~ The Official Guide to Rescuing and
Maintaining Damsels in Distress ~
by K. Alexander
DISCLAIMER
Though the characters in this tale may physically remind you of people that you
know, they are in no way affiliated with, or based upon, the characters of Xena
and Gabrielle as used in Xena: Warrior Princess. It may shock you; nay,
disgust you to know that I have watched barely three episodes of your favourite
TV series (perhaps four years ago?) and so would not be able to draw upon those
characters even if I wanted to. Not my fault, mind you, but that of the
broadcasting authorities in my country. However, I am aware of certain physical
similarities and therefore invite you to employ your own wild imagination to
make the leap.
SEX/VIOLENCE/SOPPINESS/CRYING/HUGGING/SNIFFLING/SOBBING/BLUBBERING
WARNING
I tried my best not to, I promise. And it’s not as bad
as it could have been.
COMMENTS
You are most welcome to share them with me, as long as
you adore me madly. No, but really. Constructive criticism will be welcomed
with open arms. As will a good pair of jeans, a Triumph Bonneville (again, yes,
you’re not co-operating on this) a pair of kick-as boots and a full tank of
petrol. Find me at: kalexy@webmail.co.za
AND FINALLY
I hope this is where you envisaged this story going,
because this is where it went. Nothing to do with me, man.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Shaking her head in wonderment Crispin collapsed into one of
the plush settees in Helena’s room. “And I used to think that you were
extraordinary. My goodness, Helena, how ever on earth did you turn out such a
charming well-balanced example of the species in this place?”
“There was nothing in this world I feared more than
resembling my mother, so what you see sitting here before you is a dedicated
and committed study in disobedience.” Helena fell back onto her huge canopy bed
and stared up at the pink frills in fascination. “I don’t think they’ve changed
anything in here since I’ve left.”
“Probably not. They do live in hope.” One foot bobbed
rhythmically over the edge of the pink settee as Crispin glanced about her. The
ostentatious dress laid out neatly on the chest of drawers attracted her
(unwilling) attention persistently. “Would … is that for everyday wear?”
Glancing over the princess gave a bored shrug. “No, that
would be a wedding dress. Mother obviously sent Ivor up here with it the moment
we arrived. Well, not the exact moment. More specifically the moment when you
wilfully and errantly flaunted the failure to be an eligible man.”
“Oh.” Crispin bit the inside of her lip thoughtfully. “I do
apologise. I wholly admit to being rather unreliable when it comes to being a
male.”
“Don’t trouble yourself.” The princess waved a regal hand
around vaguely. “Just try harder next time.”
“Oh dear lord, I sincerely hope there won’t be a next time.
I know she’s your mother, Helena, but… I’ve faced gryphons that I’ve been less
frightened of. She could kill an entire cave full of bats instantly with one
look.” As an afterthought the knight shuddered, concluding with a scowl. “Did
you say Ivor brought the wedding dress?”
“Yes.”
“Helena, has your mother poisoned my wine or…?”
“No, you’re quite correct.” Rolling over onto her stomach
Helena propped up her head in her hands and shot Crispin a half-hearted grin.
“My father is terrible at remembering names. I’m not sure whether you noticed
it… “
“What? Preposterous!”
Chuckling at the knight’s theatrical outburst Helena carried
on, “… and so my mother has taken care only to hire servants named Ivor, or
alternatively servants willing to be called Ivor. Even the women are called
Ivor, so as not to confuse the matter.”
“Right. Of course.” Crispin nodded slowly. “And your name?
He remembers that.”
“He should. It’s his middle name.”
“And you gave me hell for having a man’s name?”
“Let’s not revert to old arguments when I have so many new
ones to look forward to.” Though it was said with an attempt at
light-heartedness the knight could hear the forlorn note behind it. Sitting
upright she draped her forearms over her knees and leaned forward.
“It is never too late to take you back, Helena. One word and
I will drag you out of here.”
The princess shot her a disturbingly gentle look. “When I
stepped into that tower I was no more than a child with glamorous notions of
romance, Crispin. I really, truly, believed that once my prince appeared, life
would be as it was meant to be, and I would be happy forevermore. Now I know
that there is a world beyond my own, a world which does not necessarily conform
to the perception that I had.” Closing her eyes she smiled, perhaps at an
agreeable memory, before she continued. “After that you cannot take me back and
put me in a tower, Crispin. Not when I know what exists outside it.”
When the dark woman frowned she reminded Helena of a moping
little girl. “If you marry one of those men, Helena, then you will be locked up
in your own tower as surely as if you came with me now.”
“I don’t actually have the luxury of very many great
choices, Crispin!” The sudden eruption startled them both. Taking a deep breath
the princess attempted to compose herself, sitting up and squaring her narrow
shoulders. When she looked up her green eyes met the knight’s in an unguarded
gaze and held them pleadingly. “Crispin. Take me with you.”
“I…” the knight could not tear her eyes away from the blonde
woman’s stare. She blinked rapidly, her eyebrows contracting into an expression
that seemed on the brink of anguish. In that look the princess found her
answer.
“Well.” With the fingers of a slightly trembling hand she
pushed a lock of hair away from her forehead stiffly. “I apologise for asking.
I did not want to put you in a quandary.”
“Oh, Helena, I don’t… “
“It’s all right. I can’t expect of you to be saddled up
with… “
“Don’t.” Sliding off the settee Crispin hurried to the foot
of the bed and knelt at Helena’s feet, grasping a small hand in both of hers.
“Don’t think like that, Helena.” She was shocked when the green eyes that
lifted were bright with tears. “Oh, please don’t.”
“I thought you’d started to like me there at the end but…”
It was so soft that she almost didn’t hear it. Reaching up
she gently brushed one teardrop from golden lashes. “Helena, I did. I do. Who
wouldn’t? You’re somewhat unique.”
“That’s just a polite way of saying that I’m odd and
impossible.”
“No, it’s not.” Pressing Helena’s hand lightly Crispin tried
to catch her eye. “I’m not good at polite, Helena. You know that.”
“You try.”
“Yes, I try. But not very hard.” Smiling at the slight
crinkle of the princess’s nose the knight sighed. “Helena, you are odd. And
impossible. And infuriating. And such a great deal of fun to be with.”
Helena clenched Crispin’s hands in hers tightly. “Then take
me with you, Crispin? Please?”
“I … can’t.”
“But why not?”
“My life isn’t like yours.”
“I know what your life is like! I’ve been there, do you
remember?” Helena tried to catch Crispin’s gaze, but the blue eyes skittered
away from hers tensely. “I’ve been there, and nothing bad happened to me.”
“Nothing bad happened to you because I was there to catch
you!” Suddenly the bright blue eyes were focused on her, and their intensity
almost burned. “What if I turn my back for a moment and something horrible
happens? What then, Helena? The world is a perilous place, and you are not
equipped for it! I cannot take responsibility for you, Helena, I simply cannot,
because if something bad happened to you I would never be able to
forgive myself.”
The vehemence of her words left a sad silence in the air.
“I’m so sorry.” It was a defeated whisper.
“No.” With a shake of her head Helena rubbed the overwrought
hands under hers gently. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what I was asking of
you.” Leaning forward she tucked a loose strand of black hair behind the
knight’s ear. “I understand, Crispin. I do.”
The dark woman looked up at her with a melancholy gaze.
“Anywhere you want to go, Helena, I’ll take you there myself. Right now.”
Slowly shaking her head Helena smiled sweetly. “No, you’re
right, Crispin. I’m not equipped for the world, and the world’s not equipped
for me. One day, maybe. Hey,” she scolded, “don’t frown like that. You’ll wake
up looking like that one morning.”
“And I’ll have deserved it, too.” Drawing her hands from the
other woman’s the knight rose and dusted off her knees industriously. “What did
that Ivor do with my sword and saddlebags, do you know?”
It was a clumsy change of direction, but Helena let it go,
sensing the unease in Crispin’s demeanour. “It will probably be in the room
next door, Crispin.” Are you… are you thinking of leaving?” She said it as
smoothly and casually as she could.
Shrugging her broad shoulders the knight bit her lip
thoughtfully. “I suppose I am a coward, but I’d rather leave under cover of
darkness. I don’t want to go through any more ceremonial feasts. It’ll be …
easier this way.”
“But if you leave tonight my father won’t have the chance to
give you your reward. And you came all this way.”
Crispin waved the comment away. “I don’t need it.” She
seemed on the verge of saying something else before she consciously
straightened her posture and rolled her shoulders once. “Helena, it’s time for
me to go.”
“I know.” Before the knight could say anything more the
blonde dashed forward and wrapped her arms around her waist. Pressing her face
into the knight’s shoulder she squeezed tightly - “I’ll miss you, knight.” -
smiling against the smooth fabric of the shirt as she felt strong arms wrap
around her shoulders and hold her securely for the briefest moment. Then
Crispin loosened her grip and stepped back, her eyes soft.
“I have to go.”
“I know.”
She had hoped, if she were honest, for one of those moments
she’d always imagined when reading her favourite stories, those moments when
the hero stated an intention to go, and then never could. And hurled him -or
her- self back into the other person’s arms declaring that they would never ever
leave them. If it was one of those moments then Crispin must have misunderstood
the script, for with a small smile and a little nod of her dark head she turned
around.
And walked out of the door.