~ Xena: Warrior Princess - Fool Me Once ~
by Derek Evans



TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. FOREST - DAY (FLASHBACK)

SUPER: thirty-four years ago.

We see about fifteen dead men on the ground.  Ten of them are wearing red and gold armor; the rest black and silver.

We see a group of about a dozen WARRIORS attacking a single warrior wearing GOLD ARMOR and matching HELMET.  The single warrior is wielding two swords and is actually fairing quite well in the battle, using kicks and sword strikes.

The lone warrior's helmet is knocked off during the fight and we see that the warrior is...BOADICEA: Iceni queen.  She's much younger looking than she was when first shown.

One of Boadicea's swords is kicked out of her hand, but she continues to kick ass until reinforcements arrive for the dozen warriors, bringing their number to about two dozen.

Boadicea looks somewhat afraid, but soldiers on in the face of insurmountable odds.  Eventually, she is overwhelmed and is lost in a mountain of warriors as we...

Ext. ForEST 2 - day (present)

In the present time, we see XENA and GABRIELLE doing battle with about two dozen warriors.  Our girls are a fair distance apart.

XENA

Has her sword drawn and is using it to deflect the blows of several warriors before she does a jumping, spinning kick that takes all of them out except for one.  The two adversaries begin to parry.

GABRIELLE

Is using her sais to deflect blows from warrior.  She elbows him in the face, then kicks one behind her in the chest.  She spins around and CLUNKS the one she elbowed in the back of the head with one of her sais, knocking him out.  Following that, she hits the one she kicked in the temple with her other sai, taking him down.

A WARRIOR

Comes rushing toward Xena with a STAFF. 

XENA

Kicks the staff, breaking it in half then SLITS the throat of her attacker.  Xena sees Gab going down under the force of five men.

Somersaulting through the air:

XENA

ALALALALA!

XENA

Lands over by Gab and does a jumping V kick, sending two warriors back.  She then swings her sword in a half arc, making the other three warriors jump back.

GABRIELLE

Gets up and goes back to fighting.  She kicks a warrior in the midsection, then SWEEPS his legs out from underneath him.

XENA

Has two swords now and is slicing an dicing everything in sight.  A warrior comes up behind her and the warrior princess does a back somersault and kicks the warrior in the back of the head, making him fall face first into the ground. 

GABRIELLE

Blocks a warrior's sword with her sais.  She follows this with a few punches to the face with her weapons before she punches the poor fellow in the throat.

XENA

Displays an impressive array of kicks as she takes out several warriors before something in the distance catches her eye.

Xena's POV - About twenty men on HORSEBACK.  They're wearing different armor than the men Xena and Gab are currently fighting.

While clocking a warrior with her sais:

Gabrielle

(to Xena)

Back up coming?

After kicking a man in the groin:

XENA

Maybe.

The LEADER of the fast approaching men JUMPS off his horse and cuts through Xena and Gab's opponents like a knife through butter.  This warrior is wearing a gold armor and helmet.

XENA (CONT'D)

(grins)

Looks like they're on our side.

XENA

Runs a warrior through with one of her swords, then decapitates another.

The men on horseback have really tipped the scales in Xena and Gab's favor.

THE LEADER

Is quite impressive in this battle; about as impressive as Xena herself.

GABRIELLE

Does a spinning kick on her opponent, flips her sais, the hits him on the side of the head with both of her weapons.

Seeing they're no match for the girls and their new friends, the baddies run off.

Xena and Gabrielle turn to their saviors.

gABRIELLE

Thanks for the help.

The leader pulls his helmet off, revealing that he is actually a she.  Her name is YLEINA.  She has long red hair and slightly resembles Boadicea.

YLEINA

Think nothing of it Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE

You know who I am?

YLEINA

By word of mouth.

Yleina turns her gaze to Xena.

YLEINA (CONT'D)

Just like I know she's Xena.

XENA

You came looking for us.

YLEINA

Yeah, I did.  I need your help.

XENA

For what?

YLEINA

There's a lot to explain, I'll do it all on the ship.

Yleina turns to leave, but Xena grabs her arm.

XENA

We're not going anywhere with you until you tell us who you are and why you want our help.

Yleina shrugs Xena's hand off of her arm.

YLEINA

My name is Yleina.  I'm one of Boadicea's daughters.

Xena is taken aback as is Gabrielle.

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

Fade in:

EXT. FOREST 2 - DAY

Where we left off.

XENA

You're the daughter of Boadicea?  I wasn't aware Boadicea had any children.

YLEINA

My mother tried to keep our identity a secret to protect us.

GaBRIELLE

Where's your other sister?

YLEINA

Dead.  My people will join her without your assistance.  We're having trouble with a certain menace that you're very familiar with.  Romans.

XENA

Why is it always the Romans?

GABRIELLE

Fate?

Xena snickers at that.

XENA

Did your mother send you to find me?

YLEINA

My mother's dead.  She died fighting Caesar.

XENA

That's impossible.  We helped your mother fight off Caesar.

YLEINA

Augustus, not Julius.

GABRIELLE

Augustus?  Where did Octavius go wrong?

YLEINA

Like I said, there's much to explain.  I can do it on our way to Britannia, if you'll join me in my fight against Claudius.  We're lost without you Xena.

XENA

Of course I'll help.

GABRIELLE

We'll both help. 

XENA

Yeah, that's what I meant.

YLEINA

Thank you both so much.

Xena, Gab, Yleina, and her men set off.

GABRIELLE

I can't believe that Claudius is doing this.

XENA

He did seem like he was gonna be the good one of the bunch.

YLEINA

Looks can be deceiving.

XENA

It's always been that way when it comes to the Romans.  I'm sorry to hear about your mother.  She was a great woman.

YLEINA

Yes, she was.

XENA

Did she tell you about our history.

YLEINA

I know about what you did to my mother Xena.

XENA

I'm sorry--

YLEINA

No, don't apologize.  You're obviously a different woman now.  I've got no problems with you.

This seems to ease Xena's guilt a little.

XENA

So get us up to speed.

Int. Castle bedroom - night (FLASHBACK)

The bedroom is lavish.  There's a big four post bed in there adorned with silk.  Boadicea is there with a teenaged Yleina and her other daughter CALLIA.  She's a little older than Yleina.

YlEINA

(VO)

Augustus had waged war against our people a few years into his reign.  He wanted to continue the work of Julius Caesar.  A war erupted and my mother was forced once again to rally her people against the legions of Rome.

Boadicea

I'm going to have to send you girls away again.

yLEINA

To Gaul again?

BOADICEA

It's one of the few places where Caesar's reach doesn't extend.

CALLIA

Are you gonna come with us?

BOADICEA

I can't.  I have to stay here and fight.

CALLIA

That's what men are for.

Boadicea gently strokes Callia's hair.

BOADICEA

We women can fight for ourselves and don't you forget that.

CALLIA

Daddy always said I was a princess and that I should never have to fight.

BOADICEA

Well, what I say overrules what daddy said.

Boadicea moves over to a TRUNK.  She opens it and we see that it's full of gold coins.  She takes a pouch off her belt and fills it with gold coins.  She hands it to Callia.

BOADICEA

Make sure to give this to Vercinix.

CALLIA

He never takes it.

BOADICEA

It's polite to give offerings to those who help us in our hour of need, even if they don't accept it.

YLEINA

Mother, how long will we be away for this time?  The last time you went up against Rome, we didn't see you for almost half a year.

BOADICEA

I unfortunately don't have the answer to that.  So far this war has been more brutal then the last one.  I don't know if I'll survive.  All the more reason to get you girls to safety.  Your the last of the bloodline.

YLEINA

Mother, don't go.  Come with us.

BOADICEA

I want to, but I must stay and defend our people.  They need me.

YLEINA

We need you too.  Don't we Callia?

CALLIA

Uh-huh.

Boadicea hugs both her daughters.

BOADICEA

As long as you're alive, I'll always be with you.  Now go downstairs.  Perseis is waiting to take you to Gaul.

The girls linger in their mother's embrace then Callia leaves.  Yleina follows behind her, but stops and runs back to her mother, hugs her.

YLEINA

I love you mother.

Boadicea doesn't say anything.  Tears fall from her eyes.

YLEINA (CONT'D)

(VO

That was the last time I ever saw my mother.

Int. Colosseum - day (FLASHBACK)

The place is packed.  AUGUSTUS sits on his throne.  With a wave of his hand, two GUARDS bring out a  chained, NUDE Boadicea.

YLEINA

(VO)

Years later, word had gotten back to Gaul about what happened with the Romans and what became of my mother.

AUGUSTUS

People of Rome, we've endured a long, arduous war with the people of Britannia.  That war has finally come to an end with us proving victorious.  We've captured the leader of those barbarians and have brought her here to face her end before all of Rome.

Augustus gives another wave of his hand.  The guards begin to beat Boadicea with CLUBS.  She tries to fight back, but can't due to her restraints.  At the end of her lashing, Boadicea is bloodied and bruised.

One of the guards undoes the chains wrapped around Boadicea's hands.  He hands her a VIAL.  Augustus takes this as his cue to make his next pompous speech.

AUGUSTUS (CONT'D)

And now for the ultimate punishment: Boadicea: queen of the Iceni people will drink poison.

Boadicea tries to throw the vial, but can't find the strength so she merely drops it.  One of the guards kicks her in the abdomen and returns the vial full of poison to her.

Guard

Drink!

Boadicea drops it again.  This time the guard takes his club and nearly does Boadicea's skull in with it.  He hands Boadicea the poison to Boadicea again and this time she takes it.

Within seconds, Boadicea starts to CONVULSE, then her body gives out.  She has passed away.

Ext. Camp - night (present)

The girls, Yleina, and her men have set up camp for the night near a hill.  Xena, Gabrielle, and Yleina are sitting around a fire.

GABRIELLE

I'm so sorry Yleina.  I can completely empathize with you.

YLEINA

Oh, so you lost your mother to a brutal tyrant too?

GABRIELLE

Yeah, actually.  Xena and I both have.  I lost my father too.  What I'm having trouble understanding is why poison would be the ultimate punishment.  Maybe I'm alone in this, but I think I would've preferred the poison.

XENA

Poison is not an honorable way for a warrior, a true warrior like Boadicea, to die.  They wanted to humiliate her.

YLEINA

Mission accomplished.  My mother deserved better.  My sister and I paid some assassins in Gaul to retrieve her body.  During their mission, they were captured and they gave us up.  It wasn't long before Caesar came after us.

Ext. Streets of gaul - day (FLASHBACK)

All of the houses are boarded up.  Men, suited up in armor are out and ready to throw down.  A legion of ROMANS come riding through town.

A big battle erupts between the two opposing armies.  The fight is vicious.  Catapults are being used, houses are being burned down, people are running for their lives.

It doesn't take long for the Romans to win.  Callia and Yleina are dragged out of a house.  VERCINIX is chained up.

Ext. Roman streets - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Vercinix is being dragged through Roman streets.  All the townspeople are gathered outside to watch the poor treatment of another once powerful leader.

Ext. cOLOSSEUM - coNTINUOUS

Vercinix is dragged through the entrance of the colosseum as we...

Int. COLOSSEUM - cONTINUOUS

The horseman enters with the limp and beaten body of Vercinix.  Two Roman guards come and put Vercinix on the chopping block.  Augustus is there once again with his people to do his Caesar routine.  Augustus gives a nod and Vercinix is beheaded.

AUGUSTUS

Now for a real crowd pleaser, we have recovered the last of Boadicea's line to prove Rome has conquered Britannia.

Augustus nods and the guards bring out Yleina and Callia, who are both tied up.  The girls are thrown face down into the ground.

AUGUSTUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)

(to guards)

Do it.

The guards brutally rape Yleina and Callia.  The girls scream out in pain and anguish, but this has no effect on the guards.  The crowd's eating it up.  Augustus doesn't look like his heart's really in it though.  It's like he's just doing this to please his country.

Ext. CAMP - NIGHT (pRESENT)

Yleina has TEARS pouring down her face as she continues to tell her story.  Gab is now sitting beside her, holding her hand.

YLEINA

After Caesar stripped us of our chastity, he sold my sister into slavery.  He sold us to a Roman senator by the name of Decianus.  We tried to run away once, but were beaten and raped for our troubles.  Years later, I attempted to run away again.  I urged my sister to come with me, but she was too scared.  I was scared too, but my mother and my father had already met their end at the hands of filthy Roman pigs; I was going to join them.  So I left on my own and I ran and I ran and I ran until I couldn't run anymore.  A year later I had heard from another ex-slave that once Decianus found out I escaped, he executed my sister.

Yleina wipes the tears from her eyes.

YlEINA (CONT'D)

The Romans have taken over Britannia.  They keep my people impoverished and enslaved.  I've managed to round up an army of Brits in order to take back our lands and to take back our pride.  I have my army waiting for me on a part of Britannia that the Romans have yet to take over.

XENA

This won't be easy you know.  The Romans are a force to be reckoned with.

Yleina smiles at Xena and Gabrielle when she says this:

YLEINA

I know, but I've got the best working with me.  I know we'll succeed.  We should all get some rest now.  We have a long travel ahead of us.

Yleina gets up and heads for her tent as we...

Ext. camp - night - later

Everyone is asleep, save for Xena.  She's over by the fire, sharpening her sword.  She looks over her shoulder at Gabrielle, who is sound asleep.  Xena goes back to sharpening her sword, lost in thought.

Gabrielle wakes up.  It's as if she senses something.  She looks at Xena and goes to sit by her.

GABRIELLE

Can't sleep?

XENA

Nope.

GABRIELLE

I can't really either.  I've been through a lot since I've been traveling with you, but Yleina's story really hurts me.  I can't believe she survived all that and still managed to be such a good person.

XENA

You're still a good person.

GABRIELLE

I haven't had it as bad as Yleina.  Yeah, sure, I've died a couple of times and Hope, but she lost her entire family, she was a slave for years, and she has to deal with the fact that she abandoned her sister.

Xena stops sharpening her sword and gives Gabrielle her full attention.

XENA

I know the feeling.  Sometimes, I feel like I abandoned Lyceus when he died and I wasn't there to protect him.

GABRIELLE

You did the best that you could.  Can I ask you about something?

XENA

You wanna know about Boadicea?

GABRIELLE

Yeah, you only gave me the condensed version before and I'd like to hear the whole story.

Ext. ForEST - dAY (FLASHBACK)

It's the same forest as the first flashback.  Xena rides up on a HORSE, her signature sword and chakram on her side.  She's wearing her evil Xena outfit from The DEBTS.

She sees Boadicea fighting in the distance and is immediately intrigued by her.

XENA

(VO)

I was coming from Norselands when I first met Boadicea.  I'd heard she had an amazing army and I needed one.  I couldn't believe my luck when I saw her fighting. 

Xena sees that Boadicea is being overwhelmed and decides to ride to her rescue.  She THROWS her chakram at Boadicea's assailants, killing some; injuring others.

XENA

SOMERSAULTS off her horse and catches her chakram mid-air all the while:

XENA (CONT'D)

ALALALALALALASHEEEYAH!

XENA

Lands and some warriors attack her, but they're in for a real surprise.  Xena draws her sword, gives a wicked grin and tears her enemies open with her chakram and sword.

BOADICEA

Now free and able to stand, watches Xena fight.  It's like nothing she's ever seen.  She's completely taken with Xena and her capabilities.  Boadicea soon snaps out of her haze and helps Xena take on the warriors.

XENA

Does a back somersault and kicks a warrior in the back.  He lands face first into the ground.  Xena spins and SLITS the throat of the warriors coming behind her with her sword.

BOADICEA

Is using her sword to block blows from two warriors.

THREE ARCHERS

Have lined up and are ready to fire when...

XENA

Unleashes her chakram upon them, breaking their bows, then the chakram comes behind them, cutting them on the back of their knees.

THE ARCHERS

Drop to the ground.

XENA

Catches her chakram as she kicks a guy in the face.  With a swing of her sword, Xena GUTS him like a fish.

BOADICEA

Runs a warrior through with her sword, then kicks one behind her.  She throws her DAGGER into the throat of another, killing him instantly.

XENA

Does this amazing spinning, aerial kick with both of her legs, taking out four men in a second.

With all the men done in, it's time for introductions.

XENA (CONT'D)

Had yourself in quite the quagmire there.

BOADICEA

Probably would've been stuck in it too if it weren't for you.

XENA

Think nothing of it.

Boadicea puts out her hand.

BOADICEA

The name's Boadicea.

Xena puts out her hand and the two shake.

XENA

Xena.

BOADICEA

(eyeing chakram)

That's quite a weapon you got there.

XENA

It's a gift from a friend.

BOADICEA

Must be some friend.

XENA

So, what happened between you and those guys?  Ya turn 'em down for a date?

Boadicea smiles.

BOADICEA

No, I'm helping the Belgae tribe in their war against the people beyond the Rhine.  I have a camp not far from here.  Would you like to join us?

XENA

Well, I don't wanna impose.

BOADICEA

Oh you wouldn't be.  Consider it as a thank you for saving my life.

XENA

Mmm...okay.

Xena sheathes her sword and puts her chakram on her belt.  She WHISTLES for her horse and she hops on it.  She turns to Boadicea and puts out her hand.

XENA (CONT'D)

C'mon, hop up.

Looking back at her fallen soldiers(the ones in the red and gold armor):

BOADICEA

I can't leave the fallen here.

(facing Xena)

They deserve a proper funeral and burial.

XENA

We don't have the time or the resources to help them now.  Those men who attacked you could be back at any moment with reinforcements.  We can come back for your men later.

Xena's convinced Boadicea.

BOADICEA

Alright.

Boadicea takes Xena's arm and gets on the horse.  The two ride off.

Ext. Boadicea's camp - dAY

There's numerous TENTS and HUTS around.  We see MEN sparring, practicing swordplay, and archery.

Xena rides into Boadicea's camp like she owns the place.  At first the men there are alarmed, but they settle down when they see Boadicea.

The two warriors dismount the horse.

BOADICEA

Everyone, this is Xena.  She saved my life in a confrontation I had while I was out scouting.  She's going to join us in our fight against the people beyond the Rhine.

The men give Xena a hearty welcome.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

(to Xena)

Come with me; I want you to meet my second in command.

Xena and Boadicea walk a short distance over to where two men are sparring with swords.  One is tall, dark, and gruesome looking.  Xena and Boadicea watch him as he defeats his opponent.

XENA

He's pretty good.

After he wins his match, the tall, dark, gruesome man turns around and we can see that it's DARPHUS!

FADE OUT

END ACT ONE

Act two

Fade in:

Ext. CAMP - daY (FLASHBACK)

Where we left off.

BOADICEA

Xena, this is Darphus; Darphus, Xena.

The two shake hands and grunt as we...

Int. ship - cabin - daY (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle are seated at a table.  They both have food and water in front of them.

GABRIELLE

So that's how you met Darphus?

XeNA

Yeah.  Ever since we went to India, I've been seeing that whole gauntlet business with Darphus as karma.

Int. Boadicea's hut - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Boadicea is looking at MAPS on her desk.  Xena and Darphus are there with her.  Xena is now wearing some snazzy red and gold armor.  She's joined Boadicea's army as one of her lieutenants.  There's some obvious tension between Xena and Darphus.

BOADICEA

The people beyond the Rhine have to cross the river to get to us.  I say we have scouts on watch to alert us when they'll cross next and we can make an attack then.

Darphus

I think it could work.

XENA

I disagree.

DARPHUS

Big surprise.

BOADICEA

Darphus--

DARPHUS

No, I'm sick and tired of her always opening her big mouth, acting like she leads this army and I'm sick and tired of you always listening to her.  You made her a lieutenant after only a month.  There are men who have been for years--

BOADICEA

Xena was made a lieutenant after only a month because of her exceptional abilities when it comes to warfare.  I've come to learn that if she has something to say about war, it's worth listening to.

Darphus drops it, but he's still obviously bothered by Xena's presence in the army.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

Xena, did you have a better plan of attack?

Xena looks as Darphus, smug as hell, then turns her attention to Boadicea as she says this:

XENA

Yes, I do.

BOADICEA

Let's hear it.

XENA

We have the scouts keep watch, then have them get captured.

DARPHUS

Oh yeah, that's brilliant.

XENA

I haven't finished Darphus.  We have the scouts lead the bastards straight to our camp if they'll let them live.  Once they reach our camp, we surround them from all sides and have archers in the trees.

DARPHUS

If we do it that way they'll see our defenses.

XENA

Not if we kill them all.

BOADICEA

(smiling)

That's awfully cocky, thinking we'll be able to kill them all if we let them in our camp.

DARPHUS

Not to mention stupid.

XENA

Not cocky; confident.

(to Darphus)

If you've got any better ideas, let's hear 'em.

Darphus doesn't so he shuts his trap.

XENA (CONT'D)

Boadicea, it's up to you.

Darphus shoots Boadicea a look that begs her not to go along with Xena's idea.  Boadicea has such a good poker face that not even Xena has any inkling to what she'll do.

BOADICEA

We'll try it your way Xena.  You've never failed me before.

DARPHUS

There's a first time for everything.

BOADICEA

Darphus, whether you like it or not, Xena is apart of this army and I expect for you to treat her with the same respect that you treat every other man in this army.  Do you understand me?

DARPHUS

Yes, I understand you.

Darphus sulks out of the hut.

XENA

Thanks.

BOADICEA

It's the least I could do.  You've done plenty more for me and this army.  Now let's get to work on that plan of yours.

Boadicea smiles at Xena.  Xena smiles back.

Ext. BoADICEA'S CAMP - nIGHT

About a hundred men from beyond the Rhine enter Boadicea's camp, carrying various weapons.  They have several of Boadicea's men in chains.  The CAPTAIN walks in the front.

He sees the camp is empty.  He looks at Boadicea's men, confounded.

Captain

Where is everyone?

A MAN on Boadicea's side coughs.  We can see some of Boadicea's men moving through the trees and through the camp in the background.

Man

They had to tend to some business, but they'll be back.

CAPTAIN

And then we can ambush the--

SWOOSH!

ARROWS rain down from the trees, killing a multitude of men.

CaPTAIN (CONT'D)

Take cover! The scourges tricked us.

The men from beyond the Rhine lift their shields to deflect the oncoming arrows.

Boadicea and her army surround their enemies and a huge battle ensues.

BOADICEA

Is fierce in battle.  She hits her opponents hard and fast, using her sword and shield.

DARPHUS

Is almost as good as Boadicea.  He takes out soldier after soldier.

XENA

Watches him as he fights, impressed.  She kicks a warrior in the face, then CARVES an X into his chest with her sword.  She swings around and SLITS a warrior's throat before BACKHANDING another.

BOADICEA

Now has two swords and is taking on two men at the same time.  The men manage to hold their own for a little, but the Iceni queen eventually bests them and knocks them out.

DARPHUS

Sends his sword straight through two warriors charging him.  He pulls out his blade and STABS another in the back.

XENA

Leaps through the air and somersaults, landing on two men.  They're out of the game.

THE CAPTAIN

Approaches Xena.  Big mistake.

He and the warrior princess engage in battle.

The rest of the fight fades into the background as the captain and Xena duke it out.

BOADICEA

Brings her sword down so hard that she nearly takes the arm off one of the soldiers.  She hits him over the head with the POMMEL of her sword, knocking him out.

XENA

THRUSTS her sword at the captain.

THE CAPTAIN

Jumps back to avoid the blow, but becomes somewhat off balance.

XENA

Takes this opportunity to KICK him in the chest, knocking him on his ass.  She thrusts her sword in the ground, but...

THE CAPTAIN

Rolls to the side and kicks Xena in the abdomen, pushing her back long enough to get to his feet and grab his weapon.

Boadicea's army is slaughtering their foes.  There's barely any of the hundred left.

Back to Xena and the captain.  The two are a flurry of blades and kicks.

XENA

Punches the captain and gets a chance to run him through, but pauses.

THE CAPTAIN

Seizes this pause and sweeps Xena's legs from underneath her.

XENA

Turns to look at Boadicea.

BOADICEA

Sees Xena's in trouble and rushes to help her.

THE CAPTAIN

Is about to run Xena through when...

BOADICEA

Kicks him in the back.

THE CAPTAIN

Is about to fall on top of Xena, but...

XENA

Kicks him in the gut, making him fall backwards.

BOADICEA

Is about to deliver the final blow when...

XENA

No!  He can give us the information we need to defeat your enemy.

BOADICEA

Gives the captain one good, swift kick to the jaw, knocking him out.

The battle ends in Boadicea's favor.  Boadicea is referring to the captain when she says this:

BOADICEA

(to her men)

Chain this man up and put him in our holding area.

Xena hugs Boadicea.

XENA

See, I told you we'd win.

BOADICEA

How could we lose with you on our side?

XENA

Hey, you saved my life this time.

BOADICEA

Just repaying the favor.  I'm still indebted to you though.  This was your plan after all.

Darphus is visibly jealous at the attention Boadicea is showing to Xena.

Int. ship - cabin - daY (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle are still sitting at the table.  Gabrielle takes a swig of water.

GABRIELLE

So you let her save you to gain her trust?

XENA

Pretty much.

GABRIELLE

Didn't you already have it by saving her life and helping her lead her army?

XENA

I probably did, but I wanted to cement the bond between us as friends.  The stronger our bond the stronger our trust.

GABRIELLE

And the less she would expect you of betraying her.  I'm a little happy I didn't meet you before you repented.  I don't know if I would've been able to get through to you in those days.

XENA

Don't underestimate yourself.

Gabrielle beams.  She loves the fact that Xena has such confidence in her abilities to turn people around.

GABRIELLE

So what happened next?

Ext. BoADICEA'S CAMP - niGHT (FLASHBACK)

The mess from the previous battle is being cleaned up.  Xena and Darphus are with Boadicea, who's giving orders to her men.

BOADICEA

Put a guard in each quadrant to alert if the enemy comes.

XENA

You should have several guards in each quadrant.  That way if an enemy attacks, one can report back to camp to alert us and the rest can try to mount a defense.  Also, set out some bear traps and take those tree trunks.  You can cut them down and attach them to lines.  If tripped, the swinging force behind them could take out several men.

BOADICEA

That's just...wow.  Alright men, you've heard what Xena said.  Get to it.

Boadicea turns her attention back to Xena.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

Always looking out for me, huh?

XENA

That's what friends are for.

At this point, it's pretty obvious to everyone in the camp that Boadicea is completely smitten with Xena.

BOADICEA

I want you to have dinner with me tonight in my hut.

XENA

I'd be honored.

Darphus shoots the two a look that seemingly goes unnoticed by the warrior women.  Clearly, Darphus is annoyed that the two are getting along so well.

BOADICEA

Darphus, you'll keep watch over camp while we have dinner won't you?

DARPHUS

Yeah, sure.

Darphus walks off.

BOADICEA

Don't worry, he'll warm up to you.  Eventually.

Int. BOADICEA'S HUT - night (FLASHBACK)

Xena and Boadicea are sitting down on a bench.  They've finished dinner and are now working on their weapons.  Boadicea is sharpening her sword; Xena's cleaning her chakram.  Boadicea is once again captivated by Xena's weapon of choice.

BOADICEA

One of these days, you'll have to teach me how to use that thing.

XENA

Sorry, but I share my weapons with no one.

BOADICEA

Fair enough. I must say Xena that I'm very fascinated by you.

XENA

Me?  Why?

BOADICEA

I've never met anyone like you, male or female.  You're extraordinary.

XENA

You're nothing to sneeze at either.

BOADICEA

Compared to you I am.  That's why I can't believe that leader was able to get you on the ground.

XENA

We all slip up now and then.  It only goes to show that I'm human just like everyone else.

BOADICEA

You know, you never told me why you came to Gaul.  In fact, you haven't told me much about you at all.

XENA

I've always wanted to come to Gaul.  A dear friend of mine was from here.  She taught me some of my best moves.

BOADICEA

Was?

Xena is full of hate and misery when she says these next lines.  She also GRIPS her chakram harder.

XENA

She's dead now.  Years ago, I had my legs broken at the order of a man by the name of Caesar.  My friend, M'lila, she rescued me, took me to a healer.  While we were there, Caesar sent some men after us and there was a fight.  My friend died protecting me.

BOADICEA

I'm so sorry Xena.

XENA

Don't be sorry for me.  I feel that all of my experiences have made me into a better person.

BOADICEA

And how do you feel about Caesar?

XENA

Mostly I feel like slitting his throat with my chakram.

BOADICEA

Remind me to never get on your bad side.

XENA

That'll never happen.

BOADICEA

What about your family?

XENA

I don't have a family.

BOADICEA

What about a--

XENA

Let's talk about you now.

BOADICEA

Alright.  I was born of Belgae Royalty, but my people are in southeastern Britannia.  I left home early to pursue a career as a warrior.  Then I heard about the wars with the people beyond the Rhine and I decided to aid my distant relatives in battle.  Before I left home, I became engaged to Prasutagus, the next in line to inherit the Iceni throne.  At first, I didn't wanna marry him. I thought a man would constrict my career as a warrior.  Surprisingly, he supported my career as a warrior and encouraged me to go off and fight.  When I return to Britannia, he and I will be married.

XENA

So you love him?

BOADICEA

Love is a strong word for someone you haven't seen in years.  I like him and I could learn to love him.  I suppose.

XENA

When are you planning on returning to Britannia?

BOADICEA

Soon. This war is turning toward our favor now that we have you.

XENA

And after we win, what will become of your army?

BOADICEA

They'll become apart of the royal army.  I know it's not as adventurous as what they're doing now, but it's better to be working than not working.

The women share a laugh.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

I want you to come with me to Britannia as well.

XENA

What?  You want me to serve in your royal army too?  I don't think so.

BOADICEA

Of course not.  I know you.  I'll find something worthy of the warrior princess.

They laugh again.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

But seriously Xena, I want you by my side.

XENA

I'll think about it.

Int. sHIP - CABIN - nIGHT (PRESENT)

Xena is taking off her weapons and armor.  Gab takes her sais out of her boots.

GABRIELLE

Did you really think about it or were you still dead set on getting her army?

XeNA

What do you think?

GABRIELLE

Right.  Stupid question.

Gabrielle begins making up the bed.

GABRIELLE (CONT'D)

So what happened next?

Ext. bOADICEA'S CAMP - nIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Boadicea, Xena, and the army are riding into camp.

XENA

(VO)

We had just finished a major battle, implementing one of my plans.  During the battle, I had saved Boadicea's life again.

Xena and Boadicea dismount from their horses.  Darphus rides up behind them and dismounts from his horse.  Boadicea approaches her two lieutenants.

BoADICEA

I need to speak with both of you in my hut immediately.

Boadicea leads the two adversaries toward her hut as we...

Int. bOADICEA'S HUT - cONTINUOUS

Boadicea enters then turns to face Darphus and Xena, who are just now entering.

BOADICEA

I felt it was best that we did this in private.

XENA

Do what?

BOADICEA

Xena, you're a warrior of unparalleled ability.  I know I've said this many times before, but it bears repeating.

Darphus rolls his eyes.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

You also have an uncanny ability to wage war.  And that's why I'm promoting you to my second in command.

Darphus is livid.

DARPHUS

WHAT?!!! She-she can't just take my position!  I've been here with you for you years, I've aided you--

BOADICEA

Darphus, you may have the time, but Xena has the skills.  Sorry.  This isn't personal.  I'm only doing what's best for the army.

DARPHUS

Oh, right, what's best for the army.  This has nothing to do with the fact that she's your girlfriend.

Xena is quietly enjoying this argument throughout the rest of this scene.

BOADICEA

Yes, it's true that Xena and I are friends, but it has nothing to do with that.  It's all about Xena's capabilities.

Darphus scoffs.

DARPHUS

I quit.

Darphus exits the hut in a huff.

BOADICEA

It's such a shame to have to lose one of my best warriors.  He didn't use to be such a dastardly fellow.  I can't understand why he doesn't like you.  He should be looking up to you rather than hating you.  You're an example for us all.

XENA

I'll go after him.

Xena heads for the exit, but before she can leave:

BOADICEA

Maybe you should give him a while Xena.

XENA

Someone should talk to him.

BOADICEA

Alright; go ahead.

Xena exits the hut as we...

Ext. BOADICEA'S CAMP - cONTINUOUS

Now outside of the hut, Xena's disdain for having to report to Boadicea is clearly written on her face for just a second.  She stops a SOLDIER.

XENA

Where did Darphus go?

Soldier

He headed into the woods.

Xena takes off.

Ext. Woods - nIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Xena enters the woods.

XENA

Darphus?!  Darphus?!

WHAM!

Xena is punched in the jaw.  She drops to the ground.  She focuses her gaze on her attacker.

XENA'S POV-Darphus holding his sword at Xena's throat.

DARPHUS

Let's see what you're really made of Xena.

XENA

Alright.

DARPHUS

Tries JAMMING his sword into Xena's throat. 

XENA

Catches it with her hands and kicks Darphus in the groin, then in the chest, sending him staggering back.

DARPHUS

Still has his sword.

XENA (CONT'D)

Impressed?

DaRPHUS

Hardly.

DARPHUS

Charges Xena, swinging his sword wildly.

XENA

Jumps backward.  Her feet land on a tree and she pushes off of it and leaps in the air.  As she passes Darphus, she kicks him in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground.

XENA

I could do this all night.

Xena's glibness is starting to get to Darphus.

DARPHUS

Leaps off the ground and dives at Xena, sword in hand.

XENA

Does a jumping, spinning kick that hits Darphus in the neck.

The force from the kick makes Darphus do a back handspring.  He lands face down in the ground.  Before he can get up,

XENA

Puts her foot on the back of his neck, draws her sword, presses it against the side of Darphus' face.

DARPHUS

Go on, kill me, you bitch!

Xena

You fool.  I don't wanna kill you.  As a matter of fact, I want your help.

ON DARPHUS

His face is in total shock.

ON XENA

She's got a sly grin on her face as we...

FADE OUT

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

Int. sHIP - CABIN - nIGHT (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle climb into bed.

GABRIELLE

Darphus?  You asked Darphus for help?  What were you thinking?  What made you think you could trust him?

Gabrielle snuggles up to Xena.  Xena is looking up at the ceiling.

XENA

Power.  Darphus wanted power just as much as I did.  I could see it in his eyes.

Ext. Woods - nIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Where we left off with Xena and Darphus.

DARPHUS

What do you need my help for?

XENA

I wanna take Boadicea's army.

DARPHUS

See, I knew you were a conniving bitch.  You may have Boadicea fooled, but not me.  No deal.  I can't wait to tell Boadicea your plan.  I'm more than sure I'll get my position back.

XENA

One, do you really think Boadicea would trust you over her new best friend? And two, if you don't agree to my plan do you really think I'd let you leave here alive?

DARPHUS

Got all your bases covered, huh?  So what's in your little betrayal scheme for me?  I'm definitely not gonna help you betray Boadicea for nothin'.

XENA

I don't expect you to.  If you help me take Boadicea's army, then I'll make you my second in Command.

DARPHUS

You're not offering much.

XENA

I'm offering you a whole lot more than what Boadicea is.  This war won't last much longer.  When it ends, Boadicea plans on returning to her homeland and getting married.  You'll become apart of the royal army.  It's a secure job, but it won't make you wealthy or give you power.  I'd be in a higher position in the army than you would.  You'll be nothing more than a guard.  You'll be a nobody in a sea of nobodies.  You join me and the world will be ours for the taking.  We'll become the greatest force the world has ever seen.

DARPHUS

So what do you need me for exactly?

XENA

I need you to convince Boadicea's men to follow me.  You've been with them longer; they trust you.  You do your part in my plan and you'll be handsomely rewarded.

DARPHUS

How do I know I can trust you?

XENA

It's trust me, die at my hands, or work as a lowly guard for the rest or your life.  What's it gonna be?

Xena releases some of the pressure her foot is putting on the back of Darphus' neck.

ON DARPHUS

He weighs his options.

DARPHUS

Okay.

Xena removes her foot from Darphus' neck, but keeps her sword on him as he gets up.

XENA

Smart boy.

DARPHUS

One other thing.

XENA

Yes?

DARPHUS

(sexual)

Are you apart of the deal?

XENA

Do I look that desperate to you?

ON DARPHUS

He's a mixture of hurt feelings and resentment.

Xena shoots Darphus a look that says go back to camp.  Darphus heads back to  camp.  Xena walks behind him.

Ext. Ship - deck - day (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle are near the side of the boat, fishing.

GABRIELLE

No wonder Darphus grew to hate you so much.  First you take his job, then you reject him like that.

XENA

If you had saw the way he looked, you would've been harsh in your rejection too.

GABRIELLE

Maybe.

XENA

You know, contrary to what some might think, I don't fall head over heels for every bad boy I see.

GABRIELLE

I get that now.

We pull back to reveal Yleina watching Xena and Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE (CONT'D)

Did Darphus come through for you right away or was he still difficult?

XENA

No, he did what he said he would.  And I just waited until he told me Boadicea's men were with me.

int. xena's hut - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Xena has her leather on.  She's putting her armor on when Darphus sulks in.

XENA

Yes?

DARPHUS

The men are backing you.

XENA

Are you positive?

DARPHUS

Yes.

(off her look)

Don't you trust me?

XENA

Trust you?  You're betraying your former leader.

DARPHUS

So are you.  Not to mention your "friend".

A small beat then:

XENA

Point taken.

int. BoADICEA'S HUT - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Boadicea is in there going over a map.

XENA

(VO)

If you remember, we captured a captain from one of the earlier battles. 

Xena enters Boadicea's hut.

Xena (CONT'D)

(VO)

Boadicea wanted us to get information out of him in a humane way.  I ordered for him to be tortured for a day straight.

XENA (CONT'D)

You wanted to see me?

BOADICEA

Yes. You ordered that the captain to be brutally tortured?

XENA

He wouldn't talk.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

BOADICEA

We're not in desperate times.  We're doing quite well actually.

XENA

We're at war.  We need information to win and the captain's gonna give it to us one way or another.

BOADICEA

We may be at war, but that doesn't mean we can't act with dignity and respect.  And it doesn't mean we can't treat our enemies with dignity and respect.

XENA

This is war.  Things get violent, people get tortured.  I don't see the problem.

BOADICEA

It's one thing to torture an opponent for information.  It's quite another to torture him until he's barely living.  That's the problem.  I'm starting to think that maybe you like torture and violence a little too much.

XENA

And I'm starting to think that maybe you're a little too soft for this line of work.

BOADICEA

It doesn't matter what you think.  I lead this army.  The captain is not to be harmed anymore.  I've come up with a new course of action.

XENA

Wanna fill me in on it?

BOADICEA

I want to use the captain as leverage to not only get back our captured, but to also arrange a peace talk.

XENA

These people are animals.  You said so yourself.  You can't talk peace with them.  The only way to deal with them is to kill them all.

ON BOADICEA

She's surprised at how brutal Xena is.

BOADICEA

You're not the woman I once thought you were.  When we first met, I thought you were a powerful woman, who was a little lost and looking to do what's right, but now...

XENA

But now?

BOADICEA

You seem so callous and ruthless.  I don't know what's gotten into you to make you behave this way, but I don't like it.

Xena's demeanor changes.  She appears to be more softer and somewhat emotional.

XENA

If I seem more hard than before, it's only because we're so close to winning.  I want this victory to come swiftly for you so that you can get home as soon as possible to Prasutagus.

ON BOADICEA

Once she understands Xena's "motives", she lets her guard down a bit.

BOADICEA

Just tone down the cruelty.  Okay?

XENA

I will.  Are we done here?

BOADICEA

Yes.

Xena turns to leave.

BOADICEA (CONT'D)

Oh, and Xena?

Xena stops and turns back around.

XENA

Yeah?

BOADICEA

Are we still on for dinner tonight?

XENA

Yeah, sure.

Xena exits the hut, an annoyed look on her face.  Boadicea smiles.  She still thinks Xena's her friend.

Ext. ShiP - DECK - dAY (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle are gutting and cleaning the fish they caught.  Yleina's men are moving about, taking care of their tasks.

GABRIELLE

Did you listen?

XENA

Of course not.  I had a plan to follow through on and I was nothing if not insolent in those days.

GABRIELLE

In those days?

Xena ignores Gabrielle's attempt at a joke.

XENA

I ordered the captain to be killed.

GABRIELLE

Boadicea must've really chewed you out for that one.

XENA

She tried.

Int. BOADICEA'S HUT - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Xena enters Boadicea's hut.  Boadicea is so furious she could scream.

XENA

You sent for me?

BOADICEA

You ordered for the captain to be killed?!

XENA

Yeah.

BOADICEA

I thought I told you to cut down on the cruelty.

XENA

And I did.  I just told the soldier to run him through, straight to the heart.  I'd doubt it if the captain felt much pain.

BOADICEA

That's not what I meant and you know it. I wanted to barter the captain for our men and to try and talk peace.  I can't do that anymore.  Thanks to you.

XENA

Sure you can.  The people beyond the Rhine don't know that we killed the captain.  Just dress one of our men up in the captain's uniform and make the trade.  They probably have so many captains I doubt they'll catch on.  We can even have our man spy on them and report to us what he finds out.

BOADICEA

You're missing the point Xena.

XENA

What is the point?

BOADICEA

We're not supposed to be acting like wretched snakes.  Warriors, true warriors, are supposed to be honorable and respectable, even in times of war.  I thought I made that perfectly clear to you earlier.

XENA

You keep thinking like that and we'll never win this war.  Trust me, I know a thing or two about this stuff.

BOADICEA

That may be true, but I can't have you fighting by my side anymore;  You're too much of a liability.  It was a mistake to have you as my second in command.  I'm sorry Xena, but you have to go.

XENA

Go?  I'm not going anywhere.  This is my army now.

ON BOADICEA

She's bemused by Xena's last line.  She thinks that she's still in control of the army.

BOADICEA

You've really lost it.

XENA

Guards!!!

Several well armed MEN come rushing into the hut.  They surround Boadicea.

XeNA (CONT'D)

Take her and chain her up.

The men grab Boadicea and begin to take off her weapons.  Boadicea is in total shock.

BOADICEA

What are you doing?  I'm your leader.

MAN2

We follow Xena: warrior princess now.

BOADICEA

Xena, what have you done?

The men drag Boadicea outside.  Boadicea's eyes stay on Xena the whole time.

BOADICEA'S POV-Xena grinning wickedly.

Fade out

END ACT THREE

Act four

Fade in:

int. shIP - cabin - night (PRESENT)

Xena and Gabrielle are having dinner.  On the menu: the fish they caught.

GabRIELLE

Xena, I know you said she wasn't your friend, but she thought she was.  It didn't bother you at all, betraying her?

XENA

The only thing I had on my mind was becoming the greatest power the world had ever seen.  People be damned.

GABRIELLE

Didn't you say you ordered for her to be killed?

XENA

Yeah, but I wanted to have some fun first.

Ext. BoadiceA'S CAMP - dAY (FLASHBACK)

Xena's new army is all around.  Boadicea is in chains with Darphus holding on to her.  Xena enters the frame.

XENA

(to Darphus)

Unchain her.

Darphus undoes Boadicea's chains.

XENA (CONT'D)

Give her a sword.

DARPHUS

What?

XENA

You heard me.

DARPHUS

I heard you.  What I didn't hear is that you lost your damn mind.  Why don't you just kill her?

XENA

This is my army now.  You'll do what I say when I say it.  Got it?

ON DARPHUS

He's so angry all the treasures in the world wouldn't make him happy.  His eyes burn into Xena's.

ON XENA

She returns Darphus' glare.  Her stare is unrelenting.

Darphus backs down and hands Boadicea a sword.

XENA (CONT'D)

Boadicea, seeing as how we were once friends, I'm gonna give you a chance to save your life.  You and I, a fight to the death, winner takes all.

BOADICEA

You expect me to trust you?  To believe that you'll actually fight fair?

XENA

You can trust me Boadicea.  Nothing would give me greater pleasure than killing you in fair combat.  At least not at the moment.

ON BOADICEA

Her face is one of uncertainty.

XENA (CONT'D)

C'mon Baodicea.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

BoadICEA

Alright.  On one condition.

XENA

Yes?

BOADICEA

You remove your chakram.  I've seen what that thing can do.  If you use that, then it won't be a fair fight.

Xena removes her chakram, throws it.  It gets stuck in the trunk of a tree.

XENA

(draws her sword)

Ready?

Boadicea gets a firm grip on her sword.

BOADICEA

Ready.

BOADICEA

Charges Xena.  Her eyes full of fury and hate for her former best friend.

XENA

Is a cool cucumber.  She doesn't budge an inch until...

BOADICEA

Leaps through the air and swings her sword at Xena.

XENA

Does a back somersault and kicks Boadicea in the face, knocking her on her ass.

BOADICEA

Is up on her feet in a second.

XENA

Braces herself against another charge from Boadicea.

Finally, we get swords clashing and hair flying.  Boadicea seems to be stronger than Xena, but Xena is the much better fighter.  Xena has landed a few blows in on the Iceni queen, but Boadicea hasn't even managed to hit the warrior princess once.

XENA

Does a jumping kick, hitting Boadicea in the chest.  She spins and does another kick, but...

BOADICEA

Ducks and kicks Xena in the abdomen.

XENA

Stumbles back a bit from the blow.

BOADICEA

Taking advantage of Xena's momentary lack of balance, knocks Xena's sword out of her hand.  She tries to deliver the final blow.

XENA

Does a backward somersault and kicks Boadicea in the chest.

BOADICEA

Loses her footing.

XENA

Runs up Boadicea's torso, does a backward somersault, then kicks her in the face.

BOADICEA

Goes flying back.

XENA

Grabs her sword and rushes toward Boadicea.

BOADICEA

Kicks a nearby warrior's sword out of his hand and steadies herself for the fast approaching Xena.

These two amazing women clash swords again.  This part of the fight is more brutal.  Fists and feet are flying as each warrior tries to gain the upper hand.

XENA

Kicks Boadicea right in the gut.

BOADICEA

Spins then knocks Xena's sword out of her hand using her own.  She swings her sword at Xena.

XENA

Kicks Boadicea's sword out of her hand.

The two engage in hand to hand combat.  The men are really starting to get into it now.  There's nothing like a good fight!

Xena and Boadicea trade several punches before Xena gets that wicked grin on her face.

XENA

Delivers an uppercut to Boadicea that would knock Tyson out.

BOADICEA

Falls to the ground.  As soon as she gets up...

XENA

Is on her with a series of damaging kicks.

Boadicea is all but finished when...

XENA

Uses a flying kick on her.

BOADICEA

Goes flying back into a tree.

ON XENA

She stares at her fallen opponent, disappointed.

XENA

You are pathetic.  I could fight better than that when I was crippled.  And you call yourself a warrior.  You're beneath me.  You don't even deserve to be killed by me.

Xena pulls her chakram out of the tree as she says this next line.  Her delivery is very calm and casual.

XENA (CONT'D)

Darphus finish her off.

Darphus hesitates.

XENA (CONT'D)

DID YOU HEAR ME?  I SAID FINISH HER OFF!!!

Darphus draws his sword, moves toward Boadicea.

Xena, her chakram back on her belt, watches with glee.

Darphus is now directly over Boadicea.  He's about to run her through when Boadicea finds her second wind.  She manages  to grab Darphus' sword, stab him with it, then throw him.  It's only a flesh wound though.

Xena's thoroughly annoyed with Darphus' warrior skills or lack thereof.

Boadicea nabs a horse and takes off.  Darphus gets up, holding his wound.

DARPHUS

(to the men)

Go after her!

XENA

No.  No, she's nobody important.  Hardly a threat without an army.  Darphus tell the men to be ready to go by dawn tomorrow.  We're heading for Greece.

Xena turns to leave, but Darphus grabs her arm.

DARPHUS

What about the Belgae?  They still need help with the people beyond the Rhine.

XENA

That's their problem; not mine.  Tell the men to be ready.

Darphus is clearly unhappy with Xena's decision, but doesn't question it.  He looks to the direction Boadicea rode off in.

Int. SHIP - CABIN - nIGHT (PRESENT)

Our girls are still enjoying their dinner.

GaBRIELLE

Why'd you let her go?

XENA

I got what I wanted from her.  I never thought she'd be a formidable opponent.  She was too soft and full of nobility.

GABRIELLE

But she came back for you.

XENA

Yeah, her and Prasutagus.

Ext. Xena's camp - nigHT (FLASHBACK)

All of Xena's men are out like a light.

INT. XENA'S tent - cONTINUOUS

Xena is fast asleep in her tent, wearing nothing but her Evil Xena leathers from the Armageddon Now eps.

XENA

(VO)

Boadicea and Prasutagus had found me and my army on our way back to Greece.  They tried to do a sneak attack.

Battle noises are coming from outside.  Xena awakens with a stir.

XENA (CONT'D)

(VO)

What they hadn't counted on was me having my men set up booby traps around our campsite.

Xena grabs her chakram and sword and heads outside as we...

EXT. XENA'S CAMP - CONTINUOUS

A battle's going on.  Xena's army is up against Boadicea's.  Boadicea's army is significantly smaller than Xena's, but she and PRASUTAGUS are trying to hold their own.

DARPHUS

Is killing men left to right, enjoying every minute of it.  He's clearly been taking lessons from Xena.

Prasutagus is very handsome and strong looking.  No wonder Boadicea likes him.

XENA

(VO)

By the time Boadicea and Prasutagus reached my camp, their army had been severely thinned and were no match for mine.

Xena joins the melee.  She crosses blades with several warriors and kills them all within seconds.

A WARRIOR ON HORSEBACK

Charges Xena.

Leaping through the air:

XENA (CONT'D)

ALALALALALAALALA!!!!!

XENA

Grabs the warrior and tosses him off his horse and takes it for herself. She begins to ride through the camp, picking off Boadicea's men with her sword.  She leaps out of her saddle and stirrup and kicks two men on horseback coming her way.

THE TWO MEN

Hit the ground hard.

BOADICEA

Is on horseback, doing battle with one of Xena's men.  She catches Xena's eye.

XENA (CONT'D)

Not very smart of you to come after me Boadicea.

BOADICEA

Kills the man she's fighting.

BOADICEA

You started this Xena.

The two women charge each other.  An epic fight on horseback ensues.  The two women are almost equally matched in sword skill, but Xena eventually lands on top and kicks Boadicea off of her horse.

XENA

Now, I get to finish what I started.

XENA

Prepares to plunge her sword into Boadicea.

PRASUTAGUS

(O.S.)

YAH!

XENA

Sees Prasutagus approaching.

XENA'S POV-Prasutagus swinging his sword at her head.

XENA

Does a somersault, making Prasutagus miss her.

XENA

ALALALALALASHEEEEEYA!

Xena lands a good distance away from the battling couple.  She turns to face them.

PRASUTAGUS

Charges her again.

ONE OF BOADICEA'S MEN

Is charging Xena also.

XENA

Takes her chakram and slits the throat of the approaching man, then throws it at Prasutagus.  It hits Prasutagus' sword.  The sheer force from the chakram hitting Prasutagus' sword knocks Prasutagus off his horse.

Boadicea looks around and notices that over half of the men she had left have been killed by Xena's men.

BOADICEA

RETREAT!

Xena smirks.  Boadicea and Prasutagus climb back on their horses and ride off with what's left of their army.  Boadicea looks back at Xena as she rides away.

ON XENA

She has a disturbing smile on her face.

Int. ShIP - CABIN - nIGHT (present)

Xena and Gab have finished their dinner.

XENA

After that, I returned to Greece and that's when I ran into the horde.

GABRIELLE

Save that story for another time.  I don't wanna lose my dinner.

This makes Xena smile.

GABRIELLE (CONT'D)

I can't believe that Darphus started off as a good guy.  The picture of him that I have in my head just won't let me.

XENA

People will surprise you Gabrielle.  I never thought I'd grow up to be who I am today.

GABRIELLE

Did you think you'd be a simple tavern maiden?

XENA

No, but I didn't think I'd be a mass murderer either.

GABRIELLE

You got a little of course is all, but you've found your way back.  That's all that matters.

XENA

I guess.

YLEINA

(O.S.)

We've arrived.

We move over to Yleina. 

Ext. SHIP - DECK - niGHT

Xena and Gabrielle are walking in the middle of Yleina and her men.  Yleina's walking in the front.

WHAM!!!!

Gab is struck on the back of the head with a club.  She's out cold.

XENA

Immediately draws her sword, ready to defend Gab.

Yleina's men have their weapons on Xena and Gabrielle.

YlEINA

Put your sword away Xena or you'll lose your friend.

XENA

Keeps her sword right where it is, ready to pounce when she sees an opening.

yleINA (CONT'D)

I mean it, Xena.  I'll have her killed.

XENA

Then you won't have any leverage against me.

YLEINA

True, but then you won't have your girlfriend anymore.

ON XENA

What to do...what to do... .  Xena finally decides it's best to sheathe her sword.

XENA

Is hit on the back of the head with a SPEAR.  The spear breaks when it hits Xena's head.  Xena's out.

ON YLEINA

A satisfied smile creeps across her face.

Fade to black

Continued




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