Peanut chuckled nervously as she frantically knocked on her friend's door. She gave the woman next to her an anxious smile.
The door swung open abruptly and Peanut accidentally knocked on Polly's head earning a nasty look from her friend. "What do you want?" Polly growled. "I have company."
"Company?" Peanut's voice shook. "Of course you have company? the party and all."
Polly's brow rose. "Party?"
Peanut chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Don't worry I only brought one friend," she nodded her head to the rotund woman standing next to her. "And alcohol," she added as she held up a large? very large case of beer. "Lots and lots of alcohol."
Polly narrowed her eyes at the case of beer. "What's wrong?" she asked lowly.
"Let's put this stuff on ice," Peanut smiled widely then pushed past her friend and walked through Polly's apartment towards the kitchen completely ignoring the young woman sitting confused on her friend's couch.
Polly watched her friend disappear then turned her attention back to the unknown woman standing outside her door. "I guess Peanut's not much for introductions. I'm Polly. Peanut's partner in evil deeds." She offered her hand politely to Peanut's companion.
The woman took Polly's hand smoothly. "Ooh." The woman responded. "Sounds nasty," she smiled lecherously. "I'm Francine."
Polly quickly yanked her hand back and wiped her hand inconspicuously on her pants and smiled courteously along with a fake chuckle. "Come in, won't you?"
Francine smiled broadly and glided into the room. Polly turned to her guest and was about to make introductions when she heard a crash from her kitchen. "I should go help Peanut with the drinks," she pointed in the general direction of the kitchen. "If you both could just hold on for a brief moment."
In the kitchen Peanut was taking a knife to a beer can. Polly ran over and grabbed her friend's arm before she connected with the unfortunate aluminum. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I just want one drink," Peanut growled as she fought over the knife with her friend.
"But you don't even drink really. And you hate beer!" Polly responded as she decided to let go of her friend's arm before someone got seriously injured. "You really need to take some deep calming breaths and put the knife down."
Peanut stared at her friend wide-eyed. "You don't understand," she said in a high-pitched voice. "I've wanted a freakin' drink all night. That woman," she pointed to the living room, "drives me to want to drink and keep on drinking until I don't notice she's there."
Polly's face scrunched up. "Who is she?"
Peanut's eyes narrowed. "She's the past," she whispered harshly. "She crept out of the deep recesses of my homeland and decided to come all the way here and make my life a roller coaster of fury."
"I'm still confused," Polly said as she ran her hand through her hair.
Peanut sighed heavily. "Francine and I have known each other for many, many years. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. At least half of that time she's, and I quote, 'has felt something for me that she's never felt for any one else and I'm like no one else she's ever met'."
Polly raised her brow and crossed her arms in front of her. "Why have I never heard of this Francine before?"
Peanut's head dropped. "She's the past. She lives in freakin' Texas. I'm only supposed to have seen her on the odd chance that we met outside of one of our parents' homes. She was never supposed to come here. Never."
"So you just left her in Texas thinking that she'd stay there and you'd never have to deal with her except for holidays?"
Peanut nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm not into hurting her feelings, but she kind of has a hard time understanding that I don't enjoy flirting with her and that I don't think she's god's gift to women, men, and other. I mean it's great that she has good self-esteem and all, but seriously. I don't know," Peanut grabbed her head the knife still firmly in her grasp, "maybe I just have way different tastes than she does. It's not that she's unattractive, it's just that I don't find her appealing in any way possible and the idea of sleeping with her makes me vomit a little."
Polly couldn't help but let out a soft snort of laughter. "That's mean."
Peanut raised her hands in the air. "I know. Which is precisely why I can't tell her that. I don't want to hurt her."
"And what does your significant other think about her?"
Peanut's face dropped. "She hates her. And it's not in a jealous way. She's just afraid that any time I hang out with her that I'll end up with tattoos, piercings in unusual places, different colored hair, illegal drugs, weapons, and stuff like that."
"Oh." Polly thought for a moment. "So is that how you ended up with that thing?"
Peanut's face show no recognition. "What thing?"
"Y'know that thing," Polly pointed at Peanut's left breast.
In pure reflex Peanut grabbed her boob. "Uh?"
"She did that?" Polly asked smiling. "You let her?"
"No!" Peanut yelled. "She didn't do it. It was that damn? how did you know about that anyway? I don't remember letting you ever get up close and personal with the sisters."
Polly shrugged. "Hey. Whatever. But? the sisters?"
"Let it go," Peanut responded dangerously. "There are way more important things going on here besides the sis? besides my breasts."
"Of course," Polly nodded. "Francine."
"One time she told me she had a Christmas present for me in her bedroom and to just follow her and I was actually stupid enough to do it. She had a present for me but it was," Peanut shuttered. "It was unpleasant. Luckily she had her window open and I was able to jump out. Although to this day Francine thinks I fell in all my excitement."
"You fell out of a window?"
Peanut nodded. "Two stories. I had to go the hospital. Messed my knee up real good. But I escaped and that was all that's important."
"There was another time when she asked me to drive her to a 'friend's' house. The friend ended up being someone she was breaking up with. The other chick took the break up kind of hard and thought that I was the one that took Francine away. She came after me with a bat and almost smashed my sister's car into little pieces. Luckily, I was able to get away before I lost my freakin' head."
"Texas bitches real crazy are they?" Polly offered as she examined her right hand.
"Then there was another time when we went out to go see some drag queens?"
"Hold on," Polly raised her hand, "we can talk about all your misfortunes later. Currently we have to figure out how you're going to get rid of her."
"Don't you think I've tried? I've done everything I can think of trying to shake her, but she's up to something and I don't think I'm going to like it. I feel like another window's in my future."
"Have you just tried telling her to go away?"
"I can't do that," Peanut shrieked.
Peanut's body sagged. "Because, when all the world turned against me back home she was the only one that gave me support. My parents hate her. My sister hates her. My lover hates her. I'm not even sure I like her all that much, but?"
"Oh. Tough." Polly rubbed the back of her neck. "Well then how long is she staying in town for?"
"She'll be gone tomorrow. She came here for some audition or somethin'."
"Then you just have to stick out today. Then you'll go back to holidays and big family events."
"Yeah," Peanut sighed. "You're right. I can handle the night. All I have to do is stay here for another couple of hours then drop her off at her hotel."
"Stay here?" Polly asked her voice rising. "You can't stay here. I'm all for supporting you and being your number one, but quite honestly I want the lovin' tonight."
Peanut began to pout. "But I thought you loved me? I thought you'd do anything for me?"
"That's not going to work."
"Fine. I'll pay you fifty bucks and will let you borrow my Xena DVD's for a month since you're too cheap to go buy some yourself."
"You think that's going to replace lovin'?"
Peanut groaned. "Okay. I'll give you a hundred, let you borrow Xena, and will make this whole night up to you and your date however you deem fit. Do we have a deal?"
After a brief moment Polly nodded happily. "You can stay two hours. No less and no more."
"You're such a true friend," Peanut said with a false smile.
Three Hours Later
Polly was forced to stop in mid kiss when for the second time that night there was a pounding on her door. Apologizing profusely she got up and answered it. When she opened it there was a very wet Peanut holding a duffel bag in her arms. Her hair was matted to her forehead and was in complete disarray with bits of plant sticking out here and there. There was a new tear in her pant leg and she happened to be shirtless.
Polly withheld a grin, but just barely. "Bad night?"
Peanut growled and pushed her way into the apartment with an obvious limp. "Have you ever been bitten by a turtle?" She asked acidly.
Her face turning red with her valiant effort not to laugh, Polly managed to squeak out a negative response.
"Hurts it does," Peanut offered as she sat down carefully on her friend's couch next to her friend's still present guest.
Polly chose to continue her silence in fear of Peanut's reaction to anything she might say. She'd figure she'd get the story as soon as Peanut was through digging plant life out of her hair.
Peanut looked at the foliage she managed to pull free from her dark curly locks. "It was a cold pond," she said absently. "Cold and wet. Wet and cold. Should be a stuntwoman. Good I know how to fall. Then she kicked me out," she chuckled humorously, "said I had to learn? something."
"Is she okay?" Polly's date whispered uncertainly.
"Kept the turtle I did," Peanut kept on not showing any signs of hearing the question directed not to her but about her. "Chased it all around the pond. Damn thing took a piece of my ass and I wanted it back. Ungrateful."
"Maybe I should go?" Polly's date moved slowly away from the raving wet woman. "We uh? can do this another time.
Knowing nothing could salvage her night she led the woman to her door and let her out of her apartment.
Peanut never stopped her mindless ranting.
"I'm done paying! I'm done. Can't do no more payin'. I pay my debts and I've paid."
Once her date finally left, Polly turned back to her friend. "Are you happy now that you've made my potential girlfriend think I consort with crazy people and will probably never want to speak with me again?"
A huge smile broke out onto Peanut's face. "Absolutely. Serves you right for making me leave with Francine alone."
"Did Lover Girl really kick you out of your home?" Polly asked pointing at the duffel bag in Peanut's lap.
"No. She wanted a girls night with her friends and I told her I'd stay with you."
"Vengeful maybe," Peanut responded tapping her chin. "Evil? Not quite."
Polly plopped herself down next to her friend on the couch. "So what did happen with Francine?"
"She tried to jump me outside of the hotel and I fell into a fountain. A turtle really did bite me in the ass and I really did hunt it down and I'm really keeping it as a pet. I feel like we've bonded. Not just anything can touch my ass."
Peanut smiled broadly. "I know."
Polly sighed resigned now fully resigned with her fate. "Okay. So what do you want to do now, Brain?"
"Bask in my genius perhaps?"
Polly shoved her friend. "You're such a jerk."
Peanut did nothing but grin.