Part 8

Present Day

It's late and I don't feel like answering the phone, but I force myself to answer it anyway. Cameron still hadn't called me yet and I think it might actually be her until I hear Anna's voice when I pick it up. "Why the fuck are you calling me so late? Don't they keep people like you strapped to the bed?"

"Will you please act like a human being for just a little while?" Anna pleads softly

I yawn loudly into the phone making sure Anna can almost feel my disinterest in her phone call. "If you wanted 'human being' An then you called the wrong fucking number."

"Why do you always have to make everything so difficult?"

"Because I enjoy it. Now what the hell do you want?"

"I don't even know why I keep on trying to talk to you, Gwen." Anna sounds like she's crying. I'm tired of listening to her tears. I got tired of them a very long time ago. "I can't say anything to you anymore. It's like talking to a wall that only feels the need to insult me."

"It's past two in the morning, Anna. What is it you want exactly?"

There's a long silence in which I contemplate hanging up the phone but eventually Anna answers me, which makes me regret not hanging up when the perfect opportunity arose. "I'm afraid I won't be able to do this."

"Why aren't you calling Cameron?" I thought I made it clear that I was withdrawing myself as a support system. When she walked away from me in anger I thought we had reached an agreement or at the very least a verbal contract.

"I don't want to bother her."

I yawn again. "What is it you want me to say exactly?" I know I can still hang up the phone and make Anna's voice go away for the moment but I still haven't figured out a way to make her voice go away permanently without taking an obscene amount of sleeping pills to drown myself into a sleepless oblivion.

"I want to talk to my big sister," Anna's voice doesn't sound as hardened as it has become over the years. She sounds younger; she sounds almost like Babygirl.

Well I don't want to talk to Babygirl. I don't want to talk to Anna. I don't even want to be on the phone. I'd like to sleep. We made our deal. I'm disappearing from her life. I'm kicking her out and letting her find someone else to take my place. It's time Babygirl finally turns into a big girl. "I remember when I took you to your first tennis lesson when you were seven. You started getting frustrated because you couldn't hit the ball quite right, and when the instructor saw you so upset he asked you if you wanted to quit. You just set your jaw and told him that you were going to get it right and your very next swing was perfect."

Anna laughed lightly. "I remember he looked surprised, but you weren't. You were proud of me then."

I was proud and I was happy to see that my Babygirl was determined to get things right. Seeing her then made me believe that she was going to turn out to be a competent fantastic human being despite everything that had happened to her. Seeing her then made me believe that I had done something right and that she wasn't ever going to end up like her alcoholic, abusive, molester of a father…or end up like me. It would seem that I judged too soon on that one. "You need to set your jaw again, Anna, to get through this. Just tell yourself that you'll get it right and I'm sure you will."

Immediately after I stop talking I hang up the phone. I don't want to hear what Anna has to say. She got what she wanted from me and now I feel dirty and used. I should change my phone number so that she doesn't have a way to contact me anymore. It's about time she starts respecting my decision to kick her out of my life.

My phone rings again. "I gave you what you wanted so leave me the fuck alone. If you still feel fucked then just go kill yourself or something."

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" It's Cameron and I can hear in her voice that she's thrilled with having caught me at a 'bad time'.

"You're doing a really shitty job of sponsoring Anna's recovery."

"Is something wrong? Did something happen?" She sounds genuinely concerned, which only highlights her stupidity to me. She should know by now that being concerned about Anna could eventually kill a person. It's easier to not care.

"She was afraid and called me, not you. Isn't she supposed to call you?"

"For some reason, she still loves you, Gwen."

"Lucky me. So what the fuck do you want?"

"Do you still plan on doing my tour?"

It's good she's getting right to the point of this phone call. I don't feel like being fucked with right now. "Of course I am." I'm not about to let her out of my sights now. She's made her promises to Anna and I'm going to make sure that she sticks to them.

"Then meet me for rehearsal tomorrow."

She hangs up on me but it doesn't upset me too much because I know now for a fact that I've gotten under her skin. She's not letting me go either. She probably wants me to stay close to her because she's afraid what I might do while she's not watching. Cameron may have cleaned up her life, but I certainly haven't cleaned up mine and I don't have any plans to do so anytime soon. That sort of thing doesn't work for me.

Thirteen Years Prior

It had taken Allison longer than she wanted it to, but she had finally talked Gwendolyn into believing that she could do things differently. So piece by piece Gwendolyn had given up everything she had been doing before. She stopped making the pornographic videos and stopped her prostitution ring. She gave everything up because Allison had finally gotten her to believe that it was best for Anna in the long run.

Gwendolyn took up photography instead and started with taking pictures for some stupid studio in a mall. She didn't make nearly as much money as she had been making before which frustrated her to no end. It was hard for her to accept a paycheck that consisted of as much money as she would make in a day in her 'old' job. They weren't starved for cash, though, since Gwendolyn was good with her money and had saved so much from her previous business endeavors.

Kacia did get a full time job, because she felt she should start helping out more since Gwendolyn was making an effort to set things right in her life. They bought a bigger house so that Allison could move in with them and help them out even more with the kids. It was far from a conventional setup but it was the best they could do.

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into this." Gwendolyn sat across from Allison in their shared living room. "I fucking hate the mall."

"Hey keep it down," Allison chastised. "The girls are still up."

"They are?" Gwendolyn looked surprised. It was well past ten o'clock on a school night and normally the children were well into their time of slumber.

"They've been very energetic tonight. They seem very intent on finishing whatever it is they're reading." Allison explained.

A bright smile crept across Gwendolyn's face. She stood up and then ran to the girl's bedroom. She pushed open the door, surprising the two girls who were doing their best to read under the cover of a blanket while they held a flashlight between them. Gwendolyn jumped on the bed with them and pulled the book out from their loose grasps. "What are we reading tonight?" She asked as she looked at the cover of the book.

The three of them settled on the bed and Gwendolyn started to read to the two girls using the flashlight they had somehow taken from one of the kitchen's cabinets. It didn't take long for Lindsey and Anna to fall asleep to the soothing tones of Gwendolyn's voice.

When Allison finally decided to check on the trio, the two girls had fallen asleep across Gwendolyn's body. Allison walked up to Gwendolyn's barely awake form and leaned down. She brushed back a few strands of hair that had fallen across Gwendolyn's face. "This is why you let me talk you into changing," she whispered careful not to wake the two sleeping girls. "You're safe now to be happy without anything getting in the way."

Gwendolyn nodded and carefully removed herself from Anna's and Lindsey's grip on her. They rustled uncomfortably for a while before settling down again into sleep. Gwendolyn led Allison out of the room closing the door softly behind her. "I'll still do anything I have to for Babygirl." Gwendolyn softly said as soon as the door was firmly shut.

"I don't doubt it." Certain parts of Gwendolyn's personality still scared Allison and Allison was sure that they always would scare her. She wasn't convinced that since Gwendolyn had changed the things she was doing meant that Gwendolyn had changed all of her character traits. Gwendolyn seemed to be, almost innately, a dangerous person.

Gwendolyn settled her hand on Allison's waist. "Good." She leaned forward. "Don't start thinking I'm something I'm not."

Present Day

I make sure to show up at Cameron's rehearsal venue earlier than is absolutely necessary. I'm hoping she'll do the same and we'll have a moment alone together. Anna's phone call last night has irritated me enough that I now feel the need to make sure Cameron knows how much I didn't appreciate her trying to strangle me in her car. I was going to let it go since I was intentionally trying to provoke her, but I've changed my mind.

There's a chair already facing the door when I walk into the small club that Cameron's band manager informed me the rehearsal would be held. He also gave me a lot of information I didn't care to hear about at all, but I suppose he was compelled to share since he thinks I actually give a damn about being the photographer for Cameron's tour.

Cort. I think his name was Cort. The only reason I bothered to remember it was because he annoyed me enough for me to make note of what kind of car he drove so that I could set fire to it later. He actually had the audacity to tell me how to do a 'good' job. He told me what kind of camera's to bring and where I should set up like I was a complete amateur getting her first big break.

I take a seat in the chair and lean back carefully. There's a new bruise on my back from when Cameron slammed my head into her car door. She might have even managed to give me a slight concussion. If she keeps up attacking me like she has been then one of us is going to end up dead and I know that one of us won't be me.

It takes fifteen minutes of me sitting before Cameron walks through the door, thankfully alone. "You're here early," she says as soon as she sees me.

"I take my job seriously." This is more than apparent since I dressed up in a business suit for the occasion while Cameron looks like she just fell out of bed and then got in the car to get here. She's wearing old faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that has a tear on the lower left sleeve, but she can come dressed like that since she's supposed to be the cool musician and I'm supposed to be the uptight photographic artist of some sort.

She drops herself into the chair next to me no longer looking like she's in any pain from the beating I gave her a couple of nights ago. "I wasn't sure you'd show up at all."

"After I talked to Cort, I wasn't sure I was going to show up either." I hope she doesn't possibly think that I don't know she put Cort up to everything he did to annoy me. I've met with band managers before and most of them know that if they try and tell me what to do then I'll walk out on them or have them fired. Cort didn't look like a completely stupid man. "You're lucky I didn't have a match on me when I met him."

"I talked to Anna this morning."

"I don't fucking care for updates, Cammie."

"She said that if I saw you before she did that she wanted me to thank you." Cameron stands up and makes her way to the small stage in the front of this dimly lit, horrible smelling place. Cort said something about starting rehearsals here was a tradition before every tour. The place had nostalgia value for the great Cameron and her band.

I've never been here before myself, but it feels familiar. It reminds me of the clubs and bars I used to go to. Those days feel like a lifetime ago now. I used to come to places like this to find girls to work for me. I picked out the desperate ones who would have agreed to work for almost anyone who had enough money to pay their next rent check or electricity bill or for their next fix.

"Since I'm paying you to be here," Cameron calls from the stage, "why don't you help me with setting up? I'm sure you've done grunt work before."

I turn the chair around so that I'm facing her. "You're paying me to make you and your band look good in the pictures that are going to be circulated to your audience and sold for profit for your non-profit intentions. Nowhere in the contract that your manager signed did it say I would do your fucking grunt work."

"Cort signed a contract?"

I smile. "It might have been under duress." If she would consider duress me grabbing hold of his crotch and squeezing until he signed the contract I wanted him to sign. It gives me a twenty percent raise and complete independence in all decisions involving the photography aspect of this tour.

She doesn't look too happy right now but she should be thrilled with the fact that I left him alive. "How much money am I paying you to be here?"

"More than you want to know about."

Thirteen Years Prior

As soon as Gwendolyn got popular enough at the small studio in the mall she decided to do freelance work. It paid more money and got her out of the job she hated. Plenty of people were willing to hire her for their various important occasions and she started to become well-known for her talent. She still wasn't making as much money as she had been before, but she was making a decent income and had more free time since she was able to make her own schedule.

It seemed like she was finally achieving the stable normality that she had been seeking out for Anna ever since she had made her decision to remove her stepfather from their lives. This was how Gwendolyn pictured things to be. She pictured she would go to work during the day and see Anna off to school. She had pictured Anna smiling more and laughing and not being afraid to have fun. Gwendolyn had pictured Anna becoming a happy child, and now when Gwendolyn looked at her baby sister she did see a happy child surrounded by people who cared for her. Anna had even been given the opportunity to live with her best friend Lindsey and everyday they were becoming more and more like sisters.

Not only had Gwendolyn managed to get Anna away from the past but she had given her sister a future and a brand new family and she could only hope that it would last long enough for Anna to grow up surrounded in everyone's love. Gwendolyn promised herself that she would do everything she possibly could to keep things the same so she could keep Anna happy.

For the moment she considered her efforts a success and finally, at Allison's great urging, started to focus on herself a little more. Mostly that meant that she would cry sometimes while she was alone for what she thought was no reason whatsoever. She'd sit alone in her room and would be reading a book or just staring at the ceiling and then she would start crying.
The crying never lasted long, since Gwendolyn was more than afraid that Anna would walk in on one of her moments of weakness. She'd only let a few tears fall then would quickly dry her eyes and talk herself into believing that she was stupid for crying in the first place. Anna was happy, so Gwendolyn didn't think she had anything to cry about.

Eventually she got tired of crying alone in her room so started to leave the house again at night. She wanted to live her life without the emotions that were starting to plague her. So she had gone to a club that most people didn't even know existed. It was a small hole in the wall where no one knew who she was or who she had been or that she even had a little sister named Anna.

She drunk more than her fair share of liquor and somehow ended up on the stage with the band that had landed one of their very first gigs in front of an actual live audience. The band wasn't the greatest in the world, but the crowd worked with what they were given and cheered Gwendolyn on as she sang along with the lead singer, eventually drowning the other woman out with her stronger vocals.

The band's lead singer left the stage in a huff and made her way to the bar. After having a few drinks in her she agreed with the crowd that the woman currently on the stage did sound better than her and resolved herself to asking Gwendolyn to join them. The lead knew she could sing backup and it was more important to her that her band become famous than remain unknown and she had a feeling that if Gwendolyn joined them then they would get famous because Gwendolyn could obviously draw the attention of a crowd.

When the band stopped playing and the club was starting to close the lead singer asked Gwendolyn to join their unknown and not quite popular band. Gwendolyn was drunk enough to agree on the condition that the band teach her everything they knew about making and playing music, because Gwendolyn didn't care about getting famous she only cared to learn about the music that somehow had a pull over people that she didn't quite yet understand.

Present Day

I quickly got bored with taking pictures of Cameron's rehearsal and soon put my cameras away. When I'm finished packing away my gear I take the seat I had initially started out in and listen to them rehearse. They didn't sound too bad and I could tell how it was they had become so popular. They had a wide appeal with their songs and it probably helped them out a lot that not a single person in the band could have been considered ugly by any stretch of the imagination.

"If you're bored you can go ahead and leave." Cameron eventually calls out to me probably because I've been doing nothing but yawn as they've played. She seems a little irritated that I'm not impressed by her and her band's greatness.

"You shouldn't worry about it, Cammie, you always bore me." I smile and she smiles back but I'm sure she only does it for the sake of her band mates. She probably wants them to think that she and I are really good pals and that they shouldn't have any suspicions about our relationship whatsoever. It wouldn't be good for them to start asking too many questions. She wouldn't want them stumbling onto anything she doesn't want them to know. I'm sure she's kept a lot of secrets from them, especially those little pesky secrets that involve her illegal activities in the past. I'm sure they would be very interested to find out what exactly she did as an addict.

Calix, the drummer for this group leers at me, "If you're really bored I could always show you how to play the drums properly."

I leer back. "That's an offer I can't refuse." I stand up and keep my eyes focused on Calix as I approach the stage.

"You can show her when we're done rehearsing," Cameron says clearly irritated.

"It's not a big deal," Calix replies not breaking his gaze from mine.

When I finally get up to him I lean down slightly and whisper into his ear, "Show me what you have to offer."

Cameron lets out a disgusted sigh but doesn't bother to say anything. Calix starts giving me a 'drums for dummies' lesson and even gives me a few examples of what he's talking about. I don't pay much attention to anything that he's saying. Most of my attention is on Cameron. I want her to know that I'm doing all this for her benefit and not for Calix's.

Eventually Calix stops talking and stands up telling me that I should give playing the drums a try. He says I shouldn't be afraid if I mess up the first time around. I take his drumsticks from him and tell him that I think I've got everything under control. Cameron just tells me to try and keep up.

When I start playing everyone except Cameron turns to me in surprise at my hidden talent. Cameron ignores everyone and continues singing out their newest hit single. She's not even surprised when I supply her with backup vocals.

The song ends quickly and when it's over I stand up and give Calix his sticks back. "It's good you're a photographer cause otherwise I'd be outta a job."

"I'm not too sure about that." I still flirt with him only because I know Cameron won't want me to. She doesn't want me involved with her life and I don't really want to be a part of it, but unfortunately we've got something or rather someone in common. "I'll leave you to your rehearsing."

I pick my bags up before I walk out of this empty bar making sure to smile at Cameron on my way out. She's probably busy thinking about how it is she's going to get me back for whatever it is she thinks I've done to her today. It would appear that she doesn't want this to be an easy relationship. Cameron wants to play games; sure I may have started playing first but that in no way means she had to play with me. I'm a relatively reasonable type of person, despite what so many others may try to say about me-despite what Anna may have said about me.

I quickly put my equipment into my trunk and then check my cell phone for any missed calls. Melody is in school learning whatever it is they teach in a private elementary school these days and I am only mildly alarmed to see that I missed a call from her school. So I call them back without listening to whatever message they've bothered to leave me. They connect me with the principal who reluctantly informs me that Melody was taken out of school by her mother and that she thought they should call me to let me know.

"Do you fuck-heads ever read anything I send you?" I've already forgotten the principal's name and am suddenly feeling the need to write it down so I can remind myself to kill her later. "I've left explicit instructions that Anna Averson was never to be able to see Melody without my written approval or supervision."

"Yes ma'am, but there's a new office aid we just hired who didn't know"

"Shut the fuck up," I cut off her meaningless apologies. "You just better hope I find Melody and everything is going great for her, because otherwise I'll make sure your whole school gets shut down one way or another."

I slam my cell phone shut and walk back into the bar just as the band is packing up their equipment. My gaze goes directly onto Cameron and when she finally notices me she firms up her stance almost like she expects me to attack her or something.

"Where the hell is she?" Cameron doesn't look as confused as I'd like her to be. "I'm not completely against the idea of killing you with witnesses present."

Cameron takes a quick look around at her band friends then focuses back on me. "Not here." She jumps down from the stage and rushes past me to another part of the bar I've not felt the need to explore. I follow her keeping in mind that it would indeed be easier to maim her without everyone else seeing. At least with us being alone I could claim self-defense. I'd just have to pay off enough judges and lawyers to see my side of the story and that's a lot easier to do than many might think.

Thirteen Years Prior

Gwendolyn didn't want to go to the stripper club. She couldn't stand places like that. All the men in them reminded her of the same alcoholic man who decided he could get his jollies looking at and touching someone who didn't want anything to do with him. But this is where she was told her new band was going to be playing for the club's opening night.

The owners were trying to put a different twist to all the other adult clubs that lined the road. They wanted to have live music with a hot new cheap band and make the dancing a new experience for everyone. The owners wanted to put on a different show every week. They had great plans on how they could make themselves rich.

Gwendolyn didn't care if they got rich or not. She cared very little what the owners got out of selling the souls of young women, but she had already decided that she would play the gig anyway. If she gave into her disgust then she figured that would somehow make her weak. She would see it as giving into emotion she still didn't want to admit existed at all.

She drank three beers before they ever ended up on stage and sang like she did in rehearsal. She played with the crowd, making them believe she was promising them each individually sex and carnal satisfaction. They threw money at her like they would the other dancers and yelled out to her how much they wanted her body and exactly what they wanted to do to it.

She went to that place she went to when she was with her stepfather. Her body was moving and her voice was singing but she wasn't really part of any of it. Gwendolyn moved herself so far back into her own mind that she wasn't even fully aware when she hopped over to another stage as the band started in on their next song. She started dancing opposite one of the dancers as the music was being played.

The crowd grew quiet as they watched Gwendolyn start to circle the dancer in front of her. Her hand reached out and snagged inside the lower part of the dancer's costume. She pulled the dancer closer to her. Slowly Gwendolyn's hands ran down the dancer's body slowly pushing the other woman closer and closer to the floor of the stage, all the while still singing.

The upper part of the dancer's costume detached from the rest and Gwendolyn pulled at it exposing the woman's breasts to the crowd. She hovered above the dancer and swayed her hips to the beat of the song. She lowered herself down to the dancer's body and kissed the woman as the band played on. The crowd cheered and the dancer continued going wherever Gwendolyn led her slightly entranced by Gwendolyn's singing but also experienced enough to know that at the end of the song she could expect a lot of money being thrown her way.

Gwendolyn removed her lips from the dancer's and rocked herself gently over the other woman, their taught nipples rubbed together and the dancer, knowing it would play well with the crowd, arched her back and filled the stage with a loud sensuous moan. Gwendolyn smiled from above her and leaned down again but this time captured the dancer's nipple in her mouth. She bit down gently, this time eliciting a real moan from the dancer beneath her.

The band continued playing the last notes of the song as Gwendolyn kissed different parts of the stripper's body. First the dancer's breasts, then her stomach. She moved lower and lower convincing everyone in the place that she would continue her motion downwards past the waistband of the dancer's last piece of costume. When the song was over Gwendolyn glided off of the other woman's body only after kissing her deeply one last time for the crowd. When she stood up and looked around, the stage was covered with money. She smiled at the crowd as the dancer started collecting the bills.

"The band's taking a break," Gwendolyn announced to the great disappointment of the crowd. She hopped off the stage and immediately went to the dressing rooms in the back of the club, doing her best to avoid the many hands that reached out to touch her.

The tall brunette she had been dancing with joined her shortly after and tried to hand Gwendolyn her half the money, "Keep it all." Gwendolyn told the dancer. "You're the one that actually had to take your clothes off."

"But I wouldn't have gotten even half this much if it wasn't for you," the brunette put the money down next to Gwendolyn. "You did me a favor by making me an active member of your little song."

Gwendolyn opened her mouth to reply but a rush of bile got stuck in her throat before she could say anything. She ran to the private bathroom, made just for the dancers and club personnel, and slammed open one of the doors to the stalls. Her head barely made it above the toilet before she started throwing up. The brunette followed Gwendolyn to the bathroom. She wet a paper towel and then went into the stall Gwendolyn had disappeared into.

"Was this your first time?" The dancer asked as she handed Gwendolyn the wet paper.

Gwendolyn wiped her mouth then shook her head. "No."

The dancer smiled. "You seem like a pro. It's been a long time since I've had the privilege of working with someone as good as you."

Gwendolyn gave a slight grin back. "Thanks."

"So if this wasn't your first, then what's bothering you? Did you drink too much? I saw you at the bar earlier."

"Bad memories, that's all."

The brunette nodded her head knowingly. "Sometimes they can sneak up on you like that. You shouldn't worry about it."

That's all Gwendolyn could do about what happened to her, though, worry. She wasn't acting like she used to. Once upon a time it was easier for her to handle something as simple as singing a song while dancing exotically. She had never thrown up or gotten clammy skin or sudden chills that ran threw her body like a rush of tiny little insects flying through her veins and arteries.

She wasn't feeling well at all, but she did gather herself. She went back on that stage and sung through the rest of the night. She promised herself that she'd just forget her memories and be happy with the cash bonus her band had gotten.

Present Day

Cameron leads me to the back rooms of the stupid defunct club and into some staff bathrooms. "I've already told you I'm tired of you threatening me." She says as soon as the door is closed behind us.

I completely ignore her anger and take a step closer to her. "Where's Anna, Cammie?"

"What do you mean?" Now she looks as confused as I'd like her to be. Who the fuck did she think I was talking about in the first place? "Have you finally completely gone insane now? She's at the clinic where we left her."

"Don't play with me, Mendoza." I maintain my distance, but only because I know she's quick and I don't want her grabbing me and slamming me against any of these counters or walls before I can get a hold of her to do my own slamming.

"Why don't you try opening your mouth and try talking to me instead of at me?"

"Anna took Melody out of school today. She's no longer in the fucking clinic."

Cameron allows a minimal amount of concern show on her face but covers it up quickly by a certain air of nonchalance. "I'll help you find her."

"I can find her," I let a small sigh pass my lips. "I can always find her when I want to."

"Then why are you talking to me?" I open my mouth to speak but she silences me before I say anything. "Wait. I already know the answer to that one."

I nod. "Anna's a complete fuck up, Cameron. Whatever precious plans you have for you and her I'd bury them." I turn around to leave but feel a Cameron's hand on my shoulder before I can actually go anywhere. I look over my shoulder at her and raise my brow as a warning. She should know better than to touch me.

"You're not going to hurt her, are you?"

"If things ever went my way then my Babygirl would have died a long time ago so that I could live with some peace in my Hell." Her hand falls from my shoulder and she opens her mouth to say something but must think better of it and remains silent. I walk out the door and pull out my phone so that I can make calls to figure out where Anna has run off to this time.


Continued...