Vows of the Heart

~ Vows of the Heart ~
by Alex Tryst
Copyright August 2004

This tale follows "Love in Photographs", "Georgia on My Mind", and "Stick to the Script". This is the fourth and final story in the New York Series.

As always, comments and feedback is welcome at alextryst@hotmail.com.

Part 2

Torrance's plane landed in New York around mid-day after three weeks away in New Orleans. Knowing that it would be difficult for Helen to bring both children to there to meet her, the photographer had arranged for her grandmother's chauffeur to pick her up and take her home. As she expected, he was standing by the baggage claim waiting on her when she got there.

"James, good to see you. How have you been?" she inquired with a pleasant smile.

"I've been good, Ms. Whitfield. How are you?"

"Wonderful. I'm so glad to be back. Three weeks away from Helen is too long," she teased, moving to retrieve her luggage off the conveyor belt. James took one of her bags while she took the other two.

"The limo is just outside," he stated turning to lead the way.

The ride back to the house was quiet between them. The photographer's thoughts were on her family and how soon she'd be able to see them. However, when they pulled up to Torrance and Helen's estate, the woman was surprised to see her in-law's car sitting in the driveway. James helped her put her luggage in the foyer of the house before leaving her.

"Hello? Anyone home?" she called out, moving through the living room. She heard her kids talking with her father-in-law in the kitchen. "Hello," she said, stepping in the room.

"Mom! You're back," John said.

"Hi, Mom," Marta added as she hugged them both.

Looking at her Helen's father, Torrance smiled. "Hi, John. What are you doing here?" she asked as she moved to hug him. She noticed that he only gave her a half-hearted one in return.

"You don't know what I'm doing here?" he asked.

"No clue, although you're always welcome. Don't get me wrong," she mentioned with a grin.

John looked down at his grandchildren. "You two stay here and finish your lunch. I'll be right back," he told them before motioning that Torrance follow him. Both of them moved to the dining room for privacy.

"John, what's going on?" she inquired, seeing the seriousness in eyes.

"You tell me, Torrance," he stated, crossing his arms across his chest. She looked at him in confusion. When neither said anything for a minute, he assessed, "You really don't know."

"No. Enlighten me."

"Helen called us a two days ago. She was having complications with the baby. We of course rushed here, but we were too late. Helen miscarried yesterday, Torrance," he softly explained.

Torrance's heart sank. "Oh, God and I wasn't here," she mumbled as tears wet her eyes.

"Why would you be?" he questioned.

The brunette quirked her brow at him in confusion again. "Excuse me? What does that mean?"

"Well, you and Helen are separated," he stated as if it was obvious.

"Separated? Helen and I aren't separated. Who in the world told you such a thing, John? I would never leave Helen." He just looked at the floor in silence instead of answering her question. It took the photographer a minute before she asked, "Did Helen say that to you?"

Feebly he replied, "I thought it was common knowledge. I didn't realize she hadn't said anything to you."

"Helen's leaving me? Why? Did she give you a reason? I mean, what brought this on?" Torrance inquired in panic. The thought of ever losing the woman she loved was hard to wrap her mind around.

"She didn't give us a reason, but she was quite upset over something, and it's more than just the baby. I can tell you that much. Torrance, I don't know what it is, but it can't be so terrible it breaks up everything you've made together. I know the love you share is strong, so I don't know what on earth could move her to such an action unless..."

"Unless?"

"Unless there was another woman," he supplied.

"Is there? Did she say if she was seeing someone else?" Torrance frantically asked.

"I was actually referring to you. Is there someone else in your life, Torrance?"

"No. I would never do that to Helen."

"Then I don't know," he said sadly. "All I know is that she's shattered, and I can't do anything to help her."

"Where is she? I need to get to the bottom of this."

"Upstairs in her room," he responded. Torrance turned to go, but he stopped her. "Torrance, please help her. I know she still loves you regardless of what's gone wrong."

The forty-year-old ran up the stairs to the master bedroom. Barging in she immediately saw her wife sitting on their balcony overlooking the water in the distance. Just by the way she was sitting, the slump of her shoulders and slightly bowed head, Torrance could tell the blonde was upset. Quietly she walked to where her beloved was sitting. Standing behind her, she placed a comforting hand on the little woman's shoulder.

She was met with a cold retort to the gesture. "Don't touch me, Torrance."

Taking her hand away, the older woman walked over to the balcony edge and then turned to face the blonde. "I know you're upset about losing the baby. I'm terribly sorry I wasn't here when it happened. Had you called me I would have been on the first flight I could get. I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain," she whispered gently.

Puffy, red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes finally met hers. Helen's entire face was wet from her mourning. Her physical and emotional pain was obvious. Unable to stay away, Torrance moved closer and knelt at her side. She put her hand on her wife's knee. Angrily the younger woman knocked it off, screaming, "I said don't touch me!"

Torrance swallowed hard at the rage directed at her. She knew Helen had it in her to have outbursts like the one see was witnessing but such furors were rare and only when Torrance had utterly messed up in a way that was hurtful to the younger woman. Deciding to confront the issue John had brought to light, she asked tentatively, "So, is what I hear from your father true? Are you leaving me?"

"You left me first!" she snapped.

"Helen, I had to go to New Orleans, or they were going to throw me in jail. I had no choice. I hated every moment that I was apart from you and the kids, but nothing could be done about it," she countered.

"Not New Orleans, Torrance! I'm talking about Georgia! I'm talking about what you did with her while you were down there!"

"What did I do?" the brunette asked unaware of any wrongness on her part.

"You know what you did! You slept with her! And you took those pornographic photos of her!"

"You found the photos," Torrance mumbled, suddenly understanding what was going on with her wife.

"Our children found the photos, Torrance! How could you? How could she?"

"Helen, I know you're angry, but I promise you that neither of us were unfaithful to you or Blake."

"How can you say that? The evidence was right there in black and white! She was naked, Torrance!"

"Yes, she was. I'll concede that. I saw Georgia naked but not for the reason you think. She asked me to take some risque pictures of her to give to Blake as a present. They aren't for me. I didn't sleep with Georgia. I didn't kiss Georgia. I didn't even lay a hand on her," she adamantly stated.

Helen looked at her wife, desperately wanting to believe what she was saying. Torrance was emphatic in her innocence, but the photographer's green eyes told the whole story. Helen saw there was more that she wasn't saying. Hazarding a guess, Helen questioned, "But you wanted to, didn't you?"

The older woman sighed and broke their gaze. "Helen, Georgia is an attractive woman. We were alone. She was naked and giving me her best gazes for the camera. If I weren't already married to the most wonderful perfect woman in the world and Georgia married to my best friend, then maybe I would have tried to pursue something, but the fact of the matter is I am joyously, blissfully wed to you. You are my life, Helen Melbourne Whitfield. You always have been since the day we met. I couldn't go on if I ever lost you, so I would never do anything to jeopardize what I hold so dear." Pausing a moment, Torrance once again tried to touch the woman she loved. Her hands went to Helen's knees and rested there tentatively, waiting for any sign of rejection. None came. "Helen, please let me stay with you. Don't ruin what we've made with fallacious insecurities. Please let me stay and love you and our children with everything that I have."

Helen didn't answer her, but Torrance knew everything was all right when the blonde leaned in closer and began to sob uncontrollably. Dutifully the older woman wrapped her in consoling arms. The fair head snuck into the crook of Torrance's neck. Tears streamed down both their faces. There was so much pain emitting from the smaller woman.

"I'm sorry, Torrance. I love you," Helen whispered, clutching the strong woman closer.

"I'm sorry too, Helen. I love you more than life itself." After a moment she suggested, "Let me take you to bed, Helen. You'll be more comfortable there." The blonde nodded, so the older woman eased her wife out of her chair. She saw Helen wince and heard her gasp as pain racked her midsection at the movement. Slowly Torrance escorted her into the bedroom and guided her down onto the bed. Careful not to move jar it any more than necessary, Torrance slipped onto it and wrapped her arms around her wife again.

"Torrance, I told Blake," Helen whispered in tears.

"You told Blake what?"

"That you slept with Georgia. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, but I was so upset when I went to file for divorce."

"I'll fix it. Don't your pretty head about that. I'll fix things with Blake. Just rest now."

Neither spoke any more, but words were no longer required. All that mattered was they were once again all right. In time they would move beyond their pain of losing a baby and almost each other. A little later Torrance was roused from sleep by the sound of quiet knocking on the bedroom door. However, before she could respond, it opened, and Helen's mother, Diane, poked her head into the room.

"Oh, Torrance. I didn't realize you were here," she stated cooly.

"Yeah. I got back a little while ago."

"Are you sure it's a good idea that you're here?" Diane questioned, looking at her daughter who was still sleeping.

"Well, I do live here, Diane, and Helen needs me. I don't think there is any other place I should be."

"But I thought you two were no longer together."

"We talked that through. Helen's changed her mind."

"I see. Well, as long as she's happy, I suppose that's what matters most."

Torrance nodded in her mother-in-law's direction. Over the years she and Diane had traveled a rocky path. At the beginning she had been adamantly against Torrance and Helen's relationship, but once they were married and began having children, Diane had conceded Torrance wasn't leaving. They had formed a tentative relationship with each other, and it was in moments when Helen seemed unhappy that Diane always blamed the photographer for her child's misery. Torrance could tell that Diane was surprised at the quick revitalizing the photographer had performed to save what seemed to be the end of Helen and Torrance's marriage. "I make her happiest, Diane, and I would never do anything to endanger that. She and I just had something to work out, and we did, so now we can focus on what really matters."

"Still those pictures sounded horrific," she countered.

"How did you know about those?"

"Helen told me of course."

Torrance nodded. "Well, I am a photographer, Diane. That's what I do, like it or not. Now it's been settled between Helen and me, which means it's over. We both just want to move forward," she stated, having no doubt that Diane could have helped Helen form such a appalling opinion about the photographer's activities. She knew the woman's past behavior.

Diane just gave a curt nod. "Well, I just wanted to check on her, but it appears as if you have things under control. I'll just leave you two alone." With that she turned and closed the door.

The rest of the day Torrance and Helen stayed locked up in their room together. The blonde was so fragile, emotionally and physically that the photographer didn't want to leave her side, especially since she knew John and Diane would watch over Marta and John. Helen was thankful to have Torrance there with her. Even though she didn't talk about the miscarriage, she knew her wife understood everything through the silence. Everything she had wanted had been stripped away, and she was too immobilized with heart-wrenching pain to even begin to express her sorrow.

However when morning came, the younger woman knew that Torrance had to smooth things over with Blake as soon as possible, because she realized she had done great damage to the attorney with her false statements against Georgia. After they dressed for the day and had made their way downstairs, the former teacher said, "Torrance, I think you should go see Blake today. I don't think you'll be able to talk to her on the phone. Somehow I know I hurt her."

"You're probably right. Do me a favor. Just in case she is angry at me, you call her and see where she's going to be today, and then I'll go over. I don't want her to avoid me."

Helen nodded in agreement and then went to make the call. She returned to the table where her family was waiting. "She's going to be at home today. Cindy has the kids, so she's catching up on work."

"All right. I'll head over after this. Everything will be fine, Helen. You'll see," Torrance assured her, seeing the sadness in her wife's eyes. "And when I get back, if you're feeling better we can all go out and do something."

"Okay. We'll see."

Blake was sitting in her office that morning trying to work on some cases, but her thoughts kept straying to Georgia. Giving in to her need to see the woman she loved, she pulled out the stack of photographs that had been sent to her. Leisurely she looked at each one. There was her Georgia posed in all the ways in which Blake saw her in dreams, sexy and uninhibited. However, the thought of her wife letting her best friend take the photos and being intimate with her was more than she thought she could bear. She was more shocked than anything that Torrance would risk losing the most perfect woman in the world for a round with the Southern firecracker. Nevertheless, Blake hurt for the indiscretion. She hurt for the fact her best friend had betrayed her, her best friend's wife was now suffering, and her own wife had abandoned her. Her musings were broken when she heard the doorbell. However, she decided to let Renee answer it and got back to work. A moment later, however, the nanny entered the office followed by Torrance. The two brunettes just looked at each other a moment in awkwardness before Renee excused herself.

"You have some nerve coming here," Blake said, standing from her chair and starting for the photographer.

Seeing the anger in her friend's eyes, Torrance tried to hold her at bay. Putting out her hand to keep the attorney out of her personal space, she warned, "You don't want to hurt me, Blake. It would be a mistake."

"Like hell it would," Blake grumbled. Nevertheless, she stopped just in front of her friend. "What do you want, Torrance?"

"I've come to right the wrong that's been done here, Blake, but you have to listen to me."

"Listen to you? I don't even want to look at you, Tor! All I really want to do is kill you for what you did to Helen and me!"

"Contrary to what Helen told you, I didn't fuck your wife, Blake. It was a misunderstanding. Please let me explain before you decide to try to rearrange my face," hurriedly Torrance stuttered, seeing that Blake was contemplating do just that.

The older woman stepped back a little at the declaration. "But Helen said you did. Why would she lie to me?"

"She didn't intentionally lie to you. She did honestly think I slept with Georgia, but it's not true. I took pictures of your wife naked. That much is true, but I didn't sleep with her. Those pictures were for your enjoyment only, Blake. They were a gift from Georgia to you. I was merely the photographer that she trusted enough to take them. There wasn't anything between us, Blake. It was strictly a professional thing for me. I didn't lay a hand on her. You have to believe that."

The attorney shook her head. "Helen believes that because she wants to, doesn't she?"

"Helen believes it, because it's the truth, Blake," countered Torrance.

Blake sighed deeply as she looked at her old friend. She wanted to believe Torrance as well. Moving back to the desk, the older woman picked up the stack of photos she had left on her desk. "These were a professional sitting?" she questioned, waving them at Torrance.

"As professional as I could be on short notice. We used what we had around the house. She trusted me enough, Blake. I take pictures of naked women all the time. Hell, I've taken nude photos of Sarah, and you don't hear Jamie complaining about it."

"I'm sure that was for a magazine, though. That's hardly the same." Looking down at the pictures, Blake mentioned, "She looks so different. This is not the way she normally looks at me, Tor. I haven't seen those eyes looking at me since the twins were born."

The photographer shrugged. "She said she wanted to give them to you as a gift to remember that she was still there. I thought I was doing her a favor."

Blake nodded. Looking back at her friend, she stated, "I believe you, Tor."

"Good. I was worried this might do permanent damage to you and Georgia."

Changing the subject slightly, the attorney mentioned, "Helen filed for a divorce from you. Did you know that?"

"Yeah. I know. Infidelity is the one thing Helen can't forgive, but since it's not true, she's not going to pursue that. She doesn't want that. She was just really upset. Between thinking Georgia and I had been intimate and losing the baby, I think it was just too much for her to bear."

"She was pregnant again?" Blake asked in surprised.

"Almost eight weeks."

"Oh, Tor, I'm so sorry."

The photographer shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe we just aren't meant to have a third child," she said softly.

Coming to her, the older brunette put her arms around her friend. "Don't give up if it's what you really want."

"It's what Helen wants." Blake nodded in understanding. "So, please tell me that this hasn't done permanent damage to you and Georgia. Helen was really concerned about that, and I want to be able to reassure her."

At the mention of her wife's name, Blake dropped her arms from Torrance's frame. She shook her head. "I wish I could reassure her as well, but the day Helen came to me about filing and she told me what she thought you and Georgia had done, I was so angry I filed too."

"But you can stop it. Don't make me have to tell Helen she caused you two to divorce. She couldn't bear that."

"She didn't cause it, Tor. You tell her as much. I could stop it, but the truth is, I'm not sure I want to," she said.

"What do you mean? Why not?"

"Tor, things haven't been the same since the twins were born. It's been a long road, and she just walked out on us."

"She was following her dreams, Blake. I thought that's what you wanted her to do."

"She could have followed them in New York. She has left us for New Orleans. She's been gone for almost two months, Tor. In all that time I've been here trying to raise our children. If it weren't for Renee, I don't think I could do it. I've needed help, and Georgia should be here. She's their mother. That's abandonment. She's my wife, and she's left me for what? Her freedom to do as she chooses. She made that choice, and now I need to make mine. I can't let her go on thinking I am going to stand by and let her run off whenever she wants. She has responsibilities to these children. She wanted them. I would have been satisfied had we not had any. I wasn't feeling empty without them, but she wanted them, so we had some. Now I love my children and couldn't imagine my life without them, but Georgia needs to face the fact she is also responsible for them. Not only that, Georgia married me, which means she has responsibilities to me as well. My wife is gone, Tor. I know you can imagine the horrible feeling it is."

The photographer nodded. "I suppose I can. However, there has to be another way. Do you want to remain married to her or not?"

"If she lives on my terms, then yes, but that means taking responsibility for the life she has created with our kids. I can deal with being ignored, but I can't deal with them being brushed aside, because she's too busy."

"Georgia's never lived on your terms, Blake. Why now?"

"Because she has to grow up! She's thirty years old! It's time she take our life together seriously or find another one to live!" she yelled as tears came to her eyes.

It was Torrance's turn to offer the comfort as she put her arms around Blake. "I'm sorry, Blake. I guess I didn't really think about it. I know I wouldn't be able to make it without Helen that long. It would be so difficult. I guess I just thought the time apart was helping the two of you sort through some things. She loves you, Blake. Shouldn't that be enough to make you want to fight to keep your marriage together?"

"Sometimes love isn't enough, Tor," the attorney whispered. "It was so different for us when we began dating. There was no pressure, no serious responsibilities to each other. We just wanted to be together because of the joy that it was to be so close. Now life has gotten in the way. If I could go back to the way it used to be, I would, but we can't. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not cut out for marriage. Commitment was never a strength of mine."

"I don't think you should do this, Blake, but it's not my place to say. It's your marriage and your life. I just want you to be happy."

Blake nodded her head. "Enough about my marriage disaster. I don't think I'm the only one headed for singleville."

"What are you talking about? I just told you Helen and I aren't getting a divorce."

"I'm talking about our young actresses."

"Jamie and Sarah?"

The attorney nodded in confirmation. "That would be a real shame though. They really do love each other. That's one I wish I could help with a lot more."

"What's going on with them outside of Katrina being a hellion?"

"I think that's enough, Tor. Apparently she's out of control."

"Did Jamie or Sarah say something to you?"

"I can't give you the details, because I was acting at their attorney at the time, but there is trouble brewing in that paradise, and it all has to do with Katrina."

Torrance shook her head. "I can't imagine having to deal with a child like that. We're so lucky our kids have the temperaments they do. What can we do to help them?"

"I don't know. I guess we just be the best friends we can to them," Blake answered.

Nodding her head in agreement, Torrance looked at the attorney. "I should get back. I know Helen is still really fragile. Are you going to be all right?"

"I'll be fine. Tell Helen she had nothing to do with this. It's been a long time in coming. Honestly, the thought of something like that happening didn't surprise me. It hurt, but the only thing that shocked me about it was that it was you. If she had said Georgia had been with some random person, it wouldn't have come as a surprise."

"Do you think she's having an affair down there?"

"You would know that better than anyone, Tor. What's she been like down there?"

The photographer thought a moment. Knowing her friend deserved the truth, she slowly answered, "She seemed happy to me, Blake. I don't think she is seeing anyone, but she did seem content. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You had nothing to do with it. I guess maybe she just doesn't want to live in New York any more. She could have said that instead of skipping town. No matter though. In just a few days those papers are going to be delivered to her, and then we'll see what happens."

Torrance nodded in understanding. "Well, I should go. Take care of yourself and your children, Blake. It's going to get tough but know that Helen and I are here for you."

"Thanks. Kiss Helen for me."

When the photographer left, Blake wandered into the living room where Renee was sitting reading. The nanny looked up at her. "Did things go all right?"

Blake nodded. "Yeah. Tor and I are fine. Turns out she didn't sleep with Georgia contrary to what Helen thought. That makes me feel better. I didn't want to believe that."

"Well, I'm glad you got it straightened out then. She seemed like such a good friend."

"She is." After a brief pause, the brunette said, "Renee, I think I should tell you something. I filed for divorce and custody of the children. Georgia hasn't been served her papers yet, but it should happen any day now. Things are going to get complicated around here. I just want you to know that I have full faith in your abilities and intend to keep you on as long as you would like to stay, but it's going to be difficult for awhile."

"I understand. I'm sorry that it's come to this with you and Georgia, but sometimes things just don't work out the way we hope."

Blake nodded. "Look. I have some more work to do, but if you're not doing anything this evening, I'd like to go out. Would you care to join me? Cindy will have the kids until tomorrow."

"Sure. That sounds nice. I hadn't planned anything yet. Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere where I can forget about things for awhile."

"How about a movie?"

"That sounds good. You pick it."

That night Blake and Renee took in a movie after a dinner at home, which Renee prepared. During the whole film, the attorney kept thinking about the woman at her side. The young woman was always such a pleasure to be with that Blake continuously wanted to seek her out for time. The attorney knew she was lonely with Georgia being away, and when she had been there, there hadn't been much in the way of intimacy, even if it was just quietly talking together alone. She missed those things with a woman, and she easily found them in her employee.

After the movie, the blonde convinced the older woman that the night was too young to go home, so the two of them went to one of the local bars for drinks and pool. Blake was more than happy to go along, not wanting the evening to end either. At the bar they easily made new friends with the other pool players and ended up playing as a team against some other women in the club. Turning on her charm, the attorney found it easy to be the center of women's attention in the mainly female crowd. Sitting alone at a table near the pool area waiting for another game to begin, Blake waited on Renee to return from the bar with a round of drinks. She was minding her own business as she watched a game in progress when a cute redhead approached the table. Easily and quickly the attorney engaged her in conversation.

However a few minutes later her charm was interrupted by the nanny's voice. "Who are we entertaining, honey?" she questioned teasingly putting the drinks on the table and sliding into Blake's lap. "I'm Renee, Blake's girlfriend," she introduced, extending her hand.

Quickly the other woman escaped, leaving a chuckling attorney behind. "What was that about?" she asked Renee.

"Hey. You came with me, and you're not leaving with anyone else," she bantered laughingly, her hazel eyes sparkling.

"If you say so," the brunette conceded with a grin as her arms came around the little woman. The twenty-five year old felt good against her. Renee didn't try to pull away. Instead she settled herself in the attorney's lap. Together they watched several other people play for awhile, but the older woman's mind was focused on the feeling of Renee's frame against her own. Her libido began to awaken as the tiny body shifted against her every few minutes. Instinctively her left hand found the nanny's khaki shorts-clad leg. Renee's skin was soft to the touch. Blake heard the small woman give a quick, uneven exhale as her fingers grazed lightly. Blake leaned her body in closer, so it was pressed against the blonde's back and let her head rest on Renee's shoulder. They sat in silence still, but the petite woman's body was giving louder signals than words ever could. She was enjoying the older woman's attentions. The attorney could feel the nanny's hands on her thighs, squeezing them a little harder whenever her roaming went higher than it had moments before. Finally the blonde turned to look over her shoulder at her. Blake had never seen the gaze now in those hazel eyes. They seemed like a mix of lust and arousal. Taking advantage of the situation, the taller woman let her own needs guide her. Leaning into the blonde's ear, her breath swept over Renee's neck softly as she whispered, "What is it, Renee?"

The small woman quivered lightly in her arms. "I...I want..." she tried to say, but her voice failed her.

However Blake knew what she was saying. "I know. I want it too, but it would ruin everything."

Renee nodded shakily. Blake's hands didn't cease though, even at her own words. The nanny shifted herself in the attorney's lap, so they were facing each other completely. Hazel eyes met brown. "It would ruin everything," Renee repeated softly as her hands found dark hair. Her fingers combed through it. Her hips instinctively searched for the attorney's. Both of them moaned breathlessly as they came together.

"I'm married," Blake uttered desperately.

"Not any more," the nanny countered.

"Right," Blake stuttered as the small woman's perfume invaded her senses when her nose traveled further into her neck. "We can't though. You work for me."

"Just once. I just want one..."

"One what?" the forty-two-year-old questioned. Both of them had let her hands start roaming more freely.

"One kiss," Renee whispered. Before she hardly even finished her request, their mouths came together roughly. Renee moaned pulling Blake closer. The attorney growled as the touch awakened her senses even more. When it broke she immediately moved her lips to the blonde's neck. "God, Blake. I've thought about this for so long," she admitted.

"Thought about what?" the older woman spurred, wondering what the younger woman's fantasies entailed. She loved that she was a part of them.

"Having you for one night, you touching me, making me come over and over again," she groaned, clutching tighter as the brunette's teeth scraped against the pulse in her neck.

"I bet you feel good from the inside," the older woman murmured sexily.

"Find out just how good. Take me home," Renee requested.

Without another word the attorney stood, gently placing the nanny on her feet. Taking the younger woman's hand, she led her out of the bar to the street to hail a cab. As soon at the older woman gave the driver the address, Renee slid over to her to continue what had started in the bar. Quickly Blake pulled her into her lap again and attacked her fair neck with kisses. However, the nanny didn't seem to be satisfied with that. Instead she took Blake's hands and guided them to her covered breasts.

"Touch me, Blake," she demanded. "Feel how hot I am for you."

The attorney groaned as she worked open the buttons of Renee's top. Her right hand squirmed its way between the folds and popped the front clasp of her bra. Within seconds her hand was filled with warm flesh. Both women gasped in rising need. Risking a look down at the younger woman's body, the tall one saw the pale pink tips hardening even more as moments passed under her ministration. Renee took Blake's left hand and began to kiss and suck each finger in turn provocatively. Blake moaned. When the blonde's mouth reached her finger ring, the attorney watched in fascination as Renee managed to work her wedding band off with only her teeth.

"You won't be needing this any more," the twenty-five-year-old stated, tucking it into the attorney's pants pocket for safekeeping before their mouths connected again.

Just as they kissed, the driver slammed on his brakes in traffic. Blake glared at him through the rearview mirror. "Don't kill us now. We'd like to make it home," she growled.

When Renee giggled, Blake met her eyes. "So strong," her employee whispered before leaning into the attorney's neck to reciprocate some of the attention she had already received. Biting the brunette's earlobe, Renee uttered, "God, you're sexy. You make me so wet, Blake. Touch me. I'm dripping at the thought of you. I want you to fuck me like no one ever has."

Blake groaned. She didn't take Renee's word for it. Instead her right hand dropped to the little woman's shorts and quickly opened the zipper. Sliding into them she realized the nanny wasn't lying to her about her arousal. However, before she could go any further, the cab driver announced their arrival. Quickly the attorney paid him and ushered Renee out of the car. They both greeted their building's doorman hurriedly before rushing through the doors to the elevator. Neither said anything, but thick sensuality charged the air around them. Once in the elevator alone, Blake moved toward her wrapping her in strong arms. Renee looked up but said nothing. Mutually their lips came together in a soft exchange. It was only broken when the doors opened on their floor. Going down the hall to their door, Blake unlocked it and escorted the younger woman inside. They slowly made their way to the master bedroom. Both of them suddenly seemed aware of what was really about to happen as they lingered in the doorway a moment.

"Renee," Blake whispered.

"Yes?"

"You are a beautiful woman," she began, brushing the blonde's cheek affectionately.

"But?" hesitantly the nanny asked.

"But I'm not sure this is a good idea. I'm old enough to be your mother, but more importantly, just because Georgia and I are getting a divorce doesn't mean I don't love her still. I do love her, and it's going to take some time I think before I'm ready to move on completely. Most importantly, however, is that you work for me, and if we did this, I don't see how we could go on that way. How could I have one night with you and then be forced to watch as you go off with women almost half my age? I can't compete with that," she said gently, hoping that by putting a spin on her feelings, Renee wouldn't feel hurt by the rejection she was giving. "I'd much prefer to take things slowly."

The blonde nodded. "I guess I never thought about it that way. I wouldn't want to hurt you after all you're already going through."

"I appreciate that more than you know, Renee," Blake said with a small smile, seeing that the nanny had bought her story. "For now though, I'd like to invite you in but only if you promise to keep me on my best behavior no matter how much I might resist," teasingly she requested.

The small woman nodded. "Of course. I'll fend off all your advances."

"Will you stay with me tonight and just let me enjoy your company?"

"Of course."

"Thank you," the tall woman whispered.

"Let me just change for bed. I'll be back in a few minutes." Less than ten minutes later both women were in the master bedroom. Blake was in bed reading as Renee simply watched television for awhile. However when both of them tired, the younger woman let Blake hold her as they fell into dreams.

The next morning the attorney awoke to sound in the condo. Opening her eyes she realized that Renee was still asleep clutching tightly to her. Just then there was a knock on the bedroom door before Cindy's voice could be heard through it asking, "Blake, are you home?" Before the attorney could answer, however, the door came open, and Georgia's mother entered.

Cindy and Blake just looked at each other for a moment, each of them in shock. "You're early," feebly the brunette stated.

Cindy's eyes went from her daughter-in-law's to the nanny's sleeping form. "This certainly complicates things," she stated

"Cindy, it's not what you think," Blake explained.

Her mother-in-law merely quirked her blonde brow in much the same way Georgia did. "I ain't buyin' that, Blake."

"All right. Maybe it is exactly what you think but not for the reasons you think it. I'm not cheating on Georgia."

"This is cheatin' in my book."

"Cindy, I haven't told Georgia this, but we're getting a divorce. I filed earlier this week. She's going to be served any day now. It's over, Cindy. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but Renee and I are just friends, contrary to what this looks like."

Cindy just stood in silence a moment looking at the two women in bed together. Instead of commenting on Blake's declaration, she merely stated, "I'll watch the kids while you get dressed, but I need to get goin' soon. I've got to get down to the restaurant."

"Of course. I'll be right out. Thanks, Cindy."

A little later Georgia was sitting in the living room of her New Orleans house overlooking the street in contemplative silence when the phone rang. Slowly getting up to answer it, she mumbled a greeting to the caller. "Hello."

"Baby girl, you've got a problem," Cindy announced without even a salutation.

"I know, Mama," she whispered looking down at the papers in her hand. They had just been delivered a few minutes ago. "Blake's asked for a divorce."

"No doubt thanks to that woman livin' there," Cindy quipped.

"Renee? What does this have to do with her?"

"I found your wife in bed with her this mornin', sugar. She's left you for a younger piece of ass. You better get up here and take back what's your before it's too late. She's gonna leave you with nothin'."

Georgia shook her head in disbelief. She knew she and Blake were having problems, but she never thought it would actually come to this. "Mama, I don't know if I cain change her mind."

"You've got to try, baby girl. Do you want her to take everythin' from you? Your house, your children, your friends, and your money? She cain take it all."

"You sound as if I only married Blake for those reasons. Well, I didn't, Mama. I married Blake, because I loved her."

"Well, if you still love her, you better get yourself back up here and fight."

"I don't want to fight, Mama. Blake and I have had our problems, but I never thought she'd do this. We'll work everythin' out regardin' everthin'. She'll be amiable, I'm sure. I don't care 'bout much except the kids. She cain keep everythin' else if she really wants too. I just want us to be happy. I wish she would still want me, but she don't."

"Georgia, you listen to me, and you listen good. You cain have Blake back if you want her. This ain't over yet, but you've got to come home."

Georgia looked around her rented house for a moment before she mumbled, "I am home, Mama. This is where I belong. New York ain't the place for me anymore. You and Jack and Blake all do well up there, but I've been missin' the southern way of life. Nawlins is the place for me to be."

"So, that's it? You're just gonna leave your family, your life behind?"

"It was never my life, Mama. It's was Blake's. I was livin' her dreams. It's time for me to live my own, and I want to do it here. I wish Blake and the kids were with me, but they ain't. However, I'll get the kids. I guess I'll have to live without Blake," she whispered as tears rolled down her face.

"Georgia, how cain you willingly just give up on the woman you love?" Cindy asked in disbelief.

"Because she gave up on me first, Mama," the writer sobbed. "I don't want to stand in the way of Blake's happiness. I love her that much, but I also want my own life. Now I've got to go. I need to find an attorney down here to help with this. I'll be back in New York in a few days to get my stuff."

Cindy gave a long sigh. "Georgia, don't make this decision so quickly. Take a few days. You know where I am if you need me."

"I know. Thanks, Mama."

*****************************************************************

That morning Jamie and Sarah were up early with Stephen having breakfast before their two daughters awoke for the day. Neither woman really said anything to each other as they just read their respective sections of the paper. However, every few minutes the brunette's eyes would seek out her wife across the table. Sarah kept her head down as she merely pushed her food around her plate. The older woman could tell the blonde was exhausted. Trying to placate the smaller woman, Jamie suggested, "Why don't you go out and have some fun today? I know you could use a break. I'll stay with the kids."

Sarah shrugged her shoulders. "Helen's sick, and Georgia's gone."

"Well, what about Tabitha? Is she in town?"

"I don't know."

Scrunching her brown, the brunette reached across the table for her wife's hand. "What's wrong, Sarah?"

"I'm just tired, Jamie. I'm leaving for a film shoot tomorrow, and it's going to be hard to be without all of you. I'm not exactly thrilled about going."

The tall actress nodded her head. She understood the feeling well. "I see. It's a great project though. We're going to come visit you too. Besides, you'll be so busy that you won't even have time to miss us," she teased, trying to lighten the younger woman's spirits.

"I always miss you, Jamie, but maybe this time away will do me some good. I need a chance to regroup when it comes to Katrina."

"Yeah. Hopefully by the time you get back I'll have found someone who will see her. I haven't liked any of the psychologists I've talked to so far. Her school counselor suggested someone, so I'm going to try there next."

"I hope you find someone soon. She's driving me crazy," the blonde stated.

"I know. Samantha suggested that maybe Katrina come live with them again for the rest of the summer. I know they're trying to help, but I don't know how I feel about that."

Sarah gave a small nod. Thinking about the conversation she had with Blake previously, she wondered if she should bring it up now. Deciding there was no point in waiting, she softly said, "About Samantha and Doug, there is something I wanted to ask you."

"What's that?"

"Do you think it would be easier for us to control Katrina if you had full custody of her? I mean having all four of us trying to raise her has got to be confusing. What if you had full custody or we had joint custody?"

"We do have joint custody already," the brunette countered.

"No, you have joint custody with Samantha and Doug. I mean you and me having joint custody like with Eve and Stephen," she proposed.

Jamie looked at Sarah intently for a moment before asking, "Do you realize what you're suggesting? You're asking me to take Samantha and Doug to court. You're asking me to take Stephanie's sister, a woman that I care about deeply, into court to take custody from her."

"I know, Jamie," Sarah replied hesitantly.

The brunette shook her head adamantly. "I won't do it, Sarah. Samantha and Doug are family. They have taken care of Katrina and me in the worst of times. I can't yank everything that we've all known out from under them just because you and Katrina are going through a hard phase in your relationship. I can't do that to Samantha."

"Jamie, just please think about this. I'm sure Samantha would understand why we wanted it this way."

Again the older woman shook her head. "No, Sarah," she announced more firmly. "I refuse, and there is nothing you can do to change my mind. Samantha and Doug are keeping partial custody of Katrina, and that's final."

"There is nothing that will change your mind?" the blonde questioned as the tall woman rose from the table with her plate.

"Nothing comes to mind, Sarah. Look. I know this is hard on you, and I wish I could do something for you both, but it's going to take some time and effort on our part. I think it would be counterproductive and end up hurting her even more if she saw Samantha and me fighting. Katrina needs a harmonious household, not her mother and aunt squabbling over custody. You're just asking me to do something so terribly wrong in regards to my relationship with Samantha."

"Well, what about your other two children, Jamie? Eve looks to Katrina, and I don't like what she sees. Katrina is setting a poor example for her, and I won't let my child follow in those footsteps," the blonde stated in frustration as she too rose from the table with Stephen attached to her hip.

Jamie felt her own anger surface at the way Sarah had claimed Eve. "Your child, Sarah? Eve is your child? I have just as much parental rights and responsibilities for her as you do! The state of New York sees me as her second parent!"

"Yeah, well, the state of New York sees you and Samantha as Katrina's! Where am I in that picture, huh? Tell me! You want to know why Katrina doesn't listen to me? It's because she doesn't see me as a mother! First it was Stephanie, and now she sees you and Samantha! Yes, it's tragic she lost her mother, but you're her mother as well, and I'm your wife! How would you feel if Robert still had partial custody of Eve? How would that make you feel to know you were on the outside, Jamie?"

"You're not on the outside, Sarah! You live with her for goodness sake! You are with her more than anyone else, me included! You have more of an opportunity with her than any of us! You don't need custody of her! I won't take that from Samantha, and that's the end of it!"

The blonde woman rolled her eyes in frustration. "You know what, Jamie? I think I am going to go out today. Obviously you won't see reason on this. I need some time away. You take care of the kids for the day. I'm going shopping," she declared, thrusting their son in the older woman's direction.

Jamie took Stephen into her arms and sighed as Sarah made her exit from the room. She knew that Sarah was upset and hurt by Katrina's rejection, but she wasn't quite sure what to do to help her. However, she did know she couldn't take Katrina away from Samantha and Doug. Her late wife's sister and brother-in-law meant too much to her to drag them into an unnecessary confrontation.

Later that morning once all three kids were up, Jamie took them over to Samantha and Doug's place for some family time. As always Samantha was more than happy to take all of them in to share in the day's activities. Since Doug was working that day, the two women decided to take the five kids swimming at the country club on the island to which they all belonged.

Sitting in the kiddie pool with Stephen on her lap, Jamie watched on as Eve splashed around near Samantha and her. The brunette was off in deep thought when her former sister-in-law's voice asked, "Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you?"

The actress shrugged. "Sarah and I just got into an argument this morning. She asked me to do something that I simply refuse to do, and she got upset. It'll pass."

"Are you sure? I've noticed Sarah getting quite upset as of late over some trivial things. Is she stressed with work? Are the kids too much for her?"

"Katrina is too much for her to handle at the moment," the tall woman replied, looking over at the topic of conversation. Katrina was sitting on a lounge chair with music blaring through her headphones instead of playing in the water with her cousins. "Neither one of us knows what to do with her. She's out of control with Sarah. I can tell that it's only a matter of time before Sarah breaks, and I'm not sure that would be wise. I'm afraid of what might happen if she's pushed too far."

"You don't think she'd hurt one of the children, do you?"

"No, never. However, I do think she could have a breakdown. Trying to follow an Oscar win professionally is difficult, and the stress of three children on top of that is getting to be too much for her. I know how it feels though. I'm feeling the strain as much as she is, but I just don't show it in the same ways. Sarah's a vocal person. I just keep it all inside."

Samantha nodded. "That's the truth. I think Katrina is getting to be the same way. She's holding back with whatever really is bothering her but blows up at Sarah for no reason. We just have to break through that barrier."

A moment passed before Jamie asked, "Could I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Have you ever thought the fact that you and I have custody of Katrina instead of Sarah and I could be causing some problems?"

"No, never. Why do you ask? Do you think it is?" Samantha inquired.

The actress shook her head quickly. "No. I think our arrangement is fine. However, I had the thought today that maybe Katrina doesn't feel connected to Sarah, because in a legal sense, she isn't. Eve and Stephen belong to Sarah and me. I wonder if that makes her feel different. She's the only one in our household that has the last name of Taylor-Dean. The rest of us have Talbot-Dean. I proud that she's a Taylor, but maybe she'd rather be a Talbot to fit in. Do you know what I mean?"

"I never thought about it that way."

"I hadn't either until today," the younger woman admitted, leaving out the fact that her wife had brought up the point with their disagreement. "I don't want to hurt Stephanie's memory, Samantha, but I want to do whatever it takes to get Katrina and Sarah to get along again. When Sarah and I were dating, they had a great relationship, but once we got married and especially after Stephen was born, Katrina just rebelled against Sarah worse than I could have ever imagined. I don't know what to do here."

"Well, if you think a name change would help, then maybe you should ask her if that's what she wants, Jamie. I can't tell you one way or the other what that girl is thinking. We used to be close too, but she's even started shutting me out. You know, I expected this behavior when she was a teenager, but I never would have imagined it to start at ten. You need to talk to her. You're the only one she seems to respond to anymore with any sort of consistency."

The tall woman gave a nod as she looked down at her son. "I don't know what to say, Samantha. I don't know where to even start."

"What about just the two of you going away together for awhile? Maybe she just needs your undivided attention to open up. Go upstate for a few days. Stop in on my parents. I'm sure they'd love to have the two of you. Maybe even a little trip over to see Stephanie might do her some good. How long has it been since she's seen her Mom?"

Shaking her head, the younger woman said, "I haven't been up there since Sarah and I got married. Sarah wanted all of us to go as a family, but I don't think she's been back since then."

"Maybe you should take her. My parents would like to spend some time with her too. Do you think sending her up there for a little while would help?"

"I'd be willing to try anything, Samantha. However, a trip will have to wait while Sarah's away on location. She's flies out down to Texas tomorrow to start a project. Katrina will be back in school by the time she gets back, and then I'm scheduled to go to California for my next film. I just don't see how Sarah and Katrina are going to survive each other with me gone that long. They hardly survive while I'm gone for a day or two."

"If it would be easier on Sarah, Katrina could stay with us while you're gone."

"I think that would only make it worse, don't you? I mean I leave, so Katrina has to as well. The idea is for her to feel included, not excluded."

"Then why don't you take Katrina to see Stephanie for a few days, and we'll take Eve and Stephen. Just make it a long weekend or something. Hopefully that will help."

Looking over at her daughter again, Jamie nodded. "I guess I can try that. What weekend would be best for you?"

"Any weekend is fine. Whatever fits into your schedule."

"Well, with Sarah gone I'm going to be around most of the time. Someone has to watch the kids. Why don't we try for this coming weekend? I'll call your parents and see if they are available."

"Great. Just let us know. We're here for you and Sarah, Jamie," Samantha softly said, patting her former sister-in-law on the arm.

"I appreciate that more than you know."

That evening Jamie was feeding the children dinner when Sarah arrived home. Her hands were full of shopping bags, but when she sat them down and raised her sunglasses onto the top of her head, Jamie could clearly see that her day away hadn't done much good. Blue eyes still held distress. Nevertheless, the brunette gave her wife a smile as she moved to greet her.

"Welcome home. We just sat down to eat. Let me get you a plate," she said, leaning to give the blonde a quick kiss.

Sarah gave a little whimper at the feel of her lover's lips on her own. Whenever things were rough between them, she always could feel whole again with just a touch from Jamie. She needed that touch now before she left for work in the morning, so she could leave of good terms. Instead of saying that however, the little woman just whispered, "Thanks." Going to the table, she took her usual chair. She smiled at her daughters. "Katrina, Eve, how was your day?" she asked.

"Fine," the ten-year old mumbled.

"Great, Mama. We went swimming with Aunt Samantha," Eve said.

"Oh, did you? That sounds like fun. Sorry I missed it."

Jamie smiled at Sarah as Eve told her blonde mother all about the pool that day. The four- year-old rambled on excitedly for several minutes while the brunette woman fixed a plate for her wife. Coming back to the table, she placed it in front of her before taking her seat once again. "As you can tell, we had quite the adventure. Right, Katrina?" Jamie asked, trying to include their eldest in the conversation.

"We went to the pool. It was fine," she grumbled, looking back at her plate.

Suddenly the ten-year old blonde's cell phone rang, interrupting the dialogue. Immediately she rose from the table to fetch it, but Sarah called out, "No calls during dinner, Katrina."

Katrina just rolled her eyes and looked at Jamie. "Sarah is right. We're having family time right now. You can talk later," she stated. It felt awkward for her to use her wife's first name with her daughter. For so long both girls had called her Mama, but in an effort to reach her oldest, she went with the name Katrina claimed was most comfortable for her. However, Jamie could see the affect it had on her wife.

"But, Mom, it could be important," she whined.

"Nothing can be that important right now. Sit back down and finish your dinner. Come on. I have some news of my own to share with the group, so come take your seat."

Reluctantly, Katrina did as she was told. Sarah looked across the table at the woman she loved. "And just what is this news, my dear?"

Jamie looked at her daughter. "Next Friday Katrina and I are going to Albany. We're going to spend the whole weekend there together, just the two of us. How does that sound?"

"Really?" Katrina asked, looking hopefully at her mother.

"Really." Turning to Eve, she smiled. "And you Miss Eve, you and Stephen are going to stay with Aunt Samantha and Uncle Doug. They're going to take you swimming and to the zoo. Would you like that?"

"Yeah. Sounds like fun, Mom."

"I thought you'd like to do that."

Sarah looked at Eve and then Katrina before her eyes settled on Jamie. "And just what are your big plans up in Albany?" she questioned.

"Well, we're long overdue for a visit to the Grandma and Grandpa's house. We're going to stay the weekend with them and just spend some time. Maybe will go over to the church and take in some of the old memories. We'll just do some mother-daughter bonding," she explained, hoping that her wife understood what was left unsaid in regards to seeing Stephanie. When she saw Sarah nod, she knew the blonde did.

"Well, that sounds like it will be a fun trip. Meanwhile I'll be stuck in Texas missing all of you."

"Oh, don't worry about that. We're going to all come see you the week after we get back. You can't get away from us," the tall woman teased.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," the petite actress replied, catching dark eyes. The women exchanged a meaningful gaze before their attention was divided once again by their girls.

Once dinner was finished, Jamie and Sarah started to prepare the kids for bed. Both of them decided to let Katrina do whatever she wanted for the time being as long as she stayed in her room, playing quietly after her bath. As for Eve, they did their usual tag team for bath time, one of them taking the four-year old while the other took charge of Stephen. Lucky for them Eve was tired from the extended time in the sun that day and had no qualms about going to bed on time.

Once the girls were settled, both women moved into the master bedroom. Jamie sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard and watching her wife as Stephen lay sleeping in her arms. Meanwhile Sarah scurried around trying to pack for her trip. "I can't believe I'm already going back to work. Right now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have taken off another six months."

"You'll be fine, Sarah. This is a great part. It's perfect for you."

The blonde nodded. "I know. I know. If I hear that one more time from anyone, I'm going to have to hurt someone. The part is perfect, but I'm going to be gone for so long. This isn't the most convenient time to be working."

"You have to start back sometime. You can't just win an Oscar and then quit. The public expects more from us."

The younger woman shook her head. "I know. That is the life we've chosen. Sometimes I just enjoy being a mother of three though, going to the club, lounging by the pool with the kids. I don't even mind going grocery shopping. There are days when I'd give it all up to stay home."

"Then of course you'd have to deal with Katrina all the time. I'm not sure either of you could survive that right now," Jamie pointed out.

"Speaking of Katrina, where on earth did you get the idea to take her to Albany?"

"It was Samantha's actually. We got to talking today while we were at the club. I mean we're all grasping at straws here. She just thought maybe a trip to see Stephanie and her other grandparents might do her some good. It's the only plan we have right now other than the counseling. I don't see how it could hurt."

"You're right. I agree. I just thought it was strange, but I can see where you are coming from on it. It's fine with me as long as Samantha and Doug are okay with taking Stephen and Eve for a few days."

"They're fine with it. Samantha offered, so Katrina and I could have some alone time."

Sarah nodded. She didn't want to bring up their conversation from that morning again, so she simply stayed quiet as she pulled clothes from the closet. The rest of the packing passed quietly. Finally when Sarah was finished with as much as she could do for the night, she looked over at her wife and son. Both brunettes had their eyes closed. Coming to the bed, the smaller woman gently took Stephen from Jamie's arms. Immediately dark eyes opened in confusion.

"I'm just putting him down in the nursery for awhile, because you and I need to talk about something important," she whispered.

The tall actress nodded sleepily. Stephen normally slept in a co-sleeper next to Sarah at night, so the fact that she was putting him down in another room intrigued the older woman. She knew Stephen was only separated from them if they were going to have an intimate conversation, so she anxiously awaited the blonde's return. It was only a moment before she graced the room again.

Sarah walked over to the bed where Jamie was and took a tentative seat. Dark eyes met blue ones in a long gaze. "Jamie, I'm sorry about this morning," she began. "I just don't know what to do with her anymore. I want Katrina to be happy."

Jamie nodded her head. "I know. We all want that, and we'll find a way. I'm sorry for not putting myself in your position. I would feel like an outsider as well if Robert still had joint custody of Eve with you. I just want the four of us adults in her life to work together on this without having to go back to court. My relationship with Samantha and Doug is so important to me and to Katrina as well. Samantha is the closet thing Katrina has to her real mother anymore. I mean even though the state thinks of me as her mother, I know as well as you do that Stephanie will always hold that special place regardless of what Katrina calls us. I don't want to take that from her."

"I know. We'll find a way. All four of us will just have to find a way to reach her," the blonde whispered leaning in closer to the dark-haired woman. "Enough talk about that though. We have more important matters to discuss."

They kissed lightly. "We do? Like what?" Jamie teased as Sarah began to unbutton her own blouse.

"Like how you're going to make love to me so I have something to remember on those lonely nights," she murmured as their mouths came together a second time.

"I like the sound of that," Jamie replied as her hands joined the fray. Within moments the small woman's blouse was on the ground. "You are so beautiful, Sarah," the brunette reverently uttered as they exchanged kisses that were growing heated by the second.

"Tell me, Jamie. Tell me what you want to do to me. I love hearing you talk to me while you touch me."

Jamie moaned as the little blonde straddled her legs. "God, Sarah, I love you so much. I love feeling your skin against mine," she whispered as her hands worked off the younger woman's satin and lace bra, revealing Sarah's endowment. With her still pumping milk for Stephen, her breasts were even larger and more sensitive than normal. The brunette gently cupped her wife's left one and squeezed lightly, emitting a moan from Sarah. "I love your breasts, Sarah. I love the way they feel in my hands and in my mouth," she murmured letting her mouth trail down to the objects of discussion.

Sarah clutched the back of her lover's head as Jamie's mouth closed over the crest of her right breast. This was what she needed to feel whole again. The older woman's touch never failed to right anything that had gone awry. "Jamie, please, baby," she pleaded softly. "Touch me."

Knowing what her wife needed, the tall woman stayed on course with her mouth but let her hands trail down to Sarah's pants. She opened them with quick proficiency and then guided the material down her beloved's hips. Breaking their contact briefly, Jamie gazed into blue eyes. "The sight of you naked never fails to make me breathless, Sarah," she admitted as the small actress took over the duty of removing the rest of her clothes.

"Good. Now it's time to make me breathless," the blonde answered teasingly, reaching for Jamie's shirt. She pulled it off quickly.

The older actress worked on her own shorts, pulling the belt open as they kissed again. Petite hands joined hers in the process of ridding the strong frame of the rest of its clothes. Once they were both naked, Jamie pulled the little woman down on top of her. Both of them groaned as bare skin met firmly. Jamie let her right hand drop between their bodies and trace her wife's inner thighs. "You're so soft here. I love the feeling of your thighs. I can feel them twitching in anticipation. You want me, don't you?" she inquired cockily as her fingers lingered just outside from where Sarah wanted her.

Sarah's only reply was a whimper. Secretly she loved it when Jamie acted arrogant during foreplay. It made it that much sweeter when she made the brunette beg for release. However, she wasn't quite ready to start reciprocating yet. She was enjoying the moment far too much to rush it. Giving just enough encouragement, she moaned her lover's name. She was rewarded with her wife pushing closer to the goal as a powerful hand cupped her wetness.

"God, you're so wet. I love it when you get this way. It makes me so hot knowing how much you need me. Tell me. Do you want me, love? Do you need me inside of you?"

Knowing her part, Sarah breathlessly answered, "Yes, Jamie. Please. Touch me from the inside."

Hearing the desperation in her lover's voice, the brunette immediately gave in to Sarah's wishes. Both of them groaned in unison as the tall woman filled her wife. Wanting her deeper though, the younger woman sat back on her knees astride Jamie's hips. There was silence except for heavy breathing as blue eyes stayed locked on brown ones. The older woman pumped at a gentle pace with her right hand as her left grabbed hold of the blonde's backside. She began to knead the muscles as she thrust in time with Sarah's hips. As good as it felt to have Jamie inside of her, Sarah knew the moment for her to give back to her wife was upon her. Arching her back causing the brunette to go even deeper, Sarah let her right hand drop back behind her and slip into Jamie without warning. She smiled as she saw dark eyes roll closed in pleasure.

"Sarah," the taller woman moaned. Her wife always took her by surprise when they made love, taking the lead between them whenever she least expected it. However, even as much as she was used to being the dominant one in the past, she secretly enjoyed allowing the blonde to take the reins whenever she wanted. Her body never failed to respond to her blue-eyed angel's touch, making her as desperate to be fulfilled as to gratify. Sarah was only one of two women who had ever had that effect on the brunette, and Jamie loved to indulge in the feeling. "Please, Sarah," she beseeched. "I need you."

"Don't worry, love. I'll take care of you," the petite woman assured.

Together they moved in an instinctive rhythm, their hips and bodies meshing in synchrony as they traveled together toward the summit of pleasure. As usual it was Jamie that reached it first. Her hard body shuddered against Sarah's smaller one, and she whimpered her wife's name. Sarah simply smiled lovingly and cradled Jamie into her frame, enjoying the tide of emotions that surrounded the tall woman's peak. Patiently the blonde waited for Jamie to descend from her pinnacle, knowing the brunette would satisfy her when she had regained her senses.

A few minutes later brown eyes opened and looked up into blue. Jamie gave a content smile. She knew that her wife hadn't climaxed with her, but she was determined to correct that situation. However before she proceeded to refocus her energies, she whispered, "You know, my reputation would be totally ruined if anyone knew you could incapacitate me like that," she teased. "If the public knew Bad Girl Jamie Talbot-Dean was just a woman that quivered at your touch, I'd never get work again. You've turned me into such a lovesick fool."

Sarah smirked. Leaning to her wife's ear, she kissed it lovingly. "Don't worry, Jamie. I won't tell anyone your secret."

"You better not," playfully the brunette warned. "Or else I might have to stop pleasuring you."

"Oh, we couldn't have that now, could we?" Sarah asked, rocking her hips down against her beloved's, reminding her that there was unfinished business which needed attention. Taking the direction, Jamie once again started to direct her wife to peak. It only took a few minutes before the younger woman was as incapacitated as she had been. Stilling herself inside of her lover, Jamie wrapped an arm around her, maneuvering them both down onto the mattress.

Sarah enjoyed the presence of her wife as they lay in silence together, basking in the moment. Even as difficult as things got between them with their children, Sarah knew as long as they could have moments like the one they were sharing, things would eventually work themselves out. After several minutes she whispered, "I don't want to leave in the morning."

"I don't want you to either, but we both have to get back to work eventually. Both our agents are hounding us. We have to get back in the saddle. You have a great project ahead of you."

"I know. I just hate being without you and the kids."

"We're going to come down the weekend after next. You'll be so busy you'll hardly notice."

"Oh, I'll notice all right. My breasts won't let me forget that Stephen's supposed to be there," she joked.

Jamie laughed lightly. "Well, if you'd rather take him with you it's fine with me. I just think it would be easier for you if he stays here. You're going to be working long hours as it is. The last thing you need is to have to deal with his unpredictable hours. I guess you'll just have to pump while you're away unless you're finished breast feeding him."

"Not even close. Eve had breast milk until she was two. Stephen's getting the same. I had Eve on the set with me during that time for that purpose. I really am reconsidering taking him. I think it would be best, Jamie."

"Well, he is more content when you're around."

"Maybe I should take Eve as well for those first two weeks. It would give you and Katrina some time alone together. I think I'd feel a little strange letting Samantha and Doug take just Eve for the weekend when you went up to Albany."

"They'd do it, Sarah. It wouldn't be a problem."

"I know, and I love them for that, but maybe that time alone with Katrina would help her sort out some issues."

Jamie shrugged. "That's fine with me if that's what you want to do."

"I think that's what I want to do, Jamie."

The older woman nodded. "All right then. Tomorrow morning we'll get Eve and Stephen packed. I'm sure they can make arrangements to have the kids along for you."

Pulling her body over onto Jamie's, Sarah smiled down at her wife. "Thank you for understanding, Jamie. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Sarah, always. We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is a big day for you."

Cracking a grin, the fair-headed woman proposed, "Or we could not go to sleep and I could render you helpless again."

Jamie chuckled. "I'm at your mercy. You know that."

*****************************************************************

A few days later, Georgia made her way back to New York for the first time in almost three months. After she had been served the divorce papers, she didn't bother to call Blake. Instead she decided to simply show up at their condo to speak to the attorney in person about it. When her plane landed at JFK airport, it was late that night. Gathering her own luggage, she quietly went outside to catch a cab to upper Manhattan.

Getting to their building, she was greeted politely by the doorman before moving inside to catch the elevator. The ride to their floor seemed way too long. The bell finally chimed, though, and the writer stepped out into the quiet corridor. Going to their door, it took her a moment to find her key. The place was silent when she entered, and only one small light was on in the kitchen. Figuring the children and Renee were probably asleep, she walked toward the master bedroom. A light shone from under the door, so she softly opened it. There was Blake leaning against the headboard. Her reading glasses were still on her face, and papers littered the bed. However the attorney was sound asleep.

Georgia just studied her wife for a few minutes in silence. The older woman still had her heart. It pained her to think their relationship was really over. Unable to stay away, the blonde moved to the bed and took a tentative seat next to the taller woman. Blake didn't even flinch when the mattress moved. Not knowing what to do, the younger woman quietly began to gather the papers and folders spread out over the bed and stack them neatly on the night stand before gently removing Blake's glasses from her face. The forty-two-year-old mumbled incoherently and rearranged herself for a moment.

Georgia just watched her. Blake looked so vulnerable and beautiful at rest that it caused a pang in her soul. She still wanted the attorney even if those feelings were no longer reciprocated. Giving into her need to touch her wife, the small woman touched her on the face. Her heart dropped when Blake grumbled their nanny's name instead of hers. Knowing that Blake was thinking of someone else made the writer begin to cry. The woman she had loved for the last five years now had given her heart to someone else.

With tears cascading down her fair skin, Georgia leaned toward her wife. She just needed to know the feeling of the attorney's mouth against her own one last time, so she loving pressed her pink lips to Blake's. The brunette's eyes opened sleepily and obviously showed their confusion at Georgia's presence. "Hey," the thirty year old whispered.

"Georgia? What are you doing here? Have you come home?" she tiredly inquired.

The writer shook her head solemnly. "Just for a few days. I got the papers. I'm just here to collect my things and the kids."

"What?" the attorney asked still not fully awake.

"I got the divorce papers that you sent, Blake," she explained.

"Oh," Blake mumbled as she finally started to become aware again.

"I don't want to fight with you, Blake. I'll give you the divorce if that's what you want. I just need to get my things and the children, and I'll be on my back to Nawlins," she stated a second time, seeing that the older woman was now cognizant.

Blake shook her head. "I don't think so," she countered. "You can take all you want out of this place, but the kids stay with me. I'm not letting you take them down to New Orleans," the attorney announced as she rose from the bed testily.

"Excuse me? Those are my children."

"They're my children too, Georgia, and I'm not the one who abandoned them. You've been gone for almost three months and only seen them once. You expect me to just let you walk in here and take them away from me after all I've been through with them? You weren't the one who they asked every night when Mama was coming home. You want to leave me, go right ahead. I'm a grown woman, and I can take it. But how dare you walk out on Luke and Lana for three months? And how dare you even think I'm going to let you take them from me?"

"Blake, they belong with me. They're mine. I gave birth to them."

"That doesn't mean shit to me, Georgia! The state sees me at their equal parent, and I will fight you to the bitter end if I have to in order to keep them with me! They're happy here in New York, Georgia! They're well-adjusted three-year-olds, no thanks to you! If it weren't for Renee, I'd be fit to be tied, but thankfully, she has helped me hold this house together while you've gone off and lived your own life away from your family!"

"Oh Renee? The woman my Mama caught you in bed with? That'll hardly go over well with a judge!"

"And abandoning them without so much as a good bye will? You gave up your rights the minute you decided not to get back on that plane at the end of your vacation! Georgia Erwin, we might be finished, but I'll be damned if I let you ruin my life by taking my kids!"

Before the blonde could offer any sort of retort, the woman of conversation appeared in the open doorway. Renee seemed surprised to see Georgia, but she didn't say that. Instead she merely whispered, "You're going to wake the kids if you keep this up."

Georgia scowled at the younger woman, but Blake nodded in response. "Thank you for the warning, Renee. Sorry if we woke you. We'll keep it down." Both of them waited until the nanny was gone again to look at each other. Blake sighed for a moment before asking quietly, "Why don't you want to come home? What did I do so wrong that you had to run away from me, from our family, from our life? Why did it take divorce papers to get you back here?"

Georgia shook her head and broke eye contact. "There are so many reasons. I don't even know where to start, but at this point, it don't matter any more anyway. You wanted this divorce. Well, you have it. Here are the papers," she said digging them out of her carry-on bag. "I signed them, and I expect our prenup to take effect immediately. The first alimony payment should be made the first of next month and our assets divided according to our agreement. I'm giving up quite a lot by not fightin' with you 'bout that. However, I will fight you for my kids. I don't care how long it takes. I have petitioned for full custody all ready, and I will do whatever it takes to win," she threatened.

Blake gave an arrogant chuckle. "Have you gone mad, Georgia? Have you forgotten who I am? Have you forgotten with exactly whom you are dealing? There is no way in hell I'm going to let a little thing like you try to squash me in court. I don't care who you have for representation. I've been doing family law a lot of years. I know what it takes to win, and you don't stand a chance in hell. You might was well give up."

"Never, Blake! I carried those kids for nine months! I went through labor to brin' them into the world! My blood, sweat, and tears went into havin' them. I will never turn my back on Lana and Luke!"

"You already did, Georgia! Now I've had about enough of this for one night! You can get your things tomorrow! I'm going to bed, and you're leaving!"

"This is my home! You can't throw me out!"

"Oh, I beg to differ! This is my home! My name and only my name is on the deed! Even more according to the prenup, I keep the primary residence! It's mine, and I say it's time for you to go!" she yelled, taking the blonde by the arm.

"You let me go, Blake, or I'll call the cops!"

"And tell them what exactly? You are trespassing! They're going to throw your ass in jail, not mine! Now I suggest you turn yourself around right now and go out the front door before I have security remove you from the premise!" she screamed.

"Mama?" a tiny voice called interrupting their argument. Both women turned toward the sound and saw their son standing in the doorway of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Immediately Georgia went o him and scooped him up in her arms. "Oh, Luke, we're sorry. We didn't mean to wake you," she softly said.

He looked at her with worry as he asked, "Mama, why are you crying?"

She smiled at his concern. "I'm just upset, Luke, but I'll be fine. Don't you worry 'bout it. Come on now. Let me take you back to bed." Georgia scowled at Blake over their son's head before exiting the room. She carried Luke back to his room and put him down in bed again. Giving him the best smile she could muster at the moment, she whispered, "You need to go back to sleep now."

His blue eyes met hers. "Mama, why were you and Mom yelling?"

"We just got in a fight. We didn't mean to yell, Luke. I'm sorry if it scared you."

He gave a sleepy nod as she tucked the comforter around him. "Are you going to be here tomorrow, Mama?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'll be here. Why do you ask, Luke?"

"I don't want you to go away again."

Georgia's blue eyes began to tear again at her son's words. She wished she could reassure him that she would be there, but she knew facing Blake in court would be difficult at best. "I don't want to go away either, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to, Luke. However, don't you worry 'bout it. I'll be here tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay. I love you, Mama," he whispered as she brushed back his blonde hair from his face.

"I love you too, sweetie, more than you could ever know. Sweet dreams," she replied kissing his forehead. Quietly she moved toward the door. Looking back at him from the doorway, she smiled at him asleep. Seeing the light on in her daughter's room, she poked her head in there. To her surprise, she saw Renee kneeling by her daughter's bed.

However as soon as Lana saw her mother, her dark eyes sparkled in happiness as the little girl smiled. "Mama!" she exclaimed, crawling out of bed and scampering over to Georgia.

The writer picked up her daughter and hugged her tightly. "Hey, angel. How's my baby girl?"

"I missed you, Mama."

"I missed you too, Lana," Georgia responded. Gazing over at the nanny, the writer resisted the urge to say something biting in front of her child. Instead she just glared at Renee. Just the sight of the younger woman infuriated her, because instantly she thought of their nanny in bed with her wife. "Renee, I have this under control," she stated cooly.

The nanny nodded slowly. "Of course, Georgia," she softly answered. Looking at Lana she smiled. "Good night, Lana. See you in the morning."

"Night Renee," the little brunette child answered with a wave.

Once they were alone, Georgia took her daughter back to her bed. "It's way past your bedtime," she mentioned. "Why are you awake?"

"I heard noises that scared me," the three-year-old said.

"Well, you're safe now. Nothin' is goin' hurt you if I'm here. Come on. Let's get you back under the covers." The blonde gently put her daughter down. "Here. Here's your favorite teddy bear," she said, placing it in the girl's arms. Lovingly she tucked the long dark hair behind Lana's tiny ears. Just looking at the three-year-old made her think of Blake, and Georgia once again found herself on the verge of tears.

It was only when a small hand touched her on the face that she realized tears had escaped her eyes. "Don't cry, Mama."

Georgia kissed her daughter's hand. "I can't help it, Lana. I just missed you and Luke so much."

"Did you miss Mom too? She missed you."

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, I missed Mom too," she admitted. "You should go to sleep now. Have sweet dreams."

"You too, Mama," the little girl replied as Georgia kissed her on the top of her dark head.

Leaving her children's bedrooms, the writer made her way back toward the master bedroom, but Blake was no longer there. Hearing noise in the kitchen she followed it. The attorney was leaning against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest, and she wore a scowl. Had the taller woman not been glaring at her, Georgia would have found it easy to be excited by the sight of the brunette in a small pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt, toned legs and arms on perfect display. However, the menacing glower made it impossible.

"I think you should leave now, Georgia," Blake suggested in a calm voice, but the writer still heard the anger.

Knowing it would do no good to try to fight with the older woman, the blonde nodded. "Fine. I'll go, Blake, but this ain't over. I may have lost you, but I refuse to lose my kids. I'll be by tomorrow for my things."

"Fine. Now give me your key," she demanded, extending her hand.

Georgia hesitated for a moment. She didn't want to relinquish the key to the place she had called home since right after she and Blake had gotten married. It would be like giving up the last piece of hope for them. However, she knew Blake was not going to let her walk out without surrendering it either. Reluctantly she removed the key from her key chain. Instead of putting it in the attorney's hand though, she simply placed it on the kitchen counter top.

Without another word between them, they walked to the front door. Neither looked at the other. "I'll be by tomorrow mornin'," Georgia softly said.

"Fine," the attorney stoically answered. Without a good bye, the writer left. When Blake closed and locked the door, she just stood there a moment in silence trying to take in what had just transpired. Georgia had just left her. Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe as she began to quietly sob. She didn't want to wake her kids or Renee again, so she just stood there in the entryway with her head against the door whimpering in virtual silence as the life as she had known it came to a expeditious collapse. The love of her life, the mother of her children was gone. She stayed there for several minutes bemoaning the turn of events, but a set of arms encircling her waist brought her out of her daze.

"It's going to be okay, Blake," Renee whispered consolingly.

"I just acted like a total asshole," the attorney whispered. "Had I just acted better she still might be here."

"Blake, if she wanted to stay, she would have."

"I just kicked her out, Renee. I didn't give her a choice. My wife is gone, and it's my fault."

"Come on, Blake. This isn't doing any good. Let's get you back to bed. You've got an early meeting," the nanny suggested, pulling her toward the master bedroom. The attorney went along willingly. Renee put the older woman back in bed and then took a seat beside her. "Do you want to be alone, or would you like company?"

"I'm not sure I would be the best company right now," the brunette answered.

"That's okay. If you want me to stay, I will. Just tell me what you want."

"What I want?" Blake questioned placing her hand on Renee's arm. "There are two things I want right now, and I can't have either."

"How do you know? What are they?"

"I want Georgia to come back, and that's not going to happen."

The younger woman shrugged. "What about the other thing?"

"I want you to stay, and I can't have that either. At least I can't have that and respect myself in the morning," she admitted.

Renee broke their gaze and settled her eyes on the attorney's hand gently caressing her forearm. "It would be so easy," the blonde mumbled. "Georgia's gone."

"But my children need a nanny more than I need a replacement in my bed."

"Is that all I would be?" Renee asked. Not knowing how to answer that best, Blake shrugged for a moment. However, the nanny pushed, "Well, is it?"

"Yes," Blake replied honestly. Seeing the younger woman smirk, the brunette knew Renee wasn't offended.

"Well, then I don't see what the problem would be with me staying the night."

"You mean, you don't want more than that?" Blake asked in surprise.

"No, Blake. I don't want to be your wife or a mother to your kids. I don't even want to be your girlfriend. I just want to sleep with my boss," she stated lightly.

"Well, I didn't know that. That certainly changes things a bit." Blake met hazel eyes. She knew the twenty-five-year-old was hers if she wanted. However, she knew she wasn't ready for such a night. Giving the nanny a smile and nod, she said, "Well, maybe someday we'll do that but not tonight if that's okay with you. I'm not ready. Maybe we could just sleep together instead. I really don't want to be alone right now."

"That's fine. What are friends for, Blake?" Renee questioned rhetorically, moving to the other side of the bed. She slid under the covers and looked at the attorney. "If you need anything else, just let me know."

Blake nodded. "Thanks, Renee, for everything."

"Anytime. Try to sleep now."

The next morning Blake was up early. She knew she had a meeting with some clients, but she decided to cancel it, because she wanted to be there when Georgia came to the loft. She was simply sitting in the kitchen reading and drinking coffee when there was a knock on the door. Figuring it was probably the little blonde, Blake went to answer it. Pulling open the door, she was greeted by the sight of Georgia, Cindy, and her business partner, Jack along with moving men.

Without even bothering to greet the attorney, the writer brushed by her with her entourage close behind. Turning to the moving men, she commanded, "Everythin' goes."

"Whoa. Wait just a minute Georgia Erwin. This is my house," Blake stated.

"Yeah but I own everythin' in it. Check that prenup of ours, Blake."

"Georgia, the kids aren't even awake yet. This is really not the best way to do this."

"Well, fuckin' our nanny wasn't exactly the best way to end our relationship either!" Georgia yelled.

"I did no such thing, Georgia! In fact, it was you who tried to seduce my best friend, your best friend's wife!"

"I never touched, Tor!" the smaller woman screamed. Before anything else could be said, the master bedroom door opened. All eyes turned to see the nanny step from the room in only her pajamas. "What were you sayin' 'bout not screwin' the nanny, Blake?"

The older woman just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You know what, Georgia? You take it all! It means nothing to me! You're the materialistic one!"

"I earned it, Blake!"

"Earned it? What does that mean, Georgia? How did you earn it? On your back?" Blake yelled. "You're good but not that good."

Blue eyes flashed angrily, and before either one of them knew it, a petite hand connected solidly with the side of the attorney's face. "How dare you?" the blonde accused as tears rolled down her face.

"Where did you get that little move, Georgia? Your Klan buddies?" the brunette asked as she idly rubbed the side of her face.

"Blake Erwin, that's enough! I've had enough! I don't deserve this! I did everythin' for you! I lived here in New York! I had your children! I played the perfect wife for all these years, letting you live your dreams! And now that I'm tryin' to live one of my own, you leave me! I'm tired of your selfishness, Blake! I want my own life!"

"Well, now you have it! I never should have let you back in my life! That was the biggest mistake I ever made! But I assure you that won't happen again! Get your shit and get the hell out!" she screamed before turning to go back to her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her so loudly pictures fell off the wall. Tears poured out of her eyes as she sunk to the floor against the door. She couldn't believe the way she had just acted. She had never spoken so irreverently to a woman in her life, especially not to one she loved, but she was so upset she just let things fly out of her mouth without thinking about the repercussions. Knowing she had to pull herself together for her children, the tall woman quickly focused on what she needed to do. She showered and dressed before going to get her kids. She found Renee already there helping them get dressed for the day. The two women looked at each other.

"I figured you didn't want them to be around for this," the younger woman said.

"Thanks, Renee." Looking at her kids, she put on a smile. "Guess what, you two? The four of us are going to go out and play today."

"Is Mama coming too?" Luke asked.

"No. Mama has a lot to do today, so she can't come. Let's get the rest of our clothes on quickly. Come on."

As soon as the foursome was ready, Blake led the kids out into the living area. When the two three-year olds saw their blonde mother, they took off for her. Georgia smiled at both of them as she kneeled down to hug each of them. "Hey. How are my babies?"

"You're crying again, Mama," her son mentioned.

She nodded. "I'm sad, Luke."

"Why?" Lana queried.

Georgia looked at Blake and then back at her children. "Because I have leave, and I wish I didn't."

"Don't leave again, Mama," Luke requested.

"I have to, baby. Remember last night I told you that sometimes was have to do things we don't want?" He nodded. "Well, I have to do this even though I don't want to. You see, your Mom and I have decided it would be better if we didn't live together anymore, but that means one of us have to leave. Don't worry, though. I'm gonna be at Grandma's for awhile. You two have to be strong for me, okay?" Both of the kids nodded. "I love you two more than anythin' else in this world, and Mom loves you too. We would never let anythin' happen to either one of you. Just remember that. All right?"

Once Georgia had let them go, they scurried over to where Renee was. Blake looked at the writer. "Thank you for that," she softly said.

The tiny blonde scowled at her. "You will not take my children from me, Blake. This is far from over. Mark my words."

Blake stayed out with Renee and the twins most of the day. They visited all of the children's favorite places in an effort to take their minds off of their other mother. It was a successful tactic for the most part, which was of great relief to the attorney. However that night as they returned to the house after dinner, they were greeted with a surprise. When the brunette opened the door, she stood for a moment in shock at the loft. It was completely bare.

"Oh my God," she mumbled as the four of them entered. Nothing was in the living room or kitchen. Moving toward the master bedroom, she found everything removed except for her personal effects. In concern she moved to her children's bedrooms but was relieved to see their rooms still intact. However, all the furniture Blake had put in Renee's room was gone but thankfully her personal belongings were still there. Going into her office, the attorney realized that room had been left untouched as well.

"She really cleaned you out," the nanny mentioned coming into the office.

"Yeah. At least my couch folds out into a queen-sized bed. You can sleep on that for the time being. Tomorrow we'll work on getting some furniture in here. For now though, let's get the kids settled for bed. It's been a long day."

Renee and Blake got the children in bed before the attorney went into the kitchen. Grabbing herself a beer out of the refrigerator, she took a large gulp before sighing. A headache was starting, and she was tired from the drama of the day. Blake drained the beverage before going back to the master bedroom. She changed into her pajamas and then left the room to find a blanket with which to sleep since Georgia had taken all the bedding as well. Seeing the light on in her office, she walked over to see if Renee was getting ready for sleep. The nanny was just making the bed. She spared her boss a smile.

"I'm glad that you at least have sheets," Blake mentioned.

"Yeah. Where are you going to sleep, Blake?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll sleep on the floor in Lana's room. She's got that area rug that's pretty comfortable."

"Do you want to stay in here with me? The bed is big enough for both of us."

"I don't want to impose."

"You aren't imposing. Sleep with me. It'll be better for your back than the floor."

"If you're sure."

Renee nodded. "Come on. Get in," she demanded lightly, patting the bed next to where she was. Blake did as she was told. Getting under the covers, she settled herself. Renee turned out the light and joined her. Neither spoke for a few minutes. However, the blonde finally broke the silence. "This has been quite the day."

"You're telling me."

"You and Georgia certainly had a knock-down, drag-out this morning."

"Yeah. I can't believe she slapped me."

"Well, in so many words you inferred that she was a whore and not a very good one. I would have been upset too."

The older woman shook her head. "I can't believe I said that. I didn't mean that at all. I was just so angry that she said she had earned all that she was getting. I thought I made lots of concessions in our marriage. I didn't think I was being selfish, but maybe I was."

"Don't even think that. It's obvious you gave Georgia everything she wanted."

"Obviously not. If I had she wouldn't have felt the need to run off in the first place. Well, I guess there is no point in talking about it now. It's over. She's gone."

"Why don't you just try to get some rest? We have a lot to do tomorrow, and I know you need to go to work at some point."

"Yeah. Good night, Renee."

"Night, Blake."

Sometime during the night Blake awoke with a startle. As her eyes came open, she felt Renee next to her stroking her arms soothingly. "Renee?" she whispered.

"Yeah? I'm here. You were having a bad dream. You were whimpering in your sleep."

"Oh. I was having a nightmare about the Klan. It's nothing. That happens sometimes but not often."

"The Klan? You mean like the Ku Klux Klan?"

"Yeah. When I first met Georgia, we got to be friends, and the Georgia Klan didn't take well to that. They gay-bashed me one night, tried to kill me. Jack saved my life. I don't think about it much, but I guess I started dreaming about it, because I mentioned it to Georgia."

"What a terrible thing to endure. That was all because of Georgia?"

"Yeah."

"And you still married her?"

"I loved her, Renee. She was the first woman I ever loved that way, and as much as I struggled with what had happened, I continued to love her. She's the only one that has sparked a fire in my heart, a fire that hasn't gone out. I still love her, Renee."

"Then why all of this fighting?"

"She doesn't want to be with me any longer. I love her enough to let her go if that's what she wants. It's obvious she wants her own life, and she deserves to get what she wants. I guess I'm just having a hard time letting go, and in my hurt and anger, I've said things I can't retract. I didn't mean them, but they've been said, and I can't undo that. Today was the last straw. When she hit me, I knew it was really over," Blake whispered.

"It'll be all right. You'll see."

"Yeah. I hope so."

***************************************************************

The following day Blake went to the office as usual, trying to focus on the one normal event in her life to keep her sane. That morning as she left the house she gave Renee strict instructions on what to do if Georgia came by wanting to spend time with the children and requested that her nanny spend some free time that day looking for some suitable furniture for the place, leaving her with the phone numbers of several influential designers that could take care of the attorney's needs on short notice.

Even though her heart was not into her work for once, Blake pressed on, hoping that she could find some small solace in her office. However, the only part of the day that gave her any real joy was when Torrance and Helen stopped by to take her to lunch, but even that was short-lived, for just as the threesome of about to get on the elevator to leave, the receptionist called out to the attorney.

"Blake, Governor Whitfield is on the phone for you. He says it's urgent."

"What's my dad doing calling you?" the photographer inquired lightly as Blake went to the phone sitting on a side table in the foyer. Blake just shrugged her shoulders as she picked it up.

"Thomas, to what do I owe this pleasure?" she greeted as friendly as she could while looking at her two friends, who were staring at her curiously.

"Blake, I'm sorry to disturb you. I was actually looking for Torrance. I called the house, and the housekeeper said she and Helen were coming to see you. Neither one of them seems to have their cell phones on, and it's urgent that I speak to one of them right away. Are they there by chance?"

"Actually, they're both right here. Is something the matter?" she asked, sensing by the sound of his voice that something was awry.

"Please put Torrance on the phone then," he requested seriously.

"Certainly, Thomas," the attorney answered before extending the phone to her friend. "Tor, your dad wants to speak to you."

Taking the phone from Blake, Torrance inquired, "Dad, hi. What is it?"

"Torrance, I'm really sorry I had to track you down at Blake's, but something has happened. Your mother just got a call from Italy," he began, his voice cracking with emotion.

"What is it, Dad? What's happened?" she asked, automatically assuming the worst since she could hear her normally controlled father crying.

"Your grandfather, Torrance. He passed away just a little while ago."

"Nonno," the photographer whispered as tears immediately came to her eyes. She spared a look in her wife's direction. Helen sensed something was wrong as soon as she saw Torrance's face and moved to her, embracing her around the back.

"Apparently he said he wasn't feeling well and went to take a nap. Your grandmother wasn't able to wake him for supper. Your mother and I will be flying over as soon as possible. We were hoping to be down to New York to take the jet this evening. It would mean everything to your mother if you were on that plane with us, Torrance."

"Of course. Helen and I will go home straight away and start packing. We'll meet you at the airport tonight. What time?"

"Hopefully it will be by six. I still have a lot of things to rearrange here before leaving."

"All right. Call us as you're leaving then. We'll be ready. See you then," Torrance answered. When she put the phone back in its place, she didn't say anything at first. She simply cradled the back of Helen's fair head and brought it against her shoulder as she started to cry.

"What is it, Torrance?" the blonde softly inquired.

"Nonno died," she simply replied.

Blake came to the both of them and embraced them in her arms, holding her two friends as they cried together. The attorney felt saddened for their loss, because she knew just how much Torrance's grandfather meant to her friend. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked after several minutes.

The photographer shook her head and wiped her eyes vainly. "We have to cancel lunch today. I'm sorry."

Blake gave her a comforting smile. "It's fine. Go on. You need to get home to pack. Is there anything you need?"

"Thanks, Blake, but I think we should just get home," Helen stated.

The attorney nodded. "Well, let me know if there is something I can do. We'll do lunch whenever you get back."

The drive back to Helen and Torrance's house was fairly quiet between them. Helen drove since the brunette seemed to be in no condition to do anything other than weep. The blonde felt crushed at her wife's pain, because she knew there was really nothing she could do except be there for the older woman.

When they got back to their home, Helen took it upon herself to break the news to their children, knowing that Torrance needed some time alone to process the news before beginning to get John and Marta packed for the trip to Italy. Once that was complete, she went into the master bedroom where Torrance was. The photographer was silently packing her bags when she came into the room.

"How are you doing?" Helen asked coming to hug her.

"I'm okay," the brunette replied softly. "I'm just sad."

"I know, and that's okay. Nonno was in his nineties. He lived a long life."

Torrance nodded. "I know, and he died in his sleep. At least he didn't suffer at the end like so many people," she mentioned. "It's just hard to imagine that he's really gone."

The blonde nodded in understanding as she held her wife tighter. After a silent moment though, she stated, "The kids are already packed. I just need to get my things together and take a shower."

Torrance gave a nod. "That's fine. My parents haven't left Albany yet."

"Is there anything I can do to help you, honey? How about a nice relaxing shower with me? I could give you a back rub. Tell me what I can do to help you," the younger woman enticed wanting to be close to her lover but not knowing the best way to comfort the taller woman. "Come on. Why don't you get out of these clothes? You shouldn't travel in this suit," she mentioned gently beginning to unbutton Torrance's pressed blue shirt.

Torrance willingly allowed Helen to undress her. Her wife's small hands felt soothing to her as they caressed her back lovingly once her shirt had been removed. The photographer let the blonde work open her slacks and push them to the floor before meeting green eyes. Bringing a hand up to her wife's face, she cupped her cheek softly. "I love you, Helen. Thank you for being here," she whispered.

"I love you too, Torrance. You mean the world to me. Come on. Let me give you a hand in the shower." Helen led her lover by the hand into their master bathroom and proceeded to start the water, fixing it at the perfect temperature before shedding her own clothes.

Torrance just watched as the former model's frame came into view. In the eight years they had known each other, the photographer's body still reacted to the sight of her angel as if it were the first time, in utter awe and adoration. As Helen stepped out of her slacks, she winced as pain shot through her midsection, but she tried not to show it to her wife. However, she knew she had failed when she felt a gentle hand come to rest tentatively on her stomach. "Are you all right?" Torrance questioned in concern.

Knowing that she could never hide the truth from the woman she loved, Helen's green eyes grew watery. "I'll be fine. It just hurts still."

Hearing her beloved struggling, the photographer felt pain grip her heart even more. "I'm sorry, ma cherie. Here I am thinking of only myself. I should be stronger for you."

The blonde shook her head in disagreement. "We need to be strong for each other, my love. We'll get through this the way we always have," she answered taking Torrance by the hand and pulling her into the shower.

They stood embrace in silence letting the warm water cascade over them, taking in the feel of each other. Lovingly their hands moved over the planes of each other's bodies, caressing in a consoling manner in an effort to draw them closer emotionally. Neither spoke for a long time, but words weren't needed either. Just as it had been a few days previously, everything was understood in the stillness that surrounded them.

Later that night as they flew over the Atlantic Ocean, Helen entertained the children with a book but kept her eyes closely on her wife. Torrance sat next to her mother and father. Thomas Whitfield sat stoically pretending to read some papers he had pulled from his briefcase, but Helen knew by the fact he had been on the same page for over an hour his mind was elsewhere. Maria Whitfield looked out the window into the darkness, and Torrance simply sat with a hand on her mother's arm. The only sound in the cabin was Helen's voice as she spun the tale of the book she was holding for her two sleepy children. When the book was complete, the blonde moved her son and daughter to the sleeping compartment, so they could sleep before taking her own chair again to resume her vigil over the photographer.

Within just a few minutes, green eyes met. Silently Torrance relinquished her mother and stood. Knowing that she didn't even have to motion for the blonde to follow, she made her way back to the king-sized bed where her children resided and laid down on the other side. Immediately Helen was next to her before she could even settle herself. The two of them laid in the quietness, both watching their children sleep and mourning at the loss of Torrance's beloved grandfather.

Once they arrived in Italy, the family driver was there to retrieve them from the airport and take them back to the house. The rest of the family had already managed to arrive before them, making the house a flurry of commotion when they got there. However, when Torrance found out what room their grandmother expected them to stay in, she knew that even in her sorrow, the older woman still remembered the smallest details of her grandchildren's lives.

Going upstairs Torrance and Helen dropped their kids' bags off in the room next to their own before going into their quarters. Helen couldn't help but crack a hint of a smile when she saw the balcony doors already opened for them. "It's been a long time since we've slept in here," she mentioned.

Torrance nodded. "So it has. Eight years," she mumbled placing her suitcases down at the foot of the bed.

"Nonna remembers everything, doesn't she? Even the meaning of this room." The photographer nodded. "However, sharing this bed with you will be much different than it was eight summers ago," she whispered, putting her arms around the woman she loved.

Giving a small smile of her own, Torrance gently teased, "You mean you won't run away from me after I give you the world's best orgasm?"

Helen flushed lightly at the mention of their first encounter in the bed just a few feet from them. "No running away. I promise," she whispered.

Instinctively they leaned to kiss each other softly, forgetting for a few moments the reason they were there and instead enjoying the closeness and privacy. Finally Torrance pulled back slightly and stated, "We should get downstairs. I need to be with the family."

Helen nodded in agreement and took hold of her wife's hand to guide them back downstairs. Going into the living room, they found their children playing with Thomas quietly while Maria and her mother sat on the sofa with other relatives simply reminiscing about Torrance's grandfather. Both women took a seat on the floor near their kids but listened attentively to the conversation going on around them. Even though there was much chatter among the family, the solemnity was thick in the room.

Torrance took a moment to study her grandmother from her position on the floor. The elder woman sat holding hands with her daughter, and she had a vacancy in her eyes. The photographer could not even fathom what she could possibly be feeling at the moment, for she knew she would not be able to go on if she lost her beloved Helen, and they had only been married for five years. To lose someone after more than seventy years of marriage had to have been devastating.

The rest of the day passed quietly. With the service scheduled for the following morning, Torrance and Helen wanted to make sure John and Marta were well-rested, so the four of them retired early after the evening meal. Both women took care of getting their baths and putting them in pajamas before settling them in their room. Torrance took the liberty of playing a quiet game with them while Helen unpacked the children's suitcases and prepared their outfits for the next day. When the blonde was finished with her task, she joined the game in progress, and the four of them spent the rest of the night alone together until it was time for John and Marta to go to sleep.

Once they had been settled for the night, the blonde and brunette returned to their own room that adjoined their children's. Both of them started to unpack their things as well, hanging their clothes for the service in the closet in hopes of the wrinkles working themselves out before the morning. The photographer then put the rest of her belongings in the dresser. Helen followed suit in quietness until both were finished.

Helen could tell just in her wife's mannerisms that she was not up for conversation, even with her, but she also knew instinctively that the taller woman wanted her company. Following the older woman out onto the balcony, she took a seat next to her. They didn't exchange a word as Torrance pretended to read a book and Helen presumed to admire the view. However, the smaller woman could tell by the slow speed of her lover's reading that Torrance's mind was elsewhere. In an effort to help alleviate the restlessness she knew Torrance was feeling, Helen stood and moved behind the older woman. Without a word she began to gently rub the hard shoulders under her hands. The photographer moaned lightly in appreciation at the act but still didn't speak. Helen continued for a few minutes, running her hands up her beloved's neck into her brown, graying hair. Torrance whimpered again as petite hands started massaging her scalp.

Finally not able to stand the affection any longer without saying something, the older woman whispered, "That feels so good, honey."

Helen smiled to herself and leaned to her lover's ear. Kissing the rim of it lightly, she answered, "Good. That's what I'm here for, Torrance. I want to do anything I can to help you."

The photographer let out a low chuckle. "Well, I'll tell you that if you keep doing that, I might be in need for some other kind of attention."

Helen smiled again and kissed Torrance's ear once more. Breathlessly she mumbled, "That certainly would be a nice diversion."

"Do you feel up to it though?" the older woman inquired as she felt her wife slipping her reading glasses from her face.

Green eyes met green for a moment. Helen sighed regretfully. "I wish I was, baby, but I don't think I can."

Torrance gave her a sympathetic gaze as she cupped her angel's face. "It's okay. I understand. We don't have to. I don't want to put you in any more pain than you already are, Helen."

The former teacher moved to sit on her wife's lap. She merely gazed into the photographer's eyes a moment before she smirked sexily. "I have another idea," she mentioned. "Be right back."

Torrance wondered where her lover was going, but a few minutes later, Helen returned with something in her hand. Looking at it, the photographer immediately knew what the blonde had in mind. The younger woman came and knelt between her wife's legs. "Helen, you don't have to if you don't feel up to it," the older woman mentioned hesitantly.

Giving Torrance a reassuring grin, Helen answered, "It would bring me as much pleasure as it would you to do this, Torrance. You know that."

"Then do what you will. You know I'm always grateful of your attentions."

Knowing that she had her companion's consent, Helen reached for the taller woman's belt and opened it slowly. Instantly Torrance's breathing hitched in anticipation as small fingers unzipped her pants. Helen pulled her wife's shirt out of her slacks and began to unbutton it leisurely, kissing every piece of skin that came into view. When that was complete, her attentions went back to the photographer's pants. Torrance assisted the process a little by lifting her hips enough for Helen to pull them down to her knees. The green-eyed blonde gently raised the photographer's legs. Torrance followed the silent instruction, bracing herself with her feet on the balcony railing as Helen's head neared its destination.

Torrance groaned as she felt the blonde kiss her inner thigh. With them focusing on trying to impregnate Helen, it wasn't often that Torrance got to feel her wife's mouth on her body this way. Instinctively her hands found perch in fair hair as the former model's mouth neared its goal. As soon as Helen's tongue reached her, the photographer seemed to forget about everything else as the feeling of her beloved bestowing her touch took Torrance immediately to the edge. She became vaguely aware of the toy her wife had brought from home slipping inside of her, but in an unexpected turn of pleasure, Helen began to use her mouth on the double-ended phallus. Quickly Torrance found the precipice again. However, after descending from it, Helen went back to just gently pumping it in and out and a slow pace.

"Torrance," she whispered as she kissed up to her lover's stomach.

"What?" the older woman breathlessly inquired, wondering why her wife got a sudden urge to speak during their activity.

"May I ask you something?" she muttered as her tongue dipped into the brunette's navel as the phallus once again entered the older woman.

"Anything, Helen. What is it?" she asked, barely able to concentrate on anything but the feeling the blonde was creating.

"What if I told you I wanted to do something truly naughty to you with this dildo. What would you say?"

Opening her green eyes, Torrance cast a curious glance at her wife. Seeing the amorous glint in the eyes she adored, the taller woman answered, "I'd say you could do anything you wanted to me. Exactly what did you have in mind?" she playfully inquired.

Helen didn't answer the question. Instead she dipped her head again to feast upon the brunette. Torrance's eyes rolled shut as she felt the phallus being removed and her wife's manicured fingers taking its place. She moaned, first in satisfaction but then in loss when she felt them leave her body. However, within only a moment, they were back again, touching the one place on her body that the blonde had never explored. Torrance jumped in surprise at the feeling of the blonde's finger at her other entrance. Meeting the former teacher's gaze, they just looked at each other a moment.

"Is this okay?" hesitantly Helen queried.

"Of course. I'm just surprised. If this is what you want, you can have it. You know I'd give you anything. You don't even have to ask," the older woman replied.

"Have you ever done this?" Helen inquired inquisitively.

"No. Have you?"

"No, never," the shorter woman stated.

Cracking a smile, the photographer joked, "Oh goody. Looks like we get to lose our virginity to each other after all. Are you going to let me do it to you if I let you do it to me?"

"If you want to. We just have to wait until I'm feeling better."

Torrance nodded in understanding. "Well, then. What are you waiting for?" the older woman questioned, guiding her wife's head down between her legs again.

With the decision made, Helen went back to her task. Even though Torrance was slightly anxious about her lover's request, she was determined to give Helen all of herself, no matter what it included. Knowing what Helen had in mind, Torrance tried to relax her body to accommodate her lover's wishes. When the moment was at hand, the photographer simply allowed Helen the latitude to do as she desired, and with that relinquishment came a surprising pleasure she had never known about until in the arms of her dearest love.

When it appeared the brunette could take no more, Helen slowly pulled out of her lover. Torrance only sighed in contentment and reached for the blonde, cradling her head into her stomach. For a moment there was only breathing, but then the blonde heard quiet weeping. Looking up at her wife, Helen asked softly, "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

Torrance shook her head. "No. I just--you are the love of my life, Helen. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you," she said.

"You're never going to lose me. I'll always be here."

The older woman shook her head. "That's not true. We all have a time. Nonno had a time, and look at Nonna. She's devastated," she cried.

"Torrance, my love, it's true we all have a time. Death is a part of life. I can't help that any more than you. However, you will have my love until the moment we cease to be. As painful as it is for Nonna now, I know that she would not have wanted to miss out on the last seventy years with Nonno. Every moment of happiness far outweighs what she's feeling now. It will take time for her to realize that Nonno is still here with us. He now just lives in our hearts instead of our lives."

"She spent virtually her entire life with him. He was her life as she was his. I want that. I want to spend my life with you."

"We will, Torrance. We'll always be together."

"Regardless of what happens?" the older woman inquired.

Helen looked up at the woman she loved. "No matter what happens we'll always have each other." Silence ensued for several more minutes before the blonde mentioned, "It's getting late, and we have to be up early tomorrow. Perhaps we should get to bed."

The taller woman nodded in agreement. Helen stood and offered her hands to Torrance in assistance. The brunette chuckled lightly as her wife pulled her to her feet. "I sure hope none of my family heard us out here," she stated as she reached down to retrieve her slacks that were around her ankles.

"Even if they did, don't you want them to know that I treat you well?" the shorter woman teased.

"They already know that. They don't have to hear me screaming your name in the throes of sex to know it," the photographer bantered, wrapping her arms around her lover. Together they moved into their bedroom and prepared for bed, knowing that the next day would be rough emotionally for the both of them.

The next day the entire family was up for an early breakfast and then attended the service for the man they had all admired. Torrance was not surprised that many people from the village were in attendance as well as guests from across the country. Being that her grandfather had been an influential businessman in the community, it only made sense for his service to be full of mourners.

However, once the service was over and all the cordial visitation with guests had been attended to by the family, they were all left with their thoughts. Torrance needed the solitude to grieve after being surrounded by people, so while Helen put their kids down for their naps, she took a walk to her favorite place in the vineyard to contemplate the events of the last several days.

Taking a seat at the base of the middle of the three crosses that sat on a small hill at the far side of the grove, the photographer thought about her father's father and him leaving the earth in the very spot she now occupied. Then her thoughts shifted to Nonno. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of him being gone. With her other grandfather, she had expected it, because he had been ill for such an extended time. However, with Nonno it was different. She never thought when she had seen him the last time that she would never see him again, and she felt empty that she had not been able to tell him good bye.

She thought of the last hug he ever gave her, his strong arms around her shoulders just as she, Helen, and their kids were about to get on a plane and head back to the States. Looking in his eyes then, Torrance had never once thought it would be the last time. Had she known, she would have spent more time looking into his eyes and studying the curves of his face to burn them into her soul for safekeeping. As it was, the image of him standing at the terminal with her grandmother wishing them a safe journey home haunted her at the moment, because she had been too concerned with her own children who had been dawdling to take the time with him, and he was now gone.

Closing her eyes, she allowed the emotions to overcome her as she wept into a lightly sleep. She only awoke much later when a shadow was cast over her frame, blocking the sunlight from her face. Disoriented, she looked up toward the intruder on her privacy. Her eyes traveled up thin jean-encased legs past a white cotton blouse to the fair hair and green eyes of her wife. Helen was looking down on her in concern.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. It's just that you've been out here for hours, so I thought I should check on you," the blonde said, squatting so she was eye-level with her companion.

Torrance took a moment to wake as she gazed at the beauty before her. "I just needed some time alone," she mumbled, stretching her tall frame.

"I understand. Are you ready to come back to the house?"

"Not yet," the older woman replied, reaching for the blonde's hands. She brought Helen down into her lap. Nuzzling the fair hair, she whispered, "Thank you for being here."

"Anything for you. You know that."

Torrance nodded. Not wanting to talk about her grandfather at the moment though, she idly surveyed the blonde's clothes. "Since when do you wear jeans?" she asked casually.

The smaller woman shrugged. "I just felt like buying a pair when I went shopping with Sarah and Renee. Do you not like them?"

"Are you kidding me? I think they are just about the sexiest thing I've ever seen on you," Torrance growled playfully as her hands roamed over the clothing of discussion. "In fact it makes me want what I know is hiding behind the seam of those jeans," she mentioned as her right hand came to rest between her wife's thighs.

Helen sighed. "I wish I could give you that right now, Torrance," she said with regret.

"I know, but it's okay. I want you to fully recover first. I wouldn't dream of putting you in more pain just to satisfy my desires at the moment. You know I'll wait forever if I have to."

"That's why I love you so much."

"I love you too, Helen."

A moment passed before the blonde whispered, "You know, I'm really sorry about what happened concerning the baby."

"It's not your fault, honey. There was nothing you could have done."

Helen shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder. I got so distraught when I thought you and Georgia had been intimate that I wonder if I did something that caused this to happen," she confessed as she began to cry.

"Don't even think that, darling. Women have miscarriages all the time. I know that doesn't make it easier, but this kind of thing does happen for reasons people can't explain. You didn't cause this. Nothing you could have done would have ever caused this to happen. I know for a fact that regardless of what you thought might have happened, you would have still given that baby your top priority. That's the kind of woman you are, Helen, and I love you for it. Believe me when I tell you that this was not your fault in any way."

"I want to desperately, Torrance," she replied.

After several minutes, Helen's tears slowed, and the conversation resumed. "Helen, I'm beginning to wonder with all our difficulties in conceiving that we might not be meant to have a third child. I mean, have you thought about that at all?"

The blonde nodded. "I think about it all the time, but, Torrance, I want to have another baby."

"Why? I mean, I don't need another child to feel fulfilled. Is this something you truly need?"

"I don't know if you could ever truly understand what is in my heart, Torrance. All I can say is that I long for another child. The need I have to carry another baby that we brought into this world out of our love consumes me. It's a gift I want to give you, and I would do anything to make that happen. The window is beginning to close for us, Torrance. I'm thirty-five, and even though I know women can have children in their forties, I want one now. I don't want to wait another five or ten years. I want our children to be close in age, they way I am with my brother and sister. This is the only time we have, and I want to seize it."

Torrance nodded. "All right. We'll keep trying if it is something you truly want."

"I do."

"Fine. Maybe we should consider some other method of conception though. Things aren't going as smoothly as they have in the past."

"This is the way I prefer, but at this point I am a little frustrated with things as well," the younger woman mentioned.

"Then perhaps we should go back to the fertility clinic we've been using and see what else is available to us," the photographer suggested.

Conceding to the idea, Helen answered, "Maybe we should."

Pulling her wife closer into her arms, Torrance said, "I won't give up on this dream if you don't, but let's be realistic about when it might be time to stop if we see things aren't working. I want to do this for you, Helen, but I don't want to spend the next five or ten years trying for something that might not happen. I want you back, baby. I don't want every time we make love as a chance to conceive. I'd really like to just make love to you, because the need strikes me. That's what I'm missing most about this endeavor, the opportunity to just be close to you. It seems like you are so focused on the conception of this child that it means everything. I know you don't truly feel that way, but there are moments when it seems like it. Just give me a date, Helen, and we'll stick to it, whatever it is."

Helen could hear in her lover's voice that Torrance was going along with what she wanted out of her love, but she could also hear the doubts lining the photographer's tone. Knowing that it was only fair to the brunette to give them a timetable, the blonde nodded. "All right, Torrance. Just give it one more year. If we aren't pregnant again by this time next year, let's reconsider other avenues. There are other ways of bringing a child into our lives, but this is the one I really want. However, I understand how you feel. I've been going out of my way to try to be available for those spontaneous moments of passion, but I guess I am getting caught up in trying to get pregnant again. I guess in some way I'll feel like I've failed if we can't conceive again."

"Never, Helen. You're an absolutely perfect woman in my eyes. You could never fail me or our love. That's just never going to happen. Let's just relax. We'll keep trying, and if it works, then I'll feel blessed that it did. If it doesn't, I'll still feel blessed that I have you and the children."

******************************************************************

Back in Manhattan Blake was doing her best to keep what little life she had left together. Georgia was adamant in her pursuit of the children, so within days she was served papers to appear in court for a child custody suit. Knowing that she could no longer keep the situation from the rest of her fellow co-workers, she asked her prized junior attorney, Jeff Delgatto, to serve as her counsel on that matter since he had secretly served in that capacity for the discreet divorce papers Blake has requested.

When the day came for their appearance, both he and Blake put on a strong front, even though secretly the older woman was barely keeping her sanity after losing the woman she loved and the threat of having her children taken from her. Walking into the courthouse, Blake immediately saw Georgia sitting with her mother, Jack, and her own attorney on the far side of the lobby. The kids saw her as well and took off in her direction, screaming happily as she gave them her best smile.

Kneeling down, the little blonde embraced both of her children as they got to her. Looking over their heads, she saw Blake standing there stoically with Jeff and Renee close behind her. However, she didn't bother to greet the attorney. Instead she looked at Lana and Luke and asked them how they were.

The older woman just watched, hurt. She hated the fact that it had come to this with the southern beauty. She still loved Georgia desperately. Her thoughts were interrupted by Jack coming to her. He extended his hand. "How are you, Yankee?" he asked.

Blake shook his hand. Even though he was Georgia's ex-husband, they were still business partners at the restaurant. "I've been better, Jack. How are you? How's Vincent?"

"Vincent's fine. I, on the other hand, am extremely distressed over what's happenin' between you and Georgia."

"You're not the only one, Jack."

"Look, Yankee, I owe you my life. I've never forgotten that, but you're hurtin' Georgia, and I won't stand for it. I don't care if we are partners."

"She's doing her fair share of hurting me, Jack. This is a two-way street. I know you have to do what you think is best, and I don't hold it against you. You can be mad at me privately all you want, but let's just make sure this doesn't affect business. That's all I really care about right now. According to our prenup, Georgia's lost all her rights to the restaurant, so you and Cindy just have to deal with me as the major shareholder. I own more than fifty percent of the place, so the three of us are just going to have to work it out."

Jack nodded. "I am mad at you, Blake. You shouldn't have done this, but you have my word on the restaurant. I'm not goin' to sink it intentionally as long as you don't. By the way, when Cindy found you in bed with your nanny, she asked me to buy her out. She don't want nothin' to do with you, Blake, so it's just you and me fightin' it out. Personally I think you should sell out to me now. You always said you'd sell me your shares when the time came. That time is now."

Blake shook her head. "I don't have time for this now, Jack. Besides, how do you plan on affording that proposition?"

"Vincent and I have the means. I want your shares, Yankee. Just think 'bout it."

Dismissing the idea with a wave of her hand, she mumbled, "Fine. I'll think about it. Now if that's all, I have more pressing matters." Jack nodded and started to step away, but Blake took him by the arm. "Tell me one thing, Jack. How's Georgia doing with this?"

Both of them looked toward the woman of conversation. The writer looked tired under all the pretense for the children. "Why do you care? You're the one that asked for the divorce. If you're that curious, why don't you ask her? It's not my place to discuss it."

When her business partner made her way back to her ex-wife, Blake turned to go where Jeff and Renee had taken seats. Dropping onto the bench, Blake sighed. Seeing the younger woman with her children made her want to cry. The sight of it was so beautiful and tragic, especially since she knew that woman was no longer hers. She had been the one to initiate the divorce, and Georgia had not contested it, meaning that it truly was over between them. Since Jeff had filed the papers on the brunette's behalf, their marriage no longer existed, but much to Blake's heartache, her love for Georgia still did.

When their case was finally called to be heard, Blake and Georgia both went into the courtroom with their respective attorneys, leaving their children in the care of Renee, Jack, and their grandmother in the lobby. Neither wanted Luke and Lana to be present for the ugliness that was sure to ensue on their behalf behind the large oak doors. Heading directly to their table, Blake and Jeff sat huddled closely together, going over last minute preparations.

Georgia just watched the display. Inwardly she feared that Blake was going to be unmerciful to her in such a public setting, but she knew she had to remain strong for the children she loved. Even though she and the attorney couldn't work out their problems, she knew she had to have a life with her kids, so she resolved to take any action necessary to do so.

When the judge entered all four of them rose respectfully before taking seats again. Since Georgia had filed the suit, her attorney was allowed to make the first statement. The taller woman listened attentively as her ex-wife's attorney verbal assaulted her abilities to be a suitable parent for Lana and Luke. However, instead of showing any outward reaction, she merely gazed over at the woman across the room from her. Georgia's head was hung low, a far difference from the feisty woman Blake knew.

As the younger woman's representation closed his open argument, Jeff stood and buttoned his suit jacket. Moving around the front of the desk where Blake was sitting, he launched into his own prepared speech of how Georgia had ruined their marriage and reasons for not giving custody to the writer. As Blake listened to Jeff drone on about the blonde's faults, she began to feel remorse for taking the course of action she had set Jeff upon. It had been her idea to demoralize her ex-wife's character in an attempt of winning the suit, but as she sat listening to Jeff spinning a picture of the worst side of the woman she loved, she felt her heart breaking.

Before she could stop herself, she rose from her chair and stated, "Excuse me, your honor."

Immediately Jeff stopped speaking and turned toward her in confusion. "Blake, what are you doing?" he inquired.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. I have to do this," she said. Looking at the judge, she continued, "Your honor, if I could, I would like to say something."

"By all means, Counselor Erwin, speak," the judge, whom Blake knew well professionally responded.

"You honor, Georgia Erwin abandoned her children. She left them for several months without so much as phone calls to check up on them. However, just as her counsel as stated, I too abandoned them. I worked longer hours than necessary consistently. I made my professional career the top priority in life, and when my wife tried to do the same, it ended with us divorced. Now we can't repair our relationship. It's too late for us. However, as I was sitting in the lobby waiting for our hearing, I realized I don't want the same thing to happen to our kids. Luke and Lana need Georgia in their life as much as they need me. They are our children. We are their parents, jointly. I'm prepared to accept joint custody of the children with Georgia with a few conditions. If it is satisfactory to her counsel, I would like to settle this out of court with a moderator if possible."

The judge looked over to Georgia and questioned, "Ms. Erwin, would you and your counsel like to take Counselor Erwin's proposition?"

Georgia met Blake's eyes for a moment as she contemplated the offer. She could hear her attorney whispering something into her ear, but she didn't heed it. All that she could focus on was Blake's eyes as they bored into hers. After a moment she turned to her attorney and gave a response. Blake could tell that Georgia's attorney disagreed with whatever Georgia had stated but turned and stood before the judge.

With defeat evident in his voice, the writer's attorney answered, "Ms. Erwin will accept the proposition of a moderator."

"Wonderful. Then please adjourn to the conference room. The bailiff will escort you. I will have a moderator sent in directly. Attorneys, wait in the lobby until you are needed again."

Silently Georgia and Blake followed the bailiff to the conference room. As instructed, Jeff and Georgia's counsel were forced to wait outside the room. When the bailiff closed the door, Blake waited for Georgia to sit before doing so herself, choosing a spot across from her. Neither spoke as they waited. However, every once in awhile they snuck glances at each other.

Finally when the younger woman couldn't control her curiosity any longer she looked at her ex. "Why are you doing this, Blake?" she questioned cooly.

"Because it's right for the children," she replied shortly.

A few minutes later the moderator arrived and introduced herself before taking a seat at the end of the table. After she was settled, she asked, "Very well. Who would like to speak first?"

"It was your idea, Blake. You talk," Georgia stated distantly.

"Fine. I propose joint custody for us, and I only have one non-negotiable demand. I don't want the children taken out of the state without my acknowledgment and consent. In order to get that, I demand a full itinerary of where they are going and when they are to return. I must agree to the terms of the travel before it can take place. You might want to skip town again, Georgia, but I don't want you doing it with the children in tow."

The moderator looked at the blonde. "Georgia, what about you? Are there any terms you have that would be non-negotiable?"

"As a matter of fact, there are. I also have one demand. Blake, you have to fire Renee, and she must vacate the premises in a reasonable amount of time. I don't want her 'round the children. If you will do that, we will choose a nanny together that will be with the kids as they travel back and forth between us."

Blake pondered the request for a few moments before answering, "Fine. Renee's gone if you agree to my terms."

"Fine, Blake. However, I want you to know now that I fully intend to take them to Nawlins. I am goin' to make that my primary residence, so the children will travel there often."

As much as Blake didn't want to agree to letting the children go down there, she knew to disagree would be harmful to their mediation. "The nanny will be with them the entire time. They will travel with the kids regardless of where they go, and they are not allowed to leave New York until we agree on who will fill the duty. Not only that, I don't want them gone for more than one week at a time."

"Two weeks at a time," Georgia bartered.

Blake thought about it a moment. "The children will be schooled in New York and only here. They will not be taken out of school early or start school late for travel. As far as breaks, they can be in New Orleans for up to two weeks at a time. We alternate holidays. During the school year, they are free to stay with you at your residence in New York for your allotted time. No going to New Orleans during the school year unless it's on a break."

It was Georgia's turn to mull over the proposition. Knowing the potential that Blake had to turn things atrocious, she figured that the attorney was being quite generous in her offer. Deciding to give into the demands set forth, she nodded her head. "Fine. I'm fine with all of that."

Within an hour they moved back into the courtroom with their attorney's after the mediation. With the moderator standing between both parties, she announced the terms of the agreement to the judge. He nodded attentively before addressing the group. "Since both of you have agreed to the terms set forth, I order that they be put into effect immediately. A formal agreement will be written for you to sign later, but as of now you all will work under the written agreement you came up with and signed under witness of this moderator. Case dismissed."

As soon as the judge had left chambers, Blake quickly made her way out into the lobby. Her kids greeted her with hugs. Georgia was close behind and received the same greeting. "All right, Lana and Luke, you two are going with your Mama for the rest of the day. Say good bye to Renee and Jeff." Both three-year-olds did as they were told. Looking at the writer, Blake said, "When can I expect them home?"

"If it's all right with you, I'd like to keep them tonight," Georgia requested civilly. "After all, it's been so long since I've been with them."

"Fine. You'll be at your mother's?"

"Yes. I'll bring them back tomorrow evenin'." With a nod Blake knelt and hugged her kids again before heading out of the building.

Jeff hailed a cab to go back to the office, and Blake and Renee did the same to head home. Once they were in the backseat, the blonde inquired, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, we need to but not here. We'll talk at home," she mumbled looking out the window. Silence ensued for the rest of the drive. Going up into the loft, Blake went into her bedroom to change. By the time she had returned, Renee was setting lunch on the table for the two of them. Graciously the attorney thanked her nanny before taking a seat.

"So, tell me. I can tell you're upset," Renee said, trying to get right to the point.

"I am, Renee. There's something I have to tell you, but it pains me to do so."

"Just tell me, Blake. Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't that bad. Did you and Georgia come to an amiable agreement?"

"We came to an agreement, but it cost me something in return."

"Which was?"

"You," plainly the older woman answered, looking at the nanny for the first time since she'd taken her seat. "I'm sorry, Renee, but according to the terms of our custody agreement, I'm required to terminate you. Georgia has asked that we find a new nanny, one that we both agree upon. I am required to fire you and ask that you vacate your room within a month," she commented.

"Oh," Renee mumbled quietly. Neither said anything for a moment. However, then the young blonde shrugged, saying, "I understand why you have to do it, Blake. I know Georgia doesn't like me. She never did. Actually, when I first met her, I thought she would have demanded you do this sooner. I knew she wouldn't allow me to be here past my probationary period if she had a say in it. She and I just don't mix well."

"I'm sorry, Renee. You know, you are the hardest person I've ever had to fire. This goes beyond business. This is a personal vendetta that Georgia has against you. Nevertheless, I had to agree to it to get the terms I wanted. Effective immediately you are released of your duties. I will give you a generous compensation package and glowing recommendation to anyone that you ask me to. That's all I can do at this point."

The twenty-five-year-old nodded. "Thank you for that much, Blake. Now I have to tell you something. Because I knew how Georgia felt about me, I had already started looking for a new position, and I have a few leads. I would like to take you up on the offer of recommendations."

"Certainly. Whatever you need."

Giving the graying brunette a smile, Renee said, "Blake, don't feel bad about this. I'll be fine."

"I'll try," the attorney conceded.

The rest of the day Blake did work at home. That night Renee convinced her that they should go out and take advantage of the opportunity of being without the kids, so they went to the younger woman's favorite place for dinner before returning to the apartment upon which Blake immediately retired to her room. Getting into her pajamas, she slid into bed with a book and her reading glasses. However, she stared blankly at the pages as she thought of the day. For the first time since she had petitioned for a divorce, the attorney felt the true finality.

The life she had known for the last four years was gone. Her Georgia, the woman who made her feel so much, was no longer a fixture in her life. It had all happened so quickly that she barely had time to process it. Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander over the life she had been so quick to abandon. Suddenly a knock on her closed door broke her musings.

Renee poked her head into the room and gave a small smile. "You feel like company?" she questioned softly.

"Yeah, sure," Blake answered. She watched as the younger woman moved into the room. Renee was dressed a short robe, but the brunette couldn't tell what was underneath it.

Tentatively the blonde took a seat on the bed facing the older woman. "How are you holding up?"

The taller woman shrugged. "It's strange not to have them here. It's too quiet."

The nanny nodded. "Well, I'm sure it's only a matter of getting used to it. It seems that the two of you came to a real compromise today. That's the best you two have acted with each other in awhile. What brought that on?"

"I just saw them with her today and realized I'd only be hurting them to take her away. They love her, and I want what's best for them. As much as I don't like it, I know this is what's best."

"That's a very mature approach to take, especially after all that's happened."

"I suppose it is," the taller woman muttered.

"Blake, I'm proud that you could put your hurt aside for the good of your kids. It just proves what a wonderful parent you really are. I hope someday to have a spouse just like you," she teased.

Blake smiled ruefully. "I'm not exactly a good example of what a spouse should be," she whispered. "After all, I did hire the youngest and hottest nanny I could find intentionally to get under my wife's skin. I accomplished that with disastrous results. Instead of luring her back, I ended up here."

"Do you think that this might be for the best? I mean both of you finally get what matters to you. You both get to have the careers you wanted and the kids. As much as you care for your family, it's obvious your job is your first love."

Blake shook her head. "I always thought I'd be miserable at this. I'm just not meant to be married I suppose. Commitment has never been a strong point for me. I guess that showed throughout my marriage to Georgia. I didn't commit my time to her that she felt she deserved." Blake paused a moment as if to ponder that comment before shaking her head. "Doesn't matter now. It's over. Enough about what should've been. Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure. That sounds good," Renee answered going to the other side of the bed. Unceremoniously she took off her robe revealing a short black chemise that barely covered her body before slipping into bed next to the attorney.

The older woman tried to ignore the fact that the woman who she had always found attractive and who was no longer under her employment was now lounging scantily clad in her bed. From numerous conversations, Blake knew how the little blonde felt about her, so she wondered if this was a ploy for them to be intimate. Nevertheless, she decided she was just not ready to pursue something like that with Renee and focused on the TV.

A few hours later the brunette yawned sleepily. Her ex-nanny had already fallen asleep next to her, so she quietly turned of the television and settled down on her own side of the bed. Clicking off the light, she sighed as she thought once again about the day. She wondered what Georgia was doing at the moment. She imagined her asleep in bed, her golden hair strewn around her and the covers molding to her form. Blake wished that she could be there with her, holding and protecting the woman she still loved in the darkness of night.

The following morning the attorney awoke to the sound of Renee's voice. Sleepily she opened her eyes and looked up at the twenty-five-year-old standing over her wearing a pretty smile and holding a tray. "Morning, sleepyhead. Time to rise and shine," she said, sitting the tray down on the bed next to Blake.

"What's this for?" the older woman inquired.

"You have to eat breakfast, Blake. You have a busy day ahead of you. You need energy," Renee answered, pouring cream into the attorney's coffee cup.

"Uh, did you forget that I fired you yesterday?" she teased. "You didn't have to make me breakfast."

The petite woman smiled at the attorney. "This is because I wanted to, Blake," she said cupping the side of the taller woman's face. Leaning in she kissed Blake softly on the lips. "Now be good and eat it."

"Hey. Wait. What about you?" Blake asked, clutching to the sash holding Renee's robe closed as she started to pull away. The movement cause the knot to untie and the folds fall open, exposing the skimpy lingerie underneath to the older woman's gaze.

Gamely, her former employee placed one knee up on the bed and leaned toward her slightly again, showing off a toned thigh and the expanse of her fair breasts. "I'm not eating that, Blake. That's not the kind of meal I like for breakfast. Now can I get you anything else to eat?" she whispered sexily.

Blake knew exactly what Renee was really asking. The blonde looked tempting that morning, and for the first time the older woman considered going through with what the blonde had obviously always wanted. Testing the waters, the brunette placed her hand on the younger woman's exposed thigh. Renee didn't respond at first, but Blake felt the skin under her hand warm to her touch.

"Sit with me, Renee, for a little while I eat this wonderful meal," she stated, her other hand moving to the blonde's opposite hip and maneuvering her all the way onto the bed. Compliantly the younger woman followed the direction and quickly sat straddled across the taller woman's waist. Blake smiled at her and reached for a piece of bacon off her plate. Taking a large bite into her mouth, she held the other part up for Renee, who took a bite as well. For the next few minutes the attorney ate her meal and leisurely fed her counterpart some as well, all the while with one hand perched on the blonde's hip, idly rubbing the satin material under her fingers. The process continued on until the plate was cleaned. "That was fabulous, Renee. Thank you," she complimented.

"You're welcome, Blake. How about some dessert now?" she inquired leaning closer and letting breath fan over the attorney's face.

Blake chuckled lowly as both her hands found their way under the short chemise Renee was wearing to her bare backside. She squeezed lightly eliciting a sexy moan from the younger woman. "And exactly what kind of dessert is on offer, Miss Summers?" she questioned as she ducked her head into the blonde's neck.

Renee cried out lightly as the attorney's mouth attached to her and began to suck with persistence. "Anything you want, Blake," she managed to reply.

"In that case," the older woman mumbled. Her hands left their spot and went to the robe Renee was wearing and slid it off the smaller woman. Immediately the smaller woman started to remove the rest of her own clothing, but Blake protested, pulling the chemise back into place. "No. Leave that on for now. It's so sexy on you," she whispered as their mouths locked together sensuously. The younger woman did as requested, allowing the garment to fall back into place as she pulled Blake closer. For several minutes the two kissed with rising fervor, but finally the attorney pulled back and looked at the woman on top of her. "You're a beautiful woman, Renee," she said softly stroking the smaller woman's cheek lightly.

The ex-nanny smiled at her former employer. "But?" she asked.

The taller woman shook her head. "No but. I just wanted to tell you that. Are you sure this is something you want?"

Renee nodded her head. "I've been patiently waiting for the right moment, Blake, to tell you. I'm glad you fired me. I didn't think I could stand it much longer anyway. That's why I really started looking for a new job, but if you can't, I'll understand."

"There's nothing stopping me, Renee. You aren't my employee, and I'm not married any more. This will just be the first time I've been with someone other than Georgia in a long time. I guess I've just kind of forgotten the spontaneity of it all."

"Well, don't let that stop us. We can go at whatever speed you're comfortable, Blake, as long as you want to go there."

The attorney nodded. "I want to go there, Renee," she answered confidently.

The blonde smiled. "Good. I was hoping you would. Let's just take our time then." Picking up the tray of food, she moved it down to the floor before sliding onto the bed next to the older woman. The attorney rolled onto her side and leaned to kiss the blonde again. Renee responded by slipping her arms around the brunette's neck. For several moments they simply kissed, but then the ex-nanny started to lift Blake's t-shirt over her head. The older woman allowed her to do so. Pulling back slightly, Renee mentioned, "You're so incredibly strong. How do you stay in such great shape when I never see you work out?"

"I have a gym at the office. It's a great stress reliever. I work out almost everyday," the strong woman murmured, kissing the blonde's neck as her hands reached under Renee's chemise again. Her hands stroked the smaller woman's hips lightly, slowly easing up the satin material. The twenty-five-year-old responded in kind, assisting the attorney with her pajama pants. Soon the tall woman was undressed, lying between the younger woman's thighs. Kissing her way down over Renee's breasts, Blake brought her hand up between her legs and slowly began to tease her.

Instantly Renee cried out as her hips jerked in response to the expert touch. "Please, Blake. Don't torment me," she beseeched, pressing the dark head closer to her frame.

The attorney chuckled lowly before giving her companion a one-sided grin. "You want me? You want me inside of you?" she questioned needlessly, methodically stroking the blonde everywhere except where she wanted it most.

"Yes, baby. I always have," the shorter woman moaned in reply.

Knowing how much she wanted it as well, Blake gave in to her carnal desires, completing their connection. Renee clutched her tightly and groaned with growing fervor as the attorney set a leisurely pace at first. However, by the passing minutes both of them started to gain momentum as the blonde's body undulated fiercely into the one above hers, and Blake catered to her former employee's physical need. Soon they were rocking at an erratic pace, both heaving loudly from the exertion. A few minutes later the blonde reached an intense peak, leaving her exhausted for the time being.

The attorney just lay there on top of the younger woman in silence, her arms around Renee. Her body gave the pretense of relief as well, but she quickly realized the encounter was nothing like she thought it would be. Something was missing from the moment. Something was absent from the blonde's embrace. Blake knew exactly what it was by the emptiness of her heart. What was lacking was the woman she loved. Subtly casting a glance over at her clock, she wondered how long she would have to lie there with Renee before retreating to the shower alone, but the decision was taken from her a few minutes later.

Renee stretched her body under Blake's and sighed. "That was quite the nice diversion," she commented with a smile.

"Yeah," the older woman replied, trying to act normally.

"I really have to get going though, Blake. I have an interview in a bit. Forgive me for just bailing on you, will you?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Thanks. Maybe there will be more where that came from later if you're up for it," the former nanny stated.

"Maybe. With the kids around it might be complicated though."

The smaller woman nodded in response as the attorney let her rise from the bed. "We'll play it by ear then." Leaning down she kissed Blake softly on the lips. "Have a good day."

"You too. Thanks for breakfast."

"Anytime, sexy," the younger woman answered with an alluring smile and wink before taking her leave.

When Blake was alone she rolled onto her back and gave a heavy sigh. Even though Renee's body was responsive to her, she was left completely unsatisfied by the rendezvous. She knew it had nothing to do with the enchanting twenty-five-year-old, because the attorney was attracted to her. She had even fantasized about having the younger woman. Rather it was the fact that the only woman she truly wanted to be with was the Southern beauty queen she had married four years ago.

However, she knew there was nothing she could do about it. They were divorced according to the state, and Georgia was free to do as she pleased with whomever she chose. Feeling the weight of the divorce more acutely than she ever had, the attorney started to cry. In that moment she knew she had acted rashly out of jealousy and hurt and divorcing the blonde was not what she had truly wanted. Instead she wished Georgia would have come back begging for another chance, but when the smaller woman hadn't done so and instead signed the papers without a fight, the attorney was so enraged at Georgia's apparent blas� attitude that she escalated her poor behavior into something unforgivable. When she accused the writer of being no better than a prostitute and the younger woman had slapped her for the comment, Blake knew there was no way to reconcile. She had let her emotions guide her into saying something she didn't mean, and there was no way to rectify the situation. Georgia had left her, and Blake felt that the blonde had been right in doing so after the way the attorney had treated her. Wondering if her heart would ever get over the woman she loved, Blake knew she had to do her best to continue on as well as she could now that Georgia was gone.

****************************************************************

By the fall of that year, Torrance and Helen were once again trying to conceive their third child. However instead of going about it in the fashion of their other two children, they finally conceded to get some help from the fertility clinic. They had made several trips after Helen had recovered physically from her miscarriage to try a more scientific method of artificial insemination. Even though Torrance and Helen had both enjoyed the passion of trying to conceive themselves, they both were resolved to the fact if they were going to have a third child, they needed help. However, there had been a small consolation in as much as the doctors had allowed Torrance to inject Helen whenever they were there for treatment.

Neither of them spoke about the matter to any of their family or friends, because they didn't want to have to deal with the sympathies they were sure to get if they were not successful in their endeavor. It was emotionally painful enough for both of them to have to go this route that they weren't sure they could handle more disappointment if things didn't work, especially knowing their families would only try to support them but making it worse for Helen who had still not truly recovered emotionally from their loss.

One afternoon in late October Torrance had just returned from the city from a photo shoot when she found her beloved playing in the living room with John and Marta. Helen greeted her with an excited smile as the photographer joined them all on the floor. The older woman hugged her kids and then leaned to give Helen a kiss on the cheek.

"You're in a good mood," she mentioned. The blonde nodded. "Why? What's going on?" the brunette questioned curiously.

The shorter woman leaned to her wife's ear, kissing her on the neck gently before whispering, "It worked, Torrance."

Playfully the photographer growled as she answered, "It certainly is working."

Helen slapped her jokingly in the stomach, making the older woman laugh. "You know what I mean, Torrance."

Smiling at her spouse, the taller woman nodded. "I know exactly what you mean, sweetheart," she murmured leaning to kiss her again. "This is great news. Did the doctors confirm how far along you were?"

"Four weeks. I guess our after-session activities helped a bit," the blonde teased with a flush, referring to their passionate encounter at the clinic after the doctor had left them alone to allow Helen to dress. One comforting kiss that the photographer had bestowed on her wife had suddenly initiated a fiery session of spontaneous lovemaking on the doctor's stool in the examination room. It was something that the blonde had giggled about the entire ride home. The older woman had teased her unmercifully for the former model's sudden amorousness that day, even though she was grateful for her wife's playful return.

"Oh, Helen, I'm so happy for us. You need to be careful now. Make sure you take it easy," Torrance stated caressing her lover's cheek softly.

"I will. I won't let anything happen this time," she assured.

Torrance smiled at her consolingly, knowing she still felt some guilt about losing their other child, but she didn't mention it. Instead she just kissed her wife again before turning her attentions to her children. "So, what are we going to do tonight?" she asked them.

"Mommy said Aunt Blake was coming over with Lana and Luke," John announced. "Eve and Stephen are coming too."

"Oh really? What's the occasion?" Torrance inquired. "Why are all our best friends coming to the house?"

"No occasion. I just thought it would be nice. Jamie's on location, so I thought we'd give Sarah a little break, and as for Blake, you know she can always use a hand. She's bringing their new nanny too. It should be interesting."

"Yeah. What do we know about this new nanny? What's her name?"

"Her name is Anne. She's thirty-five, but most importantly to Georgia she's straight," Helen teased.

Torrance laughed. "I guess that's a good thing for both of them. No competition. I figured that was the way they were going to have to go. Had she been gay and too feminine, Blake might have tried to sway her, and if she had been more like Blake, Georgia might have tried to as well."

Helen nodded. "It's so sad to watch them, Torrance. It's obvious to me that they both still love each other. I don't understand why Blake did this."

"Well, Georgia did as well. She could have contested the divorce, but she didn't. Leads me to believe she wasn't interested in saving their marriage either."

The blonde nodded. "I miss her, Torrance. Georgia has been my best friend for the last five years. It's hard not seeing her as much as I used to. New Orleans is so far away from New York, and even when she does come up here, I still don't see her. It's as if she wants to block out everything that has to do with Blake, even us. She's isolated herself from me, and I just don't know what to do. She'll talk to me on the phone if I call her, but she never calls me. She never wants to go out with me any more. I can't even get her to go shopping, just the two of us."

"I don't know, Helen. She doesn't talk to me either. I thought I was trying not to choose sides between them, but Blake has been my best friend for decades. I'm not letting her go, but I didn't want to lose Georgia either."

The younger woman nodded. "She's just turned into the one woman I never thought she would. I never thought she would turn into a workaholic, but she has. She's become another Blake, and I never thought that was possible."

The photographer shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she's happier this way. Her book has gotten excellent reviews. She's riding the tide of success. I mean I guess this was what she wanted. She made the Most Eligible list in the 'New York Blade's' last issue independently from Blake. The woman has just now come into her own, and she's not handling it the way we thought she would. I hope this doesn't last forever, but there is always the possibility that Georgia will not come back to us, Helen. That's just a potential reality we might have to face. When people get divorced, it's usually inevitable that the friends get divided as well as everything else."

The blonde gave a sorrowful nod of her head. "I just don't like going through this, and I'm not even the one that got divorced. I can only imagine the pain she's going through, but she just won't talk to me about it."

"Blake won't talk to me either. I think she regrets what she's done, but she too proud to admit that she made a horrible mistake. I know her well enough to see it in her eyes. I think if she could get Georgia back, she would try to do so, but from what I've heard the two of them don't talk except when it comes to the kids. They are strangely civil with each other, but their only conversation is about Luke and Lana. Blake has utterly messed this up, but for once I don't know how to help her. She has to decide if she really wants to try to reconcile, and if that's the case, she's got a lot of making up to do to Georgia and vice versa."

"I'm worried about Sarah and Jamie as well," Helen mentioned. "Sarah's told me that it's been pretty bad between she and Katrina with Jamie gone. Katrina wants to spend most of her time at Samantha and Doug's when she's not in school, and Sarah's finally given up and let her go over there. She doesn't know what to do, and with Jamie out in California, Katrina doesn't listen to a thing she tells her to do."

"Is that why Katrina's not coming tonight?"

"Sarah said she didn't want to come, that she wanted to be with her aunt and uncle instead."

"Poor thing. I know it's trying for her to have such a hectic schedule and raise three kids alone while Jamie's gone. At least when it was the other way around, Katrina did listen to Jamie."

"Well, we can only hope for the best for them too. I don't want to see them in the same position as Georgia and Blake."

"Me neither, Helen, me neither."

After several minutes of both of them playing with their children, the doorbell rang. The photographer rose to get it. Sarah was standing there with her two younger children and a smile for her friend. "Hey, Tor. How's it going?" she asked as they hugged.

"Good. How are you holding up with Jamie gone?"

The young blonde rolled her blue eyes. "I don't want to talk about that."

"All right. We won't. Come on in. The kids are excited that you're here. I just got home a little while ago, so I don't even know what's on the agenda yet."

"I don't think there is one except to let the kids play together and have some dinner," the actress stated, following the brunette into the living room.

Instantly John and Marta included Eve in their game as Sarah took a seat on the couch with Stephen. Torrance went into the kitchen to retrieve drinks for the adults before settling down next to the youngest blonde in the living room for adult conversation. Not too long after that the doorbell rang again, so the tallest woman got up to get it, leaving the two blondes talking about idle gossip on their mutual friends.

When Torrance opened the door, the attorney was standing there with an attractive redhead and the two kids. "Hey, Blake," she greeted with a smile.

"Hi, Tor. I'd like you to meet, Anne McDonald. She's the new nanny."

Extending her hand Torrance said, "It's nice to meet you, Anne. My wife told me you'd be here this evening. Welcome."

"Thank you."

Looking down at the twins, the photographer smiled at them. "And just how are my favorite niece and nephew today?" she asked.

"We're good, Aunt Tor," Luke answered for them before racing into the house to join the other kids. The adults followed more slowly. Helen had taken Torrance's vacated spot on the couch, so Anne took a chair as did Blake. The photographer then offered everyone beverages and went to get them before settling down next to her beloved.

The rest of the evening passed with easy conversation and a movie for the kids after dinner. Meanwhile the adults sat in the kitchen chatting about different things going on in their lives. Even though Helen and Torrance had the perfect opportunity to tell their friends about the blonde's pregnancy, they didn't. Instead they avoided the topic of their recent efforts so much so that their friends finally got the hint that they did not want to speak of it and moved on to other subjects.

However, once everyone had left for the night and the kids had gone to bed, Torrance and Helen sat on their balcony overlooking the dark water in the distance. The fall breeze made it cold, but the brunette had brought a blanket out for them to share, and so they sat together stargazing in silence for awhile. "Torrance," Helen whispered after a long while.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really nervous about this baby," she admitted.

"I know you are, honey. I'm nervous too. I don't want you to have to go through any more trauma trying to bring another baby into this world just for me."

"This baby is going to make it, Torrance. I can feel it. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure of that."

"I know you will and so will I, Helen."

"Tell me. Do you want a girl or a boy?"

The older woman shrugged. "It doesn't really matter to me. I would just feel blessed to have another child. Whatever God wants to give us is fine with me. What about you?"

"It doesn't matter. I kind of want it to be a surprise."

"You mean you don't want to know ahead of time?"

"No. I don't think I want to know ahead of time. Let's make it a complete surprise, Torrance. What do you say?"

"Okay. If that's what you want, sure. We can do that. That will just make it all that more exciting."

The blonde nodded in agreement. "I know that we're going to have to tell people eventually. How long do you want to wait?"

"I don't know. How long do you want to wait, darling? I mean we could conceivably not tell anyone until you start showing. That gives us three months. We can't wait forever."

"I know. I'm just scared of announcing it too soon. Let's wait until the fourth month. I'll just be beginning to show, and by then the doctors can gives us some idea of how things are progressing."

"Fine by me. I'll do whatever you want if it makes you happy. You know that," the brunette said, kissing her wife on the top of her golden head.

"I do. Thank you for being my wife, Torrance. There is no one better than you," the younger woman whispered.

"Except maybe you," Torrance mentioned lightly. "I'm blessed to have you, Helen, and I'm thankful everyday for your love and the kids. This one will just add to our happiness," she said, placing her hand on her beloved's midsection. "Come on now. We should get some sleep. You need your rest."

***************************************************************

Continued...

~ New York series ~
Love in Photographs
Georgia On My Mind
Stick to the Script
Vows of the Heart

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