~ A Simple Matter Of Trust ~
by P Wilson
The characters in this story are the property of MCA/Universal and Ren Pics. This story is not for profit and is not intended to infringe anyone's copyright. There is very very light subtext, if this offends you, please do not read. I would also like to thank Xena Torres of the PNW Online Xena fan club for her invaluable assistance, patience and encouragement. Thanks, also, to my XWP HCNB friends who
encouraged me to make this story available online.
Feel free to e-mail me at: pwilson1@neo.rr.com.
From: The Xena Scrolls
Timeline : late 3rd season early 4th - sometime after BitterSuite
Part 2
Three horsemen exited the woods at a slow gallop, eyes intent upon the ground. They entered the clearing and stopped. After a brief discussion, one rode off, the other two dismounted.
"Da...arnit," Xan quipped, looking at Gabrielle, who bit back a grin.
After another quick look, Xan nodded to Nathan, who drew his sword and moved off to his right. Xan drew her own sword and moved left, motioning for Gabrielle to stay where she was, which, to her relief, she did. Xan turned back, pulling a knife from her boot, offering it to Gabrielle, who shook her head no. Xan gave her a pointed look and offered it again. Gabrielle returned the look, along with another emphatic headshake. Rolling her eyes dramatically, looking around for a moment, Xan managed to locate a sturdy tree branch about the same size as Gabrielle's staff. Giving her what she hoped was a stern look, Xan held it out to her. This she took, rolling her upper lip into a slight snarl in response to Xan's look. Xan smothered a laugh. She began to move away, then hesitated. "Gabrielle," keeping her voice low.
Gabrielle looked over at her.
"Nathan doesn't know that I'm a woman."
"So I gathered," Gabrielle whispered back.
Smiling, Xan moved off.
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Xan pulled back slightly as she located the man below her. The man looked up, not seeing her, but perhaps sensing her presence. He stared a moment, then moved on. Xan released the breath she had been holding and quietly worked her way ahead of him. She found a spot where she thought she could intercept him without first alerting him to her presence, and waited. He passed by her; she was on a slight rise about four feet above him. She bit down on her lip as a few pieces of dirt, loosened by days of steady rain, tumbled down the rise. The man began to turn.
"Damn," Xan muttered. Forced into moving faster and sooner than she wanted, she lost her footing on mud that was now also covered by a light sheen of frost. Going from bad to worse, the whole piece of ground she was standing on began to give way beneath her. Dropping to one knee, she attempted to get some semblance of control as she rode the cascade of earth and muck down to meet him.
He grunted in surprise when her sword plunged deep within his chest, as did she, when his sword slid into her shoulder, entering below her collarbone, just above her heart. They both stared at each other for a moment, neither of them quite sure what had happened. Looking down at her, the man's eyes slowly filled with resignation and sadness. Closing his eyes, he uttered a long, low keening sound and took a step back. The sound he made was so awful it nearly undid Xan. She let go of her sword. He held onto his and it made a wet, squishy, sucking sound as it exited Xan's shoulder, turning her stomach. He fell slowly, almost gracefully, away from her.
"Damn! Damn, triple-damn! Of all the stupid..." cursing through clenched teeth, she stood up, lost her balance and sat down hard. Feeling her life seeping out of her in a warm river of blood, she clamped a hand over the wound and concentrated on not passing out. She took a few deep breaths and attempted to get to her feet again. Quickly abandoning that idea, she decided instead to just sit back and wait for Gabrielle to find her. She struggled out of the vest she was wearing, muttering a string of curses the entire time, and pressed it tightly against her shoulder. Scootching over to a tree, she leaned back and closed her eyes. She opened them a few moments later when she heard a familiar voice. Riding on a ghostly zephyr, something touched her gently and breathed her name in a wisp of frost. "Rachel?" Xan whispered hoarsely in return. Nothing answered but the wind. Shaking her head slightly, she closed her eyes again and waited.
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Gabrielle grew impatient with the waiting and doing nothing. She lifted her head above the wall for a quick look. She saw no sign of Xan or Nathan, but did locate the other man. He was standing at the bottom of the incline, below their hidden sanctuary, studying the ground. She was sure there were telltale signs of their little foray down the hillside, so he probably knew that they were here.
As he looked up toward the ruins, squinting in the oncoming darkness, she made her way quietly toward him. She wondered briefly where Nathan was, since he went in this direction. She reached the man just as he started up the incline. Predictably, he slipped, going down on hands and knees, losing his sword in the greedy muck. Gabrielle gripped the makeshift staff tightly in her right hand, using the bandaged left for balance. She swung just as he turned his head toward her. It connected solidly and he went down, almost without a sound, and stayed down. Gabrielle, on the other hand, yelped in pain as the force of the blow and its aftershock awakened every broken bone in her hand.
"By the gods!" she gasped, gritting her teeth. Hearing a noise behind her, she froze. She grasped the stick, bracing it against her side, and spun around.
"Whoa!" Nathan yelled, holding up his hands.
"Zeus, Nathan!" Gabrielle hissed. "Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone like that?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak. Habit, I suppose."
"Where's Xan?" she asked, looking past him.
"I thought he was with you."
She looked into his eyes and he looked past her to the unconscious man behind her.
"Is he dead?" he asked flatly.
"No. Have you seen the other one?"
Nathan shook his head.
"Find something to tie him up with, okay? I'm going to look for the other one and Xan."
"Gabrielle, maybe I should- "
"Just do it, Nathan. I can't manage it with this," she raised the bandaged hand slightly. "Come as soon as you can."
"All right. I won't be long. It's getting dark," he called out to her retreating back. "Be careful."
Gabrielle was moving quickly and with far less caution than she probably should have been, an increasing sense of urgency driving her on. Fog and gloom rolled in with the dusk. Tendrils of fog swirled and danced around her like gossamer ghosts. Tripping over an exposed tree root, she almost fell on top of the dead man. A small yelp of surprise escaped her. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she looked closely at his face, knees going weak with relief when she determined that it was not Xan. Xan's sword, however, was still in place, ironically marking the man's passing like a silent silver sentinel. Gruesomely mesmerized by the sight for a few moments, Gabrielle finally shook her head and moved on.
"Xan?" she called, unease gnawing at her insides like little teeth. She was beginning to get a bit panicky when a cold hand reached out and grabbed her ankle. Letting loose another shriek of shock, she backed away, raising the substitute staff in defense.
"'Bout time you found me, Gabrielle, my butt is damn near frozen right off."
"Xan!" she didn't know whether to hit her, or kiss her. "Gods, you scared me half to death!"
"Yeah, well, you scream like a girl."
"I am a g- " Gabrielle stopped, suddenly wondering why Xan was sitting out here in the first place. Dropping the staff and bending down, she saw the dark flow of blood seeping from between Xan's fingers. Her stomach made a sickening lurch. "You're hurt," she said gently.
"Yeah. Stupidest damn thing you ever saw. I fell right on the guy's sword, but if you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it."
"Shut up, Xan. How bad is it? Let me see."
Xan opened her mouth, then closed it, trying to sort out which comment she should respond to. Gabrielle lifted the vest, then carefully tore the shirt away from the wound.
"Dammitall! Gabrielle!" Xan exclaimed.
"What?!" Gabrielle jumped, startled.
"You tore my shirt! That's my favorite shirt. Crap."
Gabrielle stared at her, astounded. "Xan, did anyone ever tell you that you are absolutely insane?"
"Not lately."
"Well, you are. Can you get up, if I help you?"
"Uh-uh."
"Okay, I'll go find Nathan. We've got to get you inside."
Xan grabbed her wrist as she began to rise, and Gabrielle saw real fear in her eyes. "Gabrielle, you need to hurry."
Gabrielle felt her throat close up as tears prickled at the backs of her eyes. "I know," she said softly, covering Xan with her coat. "I'll hurry."
"And besides," Xan said, voice growing weaker. "I'm afraid of the dark..."
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Rachel watched in wary fascination as the insidious darkness that roamed the depths of Xena's soul rose to the surface. A seething, cold rage filled Xena's eyes.
"Rome...?" Xena's voice was hushed in stunned disbelief. She locked her eyes onto Rachel's, grasping her wrist tightly. "You mean Caesar?!." She spit out his name with frightening fury, tightening her grip, as Rachel tried to pull away from her.
"I...I think so, yes," Rachel replied, struggling to free her wrist from Xena's grasp. "He, among others. Xena, you're hurting me."
Xena seemed puzzled by the look of fearful discomfort in Rachel's eyes. She glanced down at her hand encircling Rachel's wrist, and released her immediately. "I'm sorry," she said softly, unsettled by her loss of control.
Neither of them spoke for a moment.
"You still have such so much rage inside you, Xena."
Xena met her eyes, startled. Her mind raced back, so many years ago, a lifetime ago, her beloved Lao Ma whispering those same words to her.
"You must stop willing, stop desiring, stop hating..."
Xena pushed the words and the woman from her thoughts, focusing on Rachel once more. "Why, Rachel? What could Caesar possibly hope to gain by hurting you, or your child?"
"Xena, I can't explain now, please you- "
"I'm going to wait until your next contraction, Rachel. Then I'm going to try and turn her, if I can't, I'll take her."
Rachel sighed heavily, clearly not pleased.
"Tell me, Rachel," Xena insisted firmly.
"There is a prophecy," Rachel began resignedly. "A prophecy which, presumably, foretells Caesar's true destiny. A destiny far different from the one he visualizes. This is a vision of absolute destruction, to be brought about by someone very close to him." Rachel looked away from her.
"I don't understand," Xena said. "What has this to do with you?"
"The prophecy provides three clues to the identity of the person, or persons, who will bring Caesar to ruin," Rachel continued. "It will be someone he once trusted, someone who once trusted him, or someone of his own blood. Most think that the combination of these things will be the catalyst for his ultimate demise." Rachel stared into Xena's eyes; Xena said nothing, lost in thought, focused on memories of the past.
"I know you are my mother, Xena," Rachel informed her quietly. "And I know your history with Caesar."
Xena's eyes met Rachel's for a moment. She blinked, shaking her head a little and closed her eyes. Rachel took her hand.
"Xena?"
"I thought as much," Xena allowed, meeting her eyes once more. "But..." her eyes narrowed as her mind raced through several possibilities, settling, finally, on one. "And, what, Rachel, you think Caesar is your father? And this child..."
"Is he?"
Xena opened her mouth, then clamped it shut once more, breaking her gaze from Rachel's.
"Xena, I..." Rachel began, then cried out as a spasm of pain raced through her.
Xena shook off Rachel's hand and reached down toward the baby.
"Wait, not yet," Rachel managed, biting down on her lip. "It wasn't a contraction." She took a few deep breaths, regaining her composure.
"Xena, It doesn't matter now...what I think. But, it is believed that Caesar.. thinks it is so."
"Rachel," Xena stared intently into her eyes. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe Caesar is just using you, to get to me?"
"Yes." it was Rachel's turn to lower her eyes. "Yes, I had thought of that."
Xena studied her for a moment, then took her hand once more. "There is more, isn't there? You haven't told me everything."
Rachel raised her eyes again and Xena was again unsettled by the look of torment within their depths.
"I have seen such terrible visions, Xena. I am so afraid for us all. I felt that you were the only one who could help me, but now I feel such guilt about sending for you. I may have set something in motion that ...I don't know if I have done the right thing."
Seeing Rachel afraid and unsure filled Xena with a feeling of icy dread.
"What have you seen, Rachel?"
Rachel didn't answer for a moment; she looked away and then back down at her swollen abdomen. "This child," she said quietly. "This child is truly blessed, Xena. You must believe that. I have seen glimpses of her future. She is a child of peace and light. She will set in motion a force that will forever change the world. She will be an unstoppable force for good, even more so than her grandmother."
Rachel stopped speaking at the look on Xena's face. "What?"
"Grandmother?" Xena replied hoarsely, barely able to say the word.
"Well, you are, you know, or will be soon," Rachel said with a wry grin. "Honestly, Xena, after all I have told you, that is what visibly upsets you?"
They smiled at each other. Rachel's smile radiant and warm, her face lighting up like sunlight emerging from the shadows. A slight gap between Rachel's two front teeth gave Xena a glimpse of the child still present within the woman. The beautiful child who grew up without her. Xena reached out to touch Rachel's face, her smile fading.
"I often wonder," Rachel offered quietly, "when circumstance leaves us no alternative, except to leave someone we deeply love, who suffers the most? The one leaving, or the one left behind? Truly, their pain is equal, is it not?"
Xena's response to this nearly broke Rachel's heart. For who, other than Xena, could convey so much in the shedding of one simple, eloquent tear. Rachel reached over and gently wiped it away.
"Please, don't despair, Mother. My love for you never changed, it grew only stronger, as did my hope that you would return to us."
"I wish..." Xena whispered, "I wish we had time..."
"Time," Rachel sighed with a small half smile. "According to Xan, she can be quite the bitch. She is either flying by, or forever standing still."
Her smile faded away replaced by a look of pain as she gripped Xena's hand tightly. "We have no more time, Xena. I can't help; I can't bear this child in the normal way. You must take her. You can see that, now, can't you?"
Xena looked fearfully at the bright red pool of blood soaking through the blankets.
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Fortunately, Gabrielle found Nathan before she had to waste a lot of time looking for him. They constructed a crude litter and managed to get Xan back inside the ruins. Xan opened her eyes as Gabrielle covered her with blankets.
"Next time," Xan suggested, "we need to pick a hiding place that has an easier access, don't you think?"
Gabrielle looked down at her. "Hey," she replied with a small smile, "we only dropped you twice."
Xan laughed a little, then winced. Gabrielle bent down and removed the blood soaked vest. Xan winced again as Gabrielle tore her shirt for the second time. She started to say something but was silenced by Gabrielle's warning look. "We have to get this bleeding stopped," Gabrielle told her as she cleaned the wound.
Xan's eyes grew large as Gabrielle picked up a crude wooden needle and some type of fine twine that she didn't recognize. "Oh, hey, I don't like needles."
"We have to stop the- "
"I know, I know. Can't you just bandage it?"
"No. The only other thing would be to cauterize it. Would you rather- "
"No, no..." Xan relented, taking a deep breath. "Go ahead."
Gabrielle bent closer.
"Ow ow ow!"
"Xan! I haven't even started yet, don't be such a baby!"
"I was practicing."
"Well, stop it, before I practice by sewing your lips together."
Xan made a face at her as she began. "Ow! Shoot, Gabrielle, now that did hurt."
Gabrielle sighed heavily and tried to concentrate.
"Hey, are you right handed, or left handed?" Xan bent her head down, trying to see which hand Gabrielle was using.
"You don't want to know. Get your head out of my way," Gabrielle grumped, getting more irritated by the moment.
"Well, no wonder it hurts, you'll probably leave a big scar, too, and- "
"It's done."
"What?"
"I said, it's done.
"Oh, well...well, hey, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Maybe not for you. By the gods, Xan, you are the most annoying- "
"Me? What did I do?" Xan gave her an innocent look and Gabrielle bit the inside of her lip, determined to keep a straight face. She looked up as Nathan entered and motioned her over. Xan took her hand as she got to her feet; Gabrielle gave her a questioning look.
"Thanks, Gabrielle," she said softly, gazing into her eyes. "Seriously."
Gabrielle smiled and squeezed her hand. "I'll be right back to bandage that up, I made a poultice to put on it."
"Something that will sting like Tartarus, no doubt."
"No doubt." Gabrielle gave her an evil grin, which made Xan laugh, which hurt. As Gabrielle moved away, Xan coughed and wiped blood from her lips onto a piece of torn shirt, which she placed beneath the blankets.
Nathan stooped down beside Gabrielle as she gathered up bandages. "How bad is he?" keeping his voice low.
"S...he lost a lot of blood. He's worse than he's letting on, I think."
"Gabrielle, we need to get out of here."
She looked at him as though he'd lost his senses.
"When those two men don't report back," Nathan explained, "the one who rode off is going to know something happened, he will bring more men back here."
"Where is the other one, the one who is still here?"
"He's no longer a problem."
The look in his eyes discouraged any further discussion on the matter. Gabrielle decided she would rather not know anyway. "Xan can't be moved."
"Then we'll have to leave him."
"No! We .."
"Gabrielle, if we stay here, they will find us, they will kill us all, or worse."
Gabrielle shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to think. "All right," she stated, opening her eyes. "This is what we are going to do. They will be looking for just one person, they don't know we are here. So when they get here- "
"You're crazy!" Nathan said hotly, realizing where she was going. "You want me to wait around until they come back, and then try and outrun them?"
"Yes."
"Well, I won't do it. It's suicide."
"Nathan, you know this area. You could lose them. You- "
"It won't work," he said stubbornly. "I won't- "
"All right! All right, then I'll do it," Gabrielle declared firmly.
This time, Nathan shook his head.
"Nathan, we can't move Xan, and we can't leave him here without help. If you leave now, they will most likely search these ruins until they find us. It's the only way. I'll go, if you promise not to leave him."
Nathan stared at her.
"You are crazy, you know. You and Xan must be related."
"You'll do it then, you'll stay with him?"
He looked down at the ground and then back up at her. "All right, I'll go get the horses, have the best one ready to go. Then I'll keep watch."
Gabrielle nodded, then returned to what she was doing. Nathan stood, began to say something else, then just shook his head and left. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Gabrielle napped fitfully; subconscious attuned to Xan's slightest move. Wondering and worrying, also, about Xena and Rachel, she finally fell asleep, only to be awakened by Nathan. He came in once to check on Xan and again later to get another blanket.
"Demeter can't decide if she wants rain or snow tonight," he said, gratefully accepting a cup of warm broth from Gabrielle.
"Woman's prerogative," Gabrielle answered groggily. "To change her mind." She explained, in answer to Nathan's puzzled look.
"Ah," he replied, smiling a little. "Go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you."
"It's all right. I'm glad you're keeping watch."
He stared at her for a moment, then picked up the blanket and the cup of broth and moved toward the passage that would take him outside.
"Gabrielle..." he paused a moment.
"Hmmm?"
"I...uh...thanks for the broth."
"Welcome." She gave him a sleepy smile.
He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but then just nodded and walked away. Gabrielle lay down near Xan once more and drifted off. She dreamt. Images of Xena and their journeys, of Poteidaia, her family. In the midst of these, it suddenly occurred to her why the names of Xan's friends sounded so familiar. David. The sensitive young poet who composed the beautiful psalms, David, the giant killer. The Israelites and their firm believe in their One God. And these thoughts, in turn, led to more disturbing images of Dahak and Hope and fire...
She jerked awake, sat straight up and spent a frightening moment trying to figure out where she was. "By the gods," she mumbled hoarsely, as she got her bearings once more. She rubbed a hand vigorously over her face, trying to shake off the unsettling after effects of the dream. Xan mumbled something in her sleep and Gabrielle got up to check on her. As she laid a hand across Xan's forehead, she opened her eyes.
"Rachel?"
"No, Xan, its Gabrielle." She wrung out a cool cloth to lay on Xan's forehead, troubled by how feverish she was. Xan stared uncomprehendingly at her for a moment. "Ah, Gabrielle," she whispered finally. "You look...you remind me so much of Rachel."
Gabrielle looked into her eyes. "I'm not Rachel, Xan."
"And I'm not Xena," Xan stated.
Both of them seemed a little taken aback at this conversation, neither of them sure what prompted it, and where, if anywhere, it was headed.
"Or, then again, maybe I am," Xan added after a moment.
Gabrielle's mystified look drew a half smile from her.
"I mean, why else would I feel as though I have known you for years?" Xan explained. "Why else would I trust you so much? Da..uh..darn, I don't even trust myself half the time."
"You are Xena," Gabrielle said with a slight grin.
Xan laughed, which provoked a bout of coughing. Gabrielle helped her sit up until it passed. Xan wiped her mouth and Gabrielle caught a glimpse of the blood stained cloth before Xan stuck it beneath the blanket. "Xan..."
"Not a good sign, I know, but I've survived worse. Really, I'll be fine."
Gabrielle nodded, trying to hide her concern, and busied herself checking Xan's dressing. Xan stared into her troubled, blue- green eyes for a moment, then took her hand. "Gabrielle..."
"Hmmm?" she looked up, meeting Xan's eyes.
"I want you...would you tell Xena something for me, when you see her?"
"You can tell her yourself, when we see her," Gabrielle's voice was firm.
"I know. But, just in case we get separated for a while, or something."
Gabrielle drew in a breath, exhaled slowly, and nodded. "All right," she agreed softly.
"Tell her I was wrong."
"You!?" Gabrielle placed a hand over her heart in mock surprise.
Xan grinned. "I know, it's hard to believe, but yeah."
Xan's eyes shifted away from her, smile fading. "A long time ago, I convinced myself that it was not possible for Xena to ever truly care for anyone. Rachel tried to persuade me that Xena left because she cared so much for us, but I never really believed her."
Gabrielle opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, waiting for Xan to continue.
"Rachel also tried to convince me that my refusal to believe was just a defense, to make Xena's leaving easier to accept. But, deep down, I was sure that Xena was just too hard, too damaged, too untrusting to let herself..." Xan looked into Gabrielle's eyes once more. "Anyway, I thought that she deserved to be alone. That, because she was incapable of loving, of giving herself, she did not deserve to have anyone." Xan lifted a hand to touch Gabrielle's face. "But, I was wrong. She loves you, Gabrielle; I can see it in her eyes, when she looks at you. She may be able to hide that side of herself where anyone else was concerned, but not with you. " Xan took her hand. "You know this, don't you, you love her, too?
Gabrielle was silent for a moment. "I think," Gabrielle said quietly, looking away, "I think I have always..." She stopped speaking and looked into Xan's eyes once more. "I think you should rest now, Xan."
"It's hard sometimes, isn't it?" Xan said softly, beginning to drift away.
Gabrielle looked questioningly at her.
"Right and wrong. Good and evil. What we think we should feel versus what we truly feel. Everything is not always black and white, is it?"
"No, Xan, most of the time, it isn't."
"But, in your case, Gabrielle, you have an advantage."
"Oh?
Xan closed her eyes and did not answer, slipping further away until Gabrielle snugged the blankets up under her chin.
"Your heart..." Xan's voice was as soft as a sigh.
Gabrielle leaned closer, struggling to hear.
"Follow ...your heart, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle smiled sadly as she slowly leaned back. She sat quietly for a long while, thinking, then brushed a hand across her eyes, surprised to find them awash with tears.
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Gabrielle managed to get a small amount of blessedly dreamless, undisturbed sleep before something awakened her once more. Xan groaned softly, clearly in pain, struggling to push the blankets away from her.
Leaning over her, Gabrielle held them firmly in place. "Leave them be, Xan," she insisted. "It will help break the fever."
Xan opened her eyes, squinting up at her in the semi darkness. "Rachel. I knew you would come, I need- " Xan reached out and grasped Gabrielle's hand. "I need...to tell you...God, my chest, could you...get that Centaur off of me...so I can breathe?" An impish grin spread across Xan's face.
Gabrielle felt a wave of fear wash over her as Xan's words summoned a flash of deja vu. "My chest feels... so he- heavy...."
"Rachel?" Xan whispered urgently.
Gabrielle hesitated only a moment before answering. "Yes. You're going to be all right, Xan."
Xan nodded slightly, visibly relaxing. "I know, I'm not afraid...well, maybe just a little. Rachel, would you..."
"What?"
"Would you hold me? Just for a while?"
Struggling briefly with tears and a multitude of emotions, Gabrielle leaned down and kissed Xan lightly on the lips. Xan held on to her as she began to draw away and returned the kiss with an urgent, tender desperation. Gabrielle lay down beside her and slipped her arms around her, pulling her close. Xan sighed contentedly and closed her eyes. "I love you, Rachel."
"And I love you, Xan," Gabrielle assured her, closing her eyes, wondering, not for the first time, why love always had to hurt so terribly much. Lulled by the warmth and the sound of their breathing, she drifted into a sound sleep.
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"Gabrielle!"
Gabrielle jumped, startled awake by the voice and the hand on her shoulder, shaking her awake. She lifted her head from Xan's shoulder and found Nathan staring down at her. "It's time," his quiet voice held a waver of fear mixed with adrenaline charged excitement. "They're coming."
Carefully disentangling herself from Xan, she got to her feet and tried to get her wits about her.
"How is he?" Nathan asked, with a nod toward Xandra.
Gabrielle laid her hand on Xan's forehead. "I think the fever broke, but he's still having a hard time breathing."
"He's strong, I've seen him survive worse, really."
Gabrielle smiled a little, grateful for the comforting words.
"If I can't talk you out of this, you'd better hurry, they are not far off."
Gabrielle nodded and picked up her staff.
"Look, Gabrielle, I've got an idea, I'll explain on the way out. Here, wear this."
He held out a heavy hooded cloak, which covered her from head to foot when she put it on. "Zeus," he said with gruff laugh. "You look like an executioner."
"Well, I can't see very well, but at least it's warm."
"Mmm," Nathan replied. "You should take this, too."
Gabrielle shook her head at the object Nathan was holding out to her. "No."
"All right then, suit yourself. Are you ready?"
Gabrielle leaned over Xan, pulling the blankets up, touching her face for a moment. Xan mumbled something unintelligible. "Be well, Xan," she whispered gently, then turned to follow Nathan. "Nathan, could I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"When you and Xan were talking, you mentioned David-"
Nathan stopped abruptly and turned to face her. "That wasn't my fault!"
Gabrielle drew back a little in the face of his anger. "I wasn't suggesting that it was."
He stared at her for a moment, then lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry," he apologized, voice softening. "What is you want to know?"
"I met a man named David once, he was with a group of people fighting the Philistines, I just wondered-"
"Not the same man," he informed her gruffly, turning away. "We'd better hurry."
Gabrielle stared after him for a moment, then followed.
They made their way down the passage and out into the chilly, overcast morning. Gabrielle took a grateful deep breath of the clean, moist air. Nathan turned and held out his hand, helping her down the slippery rock. He stood still for a moment, staring down at her, breath vaporizing in the chill air.
"You said you had an idea?" Gabrielle asked.
Nathan nodded. "I'm thinking, if Xan is able to travel tomorrow or the next day, we should just meet you at the springs, join up with Xena and Rachel. If...when you lose Zagnan's scouts, it doesn't make much sense to come back here."
Gabrielle gave him an odd look before answering. "I don't think Xan is going to be able to travel that soon, Nathan."
He shrugged. "Well, maybe you're right. Look, why don't you tell me exactly where they are, if Xan can't travel and he recovers enough for me to leave him for a while, I could at least go tell them what's happened."
"Let's let Xan decide," she suggested. "When he's better."
As she began to move past him, he reached forward and grabbed her arm.
"Tell me where they are, Gabrielle."
Pulling away from him, she backed away, raising the staff. He took a step toward her. "Don't!" she warned him.
He lifted his head slightly and she sensed something behind her, a slight whisper of cloth, a minute disturbance of air. Turning, she was greeted with an evil smile and a sword pointed at her throat by the man she assumed Nathan had killed. She looked quickly back to Nathan, his betrayal earning him a look of seething anger and disgust.
"I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I- "
"And I owe you one, you little bitch!"
"Don't- " Nathan began.
She instinctively pulled back, but not far enough to escape the savage blow to her temple.
"That wasn't necessary!" Nathan said angrily.
"Yeah, yeah," the man sneered. "Why should you care? Pick her up, we've wasted enough time here already. Zagnan's waiting."
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Gabrielle didn't remember much of the trip, coming fully back to consciousness only after they sat her down roughly in a chair and stepped back. She clenched her teeth against the sharp stab of pain in her head and looked around. The room was cold and filled with impenetrable shadows. She started slightly, as someone leaned toward her. He slid silently from the darkness into the dim light, like a snake from beneath a rock. Everything about him was dark, from his clothing to the ebony pools of his eyes. He reminded her somewhat of Ares, but even Ares had a flicker of humanity in his eyes. If the eyes were windows to the soul, then this man had none, for looking into them was like staring into an abyss.
He gave her a predatory smile, teeth gleaming, like a panther ready to pounce. His eyes gained no warmth from the smile, if anything, they grew colder. Gabrielle suppressed a shiver.
"What is your name?" His voice was velvety soft, an unsettling contradiction to his appearance.
"My name is Gabrielle, I..."
He held up a hand to silence her, candlelight winking off of a large band of gold adorning his index finger. "My name is Zagnan. Of course, you have probably already surmised as much. You have information I require."
"I don't- "
The slap was hard, fast and vicious, catching her so totally unaware, she did not even feel it until she heard the sharp crack. The sting brought tears to her eyes and she glared angrily at him. He looked amused, which angered her further.
"Don't deny knowing where they are, Gabrielle. I know that you know, and you will tell me. Why not save yourself a lot of discomfort and me a lot of time, and tell me now?"
She said nothing. He hit her hard enough this time to knock her off of the chair, again striking so quickly she didn't see it coming. Someone lifted her up and dumped her back into the chair. The room seemed to tilt at an odd angle and she lowered her head as a feeling uncomfortably reminiscent of seasickness washed over her. A dull ache began to assert itself in her jaw, adding itself to the already merciless, painful throbbing inside her head.
"Look at me."
She raised her eyes to his, heart racing, a trickle of fear just beginning to nudge aside her anger. He reached toward her and she steeled herself, refusing to back away from him. He stared at her a moment, eyes narrowing.
"I can see that this is getting us nowhere."
He sighed heavily. "I must be getting old. Lately, I have begun to feel a distinct lack of patience needed for an interrogation such as this."
He leaned back, deep in thought for a moment, fingers drumming on the table. Gabrielle became slightly mesmerized by the candlelight reflecting off of the gold band on his finger. She started a bit when he stood up and moved behind her.
"Perhaps the example of your execution will serve to loosen other tongues. It is a shame, though. I am not fond of wasting such beauty. And you are quite lovely, Gabrielle."
She closed her eyes as he leaned into her, his mouth close to her ear, his hands sliding over her shoulders, resting lightly on her breasts.
"Tell me now, have you any last requests, golden child?" he whispered seductively. "Anything that I could ...personally do to make up for all you will never see," hands lightly caressing, "never feel, never experience?"
Gabrielle leaned back, shuddering slightly under his caress. "You...your hands..." she whispered.
"Yes?" he urged, leaning closer still.
"You can get them off of me."
There was dead silence in the room. He leaned away from her,
his hands tightening painfully for a brief moment before sliding back up to rest on her shoulders once more. She turned her head and met his eyes. Something moved behind his, something almost human. The beginnings of what may have emerged as a genuine smile began to etch itself across his face. But it quickly disappeared, as if even the effort itself was just too alien to maintain. He began to laugh. A coarse, humorless sound, which, combined with the absence of a smile and the burning malice in his eyes, was truly horrifying. He sat down again.
"Ah, Gabrielle, had I but a hundred such as you, I believe I could rule the world." He continued to stare at her for a few moments. She watched, transfixed, as the fire smoldered in his eyes and went out, leaving them frighteningly cold and empty. She flinched a little as he reached across the table and touched her mouth. Pulling his hand back, he looked thoughtfully at the blood on his fingertips. Surprised, Gabrielle raised a hand to her mouth, wincing as she touched her split lip. His eyes shifted, drawn from the glistening blood, to the dressing on her hand. She attempted to lower it out of sight, but he quickly reached over and engulfed it within his own.
"You've hurt yourself," he observed quietly, eyes catching fire once more.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Zagnan hurt you, didn't he, Rachel?" Xena asked. "That's why Xan thought you were- "
Rachel nodded. She was growing visibly weaker, life, strength, will, slipping quietly away from her. Hurt inside..." she managed.
Xena leaned closer.
"I've been bleeding...I can't.."
"Sssh, Rachel, don't..."
"Give me your hand, Xena."
Xena did so. Rachel grasped it tightly and closed her eyes, concentrating. Xena felt a strange tingling sensation in her hand. Her eyes widened slightly as it quickly spread. An eerie warmth flowed through her; it hummed and sang, alive with heat and energy.
"So much more to tell you, I'm sorry, Xena, I- "
Rachel's eyes opened suddenly. She stared at a point beyond Xena, then focused her eyes on their hands. Her face grew ashen at the quick succession of images; a ragged bandage, a bright band of gold, a bloody sword. Tearing her eyes away, looking up, she forced down the scream climbing up the back of her throat as two black, malevolent eyes slowly dissolved into shimmering blue. "My God," she cried out softly. "Hurry Xena, you must hurry."
Unnerved by the look of raw terror in Rachel's eyes, Xena nodded slightly, took a deep breath, and picked up the blade.
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"Xander. Xander wake up!"
Xan reluctantly pulled herself up from the darkness and opened her eyes. Nathan was bending over her, peering into her face. She lifted a hand that felt weighted with lead and pushed him back.
"Get out of my face, Nathan," her voice was harsh, abraded by pain, and dry as desert sand.
"Come on, buddy," Nathan encouraged with a slight grin. "You've been sleeping long enough. Here drink some water, you look like you need it."
Xan sat part way up, grimacing at the pain in her shoulder, and took the ladle, choking a bit on the water. Taking a deep breath, she looked around. "Nathan, where's Gabrielle?"
A strange expression settled over Nathan's face. "She's, uh, she..."
"What?"
"She's not here."
"I can see that. Where is she?"
"Now, before you go flying off the handle, Xander, I want you to hear me out."
Xan started to get a very cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I'm listening, Nathan, where is she?"
"We made a plan, she's carrying out her part of it."
"What kind of plan?" Xan asked, eyes narrowing.
"She, uhm, she took the horse, see, and she's leading, uh, leaving a trail to throw off Zagnan's men."
"She's what!!" Xan reached up to grab Nathan's shirt but he backed out of her reach.
"It's a good plan. She'll lead them off, we'll go meet Xena and Rachel and she'll join up with us there."
Xan could barely control her rising temper. She fought it down, along with the urge to throttle Nathan. Something was terribly wrong here and she needed more information from him before he bolted. "And what happens if they catch her?"
"Well...uh, well, then see, if that happens, which it probably won't, mind you, she will lead them to where we meet Xena, but we'll be ready for them. She'll lead them right into a trap."
"And Gabrielle agreed to this?!" Xan's voice rose an incredulous notch, thinking she had never heard anything so unbelievably asinine in her entire life.
"Well, yeah, most of it."
"Which "most of it", Nathan?"
He looked down at his hands and Xan lunged up and grabbed onto his shirt, yanking him back down to face her.
"She agreed to lead them away from here, that much I believe. She did it because you wouldn't do it, isn't that right, Nathan?"
"No! I..."
"Is she in on the part where she is supposed to tell Zagnan where they are?"
"Well, not exactly, but- "
"Not exactly! Not exactly, Nathan?! You damn fool, Zagnan will kill her, or worse!"
Nathan pushed against Xan's shoulder and pulled away as Xan hissed in pain, losing her grip on his shirt.
"You're wrong, Xander," Nathan insisted, sticking out his lower lip. "It's a good plan. Zagnan won't kill her if he thinks she can lead him to Xena and Rachel. When she tells him, he will take her along, to make sure she's not lying and we will- what are you laughing at?"
"You, Nathan. I'm laughing at you, you sorry piece of dung."
Anger flared in Nathan's eyes. Drawing his sword, he bent over her once more. Xan ignored it, fixing her eyes on his.
"Let me tell you something, Nathan, see if you can grasp it. Gabrielle won't tell them anything, even if she knew, she wouldn't tell them. Because unlike you, you traitorous piece of scum, she is brave and she is loyal and she wouldn't sell out her friends. Ever!"
"I don't know what you are talking about! We made a plan, it was her idea, I...what do you mean, even if she knew?"
"Ah, it sunk in, did it now, Nathan, through that thick skull of yours? She doesn't know where they are."
It took a moment for that to register and while Nathan was processing it, Xan tried to maneuver herself closer to her sword.
"I don't believe you." Nathan told her, moving closer.
Xan snorted. "I don't give a rat's ass what you believe, Nathan."
Nathan's face went through a series of contortions as he tried to think what to do. Xan moved closer to her sword, stopping when Nathan bent over her once more.
"Well, then, Xander, Mr. big hero smart-mouth, you'd better tell me where they are, so I can go get Xena and get to Gabrielle before Zagnan does kill her."
"And tell me, Nathan, how do you know where Zagnan is, how do you know he even has Gabrielle?"
"I...well, I don't, but..."
"When did you turn, Nathan? Xan hissed. "Did you trade your stinking life for Michael and David's or did you just sell out Gabrielle and I?"
Xan winced as Nathan suddenly let loose a howl of rage and slammed the sword down inches from her head. Xan reached under the pile of bedding and came up with...nothing.
"It's not there," Nathan said quietly. "I moved it. The knife, too."
Xan looked up at him; Nathan's eyes were filled with the frantic resolve of a cornered rat. He smiled grimly. "Actually, I offered your sword to Gabrielle, she wouldn't take it, not that it would have done her much good anyway."
"You set her up. You set us both up. It was all a lie, the men following you, everything."
"Yes," Nathan agreed shortly. "Zagnan. He's a very smart man, you know, very persuasive. Tell me where they are, Xander."
Xan laughed softly. "Or what, Nathan? You'll kill me? That's what you stayed behind to do, isn't it? Well, what are you waiting for? Do it!"
"I will, Xander, so help me- "
"Well, you'd better do a thorough job of it, because I swear to you, Nathan, I will find you. I will follow you to hell and back, and I will cut out your heart for what you've done."
Nathan laughed, with a lot more conviction than he actually felt. "Kind of hard to do, Xan, if you're dead, don't you think?"
Xan stared hard into his eyes and Nathan took an involuntary step back from the fierce, silvery heat of them.
"That won't matter, Nathan," voice frighteningly cold, dangerously restrained. "That won't matter at all."
He stared at her a moment and true to his nature found himself wanting to run, to turn and run from it all. His hands began to tremble and the sword wavered in his grasp. "You...you can't hurt me," he muttered. "You are already dying, Xander, you can't hurt me." His words gave him courage and he stepped forward once more, pushing the sword against Xan's wound. A small trickle of blood appeared, startlingly red against the white dressing. He pushed harder and Xan clenched her teeth, her face betraying nothing.
"You will tell me, Xander. I am going to kill you, of course, but I can make it quick and relatively painless, or I can hurt you for a long, long time. Your choice, Xan."
Xan sighed softly and looked up. She fixed her gaze on a tiny speck of light shinning through some small crevice in the fallen temple above them; it sparkled like a diamond in the darkness surrounding it. "Go to hell, Nathan," she whispered and closed her eyes.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Zagnan stared into Gabrielle's eyes and she winced as he tightened his grip on her hand. "Did you cut yourself, or is it broken?" he inquired, shifting his gaze to the frayed dressing, squeezing a little tighter.
She did not answer, clamping her teeth so tightly together against the rising pain, her jaw began to ache.
"No matter," he said softly, looking into her eyes once more. " It
is obvious that it causes you... some discomfort."
He leaned forward, pulling her hand hard against his chest, bringing a sharp gasp of pain from her. "Where are they, Gabrielle? You do know, don't you?"
And she did, wishing now that she didn't. Understanding, also, why Xena hadn't wanted to tell her, knowing that she wouldn't be able to lie convincingly enough to this man to save herself if she fell into his hands. And worst of all, she was deathly afraid that he might actually force her to tell him. He tightened his grip and the pain drove her to her feet. She began to tremble, tears filling her eyes, nausea rising, as the bones begin to shift and grate against each other. He grasped her jaw in his other hand, forcing her eyes to his.
"The pain, it is exquisite, is it not? A burning, living thing. You want to escape it, but I'm not going to let you, Gabrielle, not even for a moment." He saw the fear there now, as well as the pain. She tried to close her eyes and her mind against it, but he brought her back with another jolt of pain.
"Tell me!" he hissed, knowing he had her now, it was just a matter of time. "Come on, Gabrielle. What is Xena to you, after all? This type of loyalty means nothing to her. You are nothing to her. She would not suffer so for you, not the Xena I know." His eyes narrowed as he saw a spark of something in hers. A very slight lifting of the corners of her mouth, a look, and he knew immediately that he had said too much. It was a look of fierce defiance, filled with secrets that he would never fathom, never even begin to understand. And he knew, in that instant, that pain and terror and he, himself, had lost their hold on her. With a roar of frustration he slammed her hand down on the table, causing even the guards to jump in surprise. The pain was horrific, unbearable and she slid gratefully down as the soft, welcoming darkness rose up to meet her.
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The wind whispered, revealing not a hint of what was to follow. The animals sensed it first and quickly began to seek shelter. The sun was swallowed by an eerily colored sky, bathing the earth in sea green light. Trees swayed nervously in the fitful wind, first in one direction and then another, seeming, almost to be listening. Leaves began to dance and twist, turning silvery underbellies to the beguiling breeze. The wind gusted, sounding annoyed. It grew suddenly angry and howled like a enraged beast as it unleashed a torrential rain across the land. Thunder raised its voice against the wind. Low and grumbling at first, then building and climbing to a crescendo of roaring fury and crackling light. Not to be outdone, the wind intensified, forcing trees almost horizontal to the ground, savagely uprooting those refusing to bend to its power. Rain hammered furiously, wave upon wave, driven by the wind. Creeks and riverbeds overflowed, obliterating all things delicate, ravaging and laying low those remaining. The rain began to slow, promising reprieve. Thunder reverberated in the distance. Plants and trees and all things living took a deep, shuddering breath and cautiously raised their heads. Thunder immediately roared its displeasure. Jagged streaks of lightning tore across the heavens, ripping them open, spewing small, icy blue spheres of hail. They careened and bounced off of every surface, nesting in clusters of intricate crystalline formations before melting into oblivion. The wind died, rain poured and then poured harder still, driving everything into submission under its onslaught.
As quickly as it began, it ended. A last, faint echo of thunder could be heard in the distance, then silence. The sun knifed its way through, piercing and scattering clouds. A steaming mist rose from the ground. Brilliant rays of sunlight slanting through the moisture transformed each drop into a tiny prism, creating miniature rainbows of color. A bird sang, tentative at first, growing more confident with each note. Most life went on, some did not, fading, as other life, rejuvenated by the cleansing storm, began anew.
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Xena swiped absently at the sweat trickling down into her eyes, leaving a splash of bright red across her forehead. Eyes and mind focused on the baby, she tried to ignore the alarming amount of blood flowing over her hands. Finally, she lifted the child clear. The baby drew in a gulp of air, sputtered once and let out an indignant wail. Xena smiled at the wonder of her. She cut the umbilical cord as soon as it stopped pulsing and delivered the afterbirth, shaking her head as the troublesome bleeding continued unabated. Gently cradling the baby, she carefully cleaned blood and fluids from eyes, mouth and nose. Wrapping her quickly in a soft, clean blanket, she turned back to Rachel. She laid the child down close beside her mother and began the arduous task of sewing, trying to stanch the bleeding as best she could. She looked up a little while later to see Rachel smiling down at the baby in her arms. Xena's heart sank as she gazed at Rachel, she looked so small, exhausted, pale as death. Rachel shifted her gaze to meet Xena's eyes and held out her hand. Xena took it and moved closer, pulling the blankets up around Rachel and her child.
"She has your eyes, Xena," Rachel whispered reverently, her voice ragged.
Xena looked down into solemn blue eyes, which were studying her, seemingly, with great concentration. "They may change, Rachel, lots of babies have blue eyes when they are born."
"No. They won't change. They will look just like yours, always."
Xena was silent for a moment, wondering, but not questioning. "She's so beautiful, Rachel, she looks just like you did when..." she stopped speaking and Rachel gently squeezed her hand.
"Xena...I.."
Xena looked into her eyes once more.
"There is so much I want... need to tell you...I'm so tired."
"You rest now, Rachel, we can talk later."
"No...I... give me your hands."
Xena held out her hands, a little reluctantly this time. Rachel smiled understandingly before folding them firmly within her own.
"Close your eyes, Xena."
"Rachel..."
"Please."
She did so, they sat silently. Xena began to get fidgety and was thinking seriously about standing up when the first image suddenly appeared. Her mouth opened slightly and she began to pull away, but Rachel held on firmly.
"Wait," Rachel said softly.
Xena waited for what felt like a very long time. She grew very drowsy and a little dizzy. Another image, a face; Gabrielle. Then Xan. Xena smiled slightly, then frowned. A golden band, a rough wooden table. A woman dressed in black, a young man holding a small silver ball. None of it made any sense. Now it was dark, and she was finding it hard to breathe, very hard. Another face, shimmering in the distance, one she felt she knew very well, she reached out and it vanished. A long tunnel with many passages, she hesitated, not knowing which one to take. Another face, a woman made of light. Xena reached out, then drew back quickly as the light burned her fingers. Then, a blue, icy coldness. Snow; blindingly white. Roman soldiers and crosses. And finally, a feeling of absolute helplessness and loss. All of it culminating in feeling of hopelessness so devastating, it almost caused her to cry out in despair.
Xena's eyes flew open as she drew in a sharp, jarring breath. She looked around fearfully, shaken and disoriented. She looked down at her trembling hands for a moment, and then at Rachel and her child. "Rachel," she whispered fearfully, leaning over her.
Rachel opened her eyes. "Did you...see?" Rachel wondered aloud. Struggling now, for every breath, her voice was barely a whisper, fading away with each word she spoke.
"Yes. But, I don't understand."
"What...did you... I'll try to..." she stopped speaking abruptly and looked around.
"Rachel?"
"It's so ...dark. I hate... the dark. God, I'm so..."
Xena took her hands as her breathing slowed even more. "Rachel. Rachel hold on. Come on, I know you can, you're strong, so very strong."
Rachel turned her eyes to Xena's; Rachel's were startlingly bright in her pale, bruised face. "I love you...so much, mother."
"Then stay with me."
"I'll always be with you. Always, I promise. Take care of..." closing her eyes for a moment, Rachel pressed her lips to the baby's forehead. Opening her eyes, she lifted them to Xena's once more. "Mother, please don't cry. Please."
"Don't go, Rachel. Stay with me."
Squeezing Xena's hand, Rachel's gaze slowly shifted to a point beyond her. She smiled, releasing Xena's hand, and reached out. Xena glanced over her shoulder, sensing something, but seeing nothing. Xena turned back as the light began to fade from Rachel's eyes. Rachel whispered something that she could not hear.
"What? "
Rachel looked at her briefly. "Xandra?" she whispered. "I love you, I'm so sorry."
An angry wind rose, sweeping swiftly over the hills and down into the valley. Bullying its way deep into crevices, softly shrieking like something alive, it rushed on, searching. Finally, pushing its way into the cavern, it paused, wrapping them in sullen coldness before dying with a soft wail of protest. The baby began to cry. Xena bowed her head.
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Nathan emerged from the ruins and blinked, bowing his head in the bright sunlight. Somehow, he expected it to be dark, at least as dark as his soul felt. Thunder rumbled off in the distance and he looked up.
The sun burned into his eyes. That's what was causing them to tear up so badly, he told himself. Stupid, looking directly into the sun like that. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes and was startled to see it come away covered in blood. He looked at his hands and they, too, were awash with it. Looking down, he discovered that his clothes were soaked with it.
"By the gods!" He muttered, wiping his hands down the front of his coat. It didn't help, in fact, it made them worse. The sword slid from his hand and bounced down the incline, clanging sharply in the silence of the crisp afternoon. He began a slow turn, tearing off his coat, pulling his shirt open. His chest was covered with it, too. It oozed downward, a warm, sticky stream down the front of his pants. "Not mine!" a strangled utterance. "It's not mine, not mine...get it off, get it off!" He began to spin, hands sluicing blood and slinging it everywhere, but still it came. He kept spinning, a low moan escaped him, escalating into an unearthly howl that sent birds to wing and froze everything else in their tracks. Finally, dizzily exhausted and sobbing, he dropped to his knees, face buried in his hands. He rocked back and forth for a time, hugging himself, until he slowly regained control. "It's all right it's all right .. I'm all right...I..." he opened his eyes and looked down. The blood was gone, except for a small smear of it on the back of his hand. He quickly wiped it away, shuddering at the stain it left on his pants. He tried to slow his breathing, gulping in great lungfuls of air. After a while, he was almost calm again, even laughing, albeit a little shakily, at his little tirade.
"Damn you, Xander," he hissed. A cold gust of wind brought his eyes up to the entrance of the ruins. For a moment, he was sure there was someone standing there, watching him. Which was not possible, of course, since he...
He stood up quickly, losing his balance and stumbling a bit.
Gathering his courage, he walked over to the dark passageway and peered in. Nothing. "Of course there's nothing, you damn fool," he berated himself.
"Damnfool," the cave whispered back to him.
He leaned back, startled, until he rationalized that it was just an echo, carried by the wind. Still, staring again deep within the thick darkness, he gasped a little as he saw something shining back at him. "All right! All right, that's it," he declared, growing angry with himself and his obviously over-active imagination. Looking wildly around and up, he spotted a loose spill of rocks above the passage. Laboriously making his way above them, he sat down and started kicking at them. They held firm and he grew angrier with their resistance. "It's your own fault, Xan! ugh!" He grumbled, kicking harder. "I never wanted to hurt you. Ugh, ugh! I never wanted to hurt anyone. But we all have to do what we have to do to survive, you know? UGH UGH UGH, DAMMIT!" He stopped for a moment, breathing heavily, lowering his head into his hands and finding, to his dismay, that he was crying again. A slight touch to his shoulder made him jump and he slipped halfway down the rockslide. Craning his neck around, he looked back up, seeing nothing. Geeze, Nathan, get a grip, he ordered himself, it was just a muscle spasm, that's all. He sat for a moment, rubbing his shoulder. "You can't hurt me, Xander! Do you hear me!" he suddenly yelled aloud, surprising himself. Leaning back against the warm rock, he began to laugh. "But, I hurt you, didn't I. I... why couldn't you just TELL ME, DAMN YOU!"
A faint rumble beneath him answered his question.
"What the hell..."
The rocks shifted, subtly at first, then they quickly gathered momentum and he found himself in a wild slide amidst a cascade of rock. He landed hard, face smashing into the ground, a miniature avalanche of rocks and dirt raining down on him. Covering his head with his arms, he held his breath and waited. It stopped as quickly as it began and he cautiously raised his head, wincing at the pain of a multitude of cuts and bruises over most of his body. He stood up, relieved to find himself in one piece and with nothing apparently broken. He looked up at the passageway, which was now completely covered by rocks. He stared at it for a long while, then shook his head and turned away. "Nice try, Xander, you son of a bitch. Nice try, but you missed me. Ha ha." He made his way slowly down the incline. Made bold, once more, by his escape, defiant in the face of peril, he began to smile, began to feel invincible, untouchable. Something tripped him and sent him face down again in the mud. He scrambled to his feet, looking fearfully back up the incline. Gabrielle's staff, wedged among the rocks, she must have dropped it when...
Taking a long, shaky breath, no longer so sure of his immortality, Nathan limped down the hillside toward Zagnan's camp.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Pure evil traveled the night, oozing through the velvety darkness. Always present, always searching for a conduit to the light.
It preyed upon the innocent, the weak and injured souls. Relentlessly haunting them, turning their dreams to nightmares, leaving them alone, afraid, and praying for the dawn.
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"Gabrielle."
The voice pulled her up from the depths of another fever-induced dream. Opening her eyes, she squinted into the darkness, wondering if she was truly awake. She had spent so much time in the darkness, she wondered, fleetingly, if the sun still really existed out there, somewhere. A tall, dark form moved beside her.
"Xena?"
The form was silent. Gabrielle closed her eyes, refusing to get her hopes up, thinking that she was most likely only dreaming again.
"Just once, Gabrielle..."
Opening her eyes once more, she struggled to identify the muffled voice. She tried to sit up, but found the effort caused her way too much discomfort and sapped what precious little energy she had left. "What?" she asked, lying back.
"Why couldn't you do what I told you to do, Gabrielle, just once?"
It took a moment for that to sink in, when it did, she thought, surely, she must have misunderstood. "I don't understand. Is that you, Xena?
"Why didn't you stay at the ruins, like I told you?"
Gabrielle stared, saying nothing. She was hurt, then angry. "It is you, then," she stated, struggling to sit up again. "I couldn't," she said defensively. "Xan was- "
"Xan is dead."
The abrupt cruelty and absolute finality of the words hit her hard. She suspected as much, but still clung to the small hope that maybe, somehow, Xan had survived Nathan's treachery. "Oh...oh, no..."
Gabrielle closed her eyes. She had tried to prepare herself for this possibility, but it hurt more than she ever imagined. Tears overwhelmed, drowning strength and hope, flooding her heart and soul with grief.
"I'm going to deal with Zagnan. I'll send someone back for you."
The coldness and unthinkable implications of those words opened her eyes once more. "You'll send someone back for me?"
Silence.
"What are you saying? Xena, look at me!"
"I'm not coming back, Gabrielle, I can't, not any more."
She turned, but Gabrielle still could not see her face clearly.
"You're not Xena. Xena wouldn't- "
"I can't do it any more!"
The anger, the anguish in that voice, silenced her, words dying on her lips. A hand reached out to her then drew back.
"Please understand, Gabrielle. You, of all people, you must understand. I can't be responsible any more. I can't watch those that I love be hurt any more. I can't watch them die." She turned away, moving quickly into the darkness.
"Xena, wait!"
"Don't. Please, Gabrielle. One word, one word and I'll turn around and if I turn around, I'll want to stay. I'm asking you, please, if I mean anything at all to you, just let me go."
Gabrielle was silent, biting down so hard on her lip, she drew blood. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, there was nothing there but the darkness. "It wasn't real," tears stung her eyes as an aching emptiness seeped inexorably into her heart. "It was a dream. It was just a dream."
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Darkness fell quickly this particular night. The sun, in a now-you-see-me-now-you-don't motion, ducked below the horizon like a gopher down a hole. Thunder growled off in the distance. Nathan, who had scarcely lifted his head during his trudging journey down this rutted road, blinked and looked up as the light faded. He had come to a crossroads. Straight ahead lay Corinth, to his left, Zagnan and to his right, Athens. He looked longingly to his right, toward the anonymity of Athens, but he knew that Zagnan would find him, sooner or later. He hoped that Gabrielle had given Zagnan the information he desired and yet he feared it, knowing what it would have cost her.
"Dammit," he muttered, then winced as the word conjured up images of Xander. Moving to the side of the road, he sat down, leaned back against a tree, and closed his eyes. Gods, he was tired. And thirsty and hungry, though his stomach rebelled at the thought of food. He heard thunder again, closer this time. He started a small fire, figuring the oncoming rain would probably douse it soon if he fell asleep. Exhaustion claimed him, finally, head lolling forward, he slipped into an uneasy slumber. His dreams were disturbing and he awakened a short time later unrested and uneasy and not alone. Lightning flashed above him and he opened his eyes. Keeping his head down, he felt something snuffling around his foot. Resisting the urge to yank it away, he lifted only his eyes with the next flash of light. They widened in shock at the size of the animal at his feet. Now he did yank his feet back in a panic, head cracking painfully against the tree in back of him. The animal, too, started and retreated a step. It was so black Nathan could barely make it out against the darkness, but he had no trouble at all seeing its glittering white teeth. Dog, he thought, really big dog, or a wolf. Pushing back against the tree, he quickly got his feet under him and stood up, reaching for his sword.
"I really wouldn't do that, if I were you."
The voice from the darkness was pleasant, matter of fact, rather than threatening, a woman's voice. She stepped from the darkness as if she were part of it. He squinted at her in the meager firelight. For a moment he thought it was Gabrielle, for she was covered, head to toe, by a dark, hooded cloak. But she was much taller than Gabrielle, so much so that he had to look up at her.
"She won't hurt you," she assured him, laying a hand on the dog's massive head. "Unless you give her reason to."
Nathan dropped his hand to his side.
"Who are you?" he asked, embarrassed by the tremor he heard in his voice.
As he spoke, three more dogs appeared at the woman's side and sat down, obeying a small hand command from their mistress. They gazed up at him with shinning black eyes; hungrily, he thought with no small discomfort. Their eyes seemed to hold the firelight, rather than reflect it.
"You have reached a crossroads," she told him, ignoring his question. "And you were wondering which way to go, is this not so?"
He looked around him, wondering if she was speaking of his life, or his current physical location, deciding it really didn't matter, since the question applied to both. "Yes...that's true, I suppose," answer riding on a heavy sigh. He lifted a hand to rub his eyes and quickly lowered it as all four dogs instantly regained their feet.
"You must excuse my girls," the woman said by way of apology. "They are very protective of me, you see?"
"Uh-huh," he answered, striving to stand as still as humanly possible.
"I can help you, Nathan."
He peered intently at her, trying to see her face inside the shadowed hood. "How do you know my name?"
She waved a dismissive hand at the question, or, at least, that was what the motion of the voluminous sleeve enveloping the hand suggested. "You are wondering whether or not to return to Zagnan, since you do not have the information he requires."
He began, again, to ask how she knew this, but sensed he would receive no answer in return. He nodded wearily instead.
"But, you have given him what he needs to find Xena, and the child."
He looked at her again, interest sparking in his eyes. "And that would be?"
She moved nearer to him and he could barely discern her eyes deep within the shadowy hood. Like the dogs, her eyes seemed to burn with a light of their own. She smiled and he recoiled a bit, having no trouble at all seeing the startling whiteness of her teeth.
"You have provided him with the one thing she loves most in this world and, therefore, the one thing that makes her vulnerable. And I can provide the means for taking full advantage of that vulnerability."
He stared at her, and suddenly had the discomfiting feeling that he was being slowly swallowed by the darkness surrounding her. "Gabrielle," he whispered.
"Yessss!" she replied eagerly. "Gabrielle. Xena will come for her, she will bring the child."
"But, Rachel- "
"Is no longer a concern."
Nathan continued to stare at her, thinking hard, then shook his head.
"Even if she comes, how will we- "
"I have the means to stop her, permanently. It will be given to you."
Nathan drew back, shaking his head once more, trying to think clearly.
"Why?" he asked, forcing his eyes away from her. "Why me? What will I owe in return? Who are you and what do you want from me?"
She closed the distance between them and laid a hand on his arm, eyes eerily bright within the hood, chilling him to the bone. "Why, I want only that which you have already lost, dear boy. I want your soul. I collect them, you see."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The torturous, throbbing pain of the mangled flesh and bone that was once her hand let her know that she was awake and, most likely, still among the living. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and looked over at it. Resembling more a claw, now, than a human hand, it lay like some otherworldly object, connected to her only by a bright band of pain. She stared at it for a long time, trying to will the pain away, but found no relief at all. It was some time before she realized that she was not alone. Or at least she thought she was not alone. She had become lost, somewhere between landscape and dreamscape, and was never quite sure of which realm she was in. At least there was some light this time. A soft, hazy, half-light of sorts. She started slightly, as a hand briefly touched her hair and moved on to lie across her forehead. The touch was comforting, cool against her fever, yet pleasantly warm at the same time.
"Gabrielle."
The voice was also comforting, familiar somehow. A face came into view, but all she could really see were the eyes. She felt a great wave of hope surge through her, for they were very familiar indeed.
"Xena," she whispered, voice hoarse, raspy from disuse.
"No, Gabrielle, not Xena. I am, however," the woman hastened to add, at the look of hopelessness that filled Gabrielle's eyes, "very much a part of her."
Gabrielle studied her for a moment. Aside from the brilliance of her emerald eyes and the burnished glow of her auburn hair, she seemed ethereal, ghostly in the pale half-light. "Are you alive?" Gabrielle asked.
"Don't I look alive?"
"No."
The woman looked startled for a moment, then laughed softly.
"Sorry," Gabrielle apologized, embarrassed by her bluntness.
"No, no. That's all right. I did ask, after all. "
Something about the woman's crooked smile and the lift of her eyebrow did something strange to Gabrielle's heart. It took a huge effort for her to quell a sudden rush of tears. "Who- "
The woman placed a finger against Gabrielle's lips. "I don't have much time, but I can help you, a little. And I... " the woman's hand moved to the side of Gabrielle's face, her eyes now shimmering with tears in the uncertain light. "I wanted to see you. I'm sorry they hurt you so."
Gabrielle felt another peculiar tug at her heart at the sight of the woman's tears. She lifted a hand up to comfort her. The wrong hand, it turned out, and the pain forced a sharp gasp of pure agony from her.
"By the gods!" she cursed through clenched teeth. Gabrielle stiffened as the woman gently took her hand.
"Trust me," she said softly, looking into Gabrielle's eyes. The woman's eyes were mesmerizing, deep and green as the sea.
Gabrielle took a deep breath and tried to relax. Moving slightly behind her, she placed Gabrielle's arm straight out by her side. Gabrielle looked away from the grotesquely frozen fingers clawing toward the heavens.
"Lie still," the woman commanded gently.
Gabrielle nodded and closed her eyes. For a while there was silence. She began to think she was dreaming again when she felt a very slight touch to her wrist. It remained there for a moment, warm and delicate, then moved downward. Feather light fingertips traced a gentle path. From her wrist, down her arm, hesitating, tracing minute circles at the bend of her elbow. Moving on to softly, but firmly, massage her shoulder and neck and back again. It was unbelievingly calming, sensual, almost sexual, and Gabrielle lost herself in its magic. Eventually, the touch moved upward to the palm of her hand, tiny circles, gently caressing, never ceasing. Amazingly, she began to feel her fingers go slack, twisted nerves and tendons loosening under the insistent persuasion of that touch. The woman began to massage each of her fingers and the muted stab of pain Gabrielle experienced each time slowly began to dissipate.
"It's all right," the quiet voice assured her, close to her ear; and it was.
She opened her eyes and looked down at her hand. Her mouth opened in a small "o" of surprise. Her fingers looked almost normal now, though the constant ache would remain with her for a long time to come. She watched, fascinated, as the woman's hand covered her own. Palm to palm, fingertip to fingertip, pressing firmly, until she felt their pulses, their heartbeats become one. Exhausted and shaking, she looked again into the woman's eyes, tried to speak, and found she could not. The woman lifted Gabrielle's hand and placed a soft kiss on her palm. She laid it gently down over Gabrielle's heart who quickly covered it with her other hand. The woman removed her heavy cloak and covered her with it, but Gabrielle still could not seem to stop shaking, nor could she find her voice.
"Rest now, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle made one final attempt to speak and failing that, she did what the woman asked and closed her eyes. Sleep came quickly, pulling her swiftly down. She could still hear the woman's voice and she battled the darkness for a few moments more with her.
"You will journey far, Gabrielle, but what you seek is very near." Gabrielle felt a gentle kiss against her brow.
"Take care of my mother, Gabrielle."
And with that and the little riddle floating around in her consciousness, she surrendered herself to the dark, praying that she would not wake up to find that it had all been just a dream.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The cold woke her, miserable and shivering beneath the cloak, which was strange, because when she woke for a few fleeting moments earlier, she was on fire with fever. She wasn't sure which was worse. Of course, she could be dreaming, she was never sure anymore. Pulling her hand from beneath the cloak, she stared at it, wiggling her fingers a little. They ached, but at least they were whole and they worked. She heard some small, scuttling sounds around her and something else. Voices. She closed her eyes as they grew nearer.
"Hey, look at that," came an excited male voice. "Watch this."
She heard the sound of something moving through the air and a sharp "chink" of metal hitting the rock wall beside her. Something heavy bounced off her shoulder, stinging sharply, before falling to the ground.
"Hey! You idiot! Kill that girl, throwing knives at rats, and Zagnan will have your heart for dinner."
"Hah. She's going to die anyway. Look at her. If the fever, or the cold don't kill her, the rats will."
"Yeah, Nathan, I think it's your heart he's going to make a meal of."
Gabrielle's heart leapt at the mention of his name; it was all she could do to keep her eyes closed.
"Yeah, Nathan, your big plan was pretty much a dud. The girl won't talk. You couldn't even make Xander give it up, how long did it take for him to die?"
"Shut up!' Nathan snarled. "Just, shut up. When Zagnan sees what I have, when he knows what she means to Xena, he'll be kissing my ass."
"I sincerely doubt that, my boy," Zagnan's voice rolled across the room like muted thunder. "Because when I finish with you, your ass will be planted so far up your throat, you can kiss it yourself."
The other two men howled with laughter, even Gabrielle had to work hard to suppress a smile. Nathan leapt to his feet, spilling the contents of a burlap sack across the floor. Zagnan looked curiously at it.
"Well, well, what have we here? Could it be a crossbow? What do you plan to do, Nathan, shoot Xena with a poison arrow while she attempts to rescue her friend?"
Nathan looked up at him, surprised. Gabrielle opened her eyes a slit.
"Yes. I mean, no, not exactly. You know about her?" A nod toward Gabrielle.
"That she is Xena's traveling companion? It wasn't all that hard to figure out, Nathan. But, until we know where Xena is, until Xena knows where Gabrielle is, it will be rather hard to use this," Zagnan nudged the bag with his foot. "Don't you agree?"
"I...uhm, I- "
"Speak up, boy! Did you, by any chance, use that worthless head of yours and leave Xander alive enough to tell Xena where to find us?"
Nathan said nothing and Gabrielle again fought to hold back her tears, swallowing with difficulty past the lump in her throat.
"By the gods, you are totally useless!" Zagnan hissed, drawing a knife from a sheath at his side.
Nathan's eyes widened in terror as he retreated from Zagnan, the two men behind him grabbed him and pushed him forward. Falling to his knees in front of the bag, he began frantically digging through it. Zagnan took a step closer and Nathan thrust a small, leather drawstring pouch up at him.
"Wait!" he cried. "Wait, please. It's all been arranged. She's coming; she'll bring the child. And this," he said, shaking the bag, "will kill her."
Zagnan looked at him as though he had lost his mind, which Gabrielle sincerely hoped he had. Nathan looked up at him.
"Look inside. Look!" he pleaded.
Zagnan sheathed his knife and pulled the pouch open.
"Be careful," Nathan warned. "Don't spill it."
Zagnan stared down at him. "If this is some kind of trick, boy, I will feed you to the dogs a bloody piece at a time."
"It's not. I swear it!"
Zagnan held out his hand and cautiously poured the contents of the pouch onto it. A coarse, black, odd smelling powder slid from the bag, followed by four tiny, shinning metal balls, one of which dropped to the ground. Nathan picked it up and got to his feet. The two men moved closer for a better look and Gabrielle struggled to see around them without letting them know she was awake.
"What is it?" Zagnan asked, looking into Nathan's eyes.
Nathan reached down and picked up the crossbow.
"You can't kill Xena with a crossbow," one of the men said derisively. "I've seen her catch arrows right out of the air."
"It isn't a crossbow, is it?" Zagnan said wonderingly, his eyes fixed on the weapon.
"No. It's not."
The men separated to get a better view and Gabrielle could see it, too. It looked like a crossbow, but instead of an arrow, it had a slim, smooth tube of metal where the arrow should lie. It was open at the far end and closed at the breech end except for a small opening at the top. It was a bit longer than a crossbow and the wood was rounded at the back.
"Where did you get it?"
"I, uhm, I would rather tell you later. In private," he added glancing at the others.
Zagnan studied him for a moment and seemed to reach some sort of decision as Nathan stared calmly back at him. "What does it do?" Zagnan's eyes were suddenly alight with anticipation.
"I'll show you, but I can only show you once. This is all there is, we can't get any more."
Zagnan nodded and poured the black powder and shiny metal balls back into the pouch. Nathan took the pouch from him and poured a small amount of the powder into the metal tube. He then removed one of the metal balls and dropped it in also.
"The metal ball will be dipped in poison, just to be sure," Nathan stated, glancing over at Zagnan. Taking a round, thin strip of metal from the bag on the floor, he inserted it into the tube, tamping down the whole concoction toward the breech end of the tube. He then pulled a torch from the wall, handed it to one of the men, along with the thin strip of metal. They all watched, mesmerized by his actions. "Hold the metal to the flame," he instructed.
The man looked at Zagnan, who nodded. When Nathan was satisfied, he set the weapon down and looked around. Spotting a bale of straw in the corner, he dragged it over in front of the big oak door and stood it on end. "Give me your coat, Olean," he ordered one of the men.
The man gave him a dirty look.
"Do it!" Zagnan hissed, losing patience in his underlying excitement.
The man stuck out his lower lip for a moment, but grudgingly took off his coat and threw it at Nathan. "Why don't you use your own soddy coat," he muttered.
Nathan draped the coat over the bale of straw then went back and picked up the weapon. He placed the rounded wooden end under his arm, pointed it toward the bale of straw and held out his hand for the red-hot strip of metal. The man handed it to him.
"Stand back a little." Nathan said, they did.
Nathan took a deep breath and held it, then he inserted the hot metal strip inside the tiny hole in the tube. Nothing happened for a moment and Zagnan took a step forward. There was an almost simultaneous, incredibly bright flash of light and a muted "pop!". The weapon jumped in Nathan's hands startling everyone in the room. They all stared in silent awe at the little puff of smoke pouring from the end of the metal tube, leaving a smell of rotten eggs in the air.
"By the gods," Gabrielle whispered aloud, eyes wide with surprise.
Zagnan touched Nathan's shoulder and he jumped like a scalded cat.
"What happened? What did it do?"
Nathan licked his lips and nodded toward the bale of straw. Zagnan and the men moved toward it. Zagnan bent down and inspected the coat, seeing nothing. Olean peered over his shoulder.
"Hey," he said, bending closer. He reached out and stuck his finger through a tiny hole in his coat. "Look at that," he groused, looking accusingly at Nathan. "You've put a hole in my coat with that thing."
Zagnan's eyes grew wide. He pulled the coat off the straw and looked in vain for another hole.
"The door," Nathan said quietly.
Zagnan turned to look at him.
"Look in the door."
Zagnan pushed the bale of straw away and studied the door. His mouth dropped open as he spotted the small splintered hole in the huge oak door.
"Holy Zeus on Mount Olympus," one of the men whispered in awe.
Nathan glanced over at Gabrielle, whose eyes were now wide with fear.
"Xena can't stop what she can't see," he declared, dropping his eyes, looking a little sick.
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They all left her. Zagnan exclaiming over his new toy, Olean still bitching about the hole in his coat. Nathan was unusually quiet. The door shut with a soft thud and the lock clicked in place; so much for trying to get out, even if she had the strength. She sat up and pulled the cloak tightly around her, she couldn't stop shaking and only a small part of it was because of the cold. She tried to think and could not focus. She had to do something. But, what? Xan was dead. She tried not to think about that, which made her think about it more. She cried a little, then made herself stop. Time to grieve later. First things first. She had to warn Xena. She was coming, with the baby. Why would she bring the baby? Where was Rachel? The answer to that was obvious, and too painful to dwell on. She had to do something. She stood up slowly, staggering like a drunk. She had not eaten much and had had very little to drink because she knew they were drugging the food, or the water, maybe both. She ate and drank only enough to stay alive, but still the drugs and the fever played nasty tricks on her mind. She was never quite sure what was real. She made her way over to the door, running her fingers over it until she felt the splintered wood around the small hole. She peered inside the hole and a small reflection of light on silver winked back at her. She dug at the hole a bit until she ran a splinter of wood under her nail. "Ow!" she hissed, sticking her bleeding finger into her mouth. Well, that was real enough. Taking a step back, she tripped over the bale of straw, ending up on her butt in a dank, freezing cold puddle of water. "Ah, son of a stinking Bacc..." she started to cry, which somehow turned into laughter and that really scared her. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she got to her feet and zigzagged her way back over to the grimy collection of blankets and rags that made up her bed. She half sat, half fell into it, her heart beating wildly in her chest from the exertion. She half laughed again. Oh, yeah, Gabrielle, she thought, some great help you are going to be. Closing her eyes, trying to get her breathing under control before she passed out, she could not remember a time when she had felt so hopeless, or so totally helpless. She slept for awhile, or at least she thought she did. She opened her eyes, feeling another presence in the room. "Xena?" her voice was a wisp of blue frost within a stillness as deep and dank as a tomb.
"No, child, not Xena."
The voice startled her and she sat straight up, wincing at all the new little discomforts the dampness and cold had bestowed upon her while she dozed.
"Darker than Xena," the voice continued. "Though not by much".
Laughter, then, sounding old and raspy, not from old age, but rather from disuse.
Gabrielle stared, finally discerning a shape, just slightly darker than the darkness surrounding it. The shape moved closer, along with something else that looked like patches of dirty gray fog. The fog coalesced into three dark shadows that surrounded her and transformed themselves into three black dogs. Ooookay, she thought to herself, now this has to be a dream and it's quite a doozy, if I do say so myself.
"You are not dreaming, Gabrielle."
One of the dogs stuck its snout in Gabrielle's face and she pulled back.
"They won't hurt you."
Gabrielle looked up at the apparition in black for a moment until her attention was drawn back to the dog. "Gaaa," Gabrielle uttered disgustedly, shoving on the dog's massive chest, pushing it away from her. "Its breath is enough to kill someone, what do you feed it, roadkill?"
The dog looked first surprised and then rather hurt. It tried growling to no effect, Gabrielle leaned back and ignored it. It finally wiped its cold, slimy nose on her hand and was rewarded with a sound of pure disgust as it stepped back out of reach of Gabrielle's backhand. The woman in black looked on in unaccustomed amusement, quite a novel state for her. She was totally silent for quite sometime. Gabrielle rubbed her eyes and looked up at her, somewhat surprised that she was still there. The dogs sat stoically at her feet, staring curiously at her.
"If you are real, who are you and what do you want?"
The dogs looked from Gabrielle up to their master, as if they understood every word. This, Gabrielle thought, was getting more bizarre by the moment.
"I can help you."
"Can you get me out of here?"
"I can do better than that."
Gabrielle waited, the woman moved closer, she didn't actually see her move, but suddenly, there she was, kneeling beside her. Gabrielle caught a glimpse of dark eyes outlined by the palest face she had ever seen.
"You have a great desire to return to your past, to make things right. I could make that happen," she smiled a little at the dubious look on Gabrielle's face. "You don't believe me."
"I don't believe you," Gabrielle agreed. "I don't even believe you exist."
"You think you are dreaming?"
"Dreaming, hallucinating, take your pick. It's hard to tell any more."
"And this," she held out a small handful of the black powder. "Is this a dream? And this," reaching down, grasping Gabrielle's wrist, nodding at her once mangled hand. "Did you hallucinate the healing?"
"That wasn't you."
"I didn't say it was."
Gabrielle was silent, the grip on her wrist making her shudder slightly. The woman released her wrist. "These are strange days, are they not, Gabrielle? There are many forces at work. The gods are restless, the spirit roads; heavily traveled."
"And who are you? What are you?"
The woman smiled from beneath the hood. "My name is Hecate."
A slight spark of recognition in Gabrielle's eyes.
"You have heard of me?"
"Yes... but I can't quite remember..." she leaned her head back against the wall behind her, trying to think.
"It is not important at the moment. What is important is that you don't have much time, nor does Xena."
"Where is she?" Gabrielle leaned forward once again, interested now, in spite of her doubts.
"She is on her way here, of course. Did you doubt that she would come for you?"
"I- "
"Of course you didn't. And you will do well not to doubt that this," nodding at the black powder, "will be the end of her."
"No, she-"
"Yes, Gabrielle! How could she possibly defend herself against this? A tiny poison ball propelled by a fiery force straight from Tartarus! You saw it. You even smelled it. You know it was not a dream, not a hallucination. You can't stop it. You can't help her. You're too sick, Gabrielle, too weak."
"Stop...just stop. What do you want from me?"
The woman was silent for a moment. "I told you, Gabrielle. I can help you, I can take you back, give you the opportunity to change the past and, therefore, change the future."
"That's impossible."
"Is it? Nothing is impossible, Gabrielle. Surely, you know that by now."
Gabrielle said nothing, still unconvinced. The woman sighed.
"Have you ever heard of deja vu, Gabrielle?"
"Of course."
"What is it, do you think?"
"It's a feeling, of having been somewhere, or doing something that you have already done before." She looked into the woman's eyes, seeing where this was leading. "It's just a feeling."
"Is it? Are you so sure of that?"
Gabrielle thought about it for a moment and found she had no answer.
"Why, then? Why would you do this for me?"
"Well, dear girl, that should be obvious, I want something in return."
Gabrielle blew out a short gust of air. "Forget it. I owed a debt to a god before, it was too high a price to pay."
"Don't you even want to know what it is?"
"You are going to tell me ahead of time?"
"But, of course. How could I hope to persuade you, if you have no idea what I expect in return?
Gabrielle swallowed uncomfortably, remembering a time when she had agreed to just that very thing. She closed her eyes, knowing in her heart that she should not be listening to this. She was sick, and so very weary, not thinking clearly at all. But, some small part of her wanted to know, wanted to hear the rest. Besides," she thought, at this point, what have I-
"What have you got to lose?" Hecate's voice blended with the one in her head, or was it the one in her head?
"I'm listening," she said warily.
"I'll take you back- "
"Back to where?"
Hecate was silent for a moment, thinking. "You long to save Xena's son, and your daughter, too, if possible. I will place you in a position to try."
"To try?"
"I cannot guarantee you will succeed, but you will have the opportunity, it is the best I can do."
Gabrielle closed her eyes, looking for the catch she knew must be hidden within the offer. "And if I don't succeed?" she asked, looking up once more.
"You can return. You will return here, to this time, this place, and you will be indebted to me."
"And if I do succeed?"
"Well, then, you will never see me again, the debt would be canceled. If you change your past, you will change your future as well."
"It doesn't make sense," Gabrielle shook her head. "If I do succeed, then there is nothing in it for you. No offense, but I really can't picture you giving anything away."
Hecate laughed again, an odd sound, just bordering on unpleasant. "No offense taken, little one, and very perceptive of you. But, I am a gambler, of sorts, I play the odds."
"Then you think I'll fail."
Hecate shrugged. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose," she leaned a little closer to Gabrielle, eyes bright beneath the hood. "But, I always love playing the game."
"This is a game to you?" Gabrielle demanded, growing angry. "Playing with people's lives like this?"
"Yes. It is," leaning down, she placed a pale hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "Life is a game. Trust me."
Gabrielle leaned away from her touch and looked her straight in the eye. She saw a light there for a moment and reflected in that light, an image. An image of a woman with three heads, serpents entwined about her neck. She blinked and the image was gone. She shook her head a little and averted her eyes. "I don't trust you at all, and I like you even less."
Hecate laughed, a firm, solid sound this time, not just something rattling in the wind. "Ooo, Gabrielle, you are a smart girl, aren't you? And I, on the other hand, am beginning to like you immensely." Hecate straightened up and all three dogs rose at the same time, startling Gabrielle, who had forgotten they were there. Hecate remained motionless for so long, Gabrielle began to think she was just another shadow in the dank cellar. Gabrielle heard her sigh, then, and she walked several paces away, muttering something to herself. The dogs began to follow, when she suddenly turned and walked back to Gabrielle's side. Confused, the dogs looked at each other for a moment, then sat down again.
"What say you, Gabrielle, do you want to hear the rest, or not?" All seriousness now, no sign of humor in her demeanor. A tall, forbidding entity, at one with the darkness.
Gabrielle was a little surprised by this sudden change and her first reaction was to say no. She would wonder, later, if this were Hecate's intent. "Tell me then," Gabrielle said quietly, against her better judgment.
"Actually, it is something that should appeal to you. It is something you would probably do any- " Hecate stopped speaking and looked over her shoulder. Gabrielle looked also, but saw nothing in the darkness, but she felt something. An icy draft of air swept over them, then was quickly gone. Had it not been for the fact that she could see Hecate's breath when she faced her again, she would have thought she imagined it.
"What was that?" Gabrielle's voice was hushed.
Hecate bent down until she was staring directly into Gabrielle's eyes.
"I told you, the gods and the spirit's are restless, there are many who seek you. You and Xena."
"Why?"
Hecate smiled her mirthless smile, eyes looking more than a little crazed. She waved a hand in the air. "Oh, you know, as Xena goes, so goes the world," she prophesied offhandedly.
Gabrielle just stared at her as she hurried on.
"If you fail and you desire to return here, all you need do is repeat a single act exactly as you did it before."
"What- "
"Shush," Hecate placed a finger to her lips. "You will know, if it comes to that. If you return here and survive- " she looked around her again,
"about which I am beginning to have serious doubts, I am going to whisper a name to you, you will remember it. When... if this person enters your life in the future, their life will be in your hands, you will do all that you can to spare it. Do you understand?"
"That's it? You want me to spare someone's life?"
"Not as simple as it sounds, others will not be of the same mind."
Gabrielle stared at her. "And what will this person have done? Slaughtered women and children?"
Hecate looked insulted. "Of course not, are you mad?
No, Gabrielle thought, but you are. Without a doubt.
"Not mad enough to demand something of you that you are incapable of doing."
"Stop doing that!" Gabrielle insisted, putting her hands over her ears.
"Doing what?" Hecate asked innocently.
"Reading my thoughts, my mind, whatever..."
The woman chuckled a bit as she pulled one hand away from Gabrielle's ear. "What, child, do you think your thoughts are leaking out your ears?"
"Funny," Gabrielle intoned, yanking her hand out of Hecate's grasp.
"It was rather humorous, wasn't it?" Hecate looked surprised and then pleased. "You know, I have not done that in a long, long time."
Gabrielle looked up at her.
"Said something humorous," Hecate replied to her questioning look.
"Yeah, well it wasn't all that funny," Gabrielle informed her uncharitably.
"Still..." Hecate reflected. She sobered, suddenly and looked behind her once more. "I know, not at all becoming for the goddess of darkness."
"What?"
She turned back once more. "Nothing, nothing. I have been here much too long, time grows short." She looked warily at Gabrielle. "You talk too much, child."
"So I've been told."
"Tell me, then, do you wish to return?"
"I need time to- "
"No more time. Decide. You have only the coming day and night, if you decide to return."
"One day?"
"It will be enough. Trust me." Hecate held up a hand. "Forget the "trust me" part," she surrendered wearily.
Gabrielle took a deep breath and leaned back, trying desperately to think. She knew that what seemed too good to be true usually was. She knew she should not trust this woman, if she could do what she said, then she was not merely a mortal woman. Hecate. She knew that name, why can't she remember? But, a chance to change the past, to undo all the damage that she and Hope had... And Hecate was right, what chance did Xena have against Nathan's weapon. What did she have to lose? The answer came to her as clearly as if someone had spoken it aloud. She looked up at Hecate. "If I can't change the past and I return here?"
"Yes?" Hecate impatiently urged her on.
"When the time comes, what if I can't save this person's life, the person you want spared, what happens then?"
"I ask only that you try your best to do so."
"And if I don't? If I merely refuse to save him?"
"Then you forfeit your soul to me, Gabrielle."
"Ah. And you were going to tell me this when?"
"Before you made your decision, of course."
"Of course."
Hecate bent down and stared into Gabrielle's eyes. "Frankly, Gabrielle, I don't think it will come to that. And to tell you the truth, I don't think I want your soul. I fear it would never give me a moment's peace." She stared a moment longer and for some reason, Gabrielle believed her. Hecate straightened up abruptly and all three dogs jumped to their feet.
"What have you decided?"
Gabrielle swallowed her doubts, as well as her fear. "Send me back," she whispered.
"You are sure?"
"No. But, do it anyway."
"It shall be as you wish."
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Hecate paused as she exited the underground room. The night was black as pitch, not even a star to pierce the darkness. She felt the presence behind her, but did not turn. "An unusual girl," Hecate observed softly.
"Yes."
"She and Xena. Together. Now that's disturbing. No wonder you fear them."
"I fear nothing."
Hecate snorted.
"You doubt me?"
"Everyone fears something," Hecate replied.
"Not I."
"Then why bother with them?"
"They are a distraction."
"I'll bet."
"Do not be flip with me Hecate, remember your place."
She stiffened at the words and turned around. Coldness emanated from her. Her eyes were as black as the night, untold terrors dwelled within them, shifting and moving, like smoke behind a veil. "My debt to you is paid. I owe you nothing, do not threaten me and do not call upon me again." And with that, she turned and seemed to simply become one with the night. The dogs followed, one by one, and the thing that stood in the darkness, stood alone.
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Gabrielle never expected to just close her eyes one moment and wake up the next in the past, but that's exactly what happened. One moment she was lying in her dank, underground prison and the next she was standing in the room where Xena told Solan to wait for her. She turned around slowly, taking it all in, remembering. She could still see Xena's anguished face as she held her dead son's body. Hear her nightmarish scream of hopeless despair; see the look in her eyes as part of her, part of them, died forever. It was almost too much to bear. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the heel of her hand into first one eye and then the other, pushing back the tears before they could overwhelm her. She turned toward the sound of a door opening and suddenly Hope was standing in front of her. She looked just as startled as Gabrielle and they both just stared at one another for a moment.
"M-Mother, how did you...what are you doing here?"
It took a moment for Gabrielle to find her voice, when she finally did, she was relieved to hear that she at least sounded as if she were in control. "I came to stop you, Hope. And to help you."
"I don't know what you mean, mother, you sent me here to be safe from Callisto and- "
Gabrielle moved close to Hope, placing her fingertips against Hope's lips, silencing her. "Don't! Don't lie to me, Hope. I know why you've come, what you've done, and what Dahak has planned for you and I'm telling you, I am your last chance at life."
It was clear from the look in Hope's eyes that she was completely shocked and, for the first time ever, Gabrielle saw something else there as well; fear. Hope turned to leave and Gabrielle grabbed her.
"Hope, wait!"
Hope turned back to her. "Let me go, Mother, you can't help me, surely you know that, no one can help me."
"Yes, I can! I can help you, but you have to let me, you have to trust me."
Hope stared into her eyes, threw a quick glance over her shoulder and then looked down at the floor. "He will never let me go," she whispered. "Never!"
"We can fight him, I know he can be defeated, I promise you."
Hope looked up at her, eyes filled with tears. "He will kill you, he will kill us both, if I don't- "
"He won't."
Her look turned curious now, still disbelieving, but maybe just a little hopeful, too. She began to say something when the door slammed open behind them and Xena almost stumbled over Hope as she rushed in.
Gabrielle grabbed Hope's arm and pulled her around behind her. Xena's eyes were manic blue fire, she drew her sword and Gabrielle grabbed her arm as Hope scurried to the back of the room.
"Where's Solan?!" Xena hissed. "Where's my son!"
Pulling her arm from Gabrielle's grasp, she moved determinedly toward Hope. Gabrielle forced herself between them, holding up her hands, trying desperately to slow her down.
"Xena, wait!" she shouted desperately.
"Get out of my way," Xena's voice was quiet menace through tightly clenched teeth.
"Solan's not here, he's safe, he- Xena listen to me!!" she grabbed Xena's arm with both hands and hung on tightly, using her shoulder to push Xena back a step. "Xena, by the gods, stop! You don't understand!!"
"No! No, Gabrielle. You don't understand. She is evil! Why can't you see that? I will end this, right here, right now. Now get out of my way."
"Xena, I..."
They both heard it, or sensed it. Xena looked up over Gabrielle's head and Gabrielle saw her eyes widen slightly. Gabrielle unconsciously tightened her grip on Xena's arm. Xena's eyes touched Gabrielle's for the briefest of moments before she nearly lifted her off of her feet and swung her around, putting herself between Gabrielle and Hope. Something hit Xena hard from behind and she stumbled forward into Gabrielle's arms. Gabrielle looked up at her. Xena opened her mouth and a tiny trickle of blood leaked from the corner of it.
"Xena..."
Xena shook her head a little, a look of utter disbelief on her face. She released her sword and placed her hand on her chest. The sword hit the floor, ringing like a pure, silver bell. Another small stream of blood spilled over Xena's fingers and when Gabrielle looked closely, she could just see the tip of a piece of pointed metal between Xena's bloody fingers.
"No," Gabrielle whispered, looking again into Xena's eyes, shaking her head. "Oh, no, no..."
Xena looked with awestruck wonder into Gabrielle's eyes. She lifted a trembling, blood soaked hand, first to touch the side of Gabrielle's face, then to grip her shoulder, leaving a warm smear of blood on Gabrielle's jaw. Leaning forward, she began to slowly collapse. Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena's waist, lowering them both gently to the floor. Sliding her hands carefully up Xena's back, Gabrielle pulled her gently forward against her shoulder. She stared in horror as her fingers brushed the bloody, feathered end of a crossbow arrow. The short, lethal arrow had passed through Xena's back, piercing her heart on its deadly way out. Gabrielle closed her eyes and lowered Xena onto her lap, arm supporting her upper body, trying not to drive the arrow any deeper.
"Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle looked down into Xena's eyes.
"Don't turn your back..."
"What?" she strained to hear what Xena was saying.
"Hope..." Xena's words flowed quietly together, on an exhale of tortured breath. "Don't turn your back on her."
Gabrielle closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Gabrielle."
"I'm here, Xena, I hear you."
"Promise me...promise.."
"What?"
"Swear to me, swear you won't let her... hurt my son, please.
"It will be all right, Xena."
"Promise me!
"I swear it."
Xena's burning blue eyes searched Gabrielle's for a long time before she finally seemed to find what she was looking for. "I never thought I would...that we would..."
It was the last thing she said before the blue fire flickered, grew increasingly cold and went quietly out. Gabrielle sat for a long time with Xena cradled in her arms, before realizing that Hope was sitting silently beside her. Gabrielle raised her head slowly and looked over at her.
"I didn't mean to, Mother. I swear, I didn't mean to hurt her."
Gabrielle said nothing.
"I was afraid and I thought she was hurting you. I just wanted her to let you go. I picked up the crossbow and I just wanted to scare her, I- "
"Hope, stop. Just... stop, please," Gabrielle said wearily.
"You don't believe me," Hope said, standing up. "I don't blame you. She was your friend and I hurt her. If you don't want to help me, now, I will understand."
Gabrielle stared hard at her and began to say something when they both heard Solan's voice in the distance, calling for Xena.
"Oh, no," Hope said quietly, looking down at Xena.
Gabrielle laid Xena down and stood up, wincing at the dull ache in her back, wondering how long she had been sitting there with Xena clutched tightly in her arms. Looking around, she grabbed a blanket and threw it over Xena just as Solan burst through the door. Gabrielle moved between him and the still form on the floor.
"Gabrielle!" Solan exclaimed, surprised to see her here. "Where's Xena?" he rushed on. "She told me to meet her. She's going to take me with her when she leaves, isn't that great?"
Tears glistened in Gabrielle's eyes as she looked into Solan's face, flushed with excitement, his eyes filled with joy. She took a step toward him. "Solan..."
He looked up at her, the look on her face subduing him a bit.
"It's all right isn't it? You don't mind if I come with you, do you?"
"Of course I wouldn't mind, Solan, but..." she stopped; she could not find the words to tell him, could not force herself to be the one to forever destroy the happiness she saw in his eyes. Solan looked around and finally noticed the blanket covered form on the floor. His eyes found Gabrielle's once more.
"Who..." his voice cracked and faltered as he saw the answer in Gabrielle's grief stricken eyes.
"Solan," she reached out to him and he backed away from her, shaking his head in denial.
"No. No it isn't her, it isn't her. She promised."
"Solan, I'm so sorry."
Still shaking his head, he stepped around Gabrielle and slowly knelt beside the body on the floor. Reaching out toward the blanket, he pulled his hand back, wiping it on his pants. Gabrielle watched silently, keeping her distance. Taking a deep breath, Solan reached out again and with a trembling hand, lifted the blanket. The sound that he made pierced Gabrielle's heart like a blade. A mournful, utterly lost, wounded animal wail. Uncomprehending, inconsolable, forever frozen in its agony. Gabrielle sat down beside him, gathering him into her arms, crying with him until he slumped against her, exhausted by his grief. He quieted after a while and she thought that he had fallen asleep.
"It will be all right, Solan," she comforted.
He sat up suddenly, startling her, and pulled away. "Who did this?" he whispered, his voice eerily calm.
"Solan- "
"Who?!" he cried loudly, getting to his feet, hands clenched at his sides.
Gabrielle stood also. "It was my fault, Solan."
He leveled a hard glare her. "No. I don't believe you. You wouldn't, you couldn't."
Gabrielle said nothing as he stared wildly into her eyes, struggling to control his tears, his rage. Tearing his eyes from hers, he looked back down at Xena. "She loved you," he accused, returning his eyes to Gabrielle's.
"I- "
"She warned me. She told me there was only one person I could truly trust. That if I needed an answer, I need only go... only go..." He closed his eyes and Gabrielle moved close to him once again.
"She was right, Solan, Xena was the only one you could truly trust, the one you could always go to."
He stepped back from her, looking her straight in the eye, surprising her by releasing a harsh bark of laughter. "No."
"Solan- "
"No! Don't you see? She wasn't talking about herself, Gabrielle. She was talking about you. You! Well, who do I trust now, Gabrielle. If it was your fault that she died, who do I go to now?" He spun around, staring down at Xena, hurt and anger pushing him over the edge, out of control. "You lied to me!" He screamed down at her, eyes wild, sobbing, shaking his head like a wounded beast.
"By the gods, Solan," Gabrielle cried.
He bent down and picked up Xena's sword, bringing it smoothly up, clutching it tightly with both hands, turning on her. She took a step back from him, remembering that same wild, furious look in his mother's eyes, the one that would forever haunt her dreams.
"Go away," he whispered hoarsely. "Go. While you still can."
"Solan, please."
His eyes caught fire and he raised the tip of the blade to her throat.
"I will be a warrior. Just like her. I will find out who killed her, who betrayed her. I will find out who killed her, and my uncle, and I will bury this sword in his heart. I swear it."
She stared into his blue eyes, so like Xena's, and she knew he was lost, beyond reason, consumed by his hurt and his rage. She put her hand on the sharp blade and slowly pushed it away from her.
He turned from her and stared down at the mother he would never know.
"Go away," he whispered, his misery all-consuming. "Go away." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Gabrielle sat down in a familiar clearing in the woods. Aching, defeated, weary beyond measure. Hope sat down beside her and tentatively took her hand. "I'm sorry, Mother. I'm so sorry."
Gabrielle looked into Hope's tear filled eyes and tried to feel something beyond the numbness in her heart. "Where did you get the crossbow, Hope?"
"What?"
"The crossbow, where did you get it?"
"It was lying by the fireplace, with a bunch of other weapons."
Gabrielle nodded. It had been there, she had seen it herself. Could Hope actually be telling the-
"We will have to kill Solan now, won't we, Mother?"
Gabrielle's jaw dropped. Stunned into silence, she stared at her daughter for a long moment. "What did you say?" she managed, finally.
"Solan. He's going to come after us, you know. If he's anything like his mother, he will figure out what happened, he will never stop looking for us."
"Did you hurt Solan's uncle, Hope?"
Hope looked guilelessly at Gabrielle, eyes narrowing for a brief moment before she answered. "Callisto killed him, I saw her."
Gabrielle closed her eyes against the lie. "How did you know Xena was Solan's mother?"
"You told me, Mother, don't you remember?"
Gabrielle opened her eyes and studied the child sitting in front of her. Unmoved, Hope looked away after a moment. "I'm tired and I'm thirsty, mother. May I have some of that, please?"
Gabrielle just continued to stare at her.
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