "I´d like that."

"Okay," Jo nodded to herself, not quite able to prevent a small smile from flickering across her face. "I´ll even cook."

"You cook?" Mickey turned to her in surprise.

Jo gave her a look, "Mickey, anybody who can read a cookbook can cook. It doesn´t take a degree in nuclear science to work a stove."

"I know," Mickey admitted, "I just didn´t think cooking held your interest."

Jo just smiled, "There are a lot of things you don´t know about me, Mickey."

"I bet," the blonde mumbled under her breath, too low for Jo to hear.

They took a taxi from the Suburbs to Jo´s apartment and the fare was such a grotesque amount of money that Mickey was almost about to object, but a look from Jo silenced her and the lieutenant just paid the driver without a word. Out on the pavement Jo hesitated for a second then pointed towards a tall, dark building with several lit windows.

"I live in that one. On the nineteenth floor." She rummaged around in her jeans pocket and then produced a small keycard which she handed to Mickey. "You go ahead and make yourself comfortable. You can turn the heat up if you want. I´ll just have to go somewhere, shouldn´t take too long. Oh yeah, and the code is 338-O5. You have to press it when the card´s in or the alarm will begin."

"338-O5," Mickey repeated dutifully, then frowned a little. "Wait, wasn´t that your serial number back in Vega?"

"Yep," Jo grinned. "There´s no reason to make things more complicated than necessary." She gave Mickey a small push in the direction of the building, "Go on, you´ll freeze to death if you stay here. I´ll be there in a minute."

Entering the building and then the lift, Mickey was instantly reminded that she and Jo now moved in very different circles, if not different worlds. Everything there, from the clean and shiny floors, to the richly decorated walls and extravagantly lit corridors screamed wealth and prestige. A stark contrast to the neglected and slightly shabby looking interior Mickey was used to.

A friendly, sexless voice inquired which floor she wanted and after Mickey had supplied the number, the lift moved gently upwards, a low cheerful Christmas tune playing from a hidden speaker. The nineteenth floor was just as beautiful and overwhelming as the rest of the building, and Mickey was glad when she could finally step inside Jo´s apartment and close the door behind her. Relieved to get away from all the spotless and somewhat clinical splendour outside and the countless security cameras she´d noticed in almost every corner.

However, Jo´s apartment was no less grand and Mickey spent a few minutes just marvelling, going from room to room, wondering how it would be to live in such a luxury. Her curiosity satisfied, she took off her jacket and then her shoes, feeling a bit sheepish that she hadn´t done so earlier since she really didn´t want to soil the rich and thick carpets covering the floors. Sitting down on a couch, she sighed audibly and leaned back, resting her head against the soft leather and closed her eyes.

She remained like that for a moment, absorbing the absolute stillness courtesy or the soundproof walls and windows before she opened her eyes again, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy in the empty and impersonal atmosphere of the apartment. As she let her eyes run over the walls and the furniture, the bookshelves and the huge TV tucked away in a corner, Mickey realized that there was absolutely nothing personal in the apartment. No pictures, no personal belongings lying around, no knick-knack whatsoever. Not even a used coffee cup or glass. The place seemed uninhabited, deserted, and a little perplexed Mickey pondered how Jo could live somewhere for ten months and still make it seem like she´d just moved in. Or like she wasn´t living there at all.

Straightening up on the couch, she caught a glimpse of something white sticking out from under a old newspaper which was the only item lying on the table in front of her, and without thought she pushed it aside and found herself with a small already open envelope in her hand. She stared at it for a long time, her arm already moving to put it back before she stopped.

I shouldn´t, she thought as she opened the envelope. It´s wrong, a voice said in her head as she took out the sheet of paper and unfolded it. Don´t, the same voice objected in vain as she began to read.

"What are you doing?"

Mickey practically leapt from the couch, just managing not to toss the letter away in a futile attempt of getting rid of the incriminating evidence. Heart beating wildly she turned around to stare at Jo who was standing a few feet behind the couch, and Mickey realized absently that she hadn´t even heard the lieutenant approach.

***************

"I… I was, I mean," Mickey stammered unsuccessfully, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, but then Jo waved her hand carelessly.

"It´s okay. Shouldn´t have left it out in the open anyway." She hoisted up in the two bags standing at her feet then walked through the living room out into the kitchen, calling out to Mickey over her shoulder, "Hope you´re hungry. I got enough food to feed an army."

Mickey stood motionless in front of the couch for a moment then she hesitantly followed Jo out in the kitchen. "I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have-."

"No problem," Jo interrupted, kneeling on the floor to peer into a cupboard. "I know you meant no harm." She pulled out a large pot then rose to her feet again. "Like risotto?"

"Uh… yeah," Mickey looked at Jo in confusion, relieved but also surprised by the lieutenant´s reaction.

"Good." Jo started to empty the content of the bags out on the kitchen table. "You get to cut the onions." She flashed Mickey a small grin, "As punishment for reading my mail. Does that sound fair?"

Mickey just shook her slowly head a few times then grinned herself, "Sounds fair to me."

She quickly pointed out the locations of the various accessories Mickey would need for her task then disappeared out of the kitchen again, returning shortly afterwards after having gotten rid of her shoes and leather jacket. Perching herself on the edge of the table she watched as Mickey began efficiently to cut the onions into small, even pieces.

"You´re skilled with a knife," she then stated after a few seconds of watching. "Must be handy when being a doctor."

Mickey paused briefly, turning her head to look at Jo, "I´m skilled with a knife because I´m a doctor. Not the other way around."

"Hmm," Jo agreed with a smile, easing herself off of the table. "I think you may have a point there. Okay, if you take care of the other vegetables as well, I´ll prepare the meat and rice."

Mickey nodded her assent and for a long time they worked side by side in silence, neither feeling the need to talk and just enjoying the other´s company. When Mickey had finished with the onions she took a look at the huge amount of vegetables Jo had bought and after a moment´s consideration picked out a couple of red and green peppers and began to chop again.

Then she suddenly she heard herself say, "That letter…"

"Mmm-hmm?" Jo answered absently, glancing up for a second before concentrating on the meat again. "What about it?"

"It was signed `your loving mother´."

Jo let out a small joyless laugh, "Yeah, I know, but it sure as hell wasn´t my mother who wrote it. I rarely get any letters, but when I do and they´re written like that they´re always from HQ… or Messina… as it was in this case. You know…" she paused and looked at Mickey, an almost mischievous expression in her eyes. "I might actually have to kill you now. Nobody is allowed to know that. It´s classified."

Mickey looked up quickly, but catching the small grin on Jo´s face tried to appear indignant without getting even close to fooling the lieutenant, "In that case you shouldn´t have told me. I didn´t ask, remember?"

"True," Jo admitted, the grin broadening, "but you would have. It was only a matter of time."

Mickey opened her mouth to speak then closed it again and shrugged a little as she returned to her vegetables, smiling enigmatically.

They fell silent again and remained that way until it was time to boil the rice. They had a small discussion about the best procedure, both claiming to know the proper way to do it, but then they realized how silly the discussion was and Jo relented with a smile and started to clean up the mess they´d left on the kitchen table instead, leaving the stove and rice to Mickey.

In no time the last preparations had been made and all they could do now was to wait. Simultaneously, they turned around and found themselves face to face with each other and nothing to occupy their hands with. For an endless moment they looked into each other´s eyes, then before Mickey had time to realize what was happening, Jo took a step forward and leaned down to kiss her.

This time they lingered, their tongues brushing lightly, getting a brief taste of each other before they abruptly broke apart, almost like they´d been caught doing something they shouldn´t. Mickey tried in vain to catch Jo´s eyes, but she was stubbornly looking at the floor instead, not even glancing in Mickey´s direction.

A few seconds ticked by that way and Mickey could sense that Jo was starting to get really unnerved, distancing herself by slowly backing away, so she decided to take a time out and give them both a breather.

"What about that hot shower?" she asked, waiting for Jo to look at her. "Is that still an offer?"

"Sure," Jo nodded, and to Mickey she appeared relieved, almost grateful. "Go ahead, I´ll check on the food in the meantime."

Smiling in reply, Mickey exited the kitchen and walked into the bathroom. The moment the door closed behind her, she leaned back against it, taking a deep breath.

That had been weird, working so closely with Jo like that. It had been nice, too, no doubt about it, sometimes relaxing, perhaps even comforting, but…

And then there was the small matter of the kiss.

Mickey shook her head imperceptibly and began to undress, going over the events of the last hour in her mind. On a couple of occasions the atmosphere had turned very thick and loaded, especially when they hadn´t been talking for awhile and then they would suddenly make eye contact or their hands or arms hand would brush against each other when reaching for something.

It was almost like they had been waiting for something, or at least that was what Mickey had felt, but somehow she suspected Jo had been experiencing the same thing. In any case, the lieutenant had most certainly shot her a few furtive looks which she probably didn´t think Mickey had caught, but the blonde had noticed every single one of them. She hadn´t, however, been able to read the expression in Jo´s eyes. And she hadn´t been able to tell what it meant when Jo kissed her either.

***************

Jo remained absolutely still in the kitchen for several minutes then she blinked, her eyes coming to rest on the gently simmering rice on the stove and with a low sigh she walked out into the living room. There she paused again, standing indecisively in the middle of the room for a moment then abruptly and resolutely, she walked over to the cabinet at the wall and grabbed a bottle of vodka.

She unscrewed the cap and tossed it over her shoulder before taking a few healthy gulps of the already half-empty bottle, inadvertently grimacing from the taste. Unseeing eyes stared straight ahead as she contemplated the last turn of events.

She didn´t know what had gotten into her today. Originally, she hadn´t intended to bring Mickey home with her and she most certainly hadn´t intended to kiss her. It had just happened.

Jo took another gulp as she tried to determine what to do next. One thing was to kiss Mickey when she´d given her the antibiotics. That had been okay. It had been an all right thing to do under the circumstances, it being Christmas and all, but the incident in the kitchen… That was something else and she couldn´t understand why she´d done it.

Slumping down heavily on the couch, Jo brought the bottle to her lips once again, but then halted. She could already feel the vodka´s effect on her thoughts and it would probably be the wisest not to drink anymore tonight. However, the cautioning thought entered and left her mind without making any real impact and Jo completed the motion of her hand and took another drink of the unpleasant tasting liquor.

Out in the bathroom Mickey had just exited the shower and was studying herself in the mirror when she smelled something burning. Frowning, she called out to Jo, but when she didn´t receive an answer, she quickly took a white fluffy bathrobe from a peg and tying the belt securely around her went outside and into the kitchen.

With a low curse she found that the everything on the stove had turned into a charred unrecognizable black mass, and she could tell that dinner wasn´t the only thing ruined. There was no way Jo could ever used those pots again.

Turning off the heat, she was about to put the pots into the sink when she felt a person come up behind her. Standing far too close for Mickey´s comfort, Jo leaned forward to peer over her shoulder, her breath caressing the blonde´s ear as she spoke indifferently, "Seems like I forgot something."

"Seems like it," Mickey answered carefully, feeling a little peeved that Jo could forget such a simple task. "Guess, we´ll just have to start all over again."

"Oh…" Jo was now resting her chin on Mickey´s shoulder and the blonde shivered involuntarily as she felt words spoken directly into her ear. "I don´t think that´ll be necessary."

Suddenly Mickey was turned around and as powerful arms encircled her waist, she stared straight into Jo´s eyes, her mouth going dry and her heart beating faster as she read the intent there. The lieutenant smiled seductively, lifting her right hand to cup Mickey´s face while the other tried to find a way under her robe, tugging purposely on the belt.

Mickey felt how she was unable, unwilling, to move away and she watched in fascination as Jo began to slowly lean down towards her, then just as she was about to close her eyes and wait for the inevitable, she noticed the look in the blue eyes.

Desire. Desire and… Mickey stiffened, her own eyes narrowing in shock and then anger. Desire and triumph.

"Feeling a bit horny tonight, Jo? Want to get laid?"

The lieutenant jerked away like she had been stung, moving so quickly that she backed directly into the wall behind her.

"Is that it, Jo?" Mickey continued sarcastically. "Is that why you brought me here? You couldn´t bother to find someone else so you decided to use me? Thinking I´d be willing? Like always?"

Jo struggled for words, her rising anger and the alcohol making it hard for her to think clearly. Then she tossed her hands up in defeat and staring at Mickey in disgust almost shouted, "I don´t get you, Mickey! The one moment you´re all over me, want me to fuck you and the next you freak out if I try to touch you. What am I supposed to think?! What do you want from me?! Tell me, so I know how to react because I´m getting sick and tired of this!"

"You?!" Mickey stared at her in disbelief. "You are getting sick and tired?! Well, I´m sorry, Jo! I´m sorry, I don´t fit into your neat little world of casual sex and violence. I´m sorry that you don´t know how to react or what to think and…" She stopped suddenly then continued in a much more quiet and low voice, "And I´m even more sorry that you don´t know what I want from you." She shook her head in despair and for the briefest of seconds a heartbreakingly sad expression showed on her face then it disappeared and resigned green eyes met blue for a second before she looked away. "Forget it. It doesn´t matter. I don´t care anymore."

Without another word she left the kitchen and returned to the bathroom where she changed into her own clothes. Jo watched in silence as Mickey put on her jacket and shoes then walked to the front door, her hand reaching for the handle.

"Please… don´t go..."

The plea had been spoken so softly that Mickey could have pretended not to have heard it. She could have gone out of the door never to look back, but she had, and as always the pull was too strong so she turned around.

"Why?"

Jo´s mouth moved soundlessly several times and Mickey was about to turn away again when the lieutenant spoke hoarsely, "I don´t want to be alone. I… I don´t have…" She swallowed hard, fighting the almost irresistible urge to avert her eyes. Or run. "Everybody wants something from me. Even you, Mickey. You wanted me to sleep with you and I did. And it´s okay, I´ll… I´ll do whatever you want me to. I just don´t want to be alone tonight."

Mickey squeezed her eyes tightly in a futile attempt to ward off Jo´s choked words. Words that cut deeply into her heart and the painful understanding that followed as she realized what Jo was saying hurt more than anything ever had before. With devastating despair and all-consuming sorrow warring for dominance she opened her eyes again and said softly, "I´ll stay. Not because I want something from you. Not because I want something in return, but because I want to. For you, Jo. Because of you. I´m so sorry if I´ve ever made you believe something else."

Jo was silent for a very long time, cautious blue eyes searching Mickey´s face thoroughly, desperately, then at last she nodded, attempting to smile without succeeding.

"Let´s try dinner again," Mickey began a little uncertainly. "I´m hungry."

This time Jo managed a genuine smile and together they went out into the kitchen to begin preparations for another meal.

***************

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, their relationship changed and if any one of them noticed, neither chose to mention it. They became friends.

The night in Jo´s apartment had revealed a truth to Mickey that she had never considered before and although it hurt, she forced herself to think about it and subsequently deal with it. As tough and competent a soldier Jo was, as a human being she was constantly on guard and full of doubts. Always expecting a double meaning to every word, always assuming that nothing ever came without a price or a condition. That people´s only motive for doing anything was to get something in return. And the worst part was, as Mickey realized sadly, more often than not, that was exactly the case in Jo´s current line of work.

Jo was incapable of accepting any kindness without thinking she would be asked to do something as payment and Mickey had come to the difficult and painful understanding that Jo had thought the same of her.

Jo might not have wanted to, perhaps have tried to suppress her inborn distrust, subconsciously knowing she could trust Mickey, but she had only halfway succeeded in letting her guards down. Mickey had chosen to interpret Jo´s mood swings, the erratic and frequently infuriating behaviour as a sign that the lieutenant was struggling hard to let her walls down and allow herself to trust, and the blonde was confident that together they would succeed.

Otherwise Jo would spent the rest of her life as a very cautious, yet very deadly animal, always checking the corners for shadows and that wasn´t an option Mickey would even consider.

They had several setbacks. They would spent a wonderfully relaxed day together and then suddenly, without apparent reason, Jo´s mood would deteriorate and she would grow silent and hostile, suspicious blue eyes watching Mickey´s every move, her mind examining the blonde´s every word. However, those occasions became rarer and when the first month of spring arrived, Mickey no longer felt she had to walk on eggshells around her and had begun to believe that Jo finally, maybe not completely, but almost, had learned to trust her.

She had even arrived at the conclusion that if the comfortable and friendly relationship they had now was the only type of relationship they would ever have, then she would be willing to settle for that. Accept it and just be grateful that she held a position in Jo´s life not many others did, if any at all, and although it wasn´t the position she had hoped for, she was content.

At least that was what Mickey told herself whenever Jo gave her a certain smile, a certain look, or absently began to play with the blonde´s hair which she had taken to do sometimes when they were sitting side by side watching TV.

And she could have made herself believe it. She could have convinced herself that she would be happy that way. And she would have, a long time ago, if only Jo would be just as steadfast as she and would stop kissing her.

It didn´t happen very often, but sometimes they would end up making out on Jo´s couch or in a dark corner of the clinic when everybody had left, mainly because Mickey was unable to stop herself from responding when Jo initiated something. Only once had she put her foot down and in unmistakably terms told Jo it was not going to happen, and that was when the lieutenant had tried to take her to bed. Jo hadn´t questioned her why, but had only nodded and had never attempted it again. Something Mickey was secretly thankful for since she was less than certain that she would´ve been able to say no again.

She knew only too well that she couldn´t continue to allow the apparently casual and mostly innocent, though not always, exchange of intimacies between them that Jo seemed to find perfectly acceptable. Not if she should have any hope of ever moving on and falling in love with someone else. But whenever Jo touched her it was too hard to say stop and the need to touch in return was too irresistible to ignore, and she let it happen. Even though she knew she would invariably feel perfectly miserable the moment she was alone again, cursing herself for being weak, and Jo for being so damn insensitive and completely oblivious to the feelings she was creating in her heart. And of course to the minor fact that their activities were doomed to blow up in their faces sooner or later. At least in Mickey´s. Already she was finding it more and more difficult to let Jo go without saying anything, always pretending everything was all right when she knew where Jo was going and who she was going to meet.

Another thing was that she didn´t understand Jo´s motives behind it all and only once had she hesitantly asked what it was she wanted when Jo had moved to kiss her one late night. The lieutenant had instantly moved away, apologized several times and said that she didn´t want anything. Then she had left and Mickey hadn´t heard from her for weeks until one evening she´d showed up at the clinic and without offering a word of explanation, or mentioning the incident at all, had accompanied Mickey home where it had happened again. Just as Mickey knew it would.

They did sleep together occasionally in the platonic sense. Usually because they had lost track of time and wouldn´t be able to get home before the bridge closed for the night. When in bed they never touched. It was like there was an invisible line between what they could do on the couch in the light of day, and what they could do lying close together in the dark. Or at least a line between what Mickey would allow Jo to do when and where.

She was very aware of how inconsistent she was, not only with herself, but with Jo as well. However, the lieutenant respected it without a word which didn´t prevent her from snuggling close during the nights they spent together. Always holding the blonde like her life depended on it and thus playing havoc with Mickey´s feelings even more than usual, which was why the blonde had begun to prefer it when they slept apart. Her life was complicated and messy enough as it was and she really did need to sleep, and having Jo´s body pressed firmly against her all night wasn´t making that particular task very easy. So those nights, long after Jo had fallen asleep Mickey would lie wide awake, staring out into the darkness and feeling more lonely than ever.

***************

"How accurate do you deem the information to be?"

Corporal Hansen took the binoculars from his eyes and looked at Jo, "Pretty accurate, ma´am. I overheard two men from the Military Police discuss Sergeant Frederic less than two days ago. They said they´d pull him in for questioning today."

Jo nodded, sighing quietly then she gestured for Hansen to hand her the binoculars. Studying the narrow and empty street in front her, she made a few adjustments until she had a clear view of the large building on the other side.

They were nestled into the darkest corner of a damp and dirty alley from where they could observe the HQ of the Military Police without being spotted. Clad in black they were almost invisible in the tepid spring night and not unless somebody decided to go into the alley and actually look around they wouldn´t be found.

"How about your boss, Hansen?" Jo folded the binoculars and slipped them into her pocket. "Is he still suspicious?"

"No, ma´am. At least I don´t think so." The thin man smiled, "I played dumb and ignorant for almost three weeks and I think he bought it. He hasn´t given me those strange looks for quite some time."

"Okay," Jo glanced at her watch, scowling inwardly. Standing in smelly alleys around midnight wasn´t exactly her favourite pastime. Especially not when there was somewhere else she´d much rather be. "However, don´t get too comfortable, he might just be testing you. Don´t take any unnecessary risks and if he ever asks you a direct question or inquires about you behind your back, I want you to get out of there and contact me immediately. Got that?"

"Yes, ma´am."

"Good."

They fell silent, both gazing at the dark, ominous looking building across the street. Then Corporal Hansen began to shift lightly on his feet, shooting furtive glances at his superior. He was feeling both excited and nervous, had only been in Neo Roma for four months and there were so many things he wanted to ask the silent and motionless woman beside him. Although Jo was younger than him, he was twenty-seven and she had only just turned twenty-four, he felt a boundless admiration and respect for her, combined with a little fear, and though he tried not to, he couldn´t help but feel just a little intimidated by her vast experience and general gruff and aloof personality.

He had been thrilled when he´d first heard he would be assigned to the group of agents under Lieutenant Delaine´s command. That particular undercover unit was one of the most efficient there was, not only in Neo Roma, but in the entire Realm, and it was said that those agents were smarter, better and tougher than the rest. Always completing their assignments successfully no matter the costs.

He´d wondered what the reason for their success rate was, but after only a few weeks of working undercover he´d known what it was. It was her.

Hansen glanced at Jo again, but she was focused on the Military Police´s HQ and paid him no attention and he let his mind wander once more. He had quickly realized that Delaine somehow inspired an absolute and unwavering loyalty in her agents and that was why they were so good. They all went to great lengths with often major personal risks to follow her orders, always doing more than was required just to ensure a good result so neither they, nor Delaine, would look bad in the final report.

The lieutenant was a highly competent, but also very demanding leader and she wouldn´t tolerate anything but their best and they knew that she expected even more from herself in return. Which was one of the reasons why she was so admired and why they followed her orders without questions or complaints. Every one of them knew that in an emergency they could count on her one hundred percent, and nobody, no matter how afraid or weary they might be, would want to do any less if the situation should be reversed and she´d require their help.

As it was, they were all doing their damnedest to get noticed by her. Not only because she was an extraordinarily beautiful woman, but simply because on the rare occasions she was that way inclined a single word of praise from her was enough to make them feel like they could walk on water, or make them blush like schoolboys.

He suspected that most of them had a small crush on her, he most certainly had, but nobody had ever tried to act upon it. She was their superior officer after all and it would not only be inappropriate, but also very complicated to start something. Besides, it was also unlikely that she would be interested. She didn´t seem to desire or need companionship, or even friendship in her life, and most assumed she was involved with Iris Messina in one way or another anyway. At least if the rumours were true and nobody in their right mind wanted to come between the leader of the Organisation and her lover, estranged or not.

However, the main reason for their reluctance to get to know her better was that none of them ever felt completely comfortable in her presence. They trusted her, believed in her, wanted her recognition and respect, but nobody was able to shake the uneasy feeling that she was dangerous and somewhat roguish in spite of all her apparent discipline.

Her drive and dedication was legendary, it was one of the reasons she´d made lieutenant so young, and her loyalty to Messina was indisputable. But so were the facts that she had a temper, had little regard for other people and was an extremely skilled and capable killer, even surpassing most of the experts in the Command Corps. There was something indefinable about her that worried people, something about her impenetrable and emotionless facade that made everybody who knew her glad they were working with her and not against her.

And sometimes Hansen couldn´t help but wonder if-

"Corporal? Stop daydreaming, they´re coming."

Hansen quickly cleared his mind of all distracting thoughts and gazed ahead of him, just in time to see Frederic be escorted down the stairs to a waiting car.

"That doesn´t look like a Black Maria to me," he whispered slightly mystified and looked to Jo for clarification.

"No," the lieutenant mumbled quietly to herself, a grim expression on her face, "it doesn´t to me either."

***************

Balancing on the headboard of her bed, Jo reached up as far as she could, her fingers just grazing the air grating placed close to the ceiling. Sliding the front away she reached in and after a moment of rummaging around inside the narrow opening, she pulled out a small flat black box. Jumping carelessly back down on the bed, she indulged herself in the childish pleasure of jumping up and down a few times before she sighed and slumped down to sit cross-legged on the bed.

She opened the box to reveal a tiny monitor and a row of obscure keys varied in size and colour. She quickly pressed eight numbers in a certain order, followed by another eight again in a specified way and almost immediately the monitor sprang to life and after a brief flickering the image of Iris Messina appeared on the screen.

The blonde was sitting at her desk and looked up when the small chiming told her that somebody was using her private line. She flicked on her own monitor and wasn´t the least surprised to see a familiar face before her. After all, only a handful of people had the code and Jo was the only one who wasn´t currently staying at the base with her.

For a moment they stared at each other then Messina spoke professionally, "Line secured?"

Jo nodded, "Of course, encrypted it myself. Can´t stay on too long, though."

"Okay," the blonde sighed and shifted in her chair, looking at the screen expectantly. "So… What´s up?"

"Well," Jo rubbed her forehead and Messina couldn´t help but notice how exhausted she looked. "I think, I might have a problem with one of my agents."

"Go on." The blonde had straightened up and was now listening attentively.

"He was called in for questioning yesterday, apparently he´s been under observation for quite awhile, but after only an hour he was released." Jo paused then continued evenly, "They even gave him a ride home."

Messina put her palms together and studied Jo for a moment then she asked, her face giving nothing away, "Who are we talking about?"

"Frederic," Jo answered and Messina thought she could detect a small tone of regret in the lieutenant´s voice. "Sergeant Frederic."

"I see." The blonde fell silent, pondering what to do next. She had already realized that Jo hadn´t contacted her for a solution or to ask for advice. No, Delaine would already have made her mind up and was only interested in getting her superior´s approval before she made her next move. An approval Iris fully intended to give her. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Jo didn´t look surprised that she wasn´t asked to offer more information and only shrugged, an action of indecision that was belied by the determination apparent in her voice, "I´ll ask him. I can´t afford a traitor, none of us can. All my men will end up dead if he has switched sides and I don´t put an end to it quickly."

"Your life will be in danger, too," Messina pointed out quietly. "Not just your men´s."

Jo shrugged again and didn´t answer. Instead she raised an eyebrow, urging the blonde to say the words she wanted to hear.

"Okay," Messina sighed deeply, suddenly feeling ten years older. "Do what you have to do in order to protect your men and yourself. If we´re lucky we´re mistaken and Frederic´s clean, but if not… Well, you know what to do."

"Yes, I do," Jo nodded absently, her mind already contemplating what to do next. She was about to disconnect when Messina´s voice stopped her and she looked back at the screen. "Sorry?"

"I asked how you were doing? How life´s treating you?"

Jo stared at her slightly puzzled and it was obvious that she hadn´t expected the question then finally she answered offhandedly, "Fine. I´ve got no complaints. Work´s progressing nicely. Lingstrom´s taking me on a trip to Venice next week and I should be able to get into the office he has there, so if all goes well you should receive the first reports within ten days or so."

"I wasn´t asking about work, Jo," Messina spoke softly. "I was asking about you. You have been in Neo Roma for more than a year and you haven´t had a single day of leave in all that time which means you´re entitled to at least a month."

"I haven´t felt the need." Jo answered, looking into Messina´s eyes, but the blonde got the feeling that she wasn´t really seeing her. "I´m fine, Iris, really. Working suits me. I like contributing to what´s important and the cause is important, you know that. You´ve told me often enough." She blinked a few times and seemed to focus on Messina once again before speaking tiredly, her voice devoid of any emotion, "Nothing else matters, remember? You said so yourself."

Messina closed her eyes briefly, turning her head away. She remembered all too clearly when she´d spoken those words. Little had she known how much they would change or how much they would affect the young woman she´d spoken them to. Feeling out of control for the first time in years, she gazed back at the screen and almost unable to recognize her own voice said, "I miss... I miss having you around, Jo."

Jo´s head snapped up and Messina watched with bated breath as the expression on her face changed from surprise to something resembling disbelief or maybe even anger, but then it disappeared and Jo gave her a resigned little smile, "Thank you. I… I´m… I mean…" She trailed off then sighed quietly, " That´s nice to hear. Thank you."

The blonde managed to smile in return and knowing she shouldn´t she still heard herself ask casually, "You seeing anybody?"

Jo didn´t speak for a long time, several emotions, neither of which Messina was able identify, flickering across her face before she began hesitantly, avoiding the blonde´s eyes, "No… No, I´m not… Not really…"

After that neither could think of more to say and they said goodbye and disconnected. However, it was a long time before any of them made a move to get up from where they´d been sitting.

***************

 Continued in Part 7.