Disclaimers & Warnings: See Part 1

The final passage to Therme was uneventful. After a week of trouble free, fair weather sailing, the ship docked and Gabrielle set foot again in Greece.

Ya know, you're only 50 miles from Potidaea, Gabrielle. You could visit Lila and Sarah in two or three days, the Warrior Princess suggested, appearing and ambling alongside her soulmate as she walked along the waterfront.

"I know, Xena, and I've been thinking about it, believe me. The thing is, if I go they'll want me to tell them the story of how you died…and everything else that's happened to us since we rescued Sarah from Gurkhan. I'd probably have to stay a week, so a visit would take me almost two weeks out of my way. And then, I've got no real reason to leave, except I feel that I have to go north. So I'd be spending two weeks to drag myself through some harsh memories, when I feel like I should be somewhere else. No, I guess I'll just see them on the way back…from wherever I'm going.

Anyway, it seems like a long time since I've been here. I know it's only been about six months since we left Japa, but so much has happened…."

Six months…maybe that's why you're starting to look shaggy, the ghost observed. Planning on letting your hair grow long again?

"I dunno. I hadn't thought about it, really. You always used to trim the parts I can't reach…" Gabrielle said sadly. She had stopped walking and tuned to look at Xena's ghost. It was another memory of a small shared act, like so many that lay in ambush waiting to be acknowledged. For a moment she looked a little lost and her lower lip trembled, then she swallowed and blinked. She shook her head as if to dislodge her melancholy, and resumed walking. "Maybe I will let it grow for a while."

I always liked you with long hair. I was almost sorry to see ya cut it when we left the Norselands. The look had brought Xena memories of a simpler and happier Gabrielle.

"I'd gotten used to having it short. It's so much less work to take care of, and it's less distracting in a fight." After a pause, the blonde continued. "I'm kind of hoping I won't be doing much fighting."

I hope ya won't have to fight either, but at least I'm comfortable knowing you can take care of yourself. You're not only a better fighter, but you're a better warrior than most.

"Thanks, Xena," Gabrielle answered with sincerity, "it means a lot to me to hear you say that. For a long time it was one of the things I most wanted to hear."

Xena watched her soulmate trudging along beside her. I just wish you also felt like writing again, she thought, and I wouldn't mind seeing you smile more. Maybe that'll come in time though. They walked through the city and out of its walls, following the road north in a companionable silence.

Slowly the miles passed, and finally a league lay behind them and then two. The creaking of ships' rigging, the crying of gulls, and smell of the sea had disappeared in the distance, gradually replaced by the quiet of open forests and rolling fields. Sometimes they heard livestock in the distance, the bleating of sheep, grunting of swine, and once, the bell around a cow's neck. Here and there a side road branched off, leading to a homestead or village, revealed by a distant thatched roof or a column of smoke. At times the blonde would stop and gaze at them wistfully. These were the homes of simpler people, living simpler lives. It was a coexisting world that seemed to be a world apart. The road was familiar in this area and Gabrielle was making for a campsite that she and Xena had used several times before. She reached it in the fifth candlemark past noon.

The secluded site was much as Gabrielle remembered it. The clearing under a large cedar tree appeared undisturbed. The warrior inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma of the fallen needles underfoot. The dense carpet formed by those same needles would soften her bed. Nearby, a stream tumbled gently over time smoothed rocks, providing a soft musical background to be accompanied by the crackle of her fire. Setting up her camp took little time, and soon she was cooking a stew over the fire.

"Look, Xena, that log you dragged over is still here," Gabrielle happily declared, "and I found mushrooms and wild onions just like last time. The rabbits are still stupid enough to practically jump into the pot, and the water here is still sweet."

You're right, Gabrielle. Things are pretty much the same around here, Xena observed, looking around and even testing out her old seat on the log. Things look the same, she thought, but so much has changed. I won't be sharpening my sword by the campfire tonight, as you write on a scroll sitting next to me, she thought sadly. Never again.

She spied something behind the log, and leaned over to investigate. It was the primary flight feather of a goose, weathered by exposure to the elements. The tip lay in the dried earth. Xena could see that it had once been sharpened, but had split, from the nub well up the shaft, rendering it useless for writing. The ghost let out a soft sigh.

"What is it, Xena? You miss this place too?"

More than I can say. And I miss the time more than the place, she thought. Last time we were here, Eve was with us, and we were headed back from the Amazon lands towards Amphipolis. You sat up late into the night, writing down the tale of how we stopped a war and I killed the Furies, while I sat beside you and sharpened my sword. I wish you'd write again sometime. I wish I could taste your cooking, and lie next to you in the firelight, arguing about the stars. It's still one of the nicest campsites, Gabrielle. It's good to see these lands again.

"Yeah, it is nice to be back, but you know, it doesn't feel the same. It's familiar country, but I guess I don't feel as much at home here as I used to. I just don't feel as connected to this land anymore." Gabrielle shook herself. She looked up from the fire, and into Xena's eyes. "Was it like this, when you came back home after being away for so long?"

For a moment, Xena was lost in memory, thinking back to the first time she'd returned to the Stryma Vale after giving up her life as a warlord. She'd wanted to come home to Amphipolis. She'd wanted to start over, but she'd found that in life there could be no going back. Draco had been partially right. The past was the past, never the future.

I guess it felt a little like that. On the other hand, I was feeling a lot of hope that I could start over. I was nervous, but I was happy to be home. Of course, the homecoming left a lot to be desired. Her mother had disowned her in greeting and the villagers had wanted to stone her. Heartbroken by the reception, she'd been willing to let them. It had fallen to the peasant girl with the silver tongue to convince them to spare the Warrior Princess. She had repaid Xena for saving her and her kinswomen from Draco's slavers. It was the first of many exchanges of life debts, and with it, Gabrielle had furthered her campaign to become a part of Xena's life. Two ancient souls had found each other in yet another life.

"Well, I feel like the land's the same, but I've changed. It's like I don't fit in here now…like it's not home anymore. I guess I don't feel like I have a home anymore. I've outlived almost everyone we knew. I've even outlived most of the gods I grew up with. I've outlived my roots, Xena, like a plant that's been repotted too many times."

Gabrielle, you've traveled through most of the known world and you've seen things you once dreamed about. You've survived to see astonishing changes. We caused plenty of them ourselves. The important thing is…you survived. Maybe you've outgrown the world you grew up in and these lands just can't hold the answers to your dreams anymore.

The blonde warrior ladled stew from the pot into her bowl and sat down next to her soulmate on the log. After blowing on a spoonful to cool it, she savored the flavor.

"You know, Xena, I think maybe the problem is that I've outgrown my dreams."

Overhead, the sky had traded blue for deepening violet, and through the branches of the cedar overhead, the stars winked to life. Gabrielle noticed that the flickering light of her small fire was casting dancing shadows on the rocks behind the tree. Somewhere in the distance an owl hooted, freed from old Athena to hunt for its own dinner on silent wings. Next to the warrior, the log was suddenly empty.

"Damn, I hate when she does that." Unable to sense the absence of Xena's scent and body heat next to her, the blonde never knew when she left anymore.

Xena looked down on her soulmate's camp as Gabrielle cleaned up and prepared for sleep. Another night as sentry against dangers, seen and unseen, lay ahead. You're right, Gabrielle, you've done everything the farm girl from Potidaea dreamed of doing, when she followed me all those years ago. Maybe you just need new dreams, she whispered as she watched. Her soulmate had wrapped herself in her blanket and dozed off.


Snow was falling. The biting air gusted in frigid blasts that stiffened her fingers and made her blink watery eyes. In the distance she could hear battle cries and the furious clash of arms. Just over the next rise, her senses told her, mortal combat was being fought. She hastened to the crest of the hill and gazed down into the small valley below. There men fought and died. The frozen ground was littered with the bodies of warriors; the blood speckled snow trampled into slush beneath their boots. The fighters' desperate breath formed jets of steam as they exhaled, swinging their axes and swords.

A small contingent was surrounded by a larger company, and their impending defeat by attrition was only a matter of time. Their defense was doomed by the disparity in numbers. Not much longer now. The defenders were tiring. One of them looked up from the fighting, and his eyes met hers…familiar, proud, and bold. For a moment she saw a smile grace his face. For some reason, it made her heart lurch. She snatched the chakram from her belt, and launched it into the press of attackers, and then with a yell, she drew her sword and charged.


Gabrielle's eyes snapped open in the darkness just before the dawn, and for a second, she thought she felt arms around her. The camp was silent, and the fire was but a glowing bed of coals. She lay still for a moment, trying to recall the dream, but as always, it was gone, leaving only feelings. Soon, the land around her would start to gain colors, recovering as the dimmest glow, reflected off the sky in the east, fought back the night. Yet for a dying moment the night still held sway.

It was rare for her to awaken at this hour and she was impressed with the sense of peace she felt. The world was still holding its breath on the verge of a new day, and for a short space, she stood on the threshold of the new day's life.

Was this the serenity that Xena had sought, in the phantom hour before Eos' coming? In this timeless moment, Gabrielle felt that all was unjudged, anonymous, and the possibilities of life were unhindered by the realities the daylight would reveal. With night's dying breath, it was possible to sustain the notion of having no past, no guilt, and no burdens of the soul. Here, for a short span, a tortured soul could rest. A shaft of light passed the horizon, shattering the peace of the dark, and then Helios rode forth. The spell was broken, yet for a moment, she had felt that anything could be.

You're up early! Xena said in greeting, appearing with a grin on her face as she looked down on Gabrielle, who was still wrapped in her blanket.

"Good morning to you too," the blonde replied, without a trace of a yawn, "it was so peaceful, just a moment ago, right before the sun came up."

I always thought so…it was one of my favorite times. I found it helped me feel centered. It was a good way to start the day.

"For a moment I felt that anything was possible, no matter what had come before, or what might happen next. It was as though the day was a blank scroll…almost like life was a blank scroll."

Yeah, that's a good description. Lao Ma always used to be awake at that time. Years later, I started sitting quietly like she did, just before the dawn. It helped me a lot, especially when I had trouble believing I could change my life.

"I think I'll borrow the trick, if you don't mind. I don't know what I'm looking to change, but I like feeling that it's possible."

Well, consider it a gift, Xena said with a broad smile. If anyone needs it these days, it's you, she thought to herself. You need new dreams to believe in.

"I guess I may as well get up and make some tea."

For the next week, the warrior followed a similar pattern. In the evenings she'd find a campsite, often as not familiar, cook a dinner while chatting with her soulmate's ghost, and then retire. In the candlemark before the dawn, she'd wake from a dream she didn't remember, and wait, enjoying the peace she felt before the rising of the sun. Then she'd start her day of travel, moving inexorably north, without a destination. The lands were still familiar, and on the eighth day she crossed a stream, her senses on alert. Within thirty yards she was surrounded.

Though it was just a formality, she clasped her hands above her head. The warriors who had gathered around her removed their masks, revealing faces that smiled in welcome.

"Welcome, Queen Gabrielle," the leader of the border patrol declared, as they gathered around, "it's good to see you again. Please, come to the village, and let the nation welcome you properly."

"Thank you, my sisters, it's good to be back," Gabrielle happily replied, before formally asking, "how stands the nation?"

"Things are well," the leader reported, "Queen Cyane directs the hunting parties, while Queen Varia leads the warriors. They rule civic matters, together with their advisers, as the council."

"I'm glad," the warrior said, "they follow the Amazon ways. I wish to greet them at the village."

"It will be our honor to escort you, Queen Gabrielle." Then the leader asked the question all her warriors held. "My queen, where's Xena? All know that you travel with the Warrior Princess, and we would welcome her as well."

Gabrielle couldn't help but fall silent. The question was inescapable, and though it had been over half a year, it still brought her sadness. She blinked before answering.

"She's dead. She fell in battle against thousands of warriors in Japa, seeking to destroy a spirit of great evil. In dying she conquered. I come here alone."

The party of Amazons hung their heads in silent respect for the fallen, and to acknowledge their queen's sorrow. Within the nation, the heroism and close relationship of the Warrior Princess and their absentee queen were near legend. They had been friends of the nation for over thirty years, appearing most often in times of threat, and the nation had benefited greatly from their aid and leadership.

Of the warriors present, none had even been born when the pair had first appeared, in the reign of Queen Melosa. But they had heard the stories since childhood, and it was the stuff of myth. The pair had died and lived again. There were those who believed that the woman standing before them was the last Chosen of Artemis, and had outlived both the goddess and her favor. Even after the Twilight, she counted the Goddess of Love as a friend. There had been no doubt that her champion and partner was the last Favorite of Ares, the mortal Chosen of the God of War. Some whispered that she had also been his daughter. And somewhere Xena's own daughter lived, once their nation's greatest enemy, she was also the holder of Queen Gabrielle's Right of Caste. Someday, perhaps, she too would be a queen of their nation.

The party escorted their queen to the village as an honor guard. Mostly they moved in silence. The queen seemed unwilling to volunteer further information before speaking with the council, and this was proper custom. They somehow managed to contain their curiosity and excitement. When Gabrielle reached the village, it was apparent that word of her presence had proceeded them. Most of the warriors were gathered in the village center, and Queen Varia and Queen Cyane were among them.

The three queens stood facing each other, six feet apart, surrounded by the nation's warriors. They saluted each other with their arms crossed over their chests, before their faces broke into smiles.

"Welcome, Queen Gabrielle, the nation opens its arms to returning royalty," Cyane formally declared, before moving forward to hug her friend.

"Welcome, Queen Gabrielle," Varia said, "we are always happy to see you." Then she continued more quietly as she moved closer. "We've heard the reports that Xena was killed. Gabrielle, I'm sorry. She was a true friend of the Amazons, and we all owed her so much. She saved my life…several times. She'll be deeply missed."

"Thank you both," Gabrielle said, "I'll tell you about it later, when we can talk alone. I see many new sisters, and they tell me the nation is strong."

"It's true, Gabrielle. Many have joined us, and since Helicon, the nation has been blessed with peace. We are still rebuilding though, but the nation is becoming stronger each day," Varia declared with pride.

"Your guidance would be a help to us," Cyane added, "and if you wish to stay we would all welcome you."

"Just one other thing though," Varia said, before turning to address the throng of Amazons. "In honor of the return of Queen Gabrielle, we declare a night and day of feasting, dancing, and celebrating!"

The crowd erupted in cheers, for if there was anything the Amazons liked more than a victory in battle, it was a good party.

That night, the celebrations commenced with traditional dancing, accompanied by the ceremonial drums. Their rhythms throbbed in the air, carrying throughout the village and into the surrounding darkness. The booming of the largest drums formed a foundation for the rapid staccato of the smaller drums, and these wove a counterpoint among themselves as the drummers engaged in competitive improvisation. This was a celebratory performance, not the strictly formal accompaniment of a ceremony or ritual.

The musicians seemed tireless, but the dancers would not be outdone, so long as they had breath and strength in their legs. The performance went on as it did at each celebration, an outlet for a creative and competitive people. The dancers' bodies twisted and moved to the rhythms of the drums, showcasing their athleticism. Sometimes, the stomping of their feet rivaled the drums; while at other times their fluid movements recalled the grace of the animals they studied as hunters.

Gabrielle sat, with Varia and Cyane, watching the energetic performance. It was a celebration of the vitality of the nation, and though she rejoiced, she also stood apart. She couldn't help but feel that, much as she loved her Amazon sisters, and much as she felt her link to the nation, it didn't feel like home. It had been one aspect of her life during the years she'd traveled with Xena, and the nature of her relationship with the nation hadn't changed.

Gabrielle's role as queen had been one facet of her identity. Though she would honor her responsibilities here, the role could not define her. They had strong leaders, and the nation would be strong, with or without her. The Amazon life had much to offer, but she realized that the nation could not give her what she needed. After a few days, or a week, she would leave as she always had before. Someday, she would return again.

"They'll go on all night," Varia proudly confided to Gabrielle, as the queens continued to watch the performance, "or at least until they all drop from exhaustion."

"I've been tempted many times to let them," Cyane said with a smile, "except the rest of us would starve first."

"Just watching them is making me hungry," Gabrielle confessed, looking longingly at the banquet spread out on tables before them. "They're wonderful as an opening for the celebration, though."

"It's their warrior spirit," Varia said with a wink, "we've got to let them blow off steam somehow, since the nation's at peace."

"So how long do you let them go on?" Gabrielle asked seriously.

"Oh, just until they start to get tired and clumsy," Cyane declared.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, even Gabrielle could discern some of the drummers mistiming their beats, and some of the dancers dragging their feet. As if on cue, Varia and Cyane stood and raised their arms. The sudden silence in the village was as shocking as the sounds had been a moment before. It was a very dramatic climax to the performance.

"The strength of the Amazon nation is in its warriors, and you have made the nation proud." Varia declared. "Tonight we celebrate the return of Queen Gabrielle, who has fought many times to make our nation strong. Now, partake of the bounty of our lands with pride and thanksgiving."

With that announcement the feasting began. The Amazons ate with the same gusto they showed in their fighting and dancing, and the food was accompanied with wine, cider, and ale. As the night progressed and the platters of food were emptied, voices were raised in laughter and song. The musical quality deteriorated as the barrels and kegs emptied, and if less concern was paid to the melodies and harmonies, then the songs were enjoyed no less, even as the lyrics fell prey to parody.

Though Varia long maintained her dignity, Cyane and Gabrielle were soon reduced to giggling. The candlemarks of darkness flowed with the beverages, the jesting, and the telling of exaggerated stories of questionable provenance. A wonderful time was had by all, though what many remembered in the morning would be incomplete.

Gabrielle actually dozed off while telling a Xena story, for which she apologized profusely, until Cyane unsteadily rose to say a few words. It was an ill-advised gesture. The queen swayed, losing her balance, and ended up sprawled across her guest's lap. Varia leaned over, laughing, and poured wine into her co-ruler's mouth, while holding her nose and forcing her to swallow. The nearest sentries watched with barely contained mirth as their queens collapsed in hysterics. Eventually, the three of them staggered off to the royal hut to sleep off the festivities.

It was a wonder they didn't burn the place down, for they knocked over much of the furniture. Somehow, the oil lamps were spared. The sentries could hear raucous laughter, crashing, and drunken wolf howls for the better part of a candlemark. Eventually there was silence.

Early the next morning, the Warrior Princess' ghost stood shaking her head in amazement as she surveyed the village. The remains of the celebration, and many of the celebrants, lay where they had fallen the night before. It was as though they had sacked their own village. She made her way through the wall of the queen's hut, and was astonished by the evidence of pandemonium within. Xena was familiar with the tendency of the Amazons to seriously party, but it had been decades since she could remember the rulers ascending to such a level of inebriation.

Chairs were upended, tables leaned against walls, and a washstand was actually smashed in a corner. Weapons and weavings hung a kilter on the walls. Several arrows had been shot into the ceiling with pieces of fruit impaled on the shafts. Oh great, Xena muttered to herself, drunk and shooting arrows in the hut…that would be Cyane.

Someone had vomited on a tray of bread and cheeses, which had subsequently been knocked to the floor. It had been walked through more than once, judging from the footprints. She wrinkled her nose. Parts of several sets of clothing were distributed in unlikely places around the room. The skirt flung onto a queen's mask in the corner, for example…she'd have recognized that anywhere. Xena gulped. The matching top was tied end to end with two others and festively dangled from the rafters.

Towards the back of the hut, a privacy screen had been knocked over against the sleeping pallet, and stood at an odd angle, still blocking the view. Do I really want to see this, she had to ask herself seriously, I doubt if it's a pretty sight. Still, curiosity got the better of her, and she peeked around the end of the screen.

The pallet was awash in feathers from a luckless pillow, a casualty of a pillow fight. The down had covered everything, including the three naked bodies asleep in a tangle of limbs that left the Warrior Princess scratching her head. How did they manage to get into a position like that, she asked herself, trying to recall her own experiences. Varia must have had to twist around Gabrielle, while Cyane was bent over sideways…or is that Gabrielle's leg sticking out all the way over there? Are those Cyane's feet…is that one of her feet…is one of those hands Varia's? What did they put in their hair to make it all spiky like that? I'll bet they ended up howling at the moon…again.

The three queens were snoring soundly, and it seemed like they would be for some time yet. Looks like they had a good time, but they'll feel like souls in Tartarus when they finally get up. I don't think I want to be around for the hangovers. Xena laughed and vanished.

When the door of the queen's hut finally opened, the noon meal was candlemarks past. The entire village was somewhat subdued and few of the adults felt festive. The bright sunlight felt like a curse. So many Amazons had been through the bathhouse that the floor was a half-hand deep in water. Seeing this, the queens headed for the stream, despite the lack of hot water. Even there, the evidence of usage could be seen in the trampled and muddy bank.

Varia, with her typical bravado, dived in and regretted it instantly. Gabrielle eased herself into the water, holding her throbbing head, while Cyane slipped and slid down the bank, landing unceremoniously on her butt. No one laughed…it was still too painful. They sat like zombies, immersed to their shoulders before the water's chill began to register, forcing them to wash quickly; rinse even quicker, and scramble back onto the bank to dry off. Varia and Cyane admired the tattoo of the Eastern Dragon on Gabrielle's back, the full color artwork being rare in the west.

"I'm getting too old for this," Gabrielle muttered to herself.

"I think I was born too old for this," Cyane complained while pulling on her leathers.

"I seem to remember proclaiming a night and day of festivities," Varia groaned, putting her head down in her hands.

"If this is all to welcome me," Gabrielle responded bleakly, "you can bury me when the celebration is over."

"Somehow, I think our people will run us out of the village if we try to make them celebrate anymore today," Cyane reasoned, "the place was pretty quiet."

"Just so long as they don't start with those drums, I might survive," Gabrielle warned, "which reminds me…survival…I know of some herbs that will help with the hangovers."

Varia looked up at her hopefully. "Well, what are we waiting for? I absolutely need those herbs."

"Uhhh, it's just that it's one of Xena's recipes…" Gabrielle said, chewing her lower lip in trepidation.

"So? Who cares where the recipe comes from so long as it works?" Cyane asked.

"Well, a lot of her medicines can be kind of unpleasant," Gabrielle warned them.

"It can't be as bad as this hangover," Varia declared, hoping for confirmation from Gabrielle, but getting only a sad look. "It can't," she said, less hopefully, "can it?"

Gabrielle gulped, already imagining the taste in her mouth. Finally she got up and led them back to the village.

The three trooped into the healer's hut, where bundles of dried herbs hung from the rafters, bringing a sharp spicy scent to the air. Gabrielle set to work under the watchful eyes of Espurgia, the master healer. The blonde warrior rapidly located what she needed and blended three doses. Espurgia's chuckling wasn't very encouraging to Varia or Cyane. When Gabrielle added the final ingredient, a crushed root, Espurgia barked with laughter and left the hut.

Having steeped the herbs in boiling water until the color darkened, Gabrielle filled three mugs. She handed one to Varia, and one to Cyane. On the count of three, the queens quaffed the potion.

"Gaaaaaaaahhhhhh," Gabrielle sputtered, blinking in amazement.

"Ueeeeeech!" Varia choked, spitting to clear her palette.

"Hmmmm, that wasn't so bad," Cyane declared bravely, before turning green and dashing out of the hut.

Gabrielle and Varia looked at each other, then at the door Cyane had just fled through. Before either could count to ten, they were leaping to their feet and bolting out the door after her. They joined Cyane, and spent the next quarter-candlemark behind the healer's hut, gagging and heaving. By the time they were done, all traces of their hangovers were gone.

"I don't feel so bad now," Cyane said unconvincingly, as she lay on her side panting.

"Yeah, it worked, but was it worth it?" Varia asked rhetorically, wiping beads of sweat from her brow.

"Obviously it's a case of two wrongs making a right," Gabrielle observed weakly, crawling over next to her companions. Soon she asked, "So, what's for lunch?"

Varia and Cyane could only groan. Gabrielle alone could see and hear Xena's ghost, laughing at them as she watched from the woods nearby. They'd die if they knew she was watching us, the compact warrior thought, winking to her soulmate, and I'll die without food.

Eventually, she rousted her companions and they made their way to the dining hall, searching for leftovers. By the time they finished their meal they were actually feeling good; far better than most of the warriors they met. For most of the villagers, the "day of celebration" functioned as a much-needed day of recuperation, during which adults moved slowly, and children were shushed. Many silently thanked their queen for her foresight in giving them the day off.

Varia, Cyane, and Gabrielle took advantage of their lightened duties as queens, to walk through the woods, and sit, chatting, on the eastern ridge overlooking the village. After a deep breath, Gabrielle managed to relate the heartbreaking events of Japa. She even gave a brief demonstration with the katana that she'd brought back. Varia in particular was curious about the unusual sword. She was particularly impressed with the speed of the blade when Gabrielle handled it with both hands.

"No, it's not long or heavy," Gabrielle agreed, "but the samurai handle these swords with two hands, and the killing is so fast. Sometimes they'd freeze after an exchange, and I wouldn't know which one had been killed until one of them fell over."

"That's pretty disturbing," Varia agreed, "but the blade's so light it could probably be knocked aside by a broadsword."

"Maybe," Gabrielle responded, "but I think that what's really the most disturbing about these blades is the steel. It's almost like the metal of Hephaestus."

Here, she demonstrated by easily slicing through a four-inch tree trunk. Varia's eyes widened, and she moved to examine the cut wood, finding it smoothly severed. Such a cut could only come from an edge honed finer than any she'd ever imagined. It was profoundly disturbing. An arm or leg could be lopped off with little effort. Tartarus, she thought, a person could probably be cut in half. She sat back down and looked more closely at the blade, as Gabrielle carefully wiped off the tree sap.

"Xena told me, that when she came to fight the smith for this katana, the first thing he did was cut the blade off her sword."

"No way!" Varia exclaimed in disbelief. The katana just didn't have the mass to break the blade from a broadsword. She drew her own sword, and held it up, doubtfully comparing the blades. "Gabrielle, that sword may be sharp, but it doesn't have the mass to snap off an Amazon blade, let alone this blade I got from Ares."

"Varia, I hate to say it, but most of these swords would cleave an Amazon blade. Xena didn't even think the chakram could break it. This particular sword is better than almost all of them. It's deadly in both the mortal and immortal realms. Xena used it to destroy an evil spirit…after she was dead. She took it from my hand before her final battle, but when I'd tried to give her back the chakram her hand passed right through it. When I came back to Higuchi with it, the warriors there were bowing to the sword."

Varia and Cyane had both listened to her in amazement. They'd seen the chakram take the blades off enemies' swords when Xena had flung it. Varia was looking at the blade with renewed wonder. If what Gabrielle claimed was true, then it could be a god killer. A weapon capable of slaying the spirit of an immortal, like the Dagger of Helios or the Chakram of Light, would destroy that which animates a god's flesh. Meanwhile, Cyane was imagining Gabrielle's description of the Samurai warriors bowing to their weapons.

"Japa must have been such a weird place," Cyane muttered, "I can hardly believe it."

To Gabrielle, it was another instance in which her travels had widened her experience beyond anything her friends could imagine. For a moment she felt a twinge of sadness. There had only been one person who had understood or seen the things she'd witnessed, and she was dead. She imagined how naive she must have seemed to Xena, when she'd first talked her way into the ex-warlord's life. Varia and Cyane had seen way more of the world than she had when she'd left Potidaea, and yet they seemed provincial to her now.

She stood and walked a few paces away, stopping to gaze down at the wooded valley that held the Amazon village. Slender wisps of smoke rose like gentle ghosts from the ruddy glow of the evening cook fires below. Figures moved with comfortable familiarity in their accustomed surroundings. A peaceful sense of rightness suffused the valley in all its details. It offered a home to which she knew she couldn't belong.

"It's true," she whispered, "there can be no going back."

No one would ever expect you to go backwards, Xena said sympathetically, as she stood beside her soulmate, unseen by their friends, and everything around you looks different because you see it with different eyes. Gabrielle, there are very few people who have seen the range of things you have, and none who have seen them with your heart. Even I saw things differently when you showed them to me.

"Xena, I don't think there's anyplace in this world where I belong."

Sure there is, Gabrielle, the Warrior Princess optimistically declared. The place that will feel like home to you is the place you'll need to be to grow. It'll be a place where you'll be forced to move forward again and where you'll be happy to do so.

"I can't stay here…"

No, you can't, Xena agreed, you've got so much more to do.

"Huh? What do you mean?" But even as she asked, she saw that the ghost had gone.

"I think we'd better get back," Cyane said, joining Gabrielle and looking down on the village of her people, "the sun has already set." After a moment, she continued with a sigh, "I love this view in the evenings. Though it's so far from where I grew up, it's my home now and these are my people."

"I'm happy for you, Cyane," Gabrielle said sincerely, "having a home is important. I guess I've traveled so much that I long for that."

"Why don't you stay with us, Gabrielle?" Cyane offered hopefully. "Everyone here loves you and we could learn so much from you."

"Yes," Varia agreed, "you've spent so long traveling, but now that Xena's gone, wouldn't you like to settle down for a while? You are a queen of the Amazons. It would be a natural choice for your new home."

The warrior sighed. It would be so easy to accept their offer and stay. She knew the Amazons would welcome her, and it was true that she knew many things that would help the nation. Still, she also knew her heart wasn't in it and she would soon feel trapped.

"I don't think it's the right time for that," she finally told her friends. "I still have to find something to make myself complete…especially now that Xena's dead. I don't even know what it is, but I know I can't settle down or make a home until I find it. Maybe after I do, I'll come back to stay. Your offer means a lot to me, and the Amazons are my people, but I'm just not ready yet."

…not ready yet. It was ironic. Gabrielle had received her Right of Caste decades ago from the dying Princess Terries, the sister of Queen Melosa. As Melosa's successor, she had overcome a challenge by Melosa's adopted daughter, the mad goddess Valesca, but she had chosen to accompany Xena rather than stay to rule her tribe. Queen Varia was the chosen successor of Queen Marga, who had followed Queen Chilapa, Gabrielle's appointed successor to her own regent, Queen Ephiny. It was the same in the northern tribe of Queen Cyane, for Gabrielle had ruled there as well almost thirty years before. In the scheme of things, Queen Gabrielle's seniority encompassed four generations of leadership. By traditional law, she was the rightful High Queen of all the remaining Amazons. She could have claimed not only a home, but the rule of the Amazon Nation as well.

Varia and Cyane regarded her in silence, digesting her words. They understood Gabrielle's need to find a new focus for her life following Xena's death. On the other hand, they worried about their friend, aimlessly wandering the known world, looking for something she might never find…because it might not exist. She had always tended to find trouble, and she had always been something of a dreamer.

The truth was that she'd always been a bit of a mystery too, she and Xena both. They were apt to come out of nowhere, with their own interpretations of things, upsetting the nation and bringing change. Amazon traditions were strong. Had the two not been so sincere in their desire to help, they would never have been tolerated. Neither of them had been born to the nation, and yet each had become a warrior of the nation. Gabrielle had been as unlikely a woman as any to become an Amazon at all, let alone a queen. If any woman should have been born an Amazon, it was Xena, and though she had once defeated Queen Melosa herself in a challenge, she had refused to join the nation as a sister. She had known their ways, embodied their ideals, and even practiced their magick. In the lives of Gabrielle and Xena, Varia and Cyane perceived the influence of the Fates and perhaps something even greater.

Without trading a word, the two queens acknowledged that Gabrielle would follow her own path, intersecting theirs from time to time, but probably never permanently. Her destiny lay beyond the nation, entwined with that of gods, foreigners, and the Warrior Princess. Soon, she would leave them again.

Gabrielle left three days later, having borrowed a horse and replenished her supplies. She rode from the Amazon village, leaving in the first candlemark of daylight, and following the forest road north to the borders. Even after she passed the stream that marked the limit of the Amazon lands, the way was familiar. She had walked and ridden here many times through the years with the Warrior Princess.

They were sad to see you go, but they understood that you couldn't stay.

"I wish I could have stayed and felt content, Xena. Of all the places we went, it was the most tempting place to think of as a home someday. I remember wanting to settle with the northern Amazons so we could raise Eve."

Maybe someday you will settle there, Gabrielle. At least you'll always be welcome.

"I know, and it means a lot to me. It's just not what I need right now."

It would be nearly two decades before she would return.

The warrior and her soulmate's ghost fell back into the routine of traveling and camping. They had done it for years. During the days it was often so comfortable and familiar, that to Gabrielle, it seemed like things were the same as they had always been. It was during the nights that the changes became too great to ignore. As darkness fell each night, she was alone. It was in the dark that she knew something was missing in her life, and that the life she had known was irretrievably gone.