Star Trek: Voyager
"Voyages of the Soul"
Episode V: Soul's Flight
By
Disclaimers: Paramount Pictures owns 'em, I'm just borrowing them.
Content Warning: This story depicts a loving relationship between two consenting adults of the same sex, if this idea bothers you in some fashion, please go find a nice J/C page, I know there's tons of them out there.
Spoilers: All of the Voyages of the Soul stories contain spoilers for all things Trek, but this story carries specific spoilers for the season 5 Voyager episodes of: In The Flesh, Once Upon A Time, Timeless, Infinite Regress, Nothing Human, Thirty Days, & Counterpoint.
Besides the normal disclaimers, this story carries a "please don't shoot the bard" disclaimer ; ).
Thank you to my beta readers. Your wisdom is invaluable.
All comments are welcome at: shaych3@yahoo.com
It was cool, and peaceful, and she floated, suspended in liquid, breath held, eyes closed against the salt sting of the sea-water. Dying is not so bad, she thought, preparing to accept the inevitable, and take in a lung full of the deadly fluid. I am only sorry that I caused Kathryn to go back on her promise. Then hands, forceful and strong gripped her shoulders, clasped her head and pulled it towards something, and a mouth fastened on hers. Something soft and warm probed against her lips and in shock, she opened her mouth. Air! Life-giving, wonderfully sweet air was being blown softly into her mouth. She inhaled, and opened her left eye. The artificial visual aid focused on a very welcome sight -- Kathryn's face, pressed close to hers, giving her oxygen. The breath/kiss ended and Seven found herself wishing that Kathryn would do it again…
"Regeneration cycle incomplete." The strident tones of the computer's voice announced as Seven of Nine stepped out of her alcove, fingers automatically moving to her lips. Lips that still tingled from the remembered sensation of the Captain's mouth on hers. Her heart was racing, and from previous self examinations, she knew that her hormone levels were somewhere in another quadrant. Seven closed her eyes in mute frustration. Why must this particular form of humanity assert itself now, of all times? Why must she be forced to endure all these conflicting emotions? She did not like how this -- crush -- as the doctor had labeled it affected her performance. Even Tuvok had remarked on her inattention to her duties since her near-death experience in the holodeck. Indeed, the Vulcan had suggested that she seek counseling with Commander Chakotay about the experience. But Seven would not seek out the former Maquis, nor would she ask the EMH, her mentor in the ways of humanity, about what she was feeling. Something deep inside of Seven told her that what was going on was intensely personal and should be kept to herself. And by no means should she breathe a word of it to the Captain.
This much she had learned from selectively browsing the Federation databanks regarding human mating customs. After she had become aware of her condition, and after she'd accepted that there was nothing to be done to change it, she had thrown herself into experiencing the crush wholeheartedly. Of course, she had discovered, there were several levels to a "crush" and beyond that, to "falling in love" with someone. Lately, she had begun to think that she had moved beyond the "crush" state, and was assimilating "falling in love". It was not pleasant. She did not want to add "love's" diversity to her personal collective, but it seemed she had no choice in the matter. Love was stronger, and it was she who was being assimilated. Seven paced around the cargo bay until she came to a wall, where she rested her palms against the cool duranium surface of the hull. Her head followed shortly, and she hoped that the chill of the metal would drive away the dizzying flurry of thoughts that had accompanied her every waking moment since they day she'd woken up on a bio-bed, her left leg wrapped in some kind of stiff casing.
The injuries of the holodeck were so severe that the doctor had had to reconstruct her leg from the knee down and months later, she was still undergoing physical therapy every day to regain the full strength and use of the leg. Only her nanoprobes had saved her leg from full amputation, though she had thought at more than one point that removal would have been preferred to the grueling exercises the holodoc designed for her. So much had happened since that fateful holodeck incident.
First, there was the interesting encounter with Species 8472 that still left her shaking her head in bewilderment. She didn't know if she would ever grasp the concept of "extending the open hand" that had allowed Kathryn to feel confident enough to share their only real weapon against the beings from fluidic space -- her own nanoprobes, modified to destroy their bodies at a cellular level.
Seven turned and allowed herself to slide down the wall, carefully extending her leg. She wasn't due in the holodeck for her exercises for a while.
More recent memories crowded to the fore of Seven's mind. The near-loss of the Delta Flyer and the crewmembers Tom Paris, Tuvok and Samantha Wildman. The celebration of the construction of the slipstream drive, then the subsequent troubles with it. On a positive note, it had allowed them to make it ten years closer to the Alpha Quadrant. However there were still too many problems in the engine's design to allow it to be used safely and the Captain had shelved the idea until they could be absolutely positive it would work. Seven determined that as soon as she had her stamina back, she would once again expend every extra moment of her time to working out the complex equations. She would find a way to get Kathryn and the crew safely back to the Alpha quadrant.
The worst part of the last few months had not been the shattering of her leg, or the slow recovery. No, the most horrendous, absolutely terrifying experience had been when they had found the vinculum and it had activated her cortical implants, trying to call her back to the fold of the Collective. Only this vinculum was damaged, its systems had been overrun with a virus created by species 6339, and that virus had warped the vinculum's programming. Instead of bringing order to the chaos of the hive mind, it brought chaos to the order of Seven of Nine's mind. The personalities of beings she had assimilated as a drone had risen up, and taken her over, tossing aside the individual that was Annika Hansen/Seven of Nine like a rag doll. If it hadn't been for the combined efforts of Tuvok, the Doctor and B'Elanna Torres, Seven doubted that she would be here today, to bemoan the fact that she had to get up and go to her physical therapy session now.
The outer case -- the cast -- had come off of her leg within days of the operation, but inside, under the flesh, was a network of pins and wire mesh that held her bones together as they knitted. The EMH had been quite proud of his work, explaining that after she was healed, her leg would be stronger than ever. He had successfully stimulated the nanoprobes to partially assimlate the dura-calcic alloy that he'd developed on the spot, just for her. She'd been appropriately grateful -- when he'd finished his spiel about his medical heroics, she'd calmly asked why he hadn't gone the efficient route and removed the leg and replaced it with a prosthetic.
The Doctor did not agree with her assessment of efficiency, and neither, it turned out, had the Captain. Janeway had eventually had to order her to attend the daily therapy sessions after Seven had made the mistake of missing a few.
The only bearable part of the whole situation was that she did not have to undergo the arduous workout alone. Naomi Wildman, the child of Ensign Samantha Wildman, had suddenly decided that Seven was worth emulating, and had strove to become the Borg's friend, especially after the experience with the vinculum, when Seven had requested that Naomi instruct her how to play Kadis-kot. From there, the relationship between them had blossomed. Shortly after teaching Seven the basics of the unusual game, she had begun joining the Borg for her daily therapy sessions, giving Seven much needed relief from the acerbic quips of the Doctor.
The door to the cargo bay opened, and Seven heard the shuffle of small feet across the floor. Slowly, she stood, her legs and bottom having gone numb while she'd sat. Sitting was a new experience as well, one required almost hourly since the accident. Where once she could go for hours on end on her feet, she now was unable to stand for more than two hours at a time.
It was intolerable, this weakness. But she was Borg, and she would persevere. She was fully upright by the time Naomi had walked around the stacks of extra equipment.
"Naomi Wildman." Seven said, by way of greeting.
"Seven!" Naomi giggled. "Call me Naomi… I thought we had that settled. C'mon, it's time for your session in the holodeck."
"I am aware of my schedule of duties, Naomi." Seven replied. Naomi grinned.
"Well you'd better 'shake a leg', because you're about to be late." The half-Ktarian, half-human child chided, hands on her hips. When Seven made no move to leave, only raising her eyebrow, Naomi reached out, grabbed the Borg's left hand and said, "Hurry up Seven, you know how He gets when you're late." Indeed, Seven did know. The Doctor would spend the next 20 minutes detailing every reason why she should be on time for his therapy sessions, and just how grateful she should be that he had taken time out of his busy schedule just to oversee her recovery.
"All right, Naomi, Let's go."
***
The EMH was waiting in holodeck two, standing beside the special gym equipment he'd designed and tapping his foot impatiently. He looked at a padd as Seven and Naomi walked in. Critically, he studied the way Seven walked, pleased with the results. She had never had much of a limp after his operation, which was of course completely due to his astounding skill with the surgeon's knife, but it was still extremely gratifying to see that what limp there had been was finally gone. The fact that Seven was six point four seven seconds late for her session was put aside in light of this wonderful fact.
"Seven, glad you could make it. Naomi, thank you for retrieving our reluctant Borg." He set the padd aside as Seven settled herself on a weight bench. Taking out his medical tricorder, he scanned Seven's implants, then her leg. Impassively, she sat still, allowing the holographic doctor the time to pick up his padd and enter the data into the records. When he was done, he turned to Seven and smiled brightly. "Well, Seven, you'll be happy to know that this will be one of our last sessions together. The healing process is complete and I am returning you to full active duty."
Seven looked up, uncertainty coloring her features. "Does this mean that I am allowed to play Velocity again, Doctor?" She finally asked. He smirked.
"Yes Seven, this means you can engage in activities that require you to strain your body's physical abilities." The EMH did not care for the recent fad for Velocity. Too many crewmembers were ending up in sickbay, needing to be treated for mild phaser burns, sprains, bruises, and a couple of times, broken bones. It wasn't as bad as when Parrises Squares was all the rage, but it was still filling up his office on a regular basis. He sniffed disdainfully. Really. He had no idea why humans insisted on partaking in such -- dangerous -- sports. They should take up a more sedate hobby, like holo-photography. Seven bestowed on him one of her ultra-rare smiles, and as he stepped away from her, eagerly began her exercises.
"That's so cool Seven. You can challenge the Captain again, just like you've been wanting to!" Naomi burst out. Seven acknowledged Naomi's statement with a nod of her head and continued to perform the leg lifts.
"One other thing Seven, the dura-calcic alloy should make your leg much stronger than it was before, so you may want to take it easy until you know the limits of that strength."
"Understood Doctor." Seven replied as she got up and began to pace on the treadmill. Naomi began amusing her by telling her of all the new data that she had, at Seven's instruction, "assimilated". Deep down, Seven was quite proud of the young girl, and more than a little flattered by her willingness to do whatever it took to become the Bridge Assistant. No such position officially existed, but Seven was pretty certain that the captain could be convinced to allow one to be made, just to keep young Naomi on her toes.
"And I'm really glad we aren't around the Kazon any more, they were really bad for Voyager's morale. Although, I've noticed that many of the aliens that we encounter seem to have a very different view of Voyager than perhaps the captain would like to project."
"You are correct, Naomi." Seven said as she moved from the treadmill to the stationary bicycle. As she began pedaling, she continued, "Please go on with your assessment of the natives of this sector of the Delta quadrant."
So the hour went, until Seven was covered with a light sheen of sweat. Her leg ached pleasantly, not at all like the burning spikes of pain that had been her constant companion since the accident. She showered, replicated a clean uniform and reported to astrometrics exactly on time.
***
Chaos was a constant companion for Seven of Nine over the next week and a half as the ship and crew dealt with one disaster after another. Because of the activity, Seven had yet to ask Captain Janeway if she wanted to resume their schedule of Velocity rounds. She was on the bridge, performing minor adjustments to the ship's sensor array when the thought struck her and she turned to ask Kathryn to join her after their shift. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she saw Chakotay turn and speak to the captain.
"So Kathryn, are we still on for our game today?" The handsome first officer smiled, white teeth flashing against dark skin. Janeway returned his smile elegantly.
"Of course, Chakotay, I wouldn't miss it." Seven watched as the captain placed a familiar hand on the first officer's knee. Seven's jaw snapped shut and she quickly finished her calibrations, then spun on her heel and fled the bridge like a pack of Ferengi on the scent of profit were after her.
All the way to the astrometrics lab fiery lancets of nova bright emotion stabbed through Seven's heart, her brain had curled up in a corner and was gibbering insanely. White lights danced in the Borg's vision. She felt light and heavy all at once, and her stomach was violently rejecting her mid-shift nutritional supplement. Seven clamped her teeth down tightly, she was Borg! She would not give in to this! Humanity was irrelevant! Love was irrelevant! By the time she'd made it to her duty station, her face was a cold mask of Borg perfection. Crew members that normally greeted her cheerfully gave her a wide berth as she strode over to her console and began viciously inputting data. Seven of Nine had experienced a new side to individuality -- jealousy.
***
"Wonder why she was in such a hurry?" Chakotay mused, as he watched the retreating form of Seven's back.
"I haven't a clue." Janeway said quietly, but inwardly, she winced. She had a pretty good idea of why the Borg had vanished in such a hurry, and she knew that she was going to have to have a talk with Seven, soon. She sighed, she and Seven hadn't had the chance to play Velocity since the encounter with the V'layrionikan waste pods. The crew had encountered the rabbit-like species shortly after Janeway and Seven had been rescued from the holodeck. The aliens had been obsequiously apologetic and had generously equipped the ship with much needed supplies as compensation for the trouble they had inadvertently caused Voyager and her crew. Seven had been forbidden by the Doctor from engaging in games of physical sport, and instead, relegated to daily regimens of scientifically designed exercises. Janeway knew that the Borg had chafed under the restriction and had privately commiserated with her. However, she also had to keep her own strength up, and so had engaged Commander Chakotay in daily rounds of Velocity as a way of staying fit.
She enjoyed playing the ex-Maquis, but not nearly as much as she enjoyed her games with Seven. She hoped the young woman would soon be able to start playing again. She was supposed to receive a report from the Doctor on the young woman's progress sometime during the shift, and she hoped that it would be full of good news. She figured that Seven had overheard Chakotay ask about their game and had been upset, probably thought that the captain had gone and replaced her when she was no longer functional as an opponent. Well, it's not as if you've done anything to dispel that idea, Katie. Her inner voice chided. You haven't invited her over for poker, haven't had lunch with her, haven't even done anything personal with her since you spent hours chatting up her 'alter' personalities. She probably thinks you're disgusted by her. Janeway winced. That was as far from the truth as it could be. If anything, Janeway wanted to spend more time than was humanly possible with the beautiful young woman, but she had quickly set aside that notion. It would never do for her to seduce Seven, even if she had nothing but the best of intentions.
Her fingertips buzzed pleasantly at the thought of the Borg and she absently rubbed them together. Still, she couldn't ignore the purely physical response she felt every time Seven was in the room, and she allowed herself a moment to wonder what it would be like…
"Kathryn?" Chakotay's low voice rumbled, breaking her out of her dream-world.
"Yes, Chakotay?"
"You were a million miles away. I thought I'd better call you home, the Doctor's on his way up."
"Thank you." She smiled at her first officer, glad for the umpteenth time that she'd chosen him to serve in that capacity. She rose, said, "I'll be in my Ready Room. You have the bridge."
"Aye, Captain." He smiled, then turned and began studying some data that streamed across the screen set in the arm of the first officer's chair.
***
Kathryn limped into her quarters, cursing softly. There was no one else in the corridor to see her, and she was grateful as hell for that little blessing. During the last round with Chakotay, she'd slipped in something, causing her to twist in an awkward position to catch herself and make the shot. She'd won the match, but now her right calf was screaming in abused agony. It wasn't bad enough to send her to the Doctor, she felt, but it was enough to make the walk back to her quarters a minor nightmare.
A hot shower did go a long way toward healing the hurt, but it still felt like someone was trying to drive a wedge between the muscle and the bone. Dressed in a loose fitting shift, with her silken robe over it, Janeway had curled up on her couch with a cup of hot coffee. The Doctor's report was sitting on her lap, and she was chewing on her lip, musing over how to approach Seven of Nine. After the display on the bridge earlier, coupled with what she now knew from the report, the captain was sure that she had a large breach to fix between her and the young Borg.
***
Seven was in her cargo bay, determinedly running quantum slipstream formulae through the ship's processors when the doors slid open, revealing Naomi and a Kadis-kot board. She did not look up from her figures, but continued to run random variables while introducing new equations.
"Seven? Aren't you going to come and play Kadis-kot with me?" Naomi asked, after setting up the board in their customary spot near the rise of Seven's alcove. The young half-Ktarian's voice held a waver of uncertainty that somehow broke through Seven's shield of non-emotion and caused her heart to jump erratically. Swallowing hard, Seven briefly closed her eyes and made her choice.
She set the padd down and joined Naomi on the floor. "Yes. I believe you won the last game, so you may go first."
"Okay." Naomi replied and placed a tile. They played, and Seven devoted half of her attention to the round and the other half to her feelings about what had happened on the bridge.
I was not there to be Kathryn's partner. I failed her, and therefore she sought another. Perhaps it is better this way. I do not need…
"Seven? Seven? It's your move, Seven." Naomi was waving her hand in front of the Borg's face, trying to get her attention.
"My apologies, Naomi. I was… thinking about something else." Seven replied, and made her move.
"Oh. What were you thinking about?" Naomi asked as she contemplated the board.
"Captain Janeway." Seven replied matter-of-factly.
Naomi smiled knowingly. "You like her a lot, don't you?"
Seven nodded, acceding the point. "Yes, she is…" she searched around for the proper phrase, "a good friend. Like you, Naomi Wildman." Naomi beamed at the pronouncement.
"You're a good friend too, Seven. Even if Mom doesn't always understand why I like you." Seven shared a smile with Naomi. They both knew that Ensign Wildman had been terrified of the Borg at first, and only recently had Sam begun to speak to Seven, out of deference to her daughter's choice of friends.
"Perhaps one day your mother will understand." Seven offered, taking her turn.
"Maybe. Anyway, I was going to say that the Captain likes you too. She's always watching over you, you know?"
"She is?" Seven asked softly, wonder lighting her eyes.
"Oh yeah. I remember, right after you hurt your leg, I was in sickbay, getting a lesson from the Doctor when she walked in and stood beside the biobed and watched you sleep for almost ten minutes. Then you started to wake up and she left."
Seven's eyes had closed. She remembered. She'd been swimming in a haze of pain and confusion, feeling scared and alone and she'd called out, "Kathryn?" and Kathryn was there, warm fingers on her face, caressing, a soothing voice whispering, "Shh… It's all right, I'm here." She'd thought it was a dream, a half-memory of when they'd been trapped in the elevator shaft. Suddenly, it was very real, and her heart felt like it was filled with bubbles.
"You know Seven, you have such a great smile. You should smile more often." Naomi remarked, setting her final piece. "Kadis-kot."
Seven didn't care that she'd just lost. Kathryn had been there. She cared, she really cared. Oh, what a sensation that was, flying at warp speeds through her blood. "Thank you, Naomi." Seven whispered.
"For what?" Naomi asked, curiously, as she put up the game board.
"For reminding me. And for being my friend."
"Oh, well, you're welcome. Well, it's time for my supper, so I've got to go. Tomorrow?"
"If I am available, yes. Be sure to perform your evening ablutions, and have pleasant dreams." Naomi made a face.
"Yes, Seven-mama." Seven glared at Naomi as the young girl giggled and skipped out of the cargo bay.
***
Seven was cleaning up the area around her alcove when her comm badge chirped.
"Janeway to Seven of Nine."
"Yes, Captain?"
"Would you please join me for a cup of tea, Annika?" Seven's heart bounced, Kathryn only used her human name when she wanted to spend time with her as a friend.
"Of course, Kathryn." She replied, dropping several padds in her haste to beat a trail to the captain's quarters.
Once there, she noticed Janeway's attire and found herself having to concentrate on breathing. On the coffee table, Kathryn had set out a proper tea service, with small petit fours and shortbread cookies to supplement the darkly fragrant drink.
"Please, have a seat." Janeway indicated the couch, and Seven sat gingerly, folding her hands in her lap. Kathryn poured them each a cup, handing Seven hers, then sat down at the opposite end of the couch and carefully folded her legs up under her. Early on in their friendship, she had discovered that the Borg actually liked a spicy blend of terran tea that Kathryn's sister Phoebe had invented, and programmed into Voyager's replicator before the ship had left the Alpha quadrant. It had unaccountable warmed the captain to know that Seven enjoyed her sister's concoction, even though she herself could barely stand it.
Seven sipped at the tea, drinking it because it was something Kathryn's sister had created, and because Kathryn had made it for her. She supposed that it had a unique flavor, but really, to her, most consumables were just nutrients that she had to ingest in order to continue to function. She did admit privately that this "tea" tasted better than anything Neelix had offered her, though. Kathryn settled back into the couch, wincing slightly as the muscles in her right leg twinged.
"Thank you for coming up on such short notice, Annika. It's so nice to have the pleasure of your company again."
"Of course, Kathryn. I very much enjoy spending time with you." Perhaps she was a bit too eager in her response, but she wanted to stress how very important Kathryn was to her. Maybe then the captain would reconsider her choice of Chakotay as her new Velocity partner, maybe then, they could be as they were -- a team. Maybe. More than likely, she was about to be deactivated from her role as Kathryn's friend.
Kathryn smiled, touched by the simple words. "I'm sorry that I didn't make time before this. Things have been rather out of hand." She sipped at her tea, taking the time to choose her words carefully. "Seven, I'm afraid that I've been somewhat… remiss in managing my end of our friendship, and for that, I apologize."
"Captain?" Seven blurted, forgetting to use the captain's name in her surprise. "I don't see…"
"Of course you don't, Annika." Janeway said quietly, eyes sad. "You wouldn't. You would have let me continue to ignore you, to let you go until there was no friendship left between us. All because no one ever told you how to assert your rights as a friend. I should have been the one to be there when you took your first painful steps when the cast was removed. I should have been there when you started those damnable exercises, and I certainly should have told you that I'd asked Commander Chakotay to take over your spot as my Velocity partner until your leg had healed." The words tumbled out of Janeway's mouth, harsh and bitter. But the bitterness was directed at herself, and not at the young woman perched tenuously on the end of the captain's couch, body crouched as if she'd spring up and fly away at any given moment.
Seven didn't know what to say. Everything she'd been feeling up to that moment had been so certain. She had been sure that the captain had merely replaced her -- just like in the Collective, replacing a defective drone with a more efficient one. She had accepted that Kathryn wouldn't have her terminated, like the Queen would have, but she had been certain that her status on the ship would be lessened, and that her role in Kathryn's life would be nullified. When the captain had called her to her quarters, Seven was prepared to hear the final goodbye, not this. Not that Kathryn felt so strongly about her.
Naomi's words from the cargo bay came back to her, along with the pleasant memories those words had exposed. She swallowed several times, unable to speak. Finally, she set her teacup into the saucer on the coffee table and took a deep breath.
"Does this mean we can meet for Velocity tomorrow?" she asked in a small voice, unable to look the captain in the eye.
"Annika?" Kathryn said. Slowly, Seven turned her head to look at the captain's smiling face. Without thinking she bit down on her lower lip, causing her chin to quaver.
"Yes, Kathryn?" she whispered.
"Yes. We will play Velocity tomorrow, and every day thereafter, if that is what you wish to do." Seven's face metamorphosed, a smile of such incandescence that transformed her features from bleak depression to pure ecstasy.
"If it is okay with you, I would like to play poker as well. And swim, I have discovered a program that is wonderful for such an activity." Seven babbled on, describing various things she had thought that she might wish to attempt, but had wanted to share with the captain. Happiness overwhelmed the Borg conditioning, allowing Seven's humanity to fully overtake her. Kathryn laughed heartily at the young woman's enthusiasm.
"It all sounds wonderful to me, Seven." Seven flushed, basking in the warmth of Janeway's smile. Kathryn shifted on the couch, and winced again.
"Kathryn? Are you ill?" Seven asked, suddenly very much herself again, reaching to tap her comm badge. "Do you need me to call the Doctor?"
"No! That won't be necessary Seven. Really, I'm all right. I just pulled a muscle in my leg. I'll be fine." Janeway stopped the Borg from calling the EMH. He was the last person she wanted to see right now.
Seven nodded, mildly confused by Janeway's refusal to have the Doctor bring her something for the pain, but she accepted the captain's decision. She was worried, though. The thought of Kathryn in even the most minor amount of pain distressed her. She put her Borg intellect to the problem. A memory surfaced, of a species that used specific pressure techniques to relieve pain.
"Which leg did you injure, Kathryn?" Seven asked, polite concern tingeing her voice. Kathryn rolled her eyes expressively.
"The right one, of course. I really need to remember to watch where I'm stepping." She groused, stretching out her leg, allowing the muscle to relax some.
This was exactly what Seven wanted. Quickly, and without asking, she took the captain's foot in her Borg-enhanced hand and began applying steady pressure to specific points along the bottom, while using her human hand to stroke the calf gently.
Startled at first, Kathryn none-the-less submitted to the Borg's touch. Like I'm going to stop this. Oh my god, this is absolutely amazing. Seven fingers caressed out the ache, the pressure never hurtful, or even tickling, just enough to soothe away the muscle's fatigue. When she had relaxed the injured leg to near gelatin-like consistency, she moved on to the other leg.
"Oh my." Janeway said, breath coming in ragged gasps as Seven's fingers moved slowly over her foot and calf, half in caress, half in massage. It was glorious, the way this was making her feel.
Seven looked up, startled by the captain's words. When she met Kathryn's eyes, she had to bite her own tongue to keep from speaking.
Kathryn's eyes were the deepest blue she'd ever seen them, and those eyes were half-lidded with pleasure, raking over Seven almost possessively. The Borg could feel her own breathing begin to match the captain's and, without considering the consequences, she allowed her fingers to dance up the sides of Janeway's leg, until they brushed over the smooth skin of her inner thigh. Janeway's eyes closed completely, lost in the blissful sensation.
"Annika…" she whispered.
"Kathryn." Seven responded, continuing to stroke the captain's thigh gently, not pushing, and not really certain what to do. Kathryn's eyes opened at Seven's voice, and her eyes held the Borg's for several long minutes. Neither woman moved or breathed. Slowly, ever so slowly, Kathryn reached out to cover Seven's hand with her own. Their fingers entwined, meshing together. Seven felt like she was sliding down a slick precipice, the bottom of which she could not see, but that did not seem to matter as Janeway slowly lifted their linked hands.
"Bridge to the Captain." Tuvok's voice interrupted them. Startled, Kathryn dropped Seven's hand and both women immediately became completely professional.
"Janeway here, go ahead." The captain responded.
"We have received a distress call from a Brenari vessel approximately four light years away."
"All right, Tuvok. I'm on my way." Janeway was already up and into her bedroom, grabbing the newly replicated uniform she'd laid out to wear the next day. Uniformed, Janeway was all Captain as she indicated for Seven to precede her. Neither woman spoke as they both headed to the bridge.
***
Over the weeks that followed, Janeway kept her promise to Seven, playing Velocity with her whenever she had a spare moment, but there were no late night rendezvous in her quarters with the young Borg. Kashyk of the Devore made it impossible for Janeway to allow herself to be vulnerable at any point during their stay in Devore space. She was quite certain that Seven was confused beyond description, because she herself had no idea of how to describe what had been about to happen between them, before Tuvok had interrupted them on that fateful night, only weeks ago. Now that they were free of Devore space, perhaps that journey could be started again. But first, she had to wash the taste of Kashyk from her, purge the man's silken evil from her soul and skin before she allowed herself to reach out to Seven in any fashion.
She entered her ready room and ordered a cup of coffee from the replicator, then collapsed into her chair. Her deskpadd was flashing, indicating that someone had sent her an inter-ship message.
It was from Seven, requesting that they meet to play poker that night. Almost, almost, Janeway sent a message to the negative, but she had written, "Please meet me in my quarters at 1845 hours, and bring your beans." and hit send before she could stop herself.
Better get crackin' Katie, if you want to keep that date. Her inner voice reminded her. Grimly, she chucked the remains of her coffee into the recycler and logged off duty. On the bridge, she turned the conn over to Chakotay, who all but ordered her into bed.
Then she went to the holodeck, where she proceeded to run through one of Tuvok's most grueling battle scenarios.
***
Seven of Nine stared at herself in the mirror one more time, checking over ever inch of her body. She would be perfect tonight. She would look as Human as she could, so Kathryn would be pleased. With a little help from Naomi, who'd been delighted to aid Seven in choosing a new wardrobe, she'd replicated herself a simple blue tunic and trews. A pair of slip-on shoes covered her feet, and she styled her hair in a loose ponytail, gathered at the nape of her neck. The startled, but pleased looks she received on her way to the captain's quarters told her that she had chosen well, and she made a note to thank Naomi for her help.
Seven stood outside of Janeway's door, and gathered her courage, then pressed the entry chime. When she did not receive a reply, she pressed the chime again, and when it went unanswered a third time, she entered her access code and went into the captain's quarters. Once, when she and Janeway had first started playing poker together, she'd come to play, and Janeway had barely been able to croak out the command to allow her to enter. Some kind of alien retro-virus had infected the captain to the point that she couldn't even get out of her bed. She had even been unable to summon the Doctor, the virus having stolen away her voice. To prevent that from ever happening again, she'd given Seven a special access code for emergencies. Right now, Seven was worried sick that something was horribly wrong with Kathryn.
She searched through the rooms, surprised but relieved to find the captain absent, instead of ill or injured. Since she had not been summoned to the bridge or to astrometrics, she believed the captain to be detained by a personal matter. Unsure of what to do, she settled into the couch and eventually dozed off.
***
Kathryn staggered into her quarters, bruised and sore everywhere, but it was a self-satisfied soreness. She'd defeated the Vulcan's program, and in the process, managed to feel free of Kashyk's touch. She wanted a shower so badly she could taste it, and she knew that the stench wafting off of her body was forcing the environmental filters to work just a little harder to purify the air surrounding her. She was so focused on her destination, that she did not see the sleeping form of the Borg on her couch, and shortly, her uniform jacket and tunic obscured Seven from sight.
Seven woke to a particularly fragrant article of clothing draped over her face. The smell wasn't unpleasant, just strong. It made her think of things primal and uncontrolled. She inhaled deeply, opening her eyes and recognizing the pip configuration on the uniform tunic as that of the captain's. She sat up, searching the room for Kathryn, but the captain was in the ensuite, the shower almost, but not quite drowning out a groan of pain.
The Borg quickly stood, and walked to the doorway of the ensuite. Steam wafted through the air, and she heard the captain groan again.
She was just about to ask if something was wrong when she heard Kathryn whisper, "Oh god, I could certain use Annika's magic hands on my back right now." Well, who was Seven to deny Kathryn's most heartfelt wish? Shedding her clothes without a thought, she stepped into the shower and slid her hands up Janeway's back.
The captain, still in a haze of pain and fatigue, barely felt the whisper-light touch, until that touch became a caress, then, a deep massage. Every nerve ending from the base of her neck to her waist exploded in a hailstorm of sensation. The combination of warm human hand and cool metallic mesh mixed to produce the most amazing sensation that curled up from Kathryn's toes to the top of her head, to roll back down and settle in the pit of her stomach. She realized that she'd somehow gotten her wish, and she wasn't about to walk away from such a gift.
Slowly, the unique blend of massage and hot water worked to drive away her soreness and exhaustion, and she turned around, to face Seven.
"Thank you." She whispered, unsure of anything else to say. Seven smiled, and in a huge burst of courage, reached out and placed her hands on Janeway's hips. Kathryn slid into Seven's embrace, resting her head against the Borg's breastbone.
"You're welcome, Kathryn." Janeway felt the answer rumble through Seven's body, and sighed contentedly. The Borg's hands moved from Kathryn's hips to her lower back and resumed their tender caress. Janeway looked up, feeling both her and Seven's breathing move into synch, ragged and filled with anticipation.
"I don't know how much longer I can resist…" She was certain that she'd only thought the words, but Seven's smile widened impossibly.
"Resistance is futile." The words, once so evocative of fear, now became the most beautiful words Kathryn Janeway had ever heard as Seven's head bent toward hers, and she lifted her own to meet soft lips. They covered hers, claiming her, surrendering to her, telling her without words what a fool she'd been to think she'd be the one seducing Annika. It was Annika who seduced her, who teased her mouth open to run a curious yet bold tongue along her teeth, then tangled for space with her own tongue. Kathryn moaned, deep in her throat, as the younger woman's hands were suddenly everywhere, caressing, holding and loving her. Their bodies slid together, molding perfectly around the other as water cascaded around them.
Then she was being lifted up and carried into the bedroom, the kiss never ending, only expanding to her neck, her shoulders, her ears, eyes, everywhere the Borg's lips could reach. Kathryn returned the kisses eagerly, throwing all caution out an airlock and consuming ever inch of Seven's skin she could touch with abandon. It was only when she felt the bed under her damp back, and the weight of the body on top of hers that she decided it was time to slow down.
Carefully, she captured Seven's head and drew her up from where she'd been lovingly nibbling on Kathryn's chest and kissed her soundly. Then she pulled away and took a deep breath.
"Annika, we need to stop."
Seven leapt like a scalded cat away from Kathryn, babbling, "I am so sorry, Captain I did not realize that you did not want this to happen, I will leave now and I will not botheryoueveragain…"
"Seven of Nine." The harshness in Janeway's voice was laced with amusement. Abruptly, Seven's jaw snapped shut.
"Yes, Captain?" She replied crisply, but did not turn around.
Kathryn reached out and grabbed her robe off of the chair near the foot of her bed, wrapped it around her, then patted the bed beside her. "Get over here." When Seven hesitated, Janeway stood up and placed a hand on the Borg's mesh-covered shoulder. The younger woman flinched at the captain's touch, but did not move away. "I wasn't shoving you away. Good God no. I want this as badly as I think you do, but I want us to do it right, to take time. I want us to have the chance to last beyond a single night's pleasure."
Seven was hurt, confused, aroused and stunned. Tentatively, she turned around, facing Kathryn. Lower lip trembling, she asked, "You do not wish me to leave?" Janeway's hand drifted up from Seven's should to caress her cheek, then cupped her palm against the smoothness, fingertips brushing the area around the starburst implant tenderly. Their eyes met, and Janeway's face crinkled into a loving smile.
"No, Seven. I don't want you to go. In fact, I'd love it if you could stay all night. I just wanted us to slow down, to have the opportunity to fall in love completely and not let lust get in the way."
"There is emotion beyond what I feel for you now, Kathryn?" Seven asked, awed.
"What do you feel now, Annika?" Kathryn replied.
"Everything." The Borg replied. "I feel your hand on my face, your heartbeat in your fingertips, the hum of the warp engines under my feet, even the air around me, but most of all, I feel you, inside here." Seven lifted her hand and brushed her chest. "And this feeling is the most wonderful I have experienced since you released me from the Collective. I cannot fathom feeling anything beyond this, because this feeling fills me to bursting. It has become the only thing I wish to feel ever again."
Kathryn was speechless. Here she thought she'd hear that Seven had been attracted to her, when in reality, she'd just been handed the young woman's heart on a gilt-edged platter. She didn't respond, just drew Seven's head down for a long, searing kiss and Seven learned where the bottom of that precipice was -- in Kathryn Janeway's arms. When they parted, she said, "That was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me, Annika Hansen. I don't quite know how to respond."
Seven chuckled, a dryly amused sound that made Janeway smile just to hear it. "I thought the kiss was quite an erudite answer, Kathryn." Seven's voice was husky, and her eyes raked over the captain's scantily-clad body.
Janeway's heart skipped a beat, and her skin flushed from the heat she felt from Seven's glance. A warning prickle started in her fingertips and shot like an electric arc straight into her groin. They kissed again, falling back onto the bed, tangling themselves in the blankets and each other for several minutes. Seven discovered that the gown which had covered up the captain's beautifully compact body was easily slid aside, granting her access to the smooth skin hidden beneath the silky fabric.
Only when their breath came in short, ragged gasps did they separate, Kathryn pulling back, bringing the intensity level down. A strangled groan escaped Seven's throat and the captain reached out and took the Borg's hand in her own.
"Oh my darling, I know it's hard to stop. To be honest, a part of me does not wish to either."
"Then why do we stop, Kathryn? I wish to… to… I'm not quite sure how to say what I wish to do, but I do know that it does not involve ceasing to touch you." Seven finally said. Janeway sighed ruefully. She's got you there, Katie. Why are you stopping? She's yours now, bring her home to mama! Her inner voice pricked at her.
Kathryn tilted her head up to look Seven in the eye, blue meeting blue and both losing the other for several wonderful moments, then, "Because I'm scared to death." Janeway finally whispered, a barely audible answer, one which only Seven's Borg-enhanced hearing could pick up.
Hearing that, knowing what was at the root of her Kathryn's desire to go slowly, was all that Seven needed to understand. She smiled shyly, reached her human hand out to clasp Janeways and bring it to her mouth, softly kissing the tips of the older woman's fingers. Kathryn's eyes fluttered shut, and suddenly, she found herself lifted into a warm lap, cuddled close like a small child. Only the arms that wrapped around her were anything but maternal and the voice that rumbled up from the soft chest she found herself pillowed against was filled with controlled desire.
"I will comply." A simple statement, but the depth of its meaning lifted the haze of fear that had constricted Kathryn's heart, and she relaxed into the Borg's arms, content.
Several minutes later, she snapped alert, Seven was in the process of attempting to re-dress her and not quite succeeding.
"Seven, what are you doing?" Janeway asked sleepily.
"You are in need of regeneration, Captain. I was endeavoring to clothe you in your nighttime uniform." Kathryn struggled upright, noticing that the Borg had somehow managed to put her dressing gown on backwards. "I see that I have failed. Perhaps you could show me the proper protocol for nighttime wear." Janeway chuckled and shrugged out of the silky robe and went into the ensuite to retrieve her nightgown.
"This is what I wear to sleep in, Annika." She explained to the younger woman who was watching the captain's ablutions with avid curiosity. A bit self-consciously, Kathryn washed her face and brushed her teeth, then turned to look at Seven, who was still naked. "I guess we'll need to find something for you to wear, as well." She said, somewhat amusedly.
Seven blinked. "I was not aware that I was staying, Captain. I can always wear these." She picked up the tunic and trews she had replicated earlier. "They are sufficient for sleeping on the couch." Not too long ago Seven had discovered that she could in fact, sleep for a couple of hours at a time, rather than regenerating in her alcove, a fact which the Captain intended to use to assign the younger woman her own quarters.
Kathryn looked at Seven sharply and in a no-nonsense voice,
she said, "You're
staying,
and you're not sleeping on the couch." Quickly, she turned to the
replicator
and keyed in a code. What materialized were a pair of black silk boxers
and
a matching sleep-shirt. Silently she handed them to Seven, who slipped
them
on, then spent several moments stroking the whispery material.
"I find this attire… pleasant." Seven said, after a while. Kathryn, who had been indulging in a long look at the Borg's expanse of legs, only grinned.
"I'm glad you like it Seven." She replied, and yawned again. She indicated the replicator with a nod of her head, "Why don't you finish getting ready for bed… I'll be in the bedroom."
Seven promptly created the items necessary for her to prepare for sleep, used them, then returned to Kathryn's bedroom. The captain had stretched out on the mattress, the crème satin of her shift puddling around her in soft waves. The Borg slid into the bed behind the captain and pulled the older woman into her arms.
"Is this slow enough for you, Kathryn?" She murmured into Janeway's ear, somehow inspired to nibble gently at the soft lobe she found there.
Janeway purred and rolled over, facing Seven. "Much," she purred through a yawn.
"You are tired, Kathryn, you should sleep." Seven said quietly, gently rubbing the captain's back.
"I know, but I'm enjoying this too much. I," Yawn. "Really don't want to miss any of it."
"I shall be here in the morning, Kathryn." Seven replied easily, reaching down and pulling the blanket up around them.
"Mmm, true. Annika?" Kathryn asked sleepily.
"Yes, Kathryn?"
"I hope you aren't angry with me."
"Never, Kathryn. I believe I can see the wisdom of 'waiting', and I shall wait for you forever."
"You are too good to me, Annika, thank you." The captain murmured into Seven's chest, then promptly fell asleep.
Seven only smiled and wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. Seven's world had just been turned inside out and set back on its ear, but she didn't care, because she had been assimilated by Love, and had discovered that she wasn't a mindless slave, but a willing companion.
fin
*Author's Note: I'd like to mention that this story, and all of the other stories so far in the "Voyages of the Soul" series were greatly inspired and influenced by the music on the Practical Magic soundtrack. Thank you to all the wonderful musicians who contributed to the CD.
04/24/99