Ironic
(originally Ironic)
tune by Alanis Morissette
(winsome smile, followed by a loud cackle)
Callisto: Miss me? Aww, you're too kind.
Filkstress: Ah, not really...
Callisto: Too bad. Sit down. Shut up. And listen.
(she begins to croon)
An evil man turned good
He found me (nasty grin) and died the next day
It's a dead rat in your Chardonnay
It's a hangman's pardon, two candlemarks too late
Isn't it ironic...don't you think?
Chorus
It's like raiding...on a wedding day
It's a free meal...when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just won't take
Who would have thought...it figures?
Mr. Pray it loud...was afraid to try
He packed the wounds with cloth, put his faith in the gods (disgusted
look)
He waited his whole damn life just to make that prayer
And as the patient crashed out he thought
"well isn't this cheap..."
And isn't it ironic...don't you think?
Chorus It's like raiding...on a wedding day
It's a free meal...when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just won't take
Who would have thought...it figures?
Well I have a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's ok and everything's going right
And I have a funny way of helping you doubt when
You think everything's going along...(nasty smile) everything blows up
Im in your face
A warring nation when you're on your way
A no-choking sign on your very first date
It's like ten thousand swords when all you need is a spear
It's like killing the man of your dreams
And then meeting your beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think?
A little too ironic...(giggles airily) and yeah, I really do think...
Chorus It's like raiding...on a wedding day
It's a free meal...when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just won't take
Who would have thought...it figures?
I have a funny way of sneaking up on you
I have a funny, funny way of helping you doubt
Helping you doubt...
You Oughta Know -- Callisto Style