Part 8
Slowly I became aware of… something. A scent, a sound, I didn't really know what it was that caused me to leave the darkness behind. As if through a fog, I became aware of noises: horses neighing, people talking with each other, and someone breathing hard nearby. It was still somewhat distant to my groggy brain and a part of me thought it could be a dream, but I also felt soft ground beneath my head, and that sensation was far too real. If this wasn't a dream, the chances seemed to be good that I was still alive, or perhaps that I had lost my life and crossed over to the Otherworld.
I carefully moved my hands and feet and found that I was not chained, which puzzled me. Did that mean that I was not a prisoner or that my foes were so confident that they simply didn't secure me, sure that I didn't need to be immobilized? If that had been their reason, they were right, because whether chained or not, I wouldn't be able to cause much trouble. Every bone, nerve and muscle in my body screamed '
pain' though I had just shifted myself a few bare millimeters. Whatever the reason for my physical freedom, I felt it was wiser to allow my senses to sharpen further before making anyone aware of the fact that I wasn't unconscious anymore. But why did the ground beneath my head start moving?
Just when I had decided to play possum for a little while longer, I heard a voice calling my name. "Julia? Are you awake?" I recognized that voice and instinctively opened my eyes, looking up into the twinkling blue gaze that was staring back down at me with an expression of tenderness that left me short of breath.
"Eileen," I rasped, hardly able to believe the reality of what I was seeing.
"Yes, lass," she said with a warm smile. "It's good to have you back."
"You are alive." I had difficulty wrapping my mind around the fact that the ground under my head was actually Eileen's thigh, attached to her very much alive body. She wasn't dead or heavily chained, either.
Eileen chuckled dryly. "I am as alive as you are, lass, but it sure was a close enough call for both of us."
"We made it? We are safe?"
My brain only seemed to function in slow motion, but Eileen replied patiently, "Yes, we made it and we are safe."
We were safe. Neither Madeleine nor
sidhe draoi had been able to harm us. A dam inside me broke and I hid my face against her trouser leg. The fear, the anger, the feeling of helplessness, everything collapsed inside me, and I collapsed on top of Eileen, clutching any part of her I could reach. I sobbed and sobbed until I could no weep more, not caring about the pain every movement of my body caused. We were safe. All the while Eileen gently combed her fingers through my hair as if wanting to assure me through her touch that she was really there. When it seemed as if I didn't posses any more fluid in my body, I slowly turned my head, ignoring the ache, and looked up at her through my swollen eyes.
"I am sorry, I just…" I broke off, unable to find the words to continue.
"Hush. No need to be sorry for allowing your feelings to show," she said while wiping away some of the lingering tears on my cheeks with her thumb. "If I wasn't so damned tired, I would possibly cry as well. This whole thing was a close call today. Too close." She swallowed hard. "When I saw you go down and that bastard kicking your head…" She didn't finish the sentence, instead gazing into space.
I took a closer look at Eileen's face, taking in the bruises covering it and the blood on her shirt, hoping not all of it was her own. I lifted my hand to touch her face, but that movement was too much and pain shot through my severely abused body. "Ugh." I let my arm fall down again, clenching my teeth against a wave of nausea, and gritted, "Oh boy."
"Take some deep breaths," Eileen said, carefully massaging the tense muscles in my shoulders. "That bad, eh?"
"Yes. I honestly don't think that fighting is my thing! If this is the way heroism feels, I can do without." Another wave of nausea made me want to vomit but I refused my body its wish, panting through the roiling in my gut.
"I am sorry, lass. It is a good thing you are strong headed; that was quite a kick you received, and I had to use the rest of my magic to prevent serious brain damage. I have not enough power left to weave more healing magic." Her fingers had wandered to my head again and her soothing massage nearly made me forget about the terrible pounding in my skull. She went on, still rubbing my scalp, "You are absolutely one of the bravest and equally one of the most stupid person that I've met in my life. And as you well know, I cover some decades and have met some interesting people."
I was unsure how she meant that statement. "Thanks, I think."
She chuckled and shook her head.
A male voice nearby said, "I agree with that statement! That was stupidity and braveness in equal amounts; the perfect mixture for a young warrior, as long as the result is survival."
Moving my head slowly, I saw a grinning Carrick towering over both of us. "It was you that saved us?" I asked him.
"Only what you left for us to finish after fighting Madeleine and her warriors on your own," he said with a respectful gleam in his eyes.
What I had done sounded somewhat foolish the way he put it and I felt the need to defend myself. "But, I didn't plan on doing that… it was only… I couldn't let Eileen…" I turned to her. "I thought you were severely wounded, if not dead…" I was unable to form a coherent sentence.
Eileen stopped my rambling with a kiss on my brow. "Sweetheart, although what you did was most probably the stupidest thing I've ever witnessed… thank you."
She bowed her head and brought our lips together, the sweet caress lingering for a moment before she slowly broke our connection and whispered to me, "You saved my sorry ass. Just as you went down, Carrick and the others rode into the clearing as if the devil was after them. You sure did miss out on a mighty good fight and a very pissed ex-partner of mine." Eileen straightened up, leaning her head back against the tree behind her. She looked as fatigued as I felt.
I needed to know what had happened after Madeleine had left me in the hands of her warriors. "Did Madeleine hurt you?" I asked.
Eileen hesitated before replying, "Well, she tried. Actually, she was able to do me some harm but before she could inflict serious damage, she was distracted by you knocking down one of her elite warriors. Nice move, by the way, and a very nice weapon you acquired in the forest. Anyhow, as I said, Carrick showed up shortly after you fell."
I couldn't suppress a grin, thinking about how frustrated Madeleine must have been when her plan was thwarted. She had been in charge of the ambush; Eileen was down, I was about to get knocked senseless, and everything had looked perfect for her. I bet she had been thinking about what she could do to us once we were prisoners on her estate, and then
bang! It was a shame I had missed that part. I asked, "And what happened when the cavalry showed up?"
Eileen gave me a weary smile. "Like I said, it was a mighty good fight. They rode in as if the devil was behind them. Dechtire was able to hurt Madeleine with one of the finest spear throws I have ever seen, which granted me the opportunity to scramble out of her reach. The rest of the fight didn't take too long."
I was sure there was more to it, so I prodded, "Was anyone seriously hurt?"
The sad expression that flickered across her face told me before she answered that something bad had indeed happened. My feeling was confirmed when Carrick said, "One of Madeleine's warriors is dead, one was left behind severely wounded, and three of the
sidhe draoi paid the ultimate price by standing against us. The others fled. One of ours died as well. But if you hadn't held them off…"
"Carrick, please. Who died?" I wanted to know.
It was Eileen who replied with a catch in her voice, "Dechtire. Shortly after throwing the spear, she was killed herself."
I couldn't place a face to the name, but remembered the way I had admired the female warriors earlier today. It seemed surreal that this had been mere hours ago, and now Dechtire was dead. I wasn't sure if I would ever get used to fighting, death and bitter enemies that were after my blood. Nevertheless, all this was a part of my life now and I had made my decision to stay, which meant I would have to find a way to deal with everything, even if it seemed overwhelming right now.
Eileen touched my cheek gently and said, "Don't feel guilty, lass. Her death hurts all of us, but she died a proud warrior and that is the way she would want to be remembered."
I knew that I had to accept this way of thinking but couldn't deny that guilt was still a big part of what I felt. I pushed aside my feelings for the moment and asked Carrick, "What happened to Madeleine? Is she dead as well?"
He looked unhappy when he replied, "No. She was able to flee. That damn woman has more lives than a cat and much more luck than she deserves!"
I knew that we were lucky to have survived the day, but Madeleine's escape put a damper on my thankfulness. She wouldn't leave us alone until either she or we were dead. Eileen's voice brought me out of my heavy thoughts.
She said, "Lass, as much as I am curious about what happened to you in the forest, we need to get moving before any of those who fled feels the need to come back with reinforcements. Do you feel able to get up?"
I slowly lifted my head from her thigh, wincing as I felt as if someone was twisting a sword in my neck. Everything hurt, but luckily it seemed to be just muscle soreness rather than serious damage. I had learned to deal with pain like that the hard way in my past, but this knowledge didn't diminish the actual unpleasant experience.
"To be honest, I feel as if a wall fell on me," I muttered.
"Well, there is not so much difference between some warriors and a wall," Carrick said, holding out both hands out to help me up. Only partially successful in suppressing several groans, I finally leaned on him while Eileen got up herself. She didn't seem to be in a much better condition as her movements were stiff, far from her usual gracefulness. Her shirt was cut in more places than I remembered and drenched in an alarming amount of blood.
Eileen reached behind the tree she had been leaning against and handed me my staff. "I am really looking forward to hearing how you came into the possession of LiveWood."
I took the staff, thankful to be able to use it as a prop, and replied, "Well, our friend
sean coille was involved."
Eileen nodded. "That is good to hear. We will need him when negotiating with the
sidhe draoi." With that she turned around, looking over where the other warriors stood with their horses. One horse had a corpse draped over the saddle - I guessed it was Dechtire.
There was another body hanging over a different horse's saddle; he seemed very much dead to me as well, but I was wrong. Eileen saw my questioning look and said with a hard voice, "That is one of Madeleine's warriors. He's wounded but alive. Maybe we will be able to probe some answers out of him later."
Carrick had a grim determination on his face. It chilled me when he answered, "Aye, I look forward to helping him loosen his tongue."
I didn't know how I felt about this. Torture was not foreign to this world; that much had been made obvious when Madeleine told me in gory detail what she intended to do with me. My blood ran cold remembering her words, even though I knew that we weren't in immediate danger any more. If Madeleine knew how to use torture, I shouldn't be too surprised that Eileen did as well.
Why shouldn't she? Torture was a common practice in my old world, although nobody said so openly. I wasn't absolutely starry-eyed, being an avid reader of newspapers and magazines that covered what happened all over the globe. Whether I liked it or not, torture was a reality everywhere, only here among the
sidhe I was much closer to those practicing it. What honestly scared me was that I didn't feel upset at the thought of torturing an enemy. While my head still told me that torture was wrong, my gut told me that it would be the right and just thing to do.
There was a primal urge inside of me that was unknown. I discovered I wanted to take revenge, and that scared me. I had been on the receiving end of abuse myself over a longer period of time, and even today I felt a lot like a victim, helpless and afraid of the weirdest things. Looking back on everything I had gone through since seeing Eileen's painting for the first time, I realized that I had changed.
Some days ago, I wouldn't have been able to act as I had done today. I wasn't sure if my transformation was the main reason, or if there were more facets to it, and I was anxious about how much more change I might experience. There were so many questions running through my head. How much would being not entirely human affect me? Would I change in ways I wouldn't like, unable to stop the transformation? Or would I become more myself, previously hidden aspects of my personality coming to the fore? Only time would tell.
I glanced at Cinnia to get my mind on other things. The distraction worked as I had no idea how I was supposed to be able to ride home, since everything hurt. My chagrin must have shown on my face as Eileen said while hugging me close to her, "I am not going to enjoy the ride as well." She sighed. "Both our bodies have endured a lot and are in desperate need of some good rest and Lena's healing herbs. But still, we need to get out of the forest as fast as possible and riding is the only available option." I groaned and Eileen continued: "But it is going to be easier for you if you'll sit in front, believe me."
I didn't really believe that this would make much of a difference. "How long will it take us to get home?" I asked, already afraid of the answer.
"If nothing happens we should be able to make it within an hour or so," Eileen said. She let out a short whistle, causing Cinnia to trot over to where we stood waiting. The big horse stopped in front of me and gently lipped at my face, clearly happy to see me. The feeling was mutual but her affection was too wet to endure for long. I took a step back to get out of her reach, but to compensate I began to rub Cinnia's soft nose, unable to suppress a grin when it was obvious that she enjoyed my touch. Who would have thought… maybe the beast and I would become friends after all, and that would be a nice improvement, indeed.
When Eileen mounted, her stiffness was proof that she was not well as she was barely able to make it in the saddle on her first try. The day had surely taken its toll on both of us, and I was still not sure if we would be able to make it through a one hour ride, but there was no alternative. I allowed Carrick help me up, and tried to get as comfortable as possible, sitting side-saddle in front of Eileen and leaning against her. Even though this position was probably better than sitting behind her, it was still far from comfortable or painless. Every movement, every jolt, caused my bruised and battered body to hurt all over.
After handing me my staff, Carrick whistled for his own horse and mounted with an ease that made me envious. As soon as he was in the saddle, he gave the order to start our ride back to the manor. Eileen and I took our place in the middle of the small group, all the warriors surrounding us in a way that would make it easy to protect us if we should be attacked on the way.
It was an awful journey and I had no attention to spare for our surroundings. We didn't have time to ride slowly enough for me to adjust to Cinnia's movements. I hurt and had a hard time keeping quiet about it, since every so often a groan escaped me.
Amazingly enough, despite my severe discomfort, I must have dozed off at some point, too exhausted from the day's activities and the pain I had to endure to remain awake any longer. Oblivious to the rest of the journey, I woke up when I was being handed down into Lena's arms. We had arrived in front of the manor.
"Hello, sleepyhead," Lena said, cradling me as if I was a child and not a grown woman. She whispered some words that I had heard before from Eileen, weaving her gentle magic and causing some of my pain to go away. It was bliss.
I tried to smile at her and said, "You know, you can let me down, Lena," feeling stupid and useless for not being able to stand on my own feet. I sure would be able to walk on my own.
Monika appeared next to Lena with a blanket in her hand and would have none of that, saying, "Don't you dare to let her down. She needs to be in bed!"
So I was resigned to my fate, knowing that there was no way fighting Lena and Monika at the same time. Although I didn't want to fall asleep again, that was just what happened, my head cushioned on Lena's shoulder with the knowledge that all would be well now that we'd made it safely home.
Concluded in chapter 9